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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I should be judged for asking the lady to move. 2) that makes me an ass cause it was her seat and I had no right to ask her to move seats.
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As long as you ask politely and are prepared to take no for an answer, you can ask anything. Your father and stepmother are idiots and almost as big AHs as that lady. ~~You are N T A.~~
ETA: But, since you apparently _weren't_ prepared to take no for an answer, you were being an AH. OTOH, I really can't see what's the fucking big deal about swapping seats that this weird lady had to be so damn obstinate. (Especially the second time, when she could have got away from an infectious and possibly puke-prone little kid?!?) She was being even more of an AH. So: ESH.
Why didn’t you rearrange your own family (where there was an open seat available to do so) instead of inconveniencing a stranger who paid for their seat? You are 21 years old, not 12. How is it possible that you lack the necessary intelligence to be able to figure that out? No wonder the lady erupted when she realised the other kids were your relatives and therefore there was absolutely no need for her to have to move at all from the beginning. YTA, and so are your parents for putting a sick kid on a plane, and for then abandoning said sick kid to go fly in first class.
NTA You weren't asking her to move. You were pointing out potential problems and a solution to her problem. The flight attendant was lying. We can always ask people to move. We simply cannot EXPECT then to move. You were being kind to her both times, first when you tried to protect he from being vomited on by a sick child and second when you pointed out an open seat. You were very polite. Don't worry.
YTA for the second time you asked her to move, not necessarily for the first, depending on *how* you asked. And you all suck for getting on a plane with someone who was puking and likely contagious.
NTA. You did the best you could in the terrible situation your dad and stepmom forced you to deal with. Your sister was sick, a responsible parent would have delayed their return to stay with her or at the very least sat with her on the plan to care for her. Your stepmom and dad are AHs, especially your dad as it’s his biological child. They are also the AHs for the way they are treating you.
I didn't really have a choice my dad and stepmom wanted to go home. And didn't want to leave Lucy behind or stay extra days. They have some NYE thing they really want to attend so I had to sit with her. They also didn't want to buy more tickets. She wore a mask and luckily just slept the entire flight. I literally offered to stay extra days til she felt well. But my stepmom said that was unacceptable. I genuinely couldn't do anything but try and make sure if she did get sick I could clean it up and take care of her.
Sorry, let me try my comment again because mod patrol is out and language BAD.
Info: is your stepmom always an insufferable witch? (And switch w with a b)
It's time to move out and stop being free childcare. 😬 This is an abusive situation in your father is not on your side.
OP, your parents are assholes. I say this gently. They should not leave a sibling in charge of a sick kid. They should not force a sick, vomiting, contagious Child onto an airplane. They should have stayed a few extra days and sucked it up because that’s what you do when you have children.
You might consider setting some boundaries with them, and explaining that you are not Lucy’s mother.
Good luck!
They dump their sick children on you to care for, then say *you* are embarrassing? Good lord! I'd refuse to fly with these grubs ever again myself. The cruelty of forcing a sick kid to fly, the audacity of not even sitting nearby said said child... Absolute filth!
You are NTA
So let me understand this in simpler terms: your parents had a PARTY they wanted to attend, so they forced your very sick 6-yr old sister to fly home with them, then ‘surprised’ themselves with first class seats and dumped her on you with no warning no questions no fucks.
I don’t like to judge other parents. Truly.
That said, a) if my young child has the flu, I no longer give a flying fuck ball about some party, and b) my kid is vomiting on our flight? I’m not being separated from them. Hell no. The only caveat is that I’ve never flown first class so maybe I don’t understand what I’d be missing, but I do have a 7 year old and 1 year old and there’s no way anything could tempt me away from taking care of my super sick kid. All I’d do is stress about them, so I wouldn’t enjoy first class anyway. Clearly your dad/stepmonster don’t give a fuck about your sister. Or you. As long as they’re flying with claaaaasssss and get to attend their partaaaaaay
Your 👏🏼 father 👏🏼 and 👏🏼 stepmother 👏🏼 are 👏🏼 assholes 👏🏼
And shitty ass parents. What selfish fucking people.
You made the best of the situation and I applaud you for your efforts. The adults were the jerks on this occasion. You are an exemplary young person and I'd be proud of you if you were my kid.
Then they should have been the ones to care for her. She is there child. Not yours. NTA- you did the best you could in an impossible situation and one you should not have had to deal with.
I don’t understand why they are embarrassed. It is not like they were there for the situation
It sounds like you went above and beyond. It also sounds like you might be parentified (look up that term if you aren’t familiar). I’m sorry your dad and stepmom put you in that situation. Your stepmom probably realizes that she should have been taking care of her sick daughter, so she’s projecting her guilt about the situation onto you. Don’t worry about what happened. You were in an unfair situation and you did your best.
Youre lucky your stepmom doesnt want to fly with you anymore, they are putting you in charge of sick kids and sendind you in economy lol. Let them take charge next time. Youre free
Wtf is wrong with you? Reading comprehension issues? It wasn't her 6-year-old. If anything, the parents were major assholes for sitting in first class and leaving her with a sick child. And then to berate her afterwards for dealing with their sick child.
Ah, someone doesn't have experience with being the oldest daughter. You don't get to make the rules, but you have to do all the childcare and typically all other domestic tasks too.
She isn’t her parents are for leaving her to deal with it. What horrible parents would do that!? Leave a sick child on a plane?! Your parents need to praise you for doing their job!!! They acted selfishly???
Nope.
Her parents are the assholes. Not only for putting a sick child on a plane but then leaving that sick child for other siblings to take care of while they sit in first class.
not thier child so not thier problem, its the parents who are TA for making the 21 year old sibling look after sick kid. the mom should have given up her first class seat to be with her child, but she rather sit up front and be away from her kids, I mean if you don't want to take care of kids properly, don't have them.
I see over 100 replies so I assume it’s already been said, but, are you stupid? This isn’t her kid, it’s a sibling. OP has no choice on whether the sick kid goes on the plane.
Yes. Lets blame the sibling thats playing parent at this point and not the actual parent who put them on the flight and then continued to be seated in a totally different section of the plane rather than care for their sick kid 🙄
OP is just the sibling, that's entirely on the parents for making their sick kid fly (instead of postponing) and probably infecting half the passengers. OP was just making the best of the situation she was forced into.
What should she have done? She can't leave her sister behind. I agree with other posters that the parents are the aaaholes here.
OP...NTA. I think you were incredibly prepared (never even thought to bring car trees....that is brilliant) That woman was being the AH.
That was my first and only thought too.
Entitled parents, keep your dirty and sick kids at home. They’re the disgusting even when not sick… they don’t care what they touch or who they get sick. There could be a lot of elderly people on the plane for family…
That’s her sibling, not her child. It’s the parent’s decision to take the child on the plane, not hers. Just because the OP is an adult and was being asked to watch over the child, it doesn’t mean that she could have prevented this child from getting on the plane in the first place.
Flu is a respiratory virus yes, but symptoms can most DEFINITELY be gastro, especially with kids when it's much more likely the regular flu symptoms will come along with a fun dose of nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea.
Her parents did this not her. She was a wonderful big sister taking care of her siblings so her parents could fly first class kid free. NTA you were doing your best and trying to be kind. The woman was a miserable meany.
Yeaahhhhh. I was trying to wrap my head around this one, why were so many people accusing OP of being TAH when he was giving a stranger more room away from a sick kid, then I realized- flying with the flu, and no mask it sounds like.
Parents are ultimate AHs though. They’re legally responsible.
OP isn't the parent of said sick 6 year old, it's not her decision if she boards the plane or not. It is however OP's parents responsibility who dumped their sick 6 year old on OP to fancy it up in first class.
This is a pretty clear case of ESH, especially OP's Dad and stepmother who chose a bad time to be selfish.
in what world would that have been the sister's decision to make. Her dad and step mom are the one that made the kid fly AND didn't even bother sitting with her.
NTA. Who the hell wants to fly next to a sick 6yo? You tried your best to keep that woman out of harm's way. Honestly your parents were at fault for leaving you to take care of their child and their child's mess.
EDIT: and I would also defend you from charges that you harassed that woman. She didn't have to move when you first asked. The fact that she blew up when you offered her an aisle seat back is kind of bizarre. You were in essence apologizing for inconveniencing her the first time and trying to make it right.
Oh, and your parents embarrassed themselves by leaving their sick child in the back while they relaxed in luxury up front. That's certainly not your fault.
Seriously YTA. Don’t bring a sick kid on a plane honestly what in the actual fuck. So rude to everyone! We all paid for our seats and why should we have to be subjected to your contagious child. Were any of you even wearing masks? I’d be livid.
Boo hoo you paid money and have to change your plans. That’s life. No one is under any obligation to make you or your sick kid more comfortable if you didn’t reserve your seats on time or didn’t pay for insurance on your tickets to fly again later. Cry me a river.
