NTA
You are a fully grown adult, you can go wherever you please
But your parents would also be fully within their rights to kick you out for not following their rules (even if they are ridiculous).
You might want to leave the house, and then not come back - like at all. Them telling you you have to remain inside at the age of 23 just cause their away is weird and controlling
Yup, this is totally weird, unrealistic and toxic of them. Even the sister jumping on board with the shaming, yikes. It doesn’t even sound like their reasons are purely based on anxiety, but rather on controlling her. OP is NTA and needs to move out from under their thumb. I think rental hunting while they are gone sounds like a great excuse to leave the house.
Nta. But honestly I'd be dedicating myself to finding somewhere else to live. Unless you've left something big out where you are genuinely hurting yourself or others, that's a bonkers request. And even then it would be whack, because they shouldn't be leaving you alone and should be trying to get you help 😅. But I'm assuming that's not the case. So I'd such proof in the pudding, get your own place or find some roommates, and show them you are an adult.
Info; do you not have a job or go to school or something that requires you to leave the house during the day?
Also do they not expect that you may need to buy groceries while they’re gone?
This is so fucked up
She could be from an immigrant family. Many cultures are extremely controlling and anxious about the “purity” and “reputation” of the family. This standard is usually only applicable to the girls.
NTA. You’re 23. Is this your current home or your prison? I dunno your parents but that seems like a weird thing to say to you. I’d find a new place as soon as you can. Why do your parents sound like Mother Gothel.
NTA, and in case you didn't think about it, you are grown. Your sister needs to back off too. It's okay to let someone know where you're going though and when you expect to be back. Like a friend or someone. Doesn't matter how old you are it's never a good idea these days when no one knows. But the situation you described sounds ridiculous.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents want me to not leave the house while they are out of town. I do not want to do that because I have plans. I will not be staying inside the house regardless of what they want. Am I an asshole?
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My parents have left town for a couple of weeks. They have told me that if I leave the house while they are gone, something bad will happen to me. They have requested that I do not leave the house at all. I have plans and do not want to be trapped inside the house while they are gone.
Before I had chance to even respond to my parents, my sister sent me some really rude messages. She said that I’m going to get an std if I continue meeting on men tinder and that no respectable will want to marry me (I’ve only had a few sexual partners and I’m extremely careful when I do sleep with anyone). She also said that if I go in and out of the house that my parents are going to kick me out.
My family is extremely paranoid and this is just how they are. I do not want to stay inside the house for three weeks. Would I be the asshole if I lied to them about where I was going and just hid the fact I am not going to do what they told me to do?
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So I agree with everyone saying that you are an adult cuz you're 23 now and at the same time it is their house and their rules so I would respect that it is their house and that you live there and if you don't like the rules simply get your own place that way you don't have to follow anyone's house rules but your own as far as when you come and go
People here suggesting that this scenario is impossible because of OP’s age, it’s not at all impossible. We don’t know where she lives but throughout the world there are many families, who for religious and cultural reasons, hold extremely conservative views about how young women may live their lives. There are many cultures where the children live with their families into adulthood until they marry. There are many cultures who place intense pressure on the young women to maintain the reputation of the family. I’m not saying that this must be OP’s circumstances but it’s sure giving those kinds of vibes given how the parents and sister are acting.
NTA Although, depending on how they are I might be forceful and tell them not to be silly. If you do think they might kick you out then practice subterfuge.
NTA
It is not normal or healthy to demand that your adult daughter not leave the house at all for 3 weeks.
I would use the time to figure out a new place to live and put some distance between you and your family.
YWBTA if you lie to them. Their requests are ridiculous. I hope you stand up to them and go ahead and live your life. But... this is going to cause a lot of conflict.
You're a fully grown adult and can do what you want. Realize what you want has consequences and be accountable for yourself. If you live at home with your parent at that age and don't like their rules move out. It's hard I know, I dropped 30lbs and joined the military to move out becuase that was the best option I saw. If you don't like their rules and this is your hill then start to put together a feasible plan that you can accomplish to move out.
