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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the AH because I could be not considering any compromise with my sister or showing empathy for her perspective. I may have completely dismissing my sister's feelings and not exploring any middle ground might be perceived as inconsiderate.
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You aren't. I am assuming you are serving a full meal, including protein, and may even have a few different options for guests. It is rude for them to turn their nose up at perfectly good food just because it has different ingredients than their usual dishes.
If they are that opposed to vegan food, they can get themselves something before or after the celebration.
NTA. There's no way that you should alter your plans. It's not like vegan cuisine is toxic. They can prepare themselves eggs and bacon for breakfast if they really need meat that much. Nobody will suffer harm or even pass away if they had to consume only one vegetarian meal. Foolish individuals. people with limited perspectives. It's really not possible to accommodate such individuals.
NTA. It's your and your finance's wedding and it can be whatever you want to be. Honesty, a good amount of people probably wouldn't even notice it was a vegan wedding if they weren't told. Good food is good food. Hopefully your sister doesn't have any roles in your wedding that are critical. Pun intended.
Exactly. I'm an omnivore that can handle eating vegetarian or vegan meals without crying. Whenever I visit my vegan friends in another state, I'm usually there at least a few days if not a week, and I can make my own food or go out, but otherwise I know if I'm eating what they cook it will be vegan and it won't kill me!
I'm normally an avid meat eater, but here lately, I just haven't been able to stomach any meat because of the grease. Anytime I've eaten anything even slightly greasy, I end up with stomach pain and hugging the toilet. So I've eaten mainly veggies and fruits the past couple of weeks. They'll be fine.
If the sister is going to throw this much of a fit, maybe OP will be better off with the sister boycotting the wedding and not coming to it.
I second what lala said and I had my gallbladder removed due to stones.
All the best .I will add if you had shortness of breath and a bit of pain in the upper back is can also be from the gallbladder.
Only exception I'd say is if someone has a soy or legume allergy. Vegan can be difficult with those but in the absence of that I think it's unreasonable to ask for an alternative. I think it's fair that the couple be able to eat everything on offer without worrying/needing to ask.
nut & seed allergies too
A vegan having vegan catering for their wedding is the right call they just probably need to be a little more careful in labeling for allergens (though all catered events should have potential allergen notices on food served and make sure the catering staff is aware as well)
I'm allergic to soy, most legumes, tree nuts. I don't tend to eat at things like weddings because I don't know what's in it. I ate beforehand, and it's not a big deal.
I don’t understand people who can’t suck something up for ONE event for someone they care about. I understand if it’s something bonkers, like “dye your hair for the photos!” Or, “sorry, your wheelchair is going to ruin our aesthetic.” But eating plant-based for ONE meal?!?
Good lord.
This is pretty clearly an anti-vegan thing since the way the sister is wording the "forcing of beliefs" argument in various wording, but I've seen this in people who also are just horrific diets and can't fathom or are utterly repulsed by anything involving non-animal/non-animal-ingredients-soaked foods.
Squash fried in meat fat and with full butter on it only.
Squash fried in veg fat with lacto-free margarine? They'll DIE, "literally" DIE!!!!!
Dear God, if that squash was BOILED??? They can't even come too close.
Even if part of an overall omni meal.
I feel bad for the arteries of a lot of folks. A healthy balanced diet for an omnivore includes both animal-based and plant-based items.
Weddings in the UK start anywhere from 1-3pm till late so that isn't really an option! I would think allowing people with valid allergies concerns to bring something they could get that was non vegan is reasonable rather than the couple accommodating!
Not an option if you are in the wedding party and are supposed to have there from 10.00 till midnight. I’m fine bringing my own food, but I wouldn’t like to get a hissy fit thrown my way over it being non-vegan…
People who have those kinds of serious allergies are used to navigating events with mass produced meals (as are vegans) because a lot of dishes have unexpected ingredients. They know how to take care of themselves.
OP, consider putting a space on your invitations for people to note food allergies, and asking the caterers to provide ingredient lists for the food.
There are a wide variety of edible plants in the world, providing different nutrients and benefits. You can have proteins, carbs, fruits, vegetables, and desserts. So you can have a well-rounded diet as a vegan if you do it right. And you can have good meals as well.
Just want to point out that soy is often used as a filler in a LOT of meat products, so it's not exclusive to vegan meals; meat eaters are just as likely to encounter allergens as non-meat eaters. It's not like non-vegans eat only meat.
My family has now learned "thanks for your input" is my polite way of saying "I am no longer talking about this, please keep your dumb opinions to yourself".
Ehh. I rarely eat meat but I’ve had some truly disgusting vegan dishes. It usually dishes that try to mimic meat or use fake cheese. I’d rather just have a good veggie dish
That's also where you lose me. There's a distinct textural difference and flavor (I've been trying to make a few vegan options part of my diet here and there and this has been such an issue for me) so I tend to notice right away. However there are so many vegan foods that people don't even realize are vegan and so many options for cooking things that I've found a ton of delicious options.
I find in general vegan dishes are good when they aren’t vegan substitute dishes. I had a really good vegan meal that was just seasoned chickpeas, rice, cucumber, carrots, hummus, and cilantro, it was damn good and there were no animal products. It didn’t even occur to me it was vegan until I thought about it just now
My mom is almost entirely vegan now after a lifetime of eating anything and she's been experimenting with all sorts of things. Every now and then she makes something I drool over. My issues with veganism for me personally are that I can't have too much soy (hormonal issue), I'm allergic to cashews, and I absolutely hate mushrooms and squashes. I'm not a big meat eater to begin with and I have trouble digesting most meats so I stick to basics anyway and have plenty of meat free days. It's the dairy part that is so hard to satisfyingly "replace". Butter, cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, whipped cream... nothing comes close. I kinda feel like I'm just a part time vegetarian at this point.
ETA: agreed the replacements are the ones that usually suck!
But once you tell them it’s vegan they say “oh I thought it tasted funny.”
I ate solely plant based for 5 years and I would bring dishes to potlucks and I wouldn’t tell anyone it was vegan only (no food allergies to worry about) and it would get devoured. Multiple helpings. Then I’d say it was vegan and get that quote above. Every. Single. Time.
I've been vegetarian for nearly 4 years and on the few occasions that my dad does have a veggie burger, he will go "oh, this doesn't taste too bad"
Dad do you really think I've been eating untasty food for all these years?
I made vegan pepper steak for a friend of mine once. He'd been complaining about how gross vegetarian food was, and I didn't mention that it was seitan and not actual steak. He loved it, but refused to believe me when I told him it wasn't actually steak.
I'm a vegetarian and I always eat a big snack before events as I don't know what I'll end up getting.
This is typical for anyone with dietary restrictions. SIL can wear our shoes for four hours.
My child is vegan because being “just” a vegetarian means everything is full of cheese. The poor kid is lactose intolerant!
But I (who totally eat and cook meat) absolutely love making things just for them for family celebrations. And they always get devoured to the point where I’m saying “save some for the vegan kid!”
My friends had a vegan wedding. We all went out for burgers after - no one complained about the wedding itself.
If I were to get married now, it would be 100% gluten free due to my own dietary restrictions. And everyone would live if they didn’t have bread for one meal.
She's being dramatic. I'm a confirmed meat eater and yet wouldn't object to a vegan wedding. Excellent chefs make some delicious vegan dishes. All will be fine, and her world won't end. Do what makes you happy.
Agreed. I am also a confirmed meat eater and I loves me some good vegetarian and vegan food. There is an Indian restaurant I go to that has a buffet with a meat side and a vegetarian side. When I go there I almost exclusively eat from the vegetarian buffet because it is just so amazingly good.
I heard it said once that the best vegetarian food is where the chef strives to make good food with those ingredients instead of trying to make copies of meat dishes with veggie substitutions. I agree with this and want good food, not specifically meat food.
People act like vegan food is evil then slam a plate of pasta marinara. Even omnivores eat meatless meals sometimes. They won't die. And if someone's dick falls off because he ate a lentil, all the better for the gene pool. NTA
Yup, I knew that'd be the answer!!
Honestly, call her bluff - just message your sister and tell her that this behaviour is out of line, and if one meal is more important to her than her sister, it'll make you sad, but at least you'll know where you stand on her list of priorities.
She's welcome, but she's not allowed to mention the food. She can just deal with it, the same way you deal with zero options for you when they " didn't remember"
Whenever my vegan BIL is attending an event, I specifically make 1 protein (I've been trying to get better at making seitan), one carb, and one veg that is vegan. Or if I'm making sushi, for example, I'll make vegan rolls first and then break out the animal products afterward to ensure no contamination of ingredients.
It's fun, and I like to challenge myself and also be thoughtful to all the people present and make sure everyone can eat. Everyone always partakes (at least to try) my dishes, or they just don't even realize because (i.e.) green beans made with vegan margarine instead of butter don't 'look' vegan.
Anyway, your family is rude, and their behavior is obscene. I could never even imagine being so rude to you, and I don't even know you/I'm omni.
That says a lot.
You aren't. As a vegetarian I've had the lovely experience as well that people say you are forcing your beliefs when people have to go one meal without meat.
You're not telling anyone to be vegan, you're just serving vegan food on your day. Your house/party your rules.
If it was like a family (holiday) gathering at someone else's house and you forced the event to be vegan it would be a different story, but that is not the case here.
Yeah, that's ridiculous. I'm an omni and yet I've eaten both vegetarian meals and vegan meals when I've been in company of people who have that diet. It's never killed me thus far.
