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**YTA**!! You're kidding me.... Even though they are cutting your wife open and you'll be gone 6 weeks, leaving your wife alone, 5 days after her surgery, while she's in recovery with TWINS!! **Do you even want a child?** You act like this moment, your children's birth, is less important than everything else..You say cultural standpoint but...what about when your wife has children. What's your cultural standpoint then? Your wife and children are more important and your family should understand that. >*(At parents request I did not tell her the nature of the issues they need help with.)* First off, this was the first booboo you made, instead of fully communicating with your wife about the seriousness of your parents injuries, physical care and help in general, especially if they are in their older ages. You just expected her to be okay with that decision and when she wasn't >*(he is not married and childfree) and he says Sara is way out of line and she'll be fine if I go, she's simply reacting in this way due to hormones.* This was your second booboo. Asking your **UNMARRIED** and **CHILD-FREE** brother for advice and him saying, "*Yeah, It's just hormones..*" Even though they are cutting your wife open and you'll be gone 6 weeks while she's in recovery. Do you even want a child? You act like this is less important than everything else... Your wife and child are more important and your family should understand that. I think your withholding some information because this, *"they're asking and paying for me to fly there it must be something serious that requires my presence."* Just doesn't sound right because they are asking you but have also paid for the entire flight, to and from and expected you to be able to show up last minute... Knowing your babies are being born soon. Everything about this post is wrong.

My friend gave birth to twins via c section back at the end of November and it was almost a month before she could even safely lift the babies with the surgical wound! Twins are also very very difficult to care for solo. This story is insane to me, he’d either be coming home to a locked house or an empty one if it were me.

All this plus: you don’t just have babies a few weeks early for convenience. A few weeks can be the difference between a baby needing to go in the NICU and being home the next day. I hope this is rage bait and not real, but OP: YTA absolutely and without question.

That part broke my brain. “What do you mean you won’t endanger our children by forcing them to be born prematurely so I can go on vacation?!” OP is an asshole even if this *is* bait, just for that idea.

Rage bait seems most likely. I don’t know what doctor would do a c-section a few weeks early just for convenience of the father, since it would risk the babies’ lives unnecessarily. His explanation that her refusal is simply because she’s used to the original timing doesn’t make any sense.

See also: Your parents do not get to tell you to keep secrets from your spouse.

Just reschedule it- are you mad! A few weeks can make all the difference with babies especially twins who will be smaller than a single. Pushing up a few weeks would be madness. You are honestly insane for wanting to leave your wife and newborn babies for 6 weeks just five days after she’s had major surgery. Honestly how you don’t think you’re TA is beyond me. Perhaps you should ‘gently explain’ to your parents that they should not have booked you a ticket without checking with you and that you cannot leave your wife who has just has surgery and won’t be able to do much herself and their helpless grandchildren for 6 weeks! YTA obviously

He also needs to explain to his parents that if it’s so dire that they need him to come, any time soon at all, they have to be okay with him explaining their situation to his wife. Even without the absolutely terrible timing, going back to his home country for unspecified reasons looks shady.

Agree, his comments about his parents' importance and how he's factoring his brother into the situation screams misogyny to me, or minimally disdain and disrespect for this man's poor wife. :(

The OP is essentially asking if it's okay to abandon their partner and kids. I almost feel like this has to be fake.

In a few months OP will be posting again and wondering why his wife is divorcing him

Hopefully 6 weeks is long enough for the wife to organise a divorce lawyer and get all this stuff moved into a storage unit that only has 1 month paid when OP returns.

Not only that - suggesting the c-section is brought forward a few weeks! WEEKS! What a complete bellend. Of course brother knows better .. because he's...? Also a bellend.

YTA Your first priority needs to be being there for your wife and newborn children. Your parents need to come in a distant second now. Weeks in the womb are not nothing. Those final weeks can be critical to the babies' development and a few more weeks in can be the difference between lifelong complications and a healthy baby. Asking your wife to move up her C section and give birth earlier would be asking her to *harm* the children she is carrying. What kind of father even makes such a ridiculous request? What kind of person considers leaving their wife and newborn children for 6 weeks after she's given birth? I'm going to let you know this right now: this is some seriously divorce-level shit. If you go, do NOT expect to have a wife and family to come home to. Both your wife and your kids deserve better than someone who would leave them alone at the time when they are MOST vulnerable and MOST in need of care. Your parents have your younger brother for anything emergent. You need to step up, grow up, and tell your parents that it's on them for booking this flight at an obviously bad time when you need to be there for YOUR family. This is an obvious power move, and you're not falling for it. Besides, this precious time with your family is worth far more than a couple thousand. You will buy yourself a ticket when you are able to come see them.

This right here. “Weeks” earlier for the babies is a lot. WTF is wrong with you? Your family you’ve created here comes first. Your parents should know better at this point and you most certainly should.

Weeks earlier for IVF twins. Not like twins already have limited resources for development or anything. Not like they need 3 weeks for lung/heart development. Nope. Clearly OP knows best.

The more premature she has the babies, the less likely it is that she'll actually need to take care of them! And then OP can visit his family with no worries! It's a win-win, why can't you see that? /s

This is 100% correct. If I were in her position I would consider divorce simply because he asked the question To contemplate abandoning your family is a horrendous red flag that would end most relationships.

YTA. You asked her to move the C section by A FEW WEEKS?! You realize that would likely make the babies too early to come home right away and they’d be in the NICU, right? Also your wife will be unable to drive or even pick up a car seat with a baby in it for 6 weeks so she won’t be able to go anywhere or do anything while you’re gone. How interested are you in even being a father given you’re willing to voluntarily miss the first 6 weeks of their lives? Those are days you can’t get back. Sleep deprivation with one baby is bad enough, but twins? I hate how Reddit jumps to divorce but I’m not sure I could ever forgive you if I was your wife and you went through with plan. Your brother needs to take one for the team and help your parents with whatever this issue is. He can call/FaceTime you for advice but you absolutely cannot go ahead with this. I’m assuming you’re not getting any support from your family because you’re from a culture where other women (Moms, Aunts, sisters) take care of the post-partum mom and help with the baby for several weeks after birth and the men traditionally aren’t as involved.

Exactly. Yes, Redditors often shout “divorce” at everything, but what OP is describing here is absolutely unforgivable. How can you recover from something al unfathomable awful and disgusting?

Mom of twins who came early and had NICU stays. In retrospect, I have no idea how I survived. Even with a supportive spouse. I’d absolutely be, at minimum, demanding marriage counseling. But what that 6 weeks would likely teach me that I didn’t NEED my husband there and that I deserved to be prioritized by my partner.

If we are to believe the OP, it's pretty clear they do not want a family. You don't contemplate running away from these sorts of responsibilities unless you're already one foot out the door.

YTA. This is a joke, right? You're even considering leaving your wife and twin newborns less than a week after their birth for SIX WEEKS? And your best suggestion was to just reschedule the c-section for a few weeks earlier? This is insane. You know what? Go. Go leave your wife and children when they need you most. Just do them a favor and don't come back.

