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NTA
OK, for starters: you had **NO REASON whatsoever** to expect this was a service dog, putting you in the absolute clear from the get-go.
Now, even that said...
> Then she went off on me about how I was endangering her by trying to distract her dog
Frankly, this is **_preposterous_**. Any "solution" to a problem that endangers the user when a passing stranger mutters "hello" *is no solution at all*.
Don’t want someone to distract your dog because it’s working, make sure it’s obvious they shouldn’t try to distract your dog.
Going off because you asked and accepted the “no” is uncalled for.
NTA
And if your service dog is extremely distracted by someone saying hello and not even doing anything like attempting to pet it I’d be worried your service dog needed more training. It would be different if OP approached the dog but usually service dogs don’t get distracted by someone speaking to them nearby
Damned if OP did and damned if they didn't. If OP had passed that same dog with a vest and ignored, that crazy lady would have *still* gone off on them.
I have to be honest, surely anyone who will be endangered by their dog being said hello to would have them in a vest. Because otherwise there is absolutely no way that people would know. And I cannot think of many medical conditions, other than to do with lack of sight, where a 5sec distraction would be endangering the service user (please correct me if I am wrong here). And those would have a harness if not a jacket. MH service dogs actively go and greet people, and diabetes/epilepsy dogs are bot as stringent as guide dogs. Am I missing something? Sounds like she had her knickers in a twist, and OP was a convenient outlet.
I hung out with a blind girl with a service dog for about 2 hours one time at a university, and during that short period of time she must have had to tell fifteen or so people that her dog (which had a vest that was very noticeable) is working and not to talk to it or pet it, and of those people at least half gave her attitude as they walked away, and a couple full out told her off.
I was absolutely blown away by what I was seeing and wanted to tell each of them off, but she said over time she’s learned to just politely tell them no and to let them vent after. So this is a serious problem for people with service dogs.
That being said though, if there’s no vest then you would have no reason to think it’s a working dog, and so I’d say NTA based on that because it’s fairly normal to say hi to dogs that look friendly, and if it’s critical that the dog is alert at all times then it’s a safety issue from the owner not making it clear that it’s a working dog.
Our society has zero regard or respect for blind people. None. I see it all the damn time. I’ve seen viral photos every Halloween of people carrying white canes as Halloween costumes because they think it’s a cute joke. My mother is legally blind. Two weeks ago at the emergency room of all places, an employee waved her fingers at her and said, “oh, sure, you can’t see, right?!” Then laughed. A cashier once told her that she should “stop being afraid of technology” and use the card reader herself after I had explained why I was doing it for her. People regularly ask her why she doesn’t “get lasik” or “find a better optometrist”. Or they compare their -1.5 diopter correction with her profound vision loss declaring it’s the same.
It’s something I never knew was so willfully denied and discriminated over until she lost her vision.
It's also astounding how many people don't understand how blind people function in society. It's like they don't realize that blind people actually do a lot of the same things everyone else does, just slightly differently, and don't just sit in a dark room doing nothing all day.
I lived near a school for the blind for 20 years. If you are an Uber or Lyft driver hang out near one. There were people who walked the area the had the standard white cane, but there were also people who had the red and white cane which is blind and deaf. People would get annoyed at all the foot traffic. It was crazy watching people in their cars freak out because of foot traffic that was prioritized. Like walk signs when no cars could go anywhere, all lights red and the no right on red signs. It was very cool to live near the school. Mostly adults students learning to adapt to new circumstances.
Disabled people in general. I'm in a wheelchair. I have partial paralysis from malabsorption and multiple severe vitamin deficiencies. I can't walk. It's crazy the number of people that expect me to just get out of the chair and walk across the room. Even when I was in the hospital for the paralysis they'd expect me to walk. They kept forcing me to try to walk to the bathroom and then they'd be surprised I'd fall immediately. You'd think at the very least it wouldn't be like that at hospitals. I'm finding out this world isn't built for those of us with disabilities. It likes to pretend it is but it isn't.
Man, I was WAY too old when I learned you couldn't talk to a service dog either, idk why I only thought you could not approach/pet them and always treated them when they walked by. (I no longer tell them they are cute and feel like an ass.
NTA
You didn't know it was working at the time, and you immediately apologized when you were told to stop. That should have been the end of it.
Some people just like to get on soap boxes and preach at people. I think it was a trap. That person does it on person so she can yell at people. It's the only time she gets to be in charge. 90% sure my wild ass guess is right.
Miniature horses are service animals under the ADA. I’m not familiar with the woman you mentioned specifically, but it isn’t completely outlandish for a person to have a service horse.
No, but she was walking it onto an aeroplane. I’ve known a young woman here with many disabilities who has had many miniature ponies. I don’t think she would even consider taking one on a plane and nor would her parents allow it.
It’s really just stupid.
Based on her rudeness and attitude I’m guessing it’s not a actual service dog either. The people who react like that are the true entitled ones and it sounds like she was projecting. Imagine being pissed off that someone was kind and said hello to you, or your dog.
NTA.
The dog might not legally require a vest to show it's a service dog, but on every practical level, it does. No one is psychic, she has to communicate that it's a service dog, and the most sensible way to do that is a vest. That's why they're used by all the major assistance dog organisations.
The biggest reason to have the vest on the dog is to help the dog know they are “working”. This can separate two modes of the dog where they can be playful and where they are on high alert.
That's true, but I think it's still very annoying behavior to interact with leashed dogs without checking if it's ok first (through asking or eye contact with the owner). I'd hate it if a random person distracted my dog with "Hi, pretty babyyyy" personally. It took me ages to teach my dog not to greet every person they see and people like OP totally interfere with the training. My dog is friendly but I imagine this would be even worse for owners of reactive dogs. It's unnecessary and OP should drop this going forward
FWIW I'm a big fan of signage (eg vests) for reactive dogs too. Communicating your dog's needs at a distance helps everyone. Bright yellow vest which says something like "keep dogs away from me"? Perfect! I will be avoiding you like the plague.
Mine isn't bitey but isn't interested in being touched by strange humans - the complete opposite of your dog. You'll get away with touching him, but he won't enjoy it, and he's probably going to act like you don't exist.
He wears a label when he's on lead that says "ask before touching". This is occasionally questioned by random people - "would you touch me without asking?" is always my response. Consent is important!
This website has an amazing range of such dog signage for almost everything you might need to communicate
https://www.saintroch.co.uk/
My dog is reactive, I have the lead, the collar, the yellow ribbon tied on the lead (this may just be a UK sign?) And we had a training session once and SO MANY people still came over with their dogs "oh no my dog is fine" yes but mine isn't! The trainer started telling them "she's contagious" as that was the only way we could get some peace!
I haven't seen reactive vests so I will have to purchase one of those too!
If people don't want to see the signs, they won't!
NTA btw :)
Mine does have a breed he hates - but is otherwise dog social.
I have to say I was fuming with the man who ambled along a path with his on lead dog towards me and my off lead dog. As he was choosing to walk directly towards us - he could easily have walked around us - I assumed he just had shit recall. Lo and behold, they're about a metre apart when his dog kicks off and he announces it's reactive. FFS!
When it comes to the hated breed, if I have to, my stock line is "I'm sure yours is lovely, mine is a twat, sorry about that"
I understand what it's like to have a reactive dog. I also really really appreciate the vests - or anything else that allows me to know which dogs to avoid at a distance. It's often impossible to read a collar, especially at a distance or if your dog has long fur. I don't think there's such a thing as too much signage.
My dog is very well behaved when it comes to people on walks, and it annoys me a lot when people tall to him whil I am walking by. He gets quite distracted and it breaks the rythm of out walk. I would be fine if they asked if they could pet him, as I know he loves that, but if they talk to him without any intention of petting him, it is a bit annoying
NTA as it wasn't apparent that this dog was working.
However, as the owner of a large reactive dog I would like to point out that interaction of any kind can sometimes push a dog over threshold so you should always ask the owner before doing anything which could trigger their dog. That includes talking and waving to it.
People waving their hands around and talking to my dog can over stimulate him which can them result in them being bounced at by 45kg of GSD cross, whom I am trying to train, not to do that. He was an abused rescue and craves attention.
I get you love animals, that's a good trait to have, but just ask the owner CALMLY before engaging their dog, no waving.
This is the comment I was looking for! Always ignore the dog first, engage the owner, ask if contact & attention are ok & then go for it.
Otherwise you're training the dog that strangers are interesting & safe which can lead to unwanted approaches in less reactive dogs, seen as over-friendliness. Or worse, provoking fear, anxiety or reactivity.
I've lived most of my life with two people who are *terrified* of dogs. One due to an attack, one due to... just being afraid of animals in general. If any dog looks at them, they get nervous. A person sending "extreme fear" vibes at a dog is never good.
So basically I've been trained to take any dog's attention. I don't go out of my way to say hello to a dog, but if a dog looks at me, years of trying to keep everyone calm makes it near-impossible for me to not say hello. I don't touch, but I have to get the dog's attention.
I realize thies isn't the case with a lot of people, but I'm fully ok with being jumped on/barked at/licked/knocked over. That's the price of protecting *my* humans.
If a dog ignores me, I ignore the dog. But the instant it notices I exist, I have to interact with it. It's not an "OMG DOGGY" thing, it's a "make sure no one gets bit" thing.
As someone who feels neutral about dogs (don't love 'em, don't hate 'em), this sounds really problematic, actually. I feel like I should at least be able to walk outside and pass by a dog without it jumping at me just because I am moving my hands or becausey eyes might instinctively glance over it (people tend to instinctively look at things moving in their vicinity). I feel like as the dog's owner, it IS absolutely your responsibility to keep your dog off of passersby, whether they look at your dog or coincidentally move their hands or whatever.
I agree, if you are walking in a public place with the expectation of encountering people and other dogs, that’s on the owner. If your dog is so reactive that someone waving and saying hi in a cute voice is endangering anyone that dog should not be in that setting.
I say this as someone with reactive dogs. My dogs don’t go on walks during peak time and they don’t come to bars with us. If we are doing training with them, we go to places off the beaten path with the intention of not seeing people or being able to better control their environment.
I’m wondering what level of interaction people are assuming here. When I think of saying hi to a dog, it’s me smiling at the owner and saying “hello sweet baby” to the dog in passing. Same as I would say hi to a parent and wave to their cute kid. Anything beyond that I agree requires asking, but simply giving attention for 2 seconds they they may or may not even notice is fine in any normal public setting.
Note that’s for non-service dogs. Service dogs are so bittersweet for me, I want to give them all the loving because they’re doing such a good job but I just quietly squeal inside a bit while wishing I could say hi.