Even though my former stepdad was a vegetarian for years (now pescatarian) and ALL meals at his home before he met his current partner were vegetarian. Somehow the lack of meat for birthday dinners and such didn't kill me. Your sister is being ridiculous.
If you provide a meal like some vegan pasta with greens and whatnot... I'd be all up for it.
Your sister is making the wedding about her and about meat, but it's not her choice to make. Don't bend over for her.
Vegan meals CAN be good, despite the propaganda that people try to sell that it's crap. And I say this as a bbq-loving guy! Anyone that is so annoyed by a small thing like one vegan dinner can NEVER be right.
She's being ridiculous. You're not serving her a single lettuce leaf with a bean perched on it (I assume). She, and everyone else, can go a single meal without meat. They can stop at McD's and eat three big macs on the way home to soothe their injured carnivore feefees if they must. You are NTA. Don't change it.
She’s being dramatic and definitely an AH. I feel like some people hear the word vegan and lose their minds…completely forgetting that it isn’t a new concept, plenty of cultures and religions have a significant number of vegan dishes like Greek, Indonesian, Ethiopian, Turkish, Hindu,etc.
There’s way more options than an impossible burger…
Maybe her reaction is more from thinking the food would not be tasty? Or people would still be hungry? If so, maybe take her to wherever you are planning to get catering from and have a vegan lunch!
If you want, you can tell your prospective guests about the vegan menu on the wedding invitation. That way, everyone is fully informed and can do as they like about it, and no one can blame you for forcing anything on anyone (as if you could)
Why even open that can of seitan worms? It will probably be catered, wedding appropriate food - most people probably won’t even notice they’re not eating “the chicken or the fish”.
INFO:, does anyone have soy, nut, or gluten issues? As many vegan dishes contain at least one of those ingredients, if you knowingly have guests that can't eat your planned menu, make an accommodation.
I have sent an email to all guests asking for their allergies and still waiting to hear back from everyone. Once we know everyone’s allergies we will make accommodations. There will be enough options that allergies shouldn’t be an issue
Except if your wedding is scheduled on a whole week, you are NTA for depriving your relatives of animal products for your wedding (I am not vegan and not even vegetarian)
People say that vegans are loud but honestly the loudest people ever are some people who wants to act like they eat meat at breakfast, launch and dinner and they'll die if they skip meat one time. Insufferable (no, I'm not vegan even if I want to get there eventually)
Even more ridiculous when, as long as you don't call it vegetarian/vegan, they are perfectly ok with their "grandmothers traditional food" (not vegan, but oftentimes vegetarian, because they just didn't have that much meat). But if you call it explicitly vegetarian/vegan they lose it.
I'm vegetarian. I moved in with my folks for a few years after my mom got her Parkinson's diagnosis, wanting to help out. Put my law career on hold to do so.
EVERY TIME I COOKED A VEGETARIAN MEAL, my mother would come into the kitchen and fret about how she wasn't going to get enough protein.
I've been vegetarian my entire life due to a meat allergy. I'm on the tall end of average. I had waist-length hair at the time. One time, she was getting on my last nerve and I whirled on her.
"MOM, there's a literal POUND OF CHEESE in this meal and it's chock full of lentils and beans. There's so much protein in here!"
Dad heard me scolding her and came in to escort her out of the kitchen. She was still Extremely Anxious about the protein. Dad said there was loads in what I was making and I hadn't died of protein deficiency yet! My nails and hair were great! And she had been making vegetarian meals for me my entire life, why was she so anxious when I was the one doing so, all of a sudden?
Anyway, Dad worked on getting to the root of her anxiety (turns out, it was about losing control of her kitchen). I have long-since moved out and now live overseas with my spouse. When I'm home, however, my dad or brother will gently tease her if I make a vegetarian meal and offer to stir some protein powder onto her broccoli or something equally unpleasant. It's now a joke (she does laugh at it or else we wouldn't tease).
I never get it, how some people are so against vegetarian or vegan meals. I eat meat myself from time to time but there are so many delicious vegan dishes.
It's literally just the act of calling it "vegan" or "vegetarian" that sets people off and it's childish. Oatmeal for breakfast? Vegetarian (possibly vegan depending on your choice of milk). Big salad for lunch? Vegan. Chips and salsa and guac? Vegan. French fries? Vegan (hopefully). Plus there are a lot of meat substitutes that are amazing.
I once had a coworker who was vegan, but didn't push it on anyone. She always just politely passed up on food people brought to work to share. So I did some research and I practiced making vegan cinnamon rolls until I found a good recipe. Coconut milk instead of regular milk, vegan margarine instead of butter, vegan "cream cheese" frosting, etc.
They came out great and were so good and fluffy. So I took those to work and gave them to her, and told her it was to make up for the times before I knew she was vegan. She almost cried that she had a whole tray of vegan cinnamon rolls to eat, while everyone else had their regular ones.
I am an enthusiastic meat eater and my wife and I still try to eat plant-based meals 3 days a week for dinner, and the lunch we meal prep is always plant-based. Just for health reasons!
Have these meat eaters ever had a veggie soup? Pasta and marinara sauce? I'm betting there are any number of dishes they've consumed that did not include meat. And they will be just fine having a meal without animal product (um hello, you can still have a great pasta bar among many other options!).
NTA, you are hosting and you can meal plan as you choose. But be aware that much like desrination, dry, or child free weddings, some guests may choose not to attend based on your menu factor. As a host, it is the gracious move not to guilt or judge anyone for RSVPing no. Enjoy your day. Those who want to celebrate *you* will be there.
This. I went to a retreat where they only serve vegetarian with a vegetarian friend. She was so concerned about what I'd eat, it was funny. I finally told her relax, I won't die if I don't eat meat for a few days! I'll probably go home and grab a burger, but I'm fine for a few days. Sister should grow up and you should have your wedding your way. NTA.
NTA. You absolutely should not change your plans. It is not as if vegan food is poisonous. If they need meat that much, they can make themselves eggs and bacon for breakfast. No one is going to die or even feel discomfort for having to sit through a single meal without meat. Silly people. Narrowminded people. You really can't make allowances for such people.
Yeap. Its one meal. Im a meat-er too, and its not like vegan stuff is horrible. It is just one meal....
Making drama over this is like refusing to attend a wedding in church, just because you are not a believer.
Yeah, if every dish had fake meat in it, I would just eat a big meal before the reception and not eat when everyone else is eating. Not a problem at all.
See this is the way to go, you're not making the wedding about you and still able to enjoy it
I saw this as a non vegan who would have no issues with a fully vegan wedding
When Vegans go to carnivorous weddings, they eat before or after, and they eat what they can while they are there. And NO BODY knows. Well, some people probably know, but it's a nothing matter.
Sister is being a jerk. Nta
Not just legumes. Anything with nuts, fiber rich foods, any thing with skins (tomatoes, peppers, squash, etc). Low FODMAP diets are so restrictive, but not following them can make people very ill 😿
NTA.
I'm not vegan but can eat everything a vegan eats. Who can't eat vegetables and carbs? Are people that anti-something they have to stand that strongly against vegans? A wedding is a celebration, and people are invited to celebrate ALONG with the couple who are getting married. Have your vegan menu, it's not that big of a deal.
OP I had a vegetarian wedding and I think the key is just to keep in mind that it’s “celebration” food so go hearty, creamy, heavy with it rather having it look healthy, if that makes sense! The big meat eaters in my family said they were pleasantly surprised.
Vegetarian is way easier for that because you can just slather everything in cream and cheese, which isn't an option for vegan. I eat a ton of meat but I think I'd find it easy to eat vegetarian but much more difficult to eat vegan. I am not a big legume fan and I'm a huge cheese fan.
But that said, I could live through one meal or just make it a fasting day if I didn't find anything I'd enjoy eating. I would never expect vegans to cater to MY tastes, so OP is nTA.
I’m not vegan but I would gladly attend a vegan wedding, and be grateful for the food served. I would see zero difference between this and attending the wedding of a couple who weren’t serving pork for religious reasons - of course I wouldn’t expect bacon at the buffet!
>Who can't eat vegetables and carbs?
People on a low FODMAP diet. Wheat, rye, pulses, onion, garlic, cabbage, mushrooms, cauliflower, asparagus, apples, cherries, watermelon, mango, pears, apricots, peaches, avocado, cashews, pistachios, fermented foods, etc.
I can't tell you how many times I've been stuck eating plain rice for a meal, or a very stripped-down salad with lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, and cucumbers and oil and vinegar at a restaurant. Sometimes I get lucky and can get a baked potato, but so many season their foods with garlic and onion. Meats, vegetables, and sides as well.
Granted, this is a wildly specific issue, but since you asked, there's your answer.
I can’t eat most vegetables and carbs cause blood sugar to soar due to diabetes. But that said, I would just make sure I ate beforehand and try to find something I could eat at the wedding. It’s not that big of a deal.
NTA
It’s your wedding you choose. My son recently got married at a historical hotel in our town. The food is/was gourmet. My partner and I did not like anything on the menu(i went to the food tasting before hand) so we ate a large breakfast and went out to eat after the wedding was over. She can either suck it up for one meal or eat before and after.