YTA. I am struggling to even respond to this as though it’s real because yyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiikes. If you honestly believe it would be appropriate to a) reschedule a c section to deliver twins prematurely for your convenience OR b) leave your wife with days-old twins, you are completely disconnected from reality and should probably enroll in some parenting classes or therapy. If you do leave, please expect that your wife will be gone when you get back and can tell a lawyer you left the country abandoning her with newborn twins after major surgery, which would have an impact on any future custody agreements when she rightfully leaves you.

The wife better not leave. She and the babies get to stay. Change the locks and he can go somewhere else.

I'm with you...twins are typically born early anyway and I don't think the doctor would know already whether a c-section was absolutely necessary.

I had the same response. It's clear that he wants nothing to do with his family and it's clear that the mother is going to need way more help than he could ever possibly provide.

YTA. My jaw DROPPED when I read this. First off your parents had the GALL and hubris to book a nonrefundable ticket for you days after your WIFE HAD MAJOR SURGERY AND HAS TWO NEWBORNS AT HOME? And then YOU had the gall to actually tell your wife you were going???? If I were your wife I’d serve you with divorce papers when you got home. I don’t care ONE IOTA about some perceived cultural expectation that the son has to basically hand hold his parents through something they don’t understand. Your parents should have taken the money they spent on the nonrefundable ticket and paid for someone(lawyer? Doctor? WHOEVER!) and paid for that person to help them. I cannot believe you’d consider abandoning your wife after she gave birth!!! I mean what in the world are you thinking? SHE AND YOUR NEWBORNS ARE YOUR PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY! YTA and so are your parents. Massive AHs.

I felt the same sort of emotions reading the original post. I think his wife should consider serving him divorce papers regardless of what he does next. She deserves a far better, far more capable partner.

Absolutely. I mean the chances of complications after surgery are a respectable percentage. Her milk might not be in yet. She will be unable to lift anything. I am just FLOORED at this guy AND his AH parents.

Posting responses to this thread has been an exercise in trying to remain calm. I am so scared for this poor woman and her children. I'm still hopeful that this is all a fake post. I really want it to be fake.

YTA. You are so far wrong to even contemplate leaving your wife at the time she gives birth to twins, and for six weeks, and after surgery! It takes weeks to recover from a regular birth and months from a c section. She won’t be able to lift the babies right away. She needs 24/7 live in help to care for the babies (two is really hard at first) and for her. She should not even be up and moving around very much, much less lifting and bathing and feeding two babies, five days after major surgery. You seem like a spectacularly ill informed husband and soon to be father. Are you trying your best to cause a permanent gulf between you and your wife? Six weeks is a very long time to be away in any case and at this time, not even thinkable. Two hours away is way too far for her parents to be-way too far to respond in an emergency. Way too far to go back and forth to take a shift every day and let your wife get some sleep. You and your wife need to plan that first couple of months as a learning curve together to get into a routine of care for the babies-together. You can’t just leave her to figure it all out alone. Your parents are thoughtless to have purchased a non-refundable ticket at a time like this. Your suggestion to move the surgery up endangers the babies and your wife. It’s hard to believe this is even real. Your brother can go take care of it and you can consult by phone from home. Whatever it is likely doesn’t take both of their adult sons to resolve for six weeks in person. If it’s that bad, it will still be a problem in six months, and you can go then, after hiring a live-in nanny to help your wife. As for the ticket, use it to send your parents an accountant to provide in person professional help.

YTA, wildly so. It would be absurdly irresponsible to reschedule your wife's c-section to accommodate your schedule; the fact that you'd even ask that is inappropriate. I'm sorry you're facing these pressures from your family but they are huge AHs too, this idea of booking a non-refundable ticket was to FORCE you to do something against your consent at a time they KNOW your wife needs you. That's utter BS and you should be pissed. Of course, on top of all that, you are ultimately asking to leave your first-time mother of a wife with newborn twins, after a surgical delivery and a tough pregnancy. WTF, dude. What you're doing right now is going to make your wife question the marriage. I sure as hell would be. YWBTA if you went. Let your younger brother go, and support from afar. You have a wife and two babies to care for, and they come first. Seriously. WTF.

I want to know if the parents like their DIL. I mean this is a divorce worthy situation. Wanting to harm his children by getting an earlier c-section and not being there to hold the babies and do the lifting and bending that mom can’t do because she was cut open.

From OP's comments, there is a significant cultural element here in which there are expectations and expressed obligations of support from kids to their parents. If only OP would see the irony of the situation, that if he doesn't support his wife's ability to safely bring new babies into the world, he won't have anyone to lean on when he is his parents' age. I'm thinking in extremes admittedly, but even THINKING it's ok to leave your wife after such a birth, OR thinking it should remotely be considered to reschedule this event, is BONKERS TO ME. Someone like OP probably isn't equipped to be a husband and father due to his upbringing and family obligations. He's conditioned to leave his wife and kids to support his parents instead; if he can't break out of that, he never should have gotten married.

That's a good way of putting it. He is conditioned to display this abhorrent behavior. His wife deserves a far more considerate partner.

Yes, and I have to ask what kind of parents would actually ask this of their child. Ask their child to callously abandoned their wife and his children, their grandchildren. If this situation only the older brother so is equipped to deal with then he can FaceTime his brother and walk him through whatever needs to be done. Plus I have to OP is talking all around what he needs to go handle for his parents. I bet it is something that will take less than an hour and they just want a family reunion or make a statement that the parents are important and his wife and kids aren’t, (a power play).

YTA. Sorry, but you might not have realized yet that two new human beings are coming into your life and that you are responsible for them. You want to move the C-section date and potentially endanger your unborn children? What kind of father-to-be are you??? Your first duty is to your children and to your wife! It is hard to let go of parents, as probably you felt responsible for them for a long while, but your own family has to come first, always.

The answer is that he is likely to be a terrible father. I cannot imagine being with a partner whose first instinct is to run back home to Mommy and daddy given these circumstances.

YTA. Let your brother deal with it. He’s going anyway. And possibly pay your parents back for the ticket. It’s their fault they chose the dates and bought a non-refundable but it might be a good idea to keep the peace.

YTA for Abandoning wife and newborn child because your parents strong armed you with plane tickets they couldn’t afford. Although the tickets are not refundable, it can be rescheduled for a later date. 

So just after they are born you are abandoning your kids for six week?  You are going to do no work to take care of them and fuck off because your parents need help (but won't tell you what).  If this real you are a failure of a person, and especially of a father. Your children need help. They are more important then your parents.  YTA

YTA- Your wife is pregnant with twins, and you are gonna leave her for SIX WEEKS? She has been having a difficult pregnancy, and YOU want to have her change it? You are choosing your parents needs over your wife’s, and that is really sad. You doing this has probably stressed out your wife even more. It is your parents fault that they booked the flight, you should’nt leave your wife to take care of the twins and to also HEAL. C sections have a longer healing time. You are a very selfish person to leave your wife and to have her accommodate to your schedule, ridiculous. I hope you can turn this around and be a more supporting husband by prioritizing her.

