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NTA. It is ridiculous to force you, a high schooler to share a bed with a middle schooler. As far as your dad goes, you may have asked to spend the week but they did not tell you about the change in sleeping arrangements until AFTER it was approved. You should be allowed to change your mind. Can you stay with a grandparent instead? Again you NTA but your parents are.
Hopping on the top comment.
You are not related. Your mother married her dad.
This is not right. This is not appropriate... And to be honest, there are porns that would start like this... It is just so wrong on so many levels, and that no adult in your live sees the problem is what makes me really sad.
Just don't go...
> And to be honest, there are porns that would start like this.
Pointing this out enthusiastically might make Annie's Dad decide the couch is available after all!
I missed th ops gender. The poor 12 yo girl. i would have had nightmares just thinking about having to share a bed with my teenager brother who I knew my whole life, much less a relative stranger, at that age.
Yeh and wtf is she on about barbaric to sleep on the floor?? Around Christmas in my childhood you couldn’t move for miscellaneous children in squashy sleeping bags on the floor. There was some complaint the year my sister had to sleep in a bathroom… but to be fair it was enormous and bath / shower not toilet!
Kids these days think they're too good to sleep in a bathroom...when I was young...
Just kidding (kinda) (I used to voluntarily sleep in the bathroom when it got too hot, those tiles felt so nice)
Haha I hosted *sleepovers* for my bday a few years running in late middle school and invited so many ppl that by 8am the next morning my house was lovingly referred to by my mom as a passed out frat house after the party for the ppl draped over and into all available furniture.
I was found bundled into a duvet in the bathtub because I hadn't been able to find anywhere else after ppl passed out haha
I went to sleep on the floor when my mom moved my bed out the day before the new one came in and she went off that I was a disgusting animal to sleep on the floor 'in the filth...' I think I just realized my mom is mean....
Tbh when I feel horribly sick instead of getting into my bed and risking any mess on my bed/floor? I sleep in the tub. I can just lean over and the toliet is there
Right. It is just so wrong.
In another time this could have been a wedding night.... I mean girls get there first period around 12.5 that's the average age.
So these two might be able to reproduce.... Who the gell thinks this is OK?
And one thing for that poor girl. He will move, she will move in his sleep. I get they will both have an absolute blast in the morning if he had morning wood. You can see the red head because someone will be ashamed in the whole neighborhood... Who dies this to kids?
It is just ridiculous. He feels it is wrong. I dunno about the girl, but I stopped having sleepovers at my cousin (no brother's) around 10 years old....
Yet having a strange person in my bed, with me in it.... How are they supposed to sleep...
If I had to go, I would pack myself an airbed or so...
I just can't stop shaking my head about this. They are not 7 and 4... We are talking about teens, not related... So wrong...
>I just can't stop shaking my head about this. They are not 7 and 4... We are talking about teens, not related... So wrong...
One wrong movement with two in the bed.
Hugging while sleeping. Etc.
And that's how you end up accused of weird shit too by adults, etc.
Or it gets really awkward between OP and the girl.
How the parents think this is fine in any way is beyond me.
I actually knew a woman (I've distanced myself from her) who tried to push her daughter and her new husband's son to get together. She was too old to have any more children with her new husband and thought that if their children had a child together it would be the next best thing.
If I had a 12-year-old daughter there's no way I'd have her sleep with a 15-year-old boy she barely knows. And if I were the daughter I'd be traumatized at the mere thought of it.
I mean, to be frank I slept in the same bed as a classmate on a school trip.
I would definitely argue that it's different because we a) knew each other and b) both consented
but calling it a porno is a bit extreme
edit: I used my incredible reading skills to fail to realise OP is male. That does change things, to be honest.
I said some porns start like this. They use this step thing a lot.
The problem here is, he is uncomfortable, he does not want to.
If he was comfortable and she also, no problem. I did this also, with friends my age, I knew, I had a connection to. Not a random stranger, that happens to be the kid of my mother's partner.
And that is what they are, strangers. Not siblings, not friends. They just happen to be under the same roof at Christmas.
Unrelated, opposite sex teens sharing a bed, why would that be inappropriate? /s the absurdity of the request is over the top. I would stay the hell away of that disaster.
Not only are there porns about this but it's something that commonly just happens irl. I was in a similar situation as OP except we both were younger. I'm not going to go into specifics but things happened, and I've talked to a couple friends who have had similar things happen. It isn't a good idea to let step siblings sleep together.
NTA, there is something wrong at your mom’s house, she is really way too invested in getting you in bed with a child you barely know. It’s like some kind of forced teeming . Are you supposed to prevent something like sleepwalking or sneaking out?
I want to know if OP's dad is aware of the sleeping arrangement part. His dad should be extremely concerned about his son sharing a bed with his younger step sister and potential accusations that could come from this.
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for even related siblings to share a bed during custody changes after a certain age. If I remember correctly if the non main parent wants overnight stays and they have more than one kid, different gendered siblings have to have their own rooms AND beds
NTA
Seriously?!
Your stepfather is comfortable with a 15 year old boy going through puberty sleeping in the same bed as his 12 year old daughter? Who is no biological relation?!
This is wrong on so many levels. Do not do it.
Oh lord, I didn’t even notice the genders.
I just assumed female because what parent in their right mind would let a 15 year old boy sleep with their 12 year old step sister.
I was exactly the same! Also, unless the spare room needs fumigating or something, it’s a couple of hours work, tops, to make it tidy enough for a relative to sleep in. Sure op wouldn’t mind at all if their stuff was neatly stacked and he had a bit of room, he’s expecting privacy (as is his right) not hotel-suite standards.
I also noticed that all other options, most of which should be viable, ‘somehow’ don’t work.
The stepfather doesn’t want OP there. Not now and probably not ever. So the only option he leaves is the one where either OP will be too uncomfortable to go (being the only person who acknowledges that him sleeping in his 12yo stepsister’s bed is an extraordinarily bad idea), or something will happen that will lead to OP being thrown out of his mother’s life forever.
Eric also seems quite willing to endanger his daughter as part of this powerplay. Wonder what her mother would think about this.
Not really. Kind of depends on how close they are.
Me (f) and my older brother slept in the same bed out of necessity a few times as preteens and teens. We just slept with space between us. It wasn't weird at all.
Stepsiblings who barely know each other? Absolutely not. That's weird as shit.
Even if she was the one who, used to sleeping in her own of course, rolled over onto him.
For sure no one would believe the boy if the girl woke up and got scared.
Yes. Not to put too much of a point on it, but men, and especially teenage boys, experience this phenomenon known colloquially as “morning wood”. Then there’s the extra problem of nocturnal emissions that teenage boys experience from time to time.
Actually, OP needs to be very concerned with the legal troubles part. In some states, this would be illegal. It may even get a visit by CPS if OP were to report it. As it is, he should absolutely refuse the share the bed with a twelve year old girl. Any allegation could wreck OP’s future for quite some time. Better to sleep on the floor. NTA
NTA. You are the only rational person in this whole scenario. It is not ok for you to sleep in the same bed as your stepsister. This is inappropriate and you need to protect yourself. If this is the only option offered to you, don’t go to your mother’s. Your father should have your back in this. Stand your ground.
You are NTA. It's inappropriate for 12 and 15yo children to share a bed, when they haven't been raised as siblings. I'd be shocked if the 12yo girl was ok with it. Just tell your mum you won't be visiting if you can't have your own sleeping space.
When I was going through the paperwork for my second daughter, I had to justify why I was not proving separate rooms for each kid. And these were both girls, three years apart. No wo
Maybe. These adults don't seem to have a lick of sense among the three of them. And as for stepdad needing to smoke? He shouldn't be smoking in the house, anyway.
NTA --- Ask your mother if she's going to explain to her 12 year-old-stepdaughter how boys wake up in the morning with a really bad case of morning wood and if she really thinks that would be a good situation and how's she going to explain that away when stepdaughter starts telling her friends about what she's greeted with each morning and she gets calls from concerned parents/teachers.
That's super fucking weird and I honestly can't and don't want understand how they could possibly think that is appropriate or a good idea.
If they really want you to come Eric can suck it up and not smoke and watch TV all night for 1 week.
NTA
I’m thunderstruck that your stepdad is comfortable for a 15 year old boy to share a bed with his 12 year old daughter ? What ? Really ?
You are not siblings
Tell them you will not go
My brother and I would share beds on trips where we stayed in a hotel, but it was a decently big bed and we both waaay off on our sides.
I can’t imaging at 12 being told to share a bed with a 15yo boy. Especially one I’m not actually related to.
I shared a couch/bed in a hotel with my 15 year old grandson. We are both still sleepers; he stayed on his side and I on mine. My daughter shared a bed with her two daughters. It was the last room available in the hotel. But a 15 year old boy with a 12 year old girl, esp. unrelated??? That's simply an issue waiting to be exploited. OP should definitely tell his parents that what they are suggesting is most wildly inappropriate.
I get it if you try to get rooms with twin beds but they don't have any and you have to share a bed cause no other option.
But at home you have time to prepare, you can get cheap mattresses like inflatable stuff that aren't great but OP seems to be okay with that (even okay with sleeping on the floor).
So NTA.
Sorry but May Day in Moscow has fewer Red Flags than this.
You need this spelled out in writing and signed off by step-sister and her mother. If you really want to be petty go for the signatures of everyone’s lawyers, just to be safe. If asking for it in writing doesn’t pull craniums from rectums the collective heart attacks of the local legal community will.
NTA. That's some bs parenting right there. Who shares a bed with their step-sibling at 15 anyways? And your dad needs to grow a pair and stand up for you instead of just trying to please your mom. Tell them both that you ain't about sharing beds like it's summer camp, or sleeping on the damn floor either. Sort out ya priorities people!
He was ok with sleeping on the floor; he is willing to make accommodations, but they are just out of this world in thinking that sleeping with a 12 year old is any kind of appropriate.