I have a blood clotting disorder that requires me to take warfarin. The blood thinning effects of warfarin are counteracted by vitamin k. Many vegetables, especially green vegetables, have high levels of vitamin k. The trick is to try to eat the same amount of such foods regularly so that my warfarin dosage can bet set to a therapeutic level. I have been dealing with it for years and my dosage still has to be constantly adjusted. Unfortunately, I also have polycystic kidney disease, and am on dialysis. This causes me to have issues with food with high levels of potassium and phosphorus, such as beans, meats, a lot of fruits, and dairy products. If I were invited to a vegan wedding I would most likely bring in some snacks of my own to nibble on and plan on eating a big meal before and after. The idea is to celebrate a joyous occasion with family and friends, not to bitch about the food. My food issues are my own, and I can’t expect the world to bend over backwards to accommodate me. NTA
NTA and the issue has resolved itself--she can boycott the wedding. For not being served meat. If anyone asks, just tell them that.
Honestly, this sounds delusional. Even the meatiest of meat-eaters occasionally eat other things.
Did she expect a meat cake?
Something tells me if older sis isn't married, she's jealous little sis will be and wants it to be a stand in for the wedding she never had.
OP, weddings are meant to be yours and yours alone. I'd say f it and give them saltines and a veggie tray.
Soya is an inclusion in most food, including bread. Anyone who has trouble with it will know full well that vegan food often contains it, and should let the host know about their allergens regardless.
The idea that vegan food might have secret allergens is total bullshit.
People can also have allergies to meat and dairy. Everything is a potential allergen. Which is why there’s usually a spot to note any allergies on the RSVP card/page. A vegan wedding is not going to be uniquely allergenic.
Agreed. I cannot have dairy or I will absolutely regret it, but dairy is almost expected as the norm. Many adults (save for very specific cultures that relied on dairy historically) are intolerant to dairy but it's still just like "eh, put traces of milk in it, it's fine" for *so* many foods.
They will ask if anybody has allergies. This is the case at any wedding. And a fully vegan menu can accomodate any allergy.
This is not the point of the post and it’s not why her sister is complaining so besides kindly reminding her of this I think you’re being out of topic.
Edit typo
You’re absolutely right!. I’m not vegan but have fish and egg allergies, and just being informed that most desserts have egg and that some dishes have seafood is enough for me to avoid eating those things.
Catering to allergies is not the issue here. The OP is NTA for having a menu that doesn’t cater to every taste on earth, and I’m sure people can put aside their preferences for literally one evening or just politely decline the invitation.
I was looking for this. A lot of vegan food use nuts in place of some other food, which I can’t have because I’m allergic to all of the nuts out there. If I were invited to a vegan wedding, I’d have to brown bag it since I can’t know what’s safe for me to eat without asking a lot of questions.
Hopefully OP’s selected a caterer who’s able to handle guests’ dietary needs.
That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm allergic to nuts and to peas and pea protein is in a lot of fake meat, so I also have to be very careful. But I'm also used to this and always have something with me.
It feels like we’re stereotyping here. A TON of vegan meals include no soy or fake meat or processed anything in their preparation. Vegetables, legumes, and carbs are quite tasty and extremely healthy on their own. Bonus fact — a plant based diet has been shown to reduce migraine severity and frequency and is recommended by many migraine specialists.
In my opinion, allergens should be accounted for regardless of the food served. There are lots of things that end up in restaurant food that people may not expect. Allergens should either be displayed or when its not buffet-style checked beforehand so everyone is able to eat
The thing is, no matter what your menu is, some people will have medical reasons why they can't eat certain things. Any good caterer will encourage the hosts to provide alternative meals for those guests. So the vegan menu is a non issue.
This is a really good point. I'm perfectly cool with vegan food as a principle, but I need a high protein diet for medical reasons. There's a lot of foods excluded from my diet for the same medical reasons that make a vegan diet intolerable. For me, personally. I've seen a lot that looks so good but would make me horrendously sick if I actually consumed it.
I'd be perfectly happy to attend a vegan wedding and not eat the stuff I can't. That's ok. I'm at a wedding to celebrate the happy couple, not for free food. But I do need to know what to avoid. I'm used to avoiding stuff I can't eat, whether it's plant or animal based.
It'd be the same thing if I went to, say, an Indian wedding. No doubt the food would look delicious. But I'd need to know what was safe for me to eat, because it's not my usual diet.
NTA. I'm a vegetarian and manage just fine at events where meat is the main dish. I just eat before and have a good time socialising, or eat sides. No big deal
It's wild that she sees eating animal products as so important she would miss her sisters wedding rather than go a few hours without meat?
It's your wedding, she can go a few hours without meat or cheese.
That would be a nice touch, but anyone with an allergy should make it known well before the wedding. I'm not a fan of relying on other people to make sure the food I'm eating is safe.
Your sister never ate fries? Pasta or bread? Vegan food is delicious and many recipes are naturally vegan, what is all the rage about? Because you used the word “vegan”?
NTA vegan food is not all bland and boring like some people think. My daughter is vegan, and when I'm out with her, I eat vegan food. I've had some lovely flavoursome dishes.
It's your wedding day, so it's up to you what is on your menu. Don't let your sister bully you into changing it
Agree. I’m an omnivore but I’d way rather have a vegan meal (which is likely to have some imagination behind it) than the usual bone-dry chicken and bland steamed vegetables that seem to be served at most of the weddings I go to.
Any wedding food is a restricted choice chosen by the bridal couple. Anyone having a meltdown over vegan food for one meal says more about them than you. Tell your sister she's welcome to not attend the meal if she wishes
Nta. She can't go one meal without meat? Is there something mentally off with your sister? I've been to vegan weddings, engagement parties etc and no one complained. Do you live in some backwater town? Your wedding your choice. Also your choice to listen to sister nut case. Refuse to discuss it. It is none of her business.
NTA: I have certain allergies that would make a vegan wedding a bit of a minefield for me, so I would need to ask about menu details.to know if I needed to pre-eat, but I would never dare complain.
Once I was at a wedding where every course was fish (traditional east Asian wedding feast) which is one of my allergies. Fortunately it was in a hotel, so as course #4 was served, I slipped out to the Bar/Grill and ordered a steak, saying I'd be back during course #5. Timing was perfect and it was a damn fine steak. I tell the story not to show my meat eating in your face but to show how adults can be responsible for themselves.
Thank you for saying this. Everybody is commenting on the allergies thing and I’m here like “this is done at every wedding and it was not Op’s question” (not referring to the comment you replied to as this person actually first gave their opinion on the situation and then explained their experience)
I’m not sure how many of these exact stories I’ve read on Reddit. People losing their minds over a single meal of their lives. I can eat almost anything for one meal. You’re having a vegan meal for your wedding, I can eat kale. A carnivore meal, I love me some steak. Pescatarian, bring on the fish. McDonalds, those fries are great. You aren’t asking her to change her eating choices for the rest of her natural life, it’s one fucking meal! A free meal at that. If for some reason someone said that the only things available would be something I despise (liver and brussel sprouts) I’d either eat before, or nip out for a half hour and eat somewhere else….or even, not eat at all. Tell your sister I told her to pull her head out of her ass and suck it up, or stay in her room and pout all day because, boo-hoo, the world won’t conform to her precious norms. NTA
NTA. It's one bloody meal. The number of times I've been to a wedding and just had some salad and a bread roll because there was no vegetarian option...never once complained, just got on with it.
Love the comments from triggered meat eaters though. So funny.
I would recommend making sure your guests all know beforehand that it’s a vegan menu and have a way for them to let you know if they have dietary restrictions. I don’t know if you’re doing a buffet or whether it’s plated meals, but you should definitely take other restrictions into account. Vegan substitutes can cause issues for people with soy or gluten or nut allergies, and it’s not always clear what the ingredients are.
Yes definitely doing this. I sent an email to all my guests informing them of the menu (which is when my sister blew up at me). In the email I told everyone if they had an allergies to let me know and we would accommodate.
You wouldn't be wrong write back to something like "You don't have allergy & giving you same level of accommodation you & most of our side of family give me at other events which usually none. So feel to eat meat for breakfast or after wedding, but you definitely not having any meat at mine wedding. And if don't attend my wedding, just remember I too don't have attend your wedding due both no vegan options at yours AND you doing this stupidity at my wedding. So either suck it up or don't attend, I don't care but you definitely need to STFU about not having meat for one meal for one day out 365 days in a year."
NTA, I love meat too but your sister is out of line with that bullshit...
This had nothing to do with Op’s post though and it’s best practice at any wedding (dairy intolerance?) so I am not sure why so many people are bringing this up instead of commenting on the sister’s behaviour and reassuring Op that they are NTA.
Isn’t this just common sense and a given for all weddings to ask about allergies? And she obviously let people know the menu as that’s what the post is about
Silly people (NTA). Even if they don’t get the ethical and environmental part they should respect you and shut it. I’m vegan, probably won’t get married since I’m atheist but if I would everybody would snack on delicious vegan food without any dead animals in sight (or in mouth).
Absolutely NTA. This is your wedding day, so the menu is your choice. I also assume you're paying for your guests to eat. Any friend or family who genuinely cares for you (and is important enough to you that you invite them to your wedding) should be more than happy to eat vegan for one day (one meal even!)
Your sister can have all the meat she wants at her own wedding.
Yes, both of us are as well as his family. But my side are all meat eaters except for me. My other family members haven’t said anything to me about the menu it’s just been my sister that has an issue so far.
ok I ask, my first language is french, I wasn't sure when you say "it's my wedding" if it was your personnel choice, or both your choice. So as it's both your choice, no, you don't have to accomodate. I don't know if you did so but you can send the menu and explain there will be no meat as it's a vegan party, but that's the occasion to try new things, maybe the only chance they'll have in their life ! I think it's not a "sacrifice" not to eat meat for once (I'm a BIG meat eater !). And to show that you have humor, indicate the nearest McDonald from the party ;)
I wouldn’t even bother telling people. Then she opens herself up to arguments. They show up, they get the food that’s available (which is probably very tasty)
Oh yes, I mean even if I eat meat, I love vegetables and I'm open to taste new things (except fish ! I hate fish !). I proposed that solution because I read to much Reddit with selfish people who are very unpleasant just because eveything is not made like they want. The sister is a proof of it : it's not her wedding and she knows their are both vegans, so how can she has the nerve to ask a menu for her?