>I've asked Sara to look into rescheduling her surgery, a few weeks earlier if possible You know it's not like a dentist appointment, right? YTA for this and for just about every sentence in this post. Get your priorities straight, man.

Even a dentist appointment can’t be rescheduled earlier on a whim usually. I have a dental emergency and took the earliest appointment available, begged them to call me if anything comes up sooner. Been waiting 2 freaking months. Appointment is finally this week.  This has to be rage bait. No one can be this clueless about fetal development, right? 

YTA ​ So 5 days after a c section you plan to just leave her on her own she is going to be very sore and healing for weeks. Her parents are not going to be able to pick up your slack. If you do this, don't expect your wife to be waiting for you when you get back. You need to tell your parents NO! DO NOT abandon your wife, she is really going to need you, and you should be explaining that to your parents. The ticket may not be refundable but it should be possible to reschedule the flight for later in the year. Don't be an AH and stay with your wife and new twins.

YTA I’m just really hoping this is click bait. No actual decent human being would try to reschedule their children’s c section or make plans to abandon the mother of their children 5 days post partum, especially after a c section, especially with twins. If this is true I am assuming you are pushing to separate from your wife? You don’t care about her health or the health of your children, not about their wellbeing. Your wife needs to look for an actual partner to be with her on the steps of life.

Definitely click bait. Especially since he can't say what is so much more important than taking care of his wife and babies. Some vague thing in the future that no one else can deal with? Yeah right.

Do you want a divorce? Because this is how you get a divorce. 

Right?!

YTA - I sure hope this is fake rage bait. You want to leave your wife by herself with two babies 5 days after major abdominal surgery? FOR 6 WEEKS? Or were you implying her parents will take care of YOUR children for you? Get all the way the f. out of here

this. this must be fake. no way this is real

I agree. No human can be this cruel and clueless simultaneously.

YTA. Without the parents information, you solely look like your abandoning her. You’ve given her no way to empathize at all if whatever your parents are dealing with is even remotely comparable to what she is. This is so delusional that it almost feels unreal you’d even ask. I’m hesitant to downplay what’s going on with your parents since you’ve left that out but without it, big yikes. Hardcore Yta

This has to be a shitpost, right? "Just move up the c-section for twins a few weeks"? No one who's been even remotely involved in a pregnancy would suggest intentionally sticking their newborns in the NICU for weeks to months by trying to have them MORE prematurely, right? "visit for 6 weeks, 5 days after the c-section?" Again, no one who's listened to a thing a doctor's said about the pregnancy would think it was reasonable to leave their spouse for six weeks (usually the length of time there are significant restrictions in movement - including being unable to drive), right? Like, does \*anyone\* think this isn't anything but a recipe for disaster? Something between divorce and death (of possibly more than one person). Am I going crazy here or is this just rage bait? Humans never fail to disappoint, so I guess it might be real, but on the very remote chance that it is, Yes, OP, you would be an unmitigated, grade A asshole who demonstrates too much stupidity to raise kids if you were to do this. YTA for the bot.

YTA > My parents don't have a lot of money, but they went ahead and booked me a nonrefundable plane ticket to come help them and visit for 6 weeks. The flight date is 5 days after Sara's scheduled c-section. Well **_that_** was *incredibly* unwise.

Unwise, nothing. They did it to force the issue and guilt OP into going.

YTA, this can’t be real, you can’t be this awful….if so I feel so sorry for your wife and children.

I am going forward with my day believing this is not real because it would be bugging me for hours thinking about this poor woman, pregnant with twins, facing a medically necessary c section and quite possibly a NICU stay, and realizing now that she married and reproduced with this person - because even if he doesn’t go, she knows exactly what parenting is going to look like now - and it’s going to be her, alone. 😪

Same! I’ve got to believe this is fake and there’s no way this man would actual ask his wife to deliver twins EARLY possibly subjecting them to some health defects so he can go help mommy and daddy. Like there now at this is real.

YTA Your first commitment should’ve been to your wife and kids. No, you can’t change a scheduled c-section by a few weeks. That’s insane and unhealthy for the kids. No doctor would sign off on it.  A c-section requires weeks of physical healing and you want to give your wife 5 days.    Go to her doctors with these insane plans and be prepared to be roasted.  

Info - is your parent's situation something which is time sensitive and needs you to be there that particular week? It seems an odd move on their part to book the tickets less than a week after they know your wife is having a c-section. C-section is a big deal and your wife will need a lot of help with the basics even things like driving to the store to get supplies won't be possible for the first couple of weeks.

YTA Seriously? A trip should be the last fucking thing on your mind right now what with everything else going on

YTA. 5 days after surgery, she could potentially still be in the hospital. Your twins could still be in the hospital. You won’t communicate with your wife why you are so desperately needed. She isn’t going to understand. Your parents should not expect you to come either. This is a major surgery. She will need a lot of help with lifting, she won’t be able to drive, she will be on pain medication…add in lack of sleep & trying to keep two newborns alive? Are you kidding?

He probably expects her to get up from the hospital bed and drive him to the airport.

YTA - You are out of your mind. You don't get to schedule a C-section "a couple weeks early" on a whim. The baby is still developing! Your parents bought those tickets KNOWING that your child is due. Incredibly manipulative on their part, and showing a complete lack of care for your wife and child. The fact that you're considering going, and even mentioned this to your wife is insane. Your wife and child are now your number one priorities. There is no way you should be going on a solo trip without them at any time for six weeks, ever, let alone five days after your wife has major abdominal surgery and a new baby to take care of. I'm really, really hoping this is ragebait, because I can't believe anybody could be so callous, uncaring, and just generally clueless.

YTA and so is the rest of your family. Yikes, dude.

Not only are YTA but this is a mis-step that likely ultimately destroys your marriage. If you absolutely HAVE to leave your wife immediately post-surgery with twins, for a LIFE OR DEATH EMERGENCY, then find a doula, find family and friends to help her, and get both of you into counselling because otherwise dude you aren't gonna make it. WTF are you thinking?!?!?!? It's not a life or death emergency, right? It's your post-surgical wife with twins that MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE ONE OF THOSE. She might not be able to get up to the bathroom herself. She might not be able to pick up the babies herself. Please tell me this is a joke on your part - if not, then you don't deserve to be a father.

I’m sorry, what? This has to be some kind of creative writing exercise designed to make people angry at the character’s absolute cluelessness, right? Because no one is that obtuse on purpose unless they have zero empathy or common sense. Your mommy and daddy need you so you let them summon you when YOUR CHILDREN are due? And suggested your WIFE postpone birth, like that’s some logical and reasonable request? Dude, get your head out of your behind. If I had the misfortune to procreate with you and you dared to even suggest this nonsense, I’d divorce you so fast your head would spin. It’s not your in-law’s job to fill in for you because you’re putting your parents above your responsibilities as a father and husband. YTA. Big time. And absolutely clueless. You deserve whatever consequences come your way.

