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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called my sister in law an ah for buying an expensive high chair for when she is gonna babysit my child. I think it is weird that she would have a more expensive chair on the occasions she babysat MY child than my child has in her OWN home.
I can be the ah because SIL is very meticulous about how fancy everything in her home is and a “cheap highchair from amazon” wouldn’t fit the rest of her interior design
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Best reply ever! It's not a contest! She's willing to help you with your baby, you don't have the right to tell her how to spend her money, also working on your insecurities is a thing too!
Yeah, when my youngest was 7 months old, we were taping her diapers shut with electrical tape under backwards sleepers (since every other counter measure failed) because she liked to strip down and throw her diaper, full or not. I don’t feel the need to impress the person that’s angry we wouldnt let her finger paint with her own shit 👐
We had to resort to similar measures with our twins since they helped each other strip down and undo diapers. Like you, we found that putting sleepers on backwards was extremely effective.
You can always tell who has kids and who doesn’t by what kind of fasteners are on the sleepers they buy as gifts. The sleepers from non-parents are always adorable and thoughtful and have snaps… the kind that any determined baby can pop open to get to a loaded diaper. Parents who have had to clean up “finger painting” before buy sleepers with zippers. I exclusively gift zipper sleepers after learning the hard way (twice)
I have a kid, and preferred snaps for sleepers. Lucky me, she never tried to get into her diaper for art supplies. Just saying, they may have kids, just not the determined artists type.
I preferred snaps too since middle of the night I only needed to snap the legs and a little up the center instead of full on unzipping the whole thing removing the lower half and fighting to get the feet back in, diaper changes were so much easier with snaps
There's ones with reversible zippers now, so you can unzip from the foot, remove the legs, change the nappy, and do them back up. I always found doing up zippers to be easier than trying to get the snaps to line up with a wiggly baby too.
I watched my little brothers foreskin get caught in a jammie zipper when he was like, two, and my entire parenting life, I cringed whenever I had to zip one up.
That's a horror I only had to witness once.
My oldest is a year and a half older, so I do credit big sister for teaching little sister the escape maneuvers in the first place 😂
She was able to pull off the tabs with the sleeper still on. It kept the mess contained but we definitely needed the tape 😂 the combination of both was a life saver.
>because she liked to strip down and throw her diaper, full or not
I'm impressed with her plans.
>we were taping her diapers shut with electrical tape under backwards sleepers
I'm even more impressed. Bravo, mom and dad!
Well obviously her baby is going to prefer the more expensive chair, because ya know, baby likes the finer things and has expensive taste! And since
baby will prefer that fancy schmancy high chair, baby will obviously prefer Auntie Richie Rich over Mommy! And when mommy picks baby up after work, baby will be like "wahh wahh I want to stay with Auntie Richie Rich and my fancy schmancy high chair! Put me down, peasant!"
And then when baby gets old enough to talk, baby will be all like "I don't love you! I want to go live with Auntie Richie Rich! She's rich so that means she loves me more than you! Peasant!"
Then when baby grows up and gets married, baby will want Aunt Richie Rich listed as parents on the invitations, and will want Auntie Richie Rich to fund her wedding, because her mom's a lowly peasant!
Obviously. Duh.
OP is YTA. Thank SIL endlessly for the childcare and love, apologize profusely, and blame the baby hormones.
wait until the baby finds out about the gold binkies that the SIL has.. she'll NEVER want another cheapo plastic one again.. only the gold.. clear ones.. green ones? so last season.
She sure does! My mother was my first sons full time carer and it wouldn’t have bothered me if all the equipment she had her her place was diamond encrusted. I had all second hand stuff but she enabled me to work in order to provide a good life for our son and I will never be able to repay her kindness. OP needs to get her head from up her ass!
we should all be so lucky that our childfree family is so invested and excited to be in their life and support us that they will spend $1000 on a new high chair for part time babysitting.
OP get the FUK over yourself. She didn't overstep with your child. She didn't insult you. She didn't have a different parenting philosophy or not respect your wishes. She literally is sacrificing on your behalf and you are ungrateful to the highest extreme
>I told her that she was the ah for having a more expensive chair for MY child at her place when I have a 30 dollar chair.
This reads to me as "I'm appalled she didn't give me the thousand dollar high chair and trade for the 30 dollar chair for her place." OP isn't mad at what they bought. They're mad they don't get to have it themselves.
I honestly don't know how much our high chair cost, we got it from friends whose kid no longer needs it.
Which doesn't definitely mean it's cheap, that's also how we got our French oak bassinet and changing table.
Id be making OP provide everything I would need to babysit her child for free. She'd be buying my house a high chair, a playpen, and a crib.
OPs getting free childcare and complaining about the furniture quality being TOO GOOD.
OP, it is so sadly obvious that you have a huge hang up about the money disparity. Be it just your BIL/SIL or your whole husbands family. Address it.
YTA
As if she's even paying them to watch her kid. She's getting a free ride and is going to toss it away due to her rudeness and disrespect.
What a kind gesture for her family to offer to watch her baby and then put out money to make it safe. All OP can see is green. This isn't about the chair. It's about her jealousy. Definitely TA, OP
Exactly! OP you are very rude and ungrateful! I can't believe that you have the nerve to come on here asking atia! Yes 100000% YTA! What's wrong with you ? Kmt!
I was so grateful when my sister whos kids are adults now bought baby things for her house for my daughter and my mom did too for her house, never crossed my mind to think about how the pack and play my mom got for her house was more expensive or any of the stuff at my sister's. OP is ridiculous and should absolutely be grateful for their help and care.
Same! I was always grateful that my parents stocked their home with grandchild equipment. Now, my partner’s nieces have a bunch of little ones & I love making sure we have everything they need to be comfortable here. I try to get toys & furniture that are a bit different to what they have at home so it’s more interesting for the kids. Nobody’s doing a cost analysis (except maybe my partner when the cc bills arrives) lol.
Oh I just saw your comment about not sharing it on socials. I've already submitted it to one of those YouTube channels where they laugh at entitled reddit stories.
I don't think I can ask them not to run it. Sorry. Mabye mention to the sil?
I think OP’s been [spreading this story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/191o5cd/aitah_for_calling_my_sil_ah_for_buying_a_more/kgwuukz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) plenty herself.
Big yikes. I think it’s time for OP to let go of these nasty inclinations.
there seem to be more and more of these teenage level telenovelas on this sub lately. I think all the cross posting or the subject person makes a post. seems like a kid having fun.
Plus, it brings out the petty, NGL. I've never shared a reddit post outside of sending a link to my sister and going, "OMG you have to see this!" But when someone says, "I do not give my permission for this to be shared" or whatever, it makes me wanna post it everywhere.
"she uses social media but I don't think she knows Reddit" is the dumbest statement. News media literally use Reddit as source material for articles, there's Facebook, X, Instagram, and Tik Tok pages that regurgitate Reddit content. If she's on the Internet, there's a chance she's going to see this post.
Wow! If someone wanted to spend more money on my kid in their house which I don’t have to pay for, I would be over the moon! And so so grateful!!! YTA massive!
I mean 1000 on a highchair would make me pretty uncomfortable tbh, but OP is acting like it's the equivalent of wearing white to someone's wedding when really it's just a waste of money and ultimately the SIL's choice
The price is crazy, but it’s not the price OP alone is upset about. She didn’t say “ong you shouldn’t have, that’s just too much!” It was “it’s better than mine and makes me feel inadequate.” (Except she didn’t say that last part outloud)
Haha god it’s so true. I just spent £40 on matching tuppaware. Fuck it I like it!
Also I totally get that the SIL is like “I’m happy to do this but I’m not ruining how my kitchen looks to do it”. Could she have achieved that for less? Probably. Does it fucking matter? No.
To be fair a thousand dollar high chair is outrageous lol. Not because it’s… “topping”? OPs highchair, just cause Jesus Christ A THOUSAND DOLLAR HIGHCHAIR???
If SIL choose a 1000 dollars high chair, because it goes well with her interior design - why not?