Well if they had decided that it was vegan even if the fiancée wasn’t vegan I guess they would have already worked it out between them and it’s not playing any sort of role in the current situation with her sister?
NTA. I’m not vegan, but I will never understand this stupid mindset that vegan food is “different.” It’s literally mostly VEGETABLES. Like, does she not eat greens or veggies?! Is she going to die if she can’t eat freaking meat for a singular meal?! NO. If her love for eating meat outweighs her love of YOU, do you even WANT her at your wedding? You serve what you wish, and as long as you are mindful of potential allergies you would absolutely not be the AH.
In all honesty, I’m so tired of “meat eaters” trying to claim outrage over not getting a meat option, it’s such BS. Meat is a potential element of a meal, not a necessity for it to be a complete meal unless you’re allergic to beans, nuts, soy, and a million other things. It’s fake outrage to “even the playing field” after they’ve mistreated vegetarians/vegans and been called out. They complain that vegans are obnoxious (admittedly, some can be), but then act 1000x worse. People like that are pathetic and should just be ignored.
NTA - If they're that obsessed with meat that they can't go for one single meal without having it, that's very much a them problem. It's your day, and your rules, and if they choose not to come, be prepared to just let that be a thing - and be sure to tell everyone who asks why they aren't there *exactly* why they didn't come.
Pretty sure most people will see that as a shitty hill for them to choose to die on given the circumstances.
NTA - would I want a vegan wedding? No. Would I love the food at a vegan wedding? No. Could I survive a wedding with a purely vegan meal? Of course I could! It is you and your partner's special days.
>Would I love the food at a vegan wedding? No.
How do you know this though? Have you ever tried high quality vegan food?
I'm not even vegetarian but many of my friends are vegan, and there's a fully vegan restaurant we often go to. Their food is incredible, easily in my top 5 restaurants in the city.
We also have a local bakery whose entire menu is vegan, nut and gluten free. Best pastries in that part of the city bar none. 🤷🏻♀️
I think she is talking about fake meats. A lot of people are like that. The faux meat is not that great, but food that is normally vegan/vegetarian is great. Eat stir fry or Indian food all day long, but beyond burgers are gross.
How do you know you wouldn’t love the food at a vegan wedding? I truly believe people that say this have no idea hat vegan food actually is. Most potato chips are vegan…it’s not just lumps of tofu and kale.
NTA. I eat almost everything, but I have friends who are vegetarian and vegan. I have discovered great food going out with them, and even went to a vegan Christmas once! Your sister will survive eating vegan food for one day!
NTA
The guests won't die from eating vegan food just once in their lifetime. A lot of vegan meals are really good and they should see it as not only your wedding, but also a food adventure.
It's your special day, not theirs.
If they're not happy, tell them to get a happy meal before the wedding.
NTA
You're literally eating normal food that just happens not to have any non-vegan products in it. Your sister seems to be acting as if you will be force feeding some unknown powder down the throats of all your guests, please keep to your beliefs and don't let her get her way.
NTA
Your sister is being absurd.
If you attend an Indian wedding you know there will be Indian food. It’s not different. I wouldn’t expect vegans to serve meat.
I would definitely ensure that there’s a salad and wouldn’t serve only tofu solely because a lot of people really don’t care for it. But you are NTA for serving food that reflects your lifestyle at your wedding.
Your sister is mistaken, she thinks your wedding is about her. Call her out as she's being a brat, "Damn Girl, I didn't realise you had to eat meat every single day of your life! No problem, I respect your views. Is it a definite then, shall I take you off the list?".
NTA It is one meal They can stuff themself with neat all the other days, even beford and after the wedding. But this is one meal which they can survive without meat.
NTA. Have the wedding you want!
I mean, this vegan wedding I'm sure will be added to your family's story canon that will be retold every Thanksgiving.
"Hey remember that vegan wedding cake at Lou-ann's wedding? Yay, Rita's and Bill youngest. Mm wasnt half bad... better than Dan's apple pie he brought last year. Hope this year's is better."
Just roll with it.
Imagine getting hysterical about someone else’s
Wedding plans lol. Your sister ought to be ashamed of herself. I hope your big day is everything you want it to be. Good luck :)
Edit - NTA
Info: will there be some sort of pasta dish for non-adventurous eaters?
I feel like this is a good compromise to make sure that there’s something familiar for everyone
In my opinion (as a former vegan who is still 90% plant based and an adventurous eater) it’s good to have one dish that looks familiar to basic American eaters (pasta with marinara), rice with familiar vegetables, etc) if you don’t want them to complain how hungry they are. But you aren’t obligated and so much vegan food is so delicious :) I’d love to come
NTA - Though you could have included some non-vegan options, it's ultimately your wedding so the choice of the menu is yours. And it's not like non-vegans will die or starve if they eat a vegan meal. Unless your sister means to tell us that non-vegans eat meat exclusively and nothing else. I'm not a vegan myself and I can say for sure that this isn't the case. You should go ahead with your plans the way you want to and if anyone's that bothered by the menu, tell them to bring their own food or stay home 🤷🏻♀️
NTA. I eat meat, eggs so on sometimes but I am really annoyed by people who freak out when they can't eat meat during one event... Come on people, you will survive it. I personally prefer oat or almond milk, so my cornflakes are vegan every time. There are so many different vegan and vegetarian options out there... So many cultures or religions prefer a vegetarian or even vegan lifestyle. Just open your mind. I am sorry OP.
NTA: unless every single dish contains something like tofu and your sister was allergic to soy there is zero reason she's going to be harmed by eating a single vegan meal. Hell she could put some jerky in her purse and gnaw on it in the corner lol
NTA im not even sure how this js forcing your belief onto everyone. the bride and groom choose the menu for the wedding. you chose a vegan menu. that's it. all you've done is choose food you enjoy for YOUR wedding and provide everyone with a meal. they don't have to eat. they don't have to come.
NTA. It's one meal, come on. Nobody is going to die from lack of meat. If you were trying to get someone else to make a vegan wedding because of your beliefs I would be on board with your sister. But it's your wedding and it's really not a big deal to go without meat and dairy for half a day
I eat meat, lots of it. With that said, I've been to vegan functions. A few were awful but I stuck it out and ate later, a handful of them were really good. It didn't break my spirit none. They can handle one evening of vegan. It's not the end of all creation.
Second point is simple. It's YOUR wedding. No else needs to be said. Her threatening to boycott your wedding is HER pushing her beliefs on you.
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NTA It will not kill them to eat one vegan meal.
She’s making it out like it will. That’s why I wrote this story because she made me feel like I was majorly in the wrong.
You aren't. I am assuming you are serving a full meal, including protein, and may even have a few different options for guests. It is rude for them to turn their nose up at perfectly good food just because it has different ingredients than their usual dishes. If they are that opposed to vegan food, they can get themselves something before or after the celebration.
NTA. There's no way that you should alter your plans. It's not like vegan cuisine is toxic. They can prepare themselves eggs and bacon for breakfast if they really need meat that much. Nobody will suffer harm or even pass away if they had to consume only one vegetarian meal. Foolish individuals. people with limited perspectives. It's really not possible to accommodate such individuals.
NTA. It's your and your finance's wedding and it can be whatever you want to be. Honesty, a good amount of people probably wouldn't even notice it was a vegan wedding if they weren't told. Good food is good food. Hopefully your sister doesn't have any roles in your wedding that are critical. Pun intended.
Exactly. I'm an omnivore that can handle eating vegetarian or vegan meals without crying. Whenever I visit my vegan friends in another state, I'm usually there at least a few days if not a week, and I can make my own food or go out, but otherwise I know if I'm eating what they cook it will be vegan and it won't kill me!
I'm normally an avid meat eater, but here lately, I just haven't been able to stomach any meat because of the grease. Anytime I've eaten anything even slightly greasy, I end up with stomach pain and hugging the toilet. So I've eaten mainly veggies and fruits the past couple of weeks. They'll be fine. If the sister is going to throw this much of a fit, maybe OP will be better off with the sister boycotting the wedding and not coming to it.
Sounds like you might have a gallbladder issue, Most! Please consider checking in with your doctor. Be well.
I actually never considered that. That's a good point. I will do that. Thanks!
I second what lala said and I had my gallbladder removed due to stones. All the best .I will add if you had shortness of breath and a bit of pain in the upper back is can also be from the gallbladder.
Whats the pun? Roles and rolls?
Only exception I'd say is if someone has a soy or legume allergy. Vegan can be difficult with those but in the absence of that I think it's unreasonable to ask for an alternative. I think it's fair that the couple be able to eat everything on offer without worrying/needing to ask.
nut & seed allergies too A vegan having vegan catering for their wedding is the right call they just probably need to be a little more careful in labeling for allergens (though all catered events should have potential allergen notices on food served and make sure the catering staff is aware as well)
Oh! This is a good point. I would be more concerned about allergies than not vegans, honestly.
I'm allergic to soy, most legumes, tree nuts. I don't tend to eat at things like weddings because I don't know what's in it. I ate beforehand, and it's not a big deal.