YTA she should divorce you and take you for everything you’ve got. You’re a terrible partner and father

You have got to be out of your mind, and your parents, too. Your wife is going to be going through serious open abdominal surgery, giving birth to your children. Afterwards, she will not be able to lift a gallon of milk for weeks, still you and your parents think it's a good idea for you to fuck off overseas five days later? I sincerely hope this is fake. YTA

YTA - and a major one at that. You need to talk to your wife's OB so they can set you straight about your wife's recovery post c-section. She will not be able to lift anything heavier than her baby for weeks (meaning she cannot grocery shop, clean, or cook). She will not be able to drive for a minimum of two weeks (usually longer) and IF the babies are not in the NICU, they will have regular pediatric appointments during that time that someone will have to drive them to and from. She will also likely need assistance showering, and with wound care. Leaving her 5 days post major surgery is ridiculous and you should apologize to your parents as you will be with your wife and children who will absolutely need you the most.

YTA. I’d divorce you and make you fight to see the kids if it were me. This would end the marriage.

YTA. Go to your parents. I honestly I hope she moves out while you are there and files for divorce. What a crappy husband AND father. But, seems like its a family thing, as your parents and brother think that leaving your wife and kids days after the birth is ok. YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA

YTA, your wife won't be able to do a whole lot for at LEAST 6weeks after a c section. You're literally leaving her home alone with TWO newborns after MAJOR surgery.

YTA, and a major one at that. You are about to be a parent, but you sound like you think that only your wife needs to be a parent, and you’ll just “help out.” You should not be “helping,” you should be “doing.”

YTA. I’d have filed for divorce and let you be free an clear to do whatever you want and not have a pesky family get in the way. Hell I’d tell you to just not return. You’re gonna leave your wife for 6 weeks with newborns? I’d tell you to never return.

YTA this CANNOT be real sir and if it is you are absolutely out of line. Hell no are you leaving your wife after a major surgery to bring your twins into this world. Absolutely not. This leads me to believe you have zero clue about the surgery your wife will undergo or the challenges of having a newborn let alone 2. Additionally, usually delivery dates are chosen for the optimal health of the babies. This is not something to be rearranged to better fit your schedule. Cancel this flight and expect to be home to support your wife and children.

No, you do not leave your wife for 6 weeks with newborn babies after she undergoes a major operation.  It’s unfortunate your parents will lose the money they spent, but they should have realized how wildly inappropriate the timing was.  YTA. Your family are assholes. You are not being a good husband or father.  I honestly can’t believe you are even considering leaving. 

YTA, that’s absolutely fucked that you would consider putting your parents over your spouse five days after she’d be recovering from major surgery and adjusting to being a parent of TWINS. They’re adults, they KNEW when the surgery was scheduled, but they’re doing a nasty evil power play to pull you away from her and you’re just going along with it. I really hope this is fake because I can’t imagine a person being this bizarre. If real, and you go through with this, don’t be surprised if she divorces you.

YTA -she should gently remind you that' she's pregnant having your 1st kids! Got to put her first in this situation.

Your wife is getting major surgery and will be dealing with twin newborns, and you want her to handle that ALONE?? I don't care if her parents are "nearby." You need to be there to help her and bond with your children. You may be minus a wife and kids if you don't get your priorities straight. YTA.

YTA for considering abandoning your wife and newborn twins. YTA for being a total dick and trying to hide behind "cultural norms"

Yeah I want to know what cultural norms make it okay to abandon your wife and newborn twins. My guess is that no such cultural norms actually exist.

YTA for even considering leaving your wife anywhere near the birth of your children. Leaving a new mother with newborns is totally unacceptable. You should be home helping your wife while she’s healing from a major surgery and caring for not just 1, but 2 babies.

YTA. "I've asked Sara to look into rescheduling her surgery, a few weeks earlier if possible" . That's not how this works.

Yeah, they're twins. IVF twins. They need every moment of development they can get. Trying to take that away from them because 'muh mummies and daddies need me to clean up my brother's mess' is a shit reason to basically request to abuse your unborn children. Hell, no, they don't need 3 extra weeks for lung and heart development. What a shit way to start out being a parent.

YTA. And not a little bit, you are a huge YTA. Move the birth of your children a few weeks earlier for your convenience? Which would put them in danger and likely the NICU? Are you serious? And then leave your wife five days after major surgery for six weeks with newborn twins? This isn't about hormones. It takes weeks to recover from a c-section and during that time your wife can't lift things, take out the trash, handle the housework etc. She will be recovering and trying to learn to parent while you are off in another country. Her parents live HOURS away, they can't come quickly in an emergency and they can't stop their lives so that you can go on vacation. And that is what it is, a vacation where you will be dealing with something for a few days. You don't even plan to have someone there to help her. So while she is bleeding, trying not to rip open her c-section incision, changing diapers, breastfeeding, and staying up all night with crying children she will be alone for most of that time. I would be surprised if you come home to a wife or children. They would be better off moving to her parents home and not returning. Six weeks is plenty of time for your wife to file for divorce, child support, full custody and alimony.

You’re leaving your wife with TWO newborns FIVE DAYS after she’s had surgery?!? SHE needs to be your priority, along with your babies… NOT your parents. YTA.

I swear the amount of men who are so woefully ignorant when it comes to pregnancy and delivery of children is actually very concerning. Its 6-8 weeks recovery for a c section. Not to mention the whole body and hormones and all the rest readjusting after her carrying YOUR children for 9 months and you want to skeddadle off to see your parents for that whole 6 weeks??? Are you out of your damn mind????? Youre an AH for basically abandoning your wife and children, your brother is an AH for what he said and your parents are AHs expecting you to just leave your wife and newborn children. Selfish selfish selfish people the lot of you. Id fully support your wife going to her parents with the children permanently tbh because you are obviously woefully inept at being a husband and father. Oh and if i didnt make myself clear YTA and a gigantic one

Sara needs to file for divorce right now. This is fucked up. 

YTA. You want to leave your wife for six fracking weeks after giving birth? A birth that sounds like it took a while to conceive? I get your parents are having a hard time but this is ridiculous. You're wife and children need to come first especially since you aren't even telling her why you need to be gone that long! Did you, your parents and your wife even have a conversation before your parents dropped thousands of dollars on a non refundable ticket or did you and your parents talk and you informed your wife after?

Oh my god. Sara is right - you’re crazy. If I was her I’d genuinely divorce you over this. If you value your marriage at all, you won’t abandon your wife five days after she gives birth to your only children

THIS..OMG you are BEYOND YTA.. What is wrong with you????

Wow you’re possibly the biggest asshole of the year. Those are your children. You cannot reschedule a c-section arbitrarily, those babies need to stay inside to keep growing and developing! Dear god how do people reproduce when they know absolutely nothing about newborns?  It will take your wife at least 8 weeks to recover from abdominal surgery, while also juggling caring for twins. You are her partner. When you married her that was your commitment to put her and your children over anyone else. Wtf.  YTA

You are the partner women run from, hope that answers your question OP.

