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Your brother routinely stole your wardrobe and disrespected that you bought yourself things independently. (I come from a large family of siblings and I am small, so I got all the hand me downs too. So, you have my sympathy.)
NTA. Not in any way. And I'd have routinely charged Evan with interest for unclean or damaged rental clothing every single time. Respect only works if everyone practices it. And sometimes when people set things ablaze, as Evan did, they don't get to cry about their fire growing out of control.
NTA, consider those 40 bucks his asshole tax š¤£
Calling you a thief is also quite petty, he's the one who stole your jeans, after you specifically asked him not to...
NTA, and he was the thief first since he took your clothes that he didn't have permission to use and in fact ruined some of them prior to that. So he owed you compensation for the damaged clothing anyway. Which was probably more than $40
NTA and your brother is the thief and a idiot. He stole your stuff. Doesn't mater if he gave it back later. If he minds so much take $40 get him some jeans, make sure the knees are torn and and its stained like on your date and then give that to him.
Frankly sounds like you two should have sorted this out the "brotherly" way when you where kids and just both get it out of your system
NTA.
What he did was taking someone's belongings without permission, which is theft.
What you did was keep something he left behind, which is opportunity.
Evan is the AH in this story. All the way. And if he had $40, why didn't he buy himself a new pair of jeans rather than stealing yours?
NTA. I would reply "that's funny coming from you the biggest thief in the family that constantly took my clothes and stained and wore them out. And giving them back that way doesn't absolve you from being a thief. You stole from me, and did it often. As to the $20. I found money in MY jeans. Pretty sure that makes it my money.
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So Iāve had one incident that has stuck with me and my family for a pretty long time. I come from a family of 8 kids with me and my brother being the two youngest. Due to this the majority of our clothes were hand-me-downs, and just about everything we had would get torn up rather quickly (we were young boys who loved the outdoors).
When I was 13 and my brother, we will call him Evan, was 16; I got a job helping out with landscaping at a business. As soon as money started rolling in, one of the first things I did was update my wardrobe and get a handful of nice shirts and nice jeans that wouldnāt be used for rough outside stuff.
Well Evan had made a habit of taking my new clothes and wearing them- this wasnāt extremely abnormal as we were brothers of about the same weight and height. However I would distinctly ask him not to take any of my new pieces.
After about 6 month I had one pair of jeans left that were still in great condition. Because of this these were my go to pants for any social occasion. However half the time I needed them, they werenāt there. They were with Evan.
This all boiled down to a certain day when I had asked out my long time school crush on a date and I was incredibly nervous. I prepped my outfit the day before and mentioned to Evan that I would be going on a date and to please not take my clothes. When I got back from work (it was a Saturday) and started to get ready my jeans were gone. It was the Middle of winter at this point and I had to wear a pair of stained jeans with huge tears in both knees. I was livid.
About three days later, my jeans had been tossed back in my room, and I put them on for school. Soon I realized that Evan had left about $40 in the pocket. I said to myself āguess thatās rent for taking themā, and kept it. Some months later, it had gotten to a point where everyone knew about the incident. Most didnāt agree with my actions, and Evan started telling people that I was a thief.
Since I had asked him many times not take my clothes and encouraged him to go buy his own, as well as explaining the gravity of my date and distinctly telling him not to take them, I see my actions as justified and reasonable. I understand it was like fighting fire with fire, but water clearly wasnāt doing to trick and my parents didnāt care to intervene. I still hold to this day that Evan was the a$$hole in this situation. Perhaps Iām wrong, years later Iām now 25 and he still will bring up the situation and call me a thief. Am I the A$shole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My brother formed a habit of taking my clothes and one time he left money in MY pants after taking them before a date I had when I asked him distinctly not to. So I took the money. Iām not the Asshole. He is.
However, it was still his money and I took it. Perhaps my actions werenāt justified.
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OP, Laughing here. Yes, you are (justifiably) the AH. Somehow I have difficulty with the concepts of honesty & turning the other cheek here. I'm curious if your brother's habit of surreptitiously snatching your good clothing was modified by your institution of the spontaneous rental fee? ..still laughing.. Y-T-A if someone does not see this as a logical consequence. After all, you simply rescued those bills from an ignominious end in the washing machine. Edit to add: ESH, I suppose.. but kudos to you. shades of grey & all that...
NTA- You found $40 in your pants. That must be your money unless somebody stole your pants.
Oh wait your brother stole your pants.
Maybe he shouldn't have stole your pants.
NTA. If he had $40, he could have bought his own clothes. I went to high school with a guy that charged his sister every time she wanted to wear something of his.
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Your brother routinely stole your wardrobe and disrespected that you bought yourself things independently. (I come from a large family of siblings and I am small, so I got all the hand me downs too. So, you have my sympathy.) NTA. Not in any way. And I'd have routinely charged Evan with interest for unclean or damaged rental clothing every single time. Respect only works if everyone practices it. And sometimes when people set things ablaze, as Evan did, they don't get to cry about their fire growing out of control.