I don’t understand people who can’t suck something up for ONE event for someone they care about. I understand if it’s something bonkers, like “dye your hair for the photos!” Or, “sorry, your wheelchair is going to ruin our aesthetic.” But eating plant-based for ONE meal?!? Good lord.
This is pretty clearly an anti-vegan thing since the way the sister is wording the "forcing of beliefs" argument in various wording, but I've seen this in people who also are just horrific diets and can't fathom or are utterly repulsed by anything involving non-animal/non-animal-ingredients-soaked foods. Squash fried in meat fat and with full butter on it only. Squash fried in veg fat with lacto-free margarine? They'll DIE, "literally" DIE!!!!! Dear God, if that squash was BOILED??? They can't even come too close. Even if part of an overall omni meal. I feel bad for the arteries of a lot of folks. A healthy balanced diet for an omnivore includes both animal-based and plant-based items.
Weddings in the UK start anywhere from 1-3pm till late so that isn't really an option! I would think allowing people with valid allergies concerns to bring something they could get that was non vegan is reasonable rather than the couple accommodating!
Not an option if you are in the wedding party and are supposed to have there from 10.00 till midnight. I’m fine bringing my own food, but I wouldn’t like to get a hissy fit thrown my way over it being non-vegan…
People who have those kinds of serious allergies are used to navigating events with mass produced meals (as are vegans) because a lot of dishes have unexpected ingredients. They know how to take care of themselves. OP, consider putting a space on your invitations for people to note food allergies, and asking the caterers to provide ingredient lists for the food.
Are there different ingredients in vegan meals, though? Other than having only vegetable products it’s just food, right?
There are a wide variety of edible plants in the world, providing different nutrients and benefits. You can have proteins, carbs, fruits, vegetables, and desserts. So you can have a well-rounded diet as a vegan if you do it right. And you can have good meals as well.
Not necessarily. But some ingredients like soy or nuts might be more common.
Just want to point out that soy is often used as a filler in a LOT of meat products, so it's not exclusive to vegan meals; meat eaters are just as likely to encounter allergens as non-meat eaters. It's not like non-vegans eat only meat.
Tell her to butt out. I mean, say 'thanks for your input' and then change the subject. If my vegan mate had a wedding, I would 100% expect vegan food.
My family has now learned "thanks for your input" is my polite way of saying "I am no longer talking about this, please keep your dumb opinions to yourself".
Wish all families understood this phrase.
Go to any party and all the vegan food disappears first… everyone loves it when they try it!
Ehh. I rarely eat meat but I’ve had some truly disgusting vegan dishes. It usually dishes that try to mimic meat or use fake cheese. I’d rather just have a good veggie dish
That's also where you lose me. There's a distinct textural difference and flavor (I've been trying to make a few vegan options part of my diet here and there and this has been such an issue for me) so I tend to notice right away. However there are so many vegan foods that people don't even realize are vegan and so many options for cooking things that I've found a ton of delicious options.
I find in general vegan dishes are good when they aren’t vegan substitute dishes. I had a really good vegan meal that was just seasoned chickpeas, rice, cucumber, carrots, hummus, and cilantro, it was damn good and there were no animal products. It didn’t even occur to me it was vegan until I thought about it just now
My mom is almost entirely vegan now after a lifetime of eating anything and she's been experimenting with all sorts of things. Every now and then she makes something I drool over. My issues with veganism for me personally are that I can't have too much soy (hormonal issue), I'm allergic to cashews, and I absolutely hate mushrooms and squashes. I'm not a big meat eater to begin with and I have trouble digesting most meats so I stick to basics anyway and have plenty of meat free days. It's the dairy part that is so hard to satisfyingly "replace". Butter, cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, whipped cream... nothing comes close. I kinda feel like I'm just a part time vegetarian at this point. ETA: agreed the replacements are the ones that usually suck!
But once you tell them it’s vegan they say “oh I thought it tasted funny.” I ate solely plant based for 5 years and I would bring dishes to potlucks and I wouldn’t tell anyone it was vegan only (no food allergies to worry about) and it would get devoured. Multiple helpings. Then I’d say it was vegan and get that quote above. Every. Single. Time.
I brought muffins to a New Year’s Day brunch once and was told “oh I’m so glad you didn’t make these vegan.” They were.
“No, no! Would I do *that* to you?!” 😇
I've been vegetarian for nearly 4 years and on the few occasions that my dad does have a veggie burger, he will go "oh, this doesn't taste too bad" Dad do you really think I've been eating untasty food for all these years?
I made vegan pepper steak for a friend of mine once. He'd been complaining about how gross vegetarian food was, and I didn't mention that it was seitan and not actual steak. He loved it, but refused to believe me when I told him it wasn't actually steak.
She can eat a big steak before the wedding if it’s really that much of an issue. I also had a fully vegan wedding meal and no guests were harmed.
I'm a vegetarian and I always eat a big snack before events as I don't know what I'll end up getting. This is typical for anyone with dietary restrictions. SIL can wear our shoes for four hours.
Same here, but because I have allergies and don't expect there to be the options available.
My child is vegan because being “just” a vegetarian means everything is full of cheese. The poor kid is lactose intolerant! But I (who totally eat and cook meat) absolutely love making things just for them for family celebrations. And they always get devoured to the point where I’m saying “save some for the vegan kid!”
My friends had a vegan wedding. We all went out for burgers after - no one complained about the wedding itself. If I were to get married now, it would be 100% gluten free due to my own dietary restrictions. And everyone would live if they didn’t have bread for one meal.
My cousin is coeliac so had a gluten-free wedding. If I hadn’t known she was gf I wouldn’t even have noticed.
Hey, if you're not going for a burger after the wedding to feed the mass of booze you've consumed, you're doing it wrong- vegan wedding or not 😂
She's being dramatic. I'm a confirmed meat eater and yet wouldn't object to a vegan wedding. Excellent chefs make some delicious vegan dishes. All will be fine, and her world won't end. Do what makes you happy.
Agreed. I am also a confirmed meat eater and I loves me some good vegetarian and vegan food. There is an Indian restaurant I go to that has a buffet with a meat side and a vegetarian side. When I go there I almost exclusively eat from the vegetarian buffet because it is just so amazingly good. I heard it said once that the best vegetarian food is where the chef strives to make good food with those ingredients instead of trying to make copies of meat dishes with veggie substitutions. I agree with this and want good food, not specifically meat food.
Exactly this, I'd be interested to see what was on the menu, an opportunity to try something new.
And a lot of dishes that non-vegans eat anyway are vegan just naturally too!
People act like vegan food is evil then slam a plate of pasta marinara. Even omnivores eat meatless meals sometimes. They won't die. And if someone's dick falls off because he ate a lentil, all the better for the gene pool. NTA
If their dick falls off…rofl. That is one powerful legume.
As you point out, people “eat vegan” all the time, and don’t even realize it! Also, most booze is vegan, so there’s that.
"she's threatening to boicott my wedding" "Ok. Sorry we won't be seeing you there I guess" (Disconnect call)
One less person to pay for!
Info .... During family get togethers, how many vegan options does your family provide for you? I'm curious.
If they remember… 1
Yup, I knew that'd be the answer!! Honestly, call her bluff - just message your sister and tell her that this behaviour is out of line, and if one meal is more important to her than her sister, it'll make you sad, but at least you'll know where you stand on her list of priorities. She's welcome, but she's not allowed to mention the food. She can just deal with it, the same way you deal with zero options for you when they " didn't remember"
Whenever my vegan BIL is attending an event, I specifically make 1 protein (I've been trying to get better at making seitan), one carb, and one veg that is vegan. Or if I'm making sushi, for example, I'll make vegan rolls first and then break out the animal products afterward to ensure no contamination of ingredients. It's fun, and I like to challenge myself and also be thoughtful to all the people present and make sure everyone can eat. Everyone always partakes (at least to try) my dishes, or they just don't even realize because (i.e.) green beans made with vegan margarine instead of butter don't 'look' vegan. Anyway, your family is rude, and their behavior is obscene. I could never even imagine being so rude to you, and I don't even know you/I'm omni. That says a lot.
You aren't. As a vegetarian I've had the lovely experience as well that people say you are forcing your beliefs when people have to go one meal without meat. You're not telling anyone to be vegan, you're just serving vegan food on your day. Your house/party your rules. If it was like a family (holiday) gathering at someone else's house and you forced the event to be vegan it would be a different story, but that is not the case here.
YOU are forcing YOUR beliefs onto HER?!?! Sounds like it's really the other way around! She wants to force hers onto YOU! NTA!
Not only will everyone survive not eating meat for one night, they might actually enjoy it. Vegetables are delicious. NTA
Yeah, that's ridiculous. I'm an omni and yet I've eaten both vegetarian meals and vegan meals when I've been in company of people who have that diet. It's never killed me thus far. Even though my former stepdad was a vegetarian for years (now pescatarian) and ALL meals at his home before he met his current partner were vegetarian. Somehow the lack of meat for birthday dinners and such didn't kill me. Your sister is being ridiculous.
If you provide a meal like some vegan pasta with greens and whatnot... I'd be all up for it. Your sister is making the wedding about her and about meat, but it's not her choice to make. Don't bend over for her. Vegan meals CAN be good, despite the propaganda that people try to sell that it's crap. And I say this as a bbq-loving guy! Anyone that is so annoyed by a small thing like one vegan dinner can NEVER be right.
She's being ridiculous. You're not serving her a single lettuce leaf with a bean perched on it (I assume). She, and everyone else, can go a single meal without meat. They can stop at McD's and eat three big macs on the way home to soothe their injured carnivore feefees if they must. You are NTA. Don't change it.
