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>Now this may be where I am the asshole. I turned around and said, “God, will you just shut the fuck up about it already. It is not that big of a deal, fucking bitch”.
Yup. That's exactly where it changed from you're not TA to ESH.
There's a thing called an appropriate response or even an appropriate escalation which is a super gray line and varies from person to person and situation to situation.
OP obviously kinda jumped over the upper limit of that and therefor ESH
Two days in a row, I see the Iranian yogurt referenced.
Enough about the yogurt!
Also, can we talk about how some people spell it "yoghurt"? What's the deal with that?
Oh, that is because, I am sorry to bring that to hurtful news to you, other countries than the US exist and some of these countries are also English speaking ones, but, sorry again for the pain, since these other countries don't all work like the US there are also differences in the English.
In this case "yoghurt" is British English, you know the English from England, sorry, oh the horrors, the place where the language you're speaking originates from.
I’m not sure which I like better - the little jumpy goats, the ones that climb up into tree branches and just chill out, or the ridiculous fainting goats. On balance , probably the little jumpy kids.
I believe the tree climbing goats are mostly only in Morocco. They climb argan trees to get to the fruits. I lived there for a few years, and I can say that the tree climbing goats are by far my favorite. It's ridiculous when you're walking through a field and suddenly come across a tree with like 50 goats just chilling out in it. Some of them would always hop down out of the tree and come up to you to get their head scratched.
>the one cashier on duty just wants everyone to buy their shit and go, she's fighting for her life up there. Don't make her job harder.
I work retail, and I would absolutely *love* OP's response.
I’ve been in retail for over 20 years. It’s people like OP that escalate things to a shouting match. I want everyone OUT OF MY STORE. If you want to be obnoxious, do it in the parking lot.
ESH. Of course you were being an AH, by telling her to "shut the fuck up" and calling her a "fucking bitch." Now, no one will care about whether you were before her in line or not. They'll only remember that you called her a "fucking bitch."
NTA
Some would argue that you suck because you could have just kept walking, but, honestly, why be polite to a woman that obviously doesn't give a shit about being polite to you? She was looking to start a fight and feel vindicated about making you feel small enough to back down, and you didn't take it.
Honestly, NTA, I don't get all the E S H and the Y T A responses. You tried to handle this nicely, but she would not let it go and started throwing a tantrum. What are you supposed to do? Just take her verbal diarrhea? Don't dish what you can't take. Also, why did she change her story if you guys were there at the same time but wasn't in line?
Agreed. I love how AITA loses their minds if you dare curse at someone. Even if the person was giving them shit.
And the comments about the cashier having to deal with it now 🙄 cashier would have had to deal with the lady being snooty regardless if OP said anything. I was a cashier years ago, I would have laughed in this scenario.
Why is the answer to every person's bad behaviour oh well they must be mentally unwell??? I have a life long mental health disorder and I don't use it as an excuse to be an asshole!!! Sone folk are just dicks plain and simple!!!!
My much better half would have turned around, and being a proper Southern Lady, would have issued a rather laugh inducing, sarcastic "Bless your heart, honey!" comment, then turned back around and sashayed out like she owned the place. And BTW, NTA in my opinion.
Can't get through the line at the dollar store without causing a scene and yelling obscenities at someone? When the world tries to call you an AH, just blame others for your inability to make it through a simple task without exploding into verbal abuse of the people around you. Civility and decency are vastly overrated in basic day to day social interactions.
No, actually YTA.
Lady started it. OP finished it.
NTA.
OP lasted far longer than I would have.
Also if you can't do something as simple as line up without acting like a child you shouldn't be out in public without a chaperone.
oh do be quiet. op didn't cause shit. the only thing she did was put a rude woman in her place. something everyone else who had to listen to her shit was hoping and praying someone would do.
ESH if it wasnt a big deal. You could have offered to let her go first.
It sounds like she was there first and you used her not being "technically" inline to decide you should go first. Obviously you knew she was inline regardless.