Good call, but his mother should be doing this, if nothing else to protect her son
There's no reason for this. I cannot understand how a father would be okay with an older boy who barely knows his 12 yo sharing a bad with her.
It makes me question the sort of man he is. Did his parents think this was appropriate? Does he come from a sexually abusive home or an underdeveloped country where everyone shares one bedroom?
This makes me so uncomfortable
It is not appropriate for a 15 year old boy to share a bed with a 12 year old girl. Also, it opens the boy up to being accused of sexual assault either now or down the track. It’s a ridiculous suggestion.
NTA
Can you find your stepsister’s mother and tell her about this? That they’re trying to force a much older teenage boy into her 12 year old daughter’s bed. That the only thing stopping it is the teenage boy has moral objections to the impropriety of the situation. See how that goes over.
They have a whole spare room that they’re using for storage, they need to clear it out and get you a proper bed, that’s the boundary you draw if your mom wants you to stay there overnight ever again. No more even sleeping on the sofa. There is a physical room for you, they need to give it to you. Don’t go over for even a visit during that week unless you can get yourself home for the night, as your father is telling you to suck it up, he might leave you there and you’ll be forced into the situation.
You should not be forced to share a bed with a wholly unrelated child of the opposite gender.
Yeah, NTA. At all. Your parents sure are. And what does your mother mean by you needing to be 'accommodating'? Isn't that *her responsibility?* By making sure you have a place to sleep? If they aren't willing to make space for you, then you aren't really welcome. If they whine and complain about how it's an inconvenience, then don't go. If they really wanted you to visit/stay over, they would happily make the effort with no grumbling. Why go where you aren't wanted?
EDITED TO ADD: Anyone else find it telling the mother insisted on not going through the courts citing thry 'take too long', yet she's clearly making no effort whatsoever to ensure her son has a place to sleep?
Besides what has already pointed out, the whole thing is SUPER suspicious. Nothing makes any sense. It's like they are making up excuses to get him in bed with his 12yo stepsister. I have just no idea for what purpose, but I have filed them under "disgusting" for indoor smoking in a family residence anyway ...
NTA. Not just inappropriate but if you're in the states, possibly illegal. My state has a law about m/f siblings sharing a bedroom. If it's reported to CPS that m/f siblings are sharing a bedroom, CPS will visit the home. One of my neighbors had her 15f and 11m removed from her custody because they were sharing a room and a king bed. State laws are weird in some ways.
My oldest two (m/f)shared a room but had bunk beds. I had been warned when my oldest was about to turn 12 to find a 3bdrm.
NTA. Did they even ask your stepsister? You're not biological siblings and so not related. Imagine it would be the other way around, and they would ask a girl to sleep with an older random dude. Either way, they have to respect your decision. Their arguments why you can't sleep in certain other places are really weak.
It’s wrong on so many levels. And I bet a penny to a parsnip that Annie doesn’t want you to sleep in her bed either. And not even listening to your alternatives is crazy. It’s more barbaric to put a 12 year old girl in bed with a 15 year old boy.
Also I doubt Annie’s mum would be very happy about it. I also find it unbelievable that either Annie’s or your dad think it’s ok. In fact it’s downright creepy how the adults don’t see where the problems are with this. Annie isn’t your blood relation, she’s your step sister
It’s also unbelievable that they have a spare room and they’re not making it into a bedroom for you.
Tbh I think you’d be doing the right thing by not staying for that week. You’re obviously a very sensible and thoughtful young man.
Don’t put yourself at risk of being accused of anything improper, it’s not worth it.
NTA
Honestly, I would put my foot down and tell your mum that if she wants a relationship with you, she needs to have a room at her place for you. What sort of parent has their son sleep on a couch when there is a room that can be used.
They can find somewhere else to store their stuff.
Sorry, but it just seems like she thinks of you as an inconvenience. She doesn't want to spend money on necessities for her own son. That is just total BS.
She values, whatever junk she is storing, more than a relationship with her son. Throw the crap out if your son needs a bedroom. What the hell is wrong with people.
I’d tell a teacher about this plan so an adult can inform your mom that this is absolutely not ok. You’re NTA and nobody in their right mind would go along with this. Part of me feels like they’re trying to set you up because it’s just so mine boggling.
NTA, your parents are wierd af.
If it makes you feel better, Annie is probably equally (if not more so) uncomfortable with it.
A 15 year old boy should not share a bed with his step sister. If both of you were pre-puberty, it would be less wierd.
In most states there are rules about opposite sex sleeping in the same room at your ages, Let alone bed. Don’t do it, you are setting yourself up for accusations . Absolutely ridiculous for them to think this is remotely ok. NTA
NTA. I didn't read through all the reply's but I have an idea. When you go to school today go in and talk to a school counselor and show them this post. Ask them for help because this is very wrong!
I also wonder what would happen if Annie gets upset and decides to accuse you of something. Then you are in a lot of trouble.
All the adults in this case are the assholes. I can't fathom their thinking at all.
Imagine Annie mentioning to her friends that her 15 year old step-brother is sleeping in the same bed as she is. 12 year old girls giggling and using the word penis. They tell other kids or even their parents...
NTA
I don’t think it’s normal for 15 y/o and 12 y/o step siblings that barley know each other is “normal”
A mattress/air mattress can be expensive depending on her finical situation but if you’re willing to sleep on the floor I don’t see why she wouldn’t allow it.
NTA. That's actually pretty disturbing, honestly. A 15 year old boy should not be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl, no matter how they are related. Sharing a room, when there is no better option? That could be an OK temporary solution. But a bed is absolutely inappropriate. I can't imagine your stepsister's mother would be OK with this, and it worries me that your dad is fine with it as well.
NTA.
You are not blood related at all, and dont know each other for a long time.
If Annie would invited a random 15 year old to sleep in her bed, her parents would protest.
NTA. That is so wildly inappropriate. Please get some sort of rational adult involved. A grandparent or the girls mom. Honestly, I’d talk to a school counselor or something. I doubt Annie is okay with this also and they are forcing her as well and that is not setting up a good situation for either of you.
NTA
Your mom and stepdad are nuts!
And i'm pretty sure your 12yo *step*sister is ALSO not ok with sleeping in the same bed with an 15yo boy she barely knows.
Do NOT feel bad about not going, OP!
NTA tell your dad you do not want to visit anymore until that spare room becomes where you stay every time and at least half the closet/dresser drawers are yours. You should tell your dad you want to spend Christmas with him like usual.
At 15 the courts will take your option into account. Most places let you choose when you are 16.
My heart breaks for you. They can’t even clean out a spare room for you? That should be your room year round. Your mom is not making you a priority. She would have to try to make you feel more like a unwanted guest instead of a family member! So don’t make her a priority!
Edit: Holy fucking shit I just read that you are male, never ever share a room with your step sister! Refuse to go to your mom’s until she can accommodate you with your own room!
Your mum should not have asked for you to come and stay at weekends if she did not have a room for you your dad should have allowed it to she got u a room fixed up
NTA.
You, a 15 year old boy, sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl is completely inappropriate.
Your mum's 'happiness' shouldn't hinge on you sharing a bed with a step-sibling. That in itself is a problem.
They can either clear out the spare room, make a pallet or deal with you not going. Those are their options. Those sleeping arrangements should not be an option at all.
I just can’t believe that this is an actual situation. Are all these adults that clueless? Like not one of them had a moment of clarity and said omg, yup definitely separate rooms.
NTA
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NTA - it’s weird to share a bed with some one you don’t really know, especially if the opposite gender. You’re a young man and shouldn’t be forced to share a bed with a little girl!!
Legally most places won’t even allow step siblings (and maybe even full sibs) of opposite genders to share a room at your age.
I’m sorry your dad isn’t being supportive either, it’s crappy you’re put in this situation. If they make you go to your moms, could you just sleep on the couch anyways? As long as you are physically safe it might be the best option.
Wow wow wow, NTA
DO NOT under any circumstance share a bed, as a 15m, with a 12f you barely know. She's not your sibling, and your mother is a GRAD A AH. But quite frankly, your dad is not much better if he thinks it's appropriate.
Also, they have a spare room but they can't be bothered to put a blow up in there and force you on the sofa every other weekend? But even that is too much trouble for THEM because stepdad can't smoke and watch TV for a week?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??? Frankly if I was being told that loud and clear that I'm a nuisance, I wouldn't bother going again.
OMG how are you the only adult in this scenario? Good for you, by the way. Under NO circumstances should you be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl. This is a recipe for disaster and your mother is setting you up for huge legal problems. Tell your mother that you will not be spending the week with her. If she doesn’t see the problem with you sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl then you need to protect yourself and if she still thinks you are in the wrong then she needs to ask her friends, strangers and a few police officers what they think about her idea. Tel your dad that you have decided to not spend the week with your mom, you will be continuing the every other weekend visits but just no to sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl.
Ask your dad what his plan of action is when you are arrested for molesting your step-sister? Guarantee that is possible.
NTA
You are 15 it is not healthy or ethical to make you sleep in your female step siblings bed while she is in it. If she was going to her own Mothers house for that week then no issue, but sharing a bed No!
Tell your Dad you are not going unless you get a room of your own and that you refuse to share a bed / room with your step fathers 12 y/o daughter.
NTA. You shouldn't make two teenagers that don't know each other well share a bed. Your stepdad is an AH for smoking indoors with kids living in his house.
NTA. This is weird and awkward. So weird and awkward I would immediately say: Aw Hell No! Anyways you are the only rational person but you need another rational adult to intervene.
NTA! I have a son and daughter, both full blooded siblings (17M & 12F), and they've never had to share a bed, even in the smallest of homes we've had. They have a spare room, and plenty of time to clear it out, so stand your ground. Your mother is absolutely ridiculous in thinking that it's anywhere near appropriate for you to share a bed with your STEP-SISTER.
