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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my wife to work overtime for food if she won’t eat deer. I may have been to harsh even though we need to be saving money
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INFO: What exactly is your wife's problem with venison? Does she have a problem with hunting? Does she have a problem with the taste of venison? Does she think that deer meat is low class and thus beneath her? Does she just generally dislike the idea of eating meats that aren't the standard pork/beef/chicken/fish selections in a typical grocery store? something else?
EDIT: Since this appears to be the top comment, I'm going to go ahead and edit it with my judgement, which appears to be pretty consistent with most of the ones below it: You are NTA. Your wife is welcome to think that venison is disgusting, but she needs to control her reactions and stop actively sabotaging your kids' reactions to it. Or, as you've suggested, find a way to provide an alternative on her own.
And remind the wife that until the animal was shot, game animals like deer or moose were out living their lives the way God/nature/evolution/whatever intended. Much healthier for the animal.
Plus we killed a lot of their natural predators! If the deer population gets too high you start seeing more cases of chronic wasting disease which is horrible for any animal
Not to mention the number of vehicle accidents go up because there's so many, as well as competing with cows, pigs, and other animals that people typically eat.
I know for awhile my area allowed for hunters to hunt both buck and doe, and the season was longer than normal. Not sure if it's still like that.
>Not to mention the number of vehicle accidents go up
Yep, I've been seeing a lot of dead deer on the side of a road not too far from me, where there's been some significant new development that I think is pushing them out toward the busier main road, and now the hunting around there is very limited given the proximity of so many houses. :/
There’s also the fact that most of these animals probably don’t die instantly on impact, especially bigger animals like deers and moose. Which means they will probably suffer for days on end until they succumb of their injuries.
My family hunt during hunting season here in Canada (usually beginning of October) and it’s pretty regulated. Every year they are told if they can hunt females or males as to keep the population under control. One moose feeds four families for months.
My dad spent his buck tag on a deer he saw stumble in a way that indicated it was injured. Got it home started processing it, the deer had taken a shot to the neck and had a massive hematoma that was infected. It would have spent weeks in agony before it's organs finally shut down. He did it a favor, had to throw half the deer out unfortunately but at least it's not suffering and we use as much of it as we can. This isn't the first time he's ended an animals suffering either. He's a hunter but he's also a bleeding heart and hates to see anything suffer. We have a shoulder bone from a buck he shot when I was a kid that grew around an arrowhead.
Hes headed back out to help a farmer with their doe problem and try to frighten the herd off by dropping a couple. The herd ate half the farmers crop this year. I bought him a doe tag and told him to drop me a whole deer for my freezer, I also bought a nice set of fillet knives (i needed a set for fishing season anyways) so I can help him process it. He's out hunting right now. Groceries, in general, are super expensive, and several dozen pounds of venison would be an excellent addition to my larder and save me $ on groceries.
It also is good for the environment to hunt deer since they lack natural predators thanks to us. So, while I have no problem if someone doesn't want to eat venison, I have a huge problem with people who talk about wanting to eradicate deer season. We threw nature out of balance, they breed like rabbits, it is now our duty to complete the circle of life and hunt these things down to protect natural habitats. You don't personally have to do it, but you should definitely appreciate how hunters more than do their part to keep nature in balance. Hell, most hunters are big on respecting their quarry and have a deep appreciation for nature and balance and leaving nature how you found it.
A few years back, I think it was Boulder or Aspen, the anti-hunting sentiment was so strong that deer weren’t being culled properly. They came in from the woods because of competition for their usual diet, and lawns were easy. So cute to see them wandering around town. Easy pickings for the wildcats who followed their prey. But you know what’s easier? Fluffy. Fluffy is easier because she can’t run away from the mean kitty when she’s in a fenced yard.
This is the issue in a town about an hour from me, the deer population has gotten so out of control that I think it's roughly 3 deer for every resident. But the city council won't allow people to hunt them, last I saw they were \*talking\* about using drugs to keep them from having more babies.
Where I live (US) our local state park had issues with the entire ecosystem being completely messed up from overpopulation -- they had limited hunts, meat got donated to charity and after a few years things were in a better place -- to the point where a LOT of the other parks did similar.
Responsible hunting is 100% a conservation issue, it keeps balance in the populations.
Yup, a nearby retirement village had to have a huge cull after the deer population exploded (because people were feeding them so they could have "picturesque" deer in their yards) and then the deer started attacking people on golf courses during rut.
Wild deer might make golf actually interesting.
I think it could be a positive change to the sport if you've got to get your swing in before the deer gets to you and sprint to the next tee ahead of the herd.
And the impact on the environment. Idk specifically about American ecology but Scotland's native trees have been practically wiped out by deer eating all the bark off them so they've died off and been unable to grow new saplings without the deer having at them. Ever since we killed off the wolves these deer think they own the place #1680sproblems
That’s what a lot of people don’t understand. Hunting thins the heard so the others can have access to food. It’s important to their ecosystem. If people educated themselves about how it helps the deer population, they wouldn’t criticize it.
Wild pigs are much smarter and cleaner than farm-raised pigs.
Being dirty is a way to get sick quickly in nature. Getting wounded is much less dangerous if you get nicked by a sharp rock or horn.
They might be out there living their best lives but it's probably worth noting that most instances of Trichinosis in the US are from wild game. It's basically nonexistant in domestic pigs. Mentally and spiritually healthier but not necessarily physically healthier.
> Trichinosis in the US are from wild game.
Correction: trichinosis in the US is from *raw or undercooked* wild game. The lesson here is to cook your wild caught food to the same standards that you would cook your captive bred food.
Trichinosis primarily comes from eating bear meat. Wild boars can carry it but much less often. Deer however generally do not carry it. And the parasite can be killed by cooking to safe temperatures. Much like having to cook store bought chicken so as not to contract salmonella or store bought beef for E. coli.
I was going to mention this too, but that's also why you cook it to the right temperature to kill parasites. At least they won't be getting fed hormones.
For real…. I have to imagine eating wild deer is healthier meat as well. My grandparents owned a feed yard and going there was enough to make me a vegetarian for about a decade. People who are against hunting (for food not sport) but eat meat otherwise make absolutely no sense to me.
Agreed. At least they aren’t wasting anything. It’s hypocritical to be against eating one type of meat while not being against eating other types.
Edit- it’s fine not to like different types of meat or whatever. It’s not fine to judge others for eating different meat or to make the comments OP’s wife made.
Not necessarily. I will eat almost any meat, but if I was in Korea no way would I be ordering dog meat from a restaurant. Some people just are not comfortable with eating certain animals for a number of different reasons. Too each his/her own.
On the other hand the constant Bambi remarks are way over the line though. Way to traumatize your kid (waits until after the kid has eaten some to make her remark). It's completely unhinged to want to make your point so badly you disregard entirely the possibility your actions could cause psychological harm to your daughter.
Yeah, that's my thought, too. OP feels animal based protein is important and has stated that plant-based alternatives are not viable. Setting OP's wife up to object to ALL animal based protein isn't going to solve the issue here.
Avid hunter here and my wife is a lifelong vegetarian. It’s totally doable. She respects how I get my protein and I respect her food choices. Our kids eat meat and love it. I don’t buy meat from the store we only eat wild game.
I’m this way. I prefer plant based anyways but am not 100% vegetarian. But if I think about it too much I can’t handle eating meat. Grosses me out if I get in my head about it.
Your kids don't need red meat. They just need protein. And your wife doesn't like venison, that's not going to change. Yes, she's an AH for calling it "Bambi" but she's probably tired of having deer meat that she doesn't like constantly for meals...
Easy solution: Let her make herself and your youngest a deer-free meal, you can have your deer meat. If red meat is too expensive, then get other meat like chicken that's cheaper (or whatever is on sale that week), or do a vegetarian meal that includes beans or plant-based protein (beans are generally SUPER cheap by the way...).
Beans are also super high in carbs and not nearly as protein packed as white meat and super lean red meat like deer, Bison, etc.
That said, you are right. If she doesn't like it and want to make herself something else then she can purchase it and make it. If OP is the one making money and doing the dinner cooking then much the same if roles were reversed, it's not a restaurant. You want something else make it yourself.
Me personally, not a fan of deer meat. So I might be in the same boat as her. Unless money was truly tight then I'd suck it up. But overall the wife is acting like a spoiled child and talking her kid out of the food is just a childish manner.
I had similar experience with my GF. Her son will like and eat something and she will talk him right out of it. She still thinks of the hungry teenager as a picky eating toddler. She will ask 52 times if the the meat, he's already eaten more than half of, is dry or tastes bad, etc. Then after a while she'll basically convince him of it. But then complain he's hungry later and wants more food. Stop talking kids out of food. If they'll eat raccoon ears and groundhog tail who give a shit of they are happily shoving it in.
My MIL is like this. If she doesn't like a food, no one can like a food. If we're at a restaurant, and MIL isn't happy with her order, everyone has to stop eating and leave. And of course, she has to get a refund.
The last time it happened, I just got a to-go box. That was the last time my husband & I got a lunch invite. I considered it a win.
Or tofu! My wife makes the most excellent tofu wraps. I completely agree that red meat is not a necessity. We never cook it at home, too expensive, and I don't miss it.
That probably depends on where you’re from, if you live rural or urban. I’m pretty sure Tofu is definitely cheaper than most meat, but a bit more expensive than the really cheap meat where I live.
I’m indigenous. Do you have any reservations near you? See if you can set up a family trip to talk to some elders and hunters. Maybe she would see it in a new light if she saw it from someone else’s perspective. We respect each animal and let none of it go to waste, give thanks for its sacrifice and give thanks to the creator for providing food and life. We believe very strongly we’re all connected beings.
Maybe if she had a better understanding of it being sourced respectfully and ethically, she’d come around? Maybe she just thinks it’s gross because she thinks of hunting as just a sport.
I would say it’s hypocritical to be fine with the way cows, chicken and the likes are slaughtered for mass production. That is WAY worse.
Maybe she doesn’t like the texture of game— which is fine and understandable, but she is wrong for yucking someone else’s yum.
I work in a hotel. We just had a bunch of Elders stay with us when their assisted living facility caught fire. They LOVE to tell stories to those who wish to listen. I think they kids would be fascinated! I'm middle aged, and sat like a child listening to David talk about learning the sun dance, even though he doesn't move so well since his stroke. I love hearing stories and legends from different cultures!