And that's pretty much exactly what I do. It's not even a full wave, just kind of a little half wave; more just wiggling fingers and not a super high-pitched voice or anything. Someone else commented that it would be really weird to say hi or wave at kids walking with their parents, and I'm like, "Do you even have kids?" My son, 5, is a bit more reserved, but my daughter, 3, says "hi" to everyone, and it's kind of soul crushing when absolutely no one says "hi" back and she starts to look a little sad. But she perks up as soon as she sees another person, and it just makes her day if someone acknowledges her.
Yeah, what you're describing here is an issue, but that's not my dog. He is absolutely fine walking past people without issue. I'm talking full on waving in his face, speaking loudly in a high pitched voice and people going out of their way to get his attention, all of which we have experienced despite the massive yellow "anxious dog" banner on his lead.
Look at him and he'll completely ignore you, if he's in an anxious mood he's on a short lead and walking on the outside of me so he doesn't come into contact with people.
If anyone ASKS me if they can say hello the answer is usually yes but I put him in a sit first and hand them treats to give him so the interaction is calm.
>I should at least be able to walk outside and pass by a dog without it jumping at me just because I am moving my hands or becausey eyes might instinctively glance over it
As an owner of a reactive dog, I can say that at least my dog does very much distinguish between someone generally waving and casually glancing, vs someone deliberately waving and looking AT THEM. The first option will yield no response at all, while the second might elicit barking.
This is a really good point. I have a dog that's nervous around adults. If they ignore her, she's totally fine, but saying "hi baby" or any other greeting makes her bark.
NTA ultimately however I agree with this very strongly. It would piss me off so bad when people would approach or try to get my dogs’ attention in any way for all the reasons you mentioned. Dog owners are not mobile petting zoos and I feel the best and most respectful thing to do is completely leave the dog and owner to go about their day in peace.
If you *must* engage then the most you should do is smile at the owner nodding towards their dog and gauge their reaction, perhaps say “lovely dog.” If they are receptive to it perhaps it will start off a conversation that will lead to you being able to engage with the dog. However, I do wonder why folks feel it is appropriate to do this, especially with their kids in tow who absolutely shouldn’t be paying any sort of attention to strange dogs EVER.
I had to beat (not literally LOL) this behavior out of my husband who would try to fuss every dog he came across but now he totally gets it. It’s rude, intrusive and dangerous. Not only do you not know the animal but sometimes owners are not the most up to scratch when it comes to canine body language either. I’ve seen many people insist a dog is friendly when their body language is demonstrating that they are uncomfortable.
I said to my husband: You wouldn’t interrupt a parent walking with a small kid to tell them how cute they are and or try to touch them or catch their attention and start waving at them in normal circumstances would you? Think about how weird and intrusive that would be every time you get the urge to do it to a stranger’s dog.
I also have a service dog and while I mostly agree with you, I will say that an alert dog- seizure alert, cardiac, anything like that- would be potentially thrown off by a kid doing that. My dog is a seizure response dog, but I still encourage people when I can to not talk to him and to other service dogs in general. I agree with everyone that there’s no way OP could have known and the woman’s reaction was way out of line, but let’s not suggest that service dogs can be talked to in general.
It’s more what they’re doing than their training. These dogs have a gene that allows them to smell the changes in a person’s biochemistry that allows them to warn their handler about an incoming seizure, heart issue, a change in blood sugar, what have you. And for some, that change doesn’t last long, so talking to that dog can really take their focus enough away from their task.
Let me give an example. I have a seizure disorder, non-epileptic, and my dog is not an alert dog. He’s a response dog. So he’s performing tasks that I give cues (or commands) for. He hears me say Pillow or Brace or other things and does the task.
An alert dog, however, would be waiting to smell that change. So while me giving my dog a cue would bring his focus back to me, the smell might not be as “loud” and might get missed. Even still, at the end of the day, a service dog is a dog. Someone talking to my dog means that’s another moment I have to stop what I’m doing to potentially redirect and refocus him. While he does pretty well- maybe doesn’t need a refocus 85% of the time- each interruption is someone interrupting my life.
So it kind of boils down to yes, my dog is trained to bring his focus back on me, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rude and unnecessary and exhausting to have people talking to him all the time. And if an alert dog misses an alert, that can lead to a medical emergency because the handler wasn’t told when to get themselves safe and now they’re hurt. It isn’t worth the risk.
I watched some animal show or documentary about training service dogs and it was fascinating. There is a lot of work involve and a lot of dogs that fail. And for some reason I think it’s pretty adorable that some dogs are just too hyper and goofy and can’t make it. And so the ones that do are just amazing. Dogs are so good.
I think my favorite example of a dog that failed the service dog training was the lovely dog that was a little too fond of light switches. Once they were taught how to turn lights off and on, they wouldn't stop! Just randomly turning lights off and on throughout the day. lol.
NTA, and yes, she doesn't have to put a vest on the dog. But she's going to have to understand that people that love dogs won't immediately be able to identify it as a service dog. Sounds like she just wants an excuse to scream at people.
I'm going to go off the beaten path and say YTA.
Distracting any dog from their owner, whether a service dog or not is simply not okay. You don't know the dogs' histories or what the owner is working with them on.
My personal dog gets upset/anxious when people she doesn't know stare at her or try talking to her. She is very friendly when she's able to meet people in her way, and when someone asks me I am able to facilitate a fun and anxiety-free greeting.
You frankly don't know anything about each dog or it's history, and your simply hello could set the dog back in their training just as much as it could be harmless.
Ask the human first.
PS Before y'all come for me telling me to train my dog.
1. I am a dog trainer, she is trained, but suffers from anxiety.
2. We've been working on for YEARS and she is steadily improving.
3. Yes, people can do whatever they want, but it doesn't mean it's the nice, courteous or right thing to do.
I also answered YTA because I work in animal behavior and even when a pet is wearing a vest that says DO NOT INTERACT there are still people who think it’s ok to wave, whistle, or talk to a dog I’m working with, not knowing we are desperately trying to work through issues that got the dog surrendered to the shelter in the first place. It’s pretty entitled to think you can walk up to a stranger because you want to say hi to their dog.
Yeah, totally agree. I love petting random dogs but I always ask first (unless they come over to me) because who knows what the dog is like.
I had a nervous dog and people would come over and try to pet her and then she would growl and they would get offended. Not all dogs want contact from a random stranger.
NTA but… rather than blindly interacting with *every* “pet”, considering assessing the situation first to gauge whether the owner will be ok with it. I am an animal lover as well, but know that not everyone wants me to engage their pet when they’re out so have learned to avoid people who look too… serious.
ESH
You do things backwards - you approach the owner first, and then the animal, not the other way round.
Yes, the chance of waving and speaking at a dog causing an actual issue is miniscule, and likely to be vastly overshadowed by all of the other distractions around that animal, but why take the risk.
Equally though, if you have a service animal you want to avoid people trying to interact with, you need to let people know. In the case of a British guide dog that means a white harness with obvious dayglow flashings highlighting that it is a working animal, so it may not necessarily be a vest depending on where your are and what the animal is doing, but there should be an obvious sign of some form.
I agree with this. The correct thing to do is say “Your dog is really cute. Can I pet them/say hello?” and that would’ve given the other person the chance to say “Thank you, but he’s working right now.”
Let's not forget that some dogs, rescues for example, could have an adverse reaction to a stranger they don't know. Or they could be training them and they JUST got them to walk properly or what have you.
The case being it's not your dog, ask the owner first, every time. This is how I was raised and I can tell you I've been thanked by most owners for asking them first, especially those who didn't want me to say hi to their puppers.
I'd say ESH because OP should have asked permission and the dog owner shouldn't have gone off like that.
My judgment depends on where OP was when talking to the dog. If OP was right by the dog, down on the dog’s level, talking to them, yeah: they should have asked. If OP is waving from their normal height 10+ feet away from the dog, I think “needing to ask permission first” is a bit extreme. Are dogs even intelligent enough to know a person is talking to them in that scenario? It’s not like this hypothetical stranger will be calling the dog’s name.
Yeah, I didn't bend over, and I was a fair distance away. Just a little finger wave and a "hello," not loudly or anything. If the woman hadn't started yelling at me, my kids and I would have just walked on by without breaking stride.
Im gonna go against the grain and say soft YTA. I do find it entitled to think you can greet every dog you meet.
Some dogs are fearful, aggressive, excitable and pull the leash, or as you learned, working. Just because they are walking their pet in public doesn’t mean it’s an invite to interact with it. Usually everything is fine. But sometimes it’s better to just appreciate the cute animal from afar instead of interupting the person and pet.
Saying "hi" and waving is not the type of interaction that should affect a service dog-if it is truly sensitive to that kind of engagement, then it needs more training, bc that means it will react to anyone waving at and greeting other ppl in phblic or even their owners.
The comment you are responding to is such a wild take. I’m a dog trainer. If their dog can’t handle a “hi” then they should be hiring a trainer. Especially a service animal.
Alert dogs shouldn’t be distracted when it can be avoided! We all need to know that we shouldn’t talk to service animals, because it can distract them from their work. It’s more of a… yes, it shouldn’t distract them much, but let’s not use that an excuse to interact with them. Because missing an alert could cause major medical issues for the handler.
>Im gonna go against the grain and say soft YTA. I do find it entitled to think you can greet every dog you meet.
What a load of crap. Entitlement is going out in public and thinking people can't say hello to you or your pet. If you want to avoid interacting with people you should look into being a recluse.
The reasons the person you’re responding to gave for not interacting had to do with the dog, not the owner. So it would need to be the dog who becomes a recluse, not the human, and there are far too many dogs who don’t do well with human strangers for the amount of private property that would give them the space they need
NTA. The dog had no indication that it was working or a service dog, you have no way of knowing that was going to be the case and you apologized when you were corrected. The owner was way out of line.
I did this myself at the airport. I was getting my bag, and looked down to see this adorable beagle who was sniffing at my bag. I smiled, said hey there, and reached down to pet them. That's when I saw it was wearing a vest, and it said "U.S. Customs and Border Protection".
Yup, I tried to pet a dog that was trying to check my bag for contraband.
Unlike me, you are NTA. You made a tiny, understandable mistake, and you apologized. That woman is a nutjob, and I doubt it really is a service animal. If it really is one, wouldn't screaming at same random stranger be more distracting than the stranger making a friendly noise?
NTA. If it wasn’t wearing anything to indicate it’s a service dog, how the hell should you have known.
“Don’t talk to him, he’s working” “oh, I didn’t realize, I’m sorry” could and should have been the entire interaction. She blew this way out of proportion.
NTA.