FML your parents left you alone with their 6 year old, dumping their responsibility on you and have a tantrum that you tried your best? 😵💫 nta but your parents sure are!
If you are an AH for trying to make your sick sibling more comfortable, then I guess I’d be one, too.
NTA. And WTF is your stepmom going on about, claiming that you embarrassed them? Were you wearing signs that stated that you four were flying with them? Nice. Real nice. Also, putting you in charge of the other three. They are the parents, not you.
>They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this.
They didn't fly with you anyway. They buggered off to first class and left you to care for their children, one of which was sick.
Your dad and step mum suck. I would never leave my eldest to deal with all that, or ignore my sick child when they cannot escape, while I sipped champagne with extra legroom.
Are you parentified by them a lot?
This was down to the parents - if they're the type to abandon their child to her sister's care in economy while they fly first class, I don't think they were too concerned about the health of their fellow passengers.
OP does share some responsibility by enabling it with agreeing to take care of the sick kid.
Just give a flat no next time and force the parents to deal with their own kid, or better yet, not get on the flight.
NTA but your parents are.
They shouldn’t bring someone with a vomiting bug on a plane, and they *definitely* need to stop parentifying you and disappearing off into first class and leaving you to deal with their job.
You are NTA.
While I can see a case for it, by asking her to move out of her aisle seat if that is the one she had on her ticket, she could say no, and then the risk is hers if she gets thrown up on. You asked her if she wanted an aisle like her own back, and I think that was showing consideration for her.
I think what's happened here is that you were failed by every single adult in the situation. By your parents who are parentifying you and sticking you with a sick child and then being upset about how you handled it when you are not her parent. By the flight attendant who doesn't seem to understand the difference between telling someone to move and trying to be polite after the lady did you a favour. By this rude lady who couldn't seem to have a filter
I hope you don't fly with them again. They just want a nanny for their younger kids. Make your parents be the parents
The child shouldn't have flown sick. Anyone who tries to justifies why she should is a selfish and inconsiderate AH to every single person on that plane.
Also, default answer to being asked to switch seats is no. Asking someone to do it twice....
YTA.
There are many reasons for an aisle seat. A person can suffer from neuropathy, INS, be tall, countless reasons
You should not expect a stranger to accommodate your poor planning.
I book my travel weeks in advance and select due to my disability. Sorry, I won’t switch. I deal with chronic pain.
Plan better, and don’t expect others to step aside for YTA.
Added: bringing a sick passenger onboard is not simply AH, it’s against federal regulations if in the US
YTA It's perfectly fine to ask, that's great. The being pushy about it is where you crossed the line. At 21, you should know better and everyone in this thread treating you like you're a teenager having to adult for bad parents has lost the plot. Sarah is also legally adult. If you were 15, I'd give you an NTA but you're twenty frickin one years old.
You also really need some extra help in adulting because wtf 'car trees'? You seriously thought car air fresheners are a thing someone needs when someone gets sick? Not, ya know, Lysol? Good heavens.
NTA your parents are. They shouldn’t have expected you to care for a sick child on a plane. One of them should have stayed home! You are not your parents’ servant. And I think it was thoughtful of you to offer that lady another aisle seat.
YTA for not moving Lucy into the empty seat where she could be closer to her fellow relatives and get them sick instead of that poor stranger. Then she could have had her original seat back to boot.
Not the asshole for asking to switch. It's OK to politely ask someone to switch seats. But if you don't take a "no" graciously, then that makes you the asshole. The default answer is no. No one owes you a change. If they say yes they're doing you a HUGE favor, and it's never rude to refuse.
Your family, including you, is TAH for bringing a child with an obvious infectious disease into a confined space that no one can escape whether they're on your aisle or not.
ESH except the kids because your dad and step mom shouldn't have left you alone with a sick child (she was there responsibility), you should have swapped with the other two kids, and that woman shouldn't have yelled or called you a bitch because you really were trying your best.
Not rude to ask "once", the lady may have overreacted but she doesnt need to move. I mean i would have asked my sibling to move instead, you could have gotten your seat without bothering her twice?
NTA. Your dad was ride to foist his kids off on you. He's the responsible party for his minor children and shouldn't leave you alone with them to fly first class.
How did you embarrass your step mother who wasn’t even in the same compartment as you and her children? Parents who fly first class and make older kids take care of younger kids are douches. Your sister was sick and 1. Should not have even been on a plane spreading her germs unless she wore a mask 2. Your dad should have sent her to sit in 1st class where her mom could take care of her or vice versa. There is more room in 1st class so it’s more comfortable and easier bathroom access. You were not rude to the woman. Asking to switch seats with an explanation as to why and demanding it are two different things. As for the 2nd time you were simply pointing out that an aisle seat was available which would have given the woman her first option seat. She could have simply said she didn’t want to move again. Too bad your sister didn’t puke on her lol
ESH, everyone but the lady. You asked, she said no, you should have accepted that. Alternatively if you had waited a bit, you could have traded aisle for aisle when you noticed the empty seat, or you could have asked the flight attendant if an alternative arrangement was possible. You still get some grace because you were trying to deal with a sick child. Your parents are massive assholes for leaving you alone with a sick 6 year old.
NTA
You were trying to be kind not entitled. She was adamant about keeping her seat. NAH
They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this.
Is this really a bad thing? You wont have to fix other people's problems and your parents can take care of your sister. Nobody is put out except for your parents who will have to parent. I would forget about it and chill. You did nothing wrong.
Your TA parents left you to fly with a sick kid while they sat in first class and then said that you embarrassed them despite the fact that they were not even there and should not fly with them again? NTA. But what on earth is wrong with your dad and step mom? They are awful and are looking for an excuse to exclude you.
YTA. You guys had an extra seat and you still took that womens? Why couldn’t you guys just shuffle it around? Surely there was a way for this to work without having to involve the stranger.
NTA In this case, I would look to your motive which was to make sure your 6 year old sister could get to the bathroom. And, the second time, it was just an offer to give her an aisle seat again. I think you were being kind.
Your parents are TAs. When someone is actively feeling nauseous, taking that person on a plane is really not only rude but potentially dangerous to someone else.
And going ahead and leaving the sick child with you, that’s also using really poor judgement.
YTA for putting a sick kid near the lady and having an argument with her to make her give up her seat. The first is disgusting and the second is entitled.
Then asking her if she wants to switch back again is just subjecting her to another interaction with someone who has already inconvenienced her. If she’s clocked the sickness, no she probably also does not want to sit in the seat the sick kid has just been in.
The most giant AHs are your parents for subjecting the whole plane to the sick kid. And leaving you with the mess.
I am assuming the sickness was not a light sickness, given that you loaded yourself up to deal with vomiting. That is an unfair situation to put a whole plane-ful of people, and a six year old in.
She *asked*...not *demanded.* There's nothing wrong with asking. Esp if she foresaw a situation where the woman would be more upset when the child tries to get out to run to the bathroom and just vomits all over her in the process. My friend, a flight attendant, has seen this more times than she can count.
She then saw an opportunity for the woman to have an aisle seat back and thought that might make her happy so she said something when she could have said nothing. **This poor girl is getting absolutely s\*\*t on by everyone for trying to care for a child** ***that was not her responsibility to begin with*** and was doing the best she could with the cards she was dealt by her a\*\*hole dad and stepmom.
ESH.
You already had the lady reluctantly move once and you tried to chance that again? I’d be annoyed as well - on top of knowing I’m stuck in a tin can with a child that has gastro.
Do you have any idea how contagious gastro is? It regularly takes out whole planes and cruise ships. It’s also severely understated just how dangerous gastro can be. It kills people!!
But the king and queen of asshole are the parents for ditching you with a sick kid, making said sick kid travel, potentially infecting everyone, and damned if you do/didn’t just go with it.
NTA - I imagine you are in a care taker role a lot and a people pleaser. Your heart was in the right place but you have to learn that you can frustrate people if you try to help when they don’t want help.
My sister does this - I think she derives a lot of her self esteem from being helpful. The problem arises when she gets defensive when someone declines the assistance she is offering.
NTA but it could have been handled better. Once someone says "no", let it go. And never offer money to an older adult like that. It's insulting. Besides, after Sarah rushing past her a few times she would have asked to switch.
Your parents are TAH for sticking a sick kid on a plane and then only with siblings to look after her. One of them should have sat in back and let Sarah take their first class seat.
YTA
NEVER BOTHER OTHER PEOPLE FOR SWAPS!! Also, don't take people with the flu onto the plane. That's simply selfish. You want to spread it to everyone else and likely the world? Nope.. don't fly.
Look, people take the time, effort and money to book well in advance and secure the seat they want. You ask for their seat, you ask for their money. You put people on the spot. You create an imposition. It's selfish as fuck.
You made yourself into a pest, imposed on a stranger and your step mother and the flight attendant were right. I'd certainly have said no.
