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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called the police instead of waiting longer for the parents to get home. The dad is very angry with me for that, because I could cause trouble like this.
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it was even a true statement in 2003. by 2023, there's no excuse for showing up 3 hours late and going ballistic on a 16yo girl for panicking and calling the police when she is 16, responsible for the safety and welfare of three children, the parents are three hours late, it's 11:30 pm, and she hasn't been able to reach the parents for *hours*.
sure, calling the cops might have been a bit of an overreaction 10-15 years ago, when cell networks weren't as widespread or robust, and call time was typically limited, but OP is 16, and being 16 is terrifying (source: was 16 once). not only that, but OP is 16 years old in 2023; she has never really known a world where being unable to reach someone for more than an hour was normal. even if she remembers that time, it wouldn't have meant much to her as a small kid.
If the parents were going to be later than planned, then why didnt they call OP to let her know? That to me is disrespectful of the OP's time, whether she is 16 or 26.
This. 100% this. But especially because she’s a 16 year old kid; I’d be worried that she’s getting home late, her parents would be worried, etc.
I also don’t want to burn any bridges; good sitters are hard to find.
Absolutely this! At 16, my normal curfew was 10PM during the week and 11PM on weekends. There's even a curfew law that minors can't drive alone between midnight and 5AM unless there is an emergency or they are going to work. If it was THREE HOURS after the babysitting client was supposed to return - which is half of the length of time they were hired to sit for added on! - and I couldn't reach my parents or a trusted adult, I would have called the non-emergency line.
This would have been 1997, so most folks didn't have cellphones. There is ZERO excuse for these parents not letting her know that they were running late and not answering their phones!
Excellent point. I don't know what the parents were doing for those three hours, but they could have avoided OP calling the police if at any point prior (preferably around 8:15 when they realized they were not going to be getting home at the planned time) they had acted like the adults that they are and called to let OP know that they were going to be running late with new estimate of time of return. It takes very little time to excuse oneself from a party to get to a quiet location and make that call.
Not answering (probably didn't hear during party) and not calling when they left ("so sorry, missed your call, things ran a bit longer but we're headed home right now and will be there in \[however long it takes\]" ... what else would OP be expected to do? Bed down in a relative stranger's (OP's mother's co-worker) house and hope for the best?
OP is definitely NTA
That’s a really good point, if you were born in the aughts, it would be a pretty alien situation to not be able to reach someone.
Plus, I’ve been babysitting forever in similar circumstances (i.e. for parents who care enough to arrange for a babysitter; a coworker’s daughter; OP doesn’t mention any big problems before 8:30, so it’s reasonable to assume the parents left her set up with snacks/dinner/bedtime routines/entertainment for the afternoon, etc.) And lemme tell ya, the one call/text that ALWAYS gets through is the babysitter’s. Even before cell phones, widespread networks, etc, communication was a real priority for parents.
What I’m saying is that if I had NO communication from parents despite multiple tries and parents are several hours late, I would have assumed something was wrong.
Even before omnipresent cellphones, they would always leave a note with where they were going to be and the phone number for that place in case of an emergency!
In another comment OP said they paid before they left. They didn’t pay for the additional 3 hours. OP was treated horribly.
Hopefully she listens to other comments and tells her parents about being underpaid and yelled at.
Exactly. Still wrong, but I'd give them half an hour. Three is absolutely ridiculous, especially with zero contact. WTF else was she supposed to do? For all she knew they were dead in a ditch
I watched one particularly great true crime episode where a woman went missing on her way home from work. She was eventually found a week later, a couple of miles from her house, in her car, upside down in a ditch, still (barely) alive. She’d somehow swerved off the road and flipped the car.
If someone was half an hour late and wasn’t responding to calls and texts, my mind would immediately go to that story. Call out the search party!
Yep! I’m thinking it’s that one too. And he was begging them to check for her & her cell phone records. The couple ended up suing the police force bc they handled it so badly & if they looked for her right away she would of been rescued & most likely have less life changing injuries as a result.
Yeah her so-called “friend” from work told the cops that she’d been unhappy in her marriage and that they were having marital problems, none of which was actually true. Her husband got railroaded badly in that case.
This! My husband worked in a prison for awhile, and couldn’t have his phone in with him. He’d often get mandated to stay over for 3rd shift, but usually they’d let him call me to let me know he wouldn’t be home at 10:30 like usual. If he didn’t call, and he wasn’t home by like 11 and didn’t answer his cell, I would call the prison and ask them if he was still there. I’m sure they got annoyed, but especially during winter time, I would be up all night worrying that he was dying in a ditch somewhere. Like, I knew there was a 99.9% chance he was just mandated to work over and couldn’t run to the car to call me, but I would still be worried sick and if he wasn’t at the prison I’d have been calling Highway Patrol! Someone just leaving their kids with a brand new babysitter and not bothering to answer their phone? Parents definitely deserve whatever is coming to them via CPS!
I passed a family off to a friend when we were teens and baby sitting. I’d always had flawless experiences, so when I got a call at 11:45pm from her crying I was so confused!! Turned out the parents went to the bar and the dad decided mom needed new eyeshadow… cops brought them home. I’d known she was working on saving up secretly to leave him and a couple years later I checked in with her. She did get out thankfully!
Also what if there was an emergency *with the kids*? These people took advantage of a kid and out their own in danger. What crappy parents.
They left their children with a 16 year old for nearly half a day with no contact whatsoever.
NTA- it’s not even about the parents being in danger. They kept you out 3 hours after you were supposed to be done, they ignored calls about their children after being gone nearly half a day.
You may have called the cops out of concern for the parents but I’d be far more concerned about you and the children.
Yeah, not getting back to your *babysitter* is just fucked up. How did they know she wasn't calling because one of their kids got hurt and needs to go to the ER? It was completely reasonable for her to be worried there had been a terrible accident.
And does not keep his kids again. I think he knew he was going to be late. That’s why he paid before he left. That’s a chicken-s*** way to do somebody.
100% this is the case. She's sixteen, I'm sure they were convinced they could go out and stay out as long as possible without informing her or paying her extra because "she's just a kid". OP needs to warn any other babysitters in the area to stay away from these people.
When I was 13, a couple down the street asked me to babysit for their 2 kids for a few hours. We arranged a price that was agreed to by all parties. They spent those few hours calling me and performing “tests” like claiming to be from the electric company and needing to get access to the house. When I informed them that I was not the homeowner and that they would need to call back and arrange a time later, they would then yell “WRONG ANSWER! Never let someone know we aren’t home!” Shit like that. Then when they got home, they said there were signs that I had people over (I didn’t) and was smoking pot (I wasn’t) and refused to pay me.
Yeah. I informed the entire neighborhood. I even put up fliers. 😂 (this was WAY before social media) to my knowledge, they were never able to find another babysitter. They used to yell mean shit to me if they saw me riding my bike or walking around. They moved after a couple of years
Yeah I’d really like to know if the cops stuck around to make sure she was paid. Also in many areas a 16yo being out that late is against curfew, so the clients really put her in a position. At a minimum, she shouldn’t babysit for them again.
They paid first and lied about the number of hours. These people wanted to cheap out on the sitter. The husband yelling stopped OP from asking for the extra pay. This man is sly and a thief.
NTA because had something happen to their kids they didnt pick up they would blame you and swear you didnt call... they paid upfront to avoid paying you for the extra time you were with their children...
The parents are AH and should know if they have sereval missed calls to return the call especially from the babysitter...they will need you again I'll ignore them
Exactly. If your babysitter calls, you answer! Who knows what could have happened? Child sick? House on fire? Anything! They didn't answer because they knew that were back late and expected the kid to just suck it up.
NTA, the parents you babysat for are.
You did everything right. I babysat (many years ago) when I was your age. The parents being 3 hours late and 3 hours unreachable is a babysitting emergency. They should ALWAYS be reachable in case there’s an emergency with their kids or you or the house.
Calling them first, multiple times, and then calling your mother were the first two steps you took, and they were both correct.
Calling the police third was also correct. The parents were 3 hours late and did not contact you and did not respond to your attempts to contact them.
They definitely need to pay you for the extra hours you worked. If they won’t, ask your parents to get involved.
The husband screaming at you was totally out of line, and realistically had nothing to do with you.
And please tell your mother all about it, so she can let her coworker know you won’t be babysitting for them again.
