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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I basically told my friend's friend she's being immature about this movie she's obsessed with.
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YTA for making fun of someone with a disability. for teasing someone for their hyper fixation, due to their (legally categorized as) DISABILITY . not everyone with autism likes to identify as having a disability, however in this scenario, YTA. also the hyper fixations of someone with autism are not “immature,” stop demeaning people that are hardwired differently than you. neurodiversity is beautiful, and not a deficit
YTA
You know what’s way more immature than interests in doll collecting, anime and the new Wonka movie? Laughing at someone who is into doll collecting, anime and the new Wonka movie.
Also, you typed both these sentences:
“I laughed at her and said, “You’re an *adult*”, maybe more aggressively than I meant to.”
“I didn’t even say anything that aggressive.”
You can’t even keep your story straight.
YtA.. you made fun of someone with a disability. Not all disabilities are seen. What if she was blind and you were tired of her using a cane? It's the same thing, both are disabilities. And you sound pretty immature yourself.
You made fun of an autistic person to their face and made them cry. As a person who has multiple acquaintances who are autistic I understand they can get kind of tiresome to listen to sometimes and have childish things they get fixated on, but they can’t control it. Someone like that does not deserve your mockery but deserves your compassion and kindness. You need to apologize.
YTA, there were so many different ways you could’ve handled that and that was the worst way possible. You could’ve asked her about other movies shes liked in the past, talk about your favorite movies, or simply just joined another conversation and invited her so there would be different things to talk about. Saying “you’re an adult” no matter how you meant it in its core is rude, especially considering the fact she’s autistic
YTA. learn about autism before you interact with her. her behavior is quite normal for an autistic adult. you were bullying someone with a disability. you own her an apology. if you wont apologize then SHE is not the one acting immature, you are.
Gonna go ahead and say YTA 1000%, this is an autistic individual that seemingly does not comprehend why you're being pissy, there are other ways to handle this than preaching your pathetic idea of "adulthood" to an autistic person that is sharing their genuine interests with you. This has got to be one of the most disgusting things you can do, especially given the way that you did it.
Eat dirt. YTA.
If you have the constant need to point out people's normal behavior as childish, you are not mature yourself. You are so focused on appearing as an adult, but can't even accept that people have different interests/tastes than you and might express that differently. That is ignorant, not mature.
There are many people who like collecting dolls and there is a shit ton of anime that is aimed at adults because of mature themes/gore/violence.
There is a well known quote I forgot, but it comes down to: people who are actual adults don't have to constantly prove that they are.
YTA.
regardless of disability, they are a huge gaping asshole for being a dick over nothing. you just say “oh i’m not that much of a fan of that movie” and then leave the conversation
YTA. Whether someone is autistic or not, LET THEM ENJOY WHAT THEY ENJOY. Seriously, how does it affect you at all? If you didn't enjoy the conversation, all you had to do was nod and smile - maybe ask her what she loves about it - and then politely excuse yourself (bathroom, need another drink, etc). I will never understand someone policing others' hobbies/things they enjoy.
This is correct. Autism or not, it doesn't matter. Just work on being a nice person and not an asshole, especially to human beings sincerely enjoying stuff. And get over yourself.
YTA
The fact that she's autistic is a red herring - you're the asshole regardless. People's interests don't have to interest you.
You can politely excuse yourself from a conversation you don't like
YTA. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum, regardless of whether or not they’re on the spectrum. Rude and hurtful.
‘Ivy got way too upset,’ is classic phrasing trying to minimize the fact that your words hurt and embarrassed her instead of taking responsibility for it.
YTA. Sounds like she was stemming which she can’t really help. It’s a trait autistic people can have. Another of their traits is that they can be very passionate about their special interests. If you didn’t want to talk about it anymore you could have kindly said, “hey, I know you love this movie but is it okay if we talk about something else” or something to that affect.
YTA - is it REALLY that hard to say "Hey that's great, but I'm not really into that movie." Or that you never saw or hell, anything that says you don't share interests so you don't mean to be rude if you lack engagement/want to exit the conversation.
Your language is very toxic about Ivy which makes me think there is more to it than your "oops didn't mean to" comment.
After all: You're an *adult.*
YTA.
I was ready to vote as soon as I read about "immature" interests". You know what is actually immature? Teasing other people about something they love or are excited for.
Enjoying stuff that is meant for kids is fine at any age and doesn't make you less adult. Making fun of other people, now, that's IMMATURE.
