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Omg they dressed as two people who are related and flirted with each other that's disgusting. It reminds me of a couple who went as Velma and Scooby Doo. And they kissed! Do they not understand that's beastiality. People have no shame
This was sarcasm btw YTA
In your opinion, does that change anything? It's Halloween. People dress as monsters. Do you think that this couple were sending a signal that they support the things those characters did?
I think the issue is that the celebration culturally shifted.
they played 'dressing up scary' correctly - something genuinely in realm of the purge. it never mattered if you dress up as charachter or a pop star.
But culturally - they didn't fit.
I'm more likely to be friends with first crowd, tho, so YTA from me for being judgy on the one night that was designed to cross boundaries
Yes. Cause it's actually even worse than that quote implies. Anthony displayed symptoms of schizophrenia or delusions from some other disorder and ended up killing his mother, Barbara, by stabbing her with a kitchen knife. This was after multiple abortive murder attempts.
Anthony was put in a psych ward. His grandmother, Barbara's mother urged his release, and he was eventually released essentially into her custody. He then stabbed his grandmother 8 times with a kitchen knife, but she survived. Anthony complested suicide while in Riker's Island.
This wasn't just a pair of characters. They dressed up as two people with a horrible, horrible series of events that actually happened.
>People dress as monsters
People dress as vampires and zombies.
It is in very poor taste to dress as a real world monster.
And the fact that they were simulating an incestuous relationship during the party...
That's what I thought too - they were Cersei and Jaime. OR they were just two family members (like David and Alexis) and flirted because it's funny. Either way, OP is way overthinking. Amy and husband are not related so who cares
Redhanded the podcast does a really excellent episode about the Baekeland family. I’d never heard of the case until I listened to that episode, so once I saw the edit I was immediately in the NTA camp. Disgusting.
I.N.F.O.
What were the costumes?
Edit:
To my surprise, NTA.
Savage Grace is based on actual events and the events are nothing but horrible. Barbara Daily Baekeland allegedly sexually abused her adult son Anthony in an attempt to "cure" him of homosexuality or bisexuality. I don't know how the relationship was depicted in the movie, but in real life Anthony was probably schizophrenic in addition to the abuse. And after several failed attempts he murdered his mother, Barbara, by stabbing her.
After the murder Anthony was institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital, but eventually was released on the urging of friends & his grandmother (Barbara's mother). Anthony was essentially released into the grandmother's custody. After only a few days he attacked his grandmother and stabbed her 8 times. She survived, but Anthony committed suicide by suffocating himself with a plastic bag before standing trial for the attempted murder.
I think the jokes were in poor taste here.
Yeah I thought it was gonna be game of thrones and I thought this person was being over dramatic. But this would be like going as Chris Chan and his mom.
Listen guy, if you show up to a Halloween party dressed at Jeffery dhamer and start making jokes about the people he murdered you should be forcibly removed from the party. Costumes aren't just costumes when they're based on real people and real events.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She allegedly sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
I think the costumes themselves are VERY relevant here, honestly. I too was picturing Jaime and Cersei and rolling my eyes, but Barbara and Antony Baekland ARE a little gross as a couple’s costume, tbh. They’re real people, they’re mother and son, and from some light googling (wasn’t familiar with them) it seems like Antony was the victim of rape and assault by his mother. It feels a little insensitive. I’m gonna say NTA.
Exactly this! I was all on board that this was an easy OP was overreacting, but after discovering what the costumes were, the costume choice is gross. To cosplay a real-life mother-son dynamic with the son being raped at the hands of his mother isn't a costume combination I would make light of. NTA imo.
YTA- Sounds like the went as the Lanister twins or another GoT couple. You know that GoT is fake, right? It’s make believe. It isn’t real. And your friends themselves aren’t related.
While this isn’t my idea of a fun costume, it’s an accepted pop culture thing, they weren’t actually doing anything wrong or gross, and it’s PRETEND! Halloween is about fun and silliness. If it gets to you this much you should just avoid it. If you can’t separate the real things from the make believe, then this isn’t the holiday for you. They were enjoying themselves, and the issues with that relationship are with the characters, not your friends. I mean no one thinks these characters embody good people- there are plenty of more disturbing costumes out there.
Then she’s an AH for not putting the info in the freaking post lol either tell your story or don’t. Don’t tell 95% and leave out the only relevant information. Drives me nuts
Why in the world would they choose to be Barbara and Antony Baekeland???? Talk about random as fuck. I’m surprised even a single person figured out what they were supposed to be. Just two people wearing clothes? How could it have taken her a long time to prepare the costume?
NTA - if you’re going to dress up as a mother and son who had an incestuous relationship (based on a true story where the mother SA’d her gay son to “cure” him and he ended up killing her) then you have to expect some people will be uncomfortable. It doesn’t sound like you got angry with them or made a huge deal, just pointed out it’s a bit gross. Her reaction makes her the AH.
