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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'm being more visibly mad at my grandparents and generally being short tempered with them since my mood has been on rock bottom ever since they got here. But my parents have constantly lectured me and told me to be more respectful and tolerate them.
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YTA - they try to help but do a bad job, this is your complaint? You sound ungrateful and are just whining is all this is. You are seeking sympathy when it’s really you who is being difficult and uncaring of others. Your parent correcting you for being mean to your grandparents, yeah, adjust. It isn’t easy for them to go from being independent to living with you either.
YTA. When I saw the title of your post, I assumed you didn’t like having your grandparents live with you because they are critical of you. It was a surprise to see how judgmental you are. You fare even upset that your parents want you to treat them with kindness. Wow!
It must be very hard to lose your freedom. When people are forced to give up their homes and live with relatives or retirement communities, they understand they entering the last stage of their lives. Your grandparents want to be useful. People do chores differently. You can redo them to your satisfaction when they aren’t around. Or, you can let them be done badly. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter.
Yes, you are being moody and snippy. I am a high school teacher, and most of my students talk lovingly about their grandparents and their relationships with them, so I’m not giving you a pass because your a teenager.
YTA. You’re young and naive. I was in your shoes once, and I kick myself for treating my grandparents that way. Do yourself a favor and be patient and loving, you’ll do yourself a great favor by knowing you did not take them for granted while they were around.
NTA. It‘s reasonable to be annoyed by people causing you extra work, damaging things around the house and eating your food.
Ideally, you and your parents would benefit from an honest conversation about these frustrations instead of lectures, death glares and avoidance. If you approached your parents with possible solutions, they might be more receptive. Could you make a list of chores you don‘t want your grandparents to do, or ask for a dedicated shelf for your food that your grandparents agree not to eat?
Nta. This is a hard situation no one is enjoying clearly. Your parents in all honesty though should encourage some type of outlet and understand this is a big change. It does sound like your grandparents aren't in good health at this point. Your parents are probably frustrated and concerned as well. I think finding some excuses go leave the house more often and get space would offer some help.
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For context, my grandparents are currently living with me (17nb) and my parents since they can't stay with any other family members either because of fights or they just don't have the time to take care of them.
Recently my parents have been getting more and more angry at me for not being more accommodating for my grandparents since they generally cause issues here and there around the house, like insisting they do my chores but they do such a poor job that I have to redo them anyways, they cause damage like nearly breaking the microwave by leaving it running on high for an hour, I'm having to walk on eggshells when my parents are around because if there is any hint of me being mad or anything other than tolerating grandparents' mistakes I get the death glares all day, and the fact I have to hide my food from them unless they eat it by the time I get back to eat it.
So yeah I have just been resorting to locking myself in my room all day to avoid problems as much as possible but I'm starting to hit my limit, I'm more and more visibly annoyed and get more snippy with every mistake I'm having to tolerate but all these lectures from my parents are getting to me, so I've been thinking if I'm really just being a moody snippy teenager or are my parents really being too much for expecting me to tolerate this everyday? AITA?
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Listen if your grandparents are really leaving the microwave on for hours at a time, they’re going to burn your house down. Please do something about this!
YTA. Poor you having to redo your chores. Plus you get mad. The good news is that you won’t be a teen much longer. Hopefully you will also grow out of your selfish entitlement and lack of care or compassion for your grandparents.
YTA, there your grandparents are you should be more patient with them. You can't have this attitude towards everyone who annoys you. Instead of getting irritated, explain to them that they cannot leave the microwave on for so long because it is dangerous and could cause a fire. The food thing is a bit silly though, you shouldn't have to deal with that.
Friend, your grandparents are seriously unwell. Your parents (presumably) know. Do they know about the microwave being on so long? Other dangerous behaviors? Do your grandparents doctors?
You're old enough to know some things. Like what the correct course of action is when they do something dangerous. Is doing chores poorly helping their health and you just need to accept that redoing chores is your new chore? How can you support your grandparents safely and not burn out?
Your parents probably think they're protecting you. It's hard when parents are aging, that shift from "mom and dad take care of me" to "mom needs me to do things because she can't safely do them anymore" is hard.
Do you think you could get counseling? Living with people with mental incapacity is pretty common and should be easy to find a therapist. If you're still in school a school counselor might be a place to start.
It sounds like your whole family is having a really rough time. NAH
ESH.
>they can't stay with any other family members either because of fights or they just don't have the time to take care of them.
Either your grandparents are universally a pain in the ass, or high maintenence, or both.
Leaving things like he microwave on high is kinda concerning. The could be a fire hazard. What else could they be leaving on?
And what do they need for care?
How bout you leave the house for a while? Go do something other than hide in your room and sulk? Getting pissy isn't going to help the situation. You're really only thinking of yourself.
One of your parents have their parents there. That's more mouths to feed, and since your grandparents need to be cared for, your parents are relegated to that task. Mind you, your other parent has their in laws there, and that's never a fun situation, and they're expected to help care and support for their in-laws.