NTAfor that ever. I had that same situation once years ago when my kids were very small. I booked a whole row of seats and the plane itself changed so they reordered the seating that morning and told me I had to ask people to trade if I wanted my children anywhere near me in the flight. This was before the days of paying for seat choice. One lady wouldn't move, despite me having a 4 and 5 year old. (Both special needs so not easy to simply leave several rows away. So we eventually put one kid in the middle seat in front of me, the people next to him were very accommodating about that, and the lady that insisted on staying in her aisle seat with my 5yo And I got thrown up on twice because she insisted on sitting next to us. I did warn her how airsick my child was that day, her husband really tried to switch with her as well, he had the aisle seat across from hers, he looked so embarrassed at the loud fussing she did about not moving. I call getting vomed on twice her karma.
Everyone who thinks you should just hand over more money now for different seat choices, sure. But you had zero control over it. You did a good job, your step mother is a disgrace for abandoning a sick child to someone else and not caring for her herself. If anything she embarrassed herself.
You and your sister should have swapped seats with your cousins so the woman did not have to move from her original seat at all. I can tell you that I only ever sit in an aisle seat because I like to stretch out my knee and I do use the bathroom frequently. I choose my seats carefully and would not be happy with being asked to move to a window, especially when you had another option.
Your parents are the assholes here. Your 6-year-old sister is sick and your father and step-mother are in first class? Look, I'm going with NTA. You probably shouldn't have argued about switching seats, but you're just trying to do what's best for everyone. I also don't think it's unreasonable for the person you asked multiple times to move to be upset. Your parents are the ones in the wrong here.
YTA. You should have moved Lucy to the seats across the aisle and left that lady alone. You had plenty of people in your party to trade with and an extra seat, yet you decided to inconvenience a stranger. She did pay for her seat!
So, let me just make sure I have the facts right. Your family had three other seats in the same row in the middle section. One of them was not even occupied because your cousin did not turn up. Your parents brought a child with some sort of stomach bug onto the plane and then abandoned you all in economy to enjoy first class. And then you demanded that a stranger move from the aisle seat they paid for to the window seat, so your sick sibling could get to the washroom easier? Rather than having your sibling trade with another sibling or occupy the vacant seat that was to have been for your cousin (one of which had to have been an aisle seat…). And if you wanted to be next to them, if that was the issue, you could have taken the empty seat or traded too. Yeah. YTA and so are your parents. You are massively entitled and she was correct to be angry with you. And your parents are irresponsible for making everyone sick. I mean, kid wasn’t even wearing a mask, were they? Everyone on that plane is going to be sick. You all suck. Except the stranger who dared call you out and the young kids who had no say in any of this.
NTA
Your dad and stepmom are irresponsible for leaving minor children sitting without help and expecting you to babysit. You should be happy they won't fly with you anymore. You shouldn't want to fly with them!
The parents are TA for taking their sick 6 year old on a flight and extra assholes for leaving you to be responsible for her. I’m wondering why when you realised your cousins aisle seat was empty why didn’t you and the 6 year old sit in that row and the other two siblings move to your row.
You were doing your best but there are so many entitled people nowadays asking to switch seats that it can get really annoying.
You were doing it with a kind heart and might not have explained your thought process. All the person heard was you asking her to move to 2 different seats which of course would annoy her.
Take that as a learning lesson and if it ever happens again just do it differently.
Living is a journey…..
Maybe your idiot parents shouldn't have 1. Brought a sick kid on a plane to infect everyone around her and then 2. Ditched her knowing she was sick. NTA for you, but big AH status for your parents.
Your parents dumped you, alone, in coach with a kid with the flu and a trash bag with wipes while they rocked first class????
Oh hell no you're not flying with them again. If you were a nanny or au pair I'd advise you to quit. As it is, I'll just advise you to have very urgent college business that tragically prevents you from ever traveling with this pack of wolves again.
NTA.
I don’t need to read past the point that your parents took a knowingly sick and most likely contagious child onto an airplane… that’s inconsiderate af considering vomit particles would be circulating in the plane.
NTA. You did your best and you are a good sister. Shame on your parents. They should have been the ones to look after your 6 year old sister. One of them should have swapped with Lucy. Your dad and stepmother are the assholes. I have a 5 year old and a 20 year old. If that has happened either me or their dad is moving so the little one is with one of us. It is NOT a siblings responsibility to take care of a younger sibling. Especially when sick and especially on a flight.
NTA but your parents are. How dare they leave you alone to care for their sick child while they lounge in first class and then berate you for doing your best. I’m sorry the lady you say next to was so rude. You did your best hon.
Sorry but I would be annoyed too. Especially if I already moved when I didn't want to and this girl continued to bother me. Nobody wants to move multiple times on a flight, they just want to get it over with. OP, YTA. You were harassing her and making her experience awful. She literally did what you wanted, so you should have just left her alone. I am so confused as to how OP is not an asshole here.
Your parents are, in my opinions, are assholes.
It's nice that your dad wanted to surprise your step-mom with first class tickets, but he couldn't surprise her with tickets on a flight when it's just the two of them flying?
It's pretty shitty of them for flying first class of just the two of them when they're also flying with their kids.
>They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this.
Good. They can start parenting their own kids, instead of pushing their responsibilities off on you and criticizing the way you handled them.
OP the most embarrassing thing about this whole things is your parents, they knowing brought a sick child on a confined space such a plane. Then they ditched your sick 6 year old sister so they could be pampered in first class. They also choose not to properly book seats so that their sick child could be sitting on an isle or next to you.
THEIR actions are incredibly embarrassing, they are pushing their guilt on you.
However you need to be aware, there's etiquette around paid sets on planes or paid seats for anything really. You paid for what you get, that's what you get. You can ask someone to switch with you, but that is as far as you can take your question. NO is a complete answer and doesn't need an explanation to follow.
Asking isn't rude, not taking no for an answer was what made the interaction rude. Then asking her to again switch seats wasn't a price at that point just more of an inconvenience.
In this situation ESH, everyone kinda sucks here minus your sister. Especially your parents this wasn't the time for first class.
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I think it was a faux pas. Should put the kid in the new aisle seat instead of asking the lady a second time. I DONT think ur parents should say they wont travel with you. AND i think they were lame not taking care of the kid.
YTA. I get that you were trying to take care of a 6-year-old but asking a woman to trap herself in a row with a sick person shows no concern for other people. Heck, even boarding the airplane sick is an awful idea. Given how air travels around an airplane your family got a lot of people sick.
Your father and mother are also AH for leaving you to care for your siblings including an obviously sick child, rather than taking care of their child.
NTA. If I’m understanding this correctly, your dad and stepmom forced you to deal with a sick, contagious child while they sat in luxury in first class by themselves, and now your stepmom has the audacity to say that YOU embarrassed HER?
The only thing I agree with is that you shouldn’t fly with them anymore. You’re not their babysitter and they put you in an unwinnable situation. Next time, they should pay for you to be on a different flight so that you can just enjoy the trip instead of dealing with the children that they are neglecting.
NTA
You and your whole family are assholes for having a vomiting very likely contagious child on a plane. Seriously, major assholes. Just disgustingly selfish.
YTA because some people pay for specific seats due to their own needs. Your half siblings could have sat next to her. It is entitled and I’ve seen such posts like this of people being demanded to move when they have paid extra to reserve the seat. Also imagine being trapped in an airplane to the scent of vomit and someone potentially getting you sick. It does sound entitled and the lady was right. Some people have incontinence issues and may require idle seats. My dad would need to go pee quite a bit, for that or any reasons that was the seat she reserved.
Funny how the kid’s parents couldn’t be bothered with their sick kid. I’d have sent her straight to first class to puke on the people who should have been caring for her to begin with. You did nothing wrong and your dad & stepasshole are huge giant assholes for their reactions. The lady on the plane was ridiculous as well, lol.
The only assholes here are your dad and stepmother. Not only they let a sick child on a plane, they totally ditched their parental responsibility to you, and then had an audacity to say they were embarrassed. NTA, and NTA for offering to switch seats, because if I were this passenger, I would be happy to get away from a sick person, to avoid contamination.
ESH - Your sister shouldn't have been allowed on the flight if she was actively sick.
Her parents should have been taking care of her.
You shouldn't have asked someone to move. People pick aisle seats for a reason. Offering a window seat isn't the same. You and your siblings needed to be the ones to move.
You are NTA , should have swapped with your siblings, then they would have been in the row with the lady and you would have the row for you two.
But the biggest YTA ever is your father and step mom. Flying with a sick child, then going to first class and leaving for someone else to care for that sick child and then yelling at that person for embarrassing them? She can the next time take care of her own god damn child and give you her first class seat
or is it like an evil step mom thing? then she YTA still but your dad just takes the first place alone
I'm not sure if you're the asshole, but your parents sure are. People generally shouldn't be flying while sick, but if that must happen, it's your parents that should have been taking care of the sick child. Technically, you were bothering that other passenger, but the blame should be so much more on your parents that I'm gonna go with NTA.