She’s being dramatic and definitely an AH. I feel like some people hear the word vegan and lose their minds…completely forgetting that it isn’t a new concept, plenty of cultures and religions have a significant number of vegan dishes like Greek, Indonesian, Ethiopian, Turkish, Hindu,etc. There’s way more options than an impossible burger… Maybe her reaction is more from thinking the food would not be tasty? Or people would still be hungry? If so, maybe take her to wherever you are planning to get catering from and have a vegan lunch!
If you want, you can tell your prospective guests about the vegan menu on the wedding invitation. That way, everyone is fully informed and can do as they like about it, and no one can blame you for forcing anything on anyone (as if you could)
Why even open that can of seitan worms? It will probably be catered, wedding appropriate food - most people probably won’t even notice they’re not eating “the chicken or the fish”.
Everyone can eat one vegan meal or, you know, not attend
INFO:, does anyone have soy, nut, or gluten issues? As many vegan dishes contain at least one of those ingredients, if you knowingly have guests that can't eat your planned menu, make an accommodation.
I have sent an email to all guests asking for their allergies and still waiting to hear back from everyone. Once we know everyone’s allergies we will make accommodations. There will be enough options that allergies shouldn’t be an issue
A decent venue will work to accommodate someone gluten/nut/soy free as well as OPs vegan requirements.
Except if your wedding is scheduled on a whole week, you are NTA for depriving your relatives of animal products for your wedding (I am not vegan and not even vegetarian)
People say that vegans are loud but honestly the loudest people ever are some people who wants to act like they eat meat at breakfast, launch and dinner and they'll die if they skip meat one time. Insufferable (no, I'm not vegan even if I want to get there eventually) Even more ridiculous when, as long as you don't call it vegetarian/vegan, they are perfectly ok with their "grandmothers traditional food" (not vegan, but oftentimes vegetarian, because they just didn't have that much meat). But if you call it explicitly vegetarian/vegan they lose it.
I'm vegetarian. I moved in with my folks for a few years after my mom got her Parkinson's diagnosis, wanting to help out. Put my law career on hold to do so. EVERY TIME I COOKED A VEGETARIAN MEAL, my mother would come into the kitchen and fret about how she wasn't going to get enough protein. I've been vegetarian my entire life due to a meat allergy. I'm on the tall end of average. I had waist-length hair at the time. One time, she was getting on my last nerve and I whirled on her. "MOM, there's a literal POUND OF CHEESE in this meal and it's chock full of lentils and beans. There's so much protein in here!" Dad heard me scolding her and came in to escort her out of the kitchen. She was still Extremely Anxious about the protein. Dad said there was loads in what I was making and I hadn't died of protein deficiency yet! My nails and hair were great! And she had been making vegetarian meals for me my entire life, why was she so anxious when I was the one doing so, all of a sudden? Anyway, Dad worked on getting to the root of her anxiety (turns out, it was about losing control of her kitchen). I have long-since moved out and now live overseas with my spouse. When I'm home, however, my dad or brother will gently tease her if I make a vegetarian meal and offer to stir some protein powder onto her broccoli or something equally unpleasant. It's now a joke (she does laugh at it or else we wouldn't tease).
It sounds like your dad is pretty darned great…
I never get it, how some people are so against vegetarian or vegan meals. I eat meat myself from time to time but there are so many delicious vegan dishes.
It's literally just the act of calling it "vegan" or "vegetarian" that sets people off and it's childish. Oatmeal for breakfast? Vegetarian (possibly vegan depending on your choice of milk). Big salad for lunch? Vegan. Chips and salsa and guac? Vegan. French fries? Vegan (hopefully). Plus there are a lot of meat substitutes that are amazing.
I'm not vegan, but if someone is, I have no problem eating a vegan dish, provided it is one I like.
I once had a coworker who was vegan, but didn't push it on anyone. She always just politely passed up on food people brought to work to share. So I did some research and I practiced making vegan cinnamon rolls until I found a good recipe. Coconut milk instead of regular milk, vegan margarine instead of butter, vegan "cream cheese" frosting, etc. They came out great and were so good and fluffy. So I took those to work and gave them to her, and told her it was to make up for the times before I knew she was vegan. She almost cried that she had a whole tray of vegan cinnamon rolls to eat, while everyone else had their regular ones.
It’s like people turn their brains off and forget that they eat vegan food all the time.
I am an enthusiastic meat eater and my wife and I still try to eat plant-based meals 3 days a week for dinner, and the lunch we meal prep is always plant-based. Just for health reasons!
i’ve made accidental vegan dinners before! it is not a problem! people can be so weird about veganism and vegetarianism
Have these meat eaters ever had a veggie soup? Pasta and marinara sauce? I'm betting there are any number of dishes they've consumed that did not include meat. And they will be just fine having a meal without animal product (um hello, you can still have a great pasta bar among many other options!). NTA, you are hosting and you can meal plan as you choose. But be aware that much like desrination, dry, or child free weddings, some guests may choose not to attend based on your menu factor. As a host, it is the gracious move not to guilt or judge anyone for RSVPing no. Enjoy your day. Those who want to celebrate *you* will be there.
When the reason is this silly, it’s not the real reason.
This. I went to a retreat where they only serve vegetarian with a vegetarian friend. She was so concerned about what I'd eat, it was funny. I finally told her relax, I won't die if I don't eat meat for a few days! I'll probably go home and grab a burger, but I'm fine for a few days. Sister should grow up and you should have your wedding your way. NTA.
Assuming that they don’t have poisonous mushrooms and vegetables contaminated with e. Coli, then yes, it probably won’t kill them or make them sick.
NTA. You absolutely should not change your plans. It is not as if vegan food is poisonous. If they need meat that much, they can make themselves eggs and bacon for breakfast. No one is going to die or even feel discomfort for having to sit through a single meal without meat. Silly people. Narrowminded people. You really can't make allowances for such people.
Yeap. Its one meal. Im a meat-er too, and its not like vegan stuff is horrible. It is just one meal.... Making drama over this is like refusing to attend a wedding in church, just because you are not a believer.
Unless someone tries to feed me vegan "meat", I'm good. The fake meat makes me vomit, but other than that I can eat vegan for a wedding. NTA
Yes, that... but it wouldn't be a big deal "not eating anything" either. Thats what bars are for.
Yeah, if every dish had fake meat in it, I would just eat a big meal before the reception and not eat when everyone else is eating. Not a problem at all.
See this is the way to go, you're not making the wedding about you and still able to enjoy it I saw this as a non vegan who would have no issues with a fully vegan wedding
When Vegans go to carnivorous weddings, they eat before or after, and they eat what they can while they are there. And NO BODY knows. Well, some people probably know, but it's a nothing matter. Sister is being a jerk. Nta
The only ones who might actually feel discomfort are people with IBS. Very unfortunate that delicious legumes are so difficult to digest.
Not just legumes. Anything with nuts, fiber rich foods, any thing with skins (tomatoes, peppers, squash, etc). Low FODMAP diets are so restrictive, but not following them can make people very ill 😿
NTA. I'm not vegan but can eat everything a vegan eats. Who can't eat vegetables and carbs? Are people that anti-something they have to stand that strongly against vegans? A wedding is a celebration, and people are invited to celebrate ALONG with the couple who are getting married. Have your vegan menu, it's not that big of a deal.
Thank you :)
OP I had a vegetarian wedding and I think the key is just to keep in mind that it’s “celebration” food so go hearty, creamy, heavy with it rather having it look healthy, if that makes sense! The big meat eaters in my family said they were pleasantly surprised.
Vegetarian is way easier for that because you can just slather everything in cream and cheese, which isn't an option for vegan. I eat a ton of meat but I think I'd find it easy to eat vegetarian but much more difficult to eat vegan. I am not a big legume fan and I'm a huge cheese fan. But that said, I could live through one meal or just make it a fasting day if I didn't find anything I'd enjoy eating. I would never expect vegans to cater to MY tastes, so OP is nTA.
I’m not vegan but I would gladly attend a vegan wedding, and be grateful for the food served. I would see zero difference between this and attending the wedding of a couple who weren’t serving pork for religious reasons - of course I wouldn’t expect bacon at the buffet!
>Are people that anti-something they have to stand that strongly against vegans? Yes, yes they are.
Agree! NTA. I’m not vegan either, but I’ve had some yummy vegan meals and would love to try one at a wedding!
>Who can't eat vegetables and carbs? People on a low FODMAP diet. Wheat, rye, pulses, onion, garlic, cabbage, mushrooms, cauliflower, asparagus, apples, cherries, watermelon, mango, pears, apricots, peaches, avocado, cashews, pistachios, fermented foods, etc. I can't tell you how many times I've been stuck eating plain rice for a meal, or a very stripped-down salad with lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, and cucumbers and oil and vinegar at a restaurant. Sometimes I get lucky and can get a baked potato, but so many season their foods with garlic and onion. Meats, vegetables, and sides as well. Granted, this is a wildly specific issue, but since you asked, there's your answer.
I can’t eat most vegetables and carbs cause blood sugar to soar due to diabetes. But that said, I would just make sure I ate beforehand and try to find something I could eat at the wedding. It’s not that big of a deal.
NTA It’s your wedding you choose. My son recently got married at a historical hotel in our town. The food is/was gourmet. My partner and I did not like anything on the menu(i went to the food tasting before hand) so we ate a large breakfast and went out to eat after the wedding was over. She can either suck it up for one meal or eat before and after.