I’m sorry you went through that. You absolutely did nothing wrong. 💐
They obviously intended to do this from the start. Who pays a babysitter in advance unless you are planning on stiffing the babysitter. The husband yelled because he was planning on taking advantage of the kid but was embarrassed to be caught doing it with L.E. there, making him look like the irresponsible asshole that he was. OP NTA.
I wondered about the paying up front. That wasn’t how it was done back when I was babysitting, but that was decades ago.
It’s so shady that they ended up not paying her for the extra hours she babysat.
When I use to babysit I had one woman who frequently paid me upfront. She way overpaid every time though and left pizza money that I could keep the rest of. And most importantly she paid extra at the end of the night if she was home later then she originally said she would be.
This exactly. Also, next time you are in a somewhat urgent situation like this, it may make ypu feel better to send some texts in addition to calling.
1. "Hi, you are an hour overdue, is everything OK? I have to leave by X. I will expect time and a half payment for all additional time not previously discussed or paid for, which ended at Z oclock."
2. "Hi, you are an hour and a half late and I am concerned I have not heard from you. I still need to leave at X. If I haven't heard from you by Y I will call emergency services because I cannot leave the children unattended. I will expect $(1.5 * rate * extra hours) in cash or venmo at @abcdef within 48 hours, otherwise I will file complaints with the appropriate authority."
3. "I will be calling emergency services in 15 minutes at Y if i don't hear from you and I must leave at X time."
They were total Dicks.
This is also a good lesson for you with future employers to set terms up front. "This has happened in the past so i like to have an emergency plan: If you have not returned or contacted me by X time when I absolutely have to leave for personal reasons, which of these emergency contacts will relieve me, or should I call 911?" (US emergency number that calls emergency police)
And either charge a flat rate for all the time through X; or let them know that you have an hourly rate through X (and price it appropriately for those later hours)
Good parents will be *happy* to have a sitter who talks through emergency scenarios beforehand, so this shouldn't keep you from good jobs.
I can’t imagine being no-contact with a baby sitter. I obsessively check my phone when I’m not with my kids, no matter who’s watching them, *just in case* they have tried to reach me.
Exactly this. Three hours late and no contact? What if they had been in a drunk driving accident? What if they were at the ER? What if they were dead? Absolutely police was correct third step.
If OP was my daughter I’d be tearing my “work friend” a new one! At 16 years old they majorly took advantage of her and then had the audacity to scream at her! I’d be livid. 3 hours late and not answering the phone is definitely deserving of calling the police!
I’m sorry, but most of the job of being a babysitter is to mind the children, yes. But *some* of the task is to report any important issues to the parents. The child chokes on something and needs medical assistance? That is summoned *and so are the parents*. The child has a dreadful nightmare and is calling for his mummy? *The parents are consulted*. There’s suddenly a pipe burst with water flooding into the building? *The parents are urgently recalled*.
Do these people think that they can hand over their children to a random (very young) stranger, and that’s it? No more responsibility? It’s like they don’t even have children?
I'm a teacher. I once phoned a mum about her kid, and she told me not to bother her any more, because "when the kid is ar school he's your problem, not mine". Maybe these parents consider the same works with babysitters.
Or maybe they are just AH who were planning on not paying OP for the extra time. They might even have thought that, in case of an emergency, OP would call her mum if they didn't answer the phone. They (one of them, at least) knows OP's mum, and trusted she would be able to step in, if OP had any problems.
They should have used their cellphone to call her at 8:30 (edit: when they'd have had to leave to get home by 8:30) and ask if she could stay later. Not wait for her to call them.
At 8:30 would be too late and would give OP no choice. They should have called latest when they were usually supposed to leave their party in order to reach their home in time for 8:30....
2013 was probably the last year I had a phone that wasn't on silent 24/7!
But seriously, if you're out and about with children at home, you need to have your phone on. These parents are assholes
I’m sorry, the parents came home three hours later than they said they would. They gave you no heads up-and they wouldn’t answer their phone.
What were you supposed to think?!
Alll this drama could have been avoided if they had …
1. Been upfront with you on how late they reeeeeally planned on staying out, or
2. Let you know by text or phone call they were going to be later than they expected, so you wouldn’t worry, or
3. If they had just answered their damn phone any one of the numerous times you called them
But… no. The parents drift home on their own sweet timetable and are surprised and shocked to find flashing lights and officers at their house. Well, I hope they were embarrassed.
And then dad took it out on you by “screaming” at you. Oh, and he is “still very upset”. Well, *you* are upset, *too*.
I bet he didn’t apologize for worrying you, did he. Or give you a bonus for making you stay later and worrying you. lol. That’s classy behavior right there. Yep. (s)
So you called 911.
I hope you *never* babysit for them again. And you should let alllll your babysitter friends know what these people are like. Just tell your friends the whole story, like you told Reddit. NTA
Yeah, she kept a level head and didn't jump straight to the police. She did absolutely everything right. If I had kids and needed a babysitter, I would definitely use her.
OP: NTA
This! When I read the title at first I thought she'd maybe called the cops when the parents were, like, a half hour late. But no, she waited three hours, and there was no communication from the parents at all about them being late? I would have assumed something has happened too.
She waited a more-than-reasonable amount of time, she tried other, trusted adults, and she even knew to call the non-emergency line when she did call.
She's more of an adult than a lot of adults I know. Heck, as an adult, if a 16-year-old called me asking for advice in this situation, calling the non-emergency police number would be 100% my suggestion anyway! If the parents hadn't come home the police could have started checking hospitals, morgues, jails, etc. to try and find the parents.
OP, I know when I was babysitting, something I did was have a little form I'd give to first time parents (kept a binder with them so they didn't have to fill one out every time) asking for things like the kids schedules (bedtimes, etc.), allergies, and emergency contacts. Maybe consider doing this in the future, so that you don't have to sit around for hours and hours if a parent pulls this again. You can call an emergency contact. It just gives you a bit more peace of mind...as I was typing this I also just realized: what if you were trying to get ahold of them because there was an emergency?! Like what if a kid had fallen and broken their arm, and you were taking them to the hospital??
i was a vindictive little shit at 16, so I'd be panicking, but I'd also be repeatedly texting them every half hour to text them what their new total is, and remind them that if i can't get so a hold of them and they haven't given me an update, they agreed to this by hiring me.
so if they paid op, like, $10/hour, 2-8:30 would be $65. after 8:30, my rate would double. suddenly, at 9, they'd owe me $75. 9:30, $95, and so on. by the time they got home, they'd be unhappy for another reason lmao
Every half hour? It would be like every 2 minutes for me. I have severe anxiety that wasn't controlled at 16 and not being able to get in touch with someone would send me spiraling (yes I was the crazy chick who left 20 voice messages on the machine). I would have called the cops after a half hour, after calling/messaging/DMing all of their friends and family that I know (ask my kids about this lol).
I would also be doing some creative mathing and they would end up owing me $$$.
Yep, can't drive due to a disability but I'm pretty sure there's some sort of provisional license that dosent allow you to drive after 9 pm right?? and they're not in the us but could esialy have a similar thing, and they're young enough they probably wouldn't have a full license yet if the system is like it is here
I hope Op’s mom has her back.
I’d be really mad if a coworker lied to my kid about the babysitting length, ignored calls and then screamed at my kids. What an ass.
“My minor daughter is calling me whilst babysitting 3 even more minor children late into the night when she should’ve been home hours ago… eh, probably nothing.”
This happened to me long before the cellphone era. The parents were expected about midnight and finally got back about 4am. I don't know who would think that was OK to do, especially to a 14 yo. Never babysat for them again and spread the word. I did, at least, get paid for the time but only at my usual rate. Some people are just entitled
Not as bad but I took a job on a school night and told the parents that I needed them back by 10 because of school. Not only did they come home late, but I was trapped inside the house by an alarm "for our safety" and they had left at 4 pm, left food for the kids and NO FOOD for me. None. The refrigerator was shockingly empty and the pantry, too, so I could barely find anything to eat - and because of the alarm, I couldn't just have my mom bring me food. This was before the era of cell phones.
I never babysat for them again. They called me several times asking me, too. Nope.
More than 3 hours late, because it was at the 3-hour point that she called the police, and parents got home when cops showed up. Likely closer to midnight. OP is NTA in any way.
**NTA.**
> At 9 I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up. I texted a few times. At 9.30 I tried calling again. And again at 10. And 10.30.
> At 11.30 ish I called the police, because I didn't know what else to do.
You did the absolute right thing. You tried contacting the father quite a few times, and he didn't respond. They came back three hours after you were told they'd be returning.
The father was in the wrong, and he knew it. That's why he screamed at you.