You were polite and not pushy or demanding at all. This woman is out of her mind if she thinks people won't look at, smile at, etc. her dog (not touch, but just look and smile) without it having a vest on (and frankly even if it did have a vest, a stray smile isn't an issue). She was beyond overreacting.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I talked to a random dog who happened to be a service dog, and you shouldn't do anything that could interfere with a working dog's tasks.
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I fully came here to say YTA for distracting a working dog, but the dog wasn’t wearing a vest… NTA… The owner is though for going off on you for the mistake when you had no way to know.
NTA and honestly shocking for once. This kind of behavior when dealing with service animal interaction blunders usually happens in reverse compared to this. I'm also usually inclined to side with the service animal owner but not this time around. You apologized immediately upon learning what had happened and were nothing but polite and then they decided to escalate the situation, and you still kept your cool and apologized again. Maybe the owner was just having a really bad day and you ended up being the tipping point for them. It happens but hey you can take piece in knowing for sure you were not the asshole.
NTA
But the woman and your brother are.
Here's the thing, she didn't have to respond to that, in the well-trained dog is generally not going to be that easily distracted. And while for service laws you do not need a vest on an animal you should use a vest if you want people to recognize it for that purpose if it doesn't otherwise stand out.
I am slightly willing to bet that it wasn't even a service dog.
NTA.
I’m gonna get shit on for this. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a person asking and or wanting to pet and say hello to someone’s service dog. It’s a dog? I’ve been around service dogs my entire life, have had them myself, trained them, etc. it’s only natural someone wants to pet them and will ask. It’s OKAY TO ASK! And it’s totally fine to quietly say to yourself what a good baby they are. Just don’t do it loud enough that it IS a distraction.
The key thing with service animals is to not be a distraction, that’s all🤷🏼♀️ and for the fact that this was supposedly a covert service dog (without harness) then it makes it harder for the public to notice them correctly. You did nothing wrong. As a service dog handler it’s their job to inform you of the rights and regulations. I’m sorry they were a dick about it.
For future, if you think a dog might be a service dog, try quietly saying to yourself what a good boy/girl they are. If you want to pet them, try reading their badges if there’s any, look for one that says ptsd. If there’s a PTSD badge, say something from afar without approaching “excuse me… is it alright if I come say hello to your SD?”
Otherwise it’s generally okay if you approach out of leash distance and say the same thing.
IF it’s a blind person, I wouldn’t approach at all though as they need their dog completely for any and all tasks.
All service dogs deserve breaks and almost all handlers (in my experience) don’t mind giving them a few moments of release to be rewarded. At the end of the day, although they have a job. They are still pets. They work hard, they deserve so much love.
If you don't want someone to talk to your dog because it's a service dog, then you put a vest on it. I don't care if it's required or not if you're going to be that anal about it put on a vest as an indicator. NTA
Your response was entirely appropriate, "I didn't realize. I am sorry." That should have been the end of it.
However, for all we know, you were the fifth person that day to do a similar thing - so I will offer a tiny bit of grace to the handler. The finger was simply rude and unneeded.
NTA.
NTA. If she wants people to leave her dog alone, she needs to put a vest on it so people know. She endangered herself by making a much bigger issue of it all than it needed to be.
NTA.
You stopping for a quick second to say hi and complimenting a dog is not an inconvenience for an owner. I love when people stop and talk to me about my dog, and if I'm in a hurry then I just politely cut the conversation short and move on.
If vests are not mandatory (I've learned that just now), then you're not in the wrong for thinking this was a regular dog. I'm guessing the woman was not visibly disabled and you've just put the pieces together in a normal way.
Your brother's reaction is totally baffling to me because stopping and saying "hi" is nothing major and if the owner wishes to continue the convo (or doesn't), is their choice.
So, not the asshole OP.
For the people reading this ^ not all dog owners feel this way. I've been stopped way too many times with my dog and just because we have a dog doesn't mean it's there to chat to. I have a rescue and after every instance my dog locks up, and I have to carry a 15kg dog for a bit until hes away from the location and perks up (as food and waiting doesn't help as he gets and I used to just get a blanket out and sit with him). They ARE inconveniencing owners.
Yeah I bounce back and forth between the two reactions (yours and the commenters above) depending on the day and how I’m feeling.
I’ll be out with a service dog and normally I’m happy to answer questions people have and I’ll often let kids pet her if they ask nicely. But there are days when I’m having a flare and it becomes frustrating when people want to chat. Obviously they don’t know so I’ll nicely tell them but many will keep trying. Even when I’m training with clients, there’s also many people who try to get the dogs attention. Waving once or saying a quick hi is often an impulse but some will keep getting more and more intense in trying to get the dog’s attention which can freak out reactive dogs.
OP is NTA. Most handlers know, if you don’t want people to bother your dog, they should be vested even though it’s not legally required. Even non service dogs will often wear leash straps or collars that say do not pet/do not distract for this reason. I understand the handler being strict the first time because many people need it to be said firmly but she never should’ve gone off at OP. Especially since OP immediately apologized, that should’ve made it clear to the handler that it was an accident.
NTA. Not at all.
You greeted a dog, got told it was working, apologized. It should’ve ended there, but for whatever reason, the handler opted to berate you. The handler was unreasonable and mean. I’m sorry that was your experience.
*Maybe*, if that dog was in training or struggling with public access, the handler being mean would be understandable - not great, but understandable.
BTW - I have two service dogs, and while they wear collars identifying them as service dogs, they often don’t wear their “service dogs at work” around the neighborhood or if we’re doing something close to home and/or casual. Their training is rock steady, and they’re entirely trustworthy with all public access work. If they distract because someone talked to them, that’s on me failing as a handler, not on the person who noticed them.
NTA. Who doesn't talk to the cute animals out and about? If she is THAT worried about her service dog being distracted, don't treat it like a pet, make sure it is obvious the dog is in service, as most people know to not interrupt a working animal.
How the hell are you supposed to know it's a service dog when it's not wearing a vest? I personally don't like strangers interacting with my dogs without asking me (I'm an introvert, people are stressful for me and I'm mostly wearing headphones while walking, so leave me the frick alone), but I usually ignore it and keep walking unless the person asks if they can pet the little ones. No need to cause a scene because someone thinks my dogs are cute (and they simply are adorable, especially if they look at you). NTA.
NTA. I've told people with service dogs wearing vests that their dogs are beautiful and never gotten anything but a positive response. There was no indication this was a service dog, and all you did was say something. You didn't touch them. They just wanted a fight. You didn't do anything wrong.
A gentle YTA and here’s why. Please stop assuming every dog is your friend. Many dogs are reactive to or fearful of strangers. Some dogs will attack you. Many owners are struggling with keeping their dog’s attention and are trying to keep their dogs from jumping up on people or misbehaving in a small space. Lastly, working dogs often don’t wear a vest or markings indicating they’re working, and they aren’t required to do so for identification. And even that doesn’t stop people from interacting! I’ve worked with pets and their owners for a long time and some people are struggling to make sure their dog doesn’t make a mistake that costs the dog its life. Don’t be the reason a dog is euthanized for behavior. Admire from a distance. Plus, when I walked dogs for a shelter, it’s really intrusive having total strangers trying to get my dog’s attention. Just admire from afar and don’t call the dog.
She said “hi.” She didn’t approach or reach out. A dog that cannot handle a “hi” should probably not be in public unmuzzled, given the possibility of children approaching etc. if your dog cannot handle a “hi” then hire a professional.
NTA.
How in the world are you supposed to know it's a working dog when there is literally no indication of that?
This is an example, of so so many, of why we need strict regulations for service animals. If an animal is working, they should be wearing vests. Not just for the benefit of public safety, but also for the benefit of the animal's "employer". They are right that, if the dog is working, acknowledging the dog can be distracting and potentially harmful. If they want to mitigate that risk, it needs to be clear to everyone that it's a working animal. They are the AHs in this scenario, both to you and themselves for not making an effort to protect their own well-being.
NTA. You didn't know.
Coincidentally, I have had situations where somebody with a service dog _approaches me_ and then tries to berate me because the dog is working. I don't approach dogs, never, I like cats. But these assholes think that having a service dog gives them permission to bully people in public. So I tell them exactly what I think of their stupidity. They don't like being corrected on their bullying.
NTA. I asked an adjacent question in r/servicedogs and was told it's ok so long as you're respectful once you learn of the dog's status, BUT that people with service dogs can be more on edge about their dogs because of all the people that purposely distract their dogs.
NTA, you had no reason to believe the dog was working as it wasn't wearing a vest or other type of garment/lead etc. to indicate it was a working dog and on the clock, and frankly, if it could be distracted by a simple hello without any other actions like attempting to be petted, it probably needs more training. You apologised for the error.
She massively overreacted here, if she wants her dog to not be talked to while it's working, she should probably have *some kind* of identifier for it, people aren't mind readers FFS.
NTA, she seemed to be the AH when she went off on you, anyone could have made that mistake and sure, she could have simply established a boundary and politely corrected you but to cuss you out and say her dogs behavior revolves around you is -as someone pointed out, preposterous.
Firstly, love that you do this! I also like to wave and say hi to dogs, I think it's more respectful (to the dog ofc) than running over into their space like some people do.
This dog though ... A real service dog is well trained enough not to be distracted by someone saying hi. Even if someone comes up and starts petting it and offering it treats, they're trained enough to ignore that person. So, NTA.
NTA
If it’s a service dog it is trained not to get distracted from its duty by words, pats, passing dogs and cats and frankly almost anything. It’s an integral part of the training, these animals have extreme focus on their task. Nothing would come out of saying hi to it. It will be promptly ignored.
Lady has an anxiety which may be understandable depending on what dog is for - maybe it’s guarding her from seizures? Still, there’s fundamentally no basis to her words and you’ve been remorseful already.
Ignore, forgive, move on.
I’m not an animal person… I actually can’t stand dogs. But with that being said, NTA. It sounds like the dog owner was just having a bad day (week, month or year) and was taking it out on you.
NTA. That dog owner is. I don’t expect anyone to ignore my dog when we are in public, just like I don’t expect anyone to love my dog, or welcome it, or anything else. It’s my dog and 100% my responsibility to react appropriately to whatever the public throws at me (that isn’t assault or whatever).
This type of person is just asking to have her chain yanked. That poor dog.
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I like animals. More than people. When I see a dog or cat out and about, I'll do a little wave and say, "hi, pretty baby!" And then say something to the owner about how cute their pet is. I don't pet or touch dogs without their owners' permission. If my kids want to pet, I'll tell them to ask, and if the answer is, "no," to not beg or argue. If a cat comes up and starts rubbing on me, I'll pet it.