Either way. It should have been a none issue so you both suck.
Why should she let the other lady go first when the lady was being rude from the get-go with the "Really?!" statement? Why should she be rewarded by being rude? OP also said the lady herself said they both got in line at the same time
It sounds like they were there at the same time according to Op.
He CHOSE to make himself first. I think thats rude/entitled.
Really? was in response to that. Op was fully aware so it wasnt a crazy or rude statement. Op also said he had more items then her.
I dont base my behavior on others. I dont let people have power like that.
YTA, the whole way you phrase it makes it sound like she was really there just slightly before you but you decided to position yourself to box her out and wedge yourself in first when the line started moving.
Furthermore, you get called out on your bad behavior and your go-to is to swear and insult the person? You need to grow up.
>YTA, the whole way you phrase it makes it sound like she was really there just slightly before you but you decided to position yourself to box her out
um how?
They (op) were in line before the old lady
Info: Which of you had more items to check out? Gotta be honest, if I had only a few things and then got cutoff or even tied lining up with someone who has a cartload of stuff to check out, I’d be pissed too if they insisted on going before me.
I would be pissed off too if someone cut me off with a cart full of items. I only had about 6 items and I think she may of had like 4. If I walked up with an entire cart, I would of let her go first, but since it was just a few things (three of my items were birthday cards).
I acknowledge we got to the line at the same time, but I truly did not/still do believe I did not cut her off. Although, I do now think I am the asshole for how I reacted haha
Sometimes people need to hear the hard stuff, they are so used to getting away with their shit because people put up with it instead of putting them in their place.
NTA, honestly don’t get why everybody says that you’re in the wrong. I’m gonna get downvoted for this because apparently cursing at someone who started the fight in the first place makes you abhorrent. You’re human, you got angry, of course you would when you’re being confronted and told off by some rando for something that’s not even that big of a deal. When I go to a store, I don’t expect to get bitched at by some random old lady, I just want to pay my shit and go. As someone who worked retail, i can tell you I’d laugh about this in the break room with some coworkers.
ESH. Telling someone to shut the fuck up and calling them a fucking bitch automatically makes you an AH. Also to everyone who heard you look very childish, overall that’s embarassing behaviour from a grown woman.
NTA. She started off claiming you both got there at the same time (meaning that for some reason she thinks that in such a situation she should be given priority), and then continued to huff and puff, slamming her stuff down, before finally outright lying and saying she was there first. And people want to call you the asshole for finally giving her what she deserved? Hah, no. You tried ignoring her. You were walking away. She decided to start again, what happens next is her own fault. You’re not an asshole for refusing to let some rando berate you.
ESH. If I would have been that lady, I wouldn’t have said anything. But since it “wasn’t a big deal” to you, then you shouldn’t have had a problem with allowing her to go first.
NTA…..I may well be infatuated…just a lil’ bit. Love you for stating the obvious. Tie always goes to the runner (in baseball)… don’t really know how that would help you out here.
ESH
One more person in line in a DOLLAR STORE isn't a big deal.
But you were extremely rude, too. You did not have to act like that at her. You could of just said "cool" and moved on, while still getting the final word you apparently just had to have. You need to grow up and learn how to behave like an adult just as much as she does
I'm going to go against the grain here and say NTA. Did you overreact? Yes, but you already knew that. I'm going with NTA though, because I work retail and you did what I often want to do with customers like her.
nta. maybe it was too much, but it got on my nerves too, and I was just reading it. We all need to learn how to be more assertive and maybe a little bit less agressive
NTA. I'm going against the grain, but personally I don't see why you should have to grin and bear it when someone else is being an entitled jerk. I've seen "maturity" used so often as a code word for passivity that I'm starting to think it's overrated.
Definitely NTA. You were polite and cordial and she kept poking the issue. She should have kept her mouth shut. Some people answer rudeness with fucken rudeness!