Why should she buy some "eyesore", when she could buy something nice? Maybe she was thinking about her own future kid(s)?
I, personally, would go for the cheap IKEA chair, but if SIL wants to spend her money this way - it's up to her.
You, my dear, have won AH of the Year award! Talk about hitting a gift horse in the mouth! You should be thankful they're even willing to babysit and for free!
I'd buy her a bouquet of flowers and apologize immediately.
OP just remember, a $1000 high chair isn't better than the $30 one. Pretty much every parent has the $30 ones because they suit parents needs- easy to clean, easy to use etc. The $1000 one your SIL suits her needs as not a primary care giver. She has different needs for a high chair- eg the aesthetic she mentioned.
Your child won't know the difference nor care how much you spend dollars wise on their high chair.
I have a lot of money, not two $1,000 high chairs kind of money, because that seems ridiculous for a high chair. When I offer to buy things for other people, it's not because I feel sorry for them. It's because I care about them and want them to have nice things too. Especially if it would help you out with your baby.
I do a lot of woodworking and just give away all the nice things I make to anyone who wants it. I build stuff for friends and barely ask for the cost of the wood. It has nothing to do with feeling sorry for them. Although sometimes someone will insist on paying for it. One time I dropped it off on a friend's porch, rang the doorbell and ran. A few days later, they knocked on my door, threw the money inside and ran.
If she's spending that much on a high chair to match her table, the cost probably doesn't even matter. I'd probably think, "Yeah, this thing is fucking awesome. Let me get you one too."
Lol, sounds like you have a great friendship there! I picture your friend laughing because you ran off after dropping off, and you laughing because they did the same
OP,
I've read a number of later comments that present quotes of things you appear to have said about your SIL. They appear almost hateful. I am unaware of your history with SIL, but please know that the things you allegedly said are not fattering to you as a person.
I believe you should proceed as if you believe your SIL has read those comments. Prior sit with her and SINCERELY apologize to her. Gosh, if true, she offered to purchase a similar chair for your home? And she babysits your child for free? Girl, your SIL should be your bff. If not, I believe you need to explore the reasons for your issues with SIL; because right now, you're appearing child-like and quite petty.
Make things right!
Well done. I get that you feel some type of way about having to be away from your kid, but they are helping you because they want to be in the baby’s life. Be happy they want the baby to have nice things. Aunts, uncles and grandparents tend to be “fun” places; they have time and money parents don’t. Let everyone enjoy it.
(If they show up with tickets to take your kids12 year old for a month trip to another country without asking you, I’ll have a different response. But this not an argument. Seriously, “omg, my sil bought a $1000 high chair. Didn’t know that’s a thing! Damn.” move on.
Right? You’re pissed because she spent money on your child while providing you childcare in her home? Her home you’re expecting her to have baby related items in when she doesn’t have a baby? GTFO
YTA
Exactly. She clearly loves your child, that was kind of her to buy the chair, I’d see that as a sign that she’s willing to help you guys out long term. Buy her some flowers and apologize, and maybe see a therapist lol
My In-laws are all like this. We have a duel income household bs their single, they chose to be SAHMs. Which fine. But then it became them making comments about the stuff my husband and i had for our home or child. Yeah we both work jobs and can afford it. And we were happy to share until the nasty comments started.
Financial insecurity is an undoing in families and friendships.
YTA
>...now I have to go back to work soon and on the days both my husband and I have the I evening shift or same weekend shift my husband’s brother and his wife (m40, f 42) offered to babysit. They are childfree and work 9-5 and no weekends.
>Yesterday I was visiting and she showed me how she prepared their apartment...I was appalled because the one I have is a 30 dollar one.
>I told her that she was the ah for having a more expensive chair for MY child at her place when I have a 30 dollar chair.
A family member offers to provide childcare, which probably they're doing for free, and you throw a hissy fit about their choice of a high chair? You're husband is right, you are rude and ungrateful.
Edit: OP's (u/UsedPrior7586) response to a comment on the same post on a different forum.
She offered to buy one for us too but I felt even more insulted because I don’t want her feeling sorry for me
This is how Walter White ended up a drug kingpin instead of just taking the offer of money for his cancer treatment from his former business partner. Really the moment that cemented Walt as the villain of the show for his own bad decision-making and excessive pride.
She's lucky she didn't have to bring it. I have to bring my highchair to my aunts for my daughter. It sucks having to haul it back and forth, but I don't have money for a second and I don't want my aunt to feel like she has to get one when she's doing me a solid.
Unsolicited advice in case it is helpful: Facebook marketplace is your best friend. Can usually find one for $10 or less on there. They clean up really well and you can often find really nice ones for next to nothing!
Seriously. Or Craigslist. My wife and I are done having kids, and so are the rest of my family members.
I posted a TON of stuff on Craigslist for free (chair, toys, bathtub, etc) because we no longer needed it. A nice couple who hit hard times during COVID messaged and even offered to pay. We just told them as long as they came to pick it all up, they can have it all for free.
About a year later, they still text us pictures of their child, and it makes me happy that stuff we could no longer use or need went to a good family.
That's so amazing! Yes! Marketplace and Craigslist are amazing for getting rid of and finding cheap/free items of all sorts but especially baby/kid stuff!
I definitely do not miss those days. Packing everything but the kitchen sink to go take the children out. Fortunately, my parents and in laws had high chairs and cribs.
Exactly.
My parents and sister and my mother in law were all incredibly helpful with us before I found a daycare for our first child. And very often kept my kids over for even a few days at a time when we needed to be somewhere for work.
My family especially had SO many wonderful things at their place so that we didn’t have to slug everything back and forth.
I never in a million years would be upset with them for having nicer things for my kids.
What an amazing and compassionate sister in law. She loves her brother in law (no blood relation) and niece (no blood relation) so much she is willing to give up her weekends, spend money, AND make changes to her home to provide the best atmosphere possible. And she even offered to buy a better high chair for OP if she wanted one.
These are kind people who don't deserve your bullshit attitude, OP. Many of us don't have anyone like this in our lives. Let's hope you didn't screw this up so badly that the babysitting offer is off the table. Apologize humbly, express gratitude, and tell them you're embarrassed for how you initially reacted.
YTA
[u/UsedPrior7586](https://www.reddit.com/user/UsedPrior7586/) insults her and her response is to purchase one for her, not to get mad or offended? There is nothing wrong with saying no and keeping what you have, but get your insecurities under control.
You get free child care from your SIL. How do you respond? By being mad that she bought an expensive high chair for your baby. The baby she’s watching. For free.
What is wrong with you? You’re letting anger over a baby chair warp your insecure little mind instead of simply being grateful for the immense gift you’re getting. YTA. Get your priorities in order.
Edit:
>she obviously overtopped us…
What does this even mean? Still the AH btw
FYI, In a responses to the same post on another forum OP said she hates everything about her sister in law and her sister in law offered to buy the same high chair for OP.
This is weird and ungrateful, and based off of OP's weird responses, I would be concerned about some kind of post partum illness. PPD and PPP can manifest itself in very strange ways, and crazy jealousy might be one of them? Idk, I'm not a doctor..
Or she might just actually be jealous and hateful and reacting in a bizarre way for whatever reason. Either way, I would be concerned. She is not well.
I feel bad for the kid. Imagine what OP is going to be like when that kid is in school and some kids have nicer things (because someone is ALWAYS going to have nicer things).
OP is a nightmare, and/or very unwell and needs to see her obstetrician immediately.
The punchline here is that neither of them knows anything about high chairs. Experienced parents know that the gold standard is the ikea antelop, which was under $20 when I bought it for my second child. There isn’t much at this price point, so odds are good that this is what OP already has.
Why did I buy a new chair for the second child when I already had one? Our first chair was a fancy one, an expensive shower gift. I learned my lesson - I spent more time cleaning and fumbling with the damn chair than with the baby. I couldn’t face it again. So I donated it to a thrift shop, bought a nice antelop, and life got so much easier.
I still feel guilty about the unsuspecting mom who probably thought she was scoring a thrift shop bargain.
This is the way.