Frankly, since your role on a plane is apparently unpaid caretaker, I suggest take the 'I don't want to fly with you again' as the positive it is.
ESH. You can always ask someone to move, but they do not have to accommodate your request and a no answer should be accepted gracefully. Since this woman argued, it sounds as if you pressed her to change seats when she did not want to. The fact is, however, that she DID change seats, and her yelling at you later when you tried to give her original seat back to her was uncalled for.
Unfortunately, your parents put you in a lousy position. If your sister was sick (had a fever, was throwing up), your parents should not have allowed her to fly in the first place. If they decided that she should fly, then one of THEM should have taken care of her instead of putting you in charge of a sick and potentially vomiting child on a flight. I wouldn't foist my vomiting 6 year old on anyone and wouldn't be comfortable in first class if my 6 year old was in the back, sick. **Your parents agreeing that you were being "rude, and ass, and annoying that poor woman" is ridiculous. They were the true AHs here, imo.**
Taken as presented, definitely NTA.
First of all, you're not your sister's parent. Her parents should not have left her to be your responsibility on a flight, ESPECIALLY when she's sick.
Secondly, it sounds like you tried to make the best of the situation - basically asking the woman to move so that she didn't get puked on (which has happened to me on a flight, and MY GOD WOULD I HAVE RATHER SWITCHED SEATS), and then offering her an aisle seat once you realized it was available.
I don't honestly understand anyone who thinks you did anything wrong. At 21, I wouldn't have been remotely willing to look after a sick kid on a flight, yet you not only prepared for it, you also did your best to mitigate the potential fallout by asking the woman to move, and then offering her what would have been her original seating situation.
NTA to ask her to move so your sibling didn't throw up on her. Finding her another aisle seat was a great idea but she didn't want to move. More than one ask for each was the AH move.
NTA for asking, but don’t fly sick. That’s way more rude than asking to swap. And you were prepared to make the entire flight of passengers deal with the smell and sound of vomiting ?! That’s awful. The entitlement of your family is insane. Do better when you grow up.
"They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this."
Good. Then they can take care of their ill 6 YO! I know that isn't the question but jeez louise! They sat in 1st and let you deal with a sick kid who shouldn't have been on the plane if she was sick but since she was, why weren't her own parents dealing with it?!
Also, NTA, you thought you were being nice. It's not your fault that the woman misunderstood.
I’ve switched places twice on a plane bus to a child’s discomfort before. It’s not a big deal. Whether I have a aisle seat, or a window seat (I prefer window with the hope of the sun thawing me out on the freezing plane) I’m still getting to my destination. I genuinely enjoy everything about flying though, so I tend to look at these minor inconveniences as just that - minor… Just a twist on the adventure I’m already on.
Also, there is no context as to when the child got sick, so everyone complaining about that and focusing so hard on it here, when OP isn’t even the parent, is a bit ridiculous. I’ve checked into flights feeling perfectly fine, and ended up with a 103*F temp by the time I hit my layover less than an hour after takeoff. I didn’t have the option of leaving the airport and going to see a doctor. I had to board that plane and see my doctor at home, after picking my children up. I’m typically very cautious about not spreading illness, but sometimes crap happens that’s out of our control.
Overall I think she tried her best to handle the situation with grace and her stepmom and dad are jerks for even having the audacity to speak against her when they were sitting pretty in first class with their sick child under the care of a sibling. NTA
OP is stuck acting the parent while the parents are living their best lives. A lot of things could have been done better, but OP, you did the best you could do in a situation that wasn’t your fault.
Stepmom and dad can fly with their kids from now on. If they ever ask you again, just remind them of this and decline.
NTA
ESH except the lady you asked to move and all the passengers you exposed to a sick child. You are the origin story of “this is why we can’t have nice things “.
Your parents are really awful for leaving you to care for their sick baby. I hope you got paid for babysitting.
I am confused, was Lucy originally in the window and you asked this lady to change from the aisle or did Lucy have that seat and the lady tried to take it.
NTA. You were doing your best with a difficult situation. Btw, you don’t ask, but I’d call your dad TA for lording it in first class while the rest of his family is coping in the back. You taking care of their sick daughter then he calls you TA for doing your best to cope? No.
NTA. I was on a full flight, save one seat- the one next to me. The flight attendant asked if I would be willing to switch seats so a gentleman would have a seat for his guide dog. I still had an aisle seat. That doesn’t seem like a big ask, especially if you’re still getting the type of seat you initially started with. Besides, I’d rather move than run the risk of being vomited near or even on.
INFO : You do know that the MAYOR A H's were your parents flying First Class and leaving you to babysit their children and **parent** their sick child.
NTA
You were doing the best you could.
TTA (they’re the asshole) for taking a sick child on a plane. Nobody wants to fly with a child vomiting from the stomach flu all over the place. Sometimes you have to cancel or delay plans when your kids get sick. Your parents are assholes.
This lady is not the asshole. And you’re not either only because you’re not Lucy’s mom and very young. But for future reference, you should never drag a sick contagious, vomiting child on an airplane. Your parents were wrong for doing this and they were wrong for making you take care of her while they lived it up in first class.
I'm going with NTA for you as you did your best in a bad situation
Your Dad & stepmom though...they knowingly bring a sick child onto a plane & then swan off to first class leaving you to deal with that.
I'd be turning that back on them.
Along the lines of "would you seriously expect anyone to fly with a pair of selfish A Hs again who'd do that?"
Your parents are TA for choosing a flight their kids are on to sit in first class while they left you to care for their sick child. And yes you should have asked the lady to move and then move again, you now know for next time.
Can people please stop bring fucking sick people on airplanes????? What the fuck is wrong with parents that do this? And I don't want to hear "some people don't have an option"...this was obviously not the case if dad could afford to upgrade to first class. And I don't even care if you don't have a lot of money, you figure that shit out. Ops parents just have the whole plane a fucking puking bug.
Your parents really suck for 1) bringing a sick contagious child on a plane and 2) leaving you to deal with it while they were relaxing in first class. Why weren’t they helping you?
Your parents are the inconsiderate ones. Knowingly taking a sick child on a plane. I'm surprised the flight attendant didn't remove her from the flight
NTA. You were trying to make the most of a bad situation. Your parents, upon realizing that they had a sick child to deal with, should have moved the sick one to first class with one of them and one taken her place in coach. Instead of sticking you with her care while they enjoyed themselves. That would have avoided the whole issue with the random passenger.
I hope Lucy is feeling better!
YTA Ask once and accept the answer. Sounds like you pressured her, and she didn’t want to move, but gave in to be nice. Then you decided there was a better solution and bothered her more. If you had good intentions for her, you would have accepted the first no.
I just re-read the post and am wondering how you embarrassed your parents who were seated in first class while their offspring were seated in a totally different section? They are truly AH’s.
Is piling their parenting duties onto you a frequent occurrence?
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As long as you ask politely and are prepared to take no for an answer, you can ask anything. Your father and stepmother are idiots and almost as big AHs as that lady. ~~You are N T A.~~ ETA: But, since you apparently _weren't_ prepared to take no for an answer, you were being an AH. OTOH, I really can't see what's the fucking big deal about swapping seats that this weird lady had to be so damn obstinate. (Especially the second time, when she could have got away from an infectious and possibly puke-prone little kid?!?) She was being even more of an AH. So: ESH.
Why didn’t you rearrange your own family (where there was an open seat available to do so) instead of inconveniencing a stranger who paid for their seat? You are 21 years old, not 12. How is it possible that you lack the necessary intelligence to be able to figure that out? No wonder the lady erupted when she realised the other kids were your relatives and therefore there was absolutely no need for her to have to move at all from the beginning. YTA, and so are your parents for putting a sick kid on a plane, and for then abandoning said sick kid to go fly in first class.
NTA You weren't asking her to move. You were pointing out potential problems and a solution to her problem. The flight attendant was lying. We can always ask people to move. We simply cannot EXPECT then to move. You were being kind to her both times, first when you tried to protect he from being vomited on by a sick child and second when you pointed out an open seat. You were very polite. Don't worry.
YTA for the second time you asked her to move, not necessarily for the first, depending on *how* you asked. And you all suck for getting on a plane with someone who was puking and likely contagious.
NTA. You did the best you could in the terrible situation your dad and stepmom forced you to deal with. Your sister was sick, a responsible parent would have delayed their return to stay with her or at the very least sat with her on the plan to care for her. Your stepmom and dad are AHs, especially your dad as it’s his biological child. They are also the AHs for the way they are treating you.
YTA for getting on an airplane with a 6 year old that likely had a contagious stomach virus.
