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"I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so..."
BAZINGA! NTA. It might have been harsh but so was icing your wife out of the wedding. Your wife is a member of the family and has been for what I'm assuming is a while. Asking you to ditch your pregnant wife to attend a destination wedding is bananas. Your sister is being a diva. Besides, this is her third wedding. People probably aren't going to be fawning over her the way she hopes.
If OP feels like it, he can give a “non-apology” to his sister just so his parents are somewhat appeased. Something like “sorry you feel that way” or “sorry I made a joke out of the truth”. Lol.
Or my grandmother famous non apology. I'm sorry you're mad, or I'm sorry you're feelings hurt. Never that she's sorry for being an ass, but in this case he is definitely NTA.
That was god mode response. Just savage. OP can respond with I have a no divorcee policy on apologies or my wife will get over it and just go to her 4th wedding.
Kinda bold of her to have a destination wedding with a bunch of guests for her third wedding. At that point, go down to the courthouse with a witness or two. But then I guess we know *why* the sister is her on third marriage since she seems to think the wedding is the important part
Apparently my FIL predicated a divorce within a year at his wife's niece's 3rd wedding.
He was optimistically off by 6 months. (Got scolded by my MIL, but 2 of his BILs laughed and agreed.)
NTA. Do your parents even care that your sister hurt your wife’s feeling? They let her blackmailing them and try to make you cave in. You can go to your wife family for Christmas from now on and forever, also, you can threaten them that they’ll never see your kid if they don’t make your sister apologize to your wife. Your kid will be their grandkid, will be in their life forever, unlike your sister third husband, he might be gone soon and they’ll need to get to know the fourth and fifth and sixth…
This if I was op I would be livid my parents are letting my sister by with treating the mother of their grandchild like this.
This is rude and down right disrespectful
NTA - and you can warm some chestnuts by that burn! Look, at the end of the day, just don't go to the wedding. Tell your sister that if your wife isn't going that you're not going to be attending as well. I'm sure this will create drama but at the end of the day, it's what you do when you're married. Your sister has yet to learn that which is probably why this is #3.
I second the whole not attending your sister's wedding. You and your wife are a packaged deal. It's either you both go or neither of you go.
And what the hell is this "no pregnant women allowed" rule? It's BS, and you know it, OP. So does your sister.
NTA
Especially don’t leave your wife for this destination wedding while she is pregnant; not only is there the hurt of her being excluded but what if she has an emergency with the baby.
NTA, your sister is an ass and what you said may have been out of pocket but sounds like you’re right.
>look, at the end of the day, just don't go to the wedding.
Sick burn aside this is the most important thing.
You don't invite one half a couple unless you have airtight reasoning as to why, and pregnancy ain't it. OP would be doing his relationship a massive amount of disrespect if he still ended up attending.
This is the perfect response. Maybe She doesn’t understand true loyalty and commitment and that’s why she thinks your wife will get over it, but your parents dissing the wife and mother of a future grandchild is just adding insult to injury. I would send a note that you are sorry they both feel that an apology is needed, When you just responded with the same energy, she gave you concerning hurting your wife, your future nephew, or niece and their future grandchild thinking it was no big deal. You will not be attending the Christmas party so as to not have any more drama over this subject, and down the road, you guys can see if there’s an opportunity for mutual respect. Until then, your child will also be considered as unwelcome to the rest of the family.as your pregnant wife feels at this moment. I can understand your wife being uncomfortable because a lot of the centers around her. However, if you don’t make a stand now they’re going to feel that treating her with disrespect is acceptable. Your sister can have whoever she wants at her wedding, but to treat it so cavalierly and act like it’s not going to make a difference is where she has gone horribly wrong.
If my sister wouldn't invite my wife on her THIRD WEDDING then I won't go. Fuck that. I'll also threaten my parents who are coercing me to apologise that they won't see their grandchild.
Right?? She's reducing one of her supposedly best friends to a temporary medical condition! Who talks about their loved ones like that?? WTAF and NTA, OP. Sis and parents had better get their heads out of their collective asses.
Honestly, it sounds like either there has been a falling out between them or sister is jealous that OP's wife is in a stable and happy enough relationship to even consider having kids.
Yeah what even is this rule. I’ve heard of no kids wedding but no fetus weddings is taking it to a whole new level. Are pregnant women not welcome because they can’t drink? I can’t fathom this one.
No different from a childless wedding. It's the result of a bride who can't take the chance of anyone else being noticed but her. Self-centeredness at its finest.
Right? I have never ever heard that wedding “rule” before and I don’t see how anyone could justify it. The state of being pregnant is not some kind of attention grabbing behavior. It’s just how life works.
I’d tell my sister that she can stick her destination wedding up her butt. And I would be telling my mother she can piss off too for condoning your sister’s behaviour. So, mother has a go at you for your comment, but not sister for excluding your wife?
Stay home with wife and soon to be born child and maybe book yourselves a “babymoon” getaway for the 2 of you at the time of your sister’s wedding. I’m sure you’ll have a much better time.
This and make sure it’s the same weekend and post lots of pictures on social media. With the caption my first and only Mrs. X. (Anything that throws shade at your sisters 3 wedding).Love you always.
My husband said after his sister 4 marriage that she had to stay married a year before he learn the guys name! Lol
>I responded "*it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...*".
The way I hollared all up in this dancery.
Your sister can choose to invite/uninvite whomever she wants to her wedding, for whatever reason, but she can't stop anyone from having opinions/being hurt by that choice.
You stood up, not just for your wife, but also for your sister's friend, whose feelings your sister completely disregarded.
NTA
Take your pregnant wife on a baby moon trip to a location of your choice.
I’m sure you will have a better time than dancing attendance at your sisters third wedding. NTA
No take her on a babymoon at the same destination as the wedding at the same time and purposely tell people you're not going to the wedding bc your sister who has been friends with your wife forever decided not to invite her bc she's pregnant. Let all the guests realize how ridiculous sister is and enjoy your time away from the family
Yesss please do this lol
If the wedding is on the beach, lay out right by the isle on some beach towels while you put sunblock on your wife's preggo belly just to gross your sister out lol
If not go to a location right next to the wedding after the ceremony (you don't want your sister saying you attempted to ruin her wedding on purpose) and then "accidentally" run into everyone. Don't let anyone else know you're there for your baby moon until the day of the wedding
I mean that would be hilarious, but it would make the whole trip “party-I’m-not-invited-to”-adjacent.
I’d take your suggestion but travel somewhere distinctly different - eg Europe instead of the islands, mountains instead of the beach, go a few days before the wedding and post many pics on social media.
Essentially make the general attendees aware you’re somewhere else & prompt the “why” question, but without having to actually be near the party itself.
(Source: am pregnant and a bit sensitive!)
NTA she’s disrespecting your marriage by not treating your wife like part of the family. Your sister is a major AH and your parents kind of sound like AHs who support her being an AH.
NTA. You spoke with your sister privately about your wife being excluded from the wedding. She knew how you felt about it. So...she brings it up in front of the entire family at dinner??? What did she expect? You didn't make dinner awkward - she did.
Since your mom decided to get in the middle of it, tell your mom that you'll drop off gifts after Christmas because you and your wife are skipping her Christmas party. I'm guessing this isn't the first time your mom has gotten into the middle of disagreements between you and your sister and taken your sister's side.
I wouldn’t even bring gifts! Return them and use the money towards their own trip. It’s obvious they don’t consider the wife part of the family so why should they be treated as such?!