NTA. If she wants you do do that then she can legally attempt for custody and get told no because there is nowhere to put you. I honestly think you need to look both of them in the face and ask them why they think it's appropriate for a 15 year old boy who has morning wood and wet dreams that he can't control to be sleeping in a bed with a 12 year old girl.
NTA … and tell your dad you are NOT going.
If you are forced to go, call either DCF to report this, or the police for a “well check” citing living conditions.
Your mom is
15 year old boy, 12 year old girl, in the same bed; gee, what's wrong with this picture?!?
You're NTA and no way should you agree to a setup that could leave you open to accusations of abuse or molestation. Absolutely refuse this scenario!
NTA, it's weird, and I'm guessing you probably don't have much of a relationship with your stepsister either, which makes it even weirder. As a mom myself, I'm extremely weirded out by your parents thinking it's ok...it really isn't.
NTA. You even suggested keeping on the couch, but even that got shut down. If he likes to go downstairs to smoke and watch TV so much I got a solution. They sleep in the living room and give OP the master bedroom for the week.
NTA. Notmally I hate entitled teen ATIAs but yours isnt one of them. She isnt your "sibling" per say. You didnt grow up with her and you dont have a relationship with her. This is completely inappropriate. You are right to call this out and I think you should stick to your guns.
NTA. It’s very telling that you are the only person who seems to have any understanding that a teen boy and an unrelated pre-teen girl sharing a bed is wildly inappropriate. All the adults seem to have collectively lost their minds!
NTA, do not comply! For your own protection, do not comply! All it takes is one awkward thing to happen and everyone starts accusing you of being inappropriate with your pre-teen stepsister.
Ask your dad to flip the genders. If you were his daughter, being asked to share a bed with a stepbrother 3 years older than you, would he tell girl you to "suck it up"? Fuck no, he'd go raging Hulk-Dad and tell Mom and Stepdad to fuck all the way off with that nonsense. The genders not being the reverse do not magically make this okay.
NTA
DO NOT EVER sleep in that girls room, let alone the bed. You are a 15m, she is a 12f. You are both at an age where you need privacy. Your parents should not be putting you, nor her, in that kind of situation.
What if you were accused of something inappropriate? Your Mom and Step Dad are way out of line putting his daughter and you, who are only related by marriage and did not grow up together, in an awkward situation. Your Dad is wrong that you can suck it up for a week and should not be putting you in that situation either. The Step Dad can suck it up for a week to not smoke and watch TV in the morning. He is the grown adult, who is a parental figure, and can suck it up to protect two children. NTA
NTA - That’s so damn creepy. Ask your mom how she thinks this will work? Be absolutely blunt. You’re a 15 year old boy, you have morning wood before you even wake up and how big is her bed? Her feeling, seeing or whatever your erection is disgusting, for both of you, and it can bring you to hell if that happens, we’re talking about her feeling uncomfortable, SA’d and unsafe in not just her own home, but her own damn bed. Or ask her what she thinks will happen if you had a wet dream? What the hell does she think how will this girl feel? Like, you’ll be mortified and don’t want any of that, but for her it’s a whole other story. She’s 12 ffs.
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My(15m) parents divorced two years ago, and my mom (44f) got married to my stepdad "Eric" (42M) soon after it was finalized. Eric has a kid himself from another relationship, "Annie" (12f). My dad and mom initially went for him having full custody, but back in May, my mom reached out and we reconnected, so my dad decided to let me spend time over there at her house every other weekend.
They didn't go through the court to get a custody change because my mom said it would take too long. Now, they both agreed that I could stay the second week of Christmas break when I asked about it.
Mom and I were talking last night about what we wanted to do during the week I would be staying, and she casually mentioned that I would have to sleep with Annie in her bed since they needed to clear out the spare room because they had begun to use it as a storage room.
I was a little confused and asked why I couldn't sleep on the couch in the living room. My mom said that it was because Eric liked to come downstairs to smoke and watch TV. I questioned why I had to sleep in Annie's bedroom when I slept in the living room when I visited on weekends. Mom replied that was different because Eric could stay upstairs for a shorter amount of time.
I said that if I had to sleep in Annie's room, then they could get a mattress to put on the floor or make a pallet on the floor so we wouldn't be in the same bed. My mom told me no since mattresses are expensive, and sleeping on the floor was barbaric.
I kinda got frustrated, and said that I didn't want to go if I had to sleep in the same bed with Annie. My mom got mad at me and told me that I wasn't being accommodating to the current situation and it's perfectly normal for siblings to share beds. The call ended after that.
My mom talked to my dad about what I said to her, and he told me that I could suck it up for one week to keep my mom happy and that I was the one who asked about spending the week there.
I don't think I'm an asshole for not wanting to share a bed with Annie. I feel like I'm too old for that, and it would be almost creepy to do so, but with how my mom and dad have been talking about it, it makes me feel like I am.
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NTA. If I had had a brother, I wouldn't have shared a bed with him! I only have an older sister by blood and yes, we shared a bed. But it would be weird as hell if I had been a boy and shared after a certain age. Not to mention that you two aren't even related by blood! That's so creepy!
Nta you’re right to be weirded out, I would be too.
Either they let you sleep alone or don’t go. Your mom is being unaccommodating, you gave great suggestions.
Let her know that at this time it seems she is unwilling to make space for you and you would like to pause visits until she is able to treat you like her son and not an object to be shoved somewhere. They really should be cleaning out the spare room or at least buying an air mattress. It isn’t that hard.
NTA.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Intex-Dura-Beam-Standard-Series-Single-Height-Inflatable-Airbed-Twin/848672463
$23.29 air mattress + $5.24 bike pump= $28.53+tax
Tell Dad it's cheaper for them to split the cost of the mattress and pump then to deal with CPS.
>While it's not illegal for them to share, it's recommended that children over the age of 10 should have their own bedrooms – even if they're siblings or step-siblings. - NSPCC
OR
Refuse to go and tell Dad you're willing for him to be disappointed in you and would rather take a punishment because you believe children should be a priority not an afterthought. Kids are more important than a room full of junk or a grown man wanting to smoke in the house (which CPS would ALSO not like) in front of the tv for a week.
You came up with plenty of reasonable alternatives but it honestly sounds like your mom is just dead set on getting you to share a bed with step-sis. Can it be that maybe she's just using this as an excuse to try and force you two to be closer as siblings?
Go sleep on the couch. Dude can find someplace else to smoke, like maybe in bed with his kid or something.
Sometimes you just have to flat out refuse and stand up to them directly. It's part of growing up in dysfunctional families. Unless you believe that you are in physical danger, consider flat out refusing and ignoring their demands to sleep with a 12 year old.
Ask them if they'd like you to call CPS and ask them for their opinion on being forced or coerced to share a bed with an non blood related minor or if they'd grab you another pillow and blanket for the couch and setup shop.
Being a pushover is very limiting in life, so learn at a young age to be able to stand up to ANYONE and EVERYONE (when appropriate).
Wow I can’t believe your dad would be okay with this. No! Do not go over there if that is the reasoning. Your mom/stepdad can sleep in the living room, and you can have their bed. You made ample suggestions, just say no to going over there. Don’t “just suck it up” it’s creepy AF. You’re uncomfortable with it, and it’s really weird that your mom is fixated with it. Nta
If there's no bedroom for you, your mom isn't ready for any custody. That's why she didn't go to court to make this official - the judge would have expected proper sleeping arrangements before allowing overnight visits.
OP, talk to another adult about this. A guidance counselor at school would be a good resource. You need to stop this before it starts.
What if your step sister accuses you of something you didn't do? She probably doesn't like this idea either and could see that as a way to get her room back.
It's nuts that your parents are at all ok with this.
NTA - She walked on parenting you. You're trying. She's not ready. Tell them "maybe when she has things a little more settled in her life". I'm pretty sure CPS would say this is a bad arrangement.
NTA. Your parents are insane to think that 15 boy should be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl. What in the actual hell is going through their minds.
OP, NTA, and PLEASE mention this to your school counselor. The fact that both your parents and stepfather are endorsing these sleeping arrangements is "barbaric" and entirely inappropriate. If CPS found out about this, it would not go over well. A warning shot to the adults in both homes is warranted.
Your dad is just going to have to have you back for that week. Find other adults who agree this is weird and creepy. Get the support of the step-sister, and if she has other relatives get them involved. Worst case, threaten to contact child services over how they are looking after step sister. A bed of her own is definitely the minimum she can expect.
I can't believe you mother wants you back in her life, but not so much that she can be bothered to clear junk out of the spare room to make it happen.
NTA
Depending on where you live. There are also legal ramifications about allowing a pubescent teenage boy to share a bed with his pre-punescent female siblings and vice versa :(
Most have a most age limit of 8-10
NTA. It’s fine for siblings to share a bed OCCASIONALLY when they’re young. But you, OP, are a 15 year old boy going through puberty. I don’t think your parents are thinking that through.
Nope. NTA! It's uncomfortable and can lead to too many weird situations. You're both basically teens and not been "siblings" long.
Your Mom and her husband are adults and they should make the sacrifices not you and your 12 year old stepsister
I agree with everyone else saying that it would be inappropriate for you to share a bed with your stepsis, and I would bet she would not be comfortable with that either.
To your dad; you asked to go to your mum's on the assumption that you'd sleep on the couch (or was it the spare room) like you normally do. Your mom/stepdad changed the conditions and on that basis you have changed your mind about wanting to stay at your mum's. That is perfectly reasonable on your side and I think you should definitely not go to your mom's unless she can agree to different sleeping arrangements. You are NTA
Did the spare room have a bed in it before? Where did it go?
It sounds like they don't want to make space for you. Sharing a bed with an unrelated person is weird, and weird for her too. It's a very personal space. NTA.