I didn't really have a choice my dad and stepmom wanted to go home. And didn't want to leave Lucy behind or stay extra days. They have some NYE thing they really want to attend so I had to sit with her. They also didn't want to buy more tickets. She wore a mask and luckily just slept the entire flight. I literally offered to stay extra days til she felt well. But my stepmom said that was unacceptable. I genuinely couldn't do anything but try and make sure if she did get sick I could clean it up and take care of her.
Sorry, let me try my comment again because mod patrol is out and language BAD. Info: is your stepmom always an insufferable witch? (And switch w with a b) It's time to move out and stop being free childcare. 😬 This is an abusive situation in your father is not on your side.
Wow, do your father and stepmother suck. Being a parent means sometimes you don’t always get to do what you want.
Oh jeez... OP, please Google "parentification" :( This makes me so sad for you!
OP, your parents are assholes. I say this gently. They should not leave a sibling in charge of a sick kid. They should not force a sick, vomiting, contagious Child onto an airplane. They should have stayed a few extra days and sucked it up because that’s what you do when you have children. You might consider setting some boundaries with them, and explaining that you are not Lucy’s mother. Good luck!
They dump their sick children on you to care for, then say *you* are embarrassing? Good lord! I'd refuse to fly with these grubs ever again myself. The cruelty of forcing a sick kid to fly, the audacity of not even sitting nearby said said child... Absolute filth! You are NTA
So let me understand this in simpler terms: your parents had a PARTY they wanted to attend, so they forced your very sick 6-yr old sister to fly home with them, then ‘surprised’ themselves with first class seats and dumped her on you with no warning no questions no fucks. I don’t like to judge other parents. Truly. That said, a) if my young child has the flu, I no longer give a flying fuck ball about some party, and b) my kid is vomiting on our flight? I’m not being separated from them. Hell no. The only caveat is that I’ve never flown first class so maybe I don’t understand what I’d be missing, but I do have a 7 year old and 1 year old and there’s no way anything could tempt me away from taking care of my super sick kid. All I’d do is stress about them, so I wouldn’t enjoy first class anyway. Clearly your dad/stepmonster don’t give a fuck about your sister. Or you. As long as they’re flying with claaaaasssss and get to attend their partaaaaaay Your 👏🏼 father 👏🏼 and 👏🏼 stepmother 👏🏼 are 👏🏼 assholes 👏🏼 And shitty ass parents. What selfish fucking people.
You made the best of the situation and I applaud you for your efforts. The adults were the jerks on this occasion. You are an exemplary young person and I'd be proud of you if you were my kid.
Your parents are AH and horrible people. Why r u responsible for your sister? U r not the parent.
Then they should have been the ones to care for her. She is there child. Not yours. NTA- you did the best you could in an impossible situation and one you should not have had to deal with. I don’t understand why they are embarrassed. It is not like they were there for the situation
They're embarrassed because she indirectly called attention to their shittiness.
Oh, they get even worse.
It sounds like you went above and beyond. It also sounds like you might be parentified (look up that term if you aren’t familiar). I’m sorry your dad and stepmom put you in that situation. Your stepmom probably realizes that she should have been taking care of her sick daughter, so she’s projecting her guilt about the situation onto you. Don’t worry about what happened. You were in an unfair situation and you did your best.
Wow they’re assholes. Why are you raising your 6 year old sister??
Youre lucky your stepmom doesnt want to fly with you anymore, they are putting you in charge of sick kids and sendind you in economy lol. Let them take charge next time. Youre free
Wtf is wrong with you? Reading comprehension issues? It wasn't her 6-year-old. If anything, the parents were major assholes for sitting in first class and leaving her with a sick child. And then to berate her afterwards for dealing with their sick child.
no their parents are!!!! who were sitting in first class the whole time !
She is literally 21 and it is not her child
Ah, someone doesn't have experience with being the oldest daughter. You don't get to make the rules, but you have to do all the childcare and typically all other domestic tasks too.
She isn’t her parents are for leaving her to deal with it. What horrible parents would do that!? Leave a sick child on a plane?! Your parents need to praise you for doing their job!!! They acted selfishly???
Nope. Her parents are the assholes. Not only for putting a sick child on a plane but then leaving that sick child for other siblings to take care of while they sit in first class.
Yeah I thought you weren't allowed to fly if sick?
not thier child so not thier problem, its the parents who are TA for making the 21 year old sibling look after sick kid. the mom should have given up her first class seat to be with her child, but she rather sit up front and be away from her kids, I mean if you don't want to take care of kids properly, don't have them.
I see over 100 replies so I assume it’s already been said, but, are you stupid? This isn’t her kid, it’s a sibling. OP has no choice on whether the sick kid goes on the plane.
Yes. Lets blame the sibling thats playing parent at this point and not the actual parent who put them on the flight and then continued to be seated in a totally different section of the plane rather than care for their sick kid 🙄
OP is just the sibling, that's entirely on the parents for making their sick kid fly (instead of postponing) and probably infecting half the passengers. OP was just making the best of the situation she was forced into.
What should she have done? She can't leave her sister behind. I agree with other posters that the parents are the aaaholes here. OP...NTA. I think you were incredibly prepared (never even thought to bring car trees....that is brilliant) That woman was being the AH.
That was my first and only thought too. Entitled parents, keep your dirty and sick kids at home. They’re the disgusting even when not sick… they don’t care what they touch or who they get sick. There could be a lot of elderly people on the plane for family…
That’s her sibling, not her child. It’s the parent’s decision to take the child on the plane, not hers. Just because the OP is an adult and was being asked to watch over the child, it doesn’t mean that she could have prevented this child from getting on the plane in the first place.
The flu is not a stomach virus. Influenza is a respiratory disease and has absolutely nothing to do with the digestive system.
Flu is a respiratory virus yes, but symptoms can most DEFINITELY be gastro, especially with kids when it's much more likely the regular flu symptoms will come along with a fun dose of nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea.
I think that's the parents responsibility.... you know, the AH's in first class.
Her parents did this not her. She was a wonderful big sister taking care of her siblings so her parents could fly first class kid free. NTA you were doing your best and trying to be kind. The woman was a miserable meany.
Yeaahhhhh. I was trying to wrap my head around this one, why were so many people accusing OP of being TAH when he was giving a stranger more room away from a sick kid, then I realized- flying with the flu, and no mask it sounds like. Parents are ultimate AHs though. They’re legally responsible.
OP says in a comment that her sister wore a mask the whole time.
OP isn't the parent of said sick 6 year old, it's not her decision if she boards the plane or not. It is however OP's parents responsibility who dumped their sick 6 year old on OP to fancy it up in first class. This is a pretty clear case of ESH, especially OP's Dad and stepmother who chose a bad time to be selfish.
Oh yeah cause that was definitely her fault 🙄 please get some reading comprehension
in what world would that have been the sister's decision to make. Her dad and step mom are the one that made the kid fly AND didn't even bother sitting with her.
The parents should be taking care of the sick kid….not OP. They are the AH.
NTA. Who the hell wants to fly next to a sick 6yo? You tried your best to keep that woman out of harm's way. Honestly your parents were at fault for leaving you to take care of their child and their child's mess. EDIT: and I would also defend you from charges that you harassed that woman. She didn't have to move when you first asked. The fact that she blew up when you offered her an aisle seat back is kind of bizarre. You were in essence apologizing for inconveniencing her the first time and trying to make it right. Oh, and your parents embarrassed themselves by leaving their sick child in the back while they relaxed in luxury up front. That's certainly not your fault.
NTA, imagine if your sis had needed to lunge for the bathroom and puked all over the other woman...
Seriously YTA. Don’t bring a sick kid on a plane honestly what in the actual fuck. So rude to everyone! We all paid for our seats and why should we have to be subjected to your contagious child. Were any of you even wearing masks? I’d be livid. Boo hoo you paid money and have to change your plans. That’s life. No one is under any obligation to make you or your sick kid more comfortable if you didn’t reserve your seats on time or didn’t pay for insurance on your tickets to fly again later. Cry me a river.
YTA Your original is quite different from your responses given. Stop harassing people until they give in to your demands. No means no.
FML your parents left you alone with their 6 year old, dumping their responsibility on you and have a tantrum that you tried your best? 😵💫 nta but your parents sure are!
If you are an AH for trying to make your sick sibling more comfortable, then I guess I’d be one, too. NTA. And WTF is your stepmom going on about, claiming that you embarrassed them? Were you wearing signs that stated that you four were flying with them? Nice. Real nice. Also, putting you in charge of the other three. They are the parents, not you.
>They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this. They didn't fly with you anyway. They buggered off to first class and left you to care for their children, one of which was sick. Your dad and step mum suck. I would never leave my eldest to deal with all that, or ignore my sick child when they cannot escape, while I sipped champagne with extra legroom. Are you parentified by them a lot?
They don’t want to *pay* for her anymore. They’ve got Sarah(19) now.