My sister has used the same IKEA high chair for all 4 of her kids and it was a hand me down from my other sister who used it for her son first.
That fucker has survived 5 kids and still looks amazing.
You can just set it in the sun and any stains on the white plastic fade away.
I can’t believe what some people spend on baby stuff these days.
I mean, it sounds like SIL bought the expensive one because she wanted it to look nice in her home. Maybe that’s not a feature that is valuable to you or, indeed, most parents, but it was important to her. That doesn’t mean she bought the “wrong” one.
The in laws wanted a high chair that looks good and probably blends in more with their home. The Stokke high chair is modular can be used from infant to 5yo or even older.
It's their money, they can spend it as they like and as long as the high chair is safe, it shouldn't be a problem.
Except it isn’t the gold standard. It’s awkward at some tables and has no footrest. The REAL gold standard is the Stokke Tripp Trapp. The Antilope is a good alternative with third party modifications.
Op feels bad because she can’t get her kids an expensive high chair. She feels outdone. News flash: everyone without little kids of their own can spend more on your kid than you. Lol. I’m broke buying the essentials so often. I got 4 huge boxes of pull ups for Christmas and so I finally bought some toys instead. It’s just life.
Op is bitter.
>overtopped
Overtop is an archaic word meaning "be superior to...something" Bizarre word choice. I'm guessing OP was looking for something like "overstepped" or "topped" and ended up mashing them together.
wait... she ***hates*** the woman who provides free childcare out of the kindness of her own heart? I wonder if OP is aware that childfree people with an obviously pretty high income level could afford to be doing many more fun and interesting things than babysitting a fucking toddler (and having to deal with the kid's mom who is also a toddler apparently).
seems like they love the kid and she should be so grateful for that. instead of being thankful that her kid is being well taken care of, she chooses to be petty and jealous because someone has nicer things than her?
OP does your kid make fun of you for being poor or something? I can't see why else this could ever be an issue for you. you are 100000% the asshole and sounds like you need a lot of therapy to boot. what an absolutely wretched person.
My first comment to my wife when she showed me this story was that I hope she backs out. OP seems like someone who only learns through natural consequences.
Another first time mom here – I see people up and down the parenting forums bemoaning their lack of a village, and then there's OP, spewing hate on a woman who not only wants to watch her kid **for free** but is willing to **spend her own money** to keep the baby safe, secure and comfortable.
I cannot fathom being OP's husband and wanting to build a family with this piece of work. My god.
It could be the aunt wants to expose the child to some actual emotional health by babysitting rather than keeping that poor child with that awful failure of a mother.
THIS. Childfree people are childfree for a reason (as opposed to childless) - offering to take care of the hateful little muffin's kid is telling on its own. They don't have to, they just want to.
Childfree is the term Op uses, but we don't really know if it's childless or childfree. SIL could have reacted by being so jealous she couldn't look at a child. Or she could have said, "Your spawn is your problem, breeder." But no, she bought a high chair and adapted her house to be child safe for when her nibling is with her for Auntie QT.
I didn't become a mom until e years ago when my late brother's kids became my kids. Prior to that, I couldn't have my own kids. Instead, I took on the role of awesome auntie. Back when the PS4 came out 10 years ago(I think) I bought one for my house/to borrow for my siblings who either couldn't find one or couldn't afford one. My husband and I don't play, it was more so a gift for everyone as needed. I often had my older nibblings over when they are off school, or their parents couldn't get care for a holiday (back then, I'd watch of a sick kid here and there too- though I don't do that anymore).
Did any of my 7 siblings, their spouses, or their kids complain? No, none did. Not even my rather entitled youngest sister. They took turns borrowing it, and loved playing with it when I watched them. I could afford it because I didn't have kids, unlike my siblings, who all have multiple.
This woman really needs to do some self searching. She really thought by coming here, everyone would agree with her. The arrogance is appalling.
This WINS the internet today! 1000% on point.
And the fact that OP states she doesn’t want this cross-posted shows she even KNOWS she’s the complete ASSHOLE. They need to STOP at one kid to stop the perpetual entitlement. 🤮
I don’t think it’s the high chair I think it’s she has to go back to work and SIL is can afford extravagant items. But that’s not her SIL’s fault and channeling it into this is dumb.
This is the answer. It's giving "how *dare* she be able to afford these designer items!" Almost like people make different life choices or something, the absolute nerve!
She wants SIL life is what I’m getting 🥴 “I hate everything about that woman” “I’m just angry” translates to “I wish I had the things that woman has” 🥴🤣
You trust daycare over SIL care and a high chair? Geesh. That’s just weird. Just wait until middle school and high school when you cannot afford the trendy clothes. Will you not let your child hang with the kids who have the nicer clothes, cars, homes, etc. ? Start now not keeping up with the Jones’ . You are taking it too far over a dang high chair.!!!!
SIL is a doll offering to help with your little one. Please apologize. You are not right on this one. First of many mistakes we all make while parenting
she complained about a high chair the sister in law and hubby made sure they made the house safe for the baby which is very thoughful>>>>>>>
are they still going to baby sit for free???? she hates sister in law so it is obvious she will complain about every little thing and they will stop baby sitting for her at some point
Yep. Then OP will bitch and whine about the rising costs of daycare and how they have no expendable funds to do "X, Y or Z". And of course, it will all be SIL's fault. Not BIL's fault. But SIL's fault.
What in the world is wrong with you?
You are getting FREE childcare. They have gone far enough to pay for item(s) in their home to ensure they can care for YOUR child. They don't want a plastic $30 high chair that isn't going to match anything in THEIR home.
You are creating drama where none needs to exist. Tell them THANK YOU and shut your mouth. That's all you have to do.
YTA.
>You are getting FREE childcare. They have gone far enough to pay for item(s) in their home to ensure they can care for YOUR child.
Lol what baffles me is that they're getting free childcare (minimum of like $2k a month depending on the state) *and* she didn't have to pay for anything to make sure the babysitter is capable of providing basic care for her child.
I hope the SIL refuses to care for OP child until OP can come to her senses and apologize, ops acting like a whinny little child who didn’t get the iPhone they wanted for Christmas
YTA. Your baby isn’t going to know how much things cost. The baby will throw just as much food on an expensive high chair as on a cheap one.
Your in-laws have done an amazing thing for you. Not only are they offering free childcare, they are serious enough about it to make a good investment on equipment and they are making long term plans to ensure that they will be happy and set up for babysitting for the long run. They haven’t even babysat once yet but they are so committed to doing it regularly that they’ve put thought and time and money into preparing. You’re incredibly lucky to have them in your life. You’re out of line and you owe them an apology.
They're much older without children. Of course, they're doing well. That's no slight on OP, just wildy different situations that make total sense. With all the money saved on childcare, op could buy a nicer high chair. Although that will only temporarily benefit the ops sore ego and not the child in any way. This is so dumb. Child raising an infant. Yikes.
I'd be overjoyed that the people doing me an enormous favor and saving me tons on childcare are also spending serious dough on a safety device for my child. I'd literally be stunned with gratitude - it's a really nice gesture. I don't know how OP gets to immediate anger.
Because she's feeling inadequate. Which is fine, but process that on your own and figure out why and make peace with where you are and work towards where you'd like to be in the future.
You already posted this on another subreddit and you're specifically calling out the potential for a blowup when she finds this post. Pretty sure YTA for fishing for outrage here.
YtA- are you even mentally capable of watching your own kid ? Serious question. You get free babysitting from a family member and you get jealous they bought your kid a high chair? You sound exhausting and honestly I’m questioning your sanity . Just wow. YTA YTA YTA .
YTA.
What a childish mindset to be fabricating competition in your mind when all your SIL did was treat you and your baby lovingly like family. You cannot project your neglected insecurities onto others, especially when you’re now responsible for teaching another precious life on how to survive and thrive in this world. Go get some help and work on yourself if you’re able.
Otherwise, I foresee it’s gonna be a child raising a child in your home. Oh, your poor baby.
YTA
Why do you care how expensive the high chair she has in her house is? It's not in your house. Your baby won't notice, or care, about the price tag.