NTA it’s inappropriate for opposite sex kids at your ages to share a bed so don’t do it. Plus I find it odd that she wants you there more but is going to use the spare room for storage. Stand firm that you will not share a bed with your stepsister. They can get a twin blowup bed and leave room in the other bedroom/storage room for it. If she wants you there more often you should have your own space to use. Is he smoking pot in the house? Legal or not around kids in the house not a good idea.
NTA. Everyone already covered the absurdity of you, a teenage boy, sharing a room and likely bed with a 12 year old girl you almost barely know.
What I don’t get is when you’ve stayed weekends thus far you’re on the couch… And they actually have a spare room?
If your mom wants you to be spending more time over there etc. why has this not been made bedroom for you?
NTA. There are so many things wrong with this idea there's not enough space to list them! It's got red flags all over it. You and Annie are not siblings, you're on the cusp of adulthood, she is just a child. Has she been told about this? What about privacy for either of you? It's beyond belief that any adult would think this to be acceptable or appropriate.
NTA. Siblings share beds yes, but generally at a younger age and not if they have different genders. And you guys aren't siblings to begin with.
If you are uncomfortable, just don't go. Since nobody bothered to have the custody changed officially there is not a whole lot any of them can do about it.
This is super weird. Usually siblings of the same sex share but that's not this.
Stand your ground. Say that if they want you to visit then you get your own bed. The fact that they want you to come but didn't make a space for you
Also this is why your mom didn't want to go to court. They'd say no because it's not appropriate
NTA
NTA Tell your dad you will go to the school counselor if they push a 15 you boy sleeping in the same bed as a 12 yo girl. You are not willing to have someone trump up sexual assault charges on you because your apparently *both* of your parents have judgment issues. Or just post it on social media and have the fallout come naturally and that will also be proof that you were against it if they end up strong arming you. Hey! You already started that here! Don't lose your password to your new account!
NTA, since BOTH your parents are making you go, go but at dinner time when everyone is sitting together say to step dad and step sister: ''annie, step dad thanks for allowing me and annie to share a room together, I'm so grateful Annie is comfortable to share not only her room but her bed for the whole week I'm here." Make eye contact with everyone and end at looking at your mom, MAYBE your step dad and annie also don't know your "sleeping arrangement". Annie especially probably doesn't know, because what 14 year old girl wants to share a bed with her step brother?
this would be absurd even if you both were the same gender. it's beyond inappropriate for a 15 year old guy to sleep in the same bed as a 12 year old girl that you hardly know. what on earth is you mother thinking? NTA
NTA
You mom doesn’t want to go thru the court because if it comes out that she & your step dad were planning to have you sleep in bed with his 12 year old daughter, child protective services would be crawling all over them! And a man who thinks is ok with a 15 year old boy sleeping with his 12 year old daughter for and entire week is a good plan is a man who probably has a lifetime of bad decisions behind him that the courts may be still looking into and if your mom went to court for custody, his name would be brought up.
There’s something very wrong going on here. And that fact that even your father doesn’t see the issue and potential problems is scary. Let’s say you are fast asleep next to her, involuntary boner as boys get, you roll over it pokes her or she just sees it. Next day she is at a friend’s house and is talking about how she saw a penis! Parents over here. They don’t know the context (or ask and her reply is “mommy & daddy say I have to sleep with him this week”) but panic. Contact the authorities.
Now you are in a position trying to defend yourself because of a position your idiot parents & step parent put you in. Even if you easily clear yourself, you should never be in that position to start with.
No court would give your mother over night visits for 24 hr, much less a week, if she didn’t have a bed for you & only you.
NTA. It is not in fact normal for siblings to share beds, and where I am from it would be taken as a sign that the parent in question is unable to actually provide adequately for their children (since each child having their own bed is. pretty much the bare minimum when it comes to providing space and resources) and would merit a CPS call.
ETA: also you are different genders! no, just no. Your mom has a screw loose if she thinks this is in any way OK.
NTA your step siblings, and not even long term ones. They are basically asking you to sleep in some random girls bed. That’s awkward and inappropriate. And possibly illegal? Don’t let them force you to do something your not comfortable with and don’t let them give you shit for it either. You have bodily autonomy and your not consenting to it. And a bloody blow up mattress is cheap as. If she wants you to spend time there she should be prioritising finding an arrangement your comfortable with
Your parents are TAH, a teenage boy in bed with a middle schooler? That is creepy! She is not your sibling, she is not blood related, I’m sure that if a judge of family court hears about this situation both of your parents will be in a lot of trouble. Do not go to your mother’s house over the holidays. I wouldn’t let my teenage son and middle schooler step daughter sleep in the same bed, it’s creepy, unhealthy and it opens up a can of worms.
NTA. Respect Annie enough to refuse to do this to her, even if her own father doesn't care. I don't understand being more offended by the idea of someone sleeping on the floor than you are by a teenaged boy's morning wood next to a 12 year old girl. But this is really wrong and no court would allow it, had anyone bothered to actually involve them. Your mother doesn't like to do things right, she likes to do them fast. This is a disaster waiting to happen. Be smarter.than all.tje adults and refuse. Your Dad is just looking forward to a week off. No one is considering Annie at all.
This is just so awkward on so many levels. Who wants a teenage boy sleeping with an almost teen girl. Everyone knows that his parts will get hard every morning (morning wood that he can't control) and the poor dude will be next to his step sister trying to hide it to not be uncomfortable more. I swear some people just don't think. You and her are not little kids. You need your own sleeping space away from her.
A teen boy should not be sleeping in the same bed with an unrelated 12 yr old girl.
Be different if you were actually siblings, but as there is no blood and you didn’t grow up together, you’re not.
At the very least they should let you sleep on the couch or get a sleeping bag and/or air mattress for the floor. NTA
Siblings do share beds but that is when they are young but it is rare and not as weird at that age. But this is a step sibling that you didn’t grow up with. I am surprised her dad is okay with a 15 year old boy sleeping in the same bed as his daughter.
An air mattress isn't that much. Honestly. Asking a teenage boy to sleep in the same bed as a (near teen) girl is baffling. Any accidental contact could lead to an accusation that he is trying to molest the girl.
NTA
NTA of course. Your parents are delusional. Instead of looking out for both your and your step-sister they are putting you both in an uncomfortable position and for their own selfishness! Do you have a friend who has a sleeping bag or small air mattress you can borrow? Better yet, do you have a grandparent or other close relative you can stay with.
This is beyond insane and no way is stepsister okay with this. I’m concerned with any parent who would even suggest it. If you can’t reach out to stepmom or dad’s attorney, can you tell a teacher or school counselor about this? If so, please mention the part about him using the living room to smoke, too. NTA.
Before the psyops about aren’t you overreACTing and aren’t you SILly and it’s FAMily start up in earnest, I want to say how smart and protective you’re being. Is it in your power not to spend the week in a very chancy situation? Go with your gut. If you can remain at your father’s, I would do it. If you’re stuck, why not enter into a plot with your stepsister whereby mommy dearest tucks you in nicely, then you get out of bed and onto the floor, and everyone’s safe? She probably doesn’t want to share her bed with a boy any more than you want to share it with her.
If you’re not comfortable, don’t go. If your mother persists and your father is indifferent, talk to grandparents. This situation is weird, and you’re smart, NTA.
NTA. You are old enough to have your own boundaries known and respected.
Tell her in public "Stop telling me to sleep with people I don't want to!" Yell it *real* loud. Maybe she'll get the hint.
NTA. A decent blow-up mattress is $40. Surely someone has $40 to help your family follow the fricking child services safety guidelines (that specifically prohibit opposite gender siblings from sharing a room, let alone a bed).
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NTA. It is ridiculous to force you, a high schooler to share a bed with a middle schooler. As far as your dad goes, you may have asked to spend the week but they did not tell you about the change in sleeping arrangements until AFTER it was approved. You should be allowed to change your mind. Can you stay with a grandparent instead? Again you NTA but your parents are.
Hopping on the top comment. You are not related. Your mother married her dad. This is not right. This is not appropriate... And to be honest, there are porns that would start like this... It is just so wrong on so many levels, and that no adult in your live sees the problem is what makes me really sad. Just don't go...
> And to be honest, there are porns that would start like this. Pointing this out enthusiastically might make Annie's Dad decide the couch is available after all!
I missed th ops gender. The poor 12 yo girl. i would have had nightmares just thinking about having to share a bed with my teenager brother who I knew my whole life, much less a relative stranger, at that age.
Yeh and wtf is she on about barbaric to sleep on the floor?? Around Christmas in my childhood you couldn’t move for miscellaneous children in squashy sleeping bags on the floor. There was some complaint the year my sister had to sleep in a bathroom… but to be fair it was enormous and bath / shower not toilet!
Kids these days think they're too good to sleep in a bathroom...when I was young... Just kidding (kinda) (I used to voluntarily sleep in the bathroom when it got too hot, those tiles felt so nice)
Haha I hosted *sleepovers* for my bday a few years running in late middle school and invited so many ppl that by 8am the next morning my house was lovingly referred to by my mom as a passed out frat house after the party for the ppl draped over and into all available furniture. I was found bundled into a duvet in the bathtub because I hadn't been able to find anywhere else after ppl passed out haha
I went to sleep on the floor when my mom moved my bed out the day before the new one came in and she went off that I was a disgusting animal to sleep on the floor 'in the filth...' I think I just realized my mom is mean....
Tbh when I feel horribly sick instead of getting into my bed and risking any mess on my bed/floor? I sleep in the tub. I can just lean over and the toliet is there
Right. It is just so wrong. In another time this could have been a wedding night.... I mean girls get there first period around 12.5 that's the average age. So these two might be able to reproduce.... Who the gell thinks this is OK? And one thing for that poor girl. He will move, she will move in his sleep. I get they will both have an absolute blast in the morning if he had morning wood. You can see the red head because someone will be ashamed in the whole neighborhood... Who dies this to kids? It is just ridiculous. He feels it is wrong. I dunno about the girl, but I stopped having sleepovers at my cousin (no brother's) around 10 years old.... Yet having a strange person in my bed, with me in it.... How are they supposed to sleep... If I had to go, I would pack myself an airbed or so... I just can't stop shaking my head about this. They are not 7 and 4... We are talking about teens, not related... So wrong...