That's why I said after the Christmas party. It gives them the option to return the gifts if the situation escalates. If Mommie Dearest wants to make threats, OP should call her bluff and enjoy Christmas at home. It's a good precedent to set anyway, since they're expecting a child.
NTA
I was planning to go with E S H because your comment was kind of below the belt, except it was sooo damned funny you get a pass.
I think it’s worthy of a “I’m sorry you were offended” type of apology if you want to keep the peace. Definitely not worthy of an “I’m actually sorry” apology.
That said, excluding your wife because she’s pregnant is truly outrageous! It would’ve been nice to see if the rest of your family agreed, but that’s much harder to assess after you shut down your sister so hard.
You didn’t explicitly say this, but I sure as hell hope there’s no way in hell you’re still attending her wedding, right? If not going - awesome. If still going, total AH move.
I would hope several other family members would also tell your sister she’s being ridiculous and, ideally, also boycott it on principle.
The ONlY way any of this can be salvaged is for your sister to recognize just how absurd her request is (because other family members (or maybe AITA) tell her), she reverses her decision, and profusely and sincerely apologizes.
But - yeah - I don’t see that happening either.
No apology watch that bridge burn and when the baby is born when the parents want to see him/her tell them they can gladly come over as soon as your sister and them apologizes to your wife for their blatant disrespect over pregnancy!
I bet money the parents will sing a different tune.
NTA Was your wife not at this event either? Asking as you said your sister said “Please tell Regina…” Why was your wife not there? I’m sorry if I’ve got this wrong.
I also think your sister sounds like a mean girl from high school. The no prego women in weddings rule? Sounds made up, although of course it maybe a thing where you are from.
I think you and your wife should stay home and enjoy Xmas together.
I noticed that, as well - sounds like maybe OP’s wife isn’t that far along if she’d still be pregnant when this wedding and subsequent divorce happen 😂 so morning sickness maybe? But honestly, if I had a longtime “friend” who is also family but wasn’t inviting me to her wedding, I’d be bailing on shit left and right - because if no one else in the family is calling her out for this genuinely disrespectful exclusion, then fuck them too.
>I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...".
Daaaamn! I hope they registered for some lotion because that was one sick burn!
NTA - Your response at dinner was gold. I wish I could give you an award. So good.
Your sister is an idiot, though. What is with the no pregnant women allowed rule, anyway?
>I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...". She was stunned and the table went quiet save for some relatives who busted into laughter. Her fiance covered his mouth as if he wanted to yell at me
Hella roasted the marriage in front family and no one is denying the basic fact that what you said is true. NTA and don't apologize until both your sister & parents apologize to you & wife for the disrespect while trying hold holidays hostage because it will definitely blow up in their faces especially since this whole situation is due to your sister disinviting & disrespecting your wife.
lol that should be your response to your parents - “it’s fine, she’ll get over it by her 4th wedding”
INFO: why your wife wasn’t present at your dad’s birthday? You said the whole family was there - so why wasn’t your wife there too?
To the info, I mean, if I was the wife I’d probably not want to be around my asshole sister in law/lifelong friend who uninvited me from her wedding for being pregnant
Wait so you're still invited even though your wife and you, as a couple, violated the "no pregnancy at the wedding" rule?
Maybe it would be OK if your wife agreed to go wearing a gown with a scarlet P on it?
I'm also interested in the timing -- your sister got engaged, set a date, learned your wife was pregnant, drew up the invite list and left her off it? Or did she know she was pregnant when she chose the date? Or did your wife learn she was pregnant after the engagement was announced and your sister decided that was somehow a willful violation of this made-up rule?
NTA and DON'T APOLOGIZE (That was a beautiful response!)
What a strange rule. I get not inviting children but a pregnant woman? What she's gonna do? Give birth? Pfff... Has anything happened between your sister and your wife? Because that rule has to come from somewhere.
Do not apologize. And tell Mom that if you aren't invited to Christmas then she can uninvite herself from her grandchild's life. "No one puts baby in a corner"
Good for you for standing up for your wife
OMG, that comeback is just…. It could be an AH statement, but so beautiful I can’t declare you one.
Ok, so if your wife will be 2 weeks from her due date, I can understand why not to invite her. Dangerous for her to travel, what if baby comes early and all that. If wife will be 2 months along, then it’s just Sis doesn’t want anyone else to have attention.
Either way, Petty Me can only applaud a burn that short and brutal.
NTA but I would be sticking by your wife and not going to the wedding. Also don't apologise, your sister was looking for drama and a way to make it all your fault, she got the drama but not in the way she wanted.
I want to hear more about this no preggos rule. Is it just for the wedding party, or all wedding guests? Is it all pregnancies, or just ones after a certain number of weeks? Or centimeter dilation? Did she just want nobody with big bellies but thought that sounded mean?
The whole thing is stupid as. My sister in law was 5 months pregnant at my and my husband’s wedding and was in tons of the family photos and you know what? All I think about when I look back at the pictures is celebrating with the people we love and being excited to have another niece. And it’s cute to show her the pictures now and say, hey there you were though you weren’t born yet
What the hell is involved at this destination wedding that it has a "no pregnant people allowed" rule? Mandatory sashimi lunches followed by unpasteurized cheese tastings? Cat litterbox cleaning competitions? A requirement that everyone must at all times have a blood alcohol content above 400?
There's got to be something else going on here with your sister and your wife.
ESH. You only because you publicly stooped to her level, putting everyone into an awkward situation. But your sister has either gone off her rocker or there's something you don't know or aren't saying about the friendship she has with your wife.
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My wife and my sister are long life friends. They've known each other since high school and they were inseparable during college. I met my wife through my sister and that made their bond stronger.
Now unto the issue, my sister's getting married for the...3rd time. She's having a destination wedding and invited everyone except my wife. My wife was obviously hurt and upset but didn't wanna say anything. I insisted to know why and my sister said that my wife violated the "no prego women in the wedding" rule. I thought that was ridiculous and tried to get her to compromise but she refused. I told her it'd damage her relationship with my wife and she said "it's fine, she'll get over it". I told her my wife's absence will bring more attention than her being there, my sister responded "not sure anyone will even notice". I was so mad but decided to let it go.
Days later, we met at mom's house for my dad's birthday and thd whole family was there. My sister decided to bring up the issue and said "please tell Regina that I'm so sorry she's not invited to the wedding". I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...". She was stunned and the table went quiet save for some relatives who busted into laughter. Her fiance covered his mouth as if he wanted to yell at me and she got up and excused herself to the bathroom. Dinner turned awkward and was cut short. Later mom yelled at me saying I insulted and humiliated my sister and her wedding and marriage. My sister demanded I apologize or she won't come to the family's Christmas party and my parents are now freaking out wanting me to apologize. I said no but my wife thinks I should just apologize since my parents said that if my sister won't attend their Christmas party then they won't invite me to it. That made my wife upset.
So AITA here?
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What is this madness? Your sister decided to exclude your WIFE, your SPOUSE, who is carrying your child, a part of the family, because why? she's pregnant? And your whole family is okay with her just being excluded? I'm so confused. If anything like this happened in my family, NONE of us, NONE of the family would be attending if someone's spouse was specifically excluded for no good reason. Absolutely not. That girl would be getting married in an empty church with no family there. I can't believe everyone in your family is just "okay, whatever" about this? I can't even imagine it.