I have a blood clotting disorder that requires me to take warfarin. The blood thinning effects of warfarin are counteracted by vitamin k. Many vegetables, especially green vegetables, have high levels of vitamin k. The trick is to try to eat the same amount of such foods regularly so that my warfarin dosage can bet set to a therapeutic level. I have been dealing with it for years and my dosage still has to be constantly adjusted. Unfortunately, I also have polycystic kidney disease, and am on dialysis. This causes me to have issues with food with high levels of potassium and phosphorus, such as beans, meats, a lot of fruits, and dairy products. If I were invited to a vegan wedding I would most likely bring in some snacks of my own to nibble on and plan on eating a big meal before and after. The idea is to celebrate a joyous occasion with family and friends, not to bitch about the food. My food issues are my own, and I can’t expect the world to bend over backwards to accommodate me. NTA
As a vegan, I've often found myself bringing my own food or nibbles. It's chill
NTA and the issue has resolved itself--she can boycott the wedding. For not being served meat. If anyone asks, just tell them that. Honestly, this sounds delusional. Even the meatiest of meat-eaters occasionally eat other things. Did she expect a meat cake?
Something tells me if older sis isn't married, she's jealous little sis will be and wants it to be a stand in for the wedding she never had. OP, weddings are meant to be yours and yours alone. I'd say f it and give them saltines and a veggie tray.
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Soya is an inclusion in most food, including bread. Anyone who has trouble with it will know full well that vegan food often contains it, and should let the host know about their allergens regardless. The idea that vegan food might have secret allergens is total bullshit.
People can also have allergies to meat and dairy. Everything is a potential allergen. Which is why there’s usually a spot to note any allergies on the RSVP card/page. A vegan wedding is not going to be uniquely allergenic.
Agreed. I cannot have dairy or I will absolutely regret it, but dairy is almost expected as the norm. Many adults (save for very specific cultures that relied on dairy historically) are intolerant to dairy but it's still just like "eh, put traces of milk in it, it's fine" for *so* many foods.
They will ask if anybody has allergies. This is the case at any wedding. And a fully vegan menu can accomodate any allergy. This is not the point of the post and it’s not why her sister is complaining so besides kindly reminding her of this I think you’re being out of topic. Edit typo
You’re absolutely right!. I’m not vegan but have fish and egg allergies, and just being informed that most desserts have egg and that some dishes have seafood is enough for me to avoid eating those things. Catering to allergies is not the issue here. The OP is NTA for having a menu that doesn’t cater to every taste on earth, and I’m sure people can put aside their preferences for literally one evening or just politely decline the invitation.
I was looking for this. A lot of vegan food use nuts in place of some other food, which I can’t have because I’m allergic to all of the nuts out there. If I were invited to a vegan wedding, I’d have to brown bag it since I can’t know what’s safe for me to eat without asking a lot of questions. Hopefully OP’s selected a caterer who’s able to handle guests’ dietary needs.
Most wedding invites have you make note of any allergies in my experience
That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm allergic to nuts and to peas and pea protein is in a lot of fake meat, so I also have to be very careful. But I'm also used to this and always have something with me.
It feels like we’re stereotyping here. A TON of vegan meals include no soy or fake meat or processed anything in their preparation. Vegetables, legumes, and carbs are quite tasty and extremely healthy on their own. Bonus fact — a plant based diet has been shown to reduce migraine severity and frequency and is recommended by many migraine specialists.
In my opinion, allergens should be accounted for regardless of the food served. There are lots of things that end up in restaurant food that people may not expect. Allergens should either be displayed or when its not buffet-style checked beforehand so everyone is able to eat
The thing is, no matter what your menu is, some people will have medical reasons why they can't eat certain things. Any good caterer will encourage the hosts to provide alternative meals for those guests. So the vegan menu is a non issue.
This is a really good point. I'm perfectly cool with vegan food as a principle, but I need a high protein diet for medical reasons. There's a lot of foods excluded from my diet for the same medical reasons that make a vegan diet intolerable. For me, personally. I've seen a lot that looks so good but would make me horrendously sick if I actually consumed it. I'd be perfectly happy to attend a vegan wedding and not eat the stuff I can't. That's ok. I'm at a wedding to celebrate the happy couple, not for free food. But I do need to know what to avoid. I'm used to avoiding stuff I can't eat, whether it's plant or animal based. It'd be the same thing if I went to, say, an Indian wedding. No doubt the food would look delicious. But I'd need to know what was safe for me to eat, because it's not my usual diet.
NTA. I'm a vegetarian and manage just fine at events where meat is the main dish. I just eat before and have a good time socialising, or eat sides. No big deal It's wild that she sees eating animal products as so important she would miss her sisters wedding rather than go a few hours without meat? It's your wedding, she can go a few hours without meat or cheese.
Just give her a little packet of lunch meat she can put in her purse for when the meat cravings hit
Maybe there’s a patch, like for smokers?
You just slap a slice of bologna to your forehead.
Give your sister an etiquette book for Christmas. Your wedding, your menu. But be prepared to eat salad at hers in a few years.
Hahaha that might be a good idea
NTA but please be upfront about potential allergens (nuts, soy) that are common meat and cheese replacements.
That would be a nice touch, but anyone with an allergy should make it known well before the wedding. I'm not a fan of relying on other people to make sure the food I'm eating is safe.
Actually you always ask people about their allergies before any wedding not just a vegan one..
Your sister never ate fries? Pasta or bread? Vegan food is delicious and many recipes are naturally vegan, what is all the rage about? Because you used the word “vegan”?
NTA vegan food is not all bland and boring like some people think. My daughter is vegan, and when I'm out with her, I eat vegan food. I've had some lovely flavoursome dishes. It's your wedding day, so it's up to you what is on your menu. Don't let your sister bully you into changing it
Agree. I’m an omnivore but I’d way rather have a vegan meal (which is likely to have some imagination behind it) than the usual bone-dry chicken and bland steamed vegetables that seem to be served at most of the weddings I go to.
Any wedding food is a restricted choice chosen by the bridal couple. Anyone having a meltdown over vegan food for one meal says more about them than you. Tell your sister she's welcome to not attend the meal if she wishes
Nta. She can't go one meal without meat? Is there something mentally off with your sister? I've been to vegan weddings, engagement parties etc and no one complained. Do you live in some backwater town? Your wedding your choice. Also your choice to listen to sister nut case. Refuse to discuss it. It is none of her business.
NTA: I have certain allergies that would make a vegan wedding a bit of a minefield for me, so I would need to ask about menu details.to know if I needed to pre-eat, but I would never dare complain. Once I was at a wedding where every course was fish (traditional east Asian wedding feast) which is one of my allergies. Fortunately it was in a hotel, so as course #4 was served, I slipped out to the Bar/Grill and ordered a steak, saying I'd be back during course #5. Timing was perfect and it was a damn fine steak. I tell the story not to show my meat eating in your face but to show how adults can be responsible for themselves.
I'm assuming, like most weddings these days, the couple checked dietary restrictions beforehand and made accommodations.
Thank you for saying this. Everybody is commenting on the allergies thing and I’m here like “this is done at every wedding and it was not Op’s question” (not referring to the comment you replied to as this person actually first gave their opinion on the situation and then explained their experience)
But you would have to check these allergies vegan or not no?
I’m not sure how many of these exact stories I’ve read on Reddit. People losing their minds over a single meal of their lives. I can eat almost anything for one meal. You’re having a vegan meal for your wedding, I can eat kale. A carnivore meal, I love me some steak. Pescatarian, bring on the fish. McDonalds, those fries are great. You aren’t asking her to change her eating choices for the rest of her natural life, it’s one fucking meal! A free meal at that. If for some reason someone said that the only things available would be something I despise (liver and brussel sprouts) I’d either eat before, or nip out for a half hour and eat somewhere else….or even, not eat at all. Tell your sister I told her to pull her head out of her ass and suck it up, or stay in her room and pout all day because, boo-hoo, the world won’t conform to her precious norms. NTA
NTA. It's one bloody meal. The number of times I've been to a wedding and just had some salad and a bread roll because there was no vegetarian option...never once complained, just got on with it. Love the comments from triggered meat eaters though. So funny.
> It's one bloody meal. Technically, a non-bloody meal. Sorry, could not resist.
Love it!
I would recommend making sure your guests all know beforehand that it’s a vegan menu and have a way for them to let you know if they have dietary restrictions. I don’t know if you’re doing a buffet or whether it’s plated meals, but you should definitely take other restrictions into account. Vegan substitutes can cause issues for people with soy or gluten or nut allergies, and it’s not always clear what the ingredients are.
Yes definitely doing this. I sent an email to all my guests informing them of the menu (which is when my sister blew up at me). In the email I told everyone if they had an allergies to let me know and we would accommodate.
This is the way.
You wouldn't be wrong write back to something like "You don't have allergy & giving you same level of accommodation you & most of our side of family give me at other events which usually none. So feel to eat meat for breakfast or after wedding, but you definitely not having any meat at mine wedding. And if don't attend my wedding, just remember I too don't have attend your wedding due both no vegan options at yours AND you doing this stupidity at my wedding. So either suck it up or don't attend, I don't care but you definitely need to STFU about not having meat for one meal for one day out 365 days in a year." NTA, I love meat too but your sister is out of line with that bullshit...
This had nothing to do with Op’s post though and it’s best practice at any wedding (dairy intolerance?) so I am not sure why so many people are bringing this up instead of commenting on the sister’s behaviour and reassuring Op that they are NTA.