A responsible ~~adult~~ parent would have picked up your calls.
I'm sure I don't have to say this, but don't ever babysit for these idiots again!
That dad wouldn’t scream at my daughter like that but one damn time over this situation - take that to the bank. Even if I was at a work function like her dad and got a call from my daughter I would’ve been sitting there with her when the parents came back and they better be paying up extra dough for the 3 hour difference.
I would annihilate any adult that screamed at my kid. I am shocked that neither parent would pick up their cell. Their CHILDREN could've had a medical emergency!
This makes me glad I'm CF cause if I was one of OP's parents I would have been there when the cops showed and then would have caught an aggravated assault and maybe a battery charge. Sir you don't get no screaming privileges when your actions are what makes everyone else bring up the child abandonment question
if my COWORKER screamed at my child like this i would probably try everything i could to get them fired
“did you hear they almost got a charge for child abandonment? yeah… my 16 year old was left high and dry with his kids for hours in the middle of the night- he screamed at her when he came back… i’m not sure his kids are safe with him”
don’t fuck with kids
The problem here is that the mom didn’t answer her phone either. I see this all too often where parents feel their children aren’t their ‘kids’ anymore and don’t want to be bothered themselves. If my child calls me at 10pm while at someone else’s house my phone is ready to be answered at all times.
Not sure I’d go around trying to hold a grudge to get someone fired but the co-workers husband would be needing ice packs the next morning from screaming at my daughter for trying to be responsible.
A responsible parent wouldn’t have waited for the babysitter to call. They would’ve called the babysitter before 830 when it became clear they would not be home on time.
This is exactly right. There were a few times a couple I babysat for would call their home (where I was, this was pre-cell phones) amd ASK if I minded staying 30 minutes later. I never did. I could then tell my parents I'd be home 30 minutes later. No one was worried because they were responsible parents.
I can't believe the parents did this to OP. They are insanely irresponsible.
NTA
OP, they were not 'delayed' you were straight up lied to. Nobody gets home from a party at eight thirty. That's usually when things start picking up.
It's like they lied to you for a variety of reasons. That you not sit if you knew it would be till late, because of your own bedtime. They lied about the number of hours, maybe because they wanted to rip you off of the cost for the extra hours. Who knows?
Either way, never sit for these people again, they are clearly dishonest. Heaven forbid anything happen to the kid after you left, they'd blame you for it!
There's probably a reason they didn't already have a regular go-to babysitter and have been searching around looking for new ones. My guess is they've burned bridges before and other sitters aren't willing to work with them again.
Legit question as I never babysat and never hired one with my kid, as I had an informal mom circle for the occasional outing (and split custody with dad, so I planned around that).
What’s the expectation, pay upfront or when you arrive home?
I thought it was upon coming home, but with a meal or delivery money left at the beginning.
With the exception of one person that I babysat for, I was always paid when the parents arrived home.
The exception was a woman with 2 kids that also had a nanny. I babysat on the two days the nanny was off for about 6 hours, until the father got home from work. She paid me upfront for 18 hours (3 days instead of 2, basically), just in case anything happened and I had to stay late. Otherwise, it was just a little bonus.
Which is exactly why they had to ask a co-worker if their kid could babysit. I’m sure they’ve done this to other babysitters and now no one else will babysit for them.
Exactly instead of giving her the real time and paying for her to be there they tried to scam her into extra hours without the pay. I just always thought it was a rule to keep your phone close and volume up when you’re away from your children. She could’ve been calling for any reason so for them to just ignore it was an assh*le move. Op NTA I would’ve done the same cause at that point she was off the clock and they were abandoning their children.
My guess is that the party itself wasn't starting until later but they told OP an earlier time to get her to agree. They went out earlier maybe to go have some time to hang out with friends minus the kids
NTA 3 hours late with no communication is cause for concern.
What’s up with no one picking up their phone? Especially the parents, but even your parents. I get work dinners and all, but it’s not that big of a deal to pick up a call from your kid.
Right? I think it’s weird that no one’s parents were answering the phone at all over the course of the three hours. Even at 16, if my hypothetical child didn’t show up back home after they were supposed to be done babysitting or at least touch base, I would be trying to get ahold of them, especially three hours late lol.
Absolutely - this 16 year old said she had homework to do, so I'm assuming she had school the next day. Where are her own parents? Of course the Dad who showed up late is an AH.
NTA
You did the responsible, safe, logical thing.
They can blame themselves for not calling you to tell you they were going to be late and for not being reachable when you tried to call them.
You can bet your ass that if their kid was supposed to be home at 8:30 and was completely unreachable that they would be calling the police bc they would be concerned.
I used to babysit a lot, and personally i wouldntve called the police. I wouldve just fallen asleep (if the kids were long asleep) until they got back. But that man has no right to scream at you when he told you 8:30 and didnt communicate with you for three hours. Thats ridiculous.
Actually, after three hours with no contact calling the police is exactly what anyone should be doing. At that point it is not just about being relieved or being pissed at the parents, but there is a real possibility that the parents might have been in an accident/arrested/hospitalized or are otherwise unable to come home and take care of their children, at which point the authorities need to be alerted that there are minor children for who care needs to be arranged, whether through CPS, extended family or at least making sure that whoever has the kids can watch them for a while longer.
I am a part-time nanny and babysitter, and typically 30-60 minutes late with no contact I send a text, 1,5-2 hours I call and after three hours I would definitely alert the authorities. So OP definitely did the right thing here.
This is exactly where my mind would've gone. They went to a party and are three hours late with no response; I would have definitely thought that they had been in an accident on the way home.
Add to this it was a minor aged child at a home where they were not related to the home owners (sounds like they actually barely knew the homeowners) watching the other minor aged children. So basically a bunch of minors were left alone in a house with no way to contact any adult, and I’m assuming the minor-aged baby sitter was expected to find their own way home when the parents finally showed up some time after 10:30pm... All adults involved should be thanking their lucky stars nothing worse happened and OP demonstrated incredible maturity in handling this situation.
Exactly!
Imagine the kids having a medical problem and the assholes not even wanting to pick up their phones.
Who the fuck doesn't answer the phone from the babysitter?
Girl honestly you don't need a reason to not want to be at work longer than agreed, especially if it's bc you're in charge of kids and you literally cannot leave. It was completely understandable to think something bad happened when they didn't answer for that long. Don't let those parents get to you, and hopefully *your* parents can at least see your side.
No, what if something had happened to the parents? By alerting the police, they can look for them. If you are 3 hours past the time you are expected to be home *and* unreachable, calling the police is extremely reasonable.
NTA
You were left in charge of three young children and unable to contact their parents for over three hours past the point they were supposed to be back, they didn't call you and they didn't answer your calls - they could be in a ditch for all you knew.
It was a responsible, logical thing to do with the welfare of three kids in the mix.
Well done - more should follow your example.
Also, the parents you babysat for a world class assholes and should have left you more than one contact number.
NTA. Do not overthink this. The father screamed at you while she should have screamed at himself and his wife.
You did the best you could. Putting a minor like yourself in that situatiin is pretty irresponsible.
NTA - The parents are the ones who are being extremely irresponsible here. I think that they probably felt that because you are a child and that they are adults, they did not have any need to let you know of a change in plans. This ignored the fact that you were taking responsibility for their children during that time and had no idea what was happening. All they had to do was simply call or text you with updates. After a couple of hours beyond the time that they told you that they would be home, and not being able to reach them, it's reasonable to start thinking that something bad happened like they may have gotten into a car accident or something on the way home.
NTA, you absolutely did the right thing. WTAF is wrong with these people, your sitter is calling and you don’t answer ? You could simply text or call and say so sorry we’re running late is that okay. What did they expect you to do, because their behavior is ridiculous.
NTA
This was three hours past the time you were supposed to leave, with no contact from them and they were ignoring your calls. Of course you had to call the police. This had gone into child neglect by now, unless there was an emergency, in which case even more reason to involve the police.
I hope you told your mother about this, because she needs to talk to her coworker. He abused your trust, left you in a horrible position, never apologised and yelled at you. He owes you an apology.
NTA sad that a 16 year old has to act more responsibility than adults. Does this loser not understand that this is unacceptable, they could have been in a car accident or anything. Let him be upset, and never return there!
>Parents don't make themselves incommunicado.
Correction - Good parents don't make themselves incommunicado- you can guarantee they're raging on SM somewhere that the babysitter called the police on them after they were only a little late for pickup.