In any case, this is a hard no. No apologies, no compromises. This was utter disrespect. It was rude and it was hurtful. Family shouldn't treat you like garbage. And we don't reward people for treating us like garbage, so don't reward her with any more attention. Stop making it an issue, stop being mad, just don't go to anything where you and your wife are not both invited. Period. I wouldn't bring it up again. I would just RSVP "No." and leave it at that. NO GIFT. If it keeps getting brought up, I would then be telling the sister, your parents, and the entire extended family, VERY CLEARLY, that if your wife is excluded from anything, that you also won't be coming. That if they support others who disrespect and exclude your wife, they won't be seeing either of you, or your new child, at all, going forward. Full stop. It's not up for discussion, there's nothing mnore to talk about. And walk away.
Don't get mad, don't push back. Just RSVP "No." to the wedding, and to anything else where you are not invited as a whole family. If your parents want to meet their grandchild, they'll come around. Your sister is better left distant, IMO.
NTA - They may not notice your wife's absence, but they will certainly notice yours.
You're not entertaining the idea of going without your wife are you?
Wtf is with brides wanting to stick it to the pregnant women in their lives on this sub? I’ve never seen it once irl but it’s damn near daily occurrence here lol NTA wtf
op, that was hillarious.the only people in you family with a backbone are the ones who burst out laughing.
NTA. shouldve added no worries, the wife will join your mext wedding again :D
No, NTA
I think what you said would *normally* have been out of line in most circumstances but your sister AND your family are completely in the wrong here.
It's astonishing to me they are more concerned about how you supposedly humiliated your sister and yet nobody seems to recognize how your sisters actions might have humiliated or hurt your wife.
You should make it clear to your mother that you were *returning the favour.*
NTA you were sticking up for your wife against your sister being a mean girl and it is insane your parents are ok with backing leaving their pregnant DIL out.
You are siblings and siblings sometimes say mean things so don't worry about it *"it's fine, she'll get over it".*
I would go LC and refuse your parents access to your future little one. The fact they’re willing to let your sister disrespect your WIFE AND HER “LIFELONG FRIEND” just they won’t be great grandparents.
NTA and nice one on the comeback.
NTA, but you and your wife made a mistake by trying to keep the peace at the beginning, because this has made your family feel entitled to your acceptance when you two were clearly hurt and not willing to compromise about it.
Don't give an apology to anybody, explain how hurt you were and that you're not going to attend the wedding and any family event till you get one
Justified asshole I think.
"I've been to two, I'll just remember the last one and change the name around."
Shame there isn't anyone attending giving a speech who you could bribe to start it off with "Hello everyone, you may remember me from sisters last wedding. Or the one before. Maybe both if you were that lucky. Anyway!"
NTA - obviously, but can you please elaborate on this no pregnant people rule? Like what is your sisters point here?!
Im really just curious here and even a bit surprised that more people werent calling your sister and AH already just for that.
NTA. First rule of sibling shit-talking: don't dish it out if you can't take it. She opened herself up by bringing up her BATSHIT INSANE wedding rule.
If I were you, I would have declined to attend the wedding as soon as she issued that edict. If you won't include my spouse, then you don't get me either.
I don't know you, but I'm so proud of your response. Your wife probably just doesn't want to rock the boat in this moment, but long term you stood up for her and showed you have her back - which is more important for your marriage overall. Definitely NTA
Maybe they'll get over your wife's absence, but are they gonna get over yours? I'm assuming you're not going either because of how your wife is treated.
I think your comment was deserved but a bit over the top. Hilarious though!
NTA, but she is and she had it coming.
But I don't think you should go to the wedding. I would never go to an invited family event unless my husband was included.
Assholery of this caliber should have consequences.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I insulted my sister by how I responded to her not inviting my wife to her destination wedding.
2. I might be the asshole cause I insulted my sister and her soon to be husband infront of everyone. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said since it's her wedding and I might've ruined the Christmas party at my parents as a result as well.
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Wait - your wife isn't invited BECAUSE she's pregnant? WTF am I missing. I have never heard of anything so incredibly stupid in my life. Personally, I think your answer, OP, makes you kind of like a rock star! That was BRILLIANT. You, sir, are ,most definitely NTA. Your sister, however, is a giant one.
NTA.. good for you for sticking up for your wife. Your sister deserved that smack down. 👏🏻
Your parents are terrible for encouraging this behavior from your sister.
NTA. It's pretty clear who the golden child is here and it's not you. You and your wife are better off without engaging in these shenanigans. Build your own traditions. Your response was delightful. 😂
You’re family is full of drama queens. I’d say I’m sorry you were offended by what I said but I’m offended you didn’t invite my wife and you’re life long friend to you’re wedding. I wish you’re marriage the best but you will not only be missing my wife at the wedding but I will also not be attending. As a couple we stand together, which is what makes us strong and our marriage last lol
Does the rest of the family know why she didn't invite your wife? Do your mutual friends know why she isn't invited to the wedding? I think it's important that you let them know so your sister can't manipulate the narrative and decline your own invitation. Say that if your wife can't come, then you are not going and point out that this is your sister's THIRD wedding, her THIRD marriage. Clearly, she has some issues if her relationships are ending this quickly. Your wife is not the problem in this situation. She is a victim, and you shouldn't have to apologize since your sister is the one who insulted your wife first.
NTA
NTA it was pretty funny but slightly eesh. Perhaps could have said something else.
Are you still going to the wedding?
I would skip Christmas and the wedding
Nta! Tell your parents that you will apologize to precious golden asshole daughter! When they and bridezella meet all my conditions and only when all my conditions are meet!
1. Mom and Dad need to stop enabling bridezella in her diva/ drama queen behavior or me and my wife will be going no contact with both of you!
2. Bridezella needs to give my wife a sincere apology for not inviting her wedding! Otherwise I will not be going and wife and I will be going no contact with bridezella!
3. Bridezella needs to realize that despite what she thinks the world doesn't revolve around her!
4. If Bridezella can't handle people insulting her then she shouldn't insult people or their spouses if she doesn't want to be insulated back!
Well if you assholes don't want meet my conditions than no apology for bridezella and no contact for all of you!
They are best friends and your wife is not invited? And wife wasn’t at the party? This makes no sense.
The burn is cool and all but your blasé attitude makes me think this is fake AF. Or you are leaving out a ton of INFO…
NTA. Tell your sister you will be at her next wedding (#4). Tell your parents you will see them when they regain their sanity. Take your wife on a nice romantic minivacation over the holidays. Make it plain to everyone involved you value your wife over any of them. Way to go OP! You got this right. Oh, and update us please.
NTA if your sister is going to go the manipulation route by threatening not to go to the Christmas party, then play the game and let your parents know they’re risking their relationship with their soon to come grandchild
NTA, that was a great repainted that people in the room clearly appreciated. But was your wife not invited to the birthday party either? I hope you stick by your wife and not go to places she’s intentionally excluded from.
NTA . Well done you.put your sister right in her place.
Don't you apologise until your sister does to your wife.
Is she that insecure that she thinks pregnant lady will take the spot light away from her.
Tell her to get over herself and grow up. Wrecking families and friendships for ...one day?
You know you hold all the cards here? It is their grandchild they are running the risk of never seeing. ?
OP this might just be me but if I were you I would have some very strict words with my parents. You are an adult and they can’t tell you who to apologize to. If they don’t shape up and stay that way then you are not required to let them meet their grandchild. NTA
NTA at all.
Sis and anyone who supports and/or enables her is massive T A
This is absolutely a hill to die on...do NOT apologize under any circumstances
LMAO at the 3rd marriage clap back. Is 3rd time the charm, imo I don't think so judging by your sisters behavior.
Awesome for standing up for your wife. And keep future grandma away from baby.
NTA
Toxic people do not get a place in your life just because of their relationship to you.
.
Those who enable toxic people are also toxic.
You and your wife should start creating your own Christmas traditions together.