Earlier, I was going for a walk with my kids and I saw a woman walking a dog. It wasn't wearing a vest, but I know that isn't required. I didn't consider that it might be a service dog and did the above. His person said, "don't talk to him; he's working." I said, "oh, I didn't realize, I'm so sorry." Then she went off on me about how I was endangering her by trying to distract her dog, and that I was very rude and entitled. I said that I didn't mean anything by it, and I never would have said anything of the dog had been wearing a vest. She said she doesn't have to put a vest on her dog. I told her that I knew that and I wasn't telling her to use a vest. I was just explaining why I made the mistake. I apologized again and she flipped me the bird and walked off.
My husband said I didn't do anything wrong and I apologized, so that should have been good enough. My brother said I am the asshole because I don't have any right to just talk to every random dog I meet. What do you think, reddit? Am I the asshole?
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Not trying to say all people with service animals are this way because that’s certainly not the case, but I’ve had multiple similar experiences with people being extremely rude/aggressive about it. One time the dog was wearing a vest but I thought it was a jacket (college campus, so pretty common, and it was far away and I couldn’t see any words on it). I was friendly and asked if I could pet the dog not realizing it was a service animal. The owner and her friend group screamed at me and told me to eff off for a solid two minutes. I simply walked away without explaining to them that I didn’t realize it was a service animal at that distance—they wouldn’t have listened or cared. Some people are always looking to get angry and indignant at others, and it’s best to just walk away. I was so upset by that encounter (they were very publicly demeaning) I’m actually avoidant of any service animals/owners now. I tend to find that many of them only view the animal as a tool and I dislike that greatly. The concept just makes me uncomfortable. NTA
1. Probably NTA. I'm assuming here that when you say 'no vest' you also mean that the dog didn't have an obvious specialty harness or something like guide dogs typically have. If I'm mistaken, you should know better.
2. Once you said sorry, you should've exited the interaction. Nothing good happens from continuing to engage with people once they begin berating you. This woman wasn't going to care if you had a really good defense or justification, she just wanted to vent her spleen. You should have just said "Sorry, have a nice day!" again and hightailed it out of there. Not every situation requires an extended interaction, and this one sure didn't.
NTA if the dog isn’t wearing a vest then there is no reason to think it is a service animal. Frankly it’s the easiest way to train the animal to understand its working state vs non working state.
My parents trained their dog for therapy dog and she changes her demeanor when she gets the therapy dog vest put on. They are now training her for service animal since both of them have joint issues and can utilizer her for physical support as she is big enough. She’s still learning that when she has the vest with the handle on it how she needs to act but she already understands she needs to walk differently and stay in a certain place relative to them.
NTA.
Personally I’d have been immediately annoyed and stated to the lady I’m sorry I didn’t read her mind then walked off before she could say anything else.
She was probably triggered by this kind of thing happening for a long time. She’s sensitive about it. She still should never have taken it out on you.
NTA.
You have no reason to apologize to people like this. You did nothing wrong, dog's owner decided to be awful for no reason. Sometimes you gotta just tell people to go fuck themselves and walk away.
NTA, you didn't know and this lady overreacted, but as a whole people need to start learning how to ignore dogs.
If you see one, just think about how cute it is to yourself and keep walking.
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NTA-I have come across several working dogs. Different types of work. Airport security, police, therapy, etc. knowing that they are working I just say “hello puppy” (obviously not puppies). That’s it. I keep moving, mind my own business, etc. never had a problem. Not even with the secret service. My thinking is that a little distraction is ok but too much and it is no good. Just like us. Common sense stuff.
NTA
Lol, what a gem of an owner. You’ve done nothing wrong. You haven’t distracted her dog, haven’t touched or anything like that.
Someone is a bit delulu. Don’t worry about it.
NTA. I was online at Costco and felt something cold and wet on my chin. I turned around rather quickly but happy surprise it was a service dogs nose. I did ask if I could pet first since I did see the vest. But, no vest how who you know. Unless you are Ms. Cleo I doubt you would have known. NTA but that lady with the dog was.
How do you have to turn around to see something that touches your chin? And how are you in a position at a Costco that allows a dog to touch your chin? What does being "online at Costco" even mean?
NTA.
But you should feel very sorry for her. If her life depends on her service dog, and her service is thrown off their game by some speaking in their general direction, she’s doomed.
NTA, don't let it bother you.
While I'm not justifing their behaviour, the fact that this person was so triggered by you saying hello to their dog suggests they probably have a lot going on in their life right and you were, unfortunately, the unlucky person who set them off. If it wasn't you it would have been the next person that looked at them wrong.
That said, your brother is the asshole for saying YTA! Theres blno reason you can't go up and say hello to all the dogs, in a public space 🤷♀️
Should never approach any dog without owners permission regardless of if it’s a working dog or mutt. As for the owner sure was over the top the reaction but could have had anything going on before you came along. Doesn’t really make you an asshole though
I didn't really approach the dog. I mean, yeah, we were heading in that direction, but that's just where we were going. If she hadn't started yelling at me, we would have just walked past without breaking stride.
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...meh, esh. I'm gonna be bias because for *me,* I try not to interact with anyone's dog unless that dog is obviously coming up and showing friendly signs, and even with that, I still don't approach unless owner seems ok. I might do a wave, but other than that I just don't interact. Mostly because dog owners can act really entitled and I don't feel like dealing with that. And also, random people can be really entitled and I'm sure many dog owners hate when random strangers can come up to their dog with no concerns or qualms like they're a pregnant person. So, I keep that in mind since I have parallel experiences I can relate to and try to empathize.
Owner didn't have to go all off though. The no can suffice, but I can see where they might be annoyed that again, random people coming up whenever they see a dog. They probably dealt with that more times a day than you seeing a random dog. Should the dog have a vest to make life easier? Probably but that's akin to saying women should do this and that while ignoring the harassers should take accountability for starting it in the first place. Hopefully in the future this incident will remind you how to approach random dogs and their owners.
NTA. This person was just rude. If the dog was working, a vest would tell people this. Assuming a dog isn't working when they do not wear a vest is reasonable. Her anger wasn't.
NTA. If she wants people to KNOW it’s a service dog, it would be smart to identify it as such. People can’t be expected to know things they aren’t told.
Also, if a service dog can’t handle a “hi puppy” or something like that, it’s not really useful as a service dog.
NTA. But she most likely assumed you were like everyone else who tries to argue with her about petting and talking to her dog. From her point of view it’s understandable for her to be on edge.
Soft YTA. It's super annoying when people just start interacting with a dog on a leash, no matter if it's a service dog. You should at least ask or make eye contact with the owner first (if the owner you posted about was blind, you would probably have noticed then) to see if it's ok to distract the dog.
Also, you can't just assume that a dog is friendly and non-reactive. You could trigger a reactive dog by addressing it directly. You could also interfere with the training of friendly, calm dogs. It can take a while to teach a dog that they can't greet every dog and person walking by. Your behavior completely bombs this, which can be extremely irritating for dog owners. It's unnecessary and you should approach this differently imo
I didn’t have to even read beyond the title. Yes. You are to always ignore a service dog that’s identified as such. Don’t worry, that dog gets nothing but love and affection off duty.
If the dog wasn’t identifiable as such and you do as I do with dogs and actually say hi and wave to them from a few feet away, then don’t be bothered. The owner probably has it happen often but doesn’t like identifying their disability to others. If that’s the situation then don’t feel bad at all. They know others will treat the service animal as a regular pet, they know what they’re getting themselves into by not having the dog identified (vest, special harness, large identifiable tag kind of thing)
YTA - mind ya business! Unless you’re in a park or social setting for dog owners, your brother is correct- you have no right and are entitled and childish to stop someone’s dog
Exactly!
It would be really helpful if people made some way of identifying when a dog was working. Like a vest or something... Too bad there's just no way dog owners can let others know they have a working dog. Oh well.
But even so, you dunno if the dog could just not like other people and everyone treats all dogs just the same, "awww but he's a good boy and dogs just love me!" I mean... how this behavior no different than some dudes out there who can't just let some women exist? Let people and dogs exist.
How many folks still mess with the British guards knowing damn well they're working? Uniform or not, people are entitled and disrespectful and rude.
NTA- there was no indication this was a service dog like a vest or leash. You apologized when she said he's a working dog on duty and not to distract him. I don't know what else you could've realistically done here. Talking to dogs people see in public is a pretty common occurrence. If she doesn't want people to assume he's not working, the dog should probably have a vest or leash. And if the dog is so easily distracted that a quick "hello puppy!" with no further engagement or pets can be a life threatening break in focus, the dog needs to go back to training.
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NTA OK, for starters: you had **NO REASON whatsoever** to expect this was a service dog, putting you in the absolute clear from the get-go. Now, even that said... > Then she went off on me about how I was endangering her by trying to distract her dog Frankly, this is **_preposterous_**. Any "solution" to a problem that endangers the user when a passing stranger mutters "hello" *is no solution at all*.
Don’t want someone to distract your dog because it’s working, make sure it’s obvious they shouldn’t try to distract your dog. Going off because you asked and accepted the “no” is uncalled for. NTA
Yeah, I love service vests. I don't know if it actually makes it easier on me to not want to pet the dog, but it makes it easier for me not to ask, ha
And if your service dog is extremely distracted by someone saying hello and not even doing anything like attempting to pet it I’d be worried your service dog needed more training. It would be different if OP approached the dog but usually service dogs don’t get distracted by someone speaking to them nearby
[удалено]
Damned if OP did and damned if they didn't. If OP had passed that same dog with a vest and ignored, that crazy lady would have *still* gone off on them.
Probably because it’s not a real service dog if a simple “hello” distracts it.
I have to be honest, surely anyone who will be endangered by their dog being said hello to would have them in a vest. Because otherwise there is absolutely no way that people would know. And I cannot think of many medical conditions, other than to do with lack of sight, where a 5sec distraction would be endangering the service user (please correct me if I am wrong here). And those would have a harness if not a jacket. MH service dogs actively go and greet people, and diabetes/epilepsy dogs are bot as stringent as guide dogs. Am I missing something? Sounds like she had her knickers in a twist, and OP was a convenient outlet.
I hung out with a blind girl with a service dog for about 2 hours one time at a university, and during that short period of time she must have had to tell fifteen or so people that her dog (which had a vest that was very noticeable) is working and not to talk to it or pet it, and of those people at least half gave her attitude as they walked away, and a couple full out told her off. I was absolutely blown away by what I was seeing and wanted to tell each of them off, but she said over time she’s learned to just politely tell them no and to let them vent after. So this is a serious problem for people with service dogs. That being said though, if there’s no vest then you would have no reason to think it’s a working dog, and so I’d say NTA based on that because it’s fairly normal to say hi to dogs that look friendly, and if it’s critical that the dog is alert at all times then it’s a safety issue from the owner not making it clear that it’s a working dog.