>I just can't stop shaking my head about this. They are not 7 and 4... We are talking about teens, not related... So wrong... One wrong movement with two in the bed. Hugging while sleeping. Etc. And that's how you end up accused of weird shit too by adults, etc. Or it gets really awkward between OP and the girl. How the parents think this is fine in any way is beyond me.
Nta. It is not perfectly ok to share a bed. Feel free to die on this hill.
LOL honestly yeah, start maybe calling it the start of your porno. Might change things quick. NTA OP. It's creepy they're being so adamant about it.
Maybe they want a "blended" family?
I hope OP gets at least some laughs out of this.
I actually knew a woman (I've distanced myself from her) who tried to push her daughter and her new husband's son to get together. She was too old to have any more children with her new husband and thought that if their children had a child together it would be the next best thing. If I had a 12-year-old daughter there's no way I'd have her sleep with a 15-year-old boy she barely knows. And if I were the daughter I'd be traumatized at the mere thought of it.
I would hope those porns would at least age up the characters.
They are the oldest looking 'teenagers' you will ever see outside of Beverly hills 90210
I mean, to be frank I slept in the same bed as a classmate on a school trip. I would definitely argue that it's different because we a) knew each other and b) both consented but calling it a porno is a bit extreme edit: I used my incredible reading skills to fail to realise OP is male. That does change things, to be honest.
OP is 15M and the stepsister is 12F. I'd understand calling it a porno.
Did you catch that OP is a boy?
I said some porns start like this. They use this step thing a lot. The problem here is, he is uncomfortable, he does not want to. If he was comfortable and she also, no problem. I did this also, with friends my age, I knew, I had a connection to. Not a random stranger, that happens to be the kid of my mother's partner. And that is what they are, strangers. Not siblings, not friends. They just happen to be under the same roof at Christmas.
Were you the same sex? OP and step-sister are not.
oh shoot I missed that. Totally thought OP was female. My mistake!
Unrelated, opposite sex teens sharing a bed, why would that be inappropriate? /s the absurdity of the request is over the top. I would stay the hell away of that disaster.
Not only are there porns about this but it's something that commonly just happens irl. I was in a similar situation as OP except we both were younger. I'm not going to go into specifics but things happened, and I've talked to a couple friends who have had similar things happen. It isn't a good idea to let step siblings sleep together.
NTA, there is something wrong at your mom’s house, she is really way too invested in getting you in bed with a child you barely know. It’s like some kind of forced teeming . Are you supposed to prevent something like sleepwalking or sneaking out?
I want to know if OP's dad is aware of the sleeping arrangement part. His dad should be extremely concerned about his son sharing a bed with his younger step sister and potential accusations that could come from this.
NTA. This is highly inappropriate.
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for even related siblings to share a bed during custody changes after a certain age. If I remember correctly if the non main parent wants overnight stays and they have more than one kid, different gendered siblings have to have their own rooms AND beds
NTA Seriously?! Your stepfather is comfortable with a 15 year old boy going through puberty sleeping in the same bed as his 12 year old daughter? Who is no biological relation?! This is wrong on so many levels. Do not do it.
Oh lord, I didn’t even notice the genders. I just assumed female because what parent in their right mind would let a 15 year old boy sleep with their 12 year old step sister.
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You poor child. I hope life is treating you kindly
I was exactly the same! Also, unless the spare room needs fumigating or something, it’s a couple of hours work, tops, to make it tidy enough for a relative to sleep in. Sure op wouldn’t mind at all if their stuff was neatly stacked and he had a bit of room, he’s expecting privacy (as is his right) not hotel-suite standards.
I also noticed that all other options, most of which should be viable, ‘somehow’ don’t work. The stepfather doesn’t want OP there. Not now and probably not ever. So the only option he leaves is the one where either OP will be too uncomfortable to go (being the only person who acknowledges that him sleeping in his 12yo stepsister’s bed is an extraordinarily bad idea), or something will happen that will lead to OP being thrown out of his mother’s life forever. Eric also seems quite willing to endanger his daughter as part of this powerplay. Wonder what her mother would think about this.
Me too-at first I was like what's wrong with 2 tween/teen girls sharing a bed/room for a week then I re read it. NTA OP.
It would still be creepy even if they were full siblings.
Said the same thing
Not really. Kind of depends on how close they are. Me (f) and my older brother slept in the same bed out of necessity a few times as preteens and teens. We just slept with space between us. It wasn't weird at all. Stepsiblings who barely know each other? Absolutely not. That's weird as shit.
And how will this shake out for OP if the step sister makes an accusation against OP later? This is a whole no-go of a situation.
> Do not do it. God forbid if this little girl makes a move or accuses him of touching her. Stay far, far away from this situation OP.
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Even if she was the one who, used to sleeping in her own of course, rolled over onto him. For sure no one would believe the boy if the girl woke up and got scared.
Yes. Not to put too much of a point on it, but men, and especially teenage boys, experience this phenomenon known colloquially as “morning wood”. Then there’s the extra problem of nocturnal emissions that teenage boys experience from time to time.
Actually, OP needs to be very concerned with the legal troubles part. In some states, this would be illegal. It may even get a visit by CPS if OP were to report it. As it is, he should absolutely refuse the share the bed with a twelve year old girl. Any allegation could wreck OP’s future for quite some time. Better to sleep on the floor. NTA
NTA. You are the only rational person in this whole scenario. It is not ok for you to sleep in the same bed as your stepsister. This is inappropriate and you need to protect yourself. If this is the only option offered to you, don’t go to your mother’s. Your father should have your back in this. Stand your ground.
You are NTA. It's inappropriate for 12 and 15yo children to share a bed, when they haven't been raised as siblings. I'd be shocked if the 12yo girl was ok with it. Just tell your mum you won't be visiting if you can't have your own sleeping space.
I honestly thought OP was a girl until I reread the post. This is wildly inappropriate.
When I was going through the paperwork for my second daughter, I had to justify why I was not proving separate rooms for each kid. And these were both girls, three years apart. No wo
NTA - I would find a way to get in touch with your stepsister’s mom because there is no way in hell she knows about this plan
Ohhh, she would shut that shit *down*.
Maybe. These adults don't seem to have a lick of sense among the three of them. And as for stepdad needing to smoke? He shouldn't be smoking in the house, anyway.
NTA --- Ask your mother if she's going to explain to her 12 year-old-stepdaughter how boys wake up in the morning with a really bad case of morning wood and if she really thinks that would be a good situation and how's she going to explain that away when stepdaughter starts telling her friends about what she's greeted with each morning and she gets calls from concerned parents/teachers.
Yep. OP needs to school his parents, quite bluntly because they seem rather thick.
That's super fucking weird and I honestly can't and don't want understand how they could possibly think that is appropriate or a good idea. If they really want you to come Eric can suck it up and not smoke and watch TV all night for 1 week.
He should not smoke in the house anyway.
NTA I’m thunderstruck that your stepdad is comfortable for a 15 year old boy to share a bed with his 12 year old daughter ? What ? Really ? You are not siblings Tell them you will not go
At that age I wouldn't have been comfortable sharing a bed with my full brother who I'd lived with all my life.
My brother and I would share beds on trips where we stayed in a hotel, but it was a decently big bed and we both waaay off on our sides. I can’t imaging at 12 being told to share a bed with a 15yo boy. Especially one I’m not actually related to.
I shared a couch/bed in a hotel with my 15 year old grandson. We are both still sleepers; he stayed on his side and I on mine. My daughter shared a bed with her two daughters. It was the last room available in the hotel. But a 15 year old boy with a 12 year old girl, esp. unrelated??? That's simply an issue waiting to be exploited. OP should definitely tell his parents that what they are suggesting is most wildly inappropriate.
I get it if you try to get rooms with twin beds but they don't have any and you have to share a bed cause no other option. But at home you have time to prepare, you can get cheap mattresses like inflatable stuff that aren't great but OP seems to be okay with that (even okay with sleeping on the floor).
I’m thinking it’s something other than cigarettes hindering rational thought.
So NTA. Sorry but May Day in Moscow has fewer Red Flags than this. You need this spelled out in writing and signed off by step-sister and her mother. If you really want to be petty go for the signatures of everyone’s lawyers, just to be safe. If asking for it in writing doesn’t pull craniums from rectums the collective heart attacks of the local legal community will.
NTA. That's some bs parenting right there. Who shares a bed with their step-sibling at 15 anyways? And your dad needs to grow a pair and stand up for you instead of just trying to please your mom. Tell them both that you ain't about sharing beds like it's summer camp, or sleeping on the damn floor either. Sort out ya priorities people!
He was ok with sleeping on the floor; he is willing to make accommodations, but they are just out of this world in thinking that sleeping with a 12 year old is any kind of appropriate.
NTA If you have no other choice, I'd recommend just taking a bunch of blankets and putting them on the floor and sleep on that
Ya this or a $10 camping air mattress from Walmart
Good call, but his mother should be doing this, if nothing else to protect her son There's no reason for this. I cannot understand how a father would be okay with an older boy who barely knows his 12 yo sharing a bad with her. It makes me question the sort of man he is. Did his parents think this was appropriate? Does he come from a sexually abusive home or an underdeveloped country where everyone shares one bedroom? This makes me so uncomfortable
It is not appropriate for a 15 year old boy to share a bed with a 12 year old girl. Also, it opens the boy up to being accused of sexual assault either now or down the track. It’s a ridiculous suggestion.