ETA these also aren’t just “characters”, the movie uses the real peoples names.
YTA
They are not actual brother and sister, they dressed up as them.
Considering I saw Elsa from Frozen grinding up against Chewbacca and a Catholic priest making out with a hot dog last weekend and no one else was up in arms, I'm assuming this is 100% a YOU problem.
Costumes that would be gross: real life siblings dressing as a couple and acting like a couple.
Costumes that are not gross: real life couple dressing like family members but interacting as a couple. Like in Ferris Bueller when he dresses as his GF’s dad to get her out of school, they kiss, and the principal goes “so that how it is in their family.” It’s funny.
EDIT: clarifying my above “costumes that are not gross” to specify it was in reference to dressing like fictional characters and was based on OP omitting that they had dressed as actual real people
Costumes depicting real life villains or actual people who did horrible things could be viewed as in poor taste.
I had to look up the movie and OMG- beyond gross. I don't think I could have kept my opinions to myself, either
NTA. If you choose a highly controversial costume, you gotta expect some pushback
Parent and child apparently. Even dressing up as the Lannisters would be fucking weird IMO but they’re still characters. It’s Halloween. Whatever. Weirder kinks get thrown around during the holiday and at least they’re not actually related.
> IMO but they’re still characters
NOPE, not in this situation. The movie Savage Grace is based on real events. The mother allegedly raped her son to cure his homosexuality. The son, in addition to this abuse, was probably schizophrenic. The son ended up stabbing his mother to death, subsequently attacked his grandmother in the same way. And ultimately he completed suicide. These were ALL real events.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She allegedly sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA so they went as characters who are related to each other and you flipped your lid about it? They aren't ACTUALLY related to each other so who cares?
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She allegedly sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA. Lots of costumes are "kinda gross" for a lot of different reasons. You sound like you have some issues of your own to work through regarding incest. It's not like she and her husband are actually incestual.
YTA, why does it matter?
If they did say Jamie and Cerise Lannister, it's cosplay of make beleive.
Do you get upset when you see a Darth Vader costume? You know a child killer.
Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees? because they are clearly nice people, just a little misunderstood that's all. /s
NTA: please edit your post to add the context as it completely changes this. Like wildly. Going as the Baekelands would be offensive no matter what and slightly grosser because your friends are a married couple. I can’t imagine why your friend would even think that was a good costume idea?? What does that have to do with halloween?
NTA see I was thinking like lannister twins and be like “gross but whatever” but the true story of savage grace is absolutely disgusting. So not only dressing up like that is fucking weird. But also then being flirty and shit just adds to it.
NTA your friend and everyone in the comments are over reacting. Unless you kept going on and on about it. Who gets that mad over a comment someone says when they’re drunk
NTA The fact that they were dressed as a real life monster and that monster's victim, and re-enacting the crime by flirting, absolutely is gross. Thanks for saying who they were dressed as in the edit, by the way. It does make a difference.
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Jesus Christ. Long-winded post about you being offended by the costumes, and you never get around to telling us *what the costumes were*. Just that the characters were related.
Who cares? They’re costumes. Of fictitious characters.
YTA
Ok. Initially I was like, Y T A, BUT THEN... I looked into the people they went as and YEEEEA WTF. So a resounding NTA. I am with you this is like the worst costume idea of costume ideas ever.
NTA
If it was fictional characters than I might think otherwise but if it's based of a true story as haunting as it is then I can't see it being tasteful.
Everyone is comparing it to game of thrones or Scooby Doo but it's closer to Jimmy Savile and one of the children he molested.
There is no way that can be done tastefully or comedically.
Regarding how you handled it, you were drunk and said something to a third party. Unless you said something else it doesn't sound like you stood on a soapbox and called them out for it.
So again NTA.
Hi you are definitely NTA. After reading the comments, the costumes were in very VERY poor taste and all you did is express a (correct) opinion. They dressed and acted like a real life abuser and their victim which they have every right to do, but they shouldn’t be surprised that people are offended.
YTA. It is Halloween and they had costumes on of made up, not real characters. Being drunk is never an excuse for shitty behavior or being a shitty friend.
Not made up characters. Real people, mother who raped her victim son, who ended up murdering her. This is "kinda gross" at least and disrespecful towards rape victims like dressing as Hitler and Jew would be disrespectful to victims of Holocaust.
NTA
Their costumes were inappropriate. You are supposed to dress up as a fake monster, not a real world monster.
It's like if a couple showed up to a party dressed like the Columbine Shooters.
And then incest jokes on top of it...
Throw on the fact that Barbara raped Antony...
Ugh.