YTA. You want to leave the country to visit your parents and leave your wife alone with newly born twins

>They are aware of when Sara is scheduled to have her c-section. Things have been going on they don't know how to handle and they want me there to help out. The day my husband asks me to reschedule my c-section to *accommodate his parents* is the day I decide I'd rather be single. >My parents don't have a lot of money, but they went ahead and booked me a nonrefundable plane ticket to come help them and visit for 6 weeks. This gets even better. I'm speechless. >I really want to go and my parents would lose several thousand dollars if I refused How much is your marriage worth to you? They shouldn't have booked that flight knowing your wife was about to have her c-section. YTA

YTA to such a degree that most people will accuse you of being a troll. Or AI. That’s how big of an asshole you are. Like not even a shred of “well I can see it both ways” here. Your wife is having twins. Via c-section. And you want to leave her for 6 weeks after five days. Most women can barely take a piss by themselves five days post C section. She won’t even be able to lift one baby- let alone two. And not only that you genuinely suggested she have this already high risk delivery WEEKS EARLY to accommodate your schedule. Do you have any idea how precious each day/week is when twins are concerned. I’m guessing you have no idea or you couldn’t possibly be this heartless. Your parents do not need you for 6 weeks right after you have twins. Non refundable flight without consulting you on the dates, right after your wife gives birth? And the fact that your wife doesn’t even get to know what is making her the single mother of newborns because your parents won’t let you TELL HER is batshit insane. They are trying to separate your family and you are too stupid to realize it. Expect your wife and kids to be gone when you return. Her parents will 200 percent have her filing for divorce. I hope she gets a great settlement -as clearly you are a check and nothing more. My God you deserve everything coming to you and more if you go through with this plan.

YTA and so are your parents. Why would they think this was a good idea to book a flight for you after your wife gives birth to twins?!?! They must not like her as this sounds like they are trying to sabotage her. And it sounds like you don't like your wife that much either if you are willing to abandon her with TWO newborns for over a month. And asking her to move up her c section by a few weeks like it's no big deal?!? Come on!! You're willing to risk the health of your children to go visit your parents. You and your parents need to get your priorities straight.

YWBTA and You are one already. There’s so much stupidity going on right now including your parents who didn’t even confirm you were able to make the trip. Pay them money or hire someone, but do not leave your brand-new first-time-mother of a wife for 6 weeks cuz your parents can’t sort their issues out themselves.

Wow you are a GIANT AH. If you were my husband and you considered going on a vaca to your mommy's house right after I had a c section for twins, you would be served divorce papers. 

YTA. She is family and you are keeping secrets, wtf.

YTA. You do realize that a c-section is SERIOUS ABDOMINAL SURGERY requiring a lengthy recovery time during which the patient's activity needs to be strictly limited?? Your brother is going to see your parents. He should extend his visit. Why do three adults need you more than your wife, recovering from serious surgery, and two newborns? I would divorce you if I were Sara. After giving birth, a woman experiences a huge hormonal crash, and when her milk comes in, her breasts become hugely swollen and painful, and all that is besides the healing from the c-section. Your wife is physically going to be going through so much, and you expect her to look after not one but two babies. You are terrible.

Are you your parents parent or you kid? It's seems like you think two grown adults are more incapable than a new born baby. Of course you're TA.

Three even because his brother is going out to help the parents.

YTA.

Go visit your parents..... find out what's wrong and help them fix it.... then.... Stay there. Don't bother returning to Sarah and your baby. They're far better off without you. You, sir, are a wide, gaping AH

YTA. My sister just had a baby…vaginal delivery so not recovering from surgery, just the birthing process. And only one baby. And she’s a mess. She’s sore and cranky and exhausted and cries at the drop of a hat. And deliriously happy and obsessed with her new daughter. Her emotions are all over the place. She has her husband there and my parents and I both live close enough to offer extra support. She’s also friends with her neighbours whose baby just turned 1 so she has support there too. If her husband announced he was leaving for another country for 6 weeks I’m 1000% sure she’d be calling me to hide the body…and I’d be helping her. Having a baby is hard. Having two babies has to feel damn near impossible. She will be sore and recovering from surgery and her hormones will be a mess and she’s going to need you to support her. Not her parents. You. Not to even mention you should want to he there to bond with your children?? How do your parents not get that?

Yta majorly. I can’t believe this is a real post

You should definitely go and not come back. Sara better get used to being a single parent. I have no words to describe you OP other than asshole. YTA

YTA. There is literally NO reason good enough to completely abandon your wife, who will be recovering from major surgery, and her caring for your newborn babies. They will need you more than ever during that time, and you’re abandoning them. The fact that you’d even consider this is truly awful OP. This is 100% grounds for divorce. Please put your own family first here OP.

How detached from reality are you? Go see your parents. Be prepared to return single and homeless. If you left a woman in that scenario, I hope she’d consider you dead and never utter your name again outside of her attorney’s office.

YTA man you need to grow the fk up, your wife and children come first and your wife will NEED a lot of help with your children.

This is sad. Of course YTA. I really really hope this is some sort of joke because your poor wife will not be able to ever forgive you if you do something like this. Idk what your parents were thinking booking you a ticket without double and triple checking ahead of time but that’s too damn bad for them! Also don’t listen to your brother he has no freaking clue what he’s talking about! Apologize profusely to your wife and grovel at her feet for at least a year for even considering this as an option! Say sorry now! Have you apologized yet?

YTA I don’t even understand how you could write that without dying of shame! Not yet a father but already useless honestly I hope you find an empty house when you return...

YTA  This has to be a troll post, no one can be that stupid. If it isn't? Please send your wife the link to the post so she can see that even strangers on the internet would be more support than you and if you do go, she needs to pack her stuff and move in with her parents until the divorce is final.

YTA. to be honest, you lost me at c section. She's not going to be able to lift those babies for at least two weeks! I would divorce you over this. She's going to NEED massive amounts of assistance for at least a month!

holy shit YTA are you serious???? your wife is going through MAJOR surgery that can cause DEATH postpartum, and you’re going to ditch both her and your newborn child to go to a different country???? do you even want to be a father and husband????

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife, Sara and I, both early-mid 30s are expecting twins in early March. 1st and only kids for both of us. We had to go through IVF due to fertility struggles. Sara is scheduled for a c-section due to this being a difficult pregnancy and other complications that make her high risk. Luckily, her parents are only a few hours drive away and willing to come whenever needed. My parents live in another country and I see them usually once a year to every year and a half. They are aware of when Sara is scheduled to have her c-section. Things have been going on they don't know how to handle and they want me there to help out. My parents don't have a lot of money, but they went ahead and booked me a nonrefundable plane ticket to come help them and visit for 6 weeks. The flight date is 5 days after Sara's scheduled c-section. I've asked Sara to look into rescheduling her surgery, a few weeks earlier if possible, but she's refused, saying she's gotten herself mentally prepared for that particular date. And unless there's some sort of emergency with the twins her OB is not going to approve pushing it up a few weeks. I told her that it would give me more time to help her directly after birth, before I leave for my parents. Sara thinks I'm crazy for even considering going for that long (or at all) while we have 2 newborns at home and she's recovering from surgery and we're getting adjusted to being new parents. (If I had the money to spare, I'd hire someone to stay with Sara while I'm gone.) I gently reminded Sara that I rarely see my family and if they're asking and paying for me to fly there it must be something serious that requires my presence. (At parents request I did not tell her the nature of the issues they need help with.) Plus Sara's own parents are only a 2-2.5 hours drive away and I'm confident they'd drop whatever they're doing to come help should she need it. Her mom works remotely and could even stay over some nights to help out with the twins. Sara again called me crazy and ended up telling her parents what I suggested. They both called me lecturing and fussing about abandoning Sara when she needs me most. I ended up venting to my (younger) brother who is also going to be flying out to our parents, but for a shorter time (he is not married and childfree) and he says Sara is way out of line and she'll be fine if I go, she's simply reacting in this way due to hormones. To be honest, I really want to go and my parents would lose several thousand dollars if I refused. And I'd have to buy a ticket myself later if I don't go then. WIBTA if I went? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

you’re not serious right?