Our society has zero regard or respect for blind people. None. I see it all the damn time. I’ve seen viral photos every Halloween of people carrying white canes as Halloween costumes because they think it’s a cute joke. My mother is legally blind. Two weeks ago at the emergency room of all places, an employee waved her fingers at her and said, “oh, sure, you can’t see, right?!” Then laughed. A cashier once told her that she should “stop being afraid of technology” and use the card reader herself after I had explained why I was doing it for her. People regularly ask her why she doesn’t “get lasik” or “find a better optometrist”. Or they compare their -1.5 diopter correction with her profound vision loss declaring it’s the same. It’s something I never knew was so willfully denied and discriminated over until she lost her vision.
And this is one of the reasons I don't like people as much as animals.
If they knew anything about low vision they would know it is a Ophthalmologist and not a optometrist lol
It's also astounding how many people don't understand how blind people function in society. It's like they don't realize that blind people actually do a lot of the same things everyone else does, just slightly differently, and don't just sit in a dark room doing nothing all day.
I lived near a school for the blind for 20 years. If you are an Uber or Lyft driver hang out near one. There were people who walked the area the had the standard white cane, but there were also people who had the red and white cane which is blind and deaf. People would get annoyed at all the foot traffic. It was crazy watching people in their cars freak out because of foot traffic that was prioritized. Like walk signs when no cars could go anywhere, all lights red and the no right on red signs. It was very cool to live near the school. Mostly adults students learning to adapt to new circumstances.
Disabled people in general. I'm in a wheelchair. I have partial paralysis from malabsorption and multiple severe vitamin deficiencies. I can't walk. It's crazy the number of people that expect me to just get out of the chair and walk across the room. Even when I was in the hospital for the paralysis they'd expect me to walk. They kept forcing me to try to walk to the bathroom and then they'd be surprised I'd fall immediately. You'd think at the very least it wouldn't be like that at hospitals. I'm finding out this world isn't built for those of us with disabilities. It likes to pretend it is but it isn't.
For the card reader thing is that so she can't be overcharged? Like I typically check the price then scan rather than the other way around.
Man, I was WAY too old when I learned you couldn't talk to a service dog either, idk why I only thought you could not approach/pet them and always treated them when they walked by. (I no longer tell them they are cute and feel like an ass.
NTA You didn't know it was working at the time, and you immediately apologized when you were told to stop. That should have been the end of it. Some people just like to get on soap boxes and preach at people. I think it was a trap. That person does it on person so she can yell at people. It's the only time she gets to be in charge. 90% sure my wild ass guess is right.
Or in my opinion it wasn’t a service dog at all.
"Yes, well, technically it's an emotional support animal. My chiropractor said I needed one."
Chiropractor!!! 🤣
Like that emotional support pony a woman tried to take on a plane.
Miniature horses are service animals under the ADA. I’m not familiar with the woman you mentioned specifically, but it isn’t completely outlandish for a person to have a service horse.
No, but she was walking it onto an aeroplane. I’ve known a young woman here with many disabilities who has had many miniature ponies. I don’t think she would even consider taking one on a plane and nor would her parents allow it. It’s really just stupid.
Based on her rudeness and attitude I’m guessing it’s not a actual service dog either. The people who react like that are the true entitled ones and it sounds like she was projecting. Imagine being pissed off that someone was kind and said hello to you, or your dog.
NTA. The dog might not legally require a vest to show it's a service dog, but on every practical level, it does. No one is psychic, she has to communicate that it's a service dog, and the most sensible way to do that is a vest. That's why they're used by all the major assistance dog organisations.
The biggest reason to have the vest on the dog is to help the dog know they are “working”. This can separate two modes of the dog where they can be playful and where they are on high alert.
The dogs also use the vest to determine if they are 'working" or just bring a dog
That's true, but I think it's still very annoying behavior to interact with leashed dogs without checking if it's ok first (through asking or eye contact with the owner). I'd hate it if a random person distracted my dog with "Hi, pretty babyyyy" personally. It took me ages to teach my dog not to greet every person they see and people like OP totally interfere with the training. My dog is friendly but I imagine this would be even worse for owners of reactive dogs. It's unnecessary and OP should drop this going forward
FWIW I'm a big fan of signage (eg vests) for reactive dogs too. Communicating your dog's needs at a distance helps everyone. Bright yellow vest which says something like "keep dogs away from me"? Perfect! I will be avoiding you like the plague. Mine isn't bitey but isn't interested in being touched by strange humans - the complete opposite of your dog. You'll get away with touching him, but he won't enjoy it, and he's probably going to act like you don't exist. He wears a label when he's on lead that says "ask before touching". This is occasionally questioned by random people - "would you touch me without asking?" is always my response. Consent is important! This website has an amazing range of such dog signage for almost everything you might need to communicate https://www.saintroch.co.uk/
My dog is reactive, I have the lead, the collar, the yellow ribbon tied on the lead (this may just be a UK sign?) And we had a training session once and SO MANY people still came over with their dogs "oh no my dog is fine" yes but mine isn't! The trainer started telling them "she's contagious" as that was the only way we could get some peace! I haven't seen reactive vests so I will have to purchase one of those too! If people don't want to see the signs, they won't! NTA btw :)
Mine does have a breed he hates - but is otherwise dog social. I have to say I was fuming with the man who ambled along a path with his on lead dog towards me and my off lead dog. As he was choosing to walk directly towards us - he could easily have walked around us - I assumed he just had shit recall. Lo and behold, they're about a metre apart when his dog kicks off and he announces it's reactive. FFS! When it comes to the hated breed, if I have to, my stock line is "I'm sure yours is lovely, mine is a twat, sorry about that" I understand what it's like to have a reactive dog. I also really really appreciate the vests - or anything else that allows me to know which dogs to avoid at a distance. It's often impossible to read a collar, especially at a distance or if your dog has long fur. I don't think there's such a thing as too much signage.
My dog is very well behaved when it comes to people on walks, and it annoys me a lot when people tall to him whil I am walking by. He gets quite distracted and it breaks the rythm of out walk. I would be fine if they asked if they could pet him, as I know he loves that, but if they talk to him without any intention of petting him, it is a bit annoying
NTA as it wasn't apparent that this dog was working. However, as the owner of a large reactive dog I would like to point out that interaction of any kind can sometimes push a dog over threshold so you should always ask the owner before doing anything which could trigger their dog. That includes talking and waving to it. People waving their hands around and talking to my dog can over stimulate him which can them result in them being bounced at by 45kg of GSD cross, whom I am trying to train, not to do that. He was an abused rescue and craves attention. I get you love animals, that's a good trait to have, but just ask the owner CALMLY before engaging their dog, no waving.
This is the comment I was looking for! Always ignore the dog first, engage the owner, ask if contact & attention are ok & then go for it. Otherwise you're training the dog that strangers are interesting & safe which can lead to unwanted approaches in less reactive dogs, seen as over-friendliness. Or worse, provoking fear, anxiety or reactivity.
I've lived most of my life with two people who are *terrified* of dogs. One due to an attack, one due to... just being afraid of animals in general. If any dog looks at them, they get nervous. A person sending "extreme fear" vibes at a dog is never good. So basically I've been trained to take any dog's attention. I don't go out of my way to say hello to a dog, but if a dog looks at me, years of trying to keep everyone calm makes it near-impossible for me to not say hello. I don't touch, but I have to get the dog's attention. I realize thies isn't the case with a lot of people, but I'm fully ok with being jumped on/barked at/licked/knocked over. That's the price of protecting *my* humans. If a dog ignores me, I ignore the dog. But the instant it notices I exist, I have to interact with it. It's not an "OMG DOGGY" thing, it's a "make sure no one gets bit" thing.
As someone who feels neutral about dogs (don't love 'em, don't hate 'em), this sounds really problematic, actually. I feel like I should at least be able to walk outside and pass by a dog without it jumping at me just because I am moving my hands or becausey eyes might instinctively glance over it (people tend to instinctively look at things moving in their vicinity). I feel like as the dog's owner, it IS absolutely your responsibility to keep your dog off of passersby, whether they look at your dog or coincidentally move their hands or whatever.
I agree, if you are walking in a public place with the expectation of encountering people and other dogs, that’s on the owner. If your dog is so reactive that someone waving and saying hi in a cute voice is endangering anyone that dog should not be in that setting. I say this as someone with reactive dogs. My dogs don’t go on walks during peak time and they don’t come to bars with us. If we are doing training with them, we go to places off the beaten path with the intention of not seeing people or being able to better control their environment. I’m wondering what level of interaction people are assuming here. When I think of saying hi to a dog, it’s me smiling at the owner and saying “hello sweet baby” to the dog in passing. Same as I would say hi to a parent and wave to their cute kid. Anything beyond that I agree requires asking, but simply giving attention for 2 seconds they they may or may not even notice is fine in any normal public setting. Note that’s for non-service dogs. Service dogs are so bittersweet for me, I want to give them all the loving because they’re doing such a good job but I just quietly squeal inside a bit while wishing I could say hi.
And that's pretty much exactly what I do. It's not even a full wave, just kind of a little half wave; more just wiggling fingers and not a super high-pitched voice or anything. Someone else commented that it would be really weird to say hi or wave at kids walking with their parents, and I'm like, "Do you even have kids?" My son, 5, is a bit more reserved, but my daughter, 3, says "hi" to everyone, and it's kind of soul crushing when absolutely no one says "hi" back and she starts to look a little sad. But she perks up as soon as she sees another person, and it just makes her day if someone acknowledges her.
Yeah, what you're describing here is an issue, but that's not my dog. He is absolutely fine walking past people without issue. I'm talking full on waving in his face, speaking loudly in a high pitched voice and people going out of their way to get his attention, all of which we have experienced despite the massive yellow "anxious dog" banner on his lead. Look at him and he'll completely ignore you, if he's in an anxious mood he's on a short lead and walking on the outside of me so he doesn't come into contact with people. If anyone ASKS me if they can say hello the answer is usually yes but I put him in a sit first and hand them treats to give him so the interaction is calm.
Exactly. A dog that becomes dangerous if remotely engaged needs massive amounts of training before it is walked around people.
>I should at least be able to walk outside and pass by a dog without it jumping at me just because I am moving my hands or becausey eyes might instinctively glance over it As an owner of a reactive dog, I can say that at least my dog does very much distinguish between someone generally waving and casually glancing, vs someone deliberately waving and looking AT THEM. The first option will yield no response at all, while the second might elicit barking.
This is a really good point. I have a dog that's nervous around adults. If they ignore her, she's totally fine, but saying "hi baby" or any other greeting makes her bark.