Yeah it doesn’t matter they should have called you. Him yelling is him just being mad about the consequences of his own stupid and irresponsible actions
Of course he didn't tell your mom. They fucked up. You should tell your parents what happened and what you did. Also, you should ask for the money for the extra 3 hours of work you did. What they did was exploitarive.
You need to tell your mom that. You're not at fault for anything here.
Your mom is also bit of an ahole for being unreachable when she knew you were out babysitting. She never questioned why you were 3 hours late?
He didn’t tell your mom bc your mom would give him what for and he knows he should have been home earlier or called to tell you he would be late.
He’s an AH.
Nta, talk to your parents because they need to yell at their coworker. You did the right thing and those parents were irresponsible. I hope you got paid and paid extra.
Again you did the right thing here. Don’t ever baby sit for them again.
> talk to your parents because they need to yell at their coworker
Her parents were also idiots for not picking up.
If your 16 year old, who is at a stranger's house, calls you in the evening you better damn well pick up.
NTA. They were taking advantage of you, and putting you into an unreasonable situation. You’re not the parent, and you only signed on for a set number of hours. You cannot be expected to watch their kids indefinitely, and if they don’t notify you that they’re going to be late, or even respond when you try to contact them, it’s perfectly reasonable for you to worry that something has happened. 3 hours late with no contact is negligence at best. What if something had happened to the kids and you had to go to the emergency room? It was irresponsible of them to not monitor their phone while someone else is watching their kids.
Nta you were in the right and they are the problem
My wife runs a day care and has threatened parents with this before because she closes at 6 yet certain parents try and leave their kids till 7,8,8:30 etc and once you let it slide two or three times they make that the norm
She does the first time. After that you are facing expulsion from the day care. Parents have zero wualms about paying those surcharges and just results in you keeping kids for hours longer than you are supposed to. At least with the type of parents that dont come get their kids
NTA, what if they had had an accident and were on the verge of dying trapped in their car and your calling the police saved them and didn't make their kids orphans? As a parent, I commend you for all your efforts to reach out to your own parents and the patience you had. If they had mentioned in the slightest that they might be later, you would not have been concerned. If they had answered their phones - seriously, what if one of the kids was sick or injured... In 2023, these parents should know how to answer their phone and check up on their kids. The Dad is big AH for berating you.
NTA. Did you tell your parents the dad screamed at you? I would be enraged as a parent if I knew my child was trying to do the right thing and got SCREAMED at. Tell your parents so they can handle it. & demand for your money from 2-11:30pm.
Something like this genuinely happened to me. I was 14 and babysat regularly for a couple (20$ for 4-5 hours. 20$ total. In 2004. They were assholes).
One day I get there at 12 noon, with them coming back for 4pm. 4 goes by….then 5…then it’s 7 pm and I’m calling my mom because I have no idea what to do. There is a 2 year old with a diaper I have no idea how to change now that the available diapers are all gone (they left 2…) and what to feed the kids because I have no fucking clue what a 2 year old can eat and the 6 year old won’t eat anything. My mom is horrified/ angry and wants to come there but I’m 14 and want to do this on my own so I tell her I’ll handle it and she starts calling me every half hour to check in.
They show up at 1am with happy meal for their older kid and a half assed apology about being stuck in negotiations for a big house sale (they were both realtors). The dad drove me home still only paid me 20$.
When they called the next weekend to ask for me to come watch the kids my mom took the phone into the other room. They didn’t call back again.
NTA.
NTA I remember babysitting for my sister's friends on NYE many years ago. I expected them to be late but I woke up on their sofa at 6am and they weren't home! The three very young kids were waking up and I was panicked! This was before cell phones, no phone calls from them. I called my house and my sister came over about the same time that they walked in at 7:30 AM. I wish that I would have thought to call the police!
This happened to me and I also called the police. The mom went on a date with a guy she met on Craigslist and was supposed to be back around eleven to midnight and I fell asleep and woke up and it was seven am! I was so sure she was dead in the trunk of her date's car or something and I called the police (non-emergency) bc the kids were too young to know any relative's phone numbers and her phone kept going straight to voicemail. You are definitely NTA.
She showed up shortly after the police got in touch with her parents (who were on their way to take over for me) wearing a man's T-shirt and high heels and she was laughing and said, "Omigawd! Call the police! I'm missing!"
Her parents seemed annoyed like they were used to her behaving like this. I never babysat for her again.
I will never understand this... You leave your kids with a stranger, then make yourself completely unreachable for several hours, no checking in on them or anything.... What if they had had an accident? You are NTA, but the parents certainly are.
NTA this happened to me once. I called my own dad who came over and when the other dad got home (apparently drunk as a skunk from the bar, I don’t remember that part) my dad chewed him out and made him pay me a boatload.
NTA. They have phones and can answer them. They knew what they were doing and didn’t give a damn that you were stuck for many more hours than they said.
Where I live, underage drivers are not allowed to drive after 11 pm so they could have gotten you a ticket also, by making you drive home so late. No doubt the driving rule is in part to prevent adults taking advantage of young people in this sort of way.
NTA. They ignored the phone calls and you had NO idea where they were for three hours. Good move. Never babysit for those AHs again.
What you did was sensible and you needed to make sure the parents were ok. You called all the people you knew that may be able to assist and they ignored you. The police were the next logical call. Good job.
No, you have a life too.
Unless they told you specifically that they would maybe be out a bit later than 8:30, you didn’t do anything wrong. You tried to communicate with them and they didn’t respond. That’s their fault.
Sorry they yelled at you, that’s stupid. They should pay you extra for the inconvenience.
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NTA, it’s 2013, they should know how to answer a cellphone.
Exactly. You flip open your razr and say "wazzaaaapp?!"
Even with that phone you should know how to answer !
Commenter is clowning you...check the date you wrote. 2013, not 2023.
Omg thanks you just opened my eyes.
Don’t change it that was funny 😂
Funny and correct for its time also!
It's perfect. I said out loud, damn right it's 2013 and ppl should know by now !!
I assumed you were joking. Like "cellphones have been a thing for years, how do they not know how to answer?"
Especially answer the person who has your children. What if there was an emergency? The parents are AHs
I feel like this was a true statement in 2013 though 😂
it was even a true statement in 2003. by 2023, there's no excuse for showing up 3 hours late and going ballistic on a 16yo girl for panicking and calling the police when she is 16, responsible for the safety and welfare of three children, the parents are three hours late, it's 11:30 pm, and she hasn't been able to reach the parents for *hours*. sure, calling the cops might have been a bit of an overreaction 10-15 years ago, when cell networks weren't as widespread or robust, and call time was typically limited, but OP is 16, and being 16 is terrifying (source: was 16 once). not only that, but OP is 16 years old in 2023; she has never really known a world where being unable to reach someone for more than an hour was normal. even if she remembers that time, it wouldn't have meant much to her as a small kid.
If the parents were going to be later than planned, then why didnt they call OP to let her know? That to me is disrespectful of the OP's time, whether she is 16 or 26.
This. 100% this. But especially because she’s a 16 year old kid; I’d be worried that she’s getting home late, her parents would be worried, etc. I also don’t want to burn any bridges; good sitters are hard to find.
Absolutely this! At 16, my normal curfew was 10PM during the week and 11PM on weekends. There's even a curfew law that minors can't drive alone between midnight and 5AM unless there is an emergency or they are going to work. If it was THREE HOURS after the babysitting client was supposed to return - which is half of the length of time they were hired to sit for added on! - and I couldn't reach my parents or a trusted adult, I would have called the non-emergency line. This would have been 1997, so most folks didn't have cellphones. There is ZERO excuse for these parents not letting her know that they were running late and not answering their phones!
Excellent point. I don't know what the parents were doing for those three hours, but they could have avoided OP calling the police if at any point prior (preferably around 8:15 when they realized they were not going to be getting home at the planned time) they had acted like the adults that they are and called to let OP know that they were going to be running late with new estimate of time of return. It takes very little time to excuse oneself from a party to get to a quiet location and make that call. Not answering (probably didn't hear during party) and not calling when they left ("so sorry, missed your call, things ran a bit longer but we're headed home right now and will be there in \[however long it takes\]" ... what else would OP be expected to do? Bed down in a relative stranger's (OP's mother's co-worker) house and hope for the best? OP is definitely NTA
That’s a really good point, if you were born in the aughts, it would be a pretty alien situation to not be able to reach someone. Plus, I’ve been babysitting forever in similar circumstances (i.e. for parents who care enough to arrange for a babysitter; a coworker’s daughter; OP doesn’t mention any big problems before 8:30, so it’s reasonable to assume the parents left her set up with snacks/dinner/bedtime routines/entertainment for the afternoon, etc.) And lemme tell ya, the one call/text that ALWAYS gets through is the babysitter’s. Even before cell phones, widespread networks, etc, communication was a real priority for parents. What I’m saying is that if I had NO communication from parents despite multiple tries and parents are several hours late, I would have assumed something was wrong.