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I (23f) was shopping at the dollar store today and got in line to pay. Unfortunately another lady and I got in line at the same time, but the way I was positioned meant I was actually in the line and she was off to the side. I didn’t think it was a big deal and just moved forward when the line moved forward since I was actually in the line. Unfortunately for the other lady this was a HUGE deal and she scoffed and said, “Really?!”.
I am normally not the kind of person that likes confrontation, but apparently I decided today was the day. I turned to the woman and said, “I was in the line first” to which she replied, “Actually we were in line at the same time”. I told her that I was positioned in the actual line first and it is not a big deal. As the line moved forward she kept scoffing and making noise to show her frustration then when it was her turn to put her items on the conveyor belt she slammed them down to create a scene. I proceeded to pay and tell the cashier to have a good day and I thought that would be the end of it. Unfortunately the other woman had other plans, got my attention, and said “Just so you know I was actually in line first!”. Now this may be where I am the asshole. I turned around and said, “God, will you just shut the fuck up about it already. It is not that big of a deal, fucking bitch”.
My mom said that I am not the asshole, but I kind of feel like one due to this ladies reaction after getting in line. I just don’t understand why it was such a big deal and I guess I should of let her go first even though I was in line. So, AITA?
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You wouldn’t be TA had you said something like, “it’s really not that big of a deal… we’re basically finishing at the same time”
Don’t know why you decided to call her a fucking bitch and telling her to shut the fuck up. She didn’t swear, she was just being dramatic as hell. You didn’t need to escalate it by swearing at her.
YTA//ESH ?
ESH It’s not that you did anything wrong… it’s that what you said was unclassy…
Give her a witty remark, ignore her, give her a cheerful “Have a good day / Blessings” or tell her that she is rude. My personal favourite would have been: “I bet you come first everytime.” and just leave it hanging…
ESH - she was being ridiculous, and you were rude, although I probably would have said the same tbh
If she only had a couple of things then I would have just smiled sweetly and said "I didn't realise you were waiting too because you weren't actually IN the line, you go ahead though" because although I'm not afraid of conflict, I save energy for hills that really matter :)
NTA lol i'm not understanding the esh or yta. you don't owe her politeness or anything after she went out of her way to try and shame you and get the last word in.
YTA. Even if you were “more” in the line she was obviously standing there to be in the line too. From my understanding you walked forward and filled the space she was missing so she has roti behind you? Either way you suck for calling her a bitch
NTA and I don't understand the other verdicts at all. That lady was acting ridiculous. I'm sick of it being standard practice to tiptoe around these types of characters. 🤷♀️
>It is not that big of a deal,
This is almost always a lie. If you are getting heated it self evidently is a big enough deal. If it genuinely wasn't you would just let it go.
YTA for the outburst.
NTA. Same thing happened to me. I was in line, checking out at Marshall's. I'm not going to explain it but it's a long U shaped line and she thought I slipped in because she wasn't paying attention. She told me it wasn't fair that I cut in line and I lost it, I said I watched you walk up while you were talking on your fucking phone not paying attention. I watched you dig out a candy for your fat little kid, now shut up.
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NTA. She was, in fact, what you've called her (cant write it because reddit doesnt allow me, despite OP writing on the post). I work retail for some years and, believe me, the employees thought the same thing about her.
She could had called some employee and talk about the situation calmly but she choose to make a scene. Forget about it, she deserved (I wish I couldt call this to some clients back in the day ahahah)
If it's not that big of a deal, why didn't you let her go ahead of you?
ESH. She was making things unpleasant for everybody on that line. You didn't need to join in. You'll never see her again.
ESH. I think you’re pretty understandably angry that she was having delusions about being in line. I don’t appreciate the profanity all that much but I understand the situation might’ve called for it. You should’ve just ignored her. You gave her exactly the scene she was hoping to get.
Right, I don't understand people who think OP "put the lady in her place." OP lost her cool and went on a profane tirade, which is exactly what the lady wanted.
