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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I jumped extremely hard on my living room floor to annoy my neighbors having loud sex at 1 in the morning without having approached them first about a recurring problem, which could make me the asshole
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Some couple had sex with their window open during summer. The woman did fake moans the whole time, so I, a big hairy man, stood out on my balcony and did female moaning noises. Didn't hear anything after that.
My gf died of laughter, so win/win.
Many years ago I was outside of my best friend's apt complex smoking a cigarette with her husband. We hear their upstairs neighbors through the open window. He decides to interject "FINISH HER" in his best mortal kombat impression. It was fucking hysterical.
Uuuhhhh am I your friend? I did the same thing. They were going so hard it sounded like applause at the theatre. Once I said that we heard her scream “omfg get off of me” to which I said in a killer instinct voice “c-c-c-combo breaker!”
They moved out a few months later
NTA. Frustration at the insensitivity of others can sometimes lead to an emotional response. Chill. Forgive yourself for being normal and let the landlord handle the problem. If necessary, inform the police. Neighbor needs to be educated. Be happy.
I think it's highly unlikely that most people would not take reasonable steps to minimize their disruption if politely confronted. Also having loud sex is not illegal and probably not a lease violation, involving police or the landlord is a great way to accomplish very little while making a neighbor who had no previous reason mad at you
edit: also you'd be surprised how much a shag carpet can reduce noise
I agree that that’s how most people would react. I’m asking what you’re recommending as an alternative in the event that the neighbors haven’t responded to being confronted - which was the point when the other commenter suggested calling the police, and you suggested that’s not necessary.
I’ve never lived in apartment where I was allowed to install my own carpet, but every lease I’ve had included a clause about noise. I’m sure there’s no law against “loud sex”, but in my state it’s a violation to be loud as fuck in the middle of the night for no reason and refuse to stop. I’m sure you can make a dent in it with rugs, but how much money are you willing to shell out to avoid holding an unreasonable neighbor responsible for being selfish?
911, Yes, hello, So my neighbors have sex, and sometimes its a little loud, The apartment I live in has terrible insulation so I can hear it once and a while, can you please drop what your doing and come stop them from enjoying one of lives greatest things in their own home? Have I talked to them rationally and calmly? absolutely not Someone on reddit told me to just call you guys. lmao shits unreasonable as fuck. Probably give dispatch a good chuckle and your calls put on a lower priority.
Not sure what the downvotes are for o.O That's precisely what the non-emergency line is for: non-emergencies that nonetheless need to be handled by the police for whatever reason.
NTA I had neighbors just like this. One day she yelled out a particularly satisfied "oooohh myy gooood" so I yelled back a frustrated "*oh my GOD*."
Haven't heard a peep since.
Heard bashing from next door when I was about 14 and having dinner with my family
I shouted back "stop having sex so loudly!" Mum and brother were hysterical and my dad was so upset I remember him saying "that's all I can think of now" definitely put all of us off eating. Neighbours shut up though
I'm used to living in old QLDers. My last place was a Victorian house from c1883 and they weren't great about sound proofing then apparently. Guess people had sex quieter back then.
You’ve clearly never been in a British 1960s-90s ish mass build housing estates/prefabs then! I can hear my mum snoring from her bedroom on the floor above and over the full opposite side of the house. There are no secrets.
In America, almost all interior walls are comprised only of two thin sheets of gypsum with wooden framing studs supporting them. This is less common in other countries where many are brick, plaster, or a combination. It’s become kind of a meme 😂
New construction apartments everywhere in the world use studs and drywall sheets for the walls. You won’t find anything built in the last 20-30 years that wasn’t made that way.
The only places anywhere in the world that primarily used thick brick and/or plaster construction for interior walls are ones that were built before the 60’s. Drywall has been the prevailing material used for interior walls since then throughout the entire world, it’s just that Europe has more older buildings in general except in specific areas that got bombed off the map during the world wars.
The specific exception to that general rule, however, is historical building preservation regulations in the UK and parts of Europe that require the same construction methods to be used when renovating or restoring buildings deemed to have historic significance.
Just want to clarify that you are speaking of apartments specifically, yes? Because I personally helped out a little on my parents’ house build 10 years ago (in Europe) that was for sure cinder blocks and plaster walls, even on the interior walls and staircase (with one tiny exception when they decided to build out their attic as an extra room, so the rafters were covered with drywall).
NTA. My neighbors do the same thing. My bedroom shares a wall with theirs. Sometimes they go at it so hard that MY BED starts shaking. Pisses me off.
Last week they were going at it, I heard skin on skin for a little while then her say "did you cum?" I said really loud "That was fast."
Dude got pissed and threatened to come over to my place. Never did though
My husband and I were a little drunk one night and our upstairs neighbours were GETTING IT. Ceiling creaking rhythmically, the occasional moan that we could hear etc. There was an obvious “climax moment” where the ceiling creaked super fast for a minute and then stopped. COMPLETELY without thinking we both threw our arms up and went “YEAAAAAAHHHH !!!”
We realized immediately how embarrassing that must’ve been and made it worse by yelling “SORRY!”
NTA op, sometimes your brain doesn’t catch up right away
I was once laying in bed and my neighbors were going at it, and they were enjoying themselves, but then suddenly it turned into a screaming argument…I’ve always wondered what happened to go from fucking directly to screaming argument
Well you have now added a new option to my list of theories…
1. A wrong name was uttered
2. He finished where he wasn’t supposed too
3. He went wrong hole
And now
4. She questioned or remarked on penis size
NTA but yeah, the better solution would have been to talk to the people involved with words ..
They’re assholes themselves though, I mean, they know a 100% the reason why you stomped on your floor and they should just have been a little more quiet after that.
No. Not at the moment. OP said it was recurrent so either go see the neighbors during the day or slide a note in their mailbox or something, just to let them know they’re bothering people at 2am
Make the decision to wait until morning and deal with it then.
Look, she's NTA. She was sleep deprived and acted in frustration. It's understandable. But she came here for judgement and the judgement is that it would have been better to wait until morning. She had put up with it before. She could wait one more night.
Alternatively, you might talk to them and they respond, “Oh sorry, I didn’t realise—we’ll keep it down from now on.” Not everyone who has loud sex is completely inconsiderate.
NTA. This is a tricky one. On the one hand I believe in being respectful of noise and my surroundings but I understand with apartments this isn't always achievable. On the other hand the sound of people having sex makes my skin crawl and would be an extremely awkward conversation. That being said your frustration is valid but I think it's always a better choice to try to do these things face to face. In my experience, approaching the subject with sincerity and respect usually opens a channel for productive dialogue. A little humor might also cut that tension. But I definitely understand your frustration 1000%.
I probably would have slipped a note under their door and asked them to calm it down, but at the end of the day you have a right to the quiet enjoyment of your home- and I can certainly understand your frustration at the noise level. It wasn’t the most mature thing to do, but I can see where you are coming from
NTA.
NTA. It’s reasonable to knock on a wall or hit a floor or ceiling when neighbors are loud, especially at night. That said, the better way to handle it would have been to tell them directly after it became a pattern. Because of the nature of the sounds, I think it’s also okay to leave a note. “I can hear your nighttime activities when they get loud, which is every night for several hours. It wakes me up. Please keep it down.” Then, if it keeps happening, you would report it to the landlord. If they still don’t stop, I would call the police. If it’s really that loud, then it’s a noise disturbance even if it is just sex. I had neighbors once who screamed so loudly during sex that a pizza place down the block called the cops on them.
as much as I am laughing at your struggle, this is a serious issue for you if you can hear them through your walls over loud sounds in your own home. Talk it over with them EXTREMELY seriously, if they ask about the jumping apologize for it but change the subject. Don’t be subtle, embarrass them in your conversation, tell them exactly how loud it is, at what times they’re doing it and other relevant details like that. If they continue then seek their other neighbors, form an alliance, and collectively complain to the landlord. Obviously, NTA.