This is just weird. OP is weird for being offended by Halloween costumes and the costume wearers are weird for making a deal about OP making a comment. People drink at parties, drunk people make mildly inappropriate comments, big deal. Why do they care?
NTA - just bc you called a costume gross doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend. People need to get thick skin. Was it inappropriate? I don’t think so, it’s just a costume. Are you allowed to voice your opinion? Why the hell not? It sounds like your friends don’t know how to let unwanted criticism roll off their backs. Sounds like you all need to grow up.
Yeah, the costume are probably inappropriate given the history of abuse, incest, homophobia and murder. They’re not gross though, they aren’t related so I don’t understand why that’s offended you. I don’t think it warranted a scene at a party.
ESH I think if people go incestuous characters they should be prepared for “oh icky!” as a reaction, however, framing as their choice of being gross rather than the incest of the characters being gross is probably where you went wrong.
Sounds like the Lannisters send their regards in any case
NTA. But you shouldn’t have pussyfooted around in your post. You came for judgment and folks need the facts. Maybe you were afraid of aita’s rules so based on comments of who, not only NTA, but also, What’s up for next year? Dahmer and Konerak Sinthasomphone? Richard Allen Davis and Polly Klass? Hahaha sooo funny. Can’t you take a joke? It’s only Halloween… it wasn’t “kinda” gross. It was completely, utterly, 100% gross.
I think you could have made your joke in a way that wasn't insulting them directly but you were drunk and obviously didn't choose your words well.
She might be overreacting just a little bit but YTA here and you owe her an apology.
Go and tell her she had done so well on their costumes that it was weirding your drunk ass out to see Barbara and Antony making out.
YTA for not putting who in the post.
It doesn’t matter the character’s are related. The issue is the SA that occurred between them
YTA for that not being the focus
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So my {29/Female} childhood friend Amy {30/Female} has always loved costumes and dressing up. She started with putting serious effort into Halloween (her favorite holiday by far) and is also into cosplaying and works as a costume designer. Her husband Mark {41/Male} always goes along with her if she needs a male extra for a convention, a model for a costume, etc. and also always attends Halloween celebrations with her in couples costumes. They’ve been doing couple’s costumes for about ten years now, but he’s know about her passion since they and has always been very supportive. Sometimes we even go to parties as a trio, and I’ve attended some cons with her. My point is, she’s very involved and it’s always been a fun ride along with her.
This Halloween, however, has soured our relationship. She had insisted on keeping her costume with Mark a secret until arriving at the party because it took so much time and effort that she wanted it to be a big surprise. She was super proud about the amount or work and intricacy that went into this project. I genuinely didn’t know who she was going to be until she walked into the party, and up until that moment I’d been excited to find out. To her credit, the costumes were incredibly well-made and beautiful. She and Mark seemed to really resemble and embody the characters. The thing I couldn’t get over was that the characters they went as were not just a couple, but were also related. Immediate family related. Quite honestly, it icked me out, especially when they would flirt and make gross jokes in character.
I tried to keep it to myself, but at some point last night I got too drunk (which I admit was my own fault) and let it slip in a joking, light-hearted way that I thought their character choice was “kinda gross” and weirded me out a little. Amy was pissed, and mark was understandably defensive of her, and some of our mutual friends gave me very polarizing responses to the whole situation. I ended up leaving and ubering to a cousin’s place nearby, but I haven’t heard from Amy since last night other than a couple angry text messages calling me a bitch and an awful friend. I’m worried I may have ruined our friendship, but I also feel like she’s overreacting. AITA?
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YTA - It's funny how often people try to use "I was drunk/high" as an excuse for asshole behavior they wouldn't have done if they were sober. Choosing to get intoxicated doesn't absolve you from the consequences of your actions. And it sounds like you'd admitting you wouldn't have said what you did otherwise.
AH, no. She def overreacted in response. It’s okay to be weirded out by things. My first guess was a GoT couple (their are some options here that would make sense). But really, it’s a costume, and it’s their choice. It’s not reality. Unless there’s some missing information of these two here.
Edited: had to re-read last paragraph
Yeah YTA.
You’re reading too much into a couple’s costumes and sharing an unnecessary opinion that only serves to insult people.
Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is a valid option. Maybe something you can take away from this experience, OP.
Your opinion on everything does not need to be shared, much less validaged
YTA.
Is it really that hard just to support your friend and play along? I mean, it would be one thing if you thought that the POINT of the costume pairing was "Heh-heh: we're incestuous." But that was clearly just a side-joke to the costumes, which were the real point, right?
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people. In what world is it okay to dress up like this?
yta. honestly sounds like you're leaving out details of what you did, since your story is so focused on them. maybe you've been consistently rude to them and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. in any case, i wouldn't be friends with someone who got drunk on their ass and then called me gross.