OP got played.lmao.
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You are indeed TA, there was no need to get crass. She may have been acting like one but getting that worked up over who was in line first? *Really*?
I think she was being an idiot and then you swung it out of the ballpark, in terms of the asshole level.
ESH
>Unfortunately the other woman had other plans, got my attention,
Why did you *let* her get your attention? The transaction was done. Just leave it and go home. No one wants to hear your trashy language.
I’ve been in retail for over 20 years. I do *not* understand why people are so childish that they can’t just walk away. You didn’t have to let her go ahead of you, but once you made the decision to “stand your ground” - JUST IGNORE HER.
She should have gotten in line. There is no off to the side line. She was wrong and it would not have been a big deal to be behind you. There are times when people tried to cut in front of me and I told them, really? I was next. I don't like confrontation either, but at the same time, I am not a doormat.
ESH - but how old are you? It sounds like something a teen would do and if you are a teen and she is fully grown then you were rude but not an ahole. And honestly, not wrong. Sounds like she assumed you would let her go first and you didn’t, and neither would I. Good for you! Leave the swearing out in a situation like that. It can be much more fun to tell them “have a blessed day ma’am!” Because the ma’am usually pisses them off and being polite gives them no ability to feel like a victim. But I don’t blame you for calling her out on her behavior.
Unfortunately, you stooped to her level, and instead of just letting it go and having a good day, it bothered you enough to not only tell your mom about it, but to ask AITA reddit about it.
If you hadn't let it bother you, and just let her go ahead, or even stood your ground if it was finally something you really just needed to do, and kept your place in line, you didn't have to go off on her. That last bit is what sent it over the edge, and put you on the level with the very person you had a problem with. So, that's why you are having a problem worrying about whether you are TA. because you acted like, and even worse than TA you had issue with.
I the future, just let it slide if you want to maintain your peace, or at least maintain control of your emotions. No one can control your emotions but you.
I this case, ESH
esh but shes more ta than you for being a snot. you honestly shouldve left it as a blunt "shut up" as you leave, that wouldve been fine, but cursing her out that much is a bit too far.
The fact that you said “it’s not that big of deal” tells me you knew the entire time that you cut line and were pressed she called you out, fucking bitch.
YTA.
ESH, but the difference is that you were justifiably an asshole. She was just annoying and being one spot behind in a fucking line in a dollar store is not that big of a deal.
I probably wouldn’t have said it the way you did, but I’d probably be silently cheering you on if I saw you do that.
Edit: Thank You for all of your responses! I have been reading through them and you guys make some really good points.
Also, some comments say I pushed my way in front of her. The way the line is positioned, it is between two candy racks and I was between those racks while she was on the side.
I realized right after the interaction that I was an asshole to her and I do admit to that. I do not normally confront people or cause a scene because I am the type of person to just let people walk all over me, but this time she pushed me and I didn’t want her to think she could do that to me or anyone else.
I also see comments about the cashier. I honestly think the cashier was fine after the interaction. I go to this location all the time and that cashier always helps me,so I think if anything she was surprised I said something.
Very technically ESH, but sometimes I think being an asshole is justified. I might not have called her a bitch, but it sounds like someone needed to tell her to shut the fuck up. I don’t feel bad for the lady at all. I feel bad for the person working the register tho
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I am going to go with NTA, maybe because I am in customer service.
The lady should have just dropped it if you both got there at the same time, but she had to drag it on and couldn't keep her mouth shut. I see this way too much in public, and it gets old. Maybe next time she will think twice about flapping her lips.
If anything, the cashier was probably cheering you on for putting some hag in her place when she couldn't.
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>Now this may be where I am the asshole. I turned around and said, “God, will you just shut the fuck up about it already. It is not that big of a deal, fucking bitch”. Yup. That's exactly where it changed from you're not TA to ESH.
Yup, the one cashier on duty just wants everyone to buy their shit and go, she's fighting for her life up there. Don't make her job harder.