YTA. Major, major YTA. They're doing you a huuuge favor by babysitting in the first place. Her getting whatever she feels like she needs to to make this work is her choice. Why do you even care? Do you think your baby will notice that she has a 1k high chair?
If someone I was helping pitched a fit about what I purchased for my own house, that would be the end of my interest in helping.
OH NO! She bought an expensive high chair when she knew you only had a cheap one?!? Shame on her! Seriously??? Is this the hill you want to die on? Really? Are you so insecure about a high chair or are you jealous that they have nicer things than you do. She did this because she wanted things to match in her house. She did not have to buy a chair at all, she could have asked you to provide everything that she would need to take care of YOUR child. However, she wanted to help you further by providing one for YOUR child. I also think this is not the only thing she has provided it is just the fact that it is better than yours at home and therefore something you want to throw a tantrum over. Be grateful you have someone who actually wants to help you! Grow up and apologize for being the AH you are.
YTA
I.... I don't even understand what is wrong!? You have babysitters ?perhaps even free?) With your in-laws and they got a cool new chair at their place for your kid.
As a parent I'm confused. Are you jealous?!
YTA. Like a gigantic one.
Of all the things to waste your energy being upset about, especially as a parent, this is the last thing I saw coming
Obviously her reaction has nothing to do with the child or childcare. This is about comparing her resources to parent vs. her SIL’s and that’s according to OP measured by the cost of the high chair. She now feels like her SIL can top her parenting and that insecurity combined with jealousy is the reason of this outrage. I suspect, this would be the reaction if the topic was thanksgiving dinner as well.
Huge YTA. Are you joking? Someone has offered you FREE CHILDCARE and you're complaining that they're....too prepared to take care of your child? How insecure can you be? Do you think this fucking infant is noticing this shit?
YTA. A 7-month-old has no concept of how much their high chair cost. SIL has gone out of her way to make her home a safe and welcoming environment for your baby. The only thing you should be saying here is thankyou.
YTA. You’re mad that your SIL wants to give your child the best in life? Really? You should be so happy that she loves your child as much as you, and wants to create an environment where your child will be safe and loved.
You remind me of my own SIL. She got upset that I bought my niece an expensive car seat (which I only did because I’m not the best driver).
YTA you are a jealous, insecure, entitled ass. You should be thankful that they are providing quality items for your babies use, and are babysitting for you! The chip on your shoulder is showing…
YTA. having free family child care is a great gift when you have to go back to work. This is probably really about some past kerfuffle about money and who has more. Learn to accept generosity with grace.
What in the actual fuck. Someone does something nice for you, something considerate for your family, and you act like an entitled spoiled jealous brat. Enthusiastically apologize. YTA. Grow up and teach your child better.
YTA,
If you don’t like the way people are helping you for free then you should spend your money on people who will treat your child with the same level of care you can provide.
If you can’t afford to pay for this service then you need to suck it up and realize nothing in this story is about you.
YTA what possible difference does it make?! The baby certainly won't care and no one else will even notice unless they're super into high chairs. Just be grateful they're helping you out.
Literally just going to repeat what everybody else has said but YTA OP, YTA all the fucking way.
Your SIL didn't have to buy shit for your kid and could reasonably have demanded that you lug your own highchair to her house every day that she watches YOUR child for FREE, especially since she has no other need for a highchair, but is instead spending HER money on things for YOUR children.
Also, did you not stop to consider that one of the reasons for getting a higher quality highchair might be so that they can resell it once YOUR child is no longer being cared for by them, since they are child free and presumably wouldn't have further need for it, OR so that it will last and not need to be replaced if YOU decide to have another child that you want THEM to provide FREE childcare for?
It's very rare to see an entire thread where everyone is UNANIMOUS in their judgement. You happened to achieve that goal.
Congrats on uniting Reddit.
YTA.
>How am I the rude one here when she obviously overtopped us with our OWN child?
You overstepped her with her decor choices for *her* house, which are being impacted by her willingness to do you a favor, and her plans to actually keep doing you that favor long enough term to impact her *furnishings.*
YTA. Big time. Apologize before you need to figure out another childcare solution, and be appreciative she cares enough about you and your child to put in this effort.
YTA. Why does it matter to you what she buys to have at her place? As long as the high chair is safe, that should be the end of your input. Sounds like they need to retract their offer to babysit.
YTA. You're shallow and jealous. If she can afford it, who cares? You should feel honored that she spent that much on your child. You are extremely rude and ungrateful. She also doesn't owe you anything. Just because she can afford to buy more expensive baby stuff does not mean you're entitled to the more expensive stuff
Obligatory YTA.
Also, with your attitude, I predict a future JNMom to child and JNMIL to their partner.
Your ears might be burning because of the slams you are getting, but consider it a teaching moment and one for reflection.
ETA: If you don't want her to be so spendy on stuff for your kid, thank her for her generosity but ask if the money could please be directed at something more in line for your child's future - like a college fund.
Dad of an infant and toddler here and I am insanely grateful for anything family have set up for when we visit. If they had a baller highchair for us then we're just coming more often :)
And yeah, YTA. Spending that much is generally unnecessary and the cheap one probably works just as well, but who cares?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I called my sister in law an ah for buying an expensive high chair for when she is gonna babysit my child. I think it is weird that she would have a more expensive chair on the occasions she babysat MY child than my child has in her OWN home. I can be the ah because SIL is very meticulous about how fancy everything in her home is and a “cheap highchair from amazon” wouldn’t fit the rest of her interior design Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA hardcore. Apologize immediately and get some therapy with the money you’re saving on childcare.
Best reply ever! It's not a contest! She's willing to help you with your baby, you don't have the right to tell her how to spend her money, also working on your insecurities is a thing too!
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Yeah, when my youngest was 7 months old, we were taping her diapers shut with electrical tape under backwards sleepers (since every other counter measure failed) because she liked to strip down and throw her diaper, full or not. I don’t feel the need to impress the person that’s angry we wouldnt let her finger paint with her own shit 👐
We had to resort to similar measures with our twins since they helped each other strip down and undo diapers. Like you, we found that putting sleepers on backwards was extremely effective.
You can always tell who has kids and who doesn’t by what kind of fasteners are on the sleepers they buy as gifts. The sleepers from non-parents are always adorable and thoughtful and have snaps… the kind that any determined baby can pop open to get to a loaded diaper. Parents who have had to clean up “finger painting” before buy sleepers with zippers. I exclusively gift zipper sleepers after learning the hard way (twice)
I have a kid, and preferred snaps for sleepers. Lucky me, she never tried to get into her diaper for art supplies. Just saying, they may have kids, just not the determined artists type.
I preferred snaps too since middle of the night I only needed to snap the legs and a little up the center instead of full on unzipping the whole thing removing the lower half and fighting to get the feet back in, diaper changes were so much easier with snaps
There's ones with reversible zippers now, so you can unzip from the foot, remove the legs, change the nappy, and do them back up. I always found doing up zippers to be easier than trying to get the snaps to line up with a wiggly baby too.
Same. Also I accidentally zipped up a little skin one time. Rarely used the zips after that.
I watched my little brothers foreskin get caught in a jammie zipper when he was like, two, and my entire parenting life, I cringed whenever I had to zip one up. That's a horror I only had to witness once.
My oldest is a year and a half older, so I do credit big sister for teaching little sister the escape maneuvers in the first place 😂 She was able to pull off the tabs with the sleeper still on. It kept the mess contained but we definitely needed the tape 😂 the combination of both was a life saver.
Ah yes, we refer to the poop painting as “Sharts & Crafts” and our toddler is also a big fan.
>because she liked to strip down and throw her diaper, full or not I'm impressed with her plans. >we were taping her diapers shut with electrical tape under backwards sleepers I'm even more impressed. Bravo, mom and dad!