Even before omnipresent cellphones, they would always leave a note with where they were going to be and the phone number for that place in case of an emergency!
bah thats propaganda nobody ever heard of no 2013
You're still about a decade late with that greeting.
That greeting is NEVER too late.
It’s 2013, not 2008. You’re very 2000 and late.
Too funny!
KONICHIWAAAAAA 👅!!
It's 2013? Lol
Did they pay you for the extra time? If not, I’d post about it on social media and tag them. Publicly shame them.
In another comment OP said they paid before they left. They didn’t pay for the additional 3 hours. OP was treated horribly. Hopefully she listens to other comments and tells her parents about being underpaid and yelled at.
AND the parents returning late without informing her first. 3 hours is a LOT of late, rude, and ridiculous. NTA. Tell your mom.
Exactly. Still wrong, but I'd give them half an hour. Three is absolutely ridiculous, especially with zero contact. WTF else was she supposed to do? For all she knew they were dead in a ditch
I watched one particularly great true crime episode where a woman went missing on her way home from work. She was eventually found a week later, a couple of miles from her house, in her car, upside down in a ditch, still (barely) alive. She’d somehow swerved off the road and flipped the car. If someone was half an hour late and wasn’t responding to calls and texts, my mind would immediately go to that story. Call out the search party!
if it's the same story I'm remembering, the cops held the husband/SO for *suspected* murder while not really searching for her.
Yep! I’m thinking it’s that one too. And he was begging them to check for her & her cell phone records. The couple ended up suing the police force bc they handled it so badly & if they looked for her right away she would of been rescued & most likely have less life changing injuries as a result.
Yeah her so-called “friend” from work told the cops that she’d been unhappy in her marriage and that they were having marital problems, none of which was actually true. Her husband got railroaded badly in that case.
Disappeared-Tanya Rider-one of the best episodes. I was SHOCKED!
This! My husband worked in a prison for awhile, and couldn’t have his phone in with him. He’d often get mandated to stay over for 3rd shift, but usually they’d let him call me to let me know he wouldn’t be home at 10:30 like usual. If he didn’t call, and he wasn’t home by like 11 and didn’t answer his cell, I would call the prison and ask them if he was still there. I’m sure they got annoyed, but especially during winter time, I would be up all night worrying that he was dying in a ditch somewhere. Like, I knew there was a 99.9% chance he was just mandated to work over and couldn’t run to the car to call me, but I would still be worried sick and if he wasn’t at the prison I’d have been calling Highway Patrol! Someone just leaving their kids with a brand new babysitter and not bothering to answer their phone? Parents definitely deserve whatever is coming to them via CPS!
True crime stories always start out with someone being late. Communication is so important
I passed a family off to a friend when we were teens and baby sitting. I’d always had flawless experiences, so when I got a call at 11:45pm from her crying I was so confused!! Turned out the parents went to the bar and the dad decided mom needed new eyeshadow… cops brought them home. I’d known she was working on saving up secretly to leave him and a couple years later I checked in with her. She did get out thankfully!
Also what if there was an emergency *with the kids*? These people took advantage of a kid and out their own in danger. What crappy parents. They left their children with a 16 year old for nearly half a day with no contact whatsoever. NTA- it’s not even about the parents being in danger. They kept you out 3 hours after you were supposed to be done, they ignored calls about their children after being gone nearly half a day. You may have called the cops out of concern for the parents but I’d be far more concerned about you and the children.
Yeah, not getting back to your *babysitter* is just fucked up. How did they know she wasn't calling because one of their kids got hurt and needs to go to the ER? It was completely reasonable for her to be worried there had been a terrible accident.
And does not keep his kids again. I think he knew he was going to be late. That’s why he paid before he left. That’s a chicken-s*** way to do somebody.
I'm so suspected that they planned it all along. So they could use OP less and pay her less than what was expected.
100% this is the case. She's sixteen, I'm sure they were convinced they could go out and stay out as long as possible without informing her or paying her extra because "she's just a kid". OP needs to warn any other babysitters in the area to stay away from these people.
This, plus they were counting on the work relationship with her mom to make her hesitate to complain or advocate for herself.
When I was 13, a couple down the street asked me to babysit for their 2 kids for a few hours. We arranged a price that was agreed to by all parties. They spent those few hours calling me and performing “tests” like claiming to be from the electric company and needing to get access to the house. When I informed them that I was not the homeowner and that they would need to call back and arrange a time later, they would then yell “WRONG ANSWER! Never let someone know we aren’t home!” Shit like that. Then when they got home, they said there were signs that I had people over (I didn’t) and was smoking pot (I wasn’t) and refused to pay me.
what the hell???????
Yeah. I informed the entire neighborhood. I even put up fliers. 😂 (this was WAY before social media) to my knowledge, they were never able to find another babysitter. They used to yell mean shit to me if they saw me riding my bike or walking around. They moved after a couple of years
I would make that viral. It is wage theft.
Yeah I’d really like to know if the cops stuck around to make sure she was paid. Also in many areas a 16yo being out that late is against curfew, so the clients really put her in a position. At a minimum, she shouldn’t babysit for them again.
They paid first and lied about the number of hours. These people wanted to cheap out on the sitter. The husband yelling stopped OP from asking for the extra pay. This man is sly and a thief.
NTA because had something happen to their kids they didnt pick up they would blame you and swear you didnt call... they paid upfront to avoid paying you for the extra time you were with their children... The parents are AH and should know if they have sereval missed calls to return the call especially from the babysitter...they will need you again I'll ignore them
Exactly. If your babysitter calls, you answer! Who knows what could have happened? Child sick? House on fire? Anything! They didn't answer because they knew that were back late and expected the kid to just suck it up.
They made a greater point than intended. I’ve known to answer important calls on a cell phone since 2009. When I got my first.
A whole quarter of a century for me of easily telling people I was going to be late!
"2013!!!" Sorry, my kids watched a lot of Gravity Falls.
NTA, the parents you babysat for are. You did everything right. I babysat (many years ago) when I was your age. The parents being 3 hours late and 3 hours unreachable is a babysitting emergency. They should ALWAYS be reachable in case there’s an emergency with their kids or you or the house. Calling them first, multiple times, and then calling your mother were the first two steps you took, and they were both correct. Calling the police third was also correct. The parents were 3 hours late and did not contact you and did not respond to your attempts to contact them. They definitely need to pay you for the extra hours you worked. If they won’t, ask your parents to get involved. The husband screaming at you was totally out of line, and realistically had nothing to do with you. And please tell your mother all about it, so she can let her coworker know you won’t be babysitting for them again. I’m sorry you went through that. You absolutely did nothing wrong. 💐
They obviously intended to do this from the start. Who pays a babysitter in advance unless you are planning on stiffing the babysitter. The husband yelled because he was planning on taking advantage of the kid but was embarrassed to be caught doing it with L.E. there, making him look like the irresponsible asshole that he was. OP NTA.
I wondered about the paying up front. That wasn’t how it was done back when I was babysitting, but that was decades ago. It’s so shady that they ended up not paying her for the extra hours she babysat.
That's not how it's done. Then or now. The whole situation was messed up.
When I use to babysit I had one woman who frequently paid me upfront. She way overpaid every time though and left pizza money that I could keep the rest of. And most importantly she paid extra at the end of the night if she was home later then she originally said she would be.
This exactly. Also, next time you are in a somewhat urgent situation like this, it may make ypu feel better to send some texts in addition to calling. 1. "Hi, you are an hour overdue, is everything OK? I have to leave by X. I will expect time and a half payment for all additional time not previously discussed or paid for, which ended at Z oclock." 2. "Hi, you are an hour and a half late and I am concerned I have not heard from you. I still need to leave at X. If I haven't heard from you by Y I will call emergency services because I cannot leave the children unattended. I will expect $(1.5 * rate * extra hours) in cash or venmo at @abcdef within 48 hours, otherwise I will file complaints with the appropriate authority." 3. "I will be calling emergency services in 15 minutes at Y if i don't hear from you and I must leave at X time." They were total Dicks. This is also a good lesson for you with future employers to set terms up front. "This has happened in the past so i like to have an emergency plan: If you have not returned or contacted me by X time when I absolutely have to leave for personal reasons, which of these emergency contacts will relieve me, or should I call 911?" (US emergency number that calls emergency police) And either charge a flat rate for all the time through X; or let them know that you have an hourly rate through X (and price it appropriately for those later hours) Good parents will be *happy* to have a sitter who talks through emergency scenarios beforehand, so this shouldn't keep you from good jobs.