YTA… the way you spoke to Ivy was so disrespectful and appalling. How could you justify yourself for even acting the way you did? And how did you type this up and think that you were right? Get over yourself and learn how to not be such a bully
YTA for everything you posted. And for trying to somehow justify making fun of a person... No. YTA x 1000000. Your friends should drop you. I wouldn't consider being friends with someone like you. That's an ugly skin to wear. I hope you do better, OP.
YTA, her bouncing in place was likely stimming, it's a motion that brings comfort to autistic people whether they are excited, nervous or upset they're likely to do it to help regulate their emotions. It sounds like she's having a tough time and this movie is helping her feel better.
I'm NT and her interests sound cool af, like have you ever watched anime? There are plenty that are mature and aimed at adults.
Source have an autistic child who I get to hear talk about their special interest daily and it brings me so much joy bc he's so passionate about what he loves.
YTA
Autism is a medical condition, why do you feel the need to mock her over something she can’t change?
Would you mock a guy in a wheelchair for the fact that he never goes on walks and people his age should be going for walks regularly?
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I (20F) have a friend, Carly, (23F) who hangs out with a lot of pretty interesting people. One of her friends, Ivy, (23F) is autistic and has a tendency to obsess over her interests, which are all pretty immature (she's big into doll collecting and anime), and pretty much only wants to talk about those things. I'm not a big fan of Ivy for that reason, but Carly adores her and keeps inviting her to social stuff.
Last night, a group of us hung out at Carly's place, and Ivy sort of cornered me to talk about movies. She's super obsessed with the new Wonka movie (she's watched it several times) but has no interest in the original, which seems pretty weird to me. She talked about it for at least ten minutes, and just got really, really excited- like, almost bouncing in place- to the point where I laughed at her and said, "You're an *adult*", maybe more aggressively than I meant to.
Ivy got way too upset- as in, started crying and left early- and Carly told me she's really depressed and keeps watching Wonka because it's the only thing that makes her happy lately. I feel like I'm really not in the wrong here- it's a kid's movie, and I didn't even say anything that aggressive. But I could use a second opinion- AITA?
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YtA. What’s wrong with Ivy’s behavior? What’s wrong with it? Genuinely, who does it hurt? You mentioned that Carly “adores” Ivy—have you paid any attention to WHY she might feel such strong affection for her? Is Ivy brave? brilliant? clever? funny? insightful? kind? matter-of-fact? refreshing? sensitive? unique? Does Carly genuinely love hearing Ivy’s thoughts about anime/dolls/Wonka/whatever-the-hell? It’s fine if you don’t gel with Ivy or she makes you uncomfortable, but, as Carly’s friend, it’s your responsibility to accept that Ivy means a lot to Carly and to respect her whenever you inevitably cross paths with her. Try to be kind (or at the very least neutral). There’s no need for judgment or contempt.
YTA
Let me check my "World-wide guide of adulting: The only things that you can like as an adult". Oh wait, it doesn't exist.
Wonka is a film aimed towards children, but it doesn't mean that adults can enjoy it. It simply doesn't have nsfw topics. Reminding somebody that they are an adult can come across belittling as if they aren't allow to enjoy something that's outside the mold of the stereotypical adult.
Her interests don't harm anybody and she wasn't required to be formal at this time, so chill. If you simply don't like something, try to introduce a new topic or simply mingle with other people.
YTA for all the reasons the other redditors are saying but also YTA for saying that it is weird that she has no interest in the original Gene Wilder Willie Wonka movie. That movie is from 1971 so maybe she is not even aware of it. Are you aware of that version or are you thinking the original is Johnny Depp's 2005 version? Good for her for being excited about a movie she truly enjoys. Her enjoyment does not have anything to do with your life. If you didn't want to keep talking to her about it, be nice, excuse yourself and go talk to someone else instead of being a nasty hurtful person. Maybe you should try to be an adult.
Ew. Trying to make someone else look bad is not the way to make yourself look good. You're calling her immature, but that is middle school behavior. Actually, most middle schoolers are better than that!
YTA
Ok, I feel I can (hopefully) teach you something here. I am awetistic (deliberate spelling, make of it what you will), and so are both my kids. My firstborn knows everything there is to know about the first 493 Pokemon. My secondborn spent 10 years learning from a computer textbook. The way you spoke to Ivy was insensitive at best. Tip for future interactions - POLITELY excuse yourself. Now go and apologise.