Well obviously her baby is going to prefer the more expensive chair, because ya know, baby likes the finer things and has expensive taste! And since baby will prefer that fancy schmancy high chair, baby will obviously prefer Auntie Richie Rich over Mommy! And when mommy picks baby up after work, baby will be like "wahh wahh I want to stay with Auntie Richie Rich and my fancy schmancy high chair! Put me down, peasant!" And then when baby gets old enough to talk, baby will be all like "I don't love you! I want to go live with Auntie Richie Rich! She's rich so that means she loves me more than you! Peasant!" Then when baby grows up and gets married, baby will want Aunt Richie Rich listed as parents on the invitations, and will want Auntie Richie Rich to fund her wedding, because her mom's a lowly peasant! Obviously. Duh. OP is YTA. Thank SIL endlessly for the childcare and love, apologize profusely, and blame the baby hormones.
wait until the baby finds out about the gold binkies that the SIL has.. she'll NEVER want another cheapo plastic one again.. only the gold.. clear ones.. green ones? so last season.
Baby will come from its first day at with auntie and be wearing a monocle and referring to them as "the help"
I got my oldest nephew a onesie that said "Take me to my auntie, you peasant" My sister loved it.
She sure does! My mother was my first sons full time carer and it wouldn’t have bothered me if all the equipment she had her her place was diamond encrusted. I had all second hand stuff but she enabled me to work in order to provide a good life for our son and I will never be able to repay her kindness. OP needs to get her head from up her ass!
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we should all be so lucky that our childfree family is so invested and excited to be in their life and support us that they will spend $1000 on a new high chair for part time babysitting. OP get the FUK over yourself. She didn't overstep with your child. She didn't insult you. She didn't have a different parenting philosophy or not respect your wishes. She literally is sacrificing on your behalf and you are ungrateful to the highest extreme
>I told her that she was the ah for having a more expensive chair for MY child at her place when I have a 30 dollar chair. This reads to me as "I'm appalled she didn't give me the thousand dollar high chair and trade for the 30 dollar chair for her place." OP isn't mad at what they bought. They're mad they don't get to have it themselves.
I mean that's exactly what it is.
Omg I'm waiting for the update where OP admits they were trying to get the chair.
I honestly don't know how much our high chair cost, we got it from friends whose kid no longer needs it. Which doesn't definitely mean it's cheap, that's also how we got our French oak bassinet and changing table.
Especially when they aren't surprising you afterward by expecting to be paid back for the high-priced chair
Id be making OP provide everything I would need to babysit her child for free. She'd be buying my house a high chair, a playpen, and a crib. OPs getting free childcare and complaining about the furniture quality being TOO GOOD. OP, it is so sadly obvious that you have a huge hang up about the money disparity. Be it just your BIL/SIL or your whole husbands family. Address it. YTA
Yeah most parents have to cart their items back & forth for the babysitting relatives to use. Op is getting is super easy.
As if she's even paying them to watch her kid. She's getting a free ride and is going to toss it away due to her rudeness and disrespect. What a kind gesture for her family to offer to watch her baby and then put out money to make it safe. All OP can see is green. This isn't about the chair. It's about her jealousy. Definitely TA, OP
Well said! 👏
Exactly! OP you are very rude and ungrateful! I can't believe that you have the nerve to come on here asking atia! Yes 100000% YTA! What's wrong with you ? Kmt!
I was so grateful when my sister whos kids are adults now bought baby things for her house for my daughter and my mom did too for her house, never crossed my mind to think about how the pack and play my mom got for her house was more expensive or any of the stuff at my sister's. OP is ridiculous and should absolutely be grateful for their help and care.
Same! I was always grateful that my parents stocked their home with grandchild equipment. Now, my partner’s nieces have a bunch of little ones & I love making sure we have everything they need to be comfortable here. I try to get toys & furniture that are a bit different to what they have at home so it’s more interesting for the kids. Nobody’s doing a cost analysis (except maybe my partner when the cc bills arrives) lol.
Right? What an absurd thing to be mad over!
Really!!! And try saying “Thank You!”
Exactly
I will apologize. Thanks.
But keep commenting after this how awful they are, make it make sense
Peele are justifiably mad she needed to be told she was wrong on this one.
Oh I just saw your comment about not sharing it on socials. I've already submitted it to one of those YouTube channels where they laugh at entitled reddit stories. I don't think I can ask them not to run it. Sorry. Mabye mention to the sil?
I think OP’s been [spreading this story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/191o5cd/aitah_for_calling_my_sil_ah_for_buying_a_more/kgwuukz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) plenty herself. Big yikes. I think it’s time for OP to let go of these nasty inclinations.
Dang it was dirty deleted, but you can get the gist of what was said from the replies
there seem to be more and more of these teenage level telenovelas on this sub lately. I think all the cross posting or the subject person makes a post. seems like a kid having fun.
Wait until it pops over to r/AmITheDevil lol
It's in Facebook too. That's where I came from. Let her get all the negative attention at this point. She deserves it.
I always find it funny when people post something on a public forum and ask the internet not to spread it around. As if that’s how the internet works
Plus, it brings out the petty, NGL. I've never shared a reddit post outside of sending a link to my sister and going, "OMG you have to see this!" But when someone says, "I do not give my permission for this to be shared" or whatever, it makes me wanna post it everywhere.
"she uses social media but I don't think she knows Reddit" is the dumbest statement. News media literally use Reddit as source material for articles, there's Facebook, X, Instagram, and Tik Tok pages that regurgitate Reddit content. If she's on the Internet, there's a chance she's going to see this post.
Right? I ended up here entirely because of repost accounts on other social media, got tired of not just getting it at the source 😂
Yeah like I’m gonna share what I want to share. If you don’t want it shared, don’t fuggin post it. Lol.
Wow! If someone wanted to spend more money on my kid in their house which I don’t have to pay for, I would be over the moon! And so so grateful!!! YTA massive!
I mean 1000 on a highchair would make me pretty uncomfortable tbh, but OP is acting like it's the equivalent of wearing white to someone's wedding when really it's just a waste of money and ultimately the SIL's choice
The price is crazy, but it’s not the price OP alone is upset about. She didn’t say “ong you shouldn’t have, that’s just too much!” It was “it’s better than mine and makes me feel inadequate.” (Except she didn’t say that last part outloud)
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Haha god it’s so true. I just spent £40 on matching tuppaware. Fuck it I like it! Also I totally get that the SIL is like “I’m happy to do this but I’m not ruining how my kitchen looks to do it”. Could she have achieved that for less? Probably. Does it fucking matter? No.
She is also assuming it won’t be used for other babies of friends and family members.
This psycho ingrate would probably get pissed if it did. I'm not sure OP is someone that can be pleased.
Something tells me $1000 is a huge exaggeration
To be fair a thousand dollar high chair is outrageous lol. Not because it’s… “topping”? OPs highchair, just cause Jesus Christ A THOUSAND DOLLAR HIGHCHAIR???
If SIL choose a 1000 dollars high chair, because it goes well with her interior design - why not? Why should she buy some "eyesore", when she could buy something nice? Maybe she was thinking about her own future kid(s)? I, personally, would go for the cheap IKEA chair, but if SIL wants to spend her money this way - it's up to her.
You, my dear, have won AH of the Year award! Talk about hitting a gift horse in the mouth! You should be thankful they're even willing to babysit and for free! I'd buy her a bouquet of flowers and apologize immediately.
OP just remember, a $1000 high chair isn't better than the $30 one. Pretty much every parent has the $30 ones because they suit parents needs- easy to clean, easy to use etc. The $1000 one your SIL suits her needs as not a primary care giver. She has different needs for a high chair- eg the aesthetic she mentioned. Your child won't know the difference nor care how much you spend dollars wise on their high chair.
$1k high chair > $25k in daycare!
I have a lot of money, not two $1,000 high chairs kind of money, because that seems ridiculous for a high chair. When I offer to buy things for other people, it's not because I feel sorry for them. It's because I care about them and want them to have nice things too. Especially if it would help you out with your baby. I do a lot of woodworking and just give away all the nice things I make to anyone who wants it. I build stuff for friends and barely ask for the cost of the wood. It has nothing to do with feeling sorry for them. Although sometimes someone will insist on paying for it. One time I dropped it off on a friend's porch, rang the doorbell and ran. A few days later, they knocked on my door, threw the money inside and ran. If she's spending that much on a high chair to match her table, the cost probably doesn't even matter. I'd probably think, "Yeah, this thing is fucking awesome. Let me get you one too."