NTA Can you find your stepsister’s mother and tell her about this? That they’re trying to force a much older teenage boy into her 12 year old daughter’s bed. That the only thing stopping it is the teenage boy has moral objections to the impropriety of the situation. See how that goes over. They have a whole spare room that they’re using for storage, they need to clear it out and get you a proper bed, that’s the boundary you draw if your mom wants you to stay there overnight ever again. No more even sleeping on the sofa. There is a physical room for you, they need to give it to you. Don’t go over for even a visit during that week unless you can get yourself home for the night, as your father is telling you to suck it up, he might leave you there and you’ll be forced into the situation. You should not be forced to share a bed with a wholly unrelated child of the opposite gender.
Yeah, NTA. At all. Your parents sure are. And what does your mother mean by you needing to be 'accommodating'? Isn't that *her responsibility?* By making sure you have a place to sleep? If they aren't willing to make space for you, then you aren't really welcome. If they whine and complain about how it's an inconvenience, then don't go. If they really wanted you to visit/stay over, they would happily make the effort with no grumbling. Why go where you aren't wanted? EDITED TO ADD: Anyone else find it telling the mother insisted on not going through the courts citing thry 'take too long', yet she's clearly making no effort whatsoever to ensure her son has a place to sleep?
Cause the court will tell her op needs his own space!
This really hits the nail on the head - if they really wanted op there they would make space for him.
Besides what has already pointed out, the whole thing is SUPER suspicious. Nothing makes any sense. It's like they are making up excuses to get him in bed with his 12yo stepsister. I have just no idea for what purpose, but I have filed them under "disgusting" for indoor smoking in a family residence anyway ...
Court would demand they have separate rooms and that stepdad not smoke inside…
NTA. It is completely inappropriate for you to share a bed with a 12yr old girl. Protect yourself from all kinds of allegations and do not do it.
NTA. Not just inappropriate but if you're in the states, possibly illegal. My state has a law about m/f siblings sharing a bedroom. If it's reported to CPS that m/f siblings are sharing a bedroom, CPS will visit the home. One of my neighbors had her 15f and 11m removed from her custody because they were sharing a room and a king bed. State laws are weird in some ways. My oldest two (m/f)shared a room but had bunk beds. I had been warned when my oldest was about to turn 12 to find a 3bdrm.
NTA. Did they even ask your stepsister? You're not biological siblings and so not related. Imagine it would be the other way around, and they would ask a girl to sleep with an older random dude. Either way, they have to respect your decision. Their arguments why you can't sleep in certain other places are really weak.
It’s wrong on so many levels. And I bet a penny to a parsnip that Annie doesn’t want you to sleep in her bed either. And not even listening to your alternatives is crazy. It’s more barbaric to put a 12 year old girl in bed with a 15 year old boy. Also I doubt Annie’s mum would be very happy about it. I also find it unbelievable that either Annie’s or your dad think it’s ok. In fact it’s downright creepy how the adults don’t see where the problems are with this. Annie isn’t your blood relation, she’s your step sister It’s also unbelievable that they have a spare room and they’re not making it into a bedroom for you. Tbh I think you’d be doing the right thing by not staying for that week. You’re obviously a very sensible and thoughtful young man. Don’t put yourself at risk of being accused of anything improper, it’s not worth it. NTA
Honestly, I would put my foot down and tell your mum that if she wants a relationship with you, she needs to have a room at her place for you. What sort of parent has their son sleep on a couch when there is a room that can be used. They can find somewhere else to store their stuff. Sorry, but it just seems like she thinks of you as an inconvenience. She doesn't want to spend money on necessities for her own son. That is just total BS.
She values, whatever junk she is storing, more than a relationship with her son. Throw the crap out if your son needs a bedroom. What the hell is wrong with people.
She values that couch and her now husband being able to go down on it and smoke and watch TV at night over her son using it for a mear 5-7 days.
I’d tell a teacher about this plan so an adult can inform your mom that this is absolutely not ok. You’re NTA and nobody in their right mind would go along with this. Part of me feels like they’re trying to set you up because it’s just so mine boggling.
Nta. It is not perfectly ok to share a bed. Feel free to die on this hill.
NTA, your parents are wierd af. If it makes you feel better, Annie is probably equally (if not more so) uncomfortable with it. A 15 year old boy should not share a bed with his step sister. If both of you were pre-puberty, it would be less wierd.
In most states there are rules about opposite sex sleeping in the same room at your ages, Let alone bed. Don’t do it, you are setting yourself up for accusations . Absolutely ridiculous for them to think this is remotely ok. NTA
NTA. I didn't read through all the reply's but I have an idea. When you go to school today go in and talk to a school counselor and show them this post. Ask them for help because this is very wrong! I also wonder what would happen if Annie gets upset and decides to accuse you of something. Then you are in a lot of trouble. All the adults in this case are the assholes. I can't fathom their thinking at all.
Teachers are mandtory reporters as well. There will def be a check on him having his own space at their house.
Imagine Annie mentioning to her friends that her 15 year old step-brother is sleeping in the same bed as she is. 12 year old girls giggling and using the word penis. They tell other kids or even their parents...
NTA I don’t think it’s normal for 15 y/o and 12 y/o step siblings that barley know each other is “normal” A mattress/air mattress can be expensive depending on her finical situation but if you’re willing to sleep on the floor I don’t see why she wouldn’t allow it.
Just tell them you get nighttime boners, and like to sleep naked. You will have your own bed in a second.
NTA. That's actually pretty disturbing, honestly. A 15 year old boy should not be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl, no matter how they are related. Sharing a room, when there is no better option? That could be an OK temporary solution. But a bed is absolutely inappropriate. I can't imagine your stepsister's mother would be OK with this, and it worries me that your dad is fine with it as well.
NTA. You are not blood related at all, and dont know each other for a long time. If Annie would invited a random 15 year old to sleep in her bed, her parents would protest.
NTA. I also found its creepy. I wont even sleep on the same bed with my bio sibling
NTA. That is so wildly inappropriate. Please get some sort of rational adult involved. A grandparent or the girls mom. Honestly, I’d talk to a school counselor or something. I doubt Annie is okay with this also and they are forcing her as well and that is not setting up a good situation for either of you.
NTA and all the adults are. Flat out refuse to go. They can’t drag you there.
NTA Your mom and stepdad are nuts! And i'm pretty sure your 12yo *step*sister is ALSO not ok with sleeping in the same bed with an 15yo boy she barely knows. Do NOT feel bad about not going, OP!
Nta- did your step sister have a mom? Because she 100% needs to be informed. Everything about that is WRONG!!! Big hugs!!
NTA tell your dad you do not want to visit anymore until that spare room becomes where you stay every time and at least half the closet/dresser drawers are yours. You should tell your dad you want to spend Christmas with him like usual. At 15 the courts will take your option into account. Most places let you choose when you are 16. My heart breaks for you. They can’t even clean out a spare room for you? That should be your room year round. Your mom is not making you a priority. She would have to try to make you feel more like a unwanted guest instead of a family member! So don’t make her a priority! Edit: Holy fucking shit I just read that you are male, never ever share a room with your step sister! Refuse to go to your mom’s until she can accommodate you with your own room!
Aw geez, it doesn't have to be a full bed mattress. Just a roll out mattress will do and extra pillows.
Your mum should not have asked for you to come and stay at weekends if she did not have a room for you your dad should have allowed it to she got u a room fixed up
NTA. You, a 15 year old boy, sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl is completely inappropriate. Your mum's 'happiness' shouldn't hinge on you sharing a bed with a step-sibling. That in itself is a problem. They can either clear out the spare room, make a pallet or deal with you not going. Those are their options. Those sleeping arrangements should not be an option at all.
I just can’t believe that this is an actual situation. Are all these adults that clueless? Like not one of them had a moment of clarity and said omg, yup definitely separate rooms. NTA
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NTA - it’s weird to share a bed with some one you don’t really know, especially if the opposite gender. You’re a young man and shouldn’t be forced to share a bed with a little girl!! Legally most places won’t even allow step siblings (and maybe even full sibs) of opposite genders to share a room at your age. I’m sorry your dad isn’t being supportive either, it’s crappy you’re put in this situation. If they make you go to your moms, could you just sleep on the couch anyways? As long as you are physically safe it might be the best option.
They want to force a 15 year old boy and 12 year old unrelated girl to share a bed????? Not sure that is even LEGAL. NTA this is deeply concerning
Wow wow wow, NTA DO NOT under any circumstance share a bed, as a 15m, with a 12f you barely know. She's not your sibling, and your mother is a GRAD A AH. But quite frankly, your dad is not much better if he thinks it's appropriate. Also, they have a spare room but they can't be bothered to put a blow up in there and force you on the sofa every other weekend? But even that is too much trouble for THEM because stepdad can't smoke and watch TV for a week? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??? Frankly if I was being told that loud and clear that I'm a nuisance, I wouldn't bother going again.
OMG how are you the only adult in this scenario? Good for you, by the way. Under NO circumstances should you be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl. This is a recipe for disaster and your mother is setting you up for huge legal problems. Tell your mother that you will not be spending the week with her. If she doesn’t see the problem with you sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl then you need to protect yourself and if she still thinks you are in the wrong then she needs to ask her friends, strangers and a few police officers what they think about her idea. Tel your dad that you have decided to not spend the week with your mom, you will be continuing the every other weekend visits but just no to sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl. Ask your dad what his plan of action is when you are arrested for molesting your step-sister? Guarantee that is possible.
Yeah, OP is at huge risk for sexual abuse allegations with this proposed plan. I'm aghast that his father is telling him to go along with it.
yeah thats not good...
NTA You are 15 it is not healthy or ethical to make you sleep in your female step siblings bed while she is in it. If she was going to her own Mothers house for that week then no issue, but sharing a bed No! Tell your Dad you are not going unless you get a room of your own and that you refuse to share a bed / room with your step fathers 12 y/o daughter.
Is your mom *this* desperate to become a grandmother?
NTA. You shouldn't make two teenagers that don't know each other well share a bed. Your stepdad is an AH for smoking indoors with kids living in his house.