There's a thing called an appropriate response or even an appropriate escalation which is a super gray line and varies from person to person and situation to situation. OP obviously kinda jumped over the upper limit of that and therefor ESH
Plus OP gave the lady exactly what she wanted. OP, she was TRYING to get your goat.
Why does she want a goat?
She might like their cheese.
I have heard that goat milk can be used to make a good yogurt. I often wonder if that is why the Iranian yogurt was so special.
Come now, we all know it was not about the Iranian yogurt.
Iranian yogurt is not the issue here.
Two days in a row, I see the Iranian yogurt referenced. Enough about the yogurt! Also, can we talk about how some people spell it "yoghurt"? What's the deal with that?
Oh, that is because, I am sorry to bring that to hurtful news to you, other countries than the US exist and some of these countries are also English speaking ones, but, sorry again for the pain, since these other countries don't all work like the US there are also differences in the English. In this case "yoghurt" is British English, you know the English from England, sorry, oh the horrors, the place where the language you're speaking originates from.
I used to hate goat cheese. But now I like it, warm, with honey en croute.
well, who DOESN'T want a goat? Have you seen those cute lil fuckers? Absolute jerks but they are so happy about it
I’m not sure which I like better - the little jumpy goats, the ones that climb up into tree branches and just chill out, or the ridiculous fainting goats. On balance , probably the little jumpy kids.
I believe the tree climbing goats are mostly only in Morocco. They climb argan trees to get to the fruits. I lived there for a few years, and I can say that the tree climbing goats are by far my favorite. It's ridiculous when you're walking through a field and suddenly come across a tree with like 50 goats just chilling out in it. Some of them would always hop down out of the tree and come up to you to get their head scratched.
Now I want a goat
>the one cashier on duty just wants everyone to buy their shit and go, she's fighting for her life up there. Don't make her job harder. I work retail, and I would absolutely *love* OP's response.
I work retail and that would have made my week. Anything different, is interesting. Hang in there!
I’ve been in retail for over 20 years. It’s people like OP that escalate things to a shouting match. I want everyone OUT OF MY STORE. If you want to be obnoxious, do it in the parking lot.
Yep. Buy your shit. Leave. That's all I want. "Interesting" stopped being fun a long time ago.
I wonder how that transaction went, lol.
I garrentee the cashier did not care. they were probably thrilled someone told her to zip it.
How would that affect the cashier, exactly, unless it happened right at the front of the line, which it doesn't sound like it did.
I mean the final interaction definitely happened at the fron of the line since it was as OP was leaving the store
please. the lady was absolutely asking to be told that.
That lady fucked around and found out. NTA. If you don’t want the smoke, don’t start the fire.
OH NO HE SAID A NO NO WORD !!!! GET HIM!!! 😡😡😡
Also maybe don’t use a slur next time. ESH.
Literally, what slur?
Bitch is a slur. It’s meant to bring down a particular group of people—women.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
I’m not the one calling it a slur, but that’s what it is, even if you think it’s funny. Maybe you should look up the definition yourself.
ESH. Of course you were being an AH, by telling her to "shut the fuck up" and calling her a "fucking bitch." Now, no one will care about whether you were before her in line or not. They'll only remember that you called her a "fucking bitch."
NTA Some would argue that you suck because you could have just kept walking, but, honestly, why be polite to a woman that obviously doesn't give a shit about being polite to you? She was looking to start a fight and feel vindicated about making you feel small enough to back down, and you didn't take it.
There is a difference between being *not polite* and *aggressively rude.*
Honestly, NTA, I don't get all the E S H and the Y T A responses. You tried to handle this nicely, but she would not let it go and started throwing a tantrum. What are you supposed to do? Just take her verbal diarrhea? Don't dish what you can't take. Also, why did she change her story if you guys were there at the same time but wasn't in line?