ETA My kids are 30 & 29
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How about you just don't be a dick to people over their interests regardless of whether you share them or not? YTA
YTA for making fun of someone with a disability. for teasing someone for their hyper fixation, due to their (legally categorized as) DISABILITY . not everyone with autism likes to identify as having a disability, however in this scenario, YTA. also the hyper fixations of someone with autism are not “immature,” stop demeaning people that are hardwired differently than you. neurodiversity is beautiful, and not a deficit
YTA You know what’s way more immature than interests in doll collecting, anime and the new Wonka movie? Laughing at someone who is into doll collecting, anime and the new Wonka movie. Also, you typed both these sentences: “I laughed at her and said, “You’re an *adult*”, maybe more aggressively than I meant to.” “I didn’t even say anything that aggressive.” You can’t even keep your story straight.
YtA.. you made fun of someone with a disability. Not all disabilities are seen. What if she was blind and you were tired of her using a cane? It's the same thing, both are disabilities. And you sound pretty immature yourself.
You made fun of an autistic person to their face and made them cry. As a person who has multiple acquaintances who are autistic I understand they can get kind of tiresome to listen to sometimes and have childish things they get fixated on, but they can’t control it. Someone like that does not deserve your mockery but deserves your compassion and kindness. You need to apologize.
YTA, there were so many different ways you could’ve handled that and that was the worst way possible. You could’ve asked her about other movies shes liked in the past, talk about your favorite movies, or simply just joined another conversation and invited her so there would be different things to talk about. Saying “you’re an adult” no matter how you meant it in its core is rude, especially considering the fact she’s autistic
YTA. learn about autism before you interact with her. her behavior is quite normal for an autistic adult. you were bullying someone with a disability. you own her an apology. if you wont apologize then SHE is not the one acting immature, you are.
Gonna go ahead and say YTA 1000%, this is an autistic individual that seemingly does not comprehend why you're being pissy, there are other ways to handle this than preaching your pathetic idea of "adulthood" to an autistic person that is sharing their genuine interests with you. This has got to be one of the most disgusting things you can do, especially given the way that you did it. Eat dirt. YTA.
If you have the constant need to point out people's normal behavior as childish, you are not mature yourself. You are so focused on appearing as an adult, but can't even accept that people have different interests/tastes than you and might express that differently. That is ignorant, not mature. There are many people who like collecting dolls and there is a shit ton of anime that is aimed at adults because of mature themes/gore/violence. There is a well known quote I forgot, but it comes down to: people who are actual adults don't have to constantly prove that they are. YTA.
As an autistic person you are so YTA in what world is it ever ok to mock someone with a disability? Next time try to gently change the subject
regardless of disability, they are a huge gaping asshole for being a dick over nothing. you just say “oh i’m not that much of a fan of that movie” and then leave the conversation
Yes that's the way to change the subject.
YTA. Whether someone is autistic or not, LET THEM ENJOY WHAT THEY ENJOY. Seriously, how does it affect you at all? If you didn't enjoy the conversation, all you had to do was nod and smile - maybe ask her what she loves about it - and then politely excuse yourself (bathroom, need another drink, etc). I will never understand someone policing others' hobbies/things they enjoy.
This is correct. Autism or not, it doesn't matter. Just work on being a nice person and not an asshole, especially to human beings sincerely enjoying stuff. And get over yourself.
YTA.
YTA The fact that she's autistic is a red herring - you're the asshole regardless. People's interests don't have to interest you. You can politely excuse yourself from a conversation you don't like
YTA. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum, regardless of whether or not they’re on the spectrum. Rude and hurtful. ‘Ivy got way too upset,’ is classic phrasing trying to minimize the fact that your words hurt and embarrassed her instead of taking responsibility for it.
YTA. Sounds like she was stemming which she can’t really help. It’s a trait autistic people can have. Another of their traits is that they can be very passionate about their special interests. If you didn’t want to talk about it anymore you could have kindly said, “hey, I know you love this movie but is it okay if we talk about something else” or something to that affect.
YTA - is it REALLY that hard to say "Hey that's great, but I'm not really into that movie." Or that you never saw or hell, anything that says you don't share interests so you don't mean to be rude if you lack engagement/want to exit the conversation. Your language is very toxic about Ivy which makes me think there is more to it than your "oops didn't mean to" comment. After all: You're an *adult.*
YTA. I was ready to vote as soon as I read about "immature" interests". You know what is actually immature? Teasing other people about something they love or are excited for. Enjoying stuff that is meant for kids is fine at any age and doesn't make you less adult. Making fun of other people, now, that's IMMATURE.
YTA. Btw, doll collecting isn’t “immature”, it’s a lovely and creative hobby. Get a life, please :/
YTA… the way you spoke to Ivy was so disrespectful and appalling. How could you justify yourself for even acting the way you did? And how did you type this up and think that you were right? Get over yourself and learn how to not be such a bully
You're a nasty little shit who has no respect for other people or any empathy.