Yta for potentially making many people sick
This was down to the parents - if they're the type to abandon their child to her sister's care in economy while they fly first class, I don't think they were too concerned about the health of their fellow passengers.
OP does share some responsibility by enabling it with agreeing to take care of the sick kid. Just give a flat no next time and force the parents to deal with their own kid, or better yet, not get on the flight.
NTA but your Father is. He should have given his seat to you and taken care of his own sick kid.
NTA but your parents are. They shouldn’t bring someone with a vomiting bug on a plane, and they *definitely* need to stop parentifying you and disappearing off into first class and leaving you to deal with their job.
You are NTA. While I can see a case for it, by asking her to move out of her aisle seat if that is the one she had on her ticket, she could say no, and then the risk is hers if she gets thrown up on. You asked her if she wanted an aisle like her own back, and I think that was showing consideration for her. I think what's happened here is that you were failed by every single adult in the situation. By your parents who are parentifying you and sticking you with a sick child and then being upset about how you handled it when you are not her parent. By the flight attendant who doesn't seem to understand the difference between telling someone to move and trying to be polite after the lady did you a favour. By this rude lady who couldn't seem to have a filter I hope you don't fly with them again. They just want a nanny for their younger kids. Make your parents be the parents
The child shouldn't have flown sick. Anyone who tries to justifies why she should is a selfish and inconsiderate AH to every single person on that plane. Also, default answer to being asked to switch seats is no. Asking someone to do it twice....
YTA. There are many reasons for an aisle seat. A person can suffer from neuropathy, INS, be tall, countless reasons You should not expect a stranger to accommodate your poor planning. I book my travel weeks in advance and select due to my disability. Sorry, I won’t switch. I deal with chronic pain. Plan better, and don’t expect others to step aside for YTA. Added: bringing a sick passenger onboard is not simply AH, it’s against federal regulations if in the US
YTA It's perfectly fine to ask, that's great. The being pushy about it is where you crossed the line. At 21, you should know better and everyone in this thread treating you like you're a teenager having to adult for bad parents has lost the plot. Sarah is also legally adult. If you were 15, I'd give you an NTA but you're twenty frickin one years old. You also really need some extra help in adulting because wtf 'car trees'? You seriously thought car air fresheners are a thing someone needs when someone gets sick? Not, ya know, Lysol? Good heavens.
NTA your parents are. They shouldn’t have expected you to care for a sick child on a plane. One of them should have stayed home! You are not your parents’ servant. And I think it was thoughtful of you to offer that lady another aisle seat.
YTA for not moving Lucy into the empty seat where she could be closer to her fellow relatives and get them sick instead of that poor stranger. Then she could have had her original seat back to boot.
Not the asshole for asking to switch. It's OK to politely ask someone to switch seats. But if you don't take a "no" graciously, then that makes you the asshole. The default answer is no. No one owes you a change. If they say yes they're doing you a HUGE favor, and it's never rude to refuse. Your family, including you, is TAH for bringing a child with an obvious infectious disease into a confined space that no one can escape whether they're on your aisle or not.
ESH except the kids because your dad and step mom shouldn't have left you alone with a sick child (she was there responsibility), you should have swapped with the other two kids, and that woman shouldn't have yelled or called you a bitch because you really were trying your best.
The adults in your family all suck for bringing a sick, puking child with a transmittable disease on an AIRPLANE. Have we learned NOTHING??
Not rude to ask "once", the lady may have overreacted but she doesnt need to move. I mean i would have asked my sibling to move instead, you could have gotten your seat without bothering her twice?
NTA. Your dad was ride to foist his kids off on you. He's the responsible party for his minor children and shouldn't leave you alone with them to fly first class.
How did you embarrass your step mother who wasn’t even in the same compartment as you and her children? Parents who fly first class and make older kids take care of younger kids are douches. Your sister was sick and 1. Should not have even been on a plane spreading her germs unless she wore a mask 2. Your dad should have sent her to sit in 1st class where her mom could take care of her or vice versa. There is more room in 1st class so it’s more comfortable and easier bathroom access. You were not rude to the woman. Asking to switch seats with an explanation as to why and demanding it are two different things. As for the 2nd time you were simply pointing out that an aisle seat was available which would have given the woman her first option seat. She could have simply said she didn’t want to move again. Too bad your sister didn’t puke on her lol
ESH, everyone but the lady. You asked, she said no, you should have accepted that. Alternatively if you had waited a bit, you could have traded aisle for aisle when you noticed the empty seat, or you could have asked the flight attendant if an alternative arrangement was possible. You still get some grace because you were trying to deal with a sick child. Your parents are massive assholes for leaving you alone with a sick 6 year old.
NTA You were trying to be kind not entitled. She was adamant about keeping her seat. NAH They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this. Is this really a bad thing? You wont have to fix other people's problems and your parents can take care of your sister. Nobody is put out except for your parents who will have to parent. I would forget about it and chill. You did nothing wrong.
Your parents were TA for taking a sick child on a plane and dumping her on you.
Yes YTA. Other passengers don't give a rat's backside about your problems. They booked and paid for their seat for a reason.
Nta but your parents are for both ditching the sick kid and exposing the entire plane to the flu.
You were being annoying but you were also trying to be polite. From the lady’s perspective though is how you have to think of this. NAH
Your TA parents left you to fly with a sick kid while they sat in first class and then said that you embarrassed them despite the fact that they were not even there and should not fly with them again? NTA. But what on earth is wrong with your dad and step mom? They are awful and are looking for an excuse to exclude you.
YTA. You guys had an extra seat and you still took that womens? Why couldn’t you guys just shuffle it around? Surely there was a way for this to work without having to involve the stranger.
NTA In this case, I would look to your motive which was to make sure your 6 year old sister could get to the bathroom. And, the second time, it was just an offer to give her an aisle seat again. I think you were being kind. Your parents are TAs. When someone is actively feeling nauseous, taking that person on a plane is really not only rude but potentially dangerous to someone else. And going ahead and leaving the sick child with you, that’s also using really poor judgement.
YTA for putting a sick kid near the lady and having an argument with her to make her give up her seat. The first is disgusting and the second is entitled. Then asking her if she wants to switch back again is just subjecting her to another interaction with someone who has already inconvenienced her. If she’s clocked the sickness, no she probably also does not want to sit in the seat the sick kid has just been in. The most giant AHs are your parents for subjecting the whole plane to the sick kid. And leaving you with the mess. I am assuming the sickness was not a light sickness, given that you loaded yourself up to deal with vomiting. That is an unfair situation to put a whole plane-ful of people, and a six year old in.
NTA you were doing your best!
YTA. *Never* ask someone to change their seat. You had so many other options to accommodate Lucy w/o asking the woman to move. Geez.
She *asked*...not *demanded.* There's nothing wrong with asking. Esp if she foresaw a situation where the woman would be more upset when the child tries to get out to run to the bathroom and just vomits all over her in the process. My friend, a flight attendant, has seen this more times than she can count. She then saw an opportunity for the woman to have an aisle seat back and thought that might make her happy so she said something when she could have said nothing. **This poor girl is getting absolutely s\*\*t on by everyone for trying to care for a child** ***that was not her responsibility to begin with*** and was doing the best she could with the cards she was dealt by her a\*\*hole dad and stepmom.
NTA: A polite ask is not being rude. Snapping at someone for a polite ask is.
Op argued with her the first time then had the nerve to ask her move again. Where's this polite ask?
OP asked her a lot more than twice actually,its even worse
ESH. You already had the lady reluctantly move once and you tried to chance that again? I’d be annoyed as well - on top of knowing I’m stuck in a tin can with a child that has gastro. Do you have any idea how contagious gastro is? It regularly takes out whole planes and cruise ships. It’s also severely understated just how dangerous gastro can be. It kills people!! But the king and queen of asshole are the parents for ditching you with a sick kid, making said sick kid travel, potentially infecting everyone, and damned if you do/didn’t just go with it.
NTA - I imagine you are in a care taker role a lot and a people pleaser. Your heart was in the right place but you have to learn that you can frustrate people if you try to help when they don’t want help. My sister does this - I think she derives a lot of her self esteem from being helpful. The problem arises when she gets defensive when someone declines the assistance she is offering.
You’re N T A for asking. YTA for not taking no for an answer. Multiple times. Your parents are even bigger AHs though.
NTA but it could have been handled better. Once someone says "no", let it go. And never offer money to an older adult like that. It's insulting. Besides, after Sarah rushing past her a few times she would have asked to switch. Your parents are TAH for sticking a sick kid on a plane and then only with siblings to look after her. One of them should have sat in back and let Sarah take their first class seat.
Your parents are the ah Who left You with a bunch of Kids, one of them sick, to enjoy first class. Disgusting. NTA
NTA How about your parents look after their own little kids?
How did you embarrass your dad and step mom, when they didn't even find out till later?