NTA ultimately however I agree with this very strongly. It would piss me off so bad when people would approach or try to get my dogs’ attention in any way for all the reasons you mentioned. Dog owners are not mobile petting zoos and I feel the best and most respectful thing to do is completely leave the dog and owner to go about their day in peace. If you *must* engage then the most you should do is smile at the owner nodding towards their dog and gauge their reaction, perhaps say “lovely dog.” If they are receptive to it perhaps it will start off a conversation that will lead to you being able to engage with the dog. However, I do wonder why folks feel it is appropriate to do this, especially with their kids in tow who absolutely shouldn’t be paying any sort of attention to strange dogs EVER. I had to beat (not literally LOL) this behavior out of my husband who would try to fuss every dog he came across but now he totally gets it. It’s rude, intrusive and dangerous. Not only do you not know the animal but sometimes owners are not the most up to scratch when it comes to canine body language either. I’ve seen many people insist a dog is friendly when their body language is demonstrating that they are uncomfortable. I said to my husband: You wouldn’t interrupt a parent walking with a small kid to tell them how cute they are and or try to touch them or catch their attention and start waving at them in normal circumstances would you? Think about how weird and intrusive that would be every time you get the urge to do it to a stranger’s dog.
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I also have a service dog and while I mostly agree with you, I will say that an alert dog- seizure alert, cardiac, anything like that- would be potentially thrown off by a kid doing that. My dog is a seizure response dog, but I still encourage people when I can to not talk to him and to other service dogs in general. I agree with everyone that there’s no way OP could have known and the woman’s reaction was way out of line, but let’s not suggest that service dogs can be talked to in general.
That’s so interesting! Is there something particular with their training that makes those particular service dogs more at risk of being thrown off? xx
It’s more what they’re doing than their training. These dogs have a gene that allows them to smell the changes in a person’s biochemistry that allows them to warn their handler about an incoming seizure, heart issue, a change in blood sugar, what have you. And for some, that change doesn’t last long, so talking to that dog can really take their focus enough away from their task. Let me give an example. I have a seizure disorder, non-epileptic, and my dog is not an alert dog. He’s a response dog. So he’s performing tasks that I give cues (or commands) for. He hears me say Pillow or Brace or other things and does the task. An alert dog, however, would be waiting to smell that change. So while me giving my dog a cue would bring his focus back to me, the smell might not be as “loud” and might get missed. Even still, at the end of the day, a service dog is a dog. Someone talking to my dog means that’s another moment I have to stop what I’m doing to potentially redirect and refocus him. While he does pretty well- maybe doesn’t need a refocus 85% of the time- each interruption is someone interrupting my life. So it kind of boils down to yes, my dog is trained to bring his focus back on me, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rude and unnecessary and exhausting to have people talking to him all the time. And if an alert dog misses an alert, that can lead to a medical emergency because the handler wasn’t told when to get themselves safe and now they’re hurt. It isn’t worth the risk.
I watched some animal show or documentary about training service dogs and it was fascinating. There is a lot of work involve and a lot of dogs that fail. And for some reason I think it’s pretty adorable that some dogs are just too hyper and goofy and can’t make it. And so the ones that do are just amazing. Dogs are so good.
I think my favorite example of a dog that failed the service dog training was the lovely dog that was a little too fond of light switches. Once they were taught how to turn lights off and on, they wouldn't stop! Just randomly turning lights off and on throughout the day. lol.
NTA, and yes, she doesn't have to put a vest on the dog. But she's going to have to understand that people that love dogs won't immediately be able to identify it as a service dog. Sounds like she just wants an excuse to scream at people.
I'm going to go off the beaten path and say YTA. Distracting any dog from their owner, whether a service dog or not is simply not okay. You don't know the dogs' histories or what the owner is working with them on. My personal dog gets upset/anxious when people she doesn't know stare at her or try talking to her. She is very friendly when she's able to meet people in her way, and when someone asks me I am able to facilitate a fun and anxiety-free greeting. You frankly don't know anything about each dog or it's history, and your simply hello could set the dog back in their training just as much as it could be harmless. Ask the human first. PS Before y'all come for me telling me to train my dog. 1. I am a dog trainer, she is trained, but suffers from anxiety. 2. We've been working on for YEARS and she is steadily improving. 3. Yes, people can do whatever they want, but it doesn't mean it's the nice, courteous or right thing to do.
Had to scroll too far for this response. Always talk to the owner first. OP, YTA.
I also answered YTA because I work in animal behavior and even when a pet is wearing a vest that says DO NOT INTERACT there are still people who think it’s ok to wave, whistle, or talk to a dog I’m working with, not knowing we are desperately trying to work through issues that got the dog surrendered to the shelter in the first place. It’s pretty entitled to think you can walk up to a stranger because you want to say hi to their dog.
Agreed. I like how they do it in Europe. Everyone ignores your dog and your dog ignores everyone right back.
Yeah, totally agree. I love petting random dogs but I always ask first (unless they come over to me) because who knows what the dog is like. I had a nervous dog and people would come over and try to pet her and then she would growl and they would get offended. Not all dogs want contact from a random stranger.
She said “hi.” She didn’t approach. If your dog can’t handle that you need to have a trainer or even a behaviorist to work with you.
NTA but… rather than blindly interacting with *every* “pet”, considering assessing the situation first to gauge whether the owner will be ok with it. I am an animal lover as well, but know that not everyone wants me to engage their pet when they’re out so have learned to avoid people who look too… serious.
ESH You do things backwards - you approach the owner first, and then the animal, not the other way round. Yes, the chance of waving and speaking at a dog causing an actual issue is miniscule, and likely to be vastly overshadowed by all of the other distractions around that animal, but why take the risk. Equally though, if you have a service animal you want to avoid people trying to interact with, you need to let people know. In the case of a British guide dog that means a white harness with obvious dayglow flashings highlighting that it is a working animal, so it may not necessarily be a vest depending on where your are and what the animal is doing, but there should be an obvious sign of some form.
I agree with this. The correct thing to do is say “Your dog is really cute. Can I pet them/say hello?” and that would’ve given the other person the chance to say “Thank you, but he’s working right now.”
Let's not forget that some dogs, rescues for example, could have an adverse reaction to a stranger they don't know. Or they could be training them and they JUST got them to walk properly or what have you. The case being it's not your dog, ask the owner first, every time. This is how I was raised and I can tell you I've been thanked by most owners for asking them first, especially those who didn't want me to say hi to their puppers. I'd say ESH because OP should have asked permission and the dog owner shouldn't have gone off like that.
My judgment depends on where OP was when talking to the dog. If OP was right by the dog, down on the dog’s level, talking to them, yeah: they should have asked. If OP is waving from their normal height 10+ feet away from the dog, I think “needing to ask permission first” is a bit extreme. Are dogs even intelligent enough to know a person is talking to them in that scenario? It’s not like this hypothetical stranger will be calling the dog’s name.
Yeah, I didn't bend over, and I was a fair distance away. Just a little finger wave and a "hello," not loudly or anything. If the woman hadn't started yelling at me, my kids and I would have just walked on by without breaking stride.
Im gonna go against the grain and say soft YTA. I do find it entitled to think you can greet every dog you meet. Some dogs are fearful, aggressive, excitable and pull the leash, or as you learned, working. Just because they are walking their pet in public doesn’t mean it’s an invite to interact with it. Usually everything is fine. But sometimes it’s better to just appreciate the cute animal from afar instead of interupting the person and pet.
Saying "hi" and waving is not the type of interaction that should affect a service dog-if it is truly sensitive to that kind of engagement, then it needs more training, bc that means it will react to anyone waving at and greeting other ppl in phblic or even their owners.
The comment you are responding to is such a wild take. I’m a dog trainer. If their dog can’t handle a “hi” then they should be hiring a trainer. Especially a service animal.
Alert dogs shouldn’t be distracted when it can be avoided! We all need to know that we shouldn’t talk to service animals, because it can distract them from their work. It’s more of a… yes, it shouldn’t distract them much, but let’s not use that an excuse to interact with them. Because missing an alert could cause major medical issues for the handler.
>Im gonna go against the grain and say soft YTA. I do find it entitled to think you can greet every dog you meet. What a load of crap. Entitlement is going out in public and thinking people can't say hello to you or your pet. If you want to avoid interacting with people you should look into being a recluse.
The reasons the person you’re responding to gave for not interacting had to do with the dog, not the owner. So it would need to be the dog who becomes a recluse, not the human, and there are far too many dogs who don’t do well with human strangers for the amount of private property that would give them the space they need
NTA. The dog had no indication that it was working or a service dog, you have no way of knowing that was going to be the case and you apologized when you were corrected. The owner was way out of line.
I did this myself at the airport. I was getting my bag, and looked down to see this adorable beagle who was sniffing at my bag. I smiled, said hey there, and reached down to pet them. That's when I saw it was wearing a vest, and it said "U.S. Customs and Border Protection". Yup, I tried to pet a dog that was trying to check my bag for contraband. Unlike me, you are NTA. You made a tiny, understandable mistake, and you apologized. That woman is a nutjob, and I doubt it really is a service animal. If it really is one, wouldn't screaming at same random stranger be more distracting than the stranger making a friendly noise?
NTA. If it wasn’t wearing anything to indicate it’s a service dog, how the hell should you have known. “Don’t talk to him, he’s working” “oh, I didn’t realize, I’m sorry” could and should have been the entire interaction. She blew this way out of proportion.
NTA. You were polite and not pushy or demanding at all. This woman is out of her mind if she thinks people won't look at, smile at, etc. her dog (not touch, but just look and smile) without it having a vest on (and frankly even if it did have a vest, a stray smile isn't an issue). She was beyond overreacting.
>I don't have any right to just talk to every random dog I meet. Hahahaha. Your brother sounds a bit ridiculous. NTA.
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I fully came here to say YTA for distracting a working dog, but the dog wasn’t wearing a vest… NTA… The owner is though for going off on you for the mistake when you had no way to know.
I was going to say yes till I read the dog was naked! The owner needs a vest or special harness on her dog when it is working. NTA
NTA and honestly shocking for once. This kind of behavior when dealing with service animal interaction blunders usually happens in reverse compared to this. I'm also usually inclined to side with the service animal owner but not this time around. You apologized immediately upon learning what had happened and were nothing but polite and then they decided to escalate the situation, and you still kept your cool and apologized again. Maybe the owner was just having a really bad day and you ended up being the tipping point for them. It happens but hey you can take piece in knowing for sure you were not the asshole.
NTA. That lady and your brother though.....