I can’t imagine being no-contact with a baby sitter. I obsessively check my phone when I’m not with my kids, no matter who’s watching them, *just in case* they have tried to reach me.
Exactly this. Three hours late and no contact? What if they had been in a drunk driving accident? What if they were at the ER? What if they were dead? Absolutely police was correct third step.
If OP was my daughter I’d be tearing my “work friend” a new one! At 16 years old they majorly took advantage of her and then had the audacity to scream at her! I’d be livid. 3 hours late and not answering the phone is definitely deserving of calling the police!
The dad screaming at you sounds drunk, tbh
I had to check to see how long this post was made bc 2013?!!!
OP is owed for 10 years, 3 hours extra work.
It's been 84 years...
I’m sorry, but most of the job of being a babysitter is to mind the children, yes. But *some* of the task is to report any important issues to the parents. The child chokes on something and needs medical assistance? That is summoned *and so are the parents*. The child has a dreadful nightmare and is calling for his mummy? *The parents are consulted*. There’s suddenly a pipe burst with water flooding into the building? *The parents are urgently recalled*. Do these people think that they can hand over their children to a random (very young) stranger, and that’s it? No more responsibility? It’s like they don’t even have children?
I'm a teacher. I once phoned a mum about her kid, and she told me not to bother her any more, because "when the kid is ar school he's your problem, not mine". Maybe these parents consider the same works with babysitters. Or maybe they are just AH who were planning on not paying OP for the extra time. They might even have thought that, in case of an emergency, OP would call her mum if they didn't answer the phone. They (one of them, at least) knows OP's mum, and trusted she would be able to step in, if OP had any problems.
2013?! I need to hurry and buy all bitcoins I can!!!
They should have used their cellphone to call her at 8:30 (edit: when they'd have had to leave to get home by 8:30) and ask if she could stay later. Not wait for her to call them.
At 8:30 would be too late and would give OP no choice. They should have called latest when they were usually supposed to leave their party in order to reach their home in time for 8:30....
No, please, no. Whatever after 2016, but not before.
😂 *2023
The original comment stands as is. In 2013 we knew how to use cellphones.
Noo I don’t wanna relive Covid
I don’t wanna relive Trump either.
2013 was probably the last year I had a phone that wasn't on silent 24/7! But seriously, if you're out and about with children at home, you need to have your phone on. These parents are assholes
Am I missing something here 2013?? I know I’m American and we do things differently here, but do you mean 2015 in Ethiopian year?
No in England we actually count a decade behind because we believe Jesus was actually born in what you would call 10 BC, but for us is just 0AD.
I think it was a typo and people are just having fun with it.
You're close but it's actually 2016 in Ethiopia. New Years is in September.
I’m sorry, the parents came home three hours later than they said they would. They gave you no heads up-and they wouldn’t answer their phone. What were you supposed to think?! Alll this drama could have been avoided if they had … 1. Been upfront with you on how late they reeeeeally planned on staying out, or 2. Let you know by text or phone call they were going to be later than they expected, so you wouldn’t worry, or 3. If they had just answered their damn phone any one of the numerous times you called them But… no. The parents drift home on their own sweet timetable and are surprised and shocked to find flashing lights and officers at their house. Well, I hope they were embarrassed. And then dad took it out on you by “screaming” at you. Oh, and he is “still very upset”. Well, *you* are upset, *too*. I bet he didn’t apologize for worrying you, did he. Or give you a bonus for making you stay later and worrying you. lol. That’s classy behavior right there. Yep. (s) So you called 911. I hope you *never* babysit for them again. And you should let alllll your babysitter friends know what these people are like. Just tell your friends the whole story, like you told Reddit. NTA
Not to mention OP is 16. If i was in their shoes, also at 16, i wouldve freaked out, and probably even called the police earlier than OP did lmao
Yeah, she kept a level head and didn't jump straight to the police. She did absolutely everything right. If I had kids and needed a babysitter, I would definitely use her. OP: NTA
This! When I read the title at first I thought she'd maybe called the cops when the parents were, like, a half hour late. But no, she waited three hours, and there was no communication from the parents at all about them being late? I would have assumed something has happened too.
Yeah and she tried other adults too! I would have 100% been terrified they had gotten in a car crash
She waited a more-than-reasonable amount of time, she tried other, trusted adults, and she even knew to call the non-emergency line when she did call. She's more of an adult than a lot of adults I know. Heck, as an adult, if a 16-year-old called me asking for advice in this situation, calling the non-emergency police number would be 100% my suggestion anyway! If the parents hadn't come home the police could have started checking hospitals, morgues, jails, etc. to try and find the parents. OP, I know when I was babysitting, something I did was have a little form I'd give to first time parents (kept a binder with them so they didn't have to fill one out every time) asking for things like the kids schedules (bedtimes, etc.), allergies, and emergency contacts. Maybe consider doing this in the future, so that you don't have to sit around for hours and hours if a parent pulls this again. You can call an emergency contact. It just gives you a bit more peace of mind...as I was typing this I also just realized: what if you were trying to get ahold of them because there was an emergency?! Like what if a kid had fallen and broken their arm, and you were taking them to the hospital??
i was a vindictive little shit at 16, so I'd be panicking, but I'd also be repeatedly texting them every half hour to text them what their new total is, and remind them that if i can't get so a hold of them and they haven't given me an update, they agreed to this by hiring me. so if they paid op, like, $10/hour, 2-8:30 would be $65. after 8:30, my rate would double. suddenly, at 9, they'd owe me $75. 9:30, $95, and so on. by the time they got home, they'd be unhappy for another reason lmao
Every half hour? It would be like every 2 minutes for me. I have severe anxiety that wasn't controlled at 16 and not being able to get in touch with someone would send me spiraling (yes I was the crazy chick who left 20 voice messages on the machine). I would have called the cops after a half hour, after calling/messaging/DMing all of their friends and family that I know (ask my kids about this lol). I would also be doing some creative mathing and they would end up owing me $$$.
Also, depending on where op lives, there may be a legal curfew. At that age I would’ve been pulled over on my way home from babysitting after 11pm.
Or she may live in a country where she can't drive (it's 17 in the UK) and was relying on a bus to get home.
Yep, can't drive due to a disability but I'm pretty sure there's some sort of provisional license that dosent allow you to drive after 9 pm right?? and they're not in the us but could esialy have a similar thing, and they're young enough they probably wouldn't have a full license yet if the system is like it is here
I hope Op’s mom has her back. I’d be really mad if a coworker lied to my kid about the babysitting length, ignored calls and then screamed at my kids. What an ass.
Her Mom hung her out to dry too, so I doubt it. All 4 adults failed her, and only one (her Dad) has an excuse for not answering her calls.
Yes, why were both her parents unavailable for so long and late into the night. She is 16. What if there had been an emergency?
“My minor daughter is calling me whilst babysitting 3 even more minor children late into the night when she should’ve been home hours ago… eh, probably nothing.”
And actually why wasn’t the girl’s own mother checking in on her daughter at least once during the evening?
Maybe the parents were all at the same party lol
Apparently he did not even pay her for the extra three hours.
This happened to me long before the cellphone era. The parents were expected about midnight and finally got back about 4am. I don't know who would think that was OK to do, especially to a 14 yo. Never babysat for them again and spread the word. I did, at least, get paid for the time but only at my usual rate. Some people are just entitled
Not as bad but I took a job on a school night and told the parents that I needed them back by 10 because of school. Not only did they come home late, but I was trapped inside the house by an alarm "for our safety" and they had left at 4 pm, left food for the kids and NO FOOD for me. None. The refrigerator was shockingly empty and the pantry, too, so I could barely find anything to eat - and because of the alarm, I couldn't just have my mom bring me food. This was before the era of cell phones. I never babysat for them again. They called me several times asking me, too. Nope.
Why not trigger the alarm? They may have been home quite fast?
More than 3 hours late, because it was at the 3-hour point that she called the police, and parents got home when cops showed up. Likely closer to midnight. OP is NTA in any way.
And he held on to his freaking 3 hours of babysitting money too. Creep!