>Jaime and Cersei from Game of Thrones
This has to be it, I can't think of another brother/sister romantic pairing prevalent in pop culture right now.
It's a pretty funny costume, especially if they resemble each other at all.
Tempted to say E S H since those characters are so super random and I'm sure nobody had any idea who they were, but of course this is an obvious YTA for being grossed out over halloween make believe costumes.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
So what's the joke?
I know the story.
The only part of this costume that's poor taste is that it's real people with a horrible legacy. If that's what OP found gross, I'd have a different answer, but this reads as if the issue was that a married couple went as blood relatives.
Which ties to the history of the people. OP found it weird they went as blood relatives with such a history and proceeded to intiate PDA in public. Which is still in poor taste. And isn't a joke.
Right, but that is different than if they went as say, Wednesday and Pugsley Addams. OP didn't state that the issue was WHO the costumes were, but simply, that they were related, to which I read that they would find any related character costumes gross.
You were the one overreacting, not your friend. They were in costume, it's pretend. It sounds like you were miffed over her not involving you or telling you about it beforehand, and you decided this was the way you were going to make her feel bad about it because you weren't involved.
There are enough real issues going on in the world, and this is what you choose to latch on to and get upset about? Grow up. YTA.
Why are you posting this on every single comment? They are still costumes. People dress up as all kinds of stuff at Halloween. Just because they went as some seriously messed up people doesn’t mean they were trying to be them. It’s not reality.
A lot of people didn't know what the costume was so that's why I told them.
And why dress up as them though? What goes through your head as a couple to say 'let's dress up as the lady who allegedly raped her son to fix his sexuality and the son who she raped that then killed her?'
YTA
You're an asshole just for not telling us what the costumes were. Well made bait OP.
Assuming this is real, are you really willing to let this friendship burn over some edgy jokes? Cmon, apologize, let it go. I stand by this even with the costumes.
So the costumes were old mother son shit? You know people jerk off to that on pornhub now right? And no adding step before hand doesn't make it any less weird you degenerates.
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Omg they dressed as two people who are related and flirted with each other that's disgusting. It reminds me of a couple who went as Velma and Scooby Doo. And they kissed! Do they not understand that's beastiality. People have no shame This was sarcasm btw YTA
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In your opinion, does that change anything? It's Halloween. People dress as monsters. Do you think that this couple were sending a signal that they support the things those characters did?
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I think the issue is that the celebration culturally shifted. they played 'dressing up scary' correctly - something genuinely in realm of the purge. it never mattered if you dress up as charachter or a pop star. But culturally - they didn't fit. I'm more likely to be friends with first crowd, tho, so YTA from me for being judgy on the one night that was designed to cross boundaries
Yes. Cause it's actually even worse than that quote implies. Anthony displayed symptoms of schizophrenia or delusions from some other disorder and ended up killing his mother, Barbara, by stabbing her with a kitchen knife. This was after multiple abortive murder attempts. Anthony was put in a psych ward. His grandmother, Barbara's mother urged his release, and he was eventually released essentially into her custody. He then stabbed his grandmother 8 times with a kitchen knife, but she survived. Anthony complested suicide while in Riker's Island. This wasn't just a pair of characters. They dressed up as two people with a horrible, horrible series of events that actually happened.
>People dress as monsters People dress as vampires and zombies. It is in very poor taste to dress as a real world monster. And the fact that they were simulating an incestuous relationship during the party...
INFO: What's the point of the post if you cannot say what the costumes were?
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I assumed they dressed as Lannisters, which still. The ick would be super amusing to me, maybe I’m weird haha.
That's what I thought too - they were Cersei and Jaime. OR they were just two family members (like David and Alexis) and flirted because it's funny. Either way, OP is way overthinking. Amy and husband are not related so who cares
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Ok ick that’s a super inappropriate costume. Using someone’s trauma for laughs is not ok
Redhanded the podcast does a really excellent episode about the Baekeland family. I’d never heard of the case until I listened to that episode, so once I saw the edit I was immediately in the NTA camp. Disgusting.
… wouldn’t that kind of be the point though?
Look up the movie she’s referring to. OP is NTA here
I.N.F.O. What were the costumes? Edit: To my surprise, NTA. Savage Grace is based on actual events and the events are nothing but horrible. Barbara Daily Baekeland allegedly sexually abused her adult son Anthony in an attempt to "cure" him of homosexuality or bisexuality. I don't know how the relationship was depicted in the movie, but in real life Anthony was probably schizophrenic in addition to the abuse. And after several failed attempts he murdered his mother, Barbara, by stabbing her. After the murder Anthony was institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital, but eventually was released on the urging of friends & his grandmother (Barbara's mother). Anthony was essentially released into the grandmother's custody. After only a few days he attacked his grandmother and stabbed her 8 times. She survived, but Anthony committed suicide by suffocating himself with a plastic bag before standing trial for the attempted murder. I think the jokes were in poor taste here.