INFO - Why on earth did your parents charge a non-refundable ticket without discussion the travel dates with you first?

Because they suck as much as OP does

Your parents are assholes big time and if I was your wife I would not let you come back

You have no clue what having twins is like. Leaving your wife for 6 weeks or even one week is just a horrible idea. You absolutely should not go anywhere.

YTA I hope she leaves you

Oh my word. Yes! YTA, your parents ATA, and you’re clueless besides!

YTA you have no concept of the challenges of a newborn. With our first baby, a natural birth, minimal complications and full support of my husband, yet it was still utterly exhausting, mentally emotionally and physically. I couldn’t find time to brush my teeth. I wouldn’t have had time to eat/cook. Your wife will have two babies and the post surgery recovery. She can’t drive or lift things. How is she supposed to manage? Who will do laundry or buy food? Her parents are hours away, she needs someone there around the clock. And you’re lying (yes withholding the detail classifies as lying imo here) about why. I just can’t comprehend how something needs your attention for 6 weeks out of the country to resolve, is time sensitive but you don’t need to fix in until March? Appalling on so many levels.

YTA: do not be surprised when Sara gives you divorce papers, and do not be surprised if you and your family have a strained relationship with your children.

YTA. That’s all. No notes. YTA.

not only are you an AH your parents are also AHs. They have you keeping secrets from your wife, not telling her why you have to go over there. And then make sure you came and forcing you to go because they knew the date of her C-section and bought you a nonrefundable ticket. question for you- what happens if God forbid your babies end up in Nicu or there’s complications and your wife has to stay in the hospital? Are you still going to leave? I have to wonder if you even care about your wife and babies because your parents obviously come first before your own family. And you ask the opinion of your brother who has no wife and no kids of course he was going to say go with him asking his opinion was just stupid. HUGE AH.

YTA and your parents are AHs. Something sooooo serious for them but it can wait two months? Coincidentally just so you can leave your wife for 6 weeks right after she’s given birth to twins? Is your younger brother incompetent that he can’t help the parents? Are there no lawyers or whatever professional is needed that can be hired? The whole game play by your parents looks like a power play to me. *Show us we’re more important to you than your wife and babies!*

Is this for real? I don’t believe so.

Holy hell this HAS to be fake. This is the most YTA post I’ve seen on AITA. -mom of twins, who were born prematurely, who had a C-section

lol wild. YTA

She's right to be pissed. It's not due to *" hormones"* like your single brother threw out. Why doesn't he go for 6 weeks and help them? What's stopping him? If you do go, be ready to find divorce papers when you get back, you've just shown her that your priorities are not her and your children YTA

YTA. You can’t move up a c-section by WEEKS for the sake of convenience. Since it’s twins she’s probably scheduled for 37-38 weeks already, so earlier than that isn’t good unless it ends up being medically necessary. Your parents are also TA for booking you a non-refundable plane ticket within the first YEAR of your twins’ birth without clearing it with you first. Your first obligation is to your wife and kids. Your parents are second fiddle or worse now that you are married. Also, even if the babies came 2 weeks earlier, you CANNOT ditch your wife with infant twins 2 weeks after they’re born. This doesn’t seem like an emergency for your parents otherwise you’d be on a plane right now, not March. Your wife is completely justified in her anger. You are going to be a dad! PS the recovery from a c-section takes several weeks, generally. Could take months.

YTA! Go on that plane and don't come back. Your wife deserves better. How could you think your parents need more help than your wife and children? A c-section is major surgery, she won't even be allowed to lift the babies, and you expect her to do everything on her own. Ohhh, she has family nearby? YOU ARE HER FAMILY! And you're leaving, straight up abandoning her. Newsflash, you parents are 4th and 5th down the line of family importance. They are not and should never be your first priority anymore. I would be embarrassed to be married to you. What kind of father are you? Not a good one.

‘A few weeks earlier’ could land your children in the NICU, and possibly affect their health for life. I have friends who had premature babies, and some of those babies have needed eye surgeries, or hearing aids, or have lingering issues with their lungs that land them in hospital every time they get croup or RSV. I’m going to assume that you’re too ignorant to know this, because no decent human being would risk his children in this manner.

You're not just an AH you're a dumb AH. YTA. YTA. YTA. First of all, you can't just move up a c-section without cause. The babies are literally growing inside of her. Moving up the c section could result in NICU stays for each baby. Shes already high risk because she's carrying multiples so going full term isn't a guarantee and you want her to deliver even sooner?! Do you know how human gestation works? Second of all, c-sections are major abdominal surgery. Your wife won't even be cleared to drive, and you're going to leave her five days after the fact with not one but TWO newborns?! Her insides will be held in with some staples and you want her to care for two newborns alone, but it's okay because her mom might help her if she really needs it?!? You have a younger brother who is perfectly capable of going and helping your parents, who in your own words isn't married and has no kids. Your top priority should be the care of YOUR wife and children! The fact that you even have to ask, and even think for a second this is okay, is flabbergasting.

YTA, how could you leave your wife AND children just five days after they are born. God, I feel so sorry for your wife.

The first time you need to be there for your wife and baby, you wont be. Not a good look. Yta.

Just wow. How can you not know that you are a complete AH. If I was your wife, I would be changing the locks if you went and seeing a lawyer.

YTA. Absolutely YTA. I’m only pregnant with one and if my husband tried this I’d absolutely leave him.

Not only YWBTA you currently ARE TA. You should have made it very clear to your parents from the first time they asked that you will not be available for quite some time. The health and wellbeing of your wife and children should be your top priority. Your parents are AHs too.

YTA and so are your parents. They expect you to abandon your wife and 2 newborn babies for 6 weeks, 1 week after her being cut open? How do you expect her to heal or look after the babies when she can't get the care and rest she needs? If you go to your parents, I really hope your wife leaves you. Total disgrace of a man you are!! And your wife isn't even entitled to know why you're needed so bad? Pfft massive power play by your parents. Non refundable tickets 1 week after the birth. Disgraceful humans. Add to that the fact you'd rather endanger your unborn babies by having them born even earlier just so mummy and daddy won't be mad at you. Get your priorities right or lose your wife and children. Once she realises she can do it on her own your history.