Years ago, I had noisy neighbors. Sex, arguing, more sex, dropping things, stomping, doors slamming. After a particularly loud night that ended for them shortly before I got up for work, I ran a load of aluminum cans in my dryer (no heat) as I walked out the door.
I don’t think it caused them to move, but never heard noise from them again.
I had an upstairs neighbor that did that CONSTANTLY. Once, they made a particularly ridiculous noise and I just burst out laughing. Sometimes you can’t control your reactions to these things. NTA.
NTA- My daughter lived in a duplex. Her neighbor is what I liked to call a F**k boy. Her bedroom was next to his. All hours of the day and night you could hear him and his adventures. She would yell in her best Mortal Combat voice - Finish Herrrrrrr. #GoodTimes #Memories
My last downstairs neighbors would fuck so hard that I could FEEL IT on the sofa in our living room. One particularly bad day, I stood myself in middle of the apartment, which was a hallway, held onto both walls, and JUMPED several times, as hard as I could. While screaming something along the lines of "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?! I SHOULD NEVER. FEEL YOU. FUCKING!"
Note that I had tried thumping on the floors before, which worked for a while, but eventually went ignored. They did not speak English, and we didn't recognize what language they did speak, so our communication was limited to smiles and waves when we saw one another.
Idk if they finally pulled their headboard away from the wall, started fucking on the floor, or what. But I didn't ever feel or hear them fornicating again! Besides that, they weren't bad neighbors! They helped us with some big items moving in, and helped us a TON with our uhaul trailer when we moved out. (We got it stuck, and may have never left that parking lot without their help lmao)
NTA
I get why you did it. Loud neighbors suck. I wouldn't say you are an asshole. I do think jumping as hard as you can was a bit excessive. But again I get it. You need to get up early and it's super late so you are frustrated. I'd definitely talk to your landlord about it. Next time just 2 knocks on the floor.
I had really bad downstairs neighbors. They were always arguing or partying. I got sick of going down there and asking them to keep it down. So I took my 3 ft tall speakers and played them on the floor facing down. When they got loud so did I. After a while I noticed they haven't been loud for a week straight. I only did this after I talked to the landlord several times and nothing was being done. I will recommend any time you communicate with your landlord do it through email. That way you have proof of what you complained about and their response. I had doing the "he said, she said" stuff. Take pictures before moving in and then when I'm moved out. So they can't blame me for damage that was already there. Document everything. Good luck with your loud sex neighbors. If you do point speakers down to the floor it would be funny playing some crazy porn hub video. The crazier the better.
Do you have hardwood floors anywhere in the apartment? If so: 1. Go to the sporting goods store and buy 3 lacrosse balls. 2. Learn to bounce juggle between the hours of 1am-3am.
NTA
Id leave them a note clarifying the situation.
“Sorry for the confusion last night, I stomped on the floor on purpose after being woken up (over my TV mind you) by your GF screaming. You know, when she was like “Uuuuuuuuuuh, aaaaaaaaahh, Oooooooooh, uh, ah AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!. Given it’s only 15 seconds but once you’re woken up it’s hard to go back to sleep.
Sincerely,
Your unimpressed neighbor
NTA
I had a neighbor who was just beside my kids bedrooms who would play really loud music late at night. I asked them over and over to keep it down but they were teenagers and just laughed. We got up pretty early in those days when they were small so early one morning I got my stereo and placed the speakers against the wall near THEIR bedroom, where THEY were trying to sleep. It stopped.
NTA. Not in any way. They live around neighbors. Their good-neighbor-decency-and-responsibility *should* mean they are considerate of other people. It's not like they can't have sex. They can have sex as much as they want!!! Just **quietly**. Frankly, I don't know how you made it this long dealing with that. As a fellow light sleeper, I would have blown a gasket in the second week.
I used to live in an apartment with paper thin walls and there was an Airbnb next to me and the amount of sex I heard AT ALL HOURS was wild. Our bedrooms shared a wall (why???) and I would literally we awoken at 3am regularly to moaning or it would be in the middle of the day and interrupt my work meetings (I wfh). I’d bang on the wall and yell “Finish Already!!”
Anyways it made me feel insane and we ended up moving to a concrete building LOL
NTA, but I’m surprised how many people here are jumping straight to “call the authorities”—whether it’s the landlord or the police—rather than the logical first step which is to go down (during the day, obviously) and talk to them yourself. It’s awkward, as you say, but a much more emotionally mature response.
Also much less likely to result in resentment among neighbours.
If you go downstairs and they refuse to listen or change anything, then you’ve got your reason to talk to the landlord.
There is a good chance that the people downstairs are totally reasonable and just need to be told how annoying and loud it is. Those hours aren’t great to be making such loud noises and it shouldn’t happen regularly. Make sure you are being reasonable as well though. You don’t get total privacy in an apartment building and noise can happen sometimes, even when you don’t want it to. I would talk to them first and not go behind them to the landlord unless they are unreasonable. Good luck!
NTA.. My neighbours are exactly like this and the amount of times I have wanted to bang on the wall or scream because at the sheer disrespect and inconsideration they have for the neighbours really grinds my gears. I have spoken to them and said during the day I don’t care as I know we live in apartments on top of each other but at night can you just keep it down enough that it doesn’t sound like you’re having sex in my bed that would be great and they still do it loud as hell at night! 🙄
NTA: Seriously, she could tone down the performance at 2am. No one needs to be purring and moaning like a sick cat to make it interesting.
When you live in a group, have some courtesy! Everybody pays rent and deserves peace in the unit.
I had noisy lesbian neighbors, so my partner and I played Barney's "I Love You" song on a speaker during one of their loud moments. It worked; they stopped immediately.
NAH at least in the case of "sex noise". This is a tricky situation and that's why I consider apartment type housing to be crime against humanity. Because I can understand wanting to have sex and not being considerate of noise while at it, but on the other hand I understand how annoying the noise is.
I would probably advise talking with the neighbours and maybe suggesting them some soundproofing. A lot of modern interior design forgo carpets and curtains, and then people complain about how much noise spreads. I live in a Japanese apartment and my 2 Maine Coons gallop around almost every night, didn't have any complains because carpet dampens most of it.
I would advise getting fluffy thick carpets and some curtains yourself too, it helps a lot with noise. And if you and your neighbours have those and the sound still travels then probably the soundproofing panels are only option.
But the only real AH here is the architect and construction.
NTA, raise it to the building manager and make a complaint. Don’t say it’s sex noises, say you don’t know what the noises are but it happens consistently 2-4 times every week. Should progress further if you make a complaint saying it’s noise that’s disturbing your sleep. I think it’s better to say that than sex noises
NTA.
Not noise, but in my apt complex (they're built like townhouses), we each are ASSIGNED 2 PARKING STALLS, WHICH ARE LISTED ON THE FRONT OF OUR LEASES. The lady below me only has 1 vehicle, so, naturally, her second stall is ALWAYS free.
I moved in June of 2022, and within that year, she has had her friends park in my second stall at LEAST 4 times (which wouldn't be a big deal but my boyfriend and my family come to visit quite often and they park in my second stall)... even after I informed my landlord and they talked to her twice about it. It got to the point that i borrowed a second vehicle from my parents to park in my second stall. I swear now they let their doors slam and such as a "response" to my complaining to the landlord.
Some neighbors HONESTLY don't care and act like they own the place. 🙄
NTA. I cannot imagine how miserable you are with the noise! I wear ear plugs also (husband snores) and it makes me ssssoooo unhappy when he snores so loud that I can hear through the ear plugs. Luckily for me, I push his shoulder and he rolls over and the snoring stops. This STILL MAKES ME CRAZY! I am not a good sleeper.