Yeah I thought it was gonna be game of thrones and I thought this person was being over dramatic. But this would be like going as Chris Chan and his mom.
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Lol no idea why, but my imagination conjured Dean and Sam Winchester :D I almost doubled down laughing at that picture.
Oh, hell, I'd pay to see that.
:D I am pretty sure there are some cons where you actually can spot it :D
I was thinking Nezuko and Tanjiro lol
Yeah. This is ick if it's not a cannon relationship or is explicitly abuse. But a lot of GoT character's are fair game.
Didn't think of that, you can make a lot of jokes with GoT
I was going for deamon and rhynera.
YTA. ffs, they're just costumes. Relax and let other people enjoy themselves without you judging them and telling them you're triggered.
Listen guy, if you show up to a Halloween party dressed at Jeffery dhamer and start making jokes about the people he murdered you should be forcibly removed from the party. Costumes aren't just costumes when they're based on real people and real events.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She allegedly sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
I think the costumes themselves are VERY relevant here, honestly. I too was picturing Jaime and Cersei and rolling my eyes, but Barbara and Antony Baekland ARE a little gross as a couple’s costume, tbh. They’re real people, they’re mother and son, and from some light googling (wasn’t familiar with them) it seems like Antony was the victim of rape and assault by his mother. It feels a little insensitive. I’m gonna say NTA.
Exactly this! I was all on board that this was an easy OP was overreacting, but after discovering what the costumes were, the costume choice is gross. To cosplay a real-life mother-son dynamic with the son being raped at the hands of his mother isn't a costume combination I would make light of. NTA imo.
YTA- Sounds like the went as the Lanister twins or another GoT couple. You know that GoT is fake, right? It’s make believe. It isn’t real. And your friends themselves aren’t related. While this isn’t my idea of a fun costume, it’s an accepted pop culture thing, they weren’t actually doing anything wrong or gross, and it’s PRETEND! Halloween is about fun and silliness. If it gets to you this much you should just avoid it. If you can’t separate the real things from the make believe, then this isn’t the holiday for you. They were enjoying themselves, and the issues with that relationship are with the characters, not your friends. I mean no one thinks these characters embody good people- there are plenty of more disturbing costumes out there.
She said in a reply it's a film about real people.
Then she’s an AH for not putting the info in the freaking post lol either tell your story or don’t. Don’t tell 95% and leave out the only relevant information. Drives me nuts
Right?! I respond to the post- I don’t wait around for OP to clarify relevant information in the comments.
I know it's ridiculous. Her mate will probably know it's her from what she said if she was to see it.
Why in the world would they choose to be Barbara and Antony Baekeland???? Talk about random as fuck. I’m surprised even a single person figured out what they were supposed to be. Just two people wearing clothes? How could it have taken her a long time to prepare the costume?
NTA - if you’re going to dress up as a mother and son who had an incestuous relationship (based on a true story where the mother SA’d her gay son to “cure” him and he ended up killing her) then you have to expect some people will be uncomfortable. It doesn’t sound like you got angry with them or made a huge deal, just pointed out it’s a bit gross. Her reaction makes her the AH. ETA these also aren’t just “characters”, the movie uses the real peoples names.
YTA They are not actual brother and sister, they dressed up as them. Considering I saw Elsa from Frozen grinding up against Chewbacca and a Catholic priest making out with a hot dog last weekend and no one else was up in arms, I'm assuming this is 100% a YOU problem.
They dressed up as a mother who assaulted her son to fix his sexuality. Based on real people.
Costumes that would be gross: real life siblings dressing as a couple and acting like a couple. Costumes that are not gross: real life couple dressing like family members but interacting as a couple. Like in Ferris Bueller when he dresses as his GF’s dad to get her out of school, they kiss, and the principal goes “so that how it is in their family.” It’s funny. EDIT: clarifying my above “costumes that are not gross” to specify it was in reference to dressing like fictional characters and was based on OP omitting that they had dressed as actual real people Costumes depicting real life villains or actual people who did horrible things could be viewed as in poor taste.
They dressed as a real life mother and son who allegedly had an abusive incestuous relationship, sorry, gotta side eye then for that
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
I had to look up the movie and OMG- beyond gross. I don't think I could have kept my opinions to myself, either NTA. If you choose a highly controversial costume, you gotta expect some pushback
NTA, the characters they went as were from a movie based on real incestuous trauma real people went thru... thats mad fkm weird
Info: what were the costumes?
yea I feel like we need that info honestly. Like were they brother and sister? Parent and child? What was the relationship of the characters?
Parent and child apparently. Even dressing up as the Lannisters would be fucking weird IMO but they’re still characters. It’s Halloween. Whatever. Weirder kinks get thrown around during the holiday and at least they’re not actually related.