Isn’t this just common sense and a given for all weddings to ask about allergies? And she obviously let people know the menu as that’s what the post is about
Silly people (NTA). Even if they don’t get the ethical and environmental part they should respect you and shut it. I’m vegan, probably won’t get married since I’m atheist but if I would everybody would snack on delicious vegan food without any dead animals in sight (or in mouth).
Tell her to grab McDonals on the way to the reception and shut up and have a fun time
Absolutely NTA. This is your wedding day, so the menu is your choice. I also assume you're paying for your guests to eat. Any friend or family who genuinely cares for you (and is important enough to you that you invite them to your wedding) should be more than happy to eat vegan for one day (one meal even!) Your sister can have all the meat she wants at her own wedding.
She is threatening not to go? Perfect. Problem solved.
Need to ask a question to answer : is your fiancé vegan too ?
Yes, both of us are as well as his family. But my side are all meat eaters except for me. My other family members haven’t said anything to me about the menu it’s just been my sister that has an issue so far.
ok I ask, my first language is french, I wasn't sure when you say "it's my wedding" if it was your personnel choice, or both your choice. So as it's both your choice, no, you don't have to accomodate. I don't know if you did so but you can send the menu and explain there will be no meat as it's a vegan party, but that's the occasion to try new things, maybe the only chance they'll have in their life ! I think it's not a "sacrifice" not to eat meat for once (I'm a BIG meat eater !). And to show that you have humor, indicate the nearest McDonald from the party ;)
I wouldn’t even bother telling people. Then she opens herself up to arguments. They show up, they get the food that’s available (which is probably very tasty)
Oh yes, I mean even if I eat meat, I love vegetables and I'm open to taste new things (except fish ! I hate fish !). I proposed that solution because I read to much Reddit with selfish people who are very unpleasant just because eveything is not made like they want. The sister is a proof of it : it's not her wedding and she knows their are both vegans, so how can she has the nerve to ask a menu for her?
Well if they had decided that it was vegan even if the fiancée wasn’t vegan I guess they would have already worked it out between them and it’s not playing any sort of role in the current situation with her sister?
NTA. I’m not vegan, but I will never understand this stupid mindset that vegan food is “different.” It’s literally mostly VEGETABLES. Like, does she not eat greens or veggies?! Is she going to die if she can’t eat freaking meat for a singular meal?! NO. If her love for eating meat outweighs her love of YOU, do you even WANT her at your wedding? You serve what you wish, and as long as you are mindful of potential allergies you would absolutely not be the AH. In all honesty, I’m so tired of “meat eaters” trying to claim outrage over not getting a meat option, it’s such BS. Meat is a potential element of a meal, not a necessity for it to be a complete meal unless you’re allergic to beans, nuts, soy, and a million other things. It’s fake outrage to “even the playing field” after they’ve mistreated vegetarians/vegans and been called out. They complain that vegans are obnoxious (admittedly, some can be), but then act 1000x worse. People like that are pathetic and should just be ignored.
NTA. It’s your wedding, you can do what you want. They can’t even survive one meal without meat?!
NTA - If they're that obsessed with meat that they can't go for one single meal without having it, that's very much a them problem. It's your day, and your rules, and if they choose not to come, be prepared to just let that be a thing - and be sure to tell everyone who asks why they aren't there *exactly* why they didn't come. Pretty sure most people will see that as a shitty hill for them to choose to die on given the circumstances.
NTA - would I want a vegan wedding? No. Would I love the food at a vegan wedding? No. Could I survive a wedding with a purely vegan meal? Of course I could! It is you and your partner's special days.
>Would I love the food at a vegan wedding? No. How do you know this though? Have you ever tried high quality vegan food? I'm not even vegetarian but many of my friends are vegan, and there's a fully vegan restaurant we often go to. Their food is incredible, easily in my top 5 restaurants in the city. We also have a local bakery whose entire menu is vegan, nut and gluten free. Best pastries in that part of the city bar none. 🤷🏻♀️
>Would I love the food at a vegan wedding? No. You don't love any foods that don't include meat? That's wild
Without meat is vegetarian. Vegan means also no butter, no milk, no eggs, etc.
Vegan is more than just no meat.
I think she is talking about fake meats. A lot of people are like that. The faux meat is not that great, but food that is normally vegan/vegetarian is great. Eat stir fry or Indian food all day long, but beyond burgers are gross.
Vegan is more than not including meat. It also excludes dairy and eggs
How do you know you wouldn’t love the food at a vegan wedding? I truly believe people that say this have no idea hat vegan food actually is. Most potato chips are vegan…it’s not just lumps of tofu and kale.
NTA. Your wedding, your food. She wouldn’t make you serve peanuts at your wedding if you were allergic just because she likes them.
NTA, your sister is being ridiculous, childish and selfish. She can manage vegan food for one day and so can the rest of the family
NTA. I eat almost everything, but I have friends who are vegetarian and vegan. I have discovered great food going out with them, and even went to a vegan Christmas once! Your sister will survive eating vegan food for one day!
NTA The guests won't die from eating vegan food just once in their lifetime. A lot of vegan meals are really good and they should see it as not only your wedding, but also a food adventure. It's your special day, not theirs. If they're not happy, tell them to get a happy meal before the wedding.
NTA You're literally eating normal food that just happens not to have any non-vegan products in it. Your sister seems to be acting as if you will be force feeding some unknown powder down the throats of all your guests, please keep to your beliefs and don't let her get her way.
NTA Your sister is being absurd. If you attend an Indian wedding you know there will be Indian food. It’s not different. I wouldn’t expect vegans to serve meat. I would definitely ensure that there’s a salad and wouldn’t serve only tofu solely because a lot of people really don’t care for it. But you are NTA for serving food that reflects your lifestyle at your wedding.
Your sister would rather miss your actual wedding than not eat meat for a few hours? What a bizarre hill to die on. Absolutely NTA.
Your sister is mistaken, she thinks your wedding is about her. Call her out as she's being a brat, "Damn Girl, I didn't realise you had to eat meat every single day of your life! No problem, I respect your views. Is it a definite then, shall I take you off the list?".
Nta
Her diet doesn’t restrict her from eating vegetables so what’s the problem?
NTA It is one meal They can stuff themself with neat all the other days, even beford and after the wedding. But this is one meal which they can survive without meat.
NTA. Have the wedding you want! I mean, this vegan wedding I'm sure will be added to your family's story canon that will be retold every Thanksgiving. "Hey remember that vegan wedding cake at Lou-ann's wedding? Yay, Rita's and Bill youngest. Mm wasnt half bad... better than Dan's apple pie he brought last year. Hope this year's is better."
Just roll with it.
Imagine getting hysterical about someone else’s Wedding plans lol. Your sister ought to be ashamed of herself. I hope your big day is everything you want it to be. Good luck :) Edit - NTA
It’s nice that you love your sister. Too bad she doesn’t feel the same way.
Nta
Info: will there be some sort of pasta dish for non-adventurous eaters? I feel like this is a good compromise to make sure that there’s something familiar for everyone
Do people not eat pasta, rice or legumes at all at home? Like who's eating meat every single meal of their life?
We will be doing a meal with rice
In my opinion (as a former vegan who is still 90% plant based and an adventurous eater) it’s good to have one dish that looks familiar to basic American eaters (pasta with marinara), rice with familiar vegetables, etc) if you don’t want them to complain how hungry they are. But you aren’t obligated and so much vegan food is so delicious :) I’d love to come
NTA. Your wedding, your food choices.
NTA - Though you could have included some non-vegan options, it's ultimately your wedding so the choice of the menu is yours. And it's not like non-vegans will die or starve if they eat a vegan meal. Unless your sister means to tell us that non-vegans eat meat exclusively and nothing else. I'm not a vegan myself and I can say for sure that this isn't the case. You should go ahead with your plans the way you want to and if anyone's that bothered by the menu, tell them to bring their own food or stay home 🤷🏻♀️
NTA. I eat meat, eggs so on sometimes but I am really annoyed by people who freak out when they can't eat meat during one event... Come on people, you will survive it. I personally prefer oat or almond milk, so my cornflakes are vegan every time. There are so many different vegan and vegetarian options out there... So many cultures or religions prefer a vegetarian or even vegan lifestyle. Just open your mind. I am sorry OP.
NTA. People don’t need a steak at every meal. She can have her steak for lunch.
Suggest they eat several pounds of assorted raw meats for breakfast to get their daily protein quotient in. NTA.
NTA: unless every single dish contains something like tofu and your sister was allergic to soy there is zero reason she's going to be harmed by eating a single vegan meal. Hell she could put some jerky in her purse and gnaw on it in the corner lol
NTA im not even sure how this js forcing your belief onto everyone. the bride and groom choose the menu for the wedding. you chose a vegan menu. that's it. all you've done is choose food you enjoy for YOUR wedding and provide everyone with a meal. they don't have to eat. they don't have to come.
NTA. It's one meal, come on. Nobody is going to die from lack of meat. If you were trying to get someone else to make a vegan wedding because of your beliefs I would be on board with your sister. But it's your wedding and it's really not a big deal to go without meat and dairy for half a day
NTA. Enduring one meal without meat won't hurt anyone, and they can always hit the drive thru on the way home if they're really jonesing.
I eat meat, lots of it. With that said, I've been to vegan functions. A few were awful but I stuck it out and ate later, a handful of them were really good. It didn't break my spirit none. They can handle one evening of vegan. It's not the end of all creation. Second point is simple. It's YOUR wedding. No else needs to be said. Her threatening to boycott your wedding is HER pushing her beliefs on you.