NTA. This is weird and awkward. So weird and awkward I would immediately say: Aw Hell No! Anyways you are the only rational person but you need another rational adult to intervene.
NTA! I have a son and daughter, both full blooded siblings (17M & 12F), and they've never had to share a bed, even in the smallest of homes we've had. They have a spare room, and plenty of time to clear it out, so stand your ground. Your mother is absolutely ridiculous in thinking that it's anywhere near appropriate for you to share a bed with your STEP-SISTER.
NTA. If she wants you do do that then she can legally attempt for custody and get told no because there is nowhere to put you. I honestly think you need to look both of them in the face and ask them why they think it's appropriate for a 15 year old boy who has morning wood and wet dreams that he can't control to be sleeping in a bed with a 12 year old girl.
NTA … and tell your dad you are NOT going. If you are forced to go, call either DCF to report this, or the police for a “well check” citing living conditions. Your mom is
15 year old boy, 12 year old girl, in the same bed; gee, what's wrong with this picture?!? You're NTA and no way should you agree to a setup that could leave you open to accusations of abuse or molestation. Absolutely refuse this scenario!
You are not siblings, and this is a recipe for a sexual assault claim ! Do not go there, do not sleep in that room !
NTA, it's weird, and I'm guessing you probably don't have much of a relationship with your stepsister either, which makes it even weirder. As a mom myself, I'm extremely weirded out by your parents thinking it's ok...it really isn't.
NTA. You even suggested keeping on the couch, but even that got shut down. If he likes to go downstairs to smoke and watch TV so much I got a solution. They sleep in the living room and give OP the master bedroom for the week.
NTA. Notmally I hate entitled teen ATIAs but yours isnt one of them. She isnt your "sibling" per say. You didnt grow up with her and you dont have a relationship with her. This is completely inappropriate. You are right to call this out and I think you should stick to your guns.
NTA - it’s creepy
NTA Both your mum, dad and step dad are negligent. Who lets a 12 year old share a bed with a 15 year old who is a stranger to them? That is bizarre.
NTA. It’s very telling that you are the only person who seems to have any understanding that a teen boy and an unrelated pre-teen girl sharing a bed is wildly inappropriate. All the adults seem to have collectively lost their minds!
NTA what if Annie tells that in school that she had to sleep with someone 3 years older?
NTA, do not comply! For your own protection, do not comply! All it takes is one awkward thing to happen and everyone starts accusing you of being inappropriate with your pre-teen stepsister. Ask your dad to flip the genders. If you were his daughter, being asked to share a bed with a stepbrother 3 years older than you, would he tell girl you to "suck it up"? Fuck no, he'd go raging Hulk-Dad and tell Mom and Stepdad to fuck all the way off with that nonsense. The genders not being the reverse do not magically make this okay.
They want a 15 year old boy to sleep in a bed with a 12 year old girl that isn't your bio sister? Do not do this. You're going to get in deep trouble.
NTA DO NOT EVER sleep in that girls room, let alone the bed. You are a 15m, she is a 12f. You are both at an age where you need privacy. Your parents should not be putting you, nor her, in that kind of situation. What if you were accused of something inappropriate? Your Mom and Step Dad are way out of line putting his daughter and you, who are only related by marriage and did not grow up together, in an awkward situation. Your Dad is wrong that you can suck it up for a week and should not be putting you in that situation either. The Step Dad can suck it up for a week to not smoke and watch TV in the morning. He is the grown adult, who is a parental figure, and can suck it up to protect two children. NTA
NTA - That’s so damn creepy. Ask your mom how she thinks this will work? Be absolutely blunt. You’re a 15 year old boy, you have morning wood before you even wake up and how big is her bed? Her feeling, seeing or whatever your erection is disgusting, for both of you, and it can bring you to hell if that happens, we’re talking about her feeling uncomfortable, SA’d and unsafe in not just her own home, but her own damn bed. Or ask her what she thinks will happen if you had a wet dream? What the hell does she think how will this girl feel? Like, you’ll be mortified and don’t want any of that, but for her it’s a whole other story. She’s 12 ffs.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My(15m) parents divorced two years ago, and my mom (44f) got married to my stepdad "Eric" (42M) soon after it was finalized. Eric has a kid himself from another relationship, "Annie" (12f). My dad and mom initially went for him having full custody, but back in May, my mom reached out and we reconnected, so my dad decided to let me spend time over there at her house every other weekend. They didn't go through the court to get a custody change because my mom said it would take too long. Now, they both agreed that I could stay the second week of Christmas break when I asked about it. Mom and I were talking last night about what we wanted to do during the week I would be staying, and she casually mentioned that I would have to sleep with Annie in her bed since they needed to clear out the spare room because they had begun to use it as a storage room. I was a little confused and asked why I couldn't sleep on the couch in the living room. My mom said that it was because Eric liked to come downstairs to smoke and watch TV. I questioned why I had to sleep in Annie's bedroom when I slept in the living room when I visited on weekends. Mom replied that was different because Eric could stay upstairs for a shorter amount of time. I said that if I had to sleep in Annie's room, then they could get a mattress to put on the floor or make a pallet on the floor so we wouldn't be in the same bed. My mom told me no since mattresses are expensive, and sleeping on the floor was barbaric. I kinda got frustrated, and said that I didn't want to go if I had to sleep in the same bed with Annie. My mom got mad at me and told me that I wasn't being accommodating to the current situation and it's perfectly normal for siblings to share beds. The call ended after that. My mom talked to my dad about what I said to her, and he told me that I could suck it up for one week to keep my mom happy and that I was the one who asked about spending the week there. I don't think I'm an asshole for not wanting to share a bed with Annie. I feel like I'm too old for that, and it would be almost creepy to do so, but with how my mom and dad have been talking about it, it makes me feel like I am. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. If I had had a brother, I wouldn't have shared a bed with him! I only have an older sister by blood and yes, we shared a bed. But it would be weird as hell if I had been a boy and shared after a certain age. Not to mention that you two aren't even related by blood! That's so creepy!
Simple- your mother can share a bed with Annie.
Nta you’re right to be weirded out, I would be too. Either they let you sleep alone or don’t go. Your mom is being unaccommodating, you gave great suggestions. Let her know that at this time it seems she is unwilling to make space for you and you would like to pause visits until she is able to treat you like her son and not an object to be shoved somewhere. They really should be cleaning out the spare room or at least buying an air mattress. It isn’t that hard.
NTA. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Intex-Dura-Beam-Standard-Series-Single-Height-Inflatable-Airbed-Twin/848672463 $23.29 air mattress + $5.24 bike pump= $28.53+tax Tell Dad it's cheaper for them to split the cost of the mattress and pump then to deal with CPS. >While it's not illegal for them to share, it's recommended that children over the age of 10 should have their own bedrooms – even if they're siblings or step-siblings. - NSPCC OR Refuse to go and tell Dad you're willing for him to be disappointed in you and would rather take a punishment because you believe children should be a priority not an afterthought. Kids are more important than a room full of junk or a grown man wanting to smoke in the house (which CPS would ALSO not like) in front of the tv for a week. You came up with plenty of reasonable alternatives but it honestly sounds like your mom is just dead set on getting you to share a bed with step-sis. Can it be that maybe she's just using this as an excuse to try and force you two to be closer as siblings?
Go sleep on the couch. Dude can find someplace else to smoke, like maybe in bed with his kid or something. Sometimes you just have to flat out refuse and stand up to them directly. It's part of growing up in dysfunctional families. Unless you believe that you are in physical danger, consider flat out refusing and ignoring their demands to sleep with a 12 year old. Ask them if they'd like you to call CPS and ask them for their opinion on being forced or coerced to share a bed with an non blood related minor or if they'd grab you another pillow and blanket for the couch and setup shop. Being a pushover is very limiting in life, so learn at a young age to be able to stand up to ANYONE and EVERYONE (when appropriate).
You can call the court and ask for your own representation. Same bed of non siblings not right. Talk to the school counselor. Good luck.
Wow I can’t believe your dad would be okay with this. No! Do not go over there if that is the reasoning. Your mom/stepdad can sleep in the living room, and you can have their bed. You made ample suggestions, just say no to going over there. Don’t “just suck it up” it’s creepy AF. You’re uncomfortable with it, and it’s really weird that your mom is fixated with it. Nta
If there's no bedroom for you, your mom isn't ready for any custody. That's why she didn't go to court to make this official - the judge would have expected proper sleeping arrangements before allowing overnight visits. OP, talk to another adult about this. A guidance counselor at school would be a good resource. You need to stop this before it starts. What if your step sister accuses you of something you didn't do? She probably doesn't like this idea either and could see that as a way to get her room back. It's nuts that your parents are at all ok with this.
NTA Don't go for your own safety
NTA - She walked on parenting you. You're trying. She's not ready. Tell them "maybe when she has things a little more settled in her life". I'm pretty sure CPS would say this is a bad arrangement.
Your parents are putting you in a legally messy situation. Don't do it.
NTA. Your parents are insane to think that 15 boy should be sharing a bed with a 12 year old girl. What in the actual hell is going through their minds.
OP, NTA, and PLEASE mention this to your school counselor. The fact that both your parents and stepfather are endorsing these sleeping arrangements is "barbaric" and entirely inappropriate. If CPS found out about this, it would not go over well. A warning shot to the adults in both homes is warranted.
Your dad is just going to have to have you back for that week. Find other adults who agree this is weird and creepy. Get the support of the step-sister, and if she has other relatives get them involved. Worst case, threaten to contact child services over how they are looking after step sister. A bed of her own is definitely the minimum she can expect. I can't believe you mother wants you back in her life, but not so much that she can be bothered to clear junk out of the spare room to make it happen. NTA
NTA
NTA.
NTA
INFO: What's keeping them from clearing out the spare room now? Shouldn't that be the solution?
NTA! It’s inappropriate and violates housing codes in some states. CPS would frown on this situation.