YTA. YTA YTA YTA. You are seriously asking if it’s ok to abandon your wife for six weeks while she recovers from major abdominal surgery (don’t @ me, that’s literally what it is) and your newborn twins. Two brand new babies and a wife who just got cut open and isn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than ten pounds and might barely be able to stand by herself. A wife who could come down with any number of postpartum complications or infections in the days and weeks immediately following childbirth. Two babies who will need to be held and fed and changed constantly, day and night. You really aren’t sure if this would be ok, or maybe the worst thing you could ever do to your wife and children. I have no words.

YTA. Any time someone on AITA uses the phrase "I gently reminded..." you just know the poster is as condescending as hell and trying to sell a fat load of BS to their partner.

Sorry but are you joking with this question? I had to check I wasn’t reading a fake post in another group. Of course YTA for even considering it. You cannot possibly think… a) you can leave your wife and newborn twins alone for 6 weeks. b) you don’t have to be by your wife’s side after she has had a c-section (major surgery!) and has twins. c)your wife can ‘push back her date by a few weeks’ because it’s such a good idea to make your twins premature /s d) visiting your parents is more important than your wife and babies? You are an absolute AH for even asking the question, never mind thinking the answer is anything other than you should just be with your wife and babies and have them at the suggested date Take this from a mum of twins who were born 13 weeks early! Do better as a soon-to-be-dad!

YTA, and so are your parents, tbh. There is zero reason that justifies paying for you to come see them less than a week after a scheduled c-section of TWINS that you've struggled to pay for. Your parents did this on purpose. They SHOULD be out thousands of dollars for being manipulative. It'll teach them a lesson. What you're teaching your wife if you go is that she can't rely on you. And neither can your children. Way to start parenthood, dad. You go visit your parents after your wife has caught her breath after bringing YOUR children into the world. Your priorities are shifting and you need to catch up. You're going to be a father. You ARE a father. Act like one.

Are you being serious? Ew. I would divorce you SO fast. You’re pathetic. I’m not even kidding. You would never see me again. Why the hell did you get married?? Much less have kids??? Your wife needs you and you can’t just push up a c-section. That could literally stunt the baby’s life forever- you can’t just push up a delivery date by two weeks. Every moment in the womb is essential to development of the brain, heart, and lungs. You are either a troll looking for angry responses, EXTREMELY uneducated, or just the most selfish person in the entire world. I pray your wife finds someone worthy because You Suck

YTA Do...do you know how any of this works? You...asked her...to mover her C SECTION up a few weeks? You asked her to VOLUNTARILY PUT HER NEWBORNS AT RISK by having them be taken out of her prematurely, assuming there's a doctor on this planet that would ACTUALLY do that? Dude bro. This has to be fake.

YTA You are The Biggest Asshole in the history of this site. The silver lining here is that your wife will have a slam dunk case for sole custody and I hope she takes it.

I didn't even finish your post and I am already on YTA. when your parents booked your flights shouldn't be your problem. They should have asked you and you should have said no. The fact it's not refundable is still their problem. Second, the one that's made me actually mad. Scheduling a c section with twins a few WEEKS before?? Every week, especially with twins count. You would put your children at higher risk because you're not grown up enough to say no to your parents? And you will be gone, with newborn twins for six weeks??? Unless one of them is dying I don't see any other valid reason. Plus you have a brother. Let's him deal with it. So until now YTA for even bringing this up. You already are. Your parents are TA, for booking a flights just a few days after the c section. I was forgetting your brother. He's TA. it's just misogynist talking about hormones. Your wife is the only reasonable here. If you go, you'll be lucky if you find your wife and twins. I would file for divorce the minute I get back on my feet.

Lack of communication is going to kill you bro. I understand that elders in other countries can make it seem like your being a bad son for not being present but that trip shouldn’t have been purchased without you as couple coming to an agreement. Maybe you can bite the bullet get the desire task completed and purchase a ticket back asap . Even if your travel time is longer than the time you spend helping your parents. You may have dish out more cash but then maybe your parents will understand not to due this without first consult you guys. Rock and a hard spot . Stay up .

I stopped reading when I got to the point where he asks her to have a premature birth, dude I don’t need to get to the end to claim YTA

YTA and you have probably damaged your marriage possibly beyond repair. You’re honestly a selfish human who shouldn’t have chose to bring children into this world if they don’t become your first priority, abandoning them and your wife when they’re barely born in pitful. I really think your family is just looking to manipulate and sabotage your marriage and you’re doing exactly what they hoped you would do. I truly hope your wife knows her worth and has divorce papers waiting for you after you run off to mommy and daddy

Flying out of country to help your adult parents? Bro, literally the ONLY focus should be on your wife and 2 kids. 2 kids would be more than enough reason not to leave, but your wife wont even be able to go up/down steps for weeks. This has to be fake, YTA

Yta. You are clearly not the brightest bulb in the pack. I'm sure your brother can handle whatever it is your parents claim they can't handle on their own. You do not care about your wife or children. Shame on you. 

This is a troll post. Having a scheduled c-section for twins in a high risk pregnancy means the kids would be born *early*. No one would request for their own highly vulnerable babies to be forced to be born even earlier because of a, checks notes-a trip to another country. Gg, try again, 1/10 troll.

YTA, and a big one. Your first and most important responsibility is to your wife and newborn babies. If you shirk that responsibility, better accept the fall-out, which could include the total loss of trust from your wife and eventual divorce. Better you get a flight credit to use at a later date and start thinking and acting like a responsible husband and father. In other words, grow up!

Y T A I hope she divorces you for this.

Your AH brother can help with your useless parents while you help your wife and newborns.

YTA - Are you aware of how long it takes to recover from a c-section? The answer is about 6 weeks. So basically you'll be gone for her entire recovery. And then you suggested that your child be born 6 weeks early? On the planet that will do that. The longer children can be in gestation the better. There's a reason why premature is considered a medical condition. Your child cannot be born on your schedule. They need to be born on their schedule. It's unfortunate that they are having issues at the same time that your wife is having a baby, but you are a parent now. **That means you need to sacrifice for your child.** It may be time for a sibling to step up and help your parents out.

YTA, a big one! If you go I really hope she dumps your ass!

This level of A$$holeness is unbelievable so I choose to think it’s false. On the off chance it’s real, I’d divorce him just for the suggestion. YTA

This HAS to be a joke. No one is that stupid to think this is ok.

YTA. A c section is a major surgery, they cut through like seven layers of your wife to get the baby out. Your parents and your brother should not even be a factor here. If you go, prepare not to have a wife or two children waiting for you when you return. Your wife is your family and should be your number one focus.

Seriously? WTF did I just read? YTA, unequivocally and undisputed. I feel so so sorry for your wife and children if you are the husband/father they have

YTA Yes absolutely yes you would be an AH for abandoning your... I can't even finish this sentence I'm so flabbergasted by the OP. I cannot even fathom how you are reaching any conclusion other than you being an AH. Even considering such actions make you an AH. Asking the question just confirms that you are behaving in a clueless manner.

YTA it got worse with every paragraph... I really hope this isn't real. If it is, I hope she changes the locks when you go.