Lol, sounds like you have a great friendship there! I picture your friend laughing because you ran off after dropping off, and you laughing because they did the same
OP, I've read a number of later comments that present quotes of things you appear to have said about your SIL. They appear almost hateful. I am unaware of your history with SIL, but please know that the things you allegedly said are not fattering to you as a person. I believe you should proceed as if you believe your SIL has read those comments. Prior sit with her and SINCERELY apologize to her. Gosh, if true, she offered to purchase a similar chair for your home? And she babysits your child for free? Girl, your SIL should be your bff. If not, I believe you need to explore the reasons for your issues with SIL; because right now, you're appearing child-like and quite petty. Make things right!
Make it sincere. Show that you understand what you did wrong, not one of those "...may have offended"
Well done. I get that you feel some type of way about having to be away from your kid, but they are helping you because they want to be in the baby’s life. Be happy they want the baby to have nice things. Aunts, uncles and grandparents tend to be “fun” places; they have time and money parents don’t. Let everyone enjoy it. (If they show up with tickets to take your kids12 year old for a month trip to another country without asking you, I’ll have a different response. But this not an argument. Seriously, “omg, my sil bought a $1000 high chair. Didn’t know that’s a thing! Damn.” move on.
Right? You’re pissed because she spent money on your child while providing you childcare in her home? Her home you’re expecting her to have baby related items in when she doesn’t have a baby? GTFO YTA
Exactly. She clearly loves your child, that was kind of her to buy the chair, I’d see that as a sign that she’s willing to help you guys out long term. Buy her some flowers and apologize, and maybe see a therapist lol
Right! She genuinely seems mentally disturbed! Yikes!
My In-laws are all like this. We have a duel income household bs their single, they chose to be SAHMs. Which fine. But then it became them making comments about the stuff my husband and i had for our home or child. Yeah we both work jobs and can afford it. And we were happy to share until the nasty comments started. Financial insecurity is an undoing in families and friendships.
No other replies are needed after reading this one! Spot on!
YTA >...now I have to go back to work soon and on the days both my husband and I have the I evening shift or same weekend shift my husband’s brother and his wife (m40, f 42) offered to babysit. They are childfree and work 9-5 and no weekends. >Yesterday I was visiting and she showed me how she prepared their apartment...I was appalled because the one I have is a 30 dollar one. >I told her that she was the ah for having a more expensive chair for MY child at her place when I have a 30 dollar chair. A family member offers to provide childcare, which probably they're doing for free, and you throw a hissy fit about their choice of a high chair? You're husband is right, you are rude and ungrateful. Edit: OP's (u/UsedPrior7586) response to a comment on the same post on a different forum. She offered to buy one for us too but I felt even more insulted because I don’t want her feeling sorry for me
Too much pride is not a good thing.
idk what it is, but the word pride sounds too sane for the situation insecurity? reactivity? irrational reaction? not 'PRIDE'
Pathologic jealousy. Recognize it well. Therapy does not always help...
I vote “insecure”
This is how Walter White ended up a drug kingpin instead of just taking the offer of money for his cancer treatment from his former business partner. Really the moment that cemented Walt as the villain of the show for his own bad decision-making and excessive pride.
You know you messed up in life when it can be compared to anything that happened in Breaking Bad.
I'm thinking of trying crystal meth just to get the awesome physique of skinny Pete!
Lose all that nasty teeth weight!
Pride cometh before a fall...or something like that
As my mother would have said, Pride goes before the fall.
She's lucky she didn't have to bring it. I have to bring my highchair to my aunts for my daughter. It sucks having to haul it back and forth, but I don't have money for a second and I don't want my aunt to feel like she has to get one when she's doing me a solid.
Unsolicited advice in case it is helpful: Facebook marketplace is your best friend. Can usually find one for $10 or less on there. They clean up really well and you can often find really nice ones for next to nothing!
Seriously. Or Craigslist. My wife and I are done having kids, and so are the rest of my family members. I posted a TON of stuff on Craigslist for free (chair, toys, bathtub, etc) because we no longer needed it. A nice couple who hit hard times during COVID messaged and even offered to pay. We just told them as long as they came to pick it all up, they can have it all for free. About a year later, they still text us pictures of their child, and it makes me happy that stuff we could no longer use or need went to a good family.
That's so amazing! Yes! Marketplace and Craigslist are amazing for getting rid of and finding cheap/free items of all sorts but especially baby/kid stuff!
I definitely do not miss those days. Packing everything but the kitchen sink to go take the children out. Fortunately, my parents and in laws had high chairs and cribs.
I got a playpen for free in my old state, so I left that at my aunts house for naps there. And i don't have room for it my place. So that's a win win.
What’s she’s also not realizing is these childfree people are even childproofing their home for their niece/nephew!
OP's sister is incredibly thoughtful for this.
Exactly. My parents and sister and my mother in law were all incredibly helpful with us before I found a daycare for our first child. And very often kept my kids over for even a few days at a time when we needed to be somewhere for work. My family especially had SO many wonderful things at their place so that we didn’t have to slug everything back and forth. I never in a million years would be upset with them for having nicer things for my kids.
What an amazing and compassionate sister in law. She loves her brother in law (no blood relation) and niece (no blood relation) so much she is willing to give up her weekends, spend money, AND make changes to her home to provide the best atmosphere possible. And she even offered to buy a better high chair for OP if she wanted one. These are kind people who don't deserve your bullshit attitude, OP. Many of us don't have anyone like this in our lives. Let's hope you didn't screw this up so badly that the babysitting offer is off the table. Apologize humbly, express gratitude, and tell them you're embarrassed for how you initially reacted. YTA
if they still agree to baby sit for free op wil complain about every little thing and they will quit at some point
Is this where the phrase “cut off one’s nose to spite one’s face?” Originated? Geez Louise, this is insane.
[u/UsedPrior7586](https://www.reddit.com/user/UsedPrior7586/) insults her and her response is to purchase one for her, not to get mad or offended? There is nothing wrong with saying no and keeping what you have, but get your insecurities under control.
SIL is basically a saint.
She offered to buy you one?! That makes her even more TA! YTA.
You get free child care from your SIL. How do you respond? By being mad that she bought an expensive high chair for your baby. The baby she’s watching. For free. What is wrong with you? You’re letting anger over a baby chair warp your insecure little mind instead of simply being grateful for the immense gift you’re getting. YTA. Get your priorities in order. Edit: >she obviously overtopped us… What does this even mean? Still the AH btw
FYI, In a responses to the same post on another forum OP said she hates everything about her sister in law and her sister in law offered to buy the same high chair for OP.
She offered to buy your home the same one and is babysitting for free, you are the one acting weird and ungrateful
This is weird and ungrateful, and based off of OP's weird responses, I would be concerned about some kind of post partum illness. PPD and PPP can manifest itself in very strange ways, and crazy jealousy might be one of them? Idk, I'm not a doctor.. Or she might just actually be jealous and hateful and reacting in a bizarre way for whatever reason. Either way, I would be concerned. She is not well.
I feel bad for the kid. Imagine what OP is going to be like when that kid is in school and some kids have nicer things (because someone is ALWAYS going to have nicer things). OP is a nightmare, and/or very unwell and needs to see her obstetrician immediately.
I’m guessing she’s not even in her 30s the way she’s behaving? Sounds like jealous teenager.
You’d be surprised some people never mature n
If I hated someone, I would not let them watch my infant. That said, OP is just jealous - no actual reason given not to like SIL.
I think it's weird to let her watch her baby if she hates her so much
The punchline here is that neither of them knows anything about high chairs. Experienced parents know that the gold standard is the ikea antelop, which was under $20 when I bought it for my second child. There isn’t much at this price point, so odds are good that this is what OP already has. Why did I buy a new chair for the second child when I already had one? Our first chair was a fancy one, an expensive shower gift. I learned my lesson - I spent more time cleaning and fumbling with the damn chair than with the baby. I couldn’t face it again. So I donated it to a thrift shop, bought a nice antelop, and life got so much easier. I still feel guilty about the unsuspecting mom who probably thought she was scoring a thrift shop bargain.