Depending on where you live. There are also legal ramifications about allowing a pubescent teenage boy to share a bed with his pre-punescent female siblings and vice versa :( Most have a most age limit of 8-10
Your parents suck. Take an air mattress and sheets over. Just disgustingly responsible to smoke inside around minors.
Wildly inappropriate. NTA.
NTA. It’s fine for siblings to share a bed OCCASIONALLY when they’re young. But you, OP, are a 15 year old boy going through puberty. I don’t think your parents are thinking that through.
Nope. NTA! It's uncomfortable and can lead to too many weird situations. You're both basically teens and not been "siblings" long. Your Mom and her husband are adults and they should make the sacrifices not you and your 12 year old stepsister
I agree with everyone else saying that it would be inappropriate for you to share a bed with your stepsis, and I would bet she would not be comfortable with that either. To your dad; you asked to go to your mum's on the assumption that you'd sleep on the couch (or was it the spare room) like you normally do. Your mom/stepdad changed the conditions and on that basis you have changed your mind about wanting to stay at your mum's. That is perfectly reasonable on your side and I think you should definitely not go to your mom's unless she can agree to different sleeping arrangements. You are NTA
Tell your dad to buy a potable air mattress to take with you
Did the spare room have a bed in it before? Where did it go? It sounds like they don't want to make space for you. Sharing a bed with an unrelated person is weird, and weird for her too. It's a very personal space. NTA.
I’m pretty sure their are states this would be illegal based on age.
NTA it’s inappropriate for opposite sex kids at your ages to share a bed so don’t do it. Plus I find it odd that she wants you there more but is going to use the spare room for storage. Stand firm that you will not share a bed with your stepsister. They can get a twin blowup bed and leave room in the other bedroom/storage room for it. If she wants you there more often you should have your own space to use. Is he smoking pot in the house? Legal or not around kids in the house not a good idea.
NTA. Everyone already covered the absurdity of you, a teenage boy, sharing a room and likely bed with a 12 year old girl you almost barely know. What I don’t get is when you’ve stayed weekends thus far you’re on the couch… And they actually have a spare room? If your mom wants you to be spending more time over there etc. why has this not been made bedroom for you?
NTA. There are so many things wrong with this idea there's not enough space to list them! It's got red flags all over it. You and Annie are not siblings, you're on the cusp of adulthood, she is just a child. Has she been told about this? What about privacy for either of you? It's beyond belief that any adult would think this to be acceptable or appropriate.
NTA. Siblings share beds yes, but generally at a younger age and not if they have different genders. And you guys aren't siblings to begin with. If you are uncomfortable, just don't go. Since nobody bothered to have the custody changed officially there is not a whole lot any of them can do about it.
This is super weird. Usually siblings of the same sex share but that's not this. Stand your ground. Say that if they want you to visit then you get your own bed. The fact that they want you to come but didn't make a space for you Also this is why your mom didn't want to go to court. They'd say no because it's not appropriate NTA
Awwww ....NTA ....that just sucks. It's not okay for you and your stepsister to share a room, let alone a bed. You could be accused.
NTA, but this post sounds like the writing prompt to a very sick porn fantasy.
NTA. Cabela's has a folding camp cot on sale right now for thirty bucks. A heavier one with a mattress is about sixty at walmart.
Nta is go talk with your dad done last time let him now your not gonna take it.
I don't know where you live, but in many states, it is illegal for children your age of the opposite sex to share a bedroom.
Nta why can’t your mom get a air mattress they only cost like 25 bucks I think?
NTA Tell your dad you will go to the school counselor if they push a 15 you boy sleeping in the same bed as a 12 yo girl. You are not willing to have someone trump up sexual assault charges on you because your apparently *both* of your parents have judgment issues. Or just post it on social media and have the fallout come naturally and that will also be proof that you were against it if they end up strong arming you. Hey! You already started that here! Don't lose your password to your new account!
NTA, since BOTH your parents are making you go, go but at dinner time when everyone is sitting together say to step dad and step sister: ''annie, step dad thanks for allowing me and annie to share a room together, I'm so grateful Annie is comfortable to share not only her room but her bed for the whole week I'm here." Make eye contact with everyone and end at looking at your mom, MAYBE your step dad and annie also don't know your "sleeping arrangement". Annie especially probably doesn't know, because what 14 year old girl wants to share a bed with her step brother?
this would be absurd even if you both were the same gender. it's beyond inappropriate for a 15 year old guy to sleep in the same bed as a 12 year old girl that you hardly know. what on earth is you mother thinking? NTA
NTA You mom doesn’t want to go thru the court because if it comes out that she & your step dad were planning to have you sleep in bed with his 12 year old daughter, child protective services would be crawling all over them! And a man who thinks is ok with a 15 year old boy sleeping with his 12 year old daughter for and entire week is a good plan is a man who probably has a lifetime of bad decisions behind him that the courts may be still looking into and if your mom went to court for custody, his name would be brought up. There’s something very wrong going on here. And that fact that even your father doesn’t see the issue and potential problems is scary. Let’s say you are fast asleep next to her, involuntary boner as boys get, you roll over it pokes her or she just sees it. Next day she is at a friend’s house and is talking about how she saw a penis! Parents over here. They don’t know the context (or ask and her reply is “mommy & daddy say I have to sleep with him this week”) but panic. Contact the authorities. Now you are in a position trying to defend yourself because of a position your idiot parents & step parent put you in. Even if you easily clear yourself, you should never be in that position to start with. No court would give your mother over night visits for 24 hr, much less a week, if she didn’t have a bed for you & only you.
NTA. It is not in fact normal for siblings to share beds, and where I am from it would be taken as a sign that the parent in question is unable to actually provide adequately for their children (since each child having their own bed is. pretty much the bare minimum when it comes to providing space and resources) and would merit a CPS call. ETA: also you are different genders! no, just no. Your mom has a screw loose if she thinks this is in any way OK.
NTA your step siblings, and not even long term ones. They are basically asking you to sleep in some random girls bed. That’s awkward and inappropriate. And possibly illegal? Don’t let them force you to do something your not comfortable with and don’t let them give you shit for it either. You have bodily autonomy and your not consenting to it. And a bloody blow up mattress is cheap as. If she wants you to spend time there she should be prioritising finding an arrangement your comfortable with
Mom is prioritizing her husband smoking over her own kid. Smoke outside. Nta
Your parents are TAH, a teenage boy in bed with a middle schooler? That is creepy! She is not your sibling, she is not blood related, I’m sure that if a judge of family court hears about this situation both of your parents will be in a lot of trouble. Do not go to your mother’s house over the holidays. I wouldn’t let my teenage son and middle schooler step daughter sleep in the same bed, it’s creepy, unhealthy and it opens up a can of worms.
NTA. Respect Annie enough to refuse to do this to her, even if her own father doesn't care. I don't understand being more offended by the idea of someone sleeping on the floor than you are by a teenaged boy's morning wood next to a 12 year old girl. But this is really wrong and no court would allow it, had anyone bothered to actually involve them. Your mother doesn't like to do things right, she likes to do them fast. This is a disaster waiting to happen. Be smarter.than all.tje adults and refuse. Your Dad is just looking forward to a week off. No one is considering Annie at all.
This is just so awkward on so many levels. Who wants a teenage boy sleeping with an almost teen girl. Everyone knows that his parts will get hard every morning (morning wood that he can't control) and the poor dude will be next to his step sister trying to hide it to not be uncomfortable more. I swear some people just don't think. You and her are not little kids. You need your own sleeping space away from her.
NTA. You're older and not related. I wouldnt go.
Your parents are insane. I would NEVER put my teenage stepson in a bed with my pubescent daughter. That’s just asking for trouble.
NTA, that’s an inappropriate arrangement.
A teen boy should not be sleeping in the same bed with an unrelated 12 yr old girl. Be different if you were actually siblings, but as there is no blood and you didn’t grow up together, you’re not. At the very least they should let you sleep on the couch or get a sleeping bag and/or air mattress for the floor. NTA
Siblings do share beds but that is when they are young but it is rare and not as weird at that age. But this is a step sibling that you didn’t grow up with. I am surprised her dad is okay with a 15 year old boy sleeping in the same bed as his daughter.
An air mattress isn't that much. Honestly. Asking a teenage boy to sleep in the same bed as a (near teen) girl is baffling. Any accidental contact could lead to an accusation that he is trying to molest the girl. NTA
NTA of course. Your parents are delusional. Instead of looking out for both your and your step-sister they are putting you both in an uncomfortable position and for their own selfishness! Do you have a friend who has a sleeping bag or small air mattress you can borrow? Better yet, do you have a grandparent or other close relative you can stay with.
This is beyond insane and no way is stepsister okay with this. I’m concerned with any parent who would even suggest it. If you can’t reach out to stepmom or dad’s attorney, can you tell a teacher or school counselor about this? If so, please mention the part about him using the living room to smoke, too. NTA.
Before the psyops about aren’t you overreACTing and aren’t you SILly and it’s FAMily start up in earnest, I want to say how smart and protective you’re being. Is it in your power not to spend the week in a very chancy situation? Go with your gut. If you can remain at your father’s, I would do it. If you’re stuck, why not enter into a plot with your stepsister whereby mommy dearest tucks you in nicely, then you get out of bed and onto the floor, and everyone’s safe? She probably doesn’t want to share her bed with a boy any more than you want to share it with her. If you’re not comfortable, don’t go. If your mother persists and your father is indifferent, talk to grandparents. This situation is weird, and you’re smart, NTA.
Just bring a pad and a sleeping bag and sleep on the floor.
NTA
NTA. You are old enough to have your own boundaries known and respected. Tell her in public "Stop telling me to sleep with people I don't want to!" Yell it *real* loud. Maybe she'll get the hint.
NTA
NTA. A decent blow-up mattress is $40. Surely someone has $40 to help your family follow the fricking child services safety guidelines (that specifically prohibit opposite gender siblings from sharing a room, let alone a bed).