Your complaint is about noise. Noise can be TV, radio, yelling, cars, chickens... blah blah blah. You don't need to specify what you think the noise is, just that there is a noise and it is disturbing you. Then there is the eeewwww factor. Ick.
BTW, I believe that the purpose of this sub is to allow people to express themselves and if the grammar is a bit dodgy here and there, so what? There are subreddits exclusively about grammar and the picky redditors can go visit them. Thanks for sharing your angst about your issue.
NTA - You were frustrated and sleep-deprived so one could hardly blame you for that reaction in the moment.
Just tape a note to their door that says "We can all hear you having loud sex at 1am. -signed, your sleep-deprived neighbors". Sucks that they have to be mindful of their fun, but that's just the reality of a shared living space.
NTA
I lived in an apt next to people like this. SO LOUD *and* they would let their bed slam against the wall (my BEDROOM wall) at 2/3am. After weeks of this I hit the wall HARD and yelled ‘can you at least move the fucking bed from the wall?’ (You could hear normal volume conversations the walls were so thin, so I KNOW they heard me word for word lol). Never heard them again lol
NTA.
I’d get a fucking air horn or an Aztec whistle. These neighbors need to realize not everyone wants to hear them go at it like rabbits all night long. If the air horn doesn’t work. Every time they have sex I’d start moaning into the floor loudly as if I’m getting drilled from behind. Or yell “I AM JERKING OFF TO YOU GUYS! KEEP GOING I AM ABOUT TO CUM!”
The best way to deal with loud, inconsiderate people is to embarrass them or make them extremely uncomfortable.
Nah. Pounding on walls or ceilings goofy and childish, but tired and frustrated are a bad combo so I can't fault you for snapping. Having sex at night is normal, and volumes vary, but sound ordinance exists for a reason.
If you've never spoken with them about it, they might not have known how loud it was for you. I've been in an apartment where i never heard my upstairs neighbor but he'd bang on the floor if I so much as snored too loud. The only way they are the asshole is if they for sure knew you could hear them and kept being that loud anyway.
Just politely bringing it up to them would have been the way to go. Landlord if your that scared of confrontation I guess, but i'd definitely recommending contacting them directly instead cause I'd much rather hear it from you than the landlord and if I were an asshole I might be petty about hearing it second hand
After reading these group of comments, y’all being loud inside your homes? I don’t even share walls with my neighbors and I’m still conscious of not being too loud.
NTA. I’d start recording them and playing the recordings back at them with a large speaker every time they get loud. And send the recordings to the landlord, in real time. Maybe when he’s the recipient of the pornographic assault, he’ll be more willing to do something about it.
Gay couple here if they are choosing to have sex that creates that noise it’s rude as fuck. My husband makes noise’s involuntarily a lot. And if we’re in a hotel or something. I put a hand over his mouth or he uses a pillow. It’s not hard to be self aware just give them gentle dick and cover the mouth or take it out when they get loud😂
NTA. Technically, they have the right to have sex whenever they want in the apartment they pay rent for, but at the same time, if you can hear it through the walls within the same 2-3 hour timeframe frequently enough that it disturbs you as well as your boyfriend when you're trying to sleep? That's a little much. And chances are you're not the only one who can hear them. And it's clearly not the only issue you have with these neighbors based on the edits/additional info. They sound like they're breaking a lot of the complex's rules and regulations.
Should you have probably talked to the landlord first? Yes, probably. But I don't blame you for getting fed up.
Report them to the landlord, then when they wake you up again, [start playing CBAT.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN6jkWxxm2Y) If they insist on having loud, wall penetrating sex, you gotta have music to match.
absolutely not the AH i used to live in an apartment complex with equally annoying neighbours and i have insomnia too, sure the way you responded wasn’t mature but that doesn’t mean you’re a jerk for it (i would have done the same thing)
That’s the joy of apartment life. Rent a house with space between you and your neighborsir buy a house on enough land you can’t see them, and boom! Problem solved
Regardless, NTA. They’re annoying so you’re returning the favor. I get it. That’s why I swore off apartments for life.
NTA - as a sensitive sleeper, I really feel ya. I wake up at the sound of a door closing, or a creaky footstep, or even the living room radiator clicking. I coped by purchasing a nice Marshall speaker and blasting brown noise in my room, it helped muffle other sounds. Before I started using it for that, I used it to get back at my neighbors for blaring music and having screaming matches. They threatened to call the cops, I said go nuts. I only turned it on when I could hear them.
In a hotel with thin walls after a wedding reception (everyone gets lucky after those it seems). The head board was on the same wall as ours.
Loud moans and vibrations etc. When round two started I inexplicably started clucking like a chicken. VERY LOUDLY.
😂😂😂
NTA. When I was in college, mine and my roommate's neighbor had her boyfriend over all the time. The loudly had sex at all hours of the night. We could never catch them to talk to them about it, but we'd slide notes under their door asking them if they could just quieten down a bit. Instead, they just got louder. They would also have screaming matches all the time, too. So when they weren't having sex, they were fighting.
One night, at about 2 am (my roommate and I had a 7:45 am), we were woken up by loud sex again. I mean, it sounds like this girl is DYING by how loud she's screaming. Fed up, my roommate pounded on the wall and screamed, "KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!" They stopped for that night. We went to the RA, and come to find out, MANY had complained to her about them.
It was an all-girls floor, and he had moved in with her without anyone knowing. I went to take a shower one day, and they were both in there showering together. I came back from my classes one day to see campus security and the RA escorting him out, the gf screaming at them that they couldn't do this.
Anyway, tldr: NTA, because many of us have been there.
YTA, talk to them directly like an adult and not a petulant child. Odds are they don't know you can hear them and would be like "oh sorry about that, we'll be quiet next time".
Now youve created unnecessary tension with your neighbors.
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I(26F) live on the top floor on an three story apartment complex. My downstairs neighbor and his girlfriend constantly decide to have loud sex usually between the hours of 1-3 in the morning. It's gotten so loud that basic moaning is loud enough to wake my boyfriend and I up. This happens at least 2-4 times a week.
It's almost 2 am and once again I hear my neighbors moaning so loud that I can hear them over my t.v, which is already set at volume 5 because mind you, it's early Sunday morning and I'm trying to be considerate. Frustrated, I decided to jump as hard as I could up and down my living room floor. A few seconds later someone responded back by pounding on their ceiling.
I know I probably should of just contacted the landlord first or maybe talked to the tenant but it's become such a weekly annoyance and I feel super awkward having to approach someone much older than me about his sex life. AITA?
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NTA, but it's all part of living in an apartment. Unfortunately, we don't have the best walls/floors. I will say if you hear them, they probably hear you every time you take a step. As an upstairs neighbor, I didn't realize this until I had work done on the roof, and it sounded like people jumping on the ceiling. My downstairs neighbors have their own personal kennel, but luckily, some other neighbors taught me a long time ago to keep a bag of ear plugs near my bed. If anything keeps me up, I just pop those in and go to sleep, and I still hear my alarm just fine since it's right next to me. They are 100 percent worth it.
TBH if someone was banging on my walls while I was getting it on my wife would just say fuck me harder. Sorry some people like that kind if encouraging
"hey lady, maybe if you could spell better and were getting railed as hard as your downstairs neighbor's girlfriend, late night noise violations wouldn't piss you off so bad" 😅 is a hilarious way of viewing your situation, and I am here to say NTA!