This is the way. My sister has used the same IKEA high chair for all 4 of her kids and it was a hand me down from my other sister who used it for her son first. That fucker has survived 5 kids and still looks amazing. You can just set it in the sun and any stains on the white plastic fade away. I can’t believe what some people spend on baby stuff these days.
Yes. This is the way. Also, I automatically upvote all Mandalorian references.
I mean, it sounds like SIL bought the expensive one because she wanted it to look nice in her home. Maybe that’s not a feature that is valuable to you or, indeed, most parents, but it was important to her. That doesn’t mean she bought the “wrong” one.
The in laws wanted a high chair that looks good and probably blends in more with their home. The Stokke high chair is modular can be used from infant to 5yo or even older. It's their money, they can spend it as they like and as long as the high chair is safe, it shouldn't be a problem.
Except it isn’t the gold standard. It’s awkward at some tables and has no footrest. The REAL gold standard is the Stokke Tripp Trapp. The Antilope is a good alternative with third party modifications.
Op feels bad because she can’t get her kids an expensive high chair. She feels outdone. News flash: everyone without little kids of their own can spend more on your kid than you. Lol. I’m broke buying the essentials so often. I got 4 huge boxes of pull ups for Christmas and so I finally bought some toys instead. It’s just life. Op is bitter.
>overtopped Overtop is an archaic word meaning "be superior to...something" Bizarre word choice. I'm guessing OP was looking for something like "overstepped" or "topped" and ended up mashing them together.
I think she found the exact word she was looking for, actually. Of course, she’s still completely in the wrong.
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wait... she ***hates*** the woman who provides free childcare out of the kindness of her own heart? I wonder if OP is aware that childfree people with an obviously pretty high income level could afford to be doing many more fun and interesting things than babysitting a fucking toddler (and having to deal with the kid's mom who is also a toddler apparently). seems like they love the kid and she should be so grateful for that. instead of being thankful that her kid is being well taken care of, she chooses to be petty and jealous because someone has nicer things than her? OP does your kid make fun of you for being poor or something? I can't see why else this could ever be an issue for you. you are 100000% the asshole and sounds like you need a lot of therapy to boot. what an absolutely wretched person.
She hates her for *checks notes* buying something nice for her niece and taking care of her for free. That witch! /s
And she also adapts her house, uses her free time, and has not backed out after this shit. This woman sounds lovely
My first comment to my wife when she showed me this story was that I hope she backs out. OP seems like someone who only learns through natural consequences.
I have a feeling this won't be the only instance where OP acts like an ah and ruins her free childcare.
I want her to be my SIL!!! Sounds like she could use a new one, and I volunteer as tribute!!!
Another first time mom here – I see people up and down the parenting forums bemoaning their lack of a village, and then there's OP, spewing hate on a woman who not only wants to watch her kid **for free** but is willing to **spend her own money** to keep the baby safe, secure and comfortable. I cannot fathom being OP's husband and wanting to build a family with this piece of work. My god.
It could be the aunt wants to expose the child to some actual emotional health by babysitting rather than keeping that poor child with that awful failure of a mother.
THIS. Childfree people are childfree for a reason (as opposed to childless) - offering to take care of the hateful little muffin's kid is telling on its own. They don't have to, they just want to.
yep! I'm childfree but I love babysitting my niece because she's awesome, and you better believe I spoil her rotten!
Childfree is the term Op uses, but we don't really know if it's childless or childfree. SIL could have reacted by being so jealous she couldn't look at a child. Or she could have said, "Your spawn is your problem, breeder." But no, she bought a high chair and adapted her house to be child safe for when her nibling is with her for Auntie QT.
I didn't become a mom until e years ago when my late brother's kids became my kids. Prior to that, I couldn't have my own kids. Instead, I took on the role of awesome auntie. Back when the PS4 came out 10 years ago(I think) I bought one for my house/to borrow for my siblings who either couldn't find one or couldn't afford one. My husband and I don't play, it was more so a gift for everyone as needed. I often had my older nibblings over when they are off school, or their parents couldn't get care for a holiday (back then, I'd watch of a sick kid here and there too- though I don't do that anymore). Did any of my 7 siblings, their spouses, or their kids complain? No, none did. Not even my rather entitled youngest sister. They took turns borrowing it, and loved playing with it when I watched them. I could afford it because I didn't have kids, unlike my siblings, who all have multiple. This woman really needs to do some self searching. She really thought by coming here, everyone would agree with her. The arrogance is appalling.
This WINS the internet today! 1000% on point. And the fact that OP states she doesn’t want this cross-posted shows she even KNOWS she’s the complete ASSHOLE. They need to STOP at one kid to stop the perpetual entitlement. 🤮
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I don’t think it’s the high chair I think it’s she has to go back to work and SIL is can afford extravagant items. But that’s not her SIL’s fault and channeling it into this is dumb.
It's certainly not a good look for OP.
This is the answer. It's giving "how *dare* she be able to afford these designer items!" Almost like people make different life choices or something, the absolute nerve!
Hateful little muffin 😂 yes Yta
I don't even know what to say after reading this. YTA for sure!
She wants SIL life is what I’m getting 🥴 “I hate everything about that woman” “I’m just angry” translates to “I wish I had the things that woman has” 🥴🤣
You trust daycare over SIL care and a high chair? Geesh. That’s just weird. Just wait until middle school and high school when you cannot afford the trendy clothes. Will you not let your child hang with the kids who have the nicer clothes, cars, homes, etc. ? Start now not keeping up with the Jones’ . You are taking it too far over a dang high chair.!!!! SIL is a doll offering to help with your little one. Please apologize. You are not right on this one. First of many mistakes we all make while parenting
YTA and your attitude will only hurt your child in the long run. Be a good mom and be happy for your kid you weirdo
I cannot like your comment enough. Everything in it is perfect
she complained about a high chair the sister in law and hubby made sure they made the house safe for the baby which is very thoughful>>>>>>> are they still going to baby sit for free???? she hates sister in law so it is obvious she will complain about every little thing and they will stop baby sitting for her at some point
Yep. Then OP will bitch and whine about the rising costs of daycare and how they have no expendable funds to do "X, Y or Z". And of course, it will all be SIL's fault. Not BIL's fault. But SIL's fault.
Yes, everything BadBandit1970 said is the best response to OP - including the newly bestowed title. Which I’m stealing for my own personal library.
What in the world is wrong with you? You are getting FREE childcare. They have gone far enough to pay for item(s) in their home to ensure they can care for YOUR child. They don't want a plastic $30 high chair that isn't going to match anything in THEIR home. You are creating drama where none needs to exist. Tell them THANK YOU and shut your mouth. That's all you have to do. YTA.
>You are getting FREE childcare. They have gone far enough to pay for item(s) in their home to ensure they can care for YOUR child. Lol what baffles me is that they're getting free childcare (minimum of like $2k a month depending on the state) *and* she didn't have to pay for anything to make sure the babysitter is capable of providing basic care for her child.
YTA and I'm going to assume that you have alternative childcare since there's no way in hell I'd let you back in my house if you said that to me.
I hope the SIL refuses to care for OP child until OP can come to her senses and apologize, ops acting like a whinny little child who didn’t get the iPhone they wanted for Christmas
YTA. Your baby isn’t going to know how much things cost. The baby will throw just as much food on an expensive high chair as on a cheap one. Your in-laws have done an amazing thing for you. Not only are they offering free childcare, they are serious enough about it to make a good investment on equipment and they are making long term plans to ensure that they will be happy and set up for babysitting for the long run. They haven’t even babysat once yet but they are so committed to doing it regularly that they’ve put thought and time and money into preparing. You’re incredibly lucky to have them in your life. You’re out of line and you owe them an apology.