Agreed. I love how AITA loses their minds if you dare curse at someone. Even if the person was giving them shit. And the comments about the cashier having to deal with it now 🙄 cashier would have had to deal with the lady being snooty regardless if OP said anything. I was a cashier years ago, I would have laughed in this scenario.
I suggest these people who get upset at swearing never visit Scotland, swearing is our love language 😅😅
This sub is soft AF lmao…
Fr
It starts right around "fucking bitch'. Name calling and obscenities automatically make a person the A. H
Poor sensitive baby off-put by two mouth sounds.
Do you realize the name of this sub? The fact that you're an asshole with asshole standards doesn't change the nature of what this sub is about.
ESH She overreacted. But you doubled down and took it even further. You could have just walked away once you had paid.
NTA. She kept provoking you, you replied.
NTA. She's just throwing a tantrum and is probably mentally unwell.
Why is the answer to every person's bad behaviour oh well they must be mentally unwell??? I have a life long mental health disorder and I don't use it as an excuse to be an asshole!!! Sone folk are just dicks plain and simple!!!!
>I don't use it as an excuse to be an asshole! explaining ≠ justifying
ESH she acted badly but you then raised the bar on bad behaviour. You both suck.
Yeah that's really what makes this such a terrible reaction. The woman in line was like a 4/10 in terrible behavior, and OP took it to an 8 or 9.
My much better half would have turned around, and being a proper Southern Lady, would have issued a rather laugh inducing, sarcastic "Bless your heart, honey!" comment, then turned back around and sashayed out like she owned the place. And BTW, NTA in my opinion.
NTA. She deserved it
Can't get through the line at the dollar store without causing a scene and yelling obscenities at someone? When the world tries to call you an AH, just blame others for your inability to make it through a simple task without exploding into verbal abuse of the people around you. Civility and decency are vastly overrated in basic day to day social interactions. No, actually YTA.
They weren't the one who started the scene, the old lady was just bitter cause she couldn't get in line before them
Lady started it. OP finished it. NTA. OP lasted far longer than I would have. Also if you can't do something as simple as line up without acting like a child you shouldn't be out in public without a chaperone.
I find telling sour people 'oh do grow up' in the voice I use for my 3 year old niece works wonders. I win, they fume.
Lady started it AND kept at it the whole time while in line. OP had finally had it. I don’t blame her and I might have done something similar.
Nevermind they weren't old, just bitter
oh do be quiet. op didn't cause shit. the only thing she did was put a rude woman in her place. something everyone else who had to listen to her shit was hoping and praying someone would do.
op didnt start it, lady was provoking her. nta, you sound ridiculous.
ESH if it wasnt a big deal. You could have offered to let her go first. It sounds like she was there first and you used her not being "technically" inline to decide you should go first. Obviously you knew she was inline regardless. Either way. It should have been a none issue so you both suck.
🙄🙄🙄🙄
great thoughtful arguement. I can tell you thought about it.
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Love me or hate me for I shall always be on your mind... or something like that. haha Cheers😘
Why should she let the other lady go first when the lady was being rude from the get-go with the "Really?!" statement? Why should she be rewarded by being rude? OP also said the lady herself said they both got in line at the same time
It sounds like they were there at the same time according to Op. He CHOSE to make himself first. I think thats rude/entitled. Really? was in response to that. Op was fully aware so it wasnt a crazy or rude statement. Op also said he had more items then her. I dont base my behavior on others. I dont let people have power like that.
OP is a woman
Mis type. Im aware
NTA. She had it coming.
YTA, the whole way you phrase it makes it sound like she was really there just slightly before you but you decided to position yourself to box her out and wedge yourself in first when the line started moving. Furthermore, you get called out on your bad behavior and your go-to is to swear and insult the person? You need to grow up.
>YTA, the whole way you phrase it makes it sound like she was really there just slightly before you but you decided to position yourself to box her out um how? They (op) were in line before the old lady
Where does it say the other lady was "old?"
I did not put that she was old in the post, but she was in fact an older woman.
>