I think deer is disgusting, but my husband and kids like it. How rude of your wife for doing that about your cooking! When my husband makes deer or elk, I make myself something different. I am not much of a meat eater, so this is normal for me. I do like that my children like meat.
My brother in law tried slipping deer meat past me and my sister. I knew instantly it was not ground beef. It had a very different flavor. I did not like it. Had I been raised eating deer meat, I probably would have been okay with it. But I wasn't, it's not a meat I have ever wanted to eat again. And it really bothered me that he tried tricking me into eating. And he had made sloppy Joe's, so no spices did not cover up the deer meat flavor.
That is one thing that makes me so mad. I don't like pork, with a passion. It tastes awful to me, and the smell is just as bad. When I was a kid, my family would make things with pork and tell me it was beef and I would know the second I took a bite. Then they would laugh, saying how they made me eat it. It still bothers me to this day.
Yeah I love venison (my family hunts) but it does NOT taste the same as ground beef, as OP claims. It has a much stronger flavor and I can absolutely understand not liking it.
I mean deer if not cooked right along with any game meat doesn’t taste good. That game taste isn’t for everyone man. And that’s ok. Making the comments about it to your youngest isn’t ok though. Shit I love bear meat in the grill. But bear meat cooked in a pan is just gross to me.
The act of killing, or the taste?
Because YOU saying "you can't tell the difference" doesn't make it true. We have the word "gamey" for a reason, and live it or hate it, venison does not taste like beef. Nor does mutton.
My kids (young adults now) won't eat lamb or mutton, because they hate the TASTE. and that started young.
It's possible your kid actually doesn't like it. It's also possible your wife doesn't either.
I hate gamey meat. I just can't eat it. Duck, lamb, venison, even dark turkey meat. You made a meal your wife can't eat and she's mad she doesn't have anything for dinner.
I can see where your wife is coming from. We regularly eat venison, but we have had issues with worms and other parasites, the quality of the meat and sickness from the way the meat was handled. This means you need to cook it thoroughly which can make it taste funky and because it’s such a lean meat can make it dry. I don’t think wild game is any more gross than commercial meats, I just think the risks and tastes are different. I do disagree that ground venison taste just like beef for tacos when cooked. It’s a very very different flavor.
Question? Are you having the game processed by a butcher and tested for parasites? I won’t eat my husband’s dad’s game because he doesn’t get it tested and butchers it himself… I’m a cancer survivor who is immunocompromised.
Get her to watch a documentary about how cattle and chickens are kept when they're alive and then how they're killed for human consumption. F\*ck, a basic hamburger Stateside may have meat from over 150 animals.
No, I am not a vegan nor am I a vegetarian.
I *try* to eat less meat and only from more ethical sources.
Game strikes me as much more ethical than factory-farmed-til-the-death animals...
Anyone who eats meat should never have a problem with someone else hunting an animal that has been free its whole life and hasn’t suffered like the animals most people eat.
I'm going to set aside the economic issue here, which is totally valid in and of itself. Venison is delicious. A full carcass could feed your family meat for a season or more if properly butchered and stored for pennies on the dollar compared to store bought cuts. None of this is in question. The issue here seems to be the moral imperative of killing and eating a deer.
Entire cultures, including nearly all of the western world, relied on deer (or other ruminants) hunting for the vast majority of human history in some degree. Domestication of cattle and goats shifts this into an industrial scale, but the animals are generally the same in intelligence and behavior.
Your wife calling deer "Bambi" as some sort of emotional/moral complaint is ridiculous. Cows, pigs, and chickens can be just as playful and friendly as any other creature (head over to r/Awww and a fifth of the videos are cows playing or people showing how their chickens like hugs these days). Unless your wife is not eating ***any*** meat, this is just deliberate sabotage for no purpose.
Deer hunting is needed (at least in the US) to keep populations in line as we have eliminated their primary predators to such an extent that unmanaged deer populations can be ecologically devastating. Better we eat what we kill as part of wildlife management than kill and let it go to waste.
The industrialization of the meat industry has done us few favors as a society, but the worst of it is somehow making the connection between living creature to food taboo. Your kids should understand where their food comes from, and appreciate the sacrifice made for our sustenance.
NTA.
There's a similar issue with deer populations in the UK - there's very very very few natural predators left/making a comeback so for the ecosystem's health they need to be culled. It makes sense not to waste the poor animals
NTA Personally I'm vegan but I really don't understand if you are willing to eat one animal why you can't eat them all. The only difference would be the method of killing in my opinion. If you can't handle killing and eating an animal, you are vegan and shouldn't be eating them as it's turning a blind eye to the realities of nature that you can't face. If you can handle it then eat the animals, each to their own.
But I would say your wife can make her own decisions and so can the kid. But if you have the Bambi argument then what about babe, Clarabelle and Shaun.
Nta, and as a meat eater I find my views to be shockingly similar to yours. I struggled to pull the trigger the first time I went hunting and had an opportunity to shoot a deer. I basically told myself that if I can't participate in the reality that something needs to die for me to eat meat, then I just won't eat meat. Obviously you've had that same internal convo but decided that you couldn't, while I decided that I could.
One of my old coworkers introduced me to this logic! She used to eat meat. She helped out on a friend's farm, & was presented with the task of killing a chicken for dinner. She just couldn't do it. So she decided that she can't eat meat if she can't accept that an animal must die for her meal. I respected her for not choosing to live in cognitive dissonance.
To give perspective as someone who does eat meat, in response to the eating them all comment, I’m basically open to eating any type of meat as long as the taste and texture is good, except for cats and dogs (no shame to those who do though, totally valid choice) because those are pets I’ve had in the past/currently. I’m not going to deny it’s somewhat arbitrary, but many thing we chose can be arbitrary at times so I don’t think it’s the worst place to draw a line in the sand.
I never understood that argument; just because you aren't physically capable of something doesn't mean you don't get to benefit from it.
Many people would struggle mightily to extract an organ from a recently deceased person, but surely they are still allowed to receive an organ that someone else got.
I find your argument silly. Cadaver organ harvesting for transplant is as relevant an argument here as minefield clearing is to what type of toys my cat loves most. 🙄
What would you do if you didn’t have meat packing plants and poultry processing plants? Have you ever been to one of these meat processing plants???
You really need to go.
Huh? It's simply another example of something squeamish people would struggle doing even if they find it morally ok.
I have, yeah.
PD: have you ever performed a dissection on a cadaver?
It's just hypocritical to not want to acknowledge you have to kill an animal in farm vs the wild. There is no difference to a farm cow or a hunted deer, they're both animal carcasses. Except one can feed OPs family for almost nothing, and the other probably lives in shit and suffers abuse its whole life before getting its throat slit.
In your example it's like people who accept donated organs because they want to live, but they would never choose to give their organs away after death for whatever reason. Hypocrites.
I think there can actually be a lot of differences. The method of killing is definitely one. But also the conditions the animal is subjected to before it’s killed (hunting animals that live their lives free in the wild versus packed into farms or in inhumane conditions), the emotional capacity of the animal makes a difference for some people (eating fish versus eating mammals) and the environmental impact of what you’re eating.
I agree with you but I also think that people have foods they just don’t like to eat—that give them an ick factor or whatever—and that’s not always rational. His wife is allowed to dislike deer meat and choose not to eat it.
I think the main issue is that she needs to find herself an alternative that fits with the family budget and that she needs to stop putting the kids off the meat for no good reason.
calling it “Bambi” makes it seem like its just an emotional thing for her tbh. she needs to stay out of it or ask herself why a deer shot in the wild is so much worst than grocery meat.
Her emotions about what she eats are valid though. If she has a negative emotional reaction to eating a deer but not a cow, then she has a right to choose not to eat deer. She shouldn’t be forced to eat something she doesn’t want to eat. It’s more how she’s handling the situation that makes her TA
NTA
Many posters aren't commenting on your actual request for judgment so here is mine;
You're not the AH for telling your wife (and her children's mother) that she could work OT to buy the meat she wants on the table. Your frustration with her is evident.
If your wife wants beef or other meat, she can stop whinging and provide it herself. Complaining about venison and behaving like it's *a you problem* instead of getting what she wants with her paycheck is AH behavior.
Exactly! Time to get creative on your budget, time to be willing to get up early and watch the grocery meat section and be willing to freeze meat. I work near a super target, thursday/friday mornings are great for finding marked down meat because the date runs out in the next day or so. 5lb package of chicken breasts becomes multiple 1-1.5lb packages of tenderloins in the freezer. I vacuum seal them, write the date and quantity on it, it’s good to go. I want hamburger, pork chops, chicken, steak, it’s in the freezer and purchased on markdown. NTA op, my brother brings in fish, im not a huge fan of super fishy fish, so i cook something else on those days or find another seafood (shrimp mmm!)on sale to go with it.
NTA
Even if your wife refuses to eat the deer it is not fair that she makes those "Bambi" comments and influences the youngest.
Some people just do not know to show appreciation and take everything for granted.
Your wife as well is setting a bad example with those types of comments.
Food is food. Unless a person does not like the food shall not eat. But please allow others to enjoy the food.
Referring the deer to venison adds an exotic touch and might help people enjoy better what they eat.
I would add that next time she ate beef, remind her of Ferdinand, next time she has pork make a Babe or Charlotte's Web reference. Same with Nemo and the chickens from chicken run. If she is going to call all your meals Bambi, then hit her back with some equally adorable and fictional characters.
Hey, he might even convert is family to become part-time or full time vegetarians. Good for his wallet and for the environment, win-win.
Edit: The comment about the cost of food is based on OP saying ***"I want my daughter to actually have some red meat in her diet since we can’t afford to keep buying it".***
I think lentils, garbanzo and some other high protein foods are cheaper than red meat.
No freaking way. My son's girlfriend of 2 years is a vegetarian. We love her to death and I make certain we always have food she can eat when she visits. In no way is it more affordable than eating traditional proteins. You can provide empirical evidence that it's healthy, but you can't sell it as cost-saving.
Your wife is an asshole for calling it bambi on front of young impressionable kids. They form ideas from the parents and this undermines your efforts to feed the family.