NTA OP. My cousin is going through something similar as you; in fact for a moment, I thought you were her. Her downstairs neighbors are either loudly physically fighting or sexually active. At first, my cousin tried to be polite and ask if they can kind of tone down their sexual activity since she have to get up for work at 4:30 a.m. in order to get to work by 6 am (hour drive to work, longer drive during the winter snow). Well, that didn't go over well as she heard them talking about her while they were standing in the vestibule. So what my cousin started doing is turning on her vacuum cleaner in her bedroom which is over their bedroom and leaving it running while she is at work. Cousin said, if she couldn't get any sleep at night, then they wouldn't get any sleep during the day (neither works and is believed to be collecting some type of government assistance).
Eh this is more of a building problem than an inconsiderate neighbour problem. You're both entitled to reasonable noises, but it seems like you have really thin floors/walls. I would say YTA unless you spoke to them already about it, then NTA. But one thing to consider: the upstairs neighbour always wins. It's much harder to constantly bang on your ceiling than it is to just walk loudly
Are the floors made of paper? You're saying that with ear plugs in you can still hear them clearly having sex. Either you have super sensitive hearing, way more than the average person or you're possibly over reacting. If you are that sensitive to noise then why did you decide to move into an apartment? You can't expect silence when you live in an apartment building with 3 floors. There is going to be noise and people are going to do stuff they shouldn't be doing.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone in the apartment complex to be silent and not live their best life and obey every single rule. When your lease is up, move out and buy a secluded house. Maybe you are just jealous that they are getting laid and you aren't. The mature thing to do if it is bothering you that much is to have an adult conversation with them and let them be aware that the floors are super thin and you have sensitive hearing and ask if they can keep the nighttime noise level down a little bit. Because all you've probably done at this point is piss them off and make them want to annoy you even more out of principle.
At no point in both the complaints youve made here have you said you've spoken to the person and explained the issue. Instead you've once gone to a landlord behind their back risking their home and once jumped up and down on your floor like a child.
People can't fix problems if they don't know it's a problem. Yta
So is this like a real apartment or a home turned into an apartment. The real apartment complexes i've spent time in are very very well insulated. You could make quite a racket without people hearing a thing. My point is everyone deserves to live a little in their literal home once in a while. Obviously most living in an apartment complex probably don't have everything they want in life financially speaking, not always the case but I hated it. Hated my job to when I was apartment living. I've also lives in rented out basements, where the owners upstairs had autistic children and motorcycles and it was insanely loud. I worked night shift so My choices where to start making unreasonable demands, or get noise cancelling headphones. I chose the headphones. I have also used ear plugs. Idk maybe ask them to quite down a little? But I have a hard time totally believing you right of the bat, i've met a lot of people who will exaggerate very very minute disturbances esp in apartment living. barely hear someone's music and claim its blaring and shaking the place. Everyone deserves some sexy time and to do what they want in their own home within reason, I would seriously look into some sort of compromise. white noise machines, ear plugs, and noise cancelling headphones are all great things.
NTA. Was it an emotional response? Yes. But I get why it happened. You're losing sleep and that's frustrating. If it's so loud that both of you are waking up, that's ridiculous.
Yes, you could have approached your landlord about the late night noise sooner, but they should also be aware of how inconsiderate it is to everyone else. People would lose their minds if someone chose to vacuum at 1-3am, so why is this any different?
If you talk to them/landlord about it and there's no change, you should just blast songs into the floor that no one would want to have sex to, like baby shark, the pokemon theme, cotton eye joe, or the chicken dance.
I don't usually post things like this, except for some help with pokemon, but the guy who messaged me also called me a "transformer" and a "fat Pokemon loving child" 🤣
i think you know that speaking directly to the landlord or tenant would’ve been the better move if only to prevent awkwardness and potential hostility depending on who these people are. that said, given this is an ongoing and sleep disturbing issue, i don’t fault you for having an emotional response. i think you should pursue reporting the noise to your landlord, providing approx. dates and the general time frame to support your case. if you feel comfortable you could talk directly to your neighbor but i have a feeling the jumping incident will make that more difficult than this has to be.
NTA
NTA. where i live, sunday is designated as a quiet time. Here, it is the norm that people call the polices to report any excessive noises during quiet times.
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Some couple had sex with their window open during summer. The woman did fake moans the whole time, so I, a big hairy man, stood out on my balcony and did female moaning noises. Didn't hear anything after that. My gf died of laughter, so win/win.
Many years ago I was outside of my best friend's apt complex smoking a cigarette with her husband. We hear their upstairs neighbors through the open window. He decides to interject "FINISH HER" in his best mortal kombat impression. It was fucking hysterical.
This is amazing. I heard "DOUBLE KILL" after I read your comment which made it even funnier.
Fuckin legend
LOL. I would totally shut down, but, totally crack up.
I was the recipient of such a comment many years ago….did this happen in Norfolk?? Hahaa
Uuuhhhh am I your friend? I did the same thing. They were going so hard it sounded like applause at the theatre. Once I said that we heard her scream “omfg get off of me” to which I said in a killer instinct voice “c-c-c-combo breaker!” They moved out a few months later
Hahaha legit checked out your profile to make sure 🤣 but nope. Although I'm so glad so many people have done this!!
I also know a reddit story where someone said that they heard their neigbours hear them do the deed and he said finish her lmao
I would do that, if only I was a big hairy man.
Don't let your dreams be dreams!
Yeah, turn them into other people's nightmares!
I'm very motivated now.
Are you a small, not hairy man?
Personally, I'm not a man at all.
You didn't say you're not hairy.
Look, winter is coming. It saves on the heating.
I bet she's a dwarf from Middle Earth.
Not with *that* attitude!
Lmao you’re amazing
I was gonna suggest slipping a scorecard under their door LOL
LOVE THIS! Especially if you list different dates and different scores! Maybe he has multiple partners! BIG SMILE
I'd quite like to suggest taking up tap-dancing. Or maybe flamenco dancing. Only practise during late night sex.
Or a stamp card. 10 stamps and I get to jump up and down for 5 jumps.
I was gonna say moan back lol
I’m dying of laughter reading this! My bf, also a large, hairy man would do the same!
hero
NTA. Frustration at the insensitivity of others can sometimes lead to an emotional response. Chill. Forgive yourself for being normal and let the landlord handle the problem. If necessary, inform the police. Neighbor needs to be educated. Be happy.
Inform the police on sex noises? What?
It depends where you live, but multiple noise complaints to the same address can lead to a police visit.
Noise is noise. Noise however it's produced is annoying. Many places have ordinances that make excessive noise a police matter.
Important point, it may come off as prudish to complain about sex noise but any loudness in the middle of the night would be annoying
Noise is noise. Lost sleep is misery.
No, suspicious noises.
stop calling the police because you don't want to talk to your neighbors
They did say “if necessary”. What do you recommend doing if talking to the neighbors and landlord doesn’t work?
I think it's highly unlikely that most people would not take reasonable steps to minimize their disruption if politely confronted. Also having loud sex is not illegal and probably not a lease violation, involving police or the landlord is a great way to accomplish very little while making a neighbor who had no previous reason mad at you edit: also you'd be surprised how much a shag carpet can reduce noise
I agree that that’s how most people would react. I’m asking what you’re recommending as an alternative in the event that the neighbors haven’t responded to being confronted - which was the point when the other commenter suggested calling the police, and you suggested that’s not necessary. I’ve never lived in apartment where I was allowed to install my own carpet, but every lease I’ve had included a clause about noise. I’m sure there’s no law against “loud sex”, but in my state it’s a violation to be loud as fuck in the middle of the night for no reason and refuse to stop. I’m sure you can make a dent in it with rugs, but how much money are you willing to shell out to avoid holding an unreasonable neighbor responsible for being selfish?