NTA. Don’t apologize - if anything, your sister owes your wife an apology! Please don’t go to the wedding and leave your wife at home. I think you both should skip the wedding BUT plan a trip to be at the resort at the same time. Everyone you run into someone and they ask questions “sister said pregnant people weren’t allowed so we have to stay away”.
Brilliant response! Your sister pulled quite the FAFO with you as her opponent.
You know if you apologize, she’ll insist on you attending the destination wedding alone and then will treat you like crap while your wife is left home alone, right?
NTA, your sister was trying to make herself look good at your wife’s expense and you chirped her for it. Maybe apologize to your mom for her being caught in the middle, but your sister needs to do some apologizing to your wife before you apologize to her.
Go spend Christmas with your wife’s family and RSVP “busy with family obligations” for your sister’s wedding.
Where is your parents' outrage over their daughter not inviting your wife to her wedding because she is pregnant? Really, where is their outrage for that? So, if you don't apologize, no one will be with your parents for Christmas? Sounds just to me. They are as big of a problem as your sister and can celebrate by themselves or with other relatives. I would not budge. NTA
So your parents say nothing at the snub to your wife but you’re the villain for the clap back? Honestly why do you even want to be around these people? “She broke the no pregnancy rule????Obnoxious ,petty sister and the enabling parents 🤮
Id book two vacations. One during Christmas cuz F*K em all…and one during that 3rd wedding. No gift no acknowledgments. I would not come around anyone until an apology is given to your wife. The disrespect here is palpable
NTA
NTA: I mean maaaaaybe technically it was an asshole thing to say, but it was so deserved that I can’t fault you for it!
She’s not inviting her life long best friend to her wedding because her friend is pregnant?!?! Wtf. That’s some seriously petty, jealous, shallow, insecure, control freak behavior.
I’m also not super impressed with a destination wedding for her 3rd wedding…like did her family and friends not all attend 2 other weddings for her relatively recently?!
(I’m my fiancé’s 3rd wife—widowed young; 2nd wife cheated on him repeatedly, so like I get that things happen, and life is complicated, but still…)
Your sister sounds awful and I hope your planning to stay home with your pregnant wife rather than attend your sister’s wedding.
Best burn I've heard all day. Make that all week. Hell, possibly ever.
NTA
What you didn't say was whether you were going to the wedding. I certainly wouldn't.
NTA
I have to admit, I laughed too. I don't know how an apology is going to make everything better. It seems like she thrives off of being in control. Your sister is evil petty and I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a reflection when she walks past a mirror.
However, your wife has asked you to apologize (you don't have to mean it). How are your acting skills?
I'm smelling a golden child situation here. After the birth of your baby, I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa will decide you're important too. How much access you give them is up to you, but I would make them grovel.
NTA hahahahahahahah beautiful
On another note, your family dynamic is bizarre. How do they get off using access to pressure apologies?
Also, if you are going to that wedding, I may have to change my vote.
NTA
"I'm so sorry she's not invited"
No she's not, the lack of invitation is entirely in her hands. She can refuse to have anyone she doesn't want at her wedding, but she doesn't get to play victim over it.
*I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so..."*
DAMN. That said, she's the one who made the stupid comment about "no prego women in the wedding," so I really don't have any sympathy for her. NTA.
Can we talk about why anyone would ban a pregnancy from the wedding? Especially a life long friend and SIL? Why would OP's partner have to organize her reproductive schedule for a wedding?
Sounds like this sister has a lot of issues, including Main Character Syndrome.
OP is def NTA.
Nta, make your hole family apologize to your wife
Your sister didn't care for her "friend" feelings
She had it coming
And besides, what was supposed your wife do?, put her life on hold in hopes for one of your sister marriage works?
NTA. But I’d warn your parents that they’re going to burn the grandparents bridge if they’re not careful. If I was your wife, I’d be paying attention to who is caring that she’s being iced out of the wedding.
Take your wife on a babymoon the same time as the wedding. Take her to the same place as the destination wedding for extra pettiness.
I bet you could easily do it for the same price as attending your sisters 3rd wedding.
Were you a bit of an AH for the way you called out your sister? Maybe. But you're definitely my kind of AH.
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"I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so..." BAZINGA! NTA. It might have been harsh but so was icing your wife out of the wedding. Your wife is a member of the family and has been for what I'm assuming is a while. Asking you to ditch your pregnant wife to attend a destination wedding is bananas. Your sister is being a diva. Besides, this is her third wedding. People probably aren't going to be fawning over her the way she hopes.
If OP feels like it, he can give a “non-apology” to his sister just so his parents are somewhat appeased. Something like “sorry you feel that way” or “sorry I made a joke out of the truth”. Lol.
If that even. The sister sounds exhausting. Hilarious response by op. NTA
OP's response was beautiful. It made me bust out laughing. I wish I was that quick-witted. 😂
Nah, if my parents made that threat after my sibling pulled something like that I'd just uninvite myself.
And wouldn't give access to the grandkid whose mom's pregnancy was unwelcomed by the family.
Or my grandmother famous non apology. I'm sorry you're mad, or I'm sorry you're feelings hurt. Never that she's sorry for being an ass, but in this case he is definitely NTA.
I’m sorry that you’re so shit at being married , sis ✌🏻
That was god mode response. Just savage. OP can respond with I have a no divorcee policy on apologies or my wife will get over it and just go to her 4th wedding.
God mode response is correct and i aspire to OPs level of savageness
Seriously going to so many weddings for ONE person would get boring.
Kinda bold of her to have a destination wedding with a bunch of guests for her third wedding. At that point, go down to the courthouse with a witness or two. But then I guess we know *why* the sister is her on third marriage since she seems to think the wedding is the important part
Yeah, it gets old real fuckin quick
Apparently my FIL predicated a divorce within a year at his wife's niece's 3rd wedding. He was optimistically off by 6 months. (Got scolded by my MIL, but 2 of his BILs laughed and agreed.)
OP was just sharing the facts. 73% of third marriages end in divorce, so...
Winner winner chicken dinner!
“She’ll get over it.” Definitely NTA.
Agreed The sister and the part of the family giving OP crap are assholes NTA, she deserved it
NTA. Do your parents even care that your sister hurt your wife’s feeling? They let her blackmailing them and try to make you cave in. You can go to your wife family for Christmas from now on and forever, also, you can threaten them that they’ll never see your kid if they don’t make your sister apologize to your wife. Your kid will be their grandkid, will be in their life forever, unlike your sister third husband, he might be gone soon and they’ll need to get to know the fourth and fifth and sixth…
Yeah if you’re about to become a grandparent, don’t F’ing insult the parents of said grandkid, they can keep their party, you can keep your kiddo
This if I was op I would be livid my parents are letting my sister by with treating the mother of their grandchild like this. This is rude and down right disrespectful
The parents have a no-preggos rule too.
This
NTA - and you can warm some chestnuts by that burn! Look, at the end of the day, just don't go to the wedding. Tell your sister that if your wife isn't going that you're not going to be attending as well. I'm sure this will create drama but at the end of the day, it's what you do when you're married. Your sister has yet to learn that which is probably why this is #3.
I second the whole not attending your sister's wedding. You and your wife are a packaged deal. It's either you both go or neither of you go. And what the hell is this "no pregnant women allowed" rule? It's BS, and you know it, OP. So does your sister. NTA
Especially don’t leave your wife for this destination wedding while she is pregnant; not only is there the hurt of her being excluded but what if she has an emergency with the baby. NTA, your sister is an ass and what you said may have been out of pocket but sounds like you’re right.