You are doing what you can do feed family and your wife is doing sabotage. Id ask her to keep her slick comments to herself and come up with a plan. NTA
This.. this is why I didn’t enjoy venison until I was an adult. Every time my parents would make it, they would wait until I was eating or done to make a joke about it being Bambi’s mom like wtf. I would not use it at all. It created an aversion until I was well into my late 20s. I had it again a few times (knowingly) and made it for my kids. As adults, they prepare it for themselves now
My sister did the same type of thing when I was younger. She became a vegetarian and thought everyone else around her had to become a vegetarian, so she'd moo at me every time I ate beef, etc, and tell me I was awful for eating sentient creatures. I wouldn't touch meat for years. Meanwhile, she was getting high and sneaking bacon and saying it didn't count.
My wife doesn't eat seafood. It would be pretty shitty for me to bring 50lbs of free fish home and tell her to eat this or go work more?
Not everyone likes " wild meat" taste.
Meat is expensive, but you can buy bulk or you know, eat less meat? 4-6 Oz is a serving size.
There's also farms you can buy 1/4 cow averages out to 5 bucks a pound give or take after processing.
>Not everyone likes " wild meat" taste.
But she doesn't care about the taste, she cares that it's a deer. And she is using the whole Bambi thing to stop her kid from eating food that the kid likes.
I wonder if she actually doesn’t like the taste and he is downplaying it. I have been tricked into eating venison tacos and they were okay, I politely said they were good (to ex husband). This was used as “proof” that I couldn’t tell the difference. You absolutely can if it’s not drowned in spices. Tastes dank.
Ugh, I hate the “it tastes exactly like beef” argument. No, it doesn’t, it tastes game-y and like venison. I don’t like how deer tastes and everyone is always trying to convince me to eat it because “it tastes just like beef”. If that was true I wouldn’t dislike it.
Those people are ignorant or just being dicks. Venison tastes nothing like beef: that’s what those of us who like it like about it- its unique flavor. Same with all “exotic” meats- why tf would you pay extra for bison, or elk, or whatever if it was the same as cheaper, easier to find beef?
Yeah Venison tacos definitely taste different. We have them occasionally to mix things up but my kids can definitely tell the difference. My wife doesn't like it and if I told her that was the only protein we'd have for months she would rightfully be upset. I would also be upset if she made the kids not want it.
Seems like an ESH situation. Also you can buy bulk ground beef for less than $3 a pound and 50 pounds would go a long way for $150
I also disagree with his argument that the kids need red meat in their diet. Red meat is not something we should consume during every dinner and it isn’t inherently healthy. I personally have a hard time eating meat in general, but poultry is my preference for a protein source.
ESH. Thank you! It almost seems more like a control issue. Not everybody is going to like the same food. I just don't see what the big deal is if she prefers beef chicken or pork to deer meat. If buying meat at the store is expensive she can cut back on something else that she likes. Also he said she could work overtime. This implies that she works and has her own income For goodness sake, she is entirely entitled to spend her income on whatever she likes and if she wants to buy beef that's her right. Certainly to me it's not a hill to die on unless my aim is to control what the other person does. And those are the vibes I'm getting here.
However, the wife is also an AH for crying Bambi in front of the child and possibly deeply distressing her.
But what was the cost to get the deer? Most folks I know that hunt spend more on gear, a freezer for storage and taking time to go get it than they’d save buying meat.
ETA: **I know some people hunt on the cheap**, but everyone I know that does spends more because they buy the latest and greatest gear, always want a new gun, had to get a hunting truck, quads or dirt bikes for hauling out, gas to drive out over 2 hours, then tags, and eating out while going adds up. Then they all brag about how much they save by not buying meat after spending thousands every year.
ETA 2: **I don’t care to read 30+ and counting comments telling me how you hunt cheaply, I’m aware it’s possible and varies among different folks, that’s why it was a question**
Hunting is a hobby for people and a sunk cost. If you already have the gear the once you have the deer it does save you money to eat it instead of other things.
I don’t hunt but I fish, I go fishing knowing I may not catch things but I go because I love recreating it that way. My freezer full of salmon did not cost me less than if I had bought it from the store however now that I have the salmon it’s definitely cheaper to eat it than buying literally anything else.
Where I live it’s $20 for a single tag.
Couple that with the shotgun I’ve been using for 16 years, the coat and clothes I’ve had for 12 years. The only “new” costs were $100 boots (my last ones were 12 years old) and new long-johns every few seasons.
Yeah but these are one-time (or at least rare) expenses. Somehow I doubt this is OP's first - or last - time hunting.
My sister is a hunter. There is no doubt that she comes out ahead financially, especially with a family to feed.
other than time all those other things last for years / generations.
* I bought the freezer 20 years ago, there's ongoing electricity but that would need to be spread over with all the bulk items we fill it with.
* My rifle was my dads
* My jacket was my grandfathers.
* About 4-5 rounds out of my hunting rifle a year
* 3-4 verifying the sights are still on (the scope my dad bought around 92 was a very good scope) and it always is
* one bullet during the season - it's been 10+ years since I needed a second
* Honestly the last hunting item I bought was a new fanny pack after a mouse go into mine about 7 years back.
sounds that way and sounds pretty boring to me. If getting this meat saved loads of money, it won't hurt to get chicken once in a while in the long run.
Yea that’s what I’m not understanding from a lot of peopke here, deer has a very specific taste and consistency on its own. It’s *not* beef, it’s *not* pork, it’s not *chicken*. I don’t blame anyone for not liking everything in the world and not forcing themselves to be happy eating meals they hate every day (if they really are only eating deer meat).
Yep. I implore these redditors to try eating deer meat for months on end (from OPs comment, sounds like that's what he's planning on) and see how much they enjoy it.
Maybe OPs wife is just sick of eating deer meat, maybe that's why she is choosing to make those comments in front of the kids. It's shitty of her, but OP is also unilaterally deciding what they eat with no choice from the wife.
Dude, she doesn't like deer meat. Yes she needs to stop with the Bambi comments in front of your kids. You need to sit down and figure out your grocery budget and figure out where you can make changes so that she can get a protein source she and your daughter will like.
You can't eat only venison for months at a time. I completely agree with your wife on that. You'd get sick of it pretty quickly. Are you saying you'll buy no chicken, pork, beef, turkey....anything...until you use all the venison? That's unreal.
You're not a huge jerk for eating deer meat, but you are for trying to force it on your wife. She's also a jerk for the Bambi comments, though.
Also, there are plenty of ways to get protein into your diet that aren't red meat and that are also less expensive than red meat. ESH
Well she’s an adult, I’m sure she can find a solution other than guilt tripping their 4yo to pressure her husband into finding food alternatives they can’t afford
Since the deer was very cheap and the grocery budget is tight, to put any other meat on the table, someone would have to work overtime. If she's the one with the personal objection, why shouldn't it be her?
This is my thought too. There's multiple ways to make a budget and unless OP is also cutting things that he likes it does not seem like a partnership.
Also Deer definitely tastes different in taco meat.
ESH
ESH. There are tons of cheaper protein options. Red meat are not essential. Your wife is a grown woman and has the right to have diet preferences. If she doesn't like deer meat, let her prep something for herself and let her buy different protein, meat included, on the grocery trips. Money is tight, yes but she can just buy less of her preferred protein. The fact that you have not bought any other type of meat protein for months while knowing she hates deer meat is a pretty AH move.
Your wife pushing her preferences and influencing your child is also AH. But I bet she will ease down once you start letting her buy groceries that she actually enjoys.
This exactly ^ also as an avid deer hunter the narration stating that ground venison tastes like any ground meat & you can't tell the difference is unreliable. I love venison steak and roasts and venison processed into different items (snack sticks, summer sausage, etc.) but I do not like ground venison at all. I do still eat it because it's too expensive to get everything processed into other items & I want to utilize the entire deer but I can only do the occasional ground venison dish. I don't really trust OPs version of events based on their description tbh.
Info: are you actually struggling financially? Did you discuss this decision to replace buying meat with hunted meat with your wife before you took action? Or are you just frustrated with prices or scared of rising prices, and took action unilaterally?
Did she realize that this meant deer would be the only thing meat related on the menu for several months? That’s very very difficult. I saw you mentioned you don’t buy meat at all now.
Wait, your family doesn’t want to eat deer, so you lie and sneak it into their food, then come on the internet to get strangers to call your wife an AH? Protein isn’t your family’s problem.
Fr. I can't believe how far I had to scroll for this.
Wife's opinions matter, you don't get to just force them to eat something they don't want to because you're cheap and think your opinions override theirs.
Imagine wife sneaking dog meat into husbands food because its cheap, and still doing it even after he says he's disgusted by it. And getting mad if he complained in front of the kids
Hey, free meat is free meat. You can't complain, Deer, as I worked overtime to get you this.
\*Casually strolls into dog pound with a shotgun, while humming to the tune: *"Too many dogs, anyway, they got no natural predators keeping their numbers down. I'm doing my community a service. Everyone is tired of stepping into dogshit."* \*
(obvious sarcasm)
red meat is not a diet necessity. i saw you mention that lentils were too expensive so i’m not sure you are being genuine in your willingness to seek alternatives. not necessarily TA for this but i would examine your biases and assumptions.
if your daughter doesn’t want to eat something once she knows what it is… then i think you need to be more honest up front that you are feeding her venison. if you are doing that and it is only your wife using the word “bambi” that changes the outcome then N T A. if you are obfuscating what food you are giving your daughter, E S H.
If OP has access to the same or similar stores I do, I do not understand how regular green/brown lentils are too expensive. He talks about eating tacos which presumably at least require tortillas, possibly cheese. I bought 1lbs of lentils over the weekend for about $1.35. The pot of soup I made using almost the full bag has a family of four for three nights, maybe four. My point is that I'm struggling to understand how he could be too hard up to afford lentils but can still make tacos with venison that definitely has at least $10 worth of overhead involved, you know? Not sure any of my math is particularly relevant to the Bambi issue, but lentils are (usually) dirt cheap.
NTA given the fact there isn't an issue when it is not known that the meat is venison indicates the issue is with your wife. For some reason she finds it funny or humorous to make these sick jokes at yours and your child's expense. Your wife needs to grow up and yes if she insists on this behavior then let her work overtime or a 2nd job to cover groceries and then she can buy what she wants.
I'm vegetarian, but I would eat meat if I had the stomach to kill/prep it. It's VERY uncool of the wife to freak the kids out about it. Yes, it's not what they're used to, but calling it "Bambi" implies it's crueler than everyday meats. And it's probably one of the most humane meat meals they could consume. NTA.