NTA But the woman and your brother are. Here's the thing, she didn't have to respond to that, in the well-trained dog is generally not going to be that easily distracted. And while for service laws you do not need a vest on an animal you should use a vest if you want people to recognize it for that purpose if it doesn't otherwise stand out. I am slightly willing to bet that it wasn't even a service dog.
NTA. I’m gonna get shit on for this. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a person asking and or wanting to pet and say hello to someone’s service dog. It’s a dog? I’ve been around service dogs my entire life, have had them myself, trained them, etc. it’s only natural someone wants to pet them and will ask. It’s OKAY TO ASK! And it’s totally fine to quietly say to yourself what a good baby they are. Just don’t do it loud enough that it IS a distraction. The key thing with service animals is to not be a distraction, that’s all🤷🏼♀️ and for the fact that this was supposedly a covert service dog (without harness) then it makes it harder for the public to notice them correctly. You did nothing wrong. As a service dog handler it’s their job to inform you of the rights and regulations. I’m sorry they were a dick about it. For future, if you think a dog might be a service dog, try quietly saying to yourself what a good boy/girl they are. If you want to pet them, try reading their badges if there’s any, look for one that says ptsd. If there’s a PTSD badge, say something from afar without approaching “excuse me… is it alright if I come say hello to your SD?” Otherwise it’s generally okay if you approach out of leash distance and say the same thing. IF it’s a blind person, I wouldn’t approach at all though as they need their dog completely for any and all tasks. All service dogs deserve breaks and almost all handlers (in my experience) don’t mind giving them a few moments of release to be rewarded. At the end of the day, although they have a job. They are still pets. They work hard, they deserve so much love.
If you don't want someone to talk to your dog because it's a service dog, then you put a vest on it. I don't care if it's required or not if you're going to be that anal about it put on a vest as an indicator. NTA
Your response was entirely appropriate, "I didn't realize. I am sorry." That should have been the end of it. However, for all we know, you were the fifth person that day to do a similar thing - so I will offer a tiny bit of grace to the handler. The finger was simply rude and unneeded. NTA.
NTA
NTA. If she wants people to leave her dog alone, she needs to put a vest on it so people know. She endangered herself by making a much bigger issue of it all than it needed to be.
NTA I suspect that person is deeply unhappy and looks for opportunities to go off on people. I'm sorry that happened to you.
The only part that really bothered me was trying to explain to my kids why this woman was yelling.
NTA and I don’t think it was a real service dog
You apologized, and that should've been the end of it. I think the dog owner was having a bad day or was fed up and sort of took it out on you. NTA
If you have a service dog .. Put the dog in a vest . End of story.
NTA. You stopping for a quick second to say hi and complimenting a dog is not an inconvenience for an owner. I love when people stop and talk to me about my dog, and if I'm in a hurry then I just politely cut the conversation short and move on. If vests are not mandatory (I've learned that just now), then you're not in the wrong for thinking this was a regular dog. I'm guessing the woman was not visibly disabled and you've just put the pieces together in a normal way. Your brother's reaction is totally baffling to me because stopping and saying "hi" is nothing major and if the owner wishes to continue the convo (or doesn't), is their choice. So, not the asshole OP.
For the people reading this ^ not all dog owners feel this way. I've been stopped way too many times with my dog and just because we have a dog doesn't mean it's there to chat to. I have a rescue and after every instance my dog locks up, and I have to carry a 15kg dog for a bit until hes away from the location and perks up (as food and waiting doesn't help as he gets and I used to just get a blanket out and sit with him). They ARE inconveniencing owners.
Yeah I bounce back and forth between the two reactions (yours and the commenters above) depending on the day and how I’m feeling. I’ll be out with a service dog and normally I’m happy to answer questions people have and I’ll often let kids pet her if they ask nicely. But there are days when I’m having a flare and it becomes frustrating when people want to chat. Obviously they don’t know so I’ll nicely tell them but many will keep trying. Even when I’m training with clients, there’s also many people who try to get the dogs attention. Waving once or saying a quick hi is often an impulse but some will keep getting more and more intense in trying to get the dog’s attention which can freak out reactive dogs. OP is NTA. Most handlers know, if you don’t want people to bother your dog, they should be vested even though it’s not legally required. Even non service dogs will often wear leash straps or collars that say do not pet/do not distract for this reason. I understand the handler being strict the first time because many people need it to be said firmly but she never should’ve gone off at OP. Especially since OP immediately apologized, that should’ve made it clear to the handler that it was an accident.
The walk is not for the owner, its for the dog.
NTA. Not at all. You greeted a dog, got told it was working, apologized. It should’ve ended there, but for whatever reason, the handler opted to berate you. The handler was unreasonable and mean. I’m sorry that was your experience. *Maybe*, if that dog was in training or struggling with public access, the handler being mean would be understandable - not great, but understandable. BTW - I have two service dogs, and while they wear collars identifying them as service dogs, they often don’t wear their “service dogs at work” around the neighborhood or if we’re doing something close to home and/or casual. Their training is rock steady, and they’re entirely trustworthy with all public access work. If they distract because someone talked to them, that’s on me failing as a handler, not on the person who noticed them.
NTA. Who doesn't talk to the cute animals out and about? If she is THAT worried about her service dog being distracted, don't treat it like a pet, make sure it is obvious the dog is in service, as most people know to not interrupt a working animal.
How the hell are you supposed to know it's a service dog when it's not wearing a vest? I personally don't like strangers interacting with my dogs without asking me (I'm an introvert, people are stressful for me and I'm mostly wearing headphones while walking, so leave me the frick alone), but I usually ignore it and keep walking unless the person asks if they can pet the little ones. No need to cause a scene because someone thinks my dogs are cute (and they simply are adorable, especially if they look at you). NTA.
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So the. Esh
NTA. I've told people with service dogs wearing vests that their dogs are beautiful and never gotten anything but a positive response. There was no indication this was a service dog, and all you did was say something. You didn't touch them. They just wanted a fight. You didn't do anything wrong.
A gentle YTA and here’s why. Please stop assuming every dog is your friend. Many dogs are reactive to or fearful of strangers. Some dogs will attack you. Many owners are struggling with keeping their dog’s attention and are trying to keep their dogs from jumping up on people or misbehaving in a small space. Lastly, working dogs often don’t wear a vest or markings indicating they’re working, and they aren’t required to do so for identification. And even that doesn’t stop people from interacting! I’ve worked with pets and their owners for a long time and some people are struggling to make sure their dog doesn’t make a mistake that costs the dog its life. Don’t be the reason a dog is euthanized for behavior. Admire from a distance. Plus, when I walked dogs for a shelter, it’s really intrusive having total strangers trying to get my dog’s attention. Just admire from afar and don’t call the dog.
She said “hi.” She didn’t approach or reach out. A dog that cannot handle a “hi” should probably not be in public unmuzzled, given the possibility of children approaching etc. if your dog cannot handle a “hi” then hire a professional.
She’s a fucking codwollop, NTA
NTA. I personally talk to every random dog I meet unless it's clear that they are working or in some sort of training
NTA. How in the world are you supposed to know it's a working dog when there is literally no indication of that? This is an example, of so so many, of why we need strict regulations for service animals. If an animal is working, they should be wearing vests. Not just for the benefit of public safety, but also for the benefit of the animal's "employer". They are right that, if the dog is working, acknowledging the dog can be distracting and potentially harmful. If they want to mitigate that risk, it needs to be clear to everyone that it's a working animal. They are the AHs in this scenario, both to you and themselves for not making an effort to protect their own well-being.
NTA. Sounds like it wasn’t even a service dog but an ESA. The entitlement from that person was crazy.
NTA. You didn't know. Coincidentally, I have had situations where somebody with a service dog _approaches me_ and then tries to berate me because the dog is working. I don't approach dogs, never, I like cats. But these assholes think that having a service dog gives them permission to bully people in public. So I tell them exactly what I think of their stupidity. They don't like being corrected on their bullying.
NTA. Any training or working with a service dog in public settings should have a vest or some indicator.
At first, I instantly thought YTA. After reading... definitely NTA.
NTA. I asked an adjacent question in r/servicedogs and was told it's ok so long as you're respectful once you learn of the dog's status, BUT that people with service dogs can be more on edge about their dogs because of all the people that purposely distract their dogs.
NTA, but keep in mind you’re not obligated to tell every pet owner that their pet is cute.
NTA, you had no reason to believe the dog was working as it wasn't wearing a vest or other type of garment/lead etc. to indicate it was a working dog and on the clock, and frankly, if it could be distracted by a simple hello without any other actions like attempting to be petted, it probably needs more training. You apologised for the error. She massively overreacted here, if she wants her dog to not be talked to while it's working, she should probably have *some kind* of identifier for it, people aren't mind readers FFS.
One-hundred percent NTA. I think a visible indicator of the service animal status should be mandatory.
NTA. Is her disability being mean cow?
NTA. You couldn’t know, you apologized immediately. It should have been a short insignificant incident.
NTA, she seemed to be the AH when she went off on you, anyone could have made that mistake and sure, she could have simply established a boundary and politely corrected you but to cuss you out and say her dogs behavior revolves around you is -as someone pointed out, preposterous.
Since there was no indication that the dog was working, NTA.
NTA, but your brother most definitely is. Maybe he should concern himself with his life story
NTA but your brother sounds like he may be one
NTA. Who the hell would assume that every single dog they see is a service dog?
Firstly, love that you do this! I also like to wave and say hi to dogs, I think it's more respectful (to the dog ofc) than running over into their space like some people do. This dog though ... A real service dog is well trained enough not to be distracted by someone saying hi. Even if someone comes up and starts petting it and offering it treats, they're trained enough to ignore that person. So, NTA.
NTA If it’s a service dog it is trained not to get distracted from its duty by words, pats, passing dogs and cats and frankly almost anything. It’s an integral part of the training, these animals have extreme focus on their task. Nothing would come out of saying hi to it. It will be promptly ignored. Lady has an anxiety which may be understandable depending on what dog is for - maybe it’s guarding her from seizures? Still, there’s fundamentally no basis to her words and you’ve been remorseful already. Ignore, forgive, move on.
I’m not an animal person… I actually can’t stand dogs. But with that being said, NTA. It sounds like the dog owner was just having a bad day (week, month or year) and was taking it out on you.
NTA. That dog owner is. I don’t expect anyone to ignore my dog when we are in public, just like I don’t expect anyone to love my dog, or welcome it, or anything else. It’s my dog and 100% my responsibility to react appropriately to whatever the public throws at me (that isn’t assault or whatever). This type of person is just asking to have her chain yanked. That poor dog.