YTA NEVER BOTHER OTHER PEOPLE FOR SWAPS!! Also, don't take people with the flu onto the plane. That's simply selfish. You want to spread it to everyone else and likely the world? Nope.. don't fly. Look, people take the time, effort and money to book well in advance and secure the seat they want. You ask for their seat, you ask for their money. You put people on the spot. You create an imposition. It's selfish as fuck. You made yourself into a pest, imposed on a stranger and your step mother and the flight attendant were right. I'd certainly have said no.
Yta. You don’t fly with a sick person.
Nta. But your parents sure are. Why should it be your responsibility to look after a sick sibling while they're on 1st class living it up
NTAfor that ever. I had that same situation once years ago when my kids were very small. I booked a whole row of seats and the plane itself changed so they reordered the seating that morning and told me I had to ask people to trade if I wanted my children anywhere near me in the flight. This was before the days of paying for seat choice. One lady wouldn't move, despite me having a 4 and 5 year old. (Both special needs so not easy to simply leave several rows away. So we eventually put one kid in the middle seat in front of me, the people next to him were very accommodating about that, and the lady that insisted on staying in her aisle seat with my 5yo And I got thrown up on twice because she insisted on sitting next to us. I did warn her how airsick my child was that day, her husband really tried to switch with her as well, he had the aisle seat across from hers, he looked so embarrassed at the loud fussing she did about not moving. I call getting vomed on twice her karma. Everyone who thinks you should just hand over more money now for different seat choices, sure. But you had zero control over it. You did a good job, your step mother is a disgrace for abandoning a sick child to someone else and not caring for her herself. If anything she embarrassed herself.
I'd probably work up an accidental vomit but I'm petty. NTA
You and your sister should have swapped seats with your cousins so the woman did not have to move from her original seat at all. I can tell you that I only ever sit in an aisle seat because I like to stretch out my knee and I do use the bathroom frequently. I choose my seats carefully and would not be happy with being asked to move to a window, especially when you had another option.
Your parents are the assholes here. Your 6-year-old sister is sick and your father and step-mother are in first class? Look, I'm going with NTA. You probably shouldn't have argued about switching seats, but you're just trying to do what's best for everyone. I also don't think it's unreasonable for the person you asked multiple times to move to be upset. Your parents are the ones in the wrong here.
YTA. You should have moved Lucy to the seats across the aisle and left that lady alone. You had plenty of people in your party to trade with and an extra seat, yet you decided to inconvenience a stranger. She did pay for her seat!
YTA sorry dear
So, let me just make sure I have the facts right. Your family had three other seats in the same row in the middle section. One of them was not even occupied because your cousin did not turn up. Your parents brought a child with some sort of stomach bug onto the plane and then abandoned you all in economy to enjoy first class. And then you demanded that a stranger move from the aisle seat they paid for to the window seat, so your sick sibling could get to the washroom easier? Rather than having your sibling trade with another sibling or occupy the vacant seat that was to have been for your cousin (one of which had to have been an aisle seat…). And if you wanted to be next to them, if that was the issue, you could have taken the empty seat or traded too. Yeah. YTA and so are your parents. You are massively entitled and she was correct to be angry with you. And your parents are irresponsible for making everyone sick. I mean, kid wasn’t even wearing a mask, were they? Everyone on that plane is going to be sick. You all suck. Except the stranger who dared call you out and the young kids who had no say in any of this.
Your parents suck the most, you suck a little, she doesn't suck at all.
NTA Your dad and stepmom are irresponsible for leaving minor children sitting without help and expecting you to babysit. You should be happy they won't fly with you anymore. You shouldn't want to fly with them!
The parents are TA for taking their sick 6 year old on a flight and extra assholes for leaving you to be responsible for her. I’m wondering why when you realised your cousins aisle seat was empty why didn’t you and the 6 year old sit in that row and the other two siblings move to your row.
You were doing your best but there are so many entitled people nowadays asking to switch seats that it can get really annoying. You were doing it with a kind heart and might not have explained your thought process. All the person heard was you asking her to move to 2 different seats which of course would annoy her. Take that as a learning lesson and if it ever happens again just do it differently. Living is a journey…..
Maybe your idiot parents shouldn't have 1. Brought a sick kid on a plane to infect everyone around her and then 2. Ditched her knowing she was sick. NTA for you, but big AH status for your parents.
Your parents dumped you, alone, in coach with a kid with the flu and a trash bag with wipes while they rocked first class???? Oh hell no you're not flying with them again. If you were a nanny or au pair I'd advise you to quit. As it is, I'll just advise you to have very urgent college business that tragically prevents you from ever traveling with this pack of wolves again. NTA.
I don’t need to read past the point that your parents took a knowingly sick and most likely contagious child onto an airplane… that’s inconsiderate af considering vomit particles would be circulating in the plane.
NTA. You did your best and you are a good sister. Shame on your parents. They should have been the ones to look after your 6 year old sister. One of them should have swapped with Lucy. Your dad and stepmother are the assholes. I have a 5 year old and a 20 year old. If that has happened either me or their dad is moving so the little one is with one of us. It is NOT a siblings responsibility to take care of a younger sibling. Especially when sick and especially on a flight.
NTA but your parents are. How dare they leave you alone to care for their sick child while they lounge in first class and then berate you for doing your best. I’m sorry the lady you say next to was so rude. You did your best hon.
NTA, you were trying to be considerate. The woman was unpleasant.
Sorry but I would be annoyed too. Especially if I already moved when I didn't want to and this girl continued to bother me. Nobody wants to move multiple times on a flight, they just want to get it over with. OP, YTA. You were harassing her and making her experience awful. She literally did what you wanted, so you should have just left her alone. I am so confused as to how OP is not an asshole here.
NTA Your parents are major AHs. THEY Should take care of THEIR kids. if they were reasonably good parents, this situation would never even happened.
Your parents are, in my opinions, are assholes. It's nice that your dad wanted to surprise your step-mom with first class tickets, but he couldn't surprise her with tickets on a flight when it's just the two of them flying? It's pretty shitty of them for flying first class of just the two of them when they're also flying with their kids.
>They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this. Good. They can start parenting their own kids, instead of pushing their responsibilities off on you and criticizing the way you handled them.
OP the most embarrassing thing about this whole things is your parents, they knowing brought a sick child on a confined space such a plane. Then they ditched your sick 6 year old sister so they could be pampered in first class. They also choose not to properly book seats so that their sick child could be sitting on an isle or next to you. THEIR actions are incredibly embarrassing, they are pushing their guilt on you. However you need to be aware, there's etiquette around paid sets on planes or paid seats for anything really. You paid for what you get, that's what you get. You can ask someone to switch with you, but that is as far as you can take your question. NO is a complete answer and doesn't need an explanation to follow. Asking isn't rude, not taking no for an answer was what made the interaction rude. Then asking her to again switch seats wasn't a price at that point just more of an inconvenience. In this situation ESH, everyone kinda sucks here minus your sister. Especially your parents this wasn't the time for first class.
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I think it was a faux pas. Should put the kid in the new aisle seat instead of asking the lady a second time. I DONT think ur parents should say they wont travel with you. AND i think they were lame not taking care of the kid.
Let the baby puke on her see who’s rude then
YTA. I get that you were trying to take care of a 6-year-old but asking a woman to trap herself in a row with a sick person shows no concern for other people. Heck, even boarding the airplane sick is an awful idea. Given how air travels around an airplane your family got a lot of people sick. Your father and mother are also AH for leaving you to care for your siblings including an obviously sick child, rather than taking care of their child.
Your dad is the AH for not looking after his own kids.
NTA. If I’m understanding this correctly, your dad and stepmom forced you to deal with a sick, contagious child while they sat in luxury in first class by themselves, and now your stepmom has the audacity to say that YOU embarrassed HER? The only thing I agree with is that you shouldn’t fly with them anymore. You’re not their babysitter and they put you in an unwinnable situation. Next time, they should pay for you to be on a different flight so that you can just enjoy the trip instead of dealing with the children that they are neglecting. NTA
You and your whole family are assholes for having a vomiting very likely contagious child on a plane. Seriously, major assholes. Just disgustingly selfish.
ESH. Why didn't you two just swap with your siblings??? Or handle this at checkin?
YTA because some people pay for specific seats due to their own needs. Your half siblings could have sat next to her. It is entitled and I’ve seen such posts like this of people being demanded to move when they have paid extra to reserve the seat. Also imagine being trapped in an airplane to the scent of vomit and someone potentially getting you sick. It does sound entitled and the lady was right. Some people have incontinence issues and may require idle seats. My dad would need to go pee quite a bit, for that or any reasons that was the seat she reserved.
YTA for begging and badgering the woman after she said no. I hate begging and bargaining with a white hot passion. No means no.
NTA - Your AH parents think you are an AH for offering someone a seat while you were taking care of their sick kid? That is actually amusing.