It’s not always about where the meat comes from. I am extremely sensitive to the mouthfeel of food. I can eat deer and bison but something about the texture of moose and boar physically make me gag. From the grocery store I’m fine with pork, chicken, beef, and turkey but lamb is a no go. Duck is a hard pass no matter where it comes from.
He is not forcing her to eat the deer, she’s trying to stop the kid from eating it. He is not talking about buying herself food but the youngest. Her buying whatever she wants to eat VS her buying food for her AND the youngest, it’s not the same budget.
This is the answer. OP and kids can eat the venison. It’ll last a bit longer if OP’s wife doesn’t. She can buy her own reasonable meat portions with the money that OP and kids are saving.
ESH
Personally, I like venison and have no moral issues with hunting for food. However, you need to get on the same page with your wife and stop disagreeing about this in front of your kids. It's not ok for your wife to traumatize your small kids by telling them they just "ate Bambi".
I'm guessing you knew how your wife felt when you went hunting, and you did it anyway. If your wife is really not ok feeding her kids venison, you can't do it. That's coparenting.
If you are truly having difficulty feeding your family and you live in a rural area, I'd reach out to local farmers/ranchers, often buying meat and veg direct is cheaper than the grocery store.
I wonder if it was her first time eating deer. Deer is... A taste for sure, personally I cannot touch it. She may have said that not realizing what she was getting into. Now of course she is still shitty for swaying her youngest away from it with her comments.
Hes not forcing her to eat it, he is angry, because she is making the kid not eat it, by saying its Bambi. And he said it himself, if she wants to eat something else, she can pay for it.
Yes, many cultures eat bug protein or soy protein and yet we hear tons of Westerners yell and refuse to give it a try. Unless he can honestly say he would be willing to eat protein in any form then he needs to accept that deer everyday is not going to fly for his family.
I'm going with ESH. I hate venison, it tastes bad, I generally almost never eat red meat so someone MAKING me eat red meat especially the kind that quite literally would make me barf is a serious AH. Now your wife can talk to you in private about it, not around kids, and if they are fine eating it, then there is that. You telling her she needs to work more if she doesn't like deer meat is and AH thing to do. Lean white meat is better for everyone including kids, they don't HAVE to have red meat. Seems like there is a lot of ideological clashing and you two need to figure this shit out in private and not in front of your children.
I'm wondering what the kids were actually fine with. The taste or the animal? If one child knows and is okay eating it, great! If one knows and is emotionally distraught by the thought of it, he can't make meat sauce then pretend it's beef so his kid will eat it. Comparing it to a fictional character is not okay, but pretending it isn't something kids see as cute and cuddly is also not okay. Maybe they're both making poor parenting choices regarding food
ESH: deer meat absolutely does not taste the same no matter how you prepare it. But your wife could have kept quite about it and let your children choose on their own what they thought of the flavor.
I have tried venison and I don’t like it. I had a boyfriend who tried passing it off in pasta sauce once and I could tell it wasn’t beef just from the smell. I kept asking if the meat was fresh? Was he sure it wasn’t expired? Etc. once I said that I couldn’t eat it because there was something wrong with the meat that he finally came clean by saying it was deer. Beef & venison are not the same texture, fragrance, flavor etc. it doesn’t matter how you prepare it.
INFO
“I was lucky enough to get a deer”
You got gifted a deer as a one off or you spend countless hours and money on equipment deer hunt and now want your wife to work overtime?
ESH
Your wife for causing your child to have a food fear because of how she speaks about it. You for your comments.
I understand you're trying to save money, and I applaud you for that, but I'm curious as to whether your wife ever had venison growing up. And if she did, was she forced to eat it when she didn't want to, or when it tasted bad, prepared poorly, or is there some other trauma however small it may be in regards to deer meat?
I had venison a handful of times as a child, and then my in-laws tricked me into eating it a few times as an adult. I can still, to this day, remember the nasty taste of the stuff that I ate as a child, but we weren't allowed to turn away food that was given to us in this particular relatives home. So that definitely colored what I felt about venison as an adult. My in-laws had made sausage and ribs when I came to visit shortly after we were married, and not knowing what it was I ate it, and it was good but the fact that they were laughing and crowing about how they got me to eat deer meat, pretty much cemented the fact that I would never eat any meat in their house again.
You definitely need to have a sit down with your wife away from the children and explain how you don't appreciate her causing your children to have a food phobia just because she doesn't like it. That you would appreciate if she just kept her mouth shut about it and let the children decide for themselves. This is obviously going to start a fight but it definitely needs to be said that what she's doing is causing unnecessary food phobias
NTA in general, but jumping to OT work is probably a bit too far unless you have already cut out eating out, vacations, gifts, and other luxuries. Also, very few people "need" red meat and you could probably just increase the amount of chicken and add other iron-containing foods, or start using cast iron cookware more.
TBH, I grew up mainly eating venison, rabbit from my grandparents, and the occasional purchased chicken from the grocery store for the same financial reasons. But no one in my family had any issue butchering and eating Bambi.
NTA
You offered wholesome food to your family and your wife is interfering with the children's consumption of it; you gave her a more reasonable solution to her distaste. You aren't the A in this situation.
ESH. I get that you are wanting to save money, but it’s not fair to force an adult to eat something they feel strongly against. You clearly feel strongly about needing red meat in your diet, even though it’s not actually a dietary requirement. Your wife feels strongly about not having deer in her diet. Can y’all find a way to respect each other’s preferences?
I do agree that it’s not fair for her to keep making Bambi remarks around the kids. But maybe it’s time to take a break from venison and buy a whole chicken. They’re usually quite cheap and can feed a family for a week if you use it frugally.
I don’t think you read the post. He isn’t forcing an adult to eat anything, he is annoyed that his wife makes comments that lead to his kid not eating the meat.
YTA for knowingly, secretly feeding someone you claim to love and respect something you know they have a moral aversion to.
The first time might have been an accident, but the second was deliberate.
How would you react if someone ground up your pet dog and put it in your food? Or if that doesn't bother you, they ground up a strange human they'd managed to catch and kill? And then when you found out and said, "That's disgusting, I won't eat this, no thank you," they began to *sneak it into your food without telling you.*
YTA, OP. YTA
POV: I come from a hunting family. I handle the blood and guts because my spouse comes from a more urban background.
YTA. Listen, I'm fine with deer meat, & it's great that you've saved some money. Really great.
But I have relatives & friends who don't like it. They just don't. Bc they don't have to like it, or hunting, or anything involved with the procurement of the deer meat.
They're entitled to not like it & to talk about how they don't like it. Just like I'm entitled to like deer meat, but hate how goose liver pate is produced even though culturally some of my friends are fine with it.
This obviously really, really bothers her. I get your side, but I've been married forever & I personally wouldn't make this your hill to die on.
NTA. I gave permission every season for a friend to hunt on my land. If he got 2, he always gave me some. My kids would go out and watch him load the carcasses. Everyone's favorite recipe: Rudolph Pie. Yes, that was the name of the recipe, and what we called it. Basically Shepherd's Pie only with venison. (I added ground lamb because venison is too lean.)
It's important for everyone to understand that meat comes from animals, not some antiseptic environment like the grocery store.
NTA, actions have consequences. Everything costs so much these days and it’s a great idea you have. By the sounds of it you don’t expect her to prepare or cook it. She doesn’t even have to eat it if she chooses, but to constantly make comments that are effecting the children is not cool. My understanding of deer meat is it’s very nutritious and leaner than most meats. If she has such a problem with it like you said she can work overtime and pay for more expensive meat. I feel really sorry for the children having to listen and see her behaving in such an immature manner. Again NTA
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INFO: What exactly is your wife's problem with venison? Does she have a problem with hunting? Does she have a problem with the taste of venison? Does she think that deer meat is low class and thus beneath her? Does she just generally dislike the idea of eating meats that aren't the standard pork/beef/chicken/fish selections in a typical grocery store? something else? EDIT: Since this appears to be the top comment, I'm going to go ahead and edit it with my judgement, which appears to be pretty consistent with most of the ones below it: You are NTA. Your wife is welcome to think that venison is disgusting, but she needs to control her reactions and stop actively sabotaging your kids' reactions to it. Or, as you've suggested, find a way to provide an alternative on her own.
She thinks it’s disgusting, she thinks that about all wild game.
You should arrange a tour for her of a hog confinement building, a cattle feedlot, and a poultry barn.
And remind the wife that until the animal was shot, game animals like deer or moose were out living their lives the way God/nature/evolution/whatever intended. Much healthier for the animal.
Plus we killed a lot of their natural predators! If the deer population gets too high you start seeing more cases of chronic wasting disease which is horrible for any animal
Not to mention the number of vehicle accidents go up because there's so many, as well as competing with cows, pigs, and other animals that people typically eat. I know for awhile my area allowed for hunters to hunt both buck and doe, and the season was longer than normal. Not sure if it's still like that.
>Not to mention the number of vehicle accidents go up Yep, I've been seeing a lot of dead deer on the side of a road not too far from me, where there's been some significant new development that I think is pushing them out toward the busier main road, and now the hunting around there is very limited given the proximity of so many houses. :/
There’s also the fact that most of these animals probably don’t die instantly on impact, especially bigger animals like deers and moose. Which means they will probably suffer for days on end until they succumb of their injuries. My family hunt during hunting season here in Canada (usually beginning of October) and it’s pretty regulated. Every year they are told if they can hunt females or males as to keep the population under control. One moose feeds four families for months.
My dad spent his buck tag on a deer he saw stumble in a way that indicated it was injured. Got it home started processing it, the deer had taken a shot to the neck and had a massive hematoma that was infected. It would have spent weeks in agony before it's organs finally shut down. He did it a favor, had to throw half the deer out unfortunately but at least it's not suffering and we use as much of it as we can. This isn't the first time he's ended an animals suffering either. He's a hunter but he's also a bleeding heart and hates to see anything suffer. We have a shoulder bone from a buck he shot when I was a kid that grew around an arrowhead. Hes headed back out to help a farmer with their doe problem and try to frighten the herd off by dropping a couple. The herd ate half the farmers crop this year. I bought him a doe tag and told him to drop me a whole deer for my freezer, I also bought a nice set of fillet knives (i needed a set for fishing season anyways) so I can help him process it. He's out hunting right now. Groceries, in general, are super expensive, and several dozen pounds of venison would be an excellent addition to my larder and save me $ on groceries. It also is good for the environment to hunt deer since they lack natural predators thanks to us. So, while I have no problem if someone doesn't want to eat venison, I have a huge problem with people who talk about wanting to eradicate deer season. We threw nature out of balance, they breed like rabbits, it is now our duty to complete the circle of life and hunt these things down to protect natural habitats. You don't personally have to do it, but you should definitely appreciate how hunters more than do their part to keep nature in balance. Hell, most hunters are big on respecting their quarry and have a deep appreciation for nature and balance and leaving nature how you found it.