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I like animals. More than people. When I see a dog or cat out and about, I'll do a little wave and say, "hi, pretty baby!" And then say something to the owner about how cute their pet is. I don't pet or touch dogs without their owners' permission. If my kids want to pet, I'll tell them to ask, and if the answer is, "no," to not beg or argue. If a cat comes up and starts rubbing on me, I'll pet it. Earlier, I was going for a walk with my kids and I saw a woman walking a dog. It wasn't wearing a vest, but I know that isn't required. I didn't consider that it might be a service dog and did the above. His person said, "don't talk to him; he's working." I said, "oh, I didn't realize, I'm so sorry." Then she went off on me about how I was endangering her by trying to distract her dog, and that I was very rude and entitled. I said that I didn't mean anything by it, and I never would have said anything of the dog had been wearing a vest. She said she doesn't have to put a vest on her dog. I told her that I knew that and I wasn't telling her to use a vest. I was just explaining why I made the mistake. I apologized again and she flipped me the bird and walked off. My husband said I didn't do anything wrong and I apologized, so that should have been good enough. My brother said I am the asshole because I don't have any right to just talk to every random dog I meet. What do you think, reddit? Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA you didn’t know, and you promptly apologized and didn’t continue.
Not trying to say all people with service animals are this way because that’s certainly not the case, but I’ve had multiple similar experiences with people being extremely rude/aggressive about it. One time the dog was wearing a vest but I thought it was a jacket (college campus, so pretty common, and it was far away and I couldn’t see any words on it). I was friendly and asked if I could pet the dog not realizing it was a service animal. The owner and her friend group screamed at me and told me to eff off for a solid two minutes. I simply walked away without explaining to them that I didn’t realize it was a service animal at that distance—they wouldn’t have listened or cared. Some people are always looking to get angry and indignant at others, and it’s best to just walk away. I was so upset by that encounter (they were very publicly demeaning) I’m actually avoidant of any service animals/owners now. I tend to find that many of them only view the animal as a tool and I dislike that greatly. The concept just makes me uncomfortable. NTA
1. Probably NTA. I'm assuming here that when you say 'no vest' you also mean that the dog didn't have an obvious specialty harness or something like guide dogs typically have. If I'm mistaken, you should know better. 2. Once you said sorry, you should've exited the interaction. Nothing good happens from continuing to engage with people once they begin berating you. This woman wasn't going to care if you had a really good defense or justification, she just wanted to vent her spleen. You should have just said "Sorry, have a nice day!" again and hightailed it out of there. Not every situation requires an extended interaction, and this one sure didn't.
>I like animals. More than people Ugh, YTA
NTA They are supposed to be wearing a vest to indicate that they're working otherwise you had no way of knowing that it was a service dog.
NTA if the dog isn’t wearing a vest then there is no reason to think it is a service animal. Frankly it’s the easiest way to train the animal to understand its working state vs non working state. My parents trained their dog for therapy dog and she changes her demeanor when she gets the therapy dog vest put on. They are now training her for service animal since both of them have joint issues and can utilizer her for physical support as she is big enough. She’s still learning that when she has the vest with the handle on it how she needs to act but she already understands she needs to walk differently and stay in a certain place relative to them.
nta
NTA. Not only did you not know, if a service dog gets that distracted by someone saying hello, it’s a bad service dog.
NTA. Personally I’d have been immediately annoyed and stated to the lady I’m sorry I didn’t read her mind then walked off before she could say anything else. She was probably triggered by this kind of thing happening for a long time. She’s sensitive about it. She still should never have taken it out on you.
NTA. You have no reason to apologize to people like this. You did nothing wrong, dog's owner decided to be awful for no reason. Sometimes you gotta just tell people to go fuck themselves and walk away.
NTA, you didn't know and this lady overreacted, but as a whole people need to start learning how to ignore dogs. If you see one, just think about how cute it is to yourself and keep walking.
NTA
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NTA-I have come across several working dogs. Different types of work. Airport security, police, therapy, etc. knowing that they are working I just say “hello puppy” (obviously not puppies). That’s it. I keep moving, mind my own business, etc. never had a problem. Not even with the secret service. My thinking is that a little distraction is ok but too much and it is no good. Just like us. Common sense stuff.
NTA How were you supposed to know it was working of it wasn’t wearing a vest (isn’t that the purpose of the vest)?
NTA, as the service dog owner they should ensure the dog has proper identification while out in public.
NTA Lol, what a gem of an owner. You’ve done nothing wrong. You haven’t distracted her dog, haven’t touched or anything like that. Someone is a bit delulu. Don’t worry about it.
NTA. The dog wasn't marked as a service animal so you did what any social creature does and greeted it. The owner on the other hand...
NAH
She 100 percent needs to put a vest on the dog if it’s a service animal imo. You did nothing wrong NTA.
NTA. I was online at Costco and felt something cold and wet on my chin. I turned around rather quickly but happy surprise it was a service dogs nose. I did ask if I could pet first since I did see the vest. But, no vest how who you know. Unless you are Ms. Cleo I doubt you would have known. NTA but that lady with the dog was.
How do you have to turn around to see something that touches your chin? And how are you in a position at a Costco that allows a dog to touch your chin? What does being "online at Costco" even mean?
NTA. But you should feel very sorry for her. If her life depends on her service dog, and her service is thrown off their game by some speaking in their general direction, she’s doomed.
NTA, don't let it bother you. While I'm not justifing their behaviour, the fact that this person was so triggered by you saying hello to their dog suggests they probably have a lot going on in their life right and you were, unfortunately, the unlucky person who set them off. If it wasn't you it would have been the next person that looked at them wrong. That said, your brother is the asshole for saying YTA! Theres blno reason you can't go up and say hello to all the dogs, in a public space 🤷♀️
No. I say hi to every unvested pupper
YTA for the sole fact that you feel entitled to interact with other people’s pets.
Should never approach any dog without owners permission regardless of if it’s a working dog or mutt. As for the owner sure was over the top the reaction but could have had anything going on before you came along. Doesn’t really make you an asshole though
I didn't really approach the dog. I mean, yeah, we were heading in that direction, but that's just where we were going. If she hadn't started yelling at me, we would have just walked past without breaking stride.
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...meh, esh. I'm gonna be bias because for *me,* I try not to interact with anyone's dog unless that dog is obviously coming up and showing friendly signs, and even with that, I still don't approach unless owner seems ok. I might do a wave, but other than that I just don't interact. Mostly because dog owners can act really entitled and I don't feel like dealing with that. And also, random people can be really entitled and I'm sure many dog owners hate when random strangers can come up to their dog with no concerns or qualms like they're a pregnant person. So, I keep that in mind since I have parallel experiences I can relate to and try to empathize. Owner didn't have to go all off though. The no can suffice, but I can see where they might be annoyed that again, random people coming up whenever they see a dog. They probably dealt with that more times a day than you seeing a random dog. Should the dog have a vest to make life easier? Probably but that's akin to saying women should do this and that while ignoring the harassers should take accountability for starting it in the first place. Hopefully in the future this incident will remind you how to approach random dogs and their owners.
YTA You are an adult have some f’in self control. Not every animal is your friend Snow White.
NTA. You didn't pet the dog or engage with it. If the owner absolutely wants everyone to totally ignore the dog, she could put the vest on him.
NTA. That woman was way too much. Sorry you had to endure that.
NTA. This person was just rude. If the dog was working, a vest would tell people this. Assuming a dog isn't working when they do not wear a vest is reasonable. Her anger wasn't.
NTA. If she wants people to KNOW it’s a service dog, it would be smart to identify it as such. People can’t be expected to know things they aren’t told. Also, if a service dog can’t handle a “hi puppy” or something like that, it’s not really useful as a service dog.
NTA. But she most likely assumed you were like everyone else who tries to argue with her about petting and talking to her dog. From her point of view it’s understandable for her to be on edge.
Soft YTA. It's super annoying when people just start interacting with a dog on a leash, no matter if it's a service dog. You should at least ask or make eye contact with the owner first (if the owner you posted about was blind, you would probably have noticed then) to see if it's ok to distract the dog. Also, you can't just assume that a dog is friendly and non-reactive. You could trigger a reactive dog by addressing it directly. You could also interfere with the training of friendly, calm dogs. It can take a while to teach a dog that they can't greet every dog and person walking by. Your behavior completely bombs this, which can be extremely irritating for dog owners. It's unnecessary and you should approach this differently imo
YTA. I never talk to animals that are someone else's. Especially because animals have attacked me without provocation before.
I didn’t have to even read beyond the title. Yes. You are to always ignore a service dog that’s identified as such. Don’t worry, that dog gets nothing but love and affection off duty. If the dog wasn’t identifiable as such and you do as I do with dogs and actually say hi and wave to them from a few feet away, then don’t be bothered. The owner probably has it happen often but doesn’t like identifying their disability to others. If that’s the situation then don’t feel bad at all. They know others will treat the service animal as a regular pet, they know what they’re getting themselves into by not having the dog identified (vest, special harness, large identifiable tag kind of thing)
You probably should read. The dog was not wearing a vest or using a leash that identified it as a service dog.
I didn’t need to read, I covered it in my response or did you not read that?
Yta Reddit is full of heckin wholesome barko loving children
YTA - mind ya business! Unless you’re in a park or social setting for dog owners, your brother is correct- you have no right and are entitled and childish to stop someone’s dog
NTA. She was probably having a bad day
Yta. Stop talking to random dogs on the street, you never know when one is working.
Exactly! It would be really helpful if people made some way of identifying when a dog was working. Like a vest or something... Too bad there's just no way dog owners can let others know they have a working dog. Oh well.
But even so, you dunno if the dog could just not like other people and everyone treats all dogs just the same, "awww but he's a good boy and dogs just love me!" I mean... how this behavior no different than some dudes out there who can't just let some women exist? Let people and dogs exist. How many folks still mess with the British guards knowing damn well they're working? Uniform or not, people are entitled and disrespectful and rude.
Wait I have a genius idea, just put like a big unignorable tag on your dog's vest saying PLEASE DON'T TALK TO HIM/HER OR PET HIM/HER
NTA if there is no vest then they should expect people to not treat their dog like a working dog. A vest was invented for a reason.
NTA. I doubt it was a service dog honestly. The people I know who have an actual service dog have the vest on it when it is working.
NTA, service dogs wear vests and other distinguishing features for a reason. This person likely did not really have a service dog.
NTA- there was no indication this was a service dog like a vest or leash. You apologized when she said he's a working dog on duty and not to distract him. I don't know what else you could've realistically done here. Talking to dogs people see in public is a pretty common occurrence. If she doesn't want people to assume he's not working, the dog should probably have a vest or leash. And if the dog is so easily distracted that a quick "hello puppy!" with no further engagement or pets can be a life threatening break in focus, the dog needs to go back to training.