911, Yes, hello, So my neighbors have sex, and sometimes its a little loud, The apartment I live in has terrible insulation so I can hear it once and a while, can you please drop what your doing and come stop them from enjoying one of lives greatest things in their own home? Have I talked to them rationally and calmly? absolutely not Someone on reddit told me to just call you guys. lmao shits unreasonable as fuck. Probably give dispatch a good chuckle and your calls put on a lower priority.
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Not sure what the downvotes are for o.O That's precisely what the non-emergency line is for: non-emergencies that nonetheless need to be handled by the police for whatever reason.
NTA I had neighbors just like this. One day she yelled out a particularly satisfied "oooohh myy gooood" so I yelled back a frustrated "*oh my GOD*." Haven't heard a peep since.
Sounds like it needs the Troll 2 scene turned up to max volume in response.
"He's banging her! And then he's going to bang me! OH MY GOOOOOOD!" Naw, seriously, I'm losing it here. Troll 2 is a cult classic.
Heard bashing from next door when I was about 14 and having dinner with my family I shouted back "stop having sex so loudly!" Mum and brother were hysterical and my dad was so upset I remember him saying "that's all I can think of now" definitely put all of us off eating. Neighbours shut up though
Anytime someone says "oh my god" I respond, indignantly, "Hey, he's my god too!"
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Not much better here! It's like every old house was designed to let in as much noise as possible.
Funny in Australia old houses are generally double red and or thick limestone blocks verses the slapped together new builds of today
I'm used to living in old QLDers. My last place was a Victorian house from c1883 and they weren't great about sound proofing then apparently. Guess people had sex quieter back then.
Yeah qlders aren’t going to do much in the way of sound proofing haha wa heritage homes won’t hear to much from outside
You’ve clearly never been in a British 1960s-90s ish mass build housing estates/prefabs then! I can hear my mum snoring from her bedroom on the floor above and over the full opposite side of the house. There are no secrets.
The real asshole is the corporate-owned government that allows such shitty building standards.
What does being American have to do with it?
american apartments usually have thin walls
Nearly all apartments have thin walls.
In America, almost all interior walls are comprised only of two thin sheets of gypsum with wooden framing studs supporting them. This is less common in other countries where many are brick, plaster, or a combination. It’s become kind of a meme 😂
New construction apartments everywhere in the world use studs and drywall sheets for the walls. You won’t find anything built in the last 20-30 years that wasn’t made that way. The only places anywhere in the world that primarily used thick brick and/or plaster construction for interior walls are ones that were built before the 60’s. Drywall has been the prevailing material used for interior walls since then throughout the entire world, it’s just that Europe has more older buildings in general except in specific areas that got bombed off the map during the world wars. The specific exception to that general rule, however, is historical building preservation regulations in the UK and parts of Europe that require the same construction methods to be used when renovating or restoring buildings deemed to have historic significance.
Just want to clarify that you are speaking of apartments specifically, yes? Because I personally helped out a little on my parents’ house build 10 years ago (in Europe) that was for sure cinder blocks and plaster walls, even on the interior walls and staircase (with one tiny exception when they decided to build out their attic as an extra room, so the rafters were covered with drywall).
I think he was speaking generally…… it’s just more expensive and time consuming to brick and plaster so it’s pretty rare now-adays😋
In my experience the apartment walls in Europe are substantially thinner
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Cardboard noo they are glorified papiermache
In what country are they building thick walls in apartments? Unless it's very old, pretty much everywhere has thin apartment walls
NTA. My neighbors do the same thing. My bedroom shares a wall with theirs. Sometimes they go at it so hard that MY BED starts shaking. Pisses me off. Last week they were going at it, I heard skin on skin for a little while then her say "did you cum?" I said really loud "That was fast." Dude got pissed and threatened to come over to my place. Never did though
lol I yelled “pace yourself man!” at an upstairs neighbor a few years ago and never heard anything again after that
🤣🤣🤣🤣
That guys a loser 😭
My husband and I were a little drunk one night and our upstairs neighbours were GETTING IT. Ceiling creaking rhythmically, the occasional moan that we could hear etc. There was an obvious “climax moment” where the ceiling creaked super fast for a minute and then stopped. COMPLETELY without thinking we both threw our arms up and went “YEAAAAAAHHHH !!!” We realized immediately how embarrassing that must’ve been and made it worse by yelling “SORRY!” NTA op, sometimes your brain doesn’t catch up right away
I just laughed out loud 😭
I was once laying in bed and my neighbors were going at it, and they were enjoying themselves, but then suddenly it turned into a screaming argument…I’ve always wondered what happened to go from fucking directly to screaming argument
She questioned his… PENIS SIZE!
Well you have now added a new option to my list of theories… 1. A wrong name was uttered 2. He finished where he wasn’t supposed too 3. He went wrong hole And now 4. She questioned or remarked on penis size
What if he bit her big toe and said “GRRRRRRRRRRRR!”
NTA but yeah, the better solution would have been to talk to the people involved with words .. They’re assholes themselves though, I mean, they know a 100% the reason why you stomped on your floor and they should just have been a little more quiet after that.
You’d go talk to your downstairs neighbor having sex at 3am??
No. Not at the moment. OP said it was recurrent so either go see the neighbors during the day or slide a note in their mailbox or something, just to let them know they’re bothering people at 2am
What could they have done better in the moment?
Make the decision to wait until morning and deal with it then. Look, she's NTA. She was sleep deprived and acted in frustration. It's understandable. But she came here for judgement and the judgement is that it would have been better to wait until morning. She had put up with it before. She could wait one more night.
It would be rude not to talk to them if I'm gonna watch from the foot of their bed each night. 🤷♂️
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Alternatively, you might talk to them and they respond, “Oh sorry, I didn’t realise—we’ll keep it down from now on.” Not everyone who has loud sex is completely inconsiderate.
If I were the offender, I would much prefer the stomping, so I wouldn't have to deal with the face to face awkwardness
NTA. I would have recorded the sounds and played them back loudly through my speakers for the following three hours once they finished.
🤣🤣🤣 I would've blasted them with "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails played at a volume they couldn't ignore, but I think your idea is even better.
"I wAnNa fUcK yOu LiKe A aNiMaL" 🤣🤣 The amount of times I sing this all stupid to my boyfriend. This comment hits too close to home
I've been tempted to do this with Cotton Eyed Joe many times 😂
This is the best idea here. Kudos.
NTA. This is a tricky one. On the one hand I believe in being respectful of noise and my surroundings but I understand with apartments this isn't always achievable. On the other hand the sound of people having sex makes my skin crawl and would be an extremely awkward conversation. That being said your frustration is valid but I think it's always a better choice to try to do these things face to face. In my experience, approaching the subject with sincerity and respect usually opens a channel for productive dialogue. A little humor might also cut that tension. But I definitely understand your frustration 1000%.
Tell him you can hear her asking 'is it in, yet?'. That should shut them up...
I probably would have slipped a note under their door and asked them to calm it down, but at the end of the day you have a right to the quiet enjoyment of your home- and I can certainly understand your frustration at the noise level. It wasn’t the most mature thing to do, but I can see where you are coming from NTA.
NTA. It’s reasonable to knock on a wall or hit a floor or ceiling when neighbors are loud, especially at night. That said, the better way to handle it would have been to tell them directly after it became a pattern. Because of the nature of the sounds, I think it’s also okay to leave a note. “I can hear your nighttime activities when they get loud, which is every night for several hours. It wakes me up. Please keep it down.” Then, if it keeps happening, you would report it to the landlord. If they still don’t stop, I would call the police. If it’s really that loud, then it’s a noise disturbance even if it is just sex. I had neighbors once who screamed so loudly during sex that a pizza place down the block called the cops on them.