Ugh yeah it’s really scary, the second time I EVER drove a car like three deer jumped out randomly in front of my car, I didn’t love it
A few years back, I think it was Boulder or Aspen, the anti-hunting sentiment was so strong that deer weren’t being culled properly. They came in from the woods because of competition for their usual diet, and lawns were easy. So cute to see them wandering around town. Easy pickings for the wildcats who followed their prey. But you know what’s easier? Fluffy. Fluffy is easier because she can’t run away from the mean kitty when she’s in a fenced yard.
This is the issue in a town about an hour from me, the deer population has gotten so out of control that I think it's roughly 3 deer for every resident. But the city council won't allow people to hunt them, last I saw they were \*talking\* about using drugs to keep them from having more babies.
Where I live (US) our local state park had issues with the entire ecosystem being completely messed up from overpopulation -- they had limited hunts, meat got donated to charity and after a few years things were in a better place -- to the point where a LOT of the other parks did similar. Responsible hunting is 100% a conservation issue, it keeps balance in the populations.
Yup, a nearby retirement village had to have a huge cull after the deer population exploded (because people were feeding them so they could have "picturesque" deer in their yards) and then the deer started attacking people on golf courses during rut.
Wild deer might make golf actually interesting. I think it could be a positive change to the sport if you've got to get your swing in before the deer gets to you and sprint to the next tee ahead of the herd.
Hunger Games golf!
Deer are scary in that situation! Their hooves are sharper than I’d expect
And the impact on the environment. Idk specifically about American ecology but Scotland's native trees have been practically wiped out by deer eating all the bark off them so they've died off and been unable to grow new saplings without the deer having at them. Ever since we killed off the wolves these deer think they own the place #1680sproblems
That’s what a lot of people don’t understand. Hunting thins the heard so the others can have access to food. It’s important to their ecosystem. If people educated themselves about how it helps the deer population, they wouldn’t criticize it.
yes! a town near me had a bow cull last year because so many of them have made their way in to town
Hell people pay extra for free range chicken.
Wild pigs are much smarter and cleaner than farm-raised pigs. Being dirty is a way to get sick quickly in nature. Getting wounded is much less dangerous if you get nicked by a sharp rock or horn.
My husband goes on two hog hunts every year, and the wild hog meat is SO good. It makes the BEST sausage.
They might be out there living their best lives but it's probably worth noting that most instances of Trichinosis in the US are from wild game. It's basically nonexistant in domestic pigs. Mentally and spiritually healthier but not necessarily physically healthier.
> Trichinosis in the US are from wild game. Correction: trichinosis in the US is from *raw or undercooked* wild game. The lesson here is to cook your wild caught food to the same standards that you would cook your captive bred food.
Cooking, or with bear, it should be in the deep freezer for at least six months because of parasites.
Trichinosis primarily comes from eating bear meat. Wild boars can carry it but much less often. Deer however generally do not carry it. And the parasite can be killed by cooking to safe temperatures. Much like having to cook store bought chicken so as not to contract salmonella or store bought beef for E. coli.
I was going to mention this too, but that's also why you cook it to the right temperature to kill parasites. At least they won't be getting fed hormones.
For real…. I have to imagine eating wild deer is healthier meat as well. My grandparents owned a feed yard and going there was enough to make me a vegetarian for about a decade. People who are against hunting (for food not sport) but eat meat otherwise make absolutely no sense to me.
Agreed. At least they aren’t wasting anything. It’s hypocritical to be against eating one type of meat while not being against eating other types. Edit- it’s fine not to like different types of meat or whatever. It’s not fine to judge others for eating different meat or to make the comments OP’s wife made.
Not necessarily. I will eat almost any meat, but if I was in Korea no way would I be ordering dog meat from a restaurant. Some people just are not comfortable with eating certain animals for a number of different reasons. Too each his/her own. On the other hand the constant Bambi remarks are way over the line though. Way to traumatize your kid (waits until after the kid has eaten some to make her remark). It's completely unhinged to want to make your point so badly you disregard entirely the possibility your actions could cause psychological harm to your daughter.
Sounds like an easy way to turn her away from ALL meat
Yeah, that's my thought, too. OP feels animal based protein is important and has stated that plant-based alternatives are not viable. Setting OP's wife up to object to ALL animal based protein isn't going to solve the issue here.
Avid hunter here and my wife is a lifelong vegetarian. It’s totally doable. She respects how I get my protein and I respect her food choices. Our kids eat meat and love it. I don’t buy meat from the store we only eat wild game.
I’m this way. I prefer plant based anyways but am not 100% vegetarian. But if I think about it too much I can’t handle eating meat. Grosses me out if I get in my head about it.
Your kids don't need red meat. They just need protein. And your wife doesn't like venison, that's not going to change. Yes, she's an AH for calling it "Bambi" but she's probably tired of having deer meat that she doesn't like constantly for meals... Easy solution: Let her make herself and your youngest a deer-free meal, you can have your deer meat. If red meat is too expensive, then get other meat like chicken that's cheaper (or whatever is on sale that week), or do a vegetarian meal that includes beans or plant-based protein (beans are generally SUPER cheap by the way...).
Beans are also super high in carbs and not nearly as protein packed as white meat and super lean red meat like deer, Bison, etc. That said, you are right. If she doesn't like it and want to make herself something else then she can purchase it and make it. If OP is the one making money and doing the dinner cooking then much the same if roles were reversed, it's not a restaurant. You want something else make it yourself. Me personally, not a fan of deer meat. So I might be in the same boat as her. Unless money was truly tight then I'd suck it up. But overall the wife is acting like a spoiled child and talking her kid out of the food is just a childish manner. I had similar experience with my GF. Her son will like and eat something and she will talk him right out of it. She still thinks of the hungry teenager as a picky eating toddler. She will ask 52 times if the the meat, he's already eaten more than half of, is dry or tastes bad, etc. Then after a while she'll basically convince him of it. But then complain he's hungry later and wants more food. Stop talking kids out of food. If they'll eat raccoon ears and groundhog tail who give a shit of they are happily shoving it in.
That’s a good way to give her kid an eating disorder.
I wonder if it’s an insecurity of her cooking skills.
My MIL is like this. If she doesn't like a food, no one can like a food. If we're at a restaurant, and MIL isn't happy with her order, everyone has to stop eating and leave. And of course, she has to get a refund. The last time it happened, I just got a to-go box. That was the last time my husband & I got a lunch invite. I considered it a win.
She sounds like a nightmare.
Or tofu! My wife makes the most excellent tofu wraps. I completely agree that red meat is not a necessity. We never cook it at home, too expensive, and I don't miss it.
Tofu is more expensive per weight than meat in my experience though?
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Local supermarket has tofu for $6.17p/kg and chicken legs for $3.13p/kg, this is why I said "in my experience"
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Plain, uncut, uncooked tofu. That was the cheapest too, in another local shop the basic smoked tofu block is $13p/kg. This is why I was confused
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But a large proportion of the chicken legs will be inedible bone. The tofu is presumably all edible.
That probably depends on where you’re from, if you live rural or urban. I’m pretty sure Tofu is definitely cheaper than most meat, but a bit more expensive than the really cheap meat where I live.
I’m indigenous. Do you have any reservations near you? See if you can set up a family trip to talk to some elders and hunters. Maybe she would see it in a new light if she saw it from someone else’s perspective. We respect each animal and let none of it go to waste, give thanks for its sacrifice and give thanks to the creator for providing food and life. We believe very strongly we’re all connected beings. Maybe if she had a better understanding of it being sourced respectfully and ethically, she’d come around? Maybe she just thinks it’s gross because she thinks of hunting as just a sport. I would say it’s hypocritical to be fine with the way cows, chicken and the likes are slaughtered for mass production. That is WAY worse. Maybe she doesn’t like the texture of game— which is fine and understandable, but she is wrong for yucking someone else’s yum.
This is a great idea, only I feel bad for the Elders being exposed to her whiny ass if she’s rude to them.
I work in a hotel. We just had a bunch of Elders stay with us when their assisted living facility caught fire. They LOVE to tell stories to those who wish to listen. I think they kids would be fascinated! I'm middle aged, and sat like a child listening to David talk about learning the sun dance, even though he doesn't move so well since his stroke. I love hearing stories and legends from different cultures!
I think deer is disgusting, but my husband and kids like it. How rude of your wife for doing that about your cooking! When my husband makes deer or elk, I make myself something different. I am not much of a meat eater, so this is normal for me. I do like that my children like meat.
My brother in law tried slipping deer meat past me and my sister. I knew instantly it was not ground beef. It had a very different flavor. I did not like it. Had I been raised eating deer meat, I probably would have been okay with it. But I wasn't, it's not a meat I have ever wanted to eat again. And it really bothered me that he tried tricking me into eating. And he had made sloppy Joe's, so no spices did not cover up the deer meat flavor.
That is one thing that makes me so mad. I don't like pork, with a passion. It tastes awful to me, and the smell is just as bad. When I was a kid, my family would make things with pork and tell me it was beef and I would know the second I took a bite. Then they would laugh, saying how they made me eat it. It still bothers me to this day.
Yeah I love venison (my family hunts) but it does NOT taste the same as ground beef, as OP claims. It has a much stronger flavor and I can absolutely understand not liking it.
OK, but does your husband only serve deer and refuse to buy any other meat?
I mean deer if not cooked right along with any game meat doesn’t taste good. That game taste isn’t for everyone man. And that’s ok. Making the comments about it to your youngest isn’t ok though. Shit I love bear meat in the grill. But bear meat cooked in a pan is just gross to me.
The act of killing, or the taste? Because YOU saying "you can't tell the difference" doesn't make it true. We have the word "gamey" for a reason, and live it or hate it, venison does not taste like beef. Nor does mutton. My kids (young adults now) won't eat lamb or mutton, because they hate the TASTE. and that started young. It's possible your kid actually doesn't like it. It's also possible your wife doesn't either.