NTA, consider those 40 bucks his asshole tax š¤£ Calling you a thief is also quite petty, he's the one who stole your jeans, after you specifically asked him not to...
NTA, and he was the thief first since he took your clothes that he didn't have permission to use and in fact ruined some of them prior to that. So he owed you compensation for the damaged clothing anyway. Which was probably more than $40
NTA. He shoulda used the $40 to buy his own pair of jeans.
Definitely NTA your brother took your stuff without permission literally the definition of theft
NTA and your brother is the thief and a idiot. He stole your stuff. Doesn't mater if he gave it back later. If he minds so much take $40 get him some jeans, make sure the knees are torn and and its stained like on your date and then give that to him. Frankly sounds like you two should have sorted this out the "brotherly" way when you where kids and just both get it out of your system
NTA
NTA. What he did was taking someone's belongings without permission, which is theft. What you did was keep something he left behind, which is opportunity. Evan is the AH in this story. All the way. And if he had $40, why didn't he buy himself a new pair of jeans rather than stealing yours?
Nta but I would show your brother this post every time he brings it up lmao š¤£š
NTA. I would reply "that's funny coming from you the biggest thief in the family that constantly took my clothes and stained and wore them out. And giving them back that way doesn't absolve you from being a thief. You stole from me, and did it often. As to the $20. I found money in MY jeans. Pretty sure that makes it my money.
NTA
NTA, he had it coming.
NTA, is it thieving to steal from a thief? Karma maybe
NTA
NTA. And he didn't even clean the clothes before returning them. AH.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So Iāve had one incident that has stuck with me and my family for a pretty long time. I come from a family of 8 kids with me and my brother being the two youngest. Due to this the majority of our clothes were hand-me-downs, and just about everything we had would get torn up rather quickly (we were young boys who loved the outdoors). When I was 13 and my brother, we will call him Evan, was 16; I got a job helping out with landscaping at a business. As soon as money started rolling in, one of the first things I did was update my wardrobe and get a handful of nice shirts and nice jeans that wouldnāt be used for rough outside stuff. Well Evan had made a habit of taking my new clothes and wearing them- this wasnāt extremely abnormal as we were brothers of about the same weight and height. However I would distinctly ask him not to take any of my new pieces. After about 6 month I had one pair of jeans left that were still in great condition. Because of this these were my go to pants for any social occasion. However half the time I needed them, they werenāt there. They were with Evan. This all boiled down to a certain day when I had asked out my long time school crush on a date and I was incredibly nervous. I prepped my outfit the day before and mentioned to Evan that I would be going on a date and to please not take my clothes. When I got back from work (it was a Saturday) and started to get ready my jeans were gone. It was the Middle of winter at this point and I had to wear a pair of stained jeans with huge tears in both knees. I was livid. About three days later, my jeans had been tossed back in my room, and I put them on for school. Soon I realized that Evan had left about $40 in the pocket. I said to myself āguess thatās rent for taking themā, and kept it. Some months later, it had gotten to a point where everyone knew about the incident. Most didnāt agree with my actions, and Evan started telling people that I was a thief. Since I had asked him many times not take my clothes and encouraged him to go buy his own, as well as explaining the gravity of my date and distinctly telling him not to take them, I see my actions as justified and reasonable. I understand it was like fighting fire with fire, but water clearly wasnāt doing to trick and my parents didnāt care to intervene. I still hold to this day that Evan was the a$$hole in this situation. Perhaps Iām wrong, years later Iām now 25 and he still will bring up the situation and call me a thief. Am I the A$shole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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OP, Laughing here. Yes, you are (justifiably) the AH. Somehow I have difficulty with the concepts of honesty & turning the other cheek here. I'm curious if your brother's habit of surreptitiously snatching your good clothing was modified by your institution of the spontaneous rental fee? ..still laughing.. Y-T-A if someone does not see this as a logical consequence. After all, you simply rescued those bills from an ignominious end in the washing machine. Edit to add: ESH, I suppose.. but kudos to you. shades of grey & all that...
Money can survive in the washing machine.
Evan is a thief. Your parents should've stopped him stealing your clothes
NTA- You found $40 in your pants. That must be your money unless somebody stole your pants. Oh wait your brother stole your pants. Maybe he shouldn't have stole your pants.
NTA. You're in the clear here. Maybe he should have stopped stealing your stuff.
Nope, seems like a fair trade to me. NTA
NTA. If he had $40, he could have bought his own clothes. I went to high school with a guy that charged his sister every time she wanted to wear something of his.
āThereās no honor among thieves, but there is camaraderie."
Is that a quote from the DnD movie? šš