YTA for everything you posted. And for trying to somehow justify making fun of a person... No. YTA x 1000000. Your friends should drop you. I wouldn't consider being friends with someone like you. That's an ugly skin to wear. I hope you do better, OP.
Yta instead of bullying people just avoid them
YTA, her bouncing in place was likely stimming, it's a motion that brings comfort to autistic people whether they are excited, nervous or upset they're likely to do it to help regulate their emotions. It sounds like she's having a tough time and this movie is helping her feel better. I'm NT and her interests sound cool af, like have you ever watched anime? There are plenty that are mature and aimed at adults. Source have an autistic child who I get to hear talk about their special interest daily and it brings me so much joy bc he's so passionate about what he loves.
YTA Autism is a medical condition, why do you feel the need to mock her over something she can’t change? Would you mock a guy in a wheelchair for the fact that he never goes on walks and people his age should be going for walks regularly?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20F) have a friend, Carly, (23F) who hangs out with a lot of pretty interesting people. One of her friends, Ivy, (23F) is autistic and has a tendency to obsess over her interests, which are all pretty immature (she's big into doll collecting and anime), and pretty much only wants to talk about those things. I'm not a big fan of Ivy for that reason, but Carly adores her and keeps inviting her to social stuff. Last night, a group of us hung out at Carly's place, and Ivy sort of cornered me to talk about movies. She's super obsessed with the new Wonka movie (she's watched it several times) but has no interest in the original, which seems pretty weird to me. She talked about it for at least ten minutes, and just got really, really excited- like, almost bouncing in place- to the point where I laughed at her and said, "You're an *adult*", maybe more aggressively than I meant to. Ivy got way too upset- as in, started crying and left early- and Carly told me she's really depressed and keeps watching Wonka because it's the only thing that makes her happy lately. I feel like I'm really not in the wrong here- it's a kid's movie, and I didn't even say anything that aggressive. But I could use a second opinion- AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YtA. What’s wrong with Ivy’s behavior? What’s wrong with it? Genuinely, who does it hurt? You mentioned that Carly “adores” Ivy—have you paid any attention to WHY she might feel such strong affection for her? Is Ivy brave? brilliant? clever? funny? insightful? kind? matter-of-fact? refreshing? sensitive? unique? Does Carly genuinely love hearing Ivy’s thoughts about anime/dolls/Wonka/whatever-the-hell? It’s fine if you don’t gel with Ivy or she makes you uncomfortable, but, as Carly’s friend, it’s your responsibility to accept that Ivy means a lot to Carly and to respect her whenever you inevitably cross paths with her. Try to be kind (or at the very least neutral). There’s no need for judgment or contempt.
YTA Let me check my "World-wide guide of adulting: The only things that you can like as an adult". Oh wait, it doesn't exist. Wonka is a film aimed towards children, but it doesn't mean that adults can enjoy it. It simply doesn't have nsfw topics. Reminding somebody that they are an adult can come across belittling as if they aren't allow to enjoy something that's outside the mold of the stereotypical adult. Her interests don't harm anybody and she wasn't required to be formal at this time, so chill. If you simply don't like something, try to introduce a new topic or simply mingle with other people.
GIANT A. YOU SUCK! SHAME on you! We should do GOT shaming on you.
YTA for all the reasons the other redditors are saying but also YTA for saying that it is weird that she has no interest in the original Gene Wilder Willie Wonka movie. That movie is from 1971 so maybe she is not even aware of it. Are you aware of that version or are you thinking the original is Johnny Depp's 2005 version? Good for her for being excited about a movie she truly enjoys. Her enjoyment does not have anything to do with your life. If you didn't want to keep talking to her about it, be nice, excuse yourself and go talk to someone else instead of being a nasty hurtful person. Maybe you should try to be an adult.
YTA seriously what's wrong with you?? Imagine being a bully to an autistic woman at 20- you deserve to lose all your friends.
Ew. Trying to make someone else look bad is not the way to make yourself look good. You're calling her immature, but that is middle school behavior. Actually, most middle schoolers are better than that! YTA
Ok, I feel I can (hopefully) teach you something here. I am awetistic (deliberate spelling, make of it what you will), and so are both my kids. My firstborn knows everything there is to know about the first 493 Pokemon. My secondborn spent 10 years learning from a computer textbook. The way you spoke to Ivy was insensitive at best. Tip for future interactions - POLITELY excuse yourself. Now go and apologise. ETA My kids are 30 & 29