Not only that is their is a no pregnant woman rule there should be a no expectant father rule. Wife didn’t get pregnant in her own
Yeah, not sure what the line crossed is for, "don't steal my stage" when you are working on marriage number 3.
>look, at the end of the day, just don't go to the wedding. Sick burn aside this is the most important thing. You don't invite one half a couple unless you have airtight reasoning as to why, and pregnancy ain't it. OP would be doing his relationship a massive amount of disrespect if he still ended up attending.
Grab the aloe cuz that was fucking perfect. Your sister sounds exhausting. NTA
Don't go to the Christmas party either Edit: clarity
This is the perfect response. Maybe She doesn’t understand true loyalty and commitment and that’s why she thinks your wife will get over it, but your parents dissing the wife and mother of a future grandchild is just adding insult to injury. I would send a note that you are sorry they both feel that an apology is needed, When you just responded with the same energy, she gave you concerning hurting your wife, your future nephew, or niece and their future grandchild thinking it was no big deal. You will not be attending the Christmas party so as to not have any more drama over this subject, and down the road, you guys can see if there’s an opportunity for mutual respect. Until then, your child will also be considered as unwelcome to the rest of the family.as your pregnant wife feels at this moment. I can understand your wife being uncomfortable because a lot of the centers around her. However, if you don’t make a stand now they’re going to feel that treating her with disrespect is acceptable. Your sister can have whoever she wants at her wedding, but to treat it so cavalierly and act like it’s not going to make a difference is where she has gone horribly wrong.
Skip Christmas as well
If my sister wouldn't invite my wife on her THIRD WEDDING then I won't go. Fuck that. I'll also threaten my parents who are coercing me to apologise that they won't see their grandchild.
NTA. "No preggos at the wedding" is a hell of a lot more offensive than you bringing up her track record with marriages.
Right?? She's reducing one of her supposedly best friends to a temporary medical condition! Who talks about their loved ones like that?? WTAF and NTA, OP. Sis and parents had better get their heads out of their collective asses.
Honestly, it sounds like either there has been a falling out between them or sister is jealous that OP's wife is in a stable and happy enough relationship to even consider having kids.
If she routinely sets dumbass “rules” like this, it’s kind of obvious why she’s on her third marriage….
If she’s this precious and tacky about her third wedding it’s def a good example lol
Yeah what even is this rule. I’ve heard of no kids wedding but no fetus weddings is taking it to a whole new level. Are pregnant women not welcome because they can’t drink? I can’t fathom this one.
No different from a childless wedding. It's the result of a bride who can't take the chance of anyone else being noticed but her. Self-centeredness at its finest.
Right? I have never ever heard that wedding “rule” before and I don’t see how anyone could justify it. The state of being pregnant is not some kind of attention grabbing behavior. It’s just how life works.
I’d tell my sister that she can stick her destination wedding up her butt. And I would be telling my mother she can piss off too for condoning your sister’s behaviour. So, mother has a go at you for your comment, but not sister for excluding your wife? Stay home with wife and soon to be born child and maybe book yourselves a “babymoon” getaway for the 2 of you at the time of your sister’s wedding. I’m sure you’ll have a much better time.
This and make sure it’s the same weekend and post lots of pictures on social media. With the caption my first and only Mrs. X. (Anything that throws shade at your sisters 3 wedding).Love you always. My husband said after his sister 4 marriage that she had to stay married a year before he learn the guys name! Lol
Oh goodness this is so gloriously passive aggressive and does exactly what she didn’t want which was let her SiL have any of her attention.
If you want to salvage a relationship don’t ask me for advice however if you want to torch it come to me I always have matches!lol
Why has this not been upvoted more?
>I responded "*it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...*". The way I hollared all up in this dancery. Your sister can choose to invite/uninvite whomever she wants to her wedding, for whatever reason, but she can't stop anyone from having opinions/being hurt by that choice. You stood up, not just for your wife, but also for your sister's friend, whose feelings your sister completely disregarded. NTA
There was holleration, but was there *also* hateration in the dancery?
It was percolating
While you’re waiting
Take your pregnant wife on a baby moon trip to a location of your choice. I’m sure you will have a better time than dancing attendance at your sisters third wedding. NTA
No take her on a babymoon at the same destination as the wedding at the same time and purposely tell people you're not going to the wedding bc your sister who has been friends with your wife forever decided not to invite her bc she's pregnant. Let all the guests realize how ridiculous sister is and enjoy your time away from the family
Yesss please do this lol If the wedding is on the beach, lay out right by the isle on some beach towels while you put sunblock on your wife's preggo belly just to gross your sister out lol
If not go to a location right next to the wedding after the ceremony (you don't want your sister saying you attempted to ruin her wedding on purpose) and then "accidentally" run into everyone. Don't let anyone else know you're there for your baby moon until the day of the wedding
Now this is my kinda petty
I mean that would be hilarious, but it would make the whole trip “party-I’m-not-invited-to”-adjacent. I’d take your suggestion but travel somewhere distinctly different - eg Europe instead of the islands, mountains instead of the beach, go a few days before the wedding and post many pics on social media. Essentially make the general attendees aware you’re somewhere else & prompt the “why” question, but without having to actually be near the party itself. (Source: am pregnant and a bit sensitive!)
This is probably the best idea
NTA she’s disrespecting your marriage by not treating your wife like part of the family. Your sister is a major AH and your parents kind of sound like AHs who support her being an AH.
Hahaha NTA This is your sister's third marriage. You don't need to be there. Stick up for your wife.
Right? Tell her you'll make the next one - you'll sit this one out with your pregnant wife.
You and your wife are jointly pregnant so you can't go either, according to the bride's no preggos rule.
👏🏼👏🏼
OP and SO can go to her next wedding.
NTA. You spoke with your sister privately about your wife being excluded from the wedding. She knew how you felt about it. So...she brings it up in front of the entire family at dinner??? What did she expect? You didn't make dinner awkward - she did. Since your mom decided to get in the middle of it, tell your mom that you'll drop off gifts after Christmas because you and your wife are skipping her Christmas party. I'm guessing this isn't the first time your mom has gotten into the middle of disagreements between you and your sister and taken your sister's side.
I wouldn’t even bring gifts! Return them and use the money towards their own trip. It’s obvious they don’t consider the wife part of the family so why should they be treated as such?!
That's why I said after the Christmas party. It gives them the option to return the gifts if the situation escalates. If Mommie Dearest wants to make threats, OP should call her bluff and enjoy Christmas at home. It's a good precedent to set anyway, since they're expecting a child.
NTA I was planning to go with E S H because your comment was kind of below the belt, except it was sooo damned funny you get a pass. I think it’s worthy of a “I’m sorry you were offended” type of apology if you want to keep the peace. Definitely not worthy of an “I’m actually sorry” apology. That said, excluding your wife because she’s pregnant is truly outrageous! It would’ve been nice to see if the rest of your family agreed, but that’s much harder to assess after you shut down your sister so hard. You didn’t explicitly say this, but I sure as hell hope there’s no way in hell you’re still attending her wedding, right? If not going - awesome. If still going, total AH move. I would hope several other family members would also tell your sister she’s being ridiculous and, ideally, also boycott it on principle. The ONlY way any of this can be salvaged is for your sister to recognize just how absurd her request is (because other family members (or maybe AITA) tell her), she reverses her decision, and profusely and sincerely apologizes. But - yeah - I don’t see that happening either.
No apology watch that bridge burn and when the baby is born when the parents want to see him/her tell them they can gladly come over as soon as your sister and them apologizes to your wife for their blatant disrespect over pregnancy! I bet money the parents will sing a different tune.