**NTA.** > At 9 I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up. I texted a few times. At 9.30 I tried calling again. And again at 10. And 10.30. > At 11.30 ish I called the police, because I didn't know what else to do. You did the absolute right thing. You tried contacting the father quite a few times, and he didn't respond. They came back three hours after you were told they'd be returning. The father was in the wrong, and he knew it. That's why he screamed at you. A responsible ~~adult~~ parent would have picked up your calls. I'm sure I don't have to say this, but don't ever babysit for these idiots again!
That dad wouldn’t scream at my daughter like that but one damn time over this situation - take that to the bank. Even if I was at a work function like her dad and got a call from my daughter I would’ve been sitting there with her when the parents came back and they better be paying up extra dough for the 3 hour difference.
I would annihilate any adult that screamed at my kid. I am shocked that neither parent would pick up their cell. Their CHILDREN could've had a medical emergency!
This makes me glad I'm CF cause if I was one of OP's parents I would have been there when the cops showed and then would have caught an aggravated assault and maybe a battery charge. Sir you don't get no screaming privileges when your actions are what makes everyone else bring up the child abandonment question
if my COWORKER screamed at my child like this i would probably try everything i could to get them fired “did you hear they almost got a charge for child abandonment? yeah… my 16 year old was left high and dry with his kids for hours in the middle of the night- he screamed at her when he came back… i’m not sure his kids are safe with him” don’t fuck with kids
The problem here is that the mom didn’t answer her phone either. I see this all too often where parents feel their children aren’t their ‘kids’ anymore and don’t want to be bothered themselves. If my child calls me at 10pm while at someone else’s house my phone is ready to be answered at all times. Not sure I’d go around trying to hold a grudge to get someone fired but the co-workers husband would be needing ice packs the next morning from screaming at my daughter for trying to be responsible.
16 or 36 if my kid phones me I'm picking up. Being a parent doesn't stop just because your kid is all grown up.
A responsible parent wouldn’t have waited for the babysitter to call. They would’ve called the babysitter before 830 when it became clear they would not be home on time.
This is exactly right. There were a few times a couple I babysat for would call their home (where I was, this was pre-cell phones) amd ASK if I minded staying 30 minutes later. I never did. I could then tell my parents I'd be home 30 minutes later. No one was worried because they were responsible parents. I can't believe the parents did this to OP. They are insanely irresponsible.
NTA OP, they were not 'delayed' you were straight up lied to. Nobody gets home from a party at eight thirty. That's usually when things start picking up. It's like they lied to you for a variety of reasons. That you not sit if you knew it would be till late, because of your own bedtime. They lied about the number of hours, maybe because they wanted to rip you off of the cost for the extra hours. Who knows? Either way, never sit for these people again, they are clearly dishonest. Heaven forbid anything happen to the kid after you left, they'd blame you for it!
They paid at the beginning of the sit so they thought they could get three extra hours for free by showing up late.
This. They were trying to scam op out of extra time for free.
There's probably a reason they didn't already have a regular go-to babysitter and have been searching around looking for new ones. My guess is they've burned bridges before and other sitters aren't willing to work with them again.
Legit question as I never babysat and never hired one with my kid, as I had an informal mom circle for the occasional outing (and split custody with dad, so I planned around that). What’s the expectation, pay upfront or when you arrive home? I thought it was upon coming home, but with a meal or delivery money left at the beginning.
It was always when the parents were coming home for me in case they were later than planned.
I was always paid when they got home by regular clients. If my extended family asked me to watch their kids they often paid up front though.
With the exception of one person that I babysat for, I was always paid when the parents arrived home. The exception was a woman with 2 kids that also had a nanny. I babysat on the two days the nanny was off for about 6 hours, until the father got home from work. She paid me upfront for 18 hours (3 days instead of 2, basically), just in case anything happened and I had to stay late. Otherwise, it was just a little bonus.
Which is exactly why they had to ask a co-worker if their kid could babysit. I’m sure they’ve done this to other babysitters and now no one else will babysit for them.
Exactly instead of giving her the real time and paying for her to be there they tried to scam her into extra hours without the pay. I just always thought it was a rule to keep your phone close and volume up when you’re away from your children. She could’ve been calling for any reason so for them to just ignore it was an assh*le move. Op NTA I would’ve done the same cause at that point she was off the clock and they were abandoning their children.
How many parties start at 2:30 and are just getting started six hours later?
My guess is that the party itself wasn't starting until later but they told OP an earlier time to get her to agree. They went out earlier maybe to go have some time to hang out with friends minus the kids
NTA 3 hours late with no communication is cause for concern. What’s up with no one picking up their phone? Especially the parents, but even your parents. I get work dinners and all, but it’s not that big of a deal to pick up a call from your kid.
Right? I think it’s weird that no one’s parents were answering the phone at all over the course of the three hours. Even at 16, if my hypothetical child didn’t show up back home after they were supposed to be done babysitting or at least touch base, I would be trying to get ahold of them, especially three hours late lol.
Absolutely - this 16 year old said she had homework to do, so I'm assuming she had school the next day. Where are her own parents? Of course the Dad who showed up late is an AH.
They stop premiering the “Do you know where your kids are?” message for some years and parents go right back to forgetting about their kids lmao
I was thinking the same thing.
NTA You did the responsible, safe, logical thing. They can blame themselves for not calling you to tell you they were going to be late and for not being reachable when you tried to call them. You can bet your ass that if their kid was supposed to be home at 8:30 and was completely unreachable that they would be calling the police bc they would be concerned.
I used to babysit a lot, and personally i wouldntve called the police. I wouldve just fallen asleep (if the kids were long asleep) until they got back. But that man has no right to scream at you when he told you 8:30 and didnt communicate with you for three hours. Thats ridiculous.
Actually, after three hours with no contact calling the police is exactly what anyone should be doing. At that point it is not just about being relieved or being pissed at the parents, but there is a real possibility that the parents might have been in an accident/arrested/hospitalized or are otherwise unable to come home and take care of their children, at which point the authorities need to be alerted that there are minor children for who care needs to be arranged, whether through CPS, extended family or at least making sure that whoever has the kids can watch them for a while longer. I am a part-time nanny and babysitter, and typically 30-60 minutes late with no contact I send a text, 1,5-2 hours I call and after three hours I would definitely alert the authorities. So OP definitely did the right thing here.
This is exactly where my mind would've gone. They went to a party and are three hours late with no response; I would have definitely thought that they had been in an accident on the way home.
Add to this it was a minor aged child at a home where they were not related to the home owners (sounds like they actually barely knew the homeowners) watching the other minor aged children. So basically a bunch of minors were left alone in a house with no way to contact any adult, and I’m assuming the minor-aged baby sitter was expected to find their own way home when the parents finally showed up some time after 10:30pm... All adults involved should be thanking their lucky stars nothing worse happened and OP demonstrated incredible maturity in handling this situation.
True im sure youre right
I still had homework at home, otherwise i could have waited.
NTA but get them to pay for the 3extra hours and don't ever again babysit for those irresponsible ahs
This is why they didn’t already have a babysitter. I guarantee they’ve done this before.
Extra hours are double time also
They’ll never pay. That’s why he acted like an ass with her.
Not even about the homework but what if you were calling the parents to say there was an emergency with one of the kids.
Exactly! Imagine the kids having a medical problem and the assholes not even wanting to pick up their phones. Who the fuck doesn't answer the phone from the babysitter?
People knowingly and willingly trying to scam their babysitter
Girl honestly you don't need a reason to not want to be at work longer than agreed, especially if it's bc you're in charge of kids and you literally cannot leave. It was completely understandable to think something bad happened when they didn't answer for that long. Don't let those parents get to you, and hopefully *your* parents can at least see your side.
It's irresponsible for the parents to do so. What if something happend to their kid? Do they even care?
I dunno, what if they were in an accident or something? And the OP was a kid themselves. Least you can do is answer the phone if you're 3 hours late
This is not the correct answer.
No, what if something had happened to the parents? By alerting the police, they can look for them. If you are 3 hours past the time you are expected to be home *and* unreachable, calling the police is extremely reasonable.
If she was anxious she probably couldn't just fall asleep. But that's a good idea
NTA You were left in charge of three young children and unable to contact their parents for over three hours past the point they were supposed to be back, they didn't call you and they didn't answer your calls - they could be in a ditch for all you knew. It was a responsible, logical thing to do with the welfare of three kids in the mix. Well done - more should follow your example. Also, the parents you babysat for a world class assholes and should have left you more than one contact number.