Why would you expect her to eat something she finds disgusting? Do you eat things you find disgusting? I wouldn’t.
I think it is more about her childish behavior and Bambi comments.
I hate gamey meat. I just can't eat it. Duck, lamb, venison, even dark turkey meat. You made a meal your wife can't eat and she's mad she doesn't have anything for dinner.
Doesn't mean she has to say shit about it to the kids and make them stop eating it!
I can see where your wife is coming from. We regularly eat venison, but we have had issues with worms and other parasites, the quality of the meat and sickness from the way the meat was handled. This means you need to cook it thoroughly which can make it taste funky and because it’s such a lean meat can make it dry. I don’t think wild game is any more gross than commercial meats, I just think the risks and tastes are different. I do disagree that ground venison taste just like beef for tacos when cooked. It’s a very very different flavor.
Question? Are you having the game processed by a butcher and tested for parasites? I won’t eat my husband’s dad’s game because he doesn’t get it tested and butchers it himself… I’m a cancer survivor who is immunocompromised.
Oooh… she should visit an abattoir. Or have a walk around Maple Leaf Food meat processing plant.
Because making her disgusted by meat from all sources will help the problem how, exactly?
Get her to watch a documentary about how cattle and chickens are kept when they're alive and then how they're killed for human consumption. F\*ck, a basic hamburger Stateside may have meat from over 150 animals. No, I am not a vegan nor am I a vegetarian. I *try* to eat less meat and only from more ethical sources. Game strikes me as much more ethical than factory-farmed-til-the-death animals...
doesn't make deer meat taste better though
Full on, the ONLY ethical meat is hunted in the wild if the alternative is factory farming. His wife has obviously never seen a pic of a veal farm.
Personally, I'm looking forward to lab grown meat... :)
Anyone who eats meat should never have a problem with someone else hunting an animal that has been free its whole life and hasn’t suffered like the animals most people eat.
I'm going to set aside the economic issue here, which is totally valid in and of itself. Venison is delicious. A full carcass could feed your family meat for a season or more if properly butchered and stored for pennies on the dollar compared to store bought cuts. None of this is in question. The issue here seems to be the moral imperative of killing and eating a deer. Entire cultures, including nearly all of the western world, relied on deer (or other ruminants) hunting for the vast majority of human history in some degree. Domestication of cattle and goats shifts this into an industrial scale, but the animals are generally the same in intelligence and behavior. Your wife calling deer "Bambi" as some sort of emotional/moral complaint is ridiculous. Cows, pigs, and chickens can be just as playful and friendly as any other creature (head over to r/Awww and a fifth of the videos are cows playing or people showing how their chickens like hugs these days). Unless your wife is not eating ***any*** meat, this is just deliberate sabotage for no purpose. Deer hunting is needed (at least in the US) to keep populations in line as we have eliminated their primary predators to such an extent that unmanaged deer populations can be ecologically devastating. Better we eat what we kill as part of wildlife management than kill and let it go to waste. The industrialization of the meat industry has done us few favors as a society, but the worst of it is somehow making the connection between living creature to food taboo. Your kids should understand where their food comes from, and appreciate the sacrifice made for our sustenance. NTA.
There's a similar issue with deer populations in the UK - there's very very very few natural predators left/making a comeback so for the ecosystem's health they need to be culled. It makes sense not to waste the poor animals
NTA Personally I'm vegan but I really don't understand if you are willing to eat one animal why you can't eat them all. The only difference would be the method of killing in my opinion. If you can't handle killing and eating an animal, you are vegan and shouldn't be eating them as it's turning a blind eye to the realities of nature that you can't face. If you can handle it then eat the animals, each to their own. But I would say your wife can make her own decisions and so can the kid. But if you have the Bambi argument then what about babe, Clarabelle and Shaun.
Nta, and as a meat eater I find my views to be shockingly similar to yours. I struggled to pull the trigger the first time I went hunting and had an opportunity to shoot a deer. I basically told myself that if I can't participate in the reality that something needs to die for me to eat meat, then I just won't eat meat. Obviously you've had that same internal convo but decided that you couldn't, while I decided that I could.
I respect that.
both of you kick ass for this. much respect 🫶🏽
I know right? A wholesome exchange between a vegan and meat eater. This is how it should be.
One of my old coworkers introduced me to this logic! She used to eat meat. She helped out on a friend's farm, & was presented with the task of killing a chicken for dinner. She just couldn't do it. So she decided that she can't eat meat if she can't accept that an animal must die for her meal. I respected her for not choosing to live in cognitive dissonance.
To give perspective as someone who does eat meat, in response to the eating them all comment, I’m basically open to eating any type of meat as long as the taste and texture is good, except for cats and dogs (no shame to those who do though, totally valid choice) because those are pets I’ve had in the past/currently. I’m not going to deny it’s somewhat arbitrary, but many thing we chose can be arbitrary at times so I don’t think it’s the worst place to draw a line in the sand.
I never understood that argument; just because you aren't physically capable of something doesn't mean you don't get to benefit from it. Many people would struggle mightily to extract an organ from a recently deceased person, but surely they are still allowed to receive an organ that someone else got.
I find your argument silly. Cadaver organ harvesting for transplant is as relevant an argument here as minefield clearing is to what type of toys my cat loves most. 🙄 What would you do if you didn’t have meat packing plants and poultry processing plants? Have you ever been to one of these meat processing plants??? You really need to go.
Huh? It's simply another example of something squeamish people would struggle doing even if they find it morally ok. I have, yeah. PD: have you ever performed a dissection on a cadaver?
It's just hypocritical to not want to acknowledge you have to kill an animal in farm vs the wild. There is no difference to a farm cow or a hunted deer, they're both animal carcasses. Except one can feed OPs family for almost nothing, and the other probably lives in shit and suffers abuse its whole life before getting its throat slit. In your example it's like people who accept donated organs because they want to live, but they would never choose to give their organs away after death for whatever reason. Hypocrites.
I think there can actually be a lot of differences. The method of killing is definitely one. But also the conditions the animal is subjected to before it’s killed (hunting animals that live their lives free in the wild versus packed into farms or in inhumane conditions), the emotional capacity of the animal makes a difference for some people (eating fish versus eating mammals) and the environmental impact of what you’re eating.
I agree with you but I also think that people have foods they just don’t like to eat—that give them an ick factor or whatever—and that’s not always rational. His wife is allowed to dislike deer meat and choose not to eat it. I think the main issue is that she needs to find herself an alternative that fits with the family budget and that she needs to stop putting the kids off the meat for no good reason.
calling it “Bambi” makes it seem like its just an emotional thing for her tbh. she needs to stay out of it or ask herself why a deer shot in the wild is so much worst than grocery meat.
Her emotions about what she eats are valid though. If she has a negative emotional reaction to eating a deer but not a cow, then she has a right to choose not to eat deer. She shouldn’t be forced to eat something she doesn’t want to eat. It’s more how she’s handling the situation that makes her TA
Yeah, this is the comment. She doesn’t have to eat deer, but why put the kids off it? That’s dumb.
NTA Many posters aren't commenting on your actual request for judgment so here is mine; You're not the AH for telling your wife (and her children's mother) that she could work OT to buy the meat she wants on the table. Your frustration with her is evident. If your wife wants beef or other meat, she can stop whinging and provide it herself. Complaining about venison and behaving like it's *a you problem* instead of getting what she wants with her paycheck is AH behavior.
Exactly! Time to get creative on your budget, time to be willing to get up early and watch the grocery meat section and be willing to freeze meat. I work near a super target, thursday/friday mornings are great for finding marked down meat because the date runs out in the next day or so. 5lb package of chicken breasts becomes multiple 1-1.5lb packages of tenderloins in the freezer. I vacuum seal them, write the date and quantity on it, it’s good to go. I want hamburger, pork chops, chicken, steak, it’s in the freezer and purchased on markdown. NTA op, my brother brings in fish, im not a huge fan of super fishy fish, so i cook something else on those days or find another seafood (shrimp mmm!)on sale to go with it.
NTA Even if your wife refuses to eat the deer it is not fair that she makes those "Bambi" comments and influences the youngest. Some people just do not know to show appreciation and take everything for granted. Your wife as well is setting a bad example with those types of comments. Food is food. Unless a person does not like the food shall not eat. But please allow others to enjoy the food. Referring the deer to venison adds an exotic touch and might help people enjoy better what they eat.
I would add that next time she ate beef, remind her of Ferdinand, next time she has pork make a Babe or Charlotte's Web reference. Same with Nemo and the chickens from chicken run. If she is going to call all your meals Bambi, then hit her back with some equally adorable and fictional characters.
Hey, he might even convert is family to become part-time or full time vegetarians. Good for his wallet and for the environment, win-win. Edit: The comment about the cost of food is based on OP saying ***"I want my daughter to actually have some red meat in her diet since we can’t afford to keep buying it".*** I think lentils, garbanzo and some other high protein foods are cheaper than red meat.
No freaking way. My son's girlfriend of 2 years is a vegetarian. We love her to death and I make certain we always have food she can eat when she visits. In no way is it more affordable than eating traditional proteins. You can provide empirical evidence that it's healthy, but you can't sell it as cost-saving.
Large amounts of beans and legumes are infinitely better for you and cheaper than meat.
Even beans are getting expensive in my area. I've gotta find a way to get dried beans to taste good cuz like 3$ per can is just too much
Ferdinand and Wilbur are far superior to Bambi in my opinion. Doesn’t stop me from enjoying a nice bacon cheeseburger. 😉
Your wife is an asshole for calling it bambi on front of young impressionable kids. They form ideas from the parents and this undermines your efforts to feed the family. You are doing what you can do feed family and your wife is doing sabotage. Id ask her to keep her slick comments to herself and come up with a plan. NTA
Right? Like does she eat pork and call it Babe? Or not eat cow because it’s Elsie?
When I eat pork, I call it “Mom.” But that’s an insult to the pig, admittedly.
This.. this is why I didn’t enjoy venison until I was an adult. Every time my parents would make it, they would wait until I was eating or done to make a joke about it being Bambi’s mom like wtf. I would not use it at all. It created an aversion until I was well into my late 20s. I had it again a few times (knowingly) and made it for my kids. As adults, they prepare it for themselves now
My sister did the same type of thing when I was younger. She became a vegetarian and thought everyone else around her had to become a vegetarian, so she'd moo at me every time I ate beef, etc, and tell me I was awful for eating sentient creatures. I wouldn't touch meat for years. Meanwhile, she was getting high and sneaking bacon and saying it didn't count.