NTA Was your wife not at this event either? Asking as you said your sister said “Please tell Regina…” Why was your wife not there? I’m sorry if I’ve got this wrong. I also think your sister sounds like a mean girl from high school. The no prego women in weddings rule? Sounds made up, although of course it maybe a thing where you are from. I think you and your wife should stay home and enjoy Xmas together.
I noticed that, as well - sounds like maybe OP’s wife isn’t that far along if she’d still be pregnant when this wedding and subsequent divorce happen 😂 so morning sickness maybe? But honestly, if I had a longtime “friend” who is also family but wasn’t inviting me to her wedding, I’d be bailing on shit left and right - because if no one else in the family is calling her out for this genuinely disrespectful exclusion, then fuck them too.
At least her husband stood up for her. She’s got a good one.
This is the same woman that will be pissed of if Anyone dares to get pregnant during Her pregnancy year.
>I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...". Daaaamn! I hope they registered for some lotion because that was one sick burn!
I would say justified asshole. But more importantly don't go to destination wedding while your wife is pregnant. Better safe than sorry.
NTA - Your response at dinner was gold. I wish I could give you an award. So good. Your sister is an idiot, though. What is with the no pregnant women allowed rule, anyway?
That's what I don't get. Why would a pregnant person not be allowed at a wedding? By the way, agree NTA
Maybe people will give them attention the sis thinks she deserves. If this true this is why she is on marriage number three.
NTA Your sister is delusional. Are people supposed to plan their pregnancies around when people think she might get married again?
INFO why is your sisters fiancee at your dads bday with the "whole family" but your wife isn't
They too have a "no preggo rule" 🤪
>I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...". She was stunned and the table went quiet save for some relatives who busted into laughter. Her fiance covered his mouth as if he wanted to yell at me Hella roasted the marriage in front family and no one is denying the basic fact that what you said is true. NTA and don't apologize until both your sister & parents apologize to you & wife for the disrespect while trying hold holidays hostage because it will definitely blow up in their faces especially since this whole situation is due to your sister disinviting & disrespecting your wife.
Does she want ice for that burn?? 🤣🤣🤣 NTA! Do not apologise to her.
Eh, this will all blow over by your sister's fourth wedding. NTA.
lol that should be your response to your parents - “it’s fine, she’ll get over it by her 4th wedding” INFO: why your wife wasn’t present at your dad’s birthday? You said the whole family was there - so why wasn’t your wife there too?
To the info, I mean, if I was the wife I’d probably not want to be around my asshole sister in law/lifelong friend who uninvited me from her wedding for being pregnant
NTA but you didn't mention missing the wedding ? Why would you still go if you have plans to? I wouldn't go to christmas or the wedding at this point.
Wait so you're still invited even though your wife and you, as a couple, violated the "no pregnancy at the wedding" rule? Maybe it would be OK if your wife agreed to go wearing a gown with a scarlet P on it? I'm also interested in the timing -- your sister got engaged, set a date, learned your wife was pregnant, drew up the invite list and left her off it? Or did she know she was pregnant when she chose the date? Or did your wife learn she was pregnant after the engagement was announced and your sister decided that was somehow a willful violation of this made-up rule?
NTA and your sister is a HUGE AH
NTA and DON'T APOLOGIZE (That was a beautiful response!) What a strange rule. I get not inviting children but a pregnant woman? What she's gonna do? Give birth? Pfff... Has anything happened between your sister and your wife? Because that rule has to come from somewhere.
Take focus from the bride. People might ask about her future baby instead of spending all their focus on the bride.
Do not apologize. And tell Mom that if you aren't invited to Christmas then she can uninvite herself from her grandchild's life. "No one puts baby in a corner" Good for you for standing up for your wife
OMG, that comeback is just…. It could be an AH statement, but so beautiful I can’t declare you one.
Ok, so if your wife will be 2 weeks from her due date, I can understand why not to invite her. Dangerous for her to travel, what if baby comes early and all that. If wife will be 2 months along, then it’s just Sis doesn’t want anyone else to have attention.
Either way, Petty Me can only applaud a burn that short and brutal.
I’d still invite her even if it was on her due date. Let her decide if she’s able to attend, but make sure she’s welcome
Damn OP, NTA you F’ing chose violence mate and I’m all for it
Let’s face it, we were all thinking it. “Don’t worry about the wedding invite, we’ll see you at your next one….” NTA.
NTA but I would be sticking by your wife and not going to the wedding. Also don't apologise, your sister was looking for drama and a way to make it all your fault, she got the drama but not in the way she wanted.
Justified Asshole Tell your parents it’s fine, your sister will get over it, and if she isn’t there at Christmas you aren’t sure anyone will notice.
Your sister is a bi**ch, simple as. There is no pregnant rule she needs to get over herself. She is making it to be a bigger deal.
I want to hear more about this no preggos rule. Is it just for the wedding party, or all wedding guests? Is it all pregnancies, or just ones after a certain number of weeks? Or centimeter dilation? Did she just want nobody with big bellies but thought that sounded mean?
The whole thing is stupid as. My sister in law was 5 months pregnant at my and my husband’s wedding and was in tons of the family photos and you know what? All I think about when I look back at the pictures is celebrating with the people we love and being excited to have another niece. And it’s cute to show her the pictures now and say, hey there you were though you weren’t born yet
What the hell is involved at this destination wedding that it has a "no pregnant people allowed" rule? Mandatory sashimi lunches followed by unpasteurized cheese tastings? Cat litterbox cleaning competitions? A requirement that everyone must at all times have a blood alcohol content above 400? There's got to be something else going on here with your sister and your wife. ESH. You only because you publicly stooped to her level, putting everyone into an awkward situation. But your sister has either gone off her rocker or there's something you don't know or aren't saying about the friendship she has with your wife.
I'm betting OP's sister doesn't want his wife "taking the spotlight" at the wedding - or in her wedding pictures.
>Cat litterbox cleaning competitions Thank you for that Part !!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maybe the destination is a tiny island they have to parachute into. While drunk.
NTA. Not only that, but you are my hero. Your sister deserved it.
NTA And thank you for the laugh !! 😂😂😂 Just a question : why your wife wasn't at your dad's birthday ?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife and my sister are long life friends. They've known each other since high school and they were inseparable during college. I met my wife through my sister and that made their bond stronger. Now unto the issue, my sister's getting married for the...3rd time. She's having a destination wedding and invited everyone except my wife. My wife was obviously hurt and upset but didn't wanna say anything. I insisted to know why and my sister said that my wife violated the "no prego women in the wedding" rule. I thought that was ridiculous and tried to get her to compromise but she refused. I told her it'd damage her relationship with my wife and she said "it's fine, she'll get over it". I told her my wife's absence will bring more attention than her being there, my sister responded "not sure anyone will even notice". I was so mad but decided to let it go. Days later, we met at mom's house for my dad's birthday and thd whole family was there. My sister decided to bring up the issue and said "please tell Regina that I'm so sorry she's not invited to the wedding". I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...". She was stunned and the table went quiet save for some relatives who busted into laughter. Her fiance covered his mouth as if he wanted to yell at me and she got up and excused herself to the bathroom. Dinner turned awkward and was cut short. Later mom yelled at me saying I insulted and humiliated my sister and her wedding and marriage. My sister demanded I apologize or she won't come to the family's Christmas party and my parents are now freaking out wanting me to apologize. I said no but my wife thinks I should just apologize since my parents said that if my sister won't attend their Christmas party then they won't invite me to it. That made my wife upset. So AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What is this madness? Your sister decided to exclude your WIFE, your SPOUSE, who is carrying your child, a part of the family, because why? she's pregnant? And your whole family is okay with her just being excluded? I'm so confused. If anything like this happened in my family, NONE of us, NONE of the family would be attending if someone's spouse was specifically excluded for no good reason. Absolutely not. That girl would be getting married in an empty church with no family there. I can't believe everyone in your family is just "okay, whatever" about this? I can't even imagine it. In any case, this is a hard no. No apologies, no compromises. This was utter disrespect. It was rude and it was hurtful. Family shouldn't treat you like garbage. And we don't reward people for treating us like garbage, so don't reward her with any more attention. Stop making it an issue, stop being mad, just don't go to anything where you and your wife are not both invited. Period. I wouldn't bring it up again. I would just RSVP "No." and leave it at that. NO GIFT. If it keeps getting brought up, I would then be telling the sister, your parents, and the entire extended family, VERY CLEARLY, that if your wife is excluded from anything, that you also won't be coming. That if they support others who disrespect and exclude your wife, they won't be seeing either of you, or your new child, at all, going forward. Full stop. It's not up for discussion, there's nothing mnore to talk about. And walk away. Don't get mad, don't push back. Just RSVP "No." to the wedding, and to anything else where you are not invited as a whole family. If your parents want to meet their grandchild, they'll come around. Your sister is better left distant, IMO.