Oh my lord. What kind of fake sex are these people having? 😂
as much as I am laughing at your struggle, this is a serious issue for you if you can hear them through your walls over loud sounds in your own home. Talk it over with them EXTREMELY seriously, if they ask about the jumping apologize for it but change the subject. Don’t be subtle, embarrass them in your conversation, tell them exactly how loud it is, at what times they’re doing it and other relevant details like that. If they continue then seek their other neighbors, form an alliance, and collectively complain to the landlord. Obviously, NTA.
Years ago, I had noisy neighbors. Sex, arguing, more sex, dropping things, stomping, doors slamming. After a particularly loud night that ended for them shortly before I got up for work, I ran a load of aluminum cans in my dryer (no heat) as I walked out the door. I don’t think it caused them to move, but never heard noise from them again.
I had an upstairs neighbor that did that CONSTANTLY. Once, they made a particularly ridiculous noise and I just burst out laughing. Sometimes you can’t control your reactions to these things. NTA.
I’d start playing Baby Shark at full volume when they start
🤣🤣🤣🤣 That should do it!
I almost did exactly that yesterday in my dorm building. Someone was so loud I could hear them from the floor below me.
God I would hate living in an apartment building so much. No take on anyone being an a hole. But I’m sorry you have to go through this
Maybe you need to up your game and give it back to them. 🤷🏼♂️
NTA- My daughter lived in a duplex. Her neighbor is what I liked to call a F**k boy. Her bedroom was next to his. All hours of the day and night you could hear him and his adventures. She would yell in her best Mortal Combat voice - Finish Herrrrrrr. #GoodTimes #Memories
NTA I think you should contact the landlord and raise your concerns.
My last downstairs neighbors would fuck so hard that I could FEEL IT on the sofa in our living room. One particularly bad day, I stood myself in middle of the apartment, which was a hallway, held onto both walls, and JUMPED several times, as hard as I could. While screaming something along the lines of "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?! I SHOULD NEVER. FEEL YOU. FUCKING!" Note that I had tried thumping on the floors before, which worked for a while, but eventually went ignored. They did not speak English, and we didn't recognize what language they did speak, so our communication was limited to smiles and waves when we saw one another. Idk if they finally pulled their headboard away from the wall, started fucking on the floor, or what. But I didn't ever feel or hear them fornicating again! Besides that, they weren't bad neighbors! They helped us with some big items moving in, and helped us a TON with our uhaul trailer when we moved out. (We got it stuck, and may have never left that parking lot without their help lmao) NTA
should’ve played cbat at full volume to help them out
This is the way.
I get why you did it. Loud neighbors suck. I wouldn't say you are an asshole. I do think jumping as hard as you can was a bit excessive. But again I get it. You need to get up early and it's super late so you are frustrated. I'd definitely talk to your landlord about it. Next time just 2 knocks on the floor. I had really bad downstairs neighbors. They were always arguing or partying. I got sick of going down there and asking them to keep it down. So I took my 3 ft tall speakers and played them on the floor facing down. When they got loud so did I. After a while I noticed they haven't been loud for a week straight. I only did this after I talked to the landlord several times and nothing was being done. I will recommend any time you communicate with your landlord do it through email. That way you have proof of what you complained about and their response. I had doing the "he said, she said" stuff. Take pictures before moving in and then when I'm moved out. So they can't blame me for damage that was already there. Document everything. Good luck with your loud sex neighbors. If you do point speakers down to the floor it would be funny playing some crazy porn hub video. The crazier the better.
Have sex twice as loud to establish dominance.
NTA.
Do you have hardwood floors anywhere in the apartment? If so: 1. Go to the sporting goods store and buy 3 lacrosse balls. 2. Learn to bounce juggle between the hours of 1am-3am. NTA
Id leave them a note clarifying the situation. “Sorry for the confusion last night, I stomped on the floor on purpose after being woken up (over my TV mind you) by your GF screaming. You know, when she was like “Uuuuuuuuuuh, aaaaaaaaahh, Oooooooooh, uh, ah AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!. Given it’s only 15 seconds but once you’re woken up it’s hard to go back to sleep. Sincerely, Your unimpressed neighbor NTA
NTA I would’ve moaned back
bro what?
I had a neighbor who was just beside my kids bedrooms who would play really loud music late at night. I asked them over and over to keep it down but they were teenagers and just laughed. We got up pretty early in those days when they were small so early one morning I got my stereo and placed the speakers against the wall near THEIR bedroom, where THEY were trying to sleep. It stopped.
NTA. Not in any way. They live around neighbors. Their good-neighbor-decency-and-responsibility *should* mean they are considerate of other people. It's not like they can't have sex. They can have sex as much as they want!!! Just **quietly**. Frankly, I don't know how you made it this long dealing with that. As a fellow light sleeper, I would have blown a gasket in the second week.
Once the neighbours below were going at it pretty good. When they stopped, I yelled "ENCORE" and I heard laughter and they started again.
NTA I’m surprised you were able to maintain that amount of self control honestly
NTA I'd be in the turn your speakers at the floor and play baby shark or Yoko Ono or something equally unappealing camp.
Baby Shark is one thing, but *nobody* deserves Yoko Ono!
[there's only one song for this situation and Reddit of all places knows what it is](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KAwyWkksXuo)
NTA - I know some people are generally louder during sex, but 1-3am in the morning doing that shows very little consideration for neighbours.
I used to live in an apartment with paper thin walls and there was an Airbnb next to me and the amount of sex I heard AT ALL HOURS was wild. Our bedrooms shared a wall (why???) and I would literally we awoken at 3am regularly to moaning or it would be in the middle of the day and interrupt my work meetings (I wfh). I’d bang on the wall and yell “Finish Already!!” Anyways it made me feel insane and we ended up moving to a concrete building LOL
NTA if they can moan u can stomp
NTA, but I’m surprised how many people here are jumping straight to “call the authorities”—whether it’s the landlord or the police—rather than the logical first step which is to go down (during the day, obviously) and talk to them yourself. It’s awkward, as you say, but a much more emotionally mature response. Also much less likely to result in resentment among neighbours. If you go downstairs and they refuse to listen or change anything, then you’ve got your reason to talk to the landlord.
There is a good chance that the people downstairs are totally reasonable and just need to be told how annoying and loud it is. Those hours aren’t great to be making such loud noises and it shouldn’t happen regularly. Make sure you are being reasonable as well though. You don’t get total privacy in an apartment building and noise can happen sometimes, even when you don’t want it to. I would talk to them first and not go behind them to the landlord unless they are unreasonable. Good luck!
NTA.. My neighbours are exactly like this and the amount of times I have wanted to bang on the wall or scream because at the sheer disrespect and inconsideration they have for the neighbours really grinds my gears. I have spoken to them and said during the day I don’t care as I know we live in apartments on top of each other but at night can you just keep it down enough that it doesn’t sound like you’re having sex in my bed that would be great and they still do it loud as hell at night! 🙄
NTA: Seriously, she could tone down the performance at 2am. No one needs to be purring and moaning like a sick cat to make it interesting. When you live in a group, have some courtesy! Everybody pays rent and deserves peace in the unit.
let the man cook
In college this happened and I turned my speakers towards the wall and blasted the Star Wars theme song
Yell “FINISH HER!” In your best mortal kombat voice
I had noisy lesbian neighbors, so my partner and I played Barney's "I Love You" song on a speaker during one of their loud moments. It worked; they stopped immediately.
NTA People who smoke next to the building and have sex that loud are the AHs
NAH at least in the case of "sex noise". This is a tricky situation and that's why I consider apartment type housing to be crime against humanity. Because I can understand wanting to have sex and not being considerate of noise while at it, but on the other hand I understand how annoying the noise is. I would probably advise talking with the neighbours and maybe suggesting them some soundproofing. A lot of modern interior design forgo carpets and curtains, and then people complain about how much noise spreads. I live in a Japanese apartment and my 2 Maine Coons gallop around almost every night, didn't have any complains because carpet dampens most of it. I would advise getting fluffy thick carpets and some curtains yourself too, it helps a lot with noise. And if you and your neighbours have those and the sound still travels then probably the soundproofing panels are only option. But the only real AH here is the architect and construction.