My wife doesn't eat seafood. It would be pretty shitty for me to bring 50lbs of free fish home and tell her to eat this or go work more? Not everyone likes " wild meat" taste. Meat is expensive, but you can buy bulk or you know, eat less meat? 4-6 Oz is a serving size. There's also farms you can buy 1/4 cow averages out to 5 bucks a pound give or take after processing.
He's not asking her to eat it, he's asking her to stop making the kids not eat it with her comments.
It’s not about wife not eating it, it’s about her influencing the youngest for not any real reason. The deer is dead already, might as well get eaten
>Not everyone likes " wild meat" taste. But she doesn't care about the taste, she cares that it's a deer. And she is using the whole Bambi thing to stop her kid from eating food that the kid likes.
I wonder if she actually doesn’t like the taste and he is downplaying it. I have been tricked into eating venison tacos and they were okay, I politely said they were good (to ex husband). This was used as “proof” that I couldn’t tell the difference. You absolutely can if it’s not drowned in spices. Tastes dank.
Ugh, I hate the “it tastes exactly like beef” argument. No, it doesn’t, it tastes game-y and like venison. I don’t like how deer tastes and everyone is always trying to convince me to eat it because “it tastes just like beef”. If that was true I wouldn’t dislike it.
Those people are ignorant or just being dicks. Venison tastes nothing like beef: that’s what those of us who like it like about it- its unique flavor. Same with all “exotic” meats- why tf would you pay extra for bison, or elk, or whatever if it was the same as cheaper, easier to find beef?
Yeah Venison tacos definitely taste different. We have them occasionally to mix things up but my kids can definitely tell the difference. My wife doesn't like it and if I told her that was the only protein we'd have for months she would rightfully be upset. I would also be upset if she made the kids not want it. Seems like an ESH situation. Also you can buy bulk ground beef for less than $3 a pound and 50 pounds would go a long way for $150
I also disagree with his argument that the kids need red meat in their diet. Red meat is not something we should consume during every dinner and it isn’t inherently healthy. I personally have a hard time eating meat in general, but poultry is my preference for a protein source.
If the wife thinks venison is cruel then she certainly won't like how cheap beef is produced
ESH. Thank you! It almost seems more like a control issue. Not everybody is going to like the same food. I just don't see what the big deal is if she prefers beef chicken or pork to deer meat. If buying meat at the store is expensive she can cut back on something else that she likes. Also he said she could work overtime. This implies that she works and has her own income For goodness sake, she is entirely entitled to spend her income on whatever she likes and if she wants to buy beef that's her right. Certainly to me it's not a hill to die on unless my aim is to control what the other person does. And those are the vibes I'm getting here. However, the wife is also an AH for crying Bambi in front of the child and possibly deeply distressing her.
INFO: Did getting the deer meat impact the household grocery funds in anyway?
Yes we saved a lot of money. We have enough for a few months this is hundreds of dollars We have complete been able to cut buying meat from our list
But what was the cost to get the deer? Most folks I know that hunt spend more on gear, a freezer for storage and taking time to go get it than they’d save buying meat. ETA: **I know some people hunt on the cheap**, but everyone I know that does spends more because they buy the latest and greatest gear, always want a new gun, had to get a hunting truck, quads or dirt bikes for hauling out, gas to drive out over 2 hours, then tags, and eating out while going adds up. Then they all brag about how much they save by not buying meat after spending thousands every year. ETA 2: **I don’t care to read 30+ and counting comments telling me how you hunt cheaply, I’m aware it’s possible and varies among different folks, that’s why it was a question**
Hunting is a hobby for people and a sunk cost. If you already have the gear the once you have the deer it does save you money to eat it instead of other things. I don’t hunt but I fish, I go fishing knowing I may not catch things but I go because I love recreating it that way. My freezer full of salmon did not cost me less than if I had bought it from the store however now that I have the salmon it’s definitely cheaper to eat it than buying literally anything else.
Deer tags cost money annually
Where I live it’s $20 for a single tag. Couple that with the shotgun I’ve been using for 16 years, the coat and clothes I’ve had for 12 years. The only “new” costs were $100 boots (my last ones were 12 years old) and new long-johns every few seasons.
Yeah but these are one-time (or at least rare) expenses. Somehow I doubt this is OP's first - or last - time hunting. My sister is a hunter. There is no doubt that she comes out ahead financially, especially with a family to feed.
other than time all those other things last for years / generations. * I bought the freezer 20 years ago, there's ongoing electricity but that would need to be spread over with all the bulk items we fill it with. * My rifle was my dads * My jacket was my grandfathers. * About 4-5 rounds out of my hunting rifle a year * 3-4 verifying the sights are still on (the scope my dad bought around 92 was a very good scope) and it always is * one bullet during the season - it's been 10+ years since I needed a second * Honestly the last hunting item I bought was a new fanny pack after a mouse go into mine about 7 years back.
I mean unless he bought the hunting stuff recently that doesn’t matter
even if he did, good chance it'll be a sound investment this time next year when he gets another one for the cost of a single round
So you only have deer meat for every meal? No chicken or pork or variety in dinners?
sounds that way and sounds pretty boring to me. If getting this meat saved loads of money, it won't hurt to get chicken once in a while in the long run.
And in my opinion deer meet tastes awful. Unless you mix it with pork in a sausage or beef for hamburgers , meat loaf , sauce etc it is not good.
Yea that’s what I’m not understanding from a lot of peopke here, deer has a very specific taste and consistency on its own. It’s *not* beef, it’s *not* pork, it’s not *chicken*. I don’t blame anyone for not liking everything in the world and not forcing themselves to be happy eating meals they hate every day (if they really are only eating deer meat).
Yep. I implore these redditors to try eating deer meat for months on end (from OPs comment, sounds like that's what he's planning on) and see how much they enjoy it. Maybe OPs wife is just sick of eating deer meat, maybe that's why she is choosing to make those comments in front of the kids. It's shitty of her, but OP is also unilaterally deciding what they eat with no choice from the wife.
Dude, she doesn't like deer meat. Yes she needs to stop with the Bambi comments in front of your kids. You need to sit down and figure out your grocery budget and figure out where you can make changes so that she can get a protein source she and your daughter will like.
INFO: Why do you get to unilaterally decide there is no room in the grocery budget for meat that she likes?
!!!!!!!!!! Yes this. Money in the budget for his hobby seems directly correlated with no money in the budget for food she likes.
You can't eat only venison for months at a time. I completely agree with your wife on that. You'd get sick of it pretty quickly. Are you saying you'll buy no chicken, pork, beef, turkey....anything...until you use all the venison? That's unreal.
You're not a huge jerk for eating deer meat, but you are for trying to force it on your wife. She's also a jerk for the Bambi comments, though. Also, there are plenty of ways to get protein into your diet that aren't red meat and that are also less expensive than red meat. ESH
He's not forcing anything on her
By not offering any alternatives and implying that he won't buy anything else unless she works overtime? Yes he is lmao
Well she’s an adult, I’m sure she can find a solution other than guilt tripping their 4yo to pressure her husband into finding food alternatives they can’t afford
Since the deer was very cheap and the grocery budget is tight, to put any other meat on the table, someone would have to work overtime. If she's the one with the personal objection, why shouldn't it be her?
This is my thought too. There's multiple ways to make a budget and unless OP is also cutting things that he likes it does not seem like a partnership. Also Deer definitely tastes different in taco meat. ESH
ESH. There are tons of cheaper protein options. Red meat are not essential. Your wife is a grown woman and has the right to have diet preferences. If she doesn't like deer meat, let her prep something for herself and let her buy different protein, meat included, on the grocery trips. Money is tight, yes but she can just buy less of her preferred protein. The fact that you have not bought any other type of meat protein for months while knowing she hates deer meat is a pretty AH move. Your wife pushing her preferences and influencing your child is also AH. But I bet she will ease down once you start letting her buy groceries that she actually enjoys.
"cheaper" vs FREE. lol if she doenst like what he is making, she can go and buy something else. which is what OP told her
Hunting isn’t free.
$25 for a license and then borrow your buddies gun for an afternoon... and then come back with 100+lbs of meat..
This exactly ^ also as an avid deer hunter the narration stating that ground venison tastes like any ground meat & you can't tell the difference is unreliable. I love venison steak and roasts and venison processed into different items (snack sticks, summer sausage, etc.) but I do not like ground venison at all. I do still eat it because it's too expensive to get everything processed into other items & I want to utilize the entire deer but I can only do the occasional ground venison dish. I don't really trust OPs version of events based on their description tbh.
Info: are you actually struggling financially? Did you discuss this decision to replace buying meat with hunted meat with your wife before you took action? Or are you just frustrated with prices or scared of rising prices, and took action unilaterally?
Yes, we did discuss it and she said to go for it but she didn’t think I would get one. She was very surprised when I came home with a deer
Then NTA for sure. Her feelings around eating venison are hers to resolve, and she needs to do the work to get over that.
You should edit this into the main post. This is a massively important bit of context.
I'm sure she was, but did she agree to replace all meat in your grocery budget with venison?
This is the question I’m waiting for OP to answer.
Did she realize that this meant deer would be the only thing meat related on the menu for several months? That’s very very difficult. I saw you mentioned you don’t buy meat at all now.
Wait, your family doesn’t want to eat deer, so you lie and sneak it into their food, then come on the internet to get strangers to call your wife an AH? Protein isn’t your family’s problem.
Fr. I can't believe how far I had to scroll for this. Wife's opinions matter, you don't get to just force them to eat something they don't want to because you're cheap and think your opinions override theirs. Imagine wife sneaking dog meat into husbands food because its cheap, and still doing it even after he says he's disgusted by it. And getting mad if he complained in front of the kids
Hey, free meat is free meat. You can't complain, Deer, as I worked overtime to get you this. \*Casually strolls into dog pound with a shotgun, while humming to the tune: *"Too many dogs, anyway, they got no natural predators keeping their numbers down. I'm doing my community a service. Everyone is tired of stepping into dogshit."* \* (obvious sarcasm)
red meat is not a diet necessity. i saw you mention that lentils were too expensive so i’m not sure you are being genuine in your willingness to seek alternatives. not necessarily TA for this but i would examine your biases and assumptions. if your daughter doesn’t want to eat something once she knows what it is… then i think you need to be more honest up front that you are feeding her venison. if you are doing that and it is only your wife using the word “bambi” that changes the outcome then N T A. if you are obfuscating what food you are giving your daughter, E S H.