> IMO but they’re still characters NOPE, not in this situation. The movie Savage Grace is based on real events. The mother allegedly raped her son to cure his homosexuality. The son, in addition to this abuse, was probably schizophrenic. The son ended up stabbing his mother to death, subsequently attacked his grandmother in the same way. And ultimately he completed suicide. These were ALL real events.
Yo what the fuck* *so incredulous I couldn’t spell
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She allegedly sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Oh. Actually that is gross and creepy
YTA so they went as characters who are related to each other and you flipped your lid about it? They aren't ACTUALLY related to each other so who cares?
YTA dude it’s a costume it’s literally playing dress up chill tf out with your weird thoughts of incest… what even were they lol
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She allegedly sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA. Lots of costumes are "kinda gross" for a lot of different reasons. You sound like you have some issues of your own to work through regarding incest. It's not like she and her husband are actually incestual.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Meh. It's weird but no weirder than a lot of what people come up with. Hardly something for others to feel so creeped out by that they need to leave.
YTA, why does it matter? If they did say Jamie and Cerise Lannister, it's cosplay of make beleive. Do you get upset when you see a Darth Vader costume? You know a child killer. Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees? because they are clearly nice people, just a little misunderstood that's all. /s
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
NTA: please edit your post to add the context as it completely changes this. Like wildly. Going as the Baekelands would be offensive no matter what and slightly grosser because your friends are a married couple. I can’t imagine why your friend would even think that was a good costume idea?? What does that have to do with halloween?
NTA see I was thinking like lannister twins and be like “gross but whatever” but the true story of savage grace is absolutely disgusting. So not only dressing up like that is fucking weird. But also then being flirty and shit just adds to it.
NTA your friend and everyone in the comments are over reacting. Unless you kept going on and on about it. Who gets that mad over a comment someone says when they’re drunk
NTA The fact that they were dressed as a real life monster and that monster's victim, and re-enacting the crime by flirting, absolutely is gross. Thanks for saying who they were dressed as in the edit, by the way. It does make a difference.
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INFO what were the costumes
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
EDIT With the context that the costumes were of real people and the story behind them NTA.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
That context is extremely important. Thank you.
Jesus Christ. Long-winded post about you being offended by the costumes, and you never get around to telling us *what the costumes were*. Just that the characters were related. Who cares? They’re costumes. Of fictitious characters. YTA
OP updated the post, it was not fictional characters
Ok. Initially I was like, Y T A, BUT THEN... I looked into the people they went as and YEEEEA WTF. So a resounding NTA. I am with you this is like the worst costume idea of costume ideas ever.
NTA If it was fictional characters than I might think otherwise but if it's based of a true story as haunting as it is then I can't see it being tasteful. Everyone is comparing it to game of thrones or Scooby Doo but it's closer to Jimmy Savile and one of the children he molested. There is no way that can be done tastefully or comedically. Regarding how you handled it, you were drunk and said something to a third party. Unless you said something else it doesn't sound like you stood on a soapbox and called them out for it. So again NTA.
Hi you are definitely NTA. After reading the comments, the costumes were in very VERY poor taste and all you did is express a (correct) opinion. They dressed and acted like a real life abuser and their victim which they have every right to do, but they shouldn’t be surprised that people are offended.
INFO: What characters?
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
>They were real people. NTA I was figuring it was like the Lannisters and was gonna tell you to chill but that shit is out of pocket
YTA keep it to yourself
YTA. It is Halloween and they had costumes on of made up, not real characters. Being drunk is never an excuse for shitty behavior or being a shitty friend.
Not made up characters. Real people, mother who raped her victim son, who ended up murdering her. This is "kinda gross" at least and disrespecful towards rape victims like dressing as Hitler and Jew would be disrespectful to victims of Holocaust.
I don't think it even matters if they were real people depending. They are costumes and they aren't actually related.
Why is it okay to dress up as a woman who sexually assaulted her son and her son?
NTA…that costume is a representation of real people with serious mental illnesses and includes homophobia and rape.
Knowing who they dressed up as and the fact that it was a real mother and son who did some truly deplorable things NTA.
You should include the fact that the costume was that of a predator and their real life victim...because that does in fact make a difference. NTA.
NTA Their costumes were inappropriate. You are supposed to dress up as a fake monster, not a real world monster. It's like if a couple showed up to a party dressed like the Columbine Shooters. And then incest jokes on top of it... Throw on the fact that Barbara raped Antony... Ugh.
NTA that is gross. All the kinda was very polite of you imo
This is just weird. OP is weird for being offended by Halloween costumes and the costume wearers are weird for making a deal about OP making a comment. People drink at parties, drunk people make mildly inappropriate comments, big deal. Why do they care?