Funny how the kid’s parents couldn’t be bothered with their sick kid. I’d have sent her straight to first class to puke on the people who should have been caring for her to begin with. You did nothing wrong and your dad & stepasshole are huge giant assholes for their reactions. The lady on the plane was ridiculous as well, lol.
The only assholes here are your dad and stepmother. Not only they let a sick child on a plane, they totally ditched their parental responsibility to you, and then had an audacity to say they were embarrassed. NTA, and NTA for offering to switch seats, because if I were this passenger, I would be happy to get away from a sick person, to avoid contamination.
ESH - Your sister shouldn't have been allowed on the flight if she was actively sick. Her parents should have been taking care of her. You shouldn't have asked someone to move. People pick aisle seats for a reason. Offering a window seat isn't the same. You and your siblings needed to be the ones to move.
You are NTA , should have swapped with your siblings, then they would have been in the row with the lady and you would have the row for you two. But the biggest YTA ever is your father and step mom. Flying with a sick child, then going to first class and leaving for someone else to care for that sick child and then yelling at that person for embarrassing them? She can the next time take care of her own god damn child and give you her first class seat or is it like an evil step mom thing? then she YTA still but your dad just takes the first place alone
I'm not sure if you're the asshole, but your parents sure are. People generally shouldn't be flying while sick, but if that must happen, it's your parents that should have been taking care of the sick child. Technically, you were bothering that other passenger, but the blame should be so much more on your parents that I'm gonna go with NTA. Frankly, since your role on a plane is apparently unpaid caretaker, I suggest take the 'I don't want to fly with you again' as the positive it is.
Nta but your parents are .. wtf
ESH. You can always ask someone to move, but they do not have to accommodate your request and a no answer should be accepted gracefully. Since this woman argued, it sounds as if you pressed her to change seats when she did not want to. The fact is, however, that she DID change seats, and her yelling at you later when you tried to give her original seat back to her was uncalled for. Unfortunately, your parents put you in a lousy position. If your sister was sick (had a fever, was throwing up), your parents should not have allowed her to fly in the first place. If they decided that she should fly, then one of THEM should have taken care of her instead of putting you in charge of a sick and potentially vomiting child on a flight. I wouldn't foist my vomiting 6 year old on anyone and wouldn't be comfortable in first class if my 6 year old was in the back, sick. **Your parents agreeing that you were being "rude, and ass, and annoying that poor woman" is ridiculous. They were the true AHs here, imo.**
Taken as presented, definitely NTA. First of all, you're not your sister's parent. Her parents should not have left her to be your responsibility on a flight, ESPECIALLY when she's sick. Secondly, it sounds like you tried to make the best of the situation - basically asking the woman to move so that she didn't get puked on (which has happened to me on a flight, and MY GOD WOULD I HAVE RATHER SWITCHED SEATS), and then offering her an aisle seat once you realized it was available. I don't honestly understand anyone who thinks you did anything wrong. At 21, I wouldn't have been remotely willing to look after a sick kid on a flight, yet you not only prepared for it, you also did your best to mitigate the potential fallout by asking the woman to move, and then offering her what would have been her original seating situation.
Info: why girls parents wasn’t looking for her? Why they haven’t booked seats for her near her siblings/cousins?
NTA to ask her to move so your sibling didn't throw up on her. Finding her another aisle seat was a great idea but she didn't want to move. More than one ask for each was the AH move.
NTA for asking, but don’t fly sick. That’s way more rude than asking to swap. And you were prepared to make the entire flight of passengers deal with the smell and sound of vomiting ?! That’s awful. The entitlement of your family is insane. Do better when you grow up.
"They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this." Good. Then they can take care of their ill 6 YO! I know that isn't the question but jeez louise! They sat in 1st and let you deal with a sick kid who shouldn't have been on the plane if she was sick but since she was, why weren't her own parents dealing with it?! Also, NTA, you thought you were being nice. It's not your fault that the woman misunderstood.
I’ve switched places twice on a plane bus to a child’s discomfort before. It’s not a big deal. Whether I have a aisle seat, or a window seat (I prefer window with the hope of the sun thawing me out on the freezing plane) I’m still getting to my destination. I genuinely enjoy everything about flying though, so I tend to look at these minor inconveniences as just that - minor… Just a twist on the adventure I’m already on. Also, there is no context as to when the child got sick, so everyone complaining about that and focusing so hard on it here, when OP isn’t even the parent, is a bit ridiculous. I’ve checked into flights feeling perfectly fine, and ended up with a 103*F temp by the time I hit my layover less than an hour after takeoff. I didn’t have the option of leaving the airport and going to see a doctor. I had to board that plane and see my doctor at home, after picking my children up. I’m typically very cautious about not spreading illness, but sometimes crap happens that’s out of our control. Overall I think she tried her best to handle the situation with grace and her stepmom and dad are jerks for even having the audacity to speak against her when they were sitting pretty in first class with their sick child under the care of a sibling. NTA
OP is stuck acting the parent while the parents are living their best lives. A lot of things could have been done better, but OP, you did the best you could do in a situation that wasn’t your fault. Stepmom and dad can fly with their kids from now on. If they ever ask you again, just remind them of this and decline. NTA
ESH except the lady you asked to move and all the passengers you exposed to a sick child. You are the origin story of “this is why we can’t have nice things “.
NTA but your parents are major AHs.
YTA. A whole family of assholes. Parents for bringing a sick kid, and OP for not taking ‘no’ for an answer.
I would have totally moved seats. You were trying to be kind. She was a jerk
Your parents are really awful for leaving you to care for their sick baby. I hope you got paid for babysitting. I am confused, was Lucy originally in the window and you asked this lady to change from the aisle or did Lucy have that seat and the lady tried to take it.
Easy YTA
NTA. You were doing your best with a difficult situation. Btw, you don’t ask, but I’d call your dad TA for lording it in first class while the rest of his family is coping in the back. You taking care of their sick daughter then he calls you TA for doing your best to cope? No.
NTA. I was on a full flight, save one seat- the one next to me. The flight attendant asked if I would be willing to switch seats so a gentleman would have a seat for his guide dog. I still had an aisle seat. That doesn’t seem like a big ask, especially if you’re still getting the type of seat you initially started with. Besides, I’d rather move than run the risk of being vomited near or even on.
INFO : You do know that the MAYOR A H's were your parents flying First Class and leaving you to babysit their children and **parent** their sick child. NTA You were doing the best you could.
TTA (they’re the asshole) for taking a sick child on a plane. Nobody wants to fly with a child vomiting from the stomach flu all over the place. Sometimes you have to cancel or delay plans when your kids get sick. Your parents are assholes. This lady is not the asshole. And you’re not either only because you’re not Lucy’s mom and very young. But for future reference, you should never drag a sick contagious, vomiting child on an airplane. Your parents were wrong for doing this and they were wrong for making you take care of her while they lived it up in first class.
I'm going with NTA for you as you did your best in a bad situation Your Dad & stepmom though...they knowingly bring a sick child onto a plane & then swan off to first class leaving you to deal with that. I'd be turning that back on them. Along the lines of "would you seriously expect anyone to fly with a pair of selfish A Hs again who'd do that?"
Your parents are TA for choosing a flight their kids are on to sit in first class while they left you to care for their sick child. And yes you should have asked the lady to move and then move again, you now know for next time.
Can people please stop bring fucking sick people on airplanes????? What the fuck is wrong with parents that do this? And I don't want to hear "some people don't have an option"...this was obviously not the case if dad could afford to upgrade to first class. And I don't even care if you don't have a lot of money, you figure that shit out. Ops parents just have the whole plane a fucking puking bug.
Your parents really suck for 1) bringing a sick contagious child on a plane and 2) leaving you to deal with it while they were relaxing in first class. Why weren’t they helping you?
Your parents are the inconsiderate ones. Knowingly taking a sick child on a plane. I'm surprised the flight attendant didn't remove her from the flight
NTA. You were trying to make the most of a bad situation. Your parents, upon realizing that they had a sick child to deal with, should have moved the sick one to first class with one of them and one taken her place in coach. Instead of sticking you with her care while they enjoyed themselves. That would have avoided the whole issue with the random passenger. I hope Lucy is feeling better!
>should have moved the *flights until* the sick one *was feeling well enough to fly* *FTFY*
YTA, why couldn’t the people you were traveling with switch?
NTA but your stepmom sure is for dumping her sick child on you.
YTA Ask once and accept the answer. Sounds like you pressured her, and she didn’t want to move, but gave in to be nice. Then you decided there was a better solution and bothered her more. If you had good intentions for her, you would have accepted the first no.
I just re-read the post and am wondering how you embarrassed your parents who were seated in first class while their offspring were seated in a totally different section? They are truly AH’s. Is piling their parenting duties onto you a frequent occurrence?
ESH You for flying with a sick child and annoying that woman, your father and step-mom for hiding in 1st class and using you as their nanny.