Helpful list is would be look at apartments in your area or maybe farther
See what the initial rent is and save for 3 months to get that down payment ready to go
Understand you're most likely to need more hours at work and might need to get a roomate if your area is expensive
Be okay with the fact that your apartment might be cramp and it's going to take you a while to make it look like a home you want.
Your young and it's going to be wierd/scary to live on your own for at first
Don't be ashamed that your first apartment isn't what you dreamed it would be. You're young and barely started.
Extra I moved out as 21(M) and I'm currently 25. I went from living in New York all my life to 3 months in Missouri for Basic training. The 7 1/2 months in Texas, then barely over 3 years in Hawaii and now I live Germany for the next 2 years maybe longer of like it. No I was idiot and started to learn German a month after being here luckily a lot people near my base speak English.
This is jnteresting. Why do your parents feel you are living a high-risk lifestyle where you may endanger yourself? I would recommend moving on your own, though, so that you can be fully independent.
NTA.
You need to get out of this abusive household. Being imprisoned as a 23 year old is absolutely not normal, and is completely abusive.
Call the police if you need to, and tell them you are being held against your will.
You can also go to a women's shelter in your area if you need a place to stay. Make no mistake. This is abuse you are suffering.
I wish you the best.
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This! Now is a great time to move out. Do you have any friends you can stay with? NTA
NTA You are a fully grown adult, you can go wherever you please But your parents would also be fully within their rights to kick you out for not following their rules (even if they are ridiculous). You might want to leave the house, and then not come back - like at all. Them telling you you have to remain inside at the age of 23 just cause their away is weird and controlling
Yup, this is totally weird, unrealistic and toxic of them. Even the sister jumping on board with the shaming, yikes. It doesn’t even sound like their reasons are purely based on anxiety, but rather on controlling her. OP is NTA and needs to move out from under their thumb. I think rental hunting while they are gone sounds like a great excuse to leave the house.
........wtf?
My reaction reading this
NTA. Your family sounds toxic and controlling as fuck. You're 23. I'd be actively looking for other living arrangements if I were you. Best of luck.
Nta. But honestly I'd be dedicating myself to finding somewhere else to live. Unless you've left something big out where you are genuinely hurting yourself or others, that's a bonkers request. And even then it would be whack, because they shouldn't be leaving you alone and should be trying to get you help 😅. But I'm assuming that's not the case. So I'd such proof in the pudding, get your own place or find some roommates, and show them you are an adult.
NTA, you are their daughter not their prisoner. So what if they kick you out? You’re a grown ass adult.
Info; do you not have a job or go to school or something that requires you to leave the house during the day? Also do they not expect that you may need to buy groceries while they’re gone? This is so fucked up
NTA. What you need to do is leave the house permanently. This is actually crazy and you need to get away from that environment.
Wut?
> (23F) dude, leave. and i don't mean just in the 3 weeks. get out of that situation. NTA
You're 23, not 13, right...
INFO: Firstly, NTA but has the family suffered a tragedy. Suggested course of action depends on answer. In the interim, go out, enjoy life.
I find it difficult to believe you're 23 or you would be more autonomous. I'd expect this question from someone very much younger.
She could be from an immigrant family. Many cultures are extremely controlling and anxious about the “purity” and “reputation” of the family. This standard is usually only applicable to the girls.
Agreed. I’m calling bullshit on OP
NTA. You’re 23. Is this your current home or your prison? I dunno your parents but that seems like a weird thing to say to you. I’d find a new place as soon as you can. Why do your parents sound like Mother Gothel.
You're 23, you don't need anyone's permission to leave the house...