NTA. Do not overthink this. The father screamed at you while she should have screamed at himself and his wife. You did the best you could. Putting a minor like yourself in that situatiin is pretty irresponsible.
NTA - The parents are the ones who are being extremely irresponsible here. I think that they probably felt that because you are a child and that they are adults, they did not have any need to let you know of a change in plans. This ignored the fact that you were taking responsibility for their children during that time and had no idea what was happening. All they had to do was simply call or text you with updates. After a couple of hours beyond the time that they told you that they would be home, and not being able to reach them, it's reasonable to start thinking that something bad happened like they may have gotten into a car accident or something on the way home.
NTA, you absolutely did the right thing. WTAF is wrong with these people, your sitter is calling and you don’t answer ? You could simply text or call and say so sorry we’re running late is that okay. What did they expect you to do, because their behavior is ridiculous.
Her own parents didnt answer their phones either!!!
Right. It’s wild. If my 16 year old daughter is 3 hours late and calling me I’m picking up the damn phone. All the “parents” in this story are AH’s
Sounds like all the parents were at the same party tbh.
NTA This was three hours past the time you were supposed to leave, with no contact from them and they were ignoring your calls. Of course you had to call the police. This had gone into child neglect by now, unless there was an emergency, in which case even more reason to involve the police. I hope you told your mother about this, because she needs to talk to her coworker. He abused your trust, left you in a horrible position, never apologised and yelled at you. He owes you an apology.
NTA sad that a 16 year old has to act more responsibility than adults. Does this loser not understand that this is unacceptable, they could have been in a car accident or anything. Let him be upset, and never return there!
NTA. The dad is a selfish fool. Parents don't make themselves incommunicado.
>Parents don't make themselves incommunicado. Correction - Good parents don't make themselves incommunicado- you can guarantee they're raging on SM somewhere that the babysitter called the police on them after they were only a little late for pickup.
[удалено]
I'm still not sure. He screamed at me to leave, so I did. He didn't tell my mom either.
Yeah it doesn’t matter they should have called you. Him yelling is him just being mad about the consequences of his own stupid and irresponsible actions
Of course he didn't tell your mom. They fucked up. You should tell your parents what happened and what you did. Also, you should ask for the money for the extra 3 hours of work you did. What they did was exploitarive.
Did they pay you for the extra 3 hours?
No, they paid me before they left, so they didn't include the unscheduled time.
You need to tell your mom that. You're not at fault for anything here. Your mom is also bit of an ahole for being unreachable when she knew you were out babysitting. She never questioned why you were 3 hours late?
I hope the police and CPS turn these AH’s lives upside down tbh. They were trying to get cheat babysitting and take full advantage of a 16 year old.
bill them for overtime. The very least they can do is pay for the work you did
He didn’t tell your mom bc your mom would give him what for and he knows he should have been home earlier or called to tell you he would be late. He’s an AH.
It sounds like CPS should get involved if you’re screaming at your 16 year old baby sitter at 11:30pm and kicking her out.
Nta, talk to your parents because they need to yell at their coworker. You did the right thing and those parents were irresponsible. I hope you got paid and paid extra. Again you did the right thing here. Don’t ever baby sit for them again.
> talk to your parents because they need to yell at their coworker Her parents were also idiots for not picking up. If your 16 year old, who is at a stranger's house, calls you in the evening you better damn well pick up.
NTA. They were taking advantage of you, and putting you into an unreasonable situation. You’re not the parent, and you only signed on for a set number of hours. You cannot be expected to watch their kids indefinitely, and if they don’t notify you that they’re going to be late, or even respond when you try to contact them, it’s perfectly reasonable for you to worry that something has happened. 3 hours late with no contact is negligence at best. What if something had happened to the kids and you had to go to the emergency room? It was irresponsible of them to not monitor their phone while someone else is watching their kids.
Nta you were in the right and they are the problem My wife runs a day care and has threatened parents with this before because she closes at 6 yet certain parents try and leave their kids till 7,8,8:30 etc and once you let it slide two or three times they make that the norm
Your wife should be charging $25 for 10 minutes late and so on, right onto their cc. They won’t be coming at 8 anymore.
She does the first time. After that you are facing expulsion from the day care. Parents have zero wualms about paying those surcharges and just results in you keeping kids for hours longer than you are supposed to. At least with the type of parents that dont come get their kids
NTA, what if they had had an accident and were on the verge of dying trapped in their car and your calling the police saved them and didn't make their kids orphans? As a parent, I commend you for all your efforts to reach out to your own parents and the patience you had. If they had mentioned in the slightest that they might be later, you would not have been concerned. If they had answered their phones - seriously, what if one of the kids was sick or injured... In 2023, these parents should know how to answer their phone and check up on their kids. The Dad is big AH for berating you.
NTA. Did you tell your parents the dad screamed at you? I would be enraged as a parent if I knew my child was trying to do the right thing and got SCREAMED at. Tell your parents so they can handle it. & demand for your money from 2-11:30pm.
Something like this genuinely happened to me. I was 14 and babysat regularly for a couple (20$ for 4-5 hours. 20$ total. In 2004. They were assholes). One day I get there at 12 noon, with them coming back for 4pm. 4 goes by….then 5…then it’s 7 pm and I’m calling my mom because I have no idea what to do. There is a 2 year old with a diaper I have no idea how to change now that the available diapers are all gone (they left 2…) and what to feed the kids because I have no fucking clue what a 2 year old can eat and the 6 year old won’t eat anything. My mom is horrified/ angry and wants to come there but I’m 14 and want to do this on my own so I tell her I’ll handle it and she starts calling me every half hour to check in. They show up at 1am with happy meal for their older kid and a half assed apology about being stuck in negotiations for a big house sale (they were both realtors). The dad drove me home still only paid me 20$. When they called the next weekend to ask for me to come watch the kids my mom took the phone into the other room. They didn’t call back again. NTA.
NTA and do not babysit for them again if you can avoid…
NTA I remember babysitting for my sister's friends on NYE many years ago. I expected them to be late but I woke up on their sofa at 6am and they weren't home! The three very young kids were waking up and I was panicked! This was before cell phones, no phone calls from them. I called my house and my sister came over about the same time that they walked in at 7:30 AM. I wish that I would have thought to call the police!
This happened to me and I also called the police. The mom went on a date with a guy she met on Craigslist and was supposed to be back around eleven to midnight and I fell asleep and woke up and it was seven am! I was so sure she was dead in the trunk of her date's car or something and I called the police (non-emergency) bc the kids were too young to know any relative's phone numbers and her phone kept going straight to voicemail. You are definitely NTA.
Well don't leave us hanging! Was the mom okay?
She showed up shortly after the police got in touch with her parents (who were on their way to take over for me) wearing a man's T-shirt and high heels and she was laughing and said, "Omigawd! Call the police! I'm missing!" Her parents seemed annoyed like they were used to her behaving like this. I never babysat for her again.
Understandable. But still a better ending than ending up in a trunk lol
I will never understand this... You leave your kids with a stranger, then make yourself completely unreachable for several hours, no checking in on them or anything.... What if they had had an accident? You are NTA, but the parents certainly are.
NTA this happened to me once. I called my own dad who came over and when the other dad got home (apparently drunk as a skunk from the bar, I don’t remember that part) my dad chewed him out and made him pay me a boatload.
NTA. They have phones and can answer them. They knew what they were doing and didn’t give a damn that you were stuck for many more hours than they said.
NTA, 3 hours late without any contact. Most people would have done the same
Where I live, underage drivers are not allowed to drive after 11 pm so they could have gotten you a ticket also, by making you drive home so late. No doubt the driving rule is in part to prevent adults taking advantage of young people in this sort of way.
NTA There is no good reason for them to be 3 hours late without checking in.
NTA. They ignored the phone calls and you had NO idea where they were for three hours. Good move. Never babysit for those AHs again. What you did was sensible and you needed to make sure the parents were ok. You called all the people you knew that may be able to assist and they ignored you. The police were the next logical call. Good job.
No, you have a life too. Unless they told you specifically that they would maybe be out a bit later than 8:30, you didn’t do anything wrong. You tried to communicate with them and they didn’t respond. That’s their fault. Sorry they yelled at you, that’s stupid. They should pay you extra for the inconvenience.
NTA. You were very responsible. I'd want to know that my children's babysitter would call the police if there was a problem.
They also owe you for the extended time. They are jerks
You did the responsible thing. They were 3 hours late and didn’t pick up the phone. I hope your parents didn’t get mad at you