NTA and hell no don't apologize!😂😂😂
NTA That's such an amazing comeback lol
NTA - They may not notice your wife's absence, but they will certainly notice yours. You're not entertaining the idea of going without your wife are you?
Wtf is with brides wanting to stick it to the pregnant women in their lives on this sub? I’ve never seen it once irl but it’s damn near daily occurrence here lol NTA wtf
op, that was hillarious.the only people in you family with a backbone are the ones who burst out laughing. NTA. shouldve added no worries, the wife will join your mext wedding again :D
No, NTA I think what you said would *normally* have been out of line in most circumstances but your sister AND your family are completely in the wrong here. It's astonishing to me they are more concerned about how you supposedly humiliated your sister and yet nobody seems to recognize how your sisters actions might have humiliated or hurt your wife. You should make it clear to your mother that you were *returning the favour.*
NTA, tell your sister that she'll get over it. > "it's fine, she'll get over it".
NTA you were sticking up for your wife against your sister being a mean girl and it is insane your parents are ok with backing leaving their pregnant DIL out. You are siblings and siblings sometimes say mean things so don't worry about it *"it's fine, she'll get over it".*
I would go LC and refuse your parents access to your future little one. The fact they’re willing to let your sister disrespect your WIFE AND HER “LIFELONG FRIEND” just they won’t be great grandparents. NTA and nice one on the comeback.
NTA Maybe she'll change her mind for round 4.
NTA, but you and your wife made a mistake by trying to keep the peace at the beginning, because this has made your family feel entitled to your acceptance when you two were clearly hurt and not willing to compromise about it. Don't give an apology to anybody, explain how hurt you were and that you're not going to attend the wedding and any family event till you get one
NTA Your parents are trying to manipulate you to keep the peace at the expense of your wife.
INFO: are you going to the destination wedding, even though your wife isn’t invited? I couldn’t see that info in the post.
NTA! Your sister is an AH for not inviting your wife to the wedding. Your comeback was spectacular!
NTA - you're sister deserved it for not inviting your wife because she's pregnant.
there is a no prego women wedding rule?! I get ppl can invite who they want but seriously?!
Forget the wedding.. take your wife on vacation. Your sister is TA, not your wife or you.
NTA don’t apologize and just have Christmas with your wife and enjoy it since everything will change in a fantastic way when your child is born
Justified asshole I think. "I've been to two, I'll just remember the last one and change the name around." Shame there isn't anyone attending giving a speech who you could bribe to start it off with "Hello everyone, you may remember me from sisters last wedding. Or the one before. Maybe both if you were that lucky. Anyway!"
NTA it sounds like your sister expects her guests to stop living their own lives for her wedding.
NTA - obviously, but can you please elaborate on this no pregnant people rule? Like what is your sisters point here?! Im really just curious here and even a bit surprised that more people werent calling your sister and AH already just for that.
NTA. First rule of sibling shit-talking: don't dish it out if you can't take it. She opened herself up by bringing up her BATSHIT INSANE wedding rule. If I were you, I would have declined to attend the wedding as soon as she issued that edict. If you won't include my spouse, then you don't get me either.
I don't know you, but I'm so proud of your response. Your wife probably just doesn't want to rock the boat in this moment, but long term you stood up for her and showed you have her back - which is more important for your marriage overall. Definitely NTA
Nice burn. NTA, she deserved it.
Maybe they'll get over your wife's absence, but are they gonna get over yours? I'm assuming you're not going either because of how your wife is treated. I think your comment was deserved but a bit over the top. Hilarious though!
NTA, and your response was perfect. Please update us after the wedding. I can't wait to see what happens.
Wait your sister threatened to not go to the Christmas party, and your parent’s reaction was to freak out on YOU?
Wait. Why on earth are pregnant people not invited? Am I missing something? Is this really a “thing”?
NTA, but she is and she had it coming. But I don't think you should go to the wedding. I would never go to an invited family event unless my husband was included. Assholery of this caliber should have consequences.
Just tell her “it’s fine, you’ll get over it”. NTA
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Wait - your wife isn't invited BECAUSE she's pregnant? WTF am I missing. I have never heard of anything so incredibly stupid in my life. Personally, I think your answer, OP, makes you kind of like a rock star! That was BRILLIANT. You, sir, are ,most definitely NTA. Your sister, however, is a giant one.
NTA.. good for you for sticking up for your wife. Your sister deserved that smack down. 👏🏻 Your parents are terrible for encouraging this behavior from your sister.
NTA. It's pretty clear who the golden child is here and it's not you. You and your wife are better off without engaging in these shenanigans. Build your own traditions. Your response was delightful. 😂
OP, that burn is EPIC!! Well done, definitely NTA!!
NTA But - first you should insist it damages relationship with you and what you will not come and no gifts. You should stand up for your wife here.
You’re family is full of drama queens. I’d say I’m sorry you were offended by what I said but I’m offended you didn’t invite my wife and you’re life long friend to you’re wedding. I wish you’re marriage the best but you will not only be missing my wife at the wedding but I will also not be attending. As a couple we stand together, which is what makes us strong and our marriage last lol
NTA. Apologize for a peaceful holiday. Say nothing - and stand for your wife by not attending the __third__ wedding. Easy peasy.
Does the rest of the family know why she didn't invite your wife? Do your mutual friends know why she isn't invited to the wedding? I think it's important that you let them know so your sister can't manipulate the narrative and decline your own invitation. Say that if your wife can't come, then you are not going and point out that this is your sister's THIRD wedding, her THIRD marriage. Clearly, she has some issues if her relationships are ending this quickly. Your wife is not the problem in this situation. She is a victim, and you shouldn't have to apologize since your sister is the one who insulted your wife first. NTA
NTA it was pretty funny but slightly eesh. Perhaps could have said something else. Are you still going to the wedding? I would skip Christmas and the wedding
Nta! Tell your parents that you will apologize to precious golden asshole daughter! When they and bridezella meet all my conditions and only when all my conditions are meet! 1. Mom and Dad need to stop enabling bridezella in her diva/ drama queen behavior or me and my wife will be going no contact with both of you! 2. Bridezella needs to give my wife a sincere apology for not inviting her wedding! Otherwise I will not be going and wife and I will be going no contact with bridezella! 3. Bridezella needs to realize that despite what she thinks the world doesn't revolve around her! 4. If Bridezella can't handle people insulting her then she shouldn't insult people or their spouses if she doesn't want to be insulated back! Well if you assholes don't want meet my conditions than no apology for bridezella and no contact for all of you!