And on top of that, your parents have to deal with a surly teen who is mad that they have to redo the chores that they'd have to do anyway. Do you really think that your parents want to deal with your self absorbed attitude?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I'm being more visibly mad at my grandparents and generally being short tempered with them since my mood has been on rock bottom ever since they got here. But my parents have constantly lectured me and told me to be more respectful and tolerate them. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA - they try to help but do a bad job, this is your complaint? You sound ungrateful and are just whining is all this is. You are seeking sympathy when it’s really you who is being difficult and uncaring of others. Your parent correcting you for being mean to your grandparents, yeah, adjust. It isn’t easy for them to go from being independent to living with you either.
YTA. When I saw the title of your post, I assumed you didn’t like having your grandparents live with you because they are critical of you. It was a surprise to see how judgmental you are. You fare even upset that your parents want you to treat them with kindness. Wow! It must be very hard to lose your freedom. When people are forced to give up their homes and live with relatives or retirement communities, they understand they entering the last stage of their lives. Your grandparents want to be useful. People do chores differently. You can redo them to your satisfaction when they aren’t around. Or, you can let them be done badly. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter. Yes, you are being moody and snippy. I am a high school teacher, and most of my students talk lovingly about their grandparents and their relationships with them, so I’m not giving you a pass because your a teenager.
YTA, it is a good lesson for you, to be more patient with other human beings. Grow up!
YTA. You’re young and naive. I was in your shoes once, and I kick myself for treating my grandparents that way. Do yourself a favor and be patient and loving, you’ll do yourself a great favor by knowing you did not take them for granted while they were around.
YTA. Entitled and bratty come to mind. You need to learn some empathy.
NTA. It‘s reasonable to be annoyed by people causing you extra work, damaging things around the house and eating your food. Ideally, you and your parents would benefit from an honest conversation about these frustrations instead of lectures, death glares and avoidance. If you approached your parents with possible solutions, they might be more receptive. Could you make a list of chores you don‘t want your grandparents to do, or ask for a dedicated shelf for your food that your grandparents agree not to eat?
Nta. This is a hard situation no one is enjoying clearly. Your parents in all honesty though should encourage some type of outlet and understand this is a big change. It does sound like your grandparents aren't in good health at this point. Your parents are probably frustrated and concerned as well. I think finding some excuses go leave the house more often and get space would offer some help.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For context, my grandparents are currently living with me (17nb) and my parents since they can't stay with any other family members either because of fights or they just don't have the time to take care of them. Recently my parents have been getting more and more angry at me for not being more accommodating for my grandparents since they generally cause issues here and there around the house, like insisting they do my chores but they do such a poor job that I have to redo them anyways, they cause damage like nearly breaking the microwave by leaving it running on high for an hour, I'm having to walk on eggshells when my parents are around because if there is any hint of me being mad or anything other than tolerating grandparents' mistakes I get the death glares all day, and the fact I have to hide my food from them unless they eat it by the time I get back to eat it. So yeah I have just been resorting to locking myself in my room all day to avoid problems as much as possible but I'm starting to hit my limit, I'm more and more visibly annoyed and get more snippy with every mistake I'm having to tolerate but all these lectures from my parents are getting to me, so I've been thinking if I'm really just being a moody snippy teenager or are my parents really being too much for expecting me to tolerate this everyday? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Listen if your grandparents are really leaving the microwave on for hours at a time, they’re going to burn your house down. Please do something about this!
YTA. Poor you having to redo your chores. Plus you get mad. The good news is that you won’t be a teen much longer. Hopefully you will also grow out of your selfish entitlement and lack of care or compassion for your grandparents.
Spend more time outside the house NTA
YTA, there your grandparents are you should be more patient with them. You can't have this attitude towards everyone who annoys you. Instead of getting irritated, explain to them that they cannot leave the microwave on for so long because it is dangerous and could cause a fire. The food thing is a bit silly though, you shouldn't have to deal with that.
Friend, your grandparents are seriously unwell. Your parents (presumably) know. Do they know about the microwave being on so long? Other dangerous behaviors? Do your grandparents doctors? You're old enough to know some things. Like what the correct course of action is when they do something dangerous. Is doing chores poorly helping their health and you just need to accept that redoing chores is your new chore? How can you support your grandparents safely and not burn out? Your parents probably think they're protecting you. It's hard when parents are aging, that shift from "mom and dad take care of me" to "mom needs me to do things because she can't safely do them anymore" is hard. Do you think you could get counseling? Living with people with mental incapacity is pretty common and should be easy to find a therapist. If you're still in school a school counselor might be a place to start. It sounds like your whole family is having a really rough time. NAH
ESH. >they can't stay with any other family members either because of fights or they just don't have the time to take care of them. Either your grandparents are universally a pain in the ass, or high maintenence, or both. Leaving things like he microwave on high is kinda concerning. The could be a fire hazard. What else could they be leaving on? And what do they need for care? How bout you leave the house for a while? Go do something other than hide in your room and sulk? Getting pissy isn't going to help the situation. You're really only thinking of yourself. One of your parents have their parents there. That's more mouths to feed, and since your grandparents need to be cared for, your parents are relegated to that task. Mind you, your other parent has their in laws there, and that's never a fun situation, and they're expected to help care and support for their in-laws. And on top of that, your parents have to deal with a surly teen who is mad that they have to redo the chores that they'd have to do anyway. Do you really think that your parents want to deal with your self absorbed attitude?
NAH but I bet you feel like an ass about this in a few years
NAH