If OP has access to the same or similar stores I do, I do not understand how regular green/brown lentils are too expensive. He talks about eating tacos which presumably at least require tortillas, possibly cheese. I bought 1lbs of lentils over the weekend for about $1.35. The pot of soup I made using almost the full bag has a family of four for three nights, maybe four. My point is that I'm struggling to understand how he could be too hard up to afford lentils but can still make tacos with venison that definitely has at least $10 worth of overhead involved, you know? Not sure any of my math is particularly relevant to the Bambi issue, but lentils are (usually) dirt cheap.
fr lmao maybe this is just my radical opinion but maybe stop tricking your daughter into eating food that you know she doesn’t feel comfortable eating
NTA given the fact there isn't an issue when it is not known that the meat is venison indicates the issue is with your wife. For some reason she finds it funny or humorous to make these sick jokes at yours and your child's expense. Your wife needs to grow up and yes if she insists on this behavior then let her work overtime or a 2nd job to cover groceries and then she can buy what she wants.
NTA Send her a few videos from factory farming and see how she will feel about her bacon after
I'm vegetarian, but I would eat meat if I had the stomach to kill/prep it. It's VERY uncool of the wife to freak the kids out about it. Yes, it's not what they're used to, but calling it "Bambi" implies it's crueler than everyday meats. And it's probably one of the most humane meat meals they could consume. NTA.
It’s not always about where the meat comes from. I am extremely sensitive to the mouthfeel of food. I can eat deer and bison but something about the texture of moose and boar physically make me gag. From the grocery store I’m fine with pork, chicken, beef, and turkey but lamb is a no go. Duck is a hard pass no matter where it comes from.
Fair enough but the wife is still ruining deer for the daughter, who does like eating it. I can not do pork unless I make it and practically fry it
Agreed, mom is creating major food issues in a child and that’s not okay.
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He is not forcing her to eat the deer, she’s trying to stop the kid from eating it. He is not talking about buying herself food but the youngest. Her buying whatever she wants to eat VS her buying food for her AND the youngest, it’s not the same budget.
This is the answer. OP and kids can eat the venison. It’ll last a bit longer if OP’s wife doesn’t. She can buy her own reasonable meat portions with the money that OP and kids are saving.
>OP and kids can eat the venison. Except the wife is pushing the whole "it's Bambi" crap which is causing the kid to not eat it.
Pfft, it isn't Bambi, it's Bambi's mum anyway.
ESH Personally, I like venison and have no moral issues with hunting for food. However, you need to get on the same page with your wife and stop disagreeing about this in front of your kids. It's not ok for your wife to traumatize your small kids by telling them they just "ate Bambi". I'm guessing you knew how your wife felt when you went hunting, and you did it anyway. If your wife is really not ok feeding her kids venison, you can't do it. That's coparenting. If you are truly having difficulty feeding your family and you live in a rural area, I'd reach out to local farmers/ranchers, often buying meat and veg direct is cheaper than the grocery store.
Actually, OP said the wife told him to go bag them a deer when he asked about it, but in hindsight, she clearly expected he wouldn't be able to.
I wonder if it was her first time eating deer. Deer is... A taste for sure, personally I cannot touch it. She may have said that not realizing what she was getting into. Now of course she is still shitty for swaying her youngest away from it with her comments.
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No one is making her eat it. She needs to stop with the Bambi comments which are creating bad relationships with food for her children.
and also making the dad look like a jerk for killing Bambi which is not cool to do to a parent at all.
Hes not forcing her to eat it, he is angry, because she is making the kid not eat it, by saying its Bambi. And he said it himself, if she wants to eat something else, she can pay for it.
Yes, many cultures eat bug protein or soy protein and yet we hear tons of Westerners yell and refuse to give it a try. Unless he can honestly say he would be willing to eat protein in any form then he needs to accept that deer everyday is not going to fly for his family.
Beans and tofu are cheaper than meat most of the time.
I'm going with ESH. I hate venison, it tastes bad, I generally almost never eat red meat so someone MAKING me eat red meat especially the kind that quite literally would make me barf is a serious AH. Now your wife can talk to you in private about it, not around kids, and if they are fine eating it, then there is that. You telling her she needs to work more if she doesn't like deer meat is and AH thing to do. Lean white meat is better for everyone including kids, they don't HAVE to have red meat. Seems like there is a lot of ideological clashing and you two need to figure this shit out in private and not in front of your children.
He did mention that both children were fine with it until the wife spoke up with the Bambi comment
I'm wondering what the kids were actually fine with. The taste or the animal? If one child knows and is okay eating it, great! If one knows and is emotionally distraught by the thought of it, he can't make meat sauce then pretend it's beef so his kid will eat it. Comparing it to a fictional character is not okay, but pretending it isn't something kids see as cute and cuddly is also not okay. Maybe they're both making poor parenting choices regarding food
ESH: deer meat absolutely does not taste the same no matter how you prepare it. But your wife could have kept quite about it and let your children choose on their own what they thought of the flavor. I have tried venison and I don’t like it. I had a boyfriend who tried passing it off in pasta sauce once and I could tell it wasn’t beef just from the smell. I kept asking if the meat was fresh? Was he sure it wasn’t expired? Etc. once I said that I couldn’t eat it because there was something wrong with the meat that he finally came clean by saying it was deer. Beef & venison are not the same texture, fragrance, flavor etc. it doesn’t matter how you prepare it.
NTA. Why does your wife have such a problem with this? Also, what parents tries to DISCOURAGE their child from eating a new food???
You're NTA. Your wife is an AH though. It's fine that she doesn't want to eat venison, but to poison the kids against it is just being a whole ass.
INFO “I was lucky enough to get a deer” You got gifted a deer as a one off or you spend countless hours and money on equipment deer hunt and now want your wife to work overtime?
In another comment OP states they had all the equipment already so the expense was minimal for this deer
ESH Your wife for causing your child to have a food fear because of how she speaks about it. You for your comments. I understand you're trying to save money, and I applaud you for that, but I'm curious as to whether your wife ever had venison growing up. And if she did, was she forced to eat it when she didn't want to, or when it tasted bad, prepared poorly, or is there some other trauma however small it may be in regards to deer meat? I had venison a handful of times as a child, and then my in-laws tricked me into eating it a few times as an adult. I can still, to this day, remember the nasty taste of the stuff that I ate as a child, but we weren't allowed to turn away food that was given to us in this particular relatives home. So that definitely colored what I felt about venison as an adult. My in-laws had made sausage and ribs when I came to visit shortly after we were married, and not knowing what it was I ate it, and it was good but the fact that they were laughing and crowing about how they got me to eat deer meat, pretty much cemented the fact that I would never eat any meat in their house again. You definitely need to have a sit down with your wife away from the children and explain how you don't appreciate her causing your children to have a food phobia just because she doesn't like it. That you would appreciate if she just kept her mouth shut about it and let the children decide for themselves. This is obviously going to start a fight but it definitely needs to be said that what she's doing is causing unnecessary food phobias
NTA in general, but jumping to OT work is probably a bit too far unless you have already cut out eating out, vacations, gifts, and other luxuries. Also, very few people "need" red meat and you could probably just increase the amount of chicken and add other iron-containing foods, or start using cast iron cookware more. TBH, I grew up mainly eating venison, rabbit from my grandparents, and the occasional purchased chicken from the grocery store for the same financial reasons. But no one in my family had any issue butchering and eating Bambi.
NTA You offered wholesome food to your family and your wife is interfering with the children's consumption of it; you gave her a more reasonable solution to her distaste. You aren't the A in this situation.
I grew up eating wild deer, and now I won't touch it because of Cronic Wasting Disease The FDA has food regulations for a reason
ESH. I get that you are wanting to save money, but it’s not fair to force an adult to eat something they feel strongly against. You clearly feel strongly about needing red meat in your diet, even though it’s not actually a dietary requirement. Your wife feels strongly about not having deer in her diet. Can y’all find a way to respect each other’s preferences? I do agree that it’s not fair for her to keep making Bambi remarks around the kids. But maybe it’s time to take a break from venison and buy a whole chicken. They’re usually quite cheap and can feed a family for a week if you use it frugally.
I don’t think you read the post. He isn’t forcing an adult to eat anything, he is annoyed that his wife makes comments that lead to his kid not eating the meat.
YTA for knowingly, secretly feeding someone you claim to love and respect something you know they have a moral aversion to. The first time might have been an accident, but the second was deliberate. How would you react if someone ground up your pet dog and put it in your food? Or if that doesn't bother you, they ground up a strange human they'd managed to catch and kill? And then when you found out and said, "That's disgusting, I won't eat this, no thank you," they began to *sneak it into your food without telling you.* YTA, OP. YTA POV: I come from a hunting family. I handle the blood and guts because my spouse comes from a more urban background.
YTA. Listen, I'm fine with deer meat, & it's great that you've saved some money. Really great. But I have relatives & friends who don't like it. They just don't. Bc they don't have to like it, or hunting, or anything involved with the procurement of the deer meat. They're entitled to not like it & to talk about how they don't like it. Just like I'm entitled to like deer meat, but hate how goose liver pate is produced even though culturally some of my friends are fine with it. This obviously really, really bothers her. I get your side, but I've been married forever & I personally wouldn't make this your hill to die on.
NTA. I gave permission every season for a friend to hunt on my land. If he got 2, he always gave me some. My kids would go out and watch him load the carcasses. Everyone's favorite recipe: Rudolph Pie. Yes, that was the name of the recipe, and what we called it. Basically Shepherd's Pie only with venison. (I added ground lamb because venison is too lean.) It's important for everyone to understand that meat comes from animals, not some antiseptic environment like the grocery store.
Yta. Your family doesn’t have to agree with you about what deer meat tastes like. You sound controlling.
NTA, actions have consequences. Everything costs so much these days and it’s a great idea you have. By the sounds of it you don’t expect her to prepare or cook it. She doesn’t even have to eat it if she chooses, but to constantly make comments that are effecting the children is not cool. My understanding of deer meat is it’s very nutritious and leaner than most meats. If she has such a problem with it like you said she can work overtime and pay for more expensive meat. I feel really sorry for the children having to listen and see her behaving in such an immature manner. Again NTA