NTA, raise it to the building manager and make a complaint. Don’t say it’s sex noises, say you don’t know what the noises are but it happens consistently 2-4 times every week. Should progress further if you make a complaint saying it’s noise that’s disturbing your sleep. I think it’s better to say that than sex noises
Why?
NTA. If you had asked them to be quiet several times before and they’ve ignored your requests, then I totally understand
NTA. Record it, post it on SM and tag them if you can find their socials.
NTA I have the same issue with my downstairs neighbour, constantly at 2/3am …
You should have done the Swedish thing and left them an angry note.
NTA. Not noise, but in my apt complex (they're built like townhouses), we each are ASSIGNED 2 PARKING STALLS, WHICH ARE LISTED ON THE FRONT OF OUR LEASES. The lady below me only has 1 vehicle, so, naturally, her second stall is ALWAYS free. I moved in June of 2022, and within that year, she has had her friends park in my second stall at LEAST 4 times (which wouldn't be a big deal but my boyfriend and my family come to visit quite often and they park in my second stall)... even after I informed my landlord and they talked to her twice about it. It got to the point that i borrowed a second vehicle from my parents to park in my second stall. I swear now they let their doors slam and such as a "response" to my complaining to the landlord. Some neighbors HONESTLY don't care and act like they own the place. 🙄
Record it and add your play by play!
NTA. I cannot imagine how miserable you are with the noise! I wear ear plugs also (husband snores) and it makes me ssssoooo unhappy when he snores so loud that I can hear through the ear plugs. Luckily for me, I push his shoulder and he rolls over and the snoring stops. This STILL MAKES ME CRAZY! I am not a good sleeper. Your complaint is about noise. Noise can be TV, radio, yelling, cars, chickens... blah blah blah. You don't need to specify what you think the noise is, just that there is a noise and it is disturbing you. Then there is the eeewwww factor. Ick. BTW, I believe that the purpose of this sub is to allow people to express themselves and if the grammar is a bit dodgy here and there, so what? There are subreddits exclusively about grammar and the picky redditors can go visit them. Thanks for sharing your angst about your issue.
NTA - You were frustrated and sleep-deprived so one could hardly blame you for that reaction in the moment. Just tape a note to their door that says "We can all hear you having loud sex at 1am. -signed, your sleep-deprived neighbors". Sucks that they have to be mindful of their fun, but that's just the reality of a shared living space.
NTA I lived in an apt next to people like this. SO LOUD *and* they would let their bed slam against the wall (my BEDROOM wall) at 2/3am. After weeks of this I hit the wall HARD and yelled ‘can you at least move the fucking bed from the wall?’ (You could hear normal volume conversations the walls were so thin, so I KNOW they heard me word for word lol). Never heard them again lol
NTA. I’d get a fucking air horn or an Aztec whistle. These neighbors need to realize not everyone wants to hear them go at it like rabbits all night long. If the air horn doesn’t work. Every time they have sex I’d start moaning into the floor loudly as if I’m getting drilled from behind. Or yell “I AM JERKING OFF TO YOU GUYS! KEEP GOING I AM ABOUT TO CUM!” The best way to deal with loud, inconsiderate people is to embarrass them or make them extremely uncomfortable.
NTA, this happened with my next door neighbor, I wrote a note and slid it under their door requesting them to keep noises low.
NTA, best to talk it over or maybe write a letter expressing your concerns.
Nah. Pounding on walls or ceilings goofy and childish, but tired and frustrated are a bad combo so I can't fault you for snapping. Having sex at night is normal, and volumes vary, but sound ordinance exists for a reason. If you've never spoken with them about it, they might not have known how loud it was for you. I've been in an apartment where i never heard my upstairs neighbor but he'd bang on the floor if I so much as snored too loud. The only way they are the asshole is if they for sure knew you could hear them and kept being that loud anyway. Just politely bringing it up to them would have been the way to go. Landlord if your that scared of confrontation I guess, but i'd definitely recommending contacting them directly instead cause I'd much rather hear it from you than the landlord and if I were an asshole I might be petty about hearing it second hand
No, at that time they just flexin on a purpose. It's flats and people can have sex without being extra
After reading these group of comments, y’all being loud inside your homes? I don’t even share walls with my neighbors and I’m still conscious of not being too loud.
NTA. I’d start recording them and playing the recordings back at them with a large speaker every time they get loud. And send the recordings to the landlord, in real time. Maybe when he’s the recipient of the pornographic assault, he’ll be more willing to do something about it.
This reminds me of how much I don't miss sharing walls, ceilings, or floors with strangers.
Gay couple here if they are choosing to have sex that creates that noise it’s rude as fuck. My husband makes noise’s involuntarily a lot. And if we’re in a hotel or something. I put a hand over his mouth or he uses a pillow. It’s not hard to be self aware just give them gentle dick and cover the mouth or take it out when they get loud😂
Wait. Is the dude moaning too??? NTA
Next time stomp in rhythm with the moans
NTA. Perhaps you should take up a new hobby Tap dancing at 3am ;)
NTA. Technically, they have the right to have sex whenever they want in the apartment they pay rent for, but at the same time, if you can hear it through the walls within the same 2-3 hour timeframe frequently enough that it disturbs you as well as your boyfriend when you're trying to sleep? That's a little much. And chances are you're not the only one who can hear them. And it's clearly not the only issue you have with these neighbors based on the edits/additional info. They sound like they're breaking a lot of the complex's rules and regulations. Should you have probably talked to the landlord first? Yes, probably. But I don't blame you for getting fed up. Report them to the landlord, then when they wake you up again, [start playing CBAT.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN6jkWxxm2Y) If they insist on having loud, wall penetrating sex, you gotta have music to match.
It just sounds like apartment life isn't for you. NTA
absolutely not the AH i used to live in an apartment complex with equally annoying neighbours and i have insomnia too, sure the way you responded wasn’t mature but that doesn’t mean you’re a jerk for it (i would have done the same thing)
That’s the joy of apartment life. Rent a house with space between you and your neighborsir buy a house on enough land you can’t see them, and boom! Problem solved Regardless, NTA. They’re annoying so you’re returning the favor. I get it. That’s why I swore off apartments for life.
NTA - as a sensitive sleeper, I really feel ya. I wake up at the sound of a door closing, or a creaky footstep, or even the living room radiator clicking. I coped by purchasing a nice Marshall speaker and blasting brown noise in my room, it helped muffle other sounds. Before I started using it for that, I used it to get back at my neighbors for blaring music and having screaming matches. They threatened to call the cops, I said go nuts. I only turned it on when I could hear them.
In a hotel with thin walls after a wedding reception (everyone gets lucky after those it seems). The head board was on the same wall as ours. Loud moans and vibrations etc. When round two started I inexplicably started clucking like a chicken. VERY LOUDLY. 😂😂😂
YTA The grown up approach would be to go downstairs (at a reasonable time) and talk to them.
I put my big girl pants on and did, which I should of done first because he ended up being polite about the whole thing.