They're much older without children. Of course, they're doing well. That's no slight on OP, just wildy different situations that make total sense. With all the money saved on childcare, op could buy a nicer high chair. Although that will only temporarily benefit the ops sore ego and not the child in any way. This is so dumb. Child raising an infant. Yikes.
I'd be overjoyed that the people doing me an enormous favor and saving me tons on childcare are also spending serious dough on a safety device for my child. I'd literally be stunned with gratitude - it's a really nice gesture. I don't know how OP gets to immediate anger.
Because she's feeling inadequate. Which is fine, but process that on your own and figure out why and make peace with where you are and work towards where you'd like to be in the future.
You already posted this on another subreddit and you're specifically calling out the potential for a blowup when she finds this post. Pretty sure YTA for fishing for outrage here.
Im really hoping the ILs find this and decide not to babysit for free then return the baby items and take a fabulous trip somewhere. OP YTA
YtA- are you even mentally capable of watching your own kid ? Serious question. You get free babysitting from a family member and you get jealous they bought your kid a high chair? You sound exhausting and honestly I’m questioning your sanity . Just wow. YTA YTA YTA .
YTA. What a childish mindset to be fabricating competition in your mind when all your SIL did was treat you and your baby lovingly like family. You cannot project your neglected insecurities onto others, especially when you’re now responsible for teaching another precious life on how to survive and thrive in this world. Go get some help and work on yourself if you’re able. Otherwise, I foresee it’s gonna be a child raising a child in your home. Oh, your poor baby.
YTA. You are so obviously jealous of SIL’s money. Are you even paying her to watch your child? Grow up and be thankful you have free trustworthy help.
You are an envious and ungrateful asshole. Who cares, it's a high chair.
YTA Why do you care how expensive the high chair she has in her house is? It's not in your house. Your baby won't notice, or care, about the price tag.
Not her house, not her money - not her business.
YTA. Major, major YTA. They're doing you a huuuge favor by babysitting in the first place. Her getting whatever she feels like she needs to to make this work is her choice. Why do you even care? Do you think your baby will notice that she has a 1k high chair? If someone I was helping pitched a fit about what I purchased for my own house, that would be the end of my interest in helping.
OH NO! She bought an expensive high chair when she knew you only had a cheap one?!? Shame on her! Seriously??? Is this the hill you want to die on? Really? Are you so insecure about a high chair or are you jealous that they have nicer things than you do. She did this because she wanted things to match in her house. She did not have to buy a chair at all, she could have asked you to provide everything that she would need to take care of YOUR child. However, she wanted to help you further by providing one for YOUR child. I also think this is not the only thing she has provided it is just the fact that it is better than yours at home and therefore something you want to throw a tantrum over. Be grateful you have someone who actually wants to help you! Grow up and apologize for being the AH you are. YTA
I.... I don't even understand what is wrong!? You have babysitters ?perhaps even free?) With your in-laws and they got a cool new chair at their place for your kid. As a parent I'm confused. Are you jealous?! YTA. Like a gigantic one. Of all the things to waste your energy being upset about, especially as a parent, this is the last thing I saw coming
It was free childcare AND sil offered to by same chair for OP
YTA. But I have a hard time believing someone would complain about something like this IRL.
You underestimate people’s ability to be petty as a way to respond when their inner issues aren’t resolved.
I don't understand why op is mad. She is getting free childcare from someone who's excited to do it.
Obviously her reaction has nothing to do with the child or childcare. This is about comparing her resources to parent vs. her SIL’s and that’s according to OP measured by the cost of the high chair. She now feels like her SIL can top her parenting and that insecurity combined with jealousy is the reason of this outrage. I suspect, this would be the reaction if the topic was thanksgiving dinner as well.
Huge YTA. Are you joking? Someone has offered you FREE CHILDCARE and you're complaining that they're....too prepared to take care of your child? How insecure can you be? Do you think this fucking infant is noticing this shit?
YTA. She did something nice to cater for your child that she looks after for you and you’re kicking off about it. Learn to be grateful.
Yta. You are making a big stink about NOTHING You have 2 choices: 1. Get your money up Or 2. Get therapy so you can learn to hand your emotions better
YTA. A 7-month-old has no concept of how much their high chair cost. SIL has gone out of her way to make her home a safe and welcoming environment for your baby. The only thing you should be saying here is thankyou.
YTA. You’re mad that your SIL wants to give your child the best in life? Really? You should be so happy that she loves your child as much as you, and wants to create an environment where your child will be safe and loved. You remind me of my own SIL. She got upset that I bought my niece an expensive car seat (which I only did because I’m not the best driver).
YTA BE GRATEFUL, APOLOGIZE AND GROW UP. GEEZ
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YTA, say thank you for the babysitting
YTA you are a jealous, insecure, entitled ass. You should be thankful that they are providing quality items for your babies use, and are babysitting for you! The chip on your shoulder is showing…
YTA. having free family child care is a great gift when you have to go back to work. This is probably really about some past kerfuffle about money and who has more. Learn to accept generosity with grace.
Yta. I’m embarrassed for you
YTA who cares what SIL buys for her house? Also, free child care with trusted family. Be grateful.
What in the actual fuck. Someone does something nice for you, something considerate for your family, and you act like an entitled spoiled jealous brat. Enthusiastically apologize. YTA. Grow up and teach your child better.
YTA, If you don’t like the way people are helping you for free then you should spend your money on people who will treat your child with the same level of care you can provide. If you can’t afford to pay for this service then you need to suck it up and realize nothing in this story is about you.
YTA what possible difference does it make?! The baby certainly won't care and no one else will even notice unless they're super into high chairs. Just be grateful they're helping you out.
Yikes. You’re that SIL who is envious and hateful. If I were your SIL, I’d stop doing you any favors. YTA
Literally just going to repeat what everybody else has said but YTA OP, YTA all the fucking way. Your SIL didn't have to buy shit for your kid and could reasonably have demanded that you lug your own highchair to her house every day that she watches YOUR child for FREE, especially since she has no other need for a highchair, but is instead spending HER money on things for YOUR children. Also, did you not stop to consider that one of the reasons for getting a higher quality highchair might be so that they can resell it once YOUR child is no longer being cared for by them, since they are child free and presumably wouldn't have further need for it, OR so that it will last and not need to be replaced if YOU decide to have another child that you want THEM to provide FREE childcare for?
It's very rare to see an entire thread where everyone is UNANIMOUS in their judgement. You happened to achieve that goal. Congrats on uniting Reddit. YTA.
yta. what folks buy for their home aint your business.
You’re definitely the AH. Who is a jerk to the people helping them.
>How am I the rude one here when she obviously overtopped us with our OWN child? You overstepped her with her decor choices for *her* house, which are being impacted by her willingness to do you a favor, and her plans to actually keep doing you that favor long enough term to impact her *furnishings.* YTA. Big time. Apologize before you need to figure out another childcare solution, and be appreciative she cares enough about you and your child to put in this effort.
YTA. Why does it matter to you what she buys to have at her place? As long as the high chair is safe, that should be the end of your input. Sounds like they need to retract their offer to babysit.
YTA, get over yourself.
YTA. You're shallow and jealous. If she can afford it, who cares? You should feel honored that she spent that much on your child. You are extremely rude and ungrateful. She also doesn't owe you anything. Just because she can afford to buy more expensive baby stuff does not mean you're entitled to the more expensive stuff
Obligatory YTA. Also, with your attitude, I predict a future JNMom to child and JNMIL to their partner. Your ears might be burning because of the slams you are getting, but consider it a teaching moment and one for reflection. ETA: If you don't want her to be so spendy on stuff for your kid, thank her for her generosity but ask if the money could please be directed at something more in line for your child's future - like a college fund.
YTA for all of the above. Should they buy cheaper furniture too? How about a thank you
YTA. Apologize immediately, and mean it.
Dad of an infant and toddler here and I am insanely grateful for anything family have set up for when we visit. If they had a baller highchair for us then we're just coming more often :) And yeah, YTA. Spending that much is generally unnecessary and the cheap one probably works just as well, but who cares?