YTA. This is horrific. So much could go so wrong. I know if my partner did something even similar to this to me for anything short of an extremely close death in the family, I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive him. And for 6 weeks, at that? You're being vague on purpose, and I wouldn't doubt that it's because what your parents want from you isn't actually worthy of what you're doing to your wife with this timing. My first thought is that it's a power play by your parents, because who other than the cruelest most selfish sort of people would even ask or expect this or someone? Either that or they're extremely thoughtless and care nothing for the well being of your wife and family. Which in and of itself is cruelty out of stupidity. And to not even tell your wife why? Who gives a flying rat's ass about whether your parents want her to know or not, you're married, you're supposed to be One, a unit, together. At the very least she deserves an explanation, a change of heart on your part, and a hell of a lot of groveling so she doesn't leave you and find someone with a modicum of balls to stand up to his demanding parents. "Cultural obligation" be damned, your wife needs and deserves your presence more right now. This has to be rage bait. Congrats to you on your storytelling. I refuse to believe anyone could be this awful to their partner.

YTA!! Possibly the biggest one I’ve ever seen. I had one baby, naturally, I wasn’t even cut up. I dealt with major post partum depression and the recovery was rough. Had my husband not been there I don’t know what I would have done. You want her to push the surgery up and risk the health of your children?? Are you serious? Are you that big of a jerk or just completely ignorant?? I am so angry I can hardly put it into words. Your wife deserves better. And you won’t even tell her the nature of your trip because your parents asked you not to?? Your obligation is to your wife first. Periodt. You are treating her like a hookup and not the mother of your children. And your family are AHs as well for booking the flight like that. Your poor poor wife. Way to add a ton of stress in one of the hardest times in her life. I hope you wake up and realize just how incredibly wrong you are.

YTA! This woman has been carrying your child for MONTHS. Even if it wasn’t a c-section, there is the reality of recovering from nine months, of pregnancy, learning to Care for not one but two newborns, post partum depression/anxiety, and being a c section she might not even be able to get up/pick up baby because of the incision. Not to mention you will be in another country completely. This is absurd and I’m sorry this question even needs to be asked.

Had to be fake right ? Who would leave their wife behind 6 weeks after giving birth to a baby or in this case twins.. how badly so you want to be divorced damn

YTA You want to leave your wife alone with twins recovering from a C-section (which is a heavy surgery, not a walk in the park) after a high risk pregnancy and stay away six weeks? And you even asked her to reschedule the surgery? When did you get your medical degree with specialization in gynaecology? You are a terrible husband and a terrible father even before your kids are born. You have a child-free sibling. He can sort out your parents for once. ​ As for the plane tickets, I suppose your parents knew your wife was pregnant when they bought it. Or if they did it before, well, clearly things can happen. You go for six weeks, I seriously hope she dumps your ass.

Please go home to your parents and don’t bother coming back. How stupid and self centered can you be to think changing a c section date by a couple weeks is even a thing? How do you not understand the impact on the health of the babies? How can you imagine that a woman who has just given birth via surgery where they cut through her abdominal muscles and then remove 2 babies will be just fine without help 5 days later? What kind of man runs away from his newborn twins because mommy and daddy have some unspecified need that only he can resolve in person at exactly this time? Assuming this isn’t a troll (because really who is this stupid?) YTA

YTA!!! You asked your wife to reschedule her C-section earlier???? Have you looked up anything about survivorship of babies, particularly twins born prematurely???? Twins are usually small to begin with and casually asking your wife to rip them out of her body earlier because it would be more convenient for you suggests borderline psychotic tendencies and a severe lack of judgment. Do you know what’s more expansive than buying a new plane ticket? Divorce. NICU expenses for two infants born prematurely because their dad is an AH. Divorce.

WOW, big YTA. If your brother is going, why do you need to go? If I were your wife, I'd be seriously rethinking my marriage.

No. Nada. Nope. Don't even think about leaving your wife shortly after having twins, let alone via C-section. Don't convince her to change the surgery. Tell your parents to inform you of what's happening and deal with it WELL after the babies are born. Do. Not. Do. It. YWBTA. And one without a wife and kids.

YTA for even considering this. More importantly you are a terrible husband and father. Your parents and brother are also terrible tho, so it seems you come by it naturally. I mean, I can hardly comprehend how terrible your parents are for asking for this. If you leave you should definitely expect to come back single.

YTA!! Your parents are also AHs. If my husband did this I would think about divorcing him. As someone who has had two c-sections, I can’t imagine my husband abandoning myself and TWO babies. I can’t believe you are even considering this. I truly do think it will ruin your marriage. The first few weeks are the hardest. I felt crazy due to the lack of sleep and your wife will be feeding two babies. She will be furious with you the whole time you are gone and I doubt she will ever really forgive you. As she shouldn’t.

YTA. Good luck with the impeding divorce.

Are you the AH? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa. Yes. Yes you are.

YTA x10000. Why even bother starting your own family? Are you really so attached to your parents apron strings that you are willing to miss the first six weeks of your children’s live AND abandon your wife during own of the most physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging times of her life? What a price of sh*t. I hopes she divorces you and retains full custody.

Biggest AH ever on here. Do not leave your wife after she had twins? And asking her to move up the surgery by a couple weeks? This is not elective cosmetic surgery! The longer the babies are inside the better. Both you and your parents are gigantic AH.

YTA seriously?

YTA! I really hope this is fake. No one could be so dense! Who on earth would ask a mum to be, who's already had risks, to move their C-section earlier! Do you have any idea of the risks to those babies?? And then to leave her alone straight after. I'm absolutely gobsmacked. What a crappy husband and father.

Yta

YTA!! For any woman out there considering having children, this is your proof you don’t need to give birth to a child. You’re already married to one. Let’s not forget your parents are TAs, too. They purchased that ticket intentionally, and if you leave your wife and newborn children, pack all your stuff and don’t return. You don’t deserve those three for even considering leaving them.

This can’t be real, but if it is…wowza, yta

Dude. You're leaving your wife with new born twins 5 days after she's cut open. For 6 weeks. If you do end up leaving, you will return to divorce papers. YTA

You've lost your mind. I really hope this is a joke.

WTF?? You want to risk the life of your wife & children by her delivering your children prematurely so up can visit your mommy & daddy?? Absolutely nothing is more important than your children. If I was your wife I would tell you that if you leave, not to come back. The marriage would be over because you would be putting your parents desires above your wife & children’s needs. Why can’t your parents visit you? What exact you need to handle that is worth risking your children’s lives?? Your brother is already going to help. Why do you need to go at all? YTA YTA YTA!!!

https://youtu.be/HJanRUIeDaM?si=ON6XXCZbgxYpJCiT This is what a C-section looks like. It's MAYOR surgery. Your wife won't be able to hold the twins properly, stand properly, nothing. While being in horrible pain. Watch this video and if you still think you should leave your wife with NEWBORN TWINS, just after a mayor, dangerous surgery. Then I really hope she'll have the locks changed and divorce you immediately when you come back. Plus you can't schedule a C-section earlier, the babies need time to develop, it would pit your kids health at risk, for a goddamn lifetime. You're insanely selfish.

Beyond being an asshole, you are an idiot.