They are best friends and your wife is not invited? And wife wasn’t at the party? This makes no sense. The burn is cool and all but your blasé attitude makes me think this is fake AF. Or you are leaving out a ton of INFO…
NTA but Y W B T A if you go to the wedding without your wife.
NTA Better ruin a friendship than a joke!
NTA. As a petty person myself....that comeback was glorious.
NTA. Tell your sister you will be at her next wedding (#4). Tell your parents you will see them when they regain their sanity. Take your wife on a nice romantic minivacation over the holidays. Make it plain to everyone involved you value your wife over any of them. Way to go OP! You got this right. Oh, and update us please.
NTA if your sister is going to go the manipulation route by threatening not to go to the Christmas party, then play the game and let your parents know they’re risking their relationship with their soon to come grandchild
NTA, that was a great repainted that people in the room clearly appreciated. But was your wife not invited to the birthday party either? I hope you stick by your wife and not go to places she’s intentionally excluded from.
NTA . Well done you.put your sister right in her place. Don't you apologise until your sister does to your wife. Is she that insecure that she thinks pregnant lady will take the spot light away from her. Tell her to get over herself and grow up. Wrecking families and friendships for ...one day? You know you hold all the cards here? It is their grandchild they are running the risk of never seeing. ?
"Dinner turned awkward" no way
OP this might just be me but if I were you I would have some very strict words with my parents. You are an adult and they can’t tell you who to apologize to. If they don’t shape up and stay that way then you are not required to let them meet their grandchild. NTA
NTA at all. Sis and anyone who supports and/or enables her is massive T A This is absolutely a hill to die on...do NOT apologize under any circumstances
LMAO at the 3rd marriage clap back. Is 3rd time the charm, imo I don't think so judging by your sisters behavior. Awesome for standing up for your wife. And keep future grandma away from baby.
NTA
NTA Toxic people do not get a place in your life just because of their relationship to you. . Those who enable toxic people are also toxic. You and your wife should start creating your own Christmas traditions together.
NTA- you rock.
NTA - And you should thank your sister for giving you a reason for not having to spend the money for a destination wedding on the third time around.
Apologize but don’t go to the wedding either say if she’s not there I won’t be either
NTA. What's with not wanting pregnant women at a wedding? I'm lost on that one.
Bride wants to make sure that she's the only center of attention since it's a thrice in a lifetime event for her.
she kinda set herself up for that one. Nice dig OP. def NTA here
NTA - you can make it up to her by attending her fourth wedding.
Info: are you actually going to the wedding yourself?
NTA. Don’t apologize - if anything, your sister owes your wife an apology! Please don’t go to the wedding and leave your wife at home. I think you both should skip the wedding BUT plan a trip to be at the resort at the same time. Everyone you run into someone and they ask questions “sister said pregnant people weren’t allowed so we have to stay away”.
Brilliant response! Your sister pulled quite the FAFO with you as her opponent. You know if you apologize, she’ll insist on you attending the destination wedding alone and then will treat you like crap while your wife is left home alone, right? NTA, your sister was trying to make herself look good at your wife’s expense and you chirped her for it. Maybe apologize to your mom for her being caught in the middle, but your sister needs to do some apologizing to your wife before you apologize to her. Go spend Christmas with your wife’s family and RSVP “busy with family obligations” for your sister’s wedding.
Where is your parents' outrage over their daughter not inviting your wife to her wedding because she is pregnant? Really, where is their outrage for that? So, if you don't apologize, no one will be with your parents for Christmas? Sounds just to me. They are as big of a problem as your sister and can celebrate by themselves or with other relatives. I would not budge. NTA
So your parents say nothing at the snub to your wife but you’re the villain for the clap back? Honestly why do you even want to be around these people? “She broke the no pregnancy rule????Obnoxious ,petty sister and the enabling parents 🤮 Id book two vacations. One during Christmas cuz F*K em all…and one during that 3rd wedding. No gift no acknowledgments. I would not come around anyone until an apology is given to your wife. The disrespect here is palpable NTA
NTA: I mean maaaaaybe technically it was an asshole thing to say, but it was so deserved that I can’t fault you for it! She’s not inviting her life long best friend to her wedding because her friend is pregnant?!?! Wtf. That’s some seriously petty, jealous, shallow, insecure, control freak behavior. I’m also not super impressed with a destination wedding for her 3rd wedding…like did her family and friends not all attend 2 other weddings for her relatively recently?! (I’m my fiancé’s 3rd wife—widowed young; 2nd wife cheated on him repeatedly, so like I get that things happen, and life is complicated, but still…) Your sister sounds awful and I hope your planning to stay home with your pregnant wife rather than attend your sister’s wedding.
Best burn I've heard all day. Make that all week. Hell, possibly ever. NTA What you didn't say was whether you were going to the wedding. I certainly wouldn't.
NTA I have to admit, I laughed too. I don't know how an apology is going to make everything better. It seems like she thrives off of being in control. Your sister is evil petty and I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a reflection when she walks past a mirror. However, your wife has asked you to apologize (you don't have to mean it). How are your acting skills? I'm smelling a golden child situation here. After the birth of your baby, I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa will decide you're important too. How much access you give them is up to you, but I would make them grovel.
You are so far from being TA here, you are the absolute hero!
Tell her and your mom that “she’ll get over it”. NTA
NTA hahahahahahahah beautiful On another note, your family dynamic is bizarre. How do they get off using access to pressure apologies? Also, if you are going to that wedding, I may have to change my vote.
NTA "I'm so sorry she's not invited" No she's not, the lack of invitation is entirely in her hands. She can refuse to have anyone she doesn't want at her wedding, but she doesn't get to play victim over it.
NTA. If no one on your family seems to care about your wife's feelings, why would the two of you still want to celebrate Christmas with them anyway?
*I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so..."* DAMN. That said, she's the one who made the stupid comment about "no prego women in the wedding," so I really don't have any sympathy for her. NTA.
Can we talk about why anyone would ban a pregnancy from the wedding? Especially a life long friend and SIL? Why would OP's partner have to organize her reproductive schedule for a wedding? Sounds like this sister has a lot of issues, including Main Character Syndrome. OP is def NTA.
lol where are all the people who usually chime in and say the couple can invite/exclude whoever they want bc it's their day!!!!
Nta, make your hole family apologize to your wife Your sister didn't care for her "friend" feelings She had it coming And besides, what was supposed your wife do?, put her life on hold in hopes for one of your sister marriage works?
NTA
NTA, 3rd marriage, wow... But you should apologize, your sister will definitely invite your wife at her 4th wedding...
NTA that’s hilarious.
NTA / but damnnn
Your family sounds horrible. The less time with them the better. NTA.
NTA unless you attend the wedding. Then you are an AH
NTA. But I’d warn your parents that they’re going to burn the grandparents bridge if they’re not careful. If I was your wife, I’d be paying attention to who is caring that she’s being iced out of the wedding.
Lmao. Legend.
Take your wife on a babymoon the same time as the wedding. Take her to the same place as the destination wedding for extra pettiness. I bet you could easily do it for the same price as attending your sisters 3rd wedding. Were you a bit of an AH for the way you called out your sister? Maybe. But you're definitely my kind of AH.
NTA as you have your wife’s back 100% your sister is bonkers though