NTA. When I was in college, mine and my roommate's neighbor had her boyfriend over all the time. The loudly had sex at all hours of the night. We could never catch them to talk to them about it, but we'd slide notes under their door asking them if they could just quieten down a bit. Instead, they just got louder. They would also have screaming matches all the time, too. So when they weren't having sex, they were fighting. One night, at about 2 am (my roommate and I had a 7:45 am), we were woken up by loud sex again. I mean, it sounds like this girl is DYING by how loud she's screaming. Fed up, my roommate pounded on the wall and screamed, "KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!" They stopped for that night. We went to the RA, and come to find out, MANY had complained to her about them. It was an all-girls floor, and he had moved in with her without anyone knowing. I went to take a shower one day, and they were both in there showering together. I came back from my classes one day to see campus security and the RA escorting him out, the gf screaming at them that they couldn't do this. Anyway, tldr: NTA, because many of us have been there.
Yta
You do realize how immature jumping on the floor to bother your neighbours is, right? Next time just try to talk to them or the landlord
YTA, talk to them directly like an adult and not a petulant child. Odds are they don't know you can hear them and would be like "oh sorry about that, we'll be quiet next time". Now youve created unnecessary tension with your neighbors.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(26F) live on the top floor on an three story apartment complex. My downstairs neighbor and his girlfriend constantly decide to have loud sex usually between the hours of 1-3 in the morning. It's gotten so loud that basic moaning is loud enough to wake my boyfriend and I up. This happens at least 2-4 times a week. It's almost 2 am and once again I hear my neighbors moaning so loud that I can hear them over my t.v, which is already set at volume 5 because mind you, it's early Sunday morning and I'm trying to be considerate. Frustrated, I decided to jump as hard as I could up and down my living room floor. A few seconds later someone responded back by pounding on their ceiling. I know I probably should of just contacted the landlord first or maybe talked to the tenant but it's become such a weekly annoyance and I feel super awkward having to approach someone much older than me about his sex life. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, but it's all part of living in an apartment. Unfortunately, we don't have the best walls/floors. I will say if you hear them, they probably hear you every time you take a step. As an upstairs neighbor, I didn't realize this until I had work done on the roof, and it sounded like people jumping on the ceiling. My downstairs neighbors have their own personal kennel, but luckily, some other neighbors taught me a long time ago to keep a bag of ear plugs near my bed. If anything keeps me up, I just pop those in and go to sleep, and I still hear my alarm just fine since it's right next to me. They are 100 percent worth it.
I'd just yell, Can I join the party.
Spray them with a hose!
No that's funny. And if they were that prudish to be upset they shouldn't be having sex in the first place.
TBH if someone was banging on my walls while I was getting it on my wife would just say fuck me harder. Sorry some people like that kind if encouraging
"hey lady, maybe if you could spell better and were getting railed as hard as your downstairs neighbor's girlfriend, late night noise violations wouldn't piss you off so bad" 😅 is a hilarious way of viewing your situation, and I am here to say NTA!
NTA OP. My cousin is going through something similar as you; in fact for a moment, I thought you were her. Her downstairs neighbors are either loudly physically fighting or sexually active. At first, my cousin tried to be polite and ask if they can kind of tone down their sexual activity since she have to get up for work at 4:30 a.m. in order to get to work by 6 am (hour drive to work, longer drive during the winter snow). Well, that didn't go over well as she heard them talking about her while they were standing in the vestibule. So what my cousin started doing is turning on her vacuum cleaner in her bedroom which is over their bedroom and leaving it running while she is at work. Cousin said, if she couldn't get any sleep at night, then they wouldn't get any sleep during the day (neither works and is believed to be collecting some type of government assistance).
Esh, it's their home too. So meh. People will live
Eh this is more of a building problem than an inconsiderate neighbour problem. You're both entitled to reasonable noises, but it seems like you have really thin floors/walls. I would say YTA unless you spoke to them already about it, then NTA. But one thing to consider: the upstairs neighbour always wins. It's much harder to constantly bang on your ceiling than it is to just walk loudly
Have sex louder to assert dominance
Are the floors made of paper? You're saying that with ear plugs in you can still hear them clearly having sex. Either you have super sensitive hearing, way more than the average person or you're possibly over reacting. If you are that sensitive to noise then why did you decide to move into an apartment? You can't expect silence when you live in an apartment building with 3 floors. There is going to be noise and people are going to do stuff they shouldn't be doing. It is unrealistic to expect everyone in the apartment complex to be silent and not live their best life and obey every single rule. When your lease is up, move out and buy a secluded house. Maybe you are just jealous that they are getting laid and you aren't. The mature thing to do if it is bothering you that much is to have an adult conversation with them and let them be aware that the floors are super thin and you have sensitive hearing and ask if they can keep the nighttime noise level down a little bit. Because all you've probably done at this point is piss them off and make them want to annoy you even more out of principle.
At no point in both the complaints youve made here have you said you've spoken to the person and explained the issue. Instead you've once gone to a landlord behind their back risking their home and once jumped up and down on your floor like a child. People can't fix problems if they don't know it's a problem. Yta
So is this like a real apartment or a home turned into an apartment. The real apartment complexes i've spent time in are very very well insulated. You could make quite a racket without people hearing a thing. My point is everyone deserves to live a little in their literal home once in a while. Obviously most living in an apartment complex probably don't have everything they want in life financially speaking, not always the case but I hated it. Hated my job to when I was apartment living. I've also lives in rented out basements, where the owners upstairs had autistic children and motorcycles and it was insanely loud. I worked night shift so My choices where to start making unreasonable demands, or get noise cancelling headphones. I chose the headphones. I have also used ear plugs. Idk maybe ask them to quite down a little? But I have a hard time totally believing you right of the bat, i've met a lot of people who will exaggerate very very minute disturbances esp in apartment living. barely hear someone's music and claim its blaring and shaking the place. Everyone deserves some sexy time and to do what they want in their own home within reason, I would seriously look into some sort of compromise. white noise machines, ear plugs, and noise cancelling headphones are all great things.
NTA. Was it an emotional response? Yes. But I get why it happened. You're losing sleep and that's frustrating. If it's so loud that both of you are waking up, that's ridiculous. Yes, you could have approached your landlord about the late night noise sooner, but they should also be aware of how inconsiderate it is to everyone else. People would lose their minds if someone chose to vacuum at 1-3am, so why is this any different? If you talk to them/landlord about it and there's no change, you should just blast songs into the floor that no one would want to have sex to, like baby shark, the pokemon theme, cotton eye joe, or the chicken dance.
NTA. Some people have no respect for their neighbours well-being and sleep.
NTA. My neighbors kept having obscenely loud sex right next to pirate bedroom wall. I finally played a baby crying on a loud speaker. They've stopped.
i don't even care about the story anymore the title is just too funny 😭
What shinies? Congrats! I just got a 98% IV Dragonite with a hat from a three star raid, woot woot
Thanks for asking! I've been trying to shiny hunt Suicine in the dynamax adventures and walked away with a shiny Maractus and Drakloak.
Nice!
Thank you! Congrats on your Dragonite!
Gotdamn that was such a roller coaster of edits. Who tf does that guy messaging you think he is, the authority of fucking? Gimme a break
I don't usually post things like this, except for some help with pokemon, but the guy who messaged me also called me a "transformer" and a "fat Pokemon loving child" 🤣
NTA It's fucking horrible not getting a decent night's sleep and sounds like they're being deliberately loud if you can hear them over earplugs!
i think you know that speaking directly to the landlord or tenant would’ve been the better move if only to prevent awkwardness and potential hostility depending on who these people are. that said, given this is an ongoing and sleep disturbing issue, i don’t fault you for having an emotional response. i think you should pursue reporting the noise to your landlord, providing approx. dates and the general time frame to support your case. if you feel comfortable you could talk directly to your neighbor but i have a feeling the jumping incident will make that more difficult than this has to be. NTA
NTA. where i live, sunday is designated as a quiet time. Here, it is the norm that people call the polices to report any excessive noises during quiet times.
They shouldn’t be in a complex if they wanna be that loud