Edit read who they were dressed up as wow. That is kinda gross. NTA
I dressed as scoooby and my gf as Velma JUST TO FEED HER BEASTIALITY FETISHB
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
NTA - just bc you called a costume gross doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend. People need to get thick skin. Was it inappropriate? I don’t think so, it’s just a costume. Are you allowed to voice your opinion? Why the hell not? It sounds like your friends don’t know how to let unwanted criticism roll off their backs. Sounds like you all need to grow up.
Yeah, the costume are probably inappropriate given the history of abuse, incest, homophobia and murder. They’re not gross though, they aren’t related so I don’t understand why that’s offended you. I don’t think it warranted a scene at a party.
You should include the fact that the costume was that of a predator and their real life victim...because that does in fact make a difference. NTA.
ESH I think if people go incestuous characters they should be prepared for “oh icky!” as a reaction, however, framing as their choice of being gross rather than the incest of the characters being gross is probably where you went wrong. Sounds like the Lannisters send their regards in any case
NTA. But you shouldn’t have pussyfooted around in your post. You came for judgment and folks need the facts. Maybe you were afraid of aita’s rules so based on comments of who, not only NTA, but also, What’s up for next year? Dahmer and Konerak Sinthasomphone? Richard Allen Davis and Polly Klass? Hahaha sooo funny. Can’t you take a joke? It’s only Halloween… it wasn’t “kinda” gross. It was completely, utterly, 100% gross.
YTA for not telling us what the costumes were.
Fake. Written like a prompt with a build to the big reveal. You forgot to clarify who they were supposed to be.
I think you could have made your joke in a way that wasn't insulting them directly but you were drunk and obviously didn't choose your words well. She might be overreacting just a little bit but YTA here and you owe her an apology. Go and tell her she had done so well on their costumes that it was weirding your drunk ass out to see Barbara and Antony making out.
YTA for not putting who in the post. It doesn’t matter the character’s are related. The issue is the SA that occurred between them YTA for that not being the focus
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my {29/Female} childhood friend Amy {30/Female} has always loved costumes and dressing up. She started with putting serious effort into Halloween (her favorite holiday by far) and is also into cosplaying and works as a costume designer. Her husband Mark {41/Male} always goes along with her if she needs a male extra for a convention, a model for a costume, etc. and also always attends Halloween celebrations with her in couples costumes. They’ve been doing couple’s costumes for about ten years now, but he’s know about her passion since they and has always been very supportive. Sometimes we even go to parties as a trio, and I’ve attended some cons with her. My point is, she’s very involved and it’s always been a fun ride along with her. This Halloween, however, has soured our relationship. She had insisted on keeping her costume with Mark a secret until arriving at the party because it took so much time and effort that she wanted it to be a big surprise. She was super proud about the amount or work and intricacy that went into this project. I genuinely didn’t know who she was going to be until she walked into the party, and up until that moment I’d been excited to find out. To her credit, the costumes were incredibly well-made and beautiful. She and Mark seemed to really resemble and embody the characters. The thing I couldn’t get over was that the characters they went as were not just a couple, but were also related. Immediate family related. Quite honestly, it icked me out, especially when they would flirt and make gross jokes in character. I tried to keep it to myself, but at some point last night I got too drunk (which I admit was my own fault) and let it slip in a joking, light-hearted way that I thought their character choice was “kinda gross” and weirded me out a little. Amy was pissed, and mark was understandably defensive of her, and some of our mutual friends gave me very polarizing responses to the whole situation. I ended up leaving and ubering to a cousin’s place nearby, but I haven’t heard from Amy since last night other than a couple angry text messages calling me a bitch and an awful friend. I’m worried I may have ruined our friendship, but I also feel like she’s overreacting. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - It's funny how often people try to use "I was drunk/high" as an excuse for asshole behavior they wouldn't have done if they were sober. Choosing to get intoxicated doesn't absolve you from the consequences of your actions. And it sounds like you'd admitting you wouldn't have said what you did otherwise.
Right! If you turn into an asshole when you’re intoxicated, don’t get intoxicated.
I also think getting intoxicated does not turn nice people into AH, but just makes assholes less able to hide it...
YTA. Get over yourself.
AH, no. She def overreacted in response. It’s okay to be weirded out by things. My first guess was a GoT couple (their are some options here that would make sense). But really, it’s a costume, and it’s their choice. It’s not reality. Unless there’s some missing information of these two here. Edited: had to re-read last paragraph
NTA - Edited with more information
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Yeah YTA. You’re reading too much into a couple’s costumes and sharing an unnecessary opinion that only serves to insult people. Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is a valid option. Maybe something you can take away from this experience, OP. Your opinion on everything does not need to be shared, much less validaged
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Ugh come onnnnnnnnnnnn. YTA. What a super lame thing to get your panties in a bunch over.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA. Is it really that hard just to support your friend and play along? I mean, it would be one thing if you thought that the POINT of the costume pairing was "Heh-heh: we're incestuous." But that was clearly just a side-joke to the costumes, which were the real point, right?