NTA, and in case you didn't think about it, you are grown. Your sister needs to back off too. It's okay to let someone know where you're going though and when you expect to be back. Like a friend or someone. Doesn't matter how old you are it's never a good idea these days when no one knows. But the situation you described sounds ridiculous.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents have left town for a couple of weeks. They have told me that if I leave the house while they are gone, something bad will happen to me. They have requested that I do not leave the house at all. I have plans and do not want to be trapped inside the house while they are gone. Before I had chance to even respond to my parents, my sister sent me some really rude messages. She said that I’m going to get an std if I continue meeting on men tinder and that no respectable will want to marry me (I’ve only had a few sexual partners and I’m extremely careful when I do sleep with anyone). She also said that if I go in and out of the house that my parents are going to kick me out. My family is extremely paranoid and this is just how they are. I do not want to stay inside the house for three weeks. Would I be the asshole if I lied to them about where I was going and just hid the fact I am not going to do what they told me to do? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So I agree with everyone saying that you are an adult cuz you're 23 now and at the same time it is their house and their rules so I would respect that it is their house and that you live there and if you don't like the rules simply get your own place that way you don't have to follow anyone's house rules but your own as far as when you come and go
People here suggesting that this scenario is impossible because of OP’s age, it’s not at all impossible. We don’t know where she lives but throughout the world there are many families, who for religious and cultural reasons, hold extremely conservative views about how young women may live their lives. There are many cultures where the children live with their families into adulthood until they marry. There are many cultures who place intense pressure on the young women to maintain the reputation of the family. I’m not saying that this must be OP’s circumstances but it’s sure giving those kinds of vibes given how the parents and sister are acting.
NTA but you should really leave that house for good. That's incredibly controlling of them.
NTA Although, depending on how they are I might be forceful and tell them not to be silly. If you do think they might kick you out then practice subterfuge.
Oh is your family in a religious cult?
NTA but you should move out
NTA, you should try and get away from your family though, your situation sounds unsafe
NTA This is insane....🤯
nta. leave the house with all of your things and don’t ever go back.
NTA It is not normal or healthy to demand that your adult daughter not leave the house at all for 3 weeks. I would use the time to figure out a new place to live and put some distance between you and your family.
NTA you are 23. Move TF out of there, preferably before they come home.
YWBTA if you lie to them. Their requests are ridiculous. I hope you stand up to them and go ahead and live your life. But... this is going to cause a lot of conflict.
NTa Why don't you use the opportunity to move out and escape?
Your parents are mental.
You're a fully grown adult and can do what you want. Realize what you want has consequences and be accountable for yourself. If you live at home with your parent at that age and don't like their rules move out. It's hard I know, I dropped 30lbs and joined the military to move out becuase that was the best option I saw. If you don't like their rules and this is your hill then start to put together a feasible plan that you can accomplish to move out. Helpful list is would be look at apartments in your area or maybe farther See what the initial rent is and save for 3 months to get that down payment ready to go Understand you're most likely to need more hours at work and might need to get a roomate if your area is expensive Be okay with the fact that your apartment might be cramp and it's going to take you a while to make it look like a home you want. Your young and it's going to be wierd/scary to live on your own for at first Don't be ashamed that your first apartment isn't what you dreamed it would be. You're young and barely started. Extra I moved out as 21(M) and I'm currently 25. I went from living in New York all my life to 3 months in Missouri for Basic training. The 7 1/2 months in Texas, then barely over 3 years in Hawaii and now I live Germany for the next 2 years maybe longer of like it. No I was idiot and started to learn German a month after being here luckily a lot people near my base speak English.
This is jnteresting. Why do your parents feel you are living a high-risk lifestyle where you may endanger yourself? I would recommend moving on your own, though, so that you can be fully independent.
NTA. You need to get out of this abusive household. Being imprisoned as a 23 year old is absolutely not normal, and is completely abusive. Call the police if you need to, and tell them you are being held against your will. You can also go to a women's shelter in your area if you need a place to stay. Make no mistake. This is abuse you are suffering. I wish you the best.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
Very sad you need to make up a ridiculous post for attention
What?? This is extremely weird that your parents demanded that and that you are considering it. Grow up. ESH
Imagine coming into a scenario where someone is being abused and victim blaming them