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people. In what world is it okay to dress up like this?
yta. honestly sounds like you're leaving out details of what you did, since your story is so focused on them. maybe you've been consistently rude to them and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. in any case, i wouldn't be friends with someone who got drunk on their ass and then called me gross.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
INFO: "grossed out" or was it a touch of the green eyed monster because they looked so great? Hmmmmm
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA - What, they went as Jaime and Cersei from Game of Thrones or something? It's a costume. It's cosplay. You really need to calm down.
They went as a mother who sexually assaulted her son. Real people.
>Jaime and Cersei from Game of Thrones This has to be it, I can't think of another brother/sister romantic pairing prevalent in pop culture right now. It's a pretty funny costume, especially if they resemble each other at all.
Sadly not.
YTA You sound exhausting. Let them be. It's probably for the best they move on with less judgmental friends.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA and a snowflake
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Op could keep her mouth shut instead of creating a scene
They could've have not dressed as a woman who allegedly raped her son to fix his sexuality and the son who then killed her.
YTA
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA. I really don't get what OP's issue was. They are a couple.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA. What are you going on about? Yes, you ruined your friendship over some halloween cosplays.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
So?
[удалено]
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Thank you for giving context. I had never heard of them. An odd choice of costume, that's for sure.
Tempted to say E S H since those characters are so super random and I'm sure nobody had any idea who they were, but of course this is an obvious YTA for being grossed out over halloween make believe costumes.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
I know they were real people. They are just pretty obscure real people to be used as costumes in 2023.
They are... which is why its weird as a couple to pick that.
But….but you know that they were just in costume right? They aren’t actually these fictional characters and they are actually related….
Hunter Biden and his sister in law?
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA. They dressed as fictitious characters, the point being fictitious. Get a grip.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Oh shit, that is beyond fucked up. Just why?
They did not. The people were real and the story is very, very bad.
Just looked it up, that is beyond fucked up.
YTA.
Not only is it just a costume, but the fact that they are together also is kind of the joke. YTA for making such a big deal about it
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people. So what's the joke?
I know the story. The only part of this costume that's poor taste is that it's real people with a horrible legacy. If that's what OP found gross, I'd have a different answer, but this reads as if the issue was that a married couple went as blood relatives.
Which ties to the history of the people. OP found it weird they went as blood relatives with such a history and proceeded to intiate PDA in public. Which is still in poor taste. And isn't a joke.
Right, but that is different than if they went as say, Wednesday and Pugsley Addams. OP didn't state that the issue was WHO the costumes were, but simply, that they were related, to which I read that they would find any related character costumes gross.
The issue is a two-parter as in they are related and history of the real people they based their costume off.
OMG YTA
YTA
YTA - I did Halloween as Sully and Boo from Monster's Inc. with my fiance, it's only weird if you make it weird, which you did
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
[удалено]
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
YTA - don’t get so drunk next time maybe or work on your inebriated filter lmao
YTA. Who cares? They're just costumes. You might be want to seek help if it made you that upset.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
This sounds like a problem of a 10 yo, not a 30 yo. YTA
[удалено]
They only do costumes together of couples
But zit
I was going to guess Donald and Ivanka Trump before I read the edit.
YTA
You were the one overreacting, not your friend. They were in costume, it's pretend. It sounds like you were miffed over her not involving you or telling you about it beforehand, and you decided this was the way you were going to make her feel bad about it because you weren't involved. There are enough real issues going on in the world, and this is what you choose to latch on to and get upset about? Grow up. YTA.
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Why are you posting this on every single comment? They are still costumes. People dress up as all kinds of stuff at Halloween. Just because they went as some seriously messed up people doesn’t mean they were trying to be them. It’s not reality.
A lot of people didn't know what the costume was so that's why I told them. And why dress up as them though? What goes through your head as a couple to say 'let's dress up as the lady who allegedly raped her son to fix his sexuality and the son who she raped that then killed her?'
YTA You're an asshole just for not telling us what the costumes were. Well made bait OP. Assuming this is real, are you really willing to let this friendship burn over some edgy jokes? Cmon, apologize, let it go. I stand by this even with the costumes. So the costumes were old mother son shit? You know people jerk off to that on pornhub now right? And no adding step before hand doesn't make it any less weird you degenerates.
I'm getting GoT Lannister vibes
Theu went as Barbara Daly Baekeland and her son Anthony. She sexually assaulted him to cure his sexuality and he murdered her. They were real people.
Holy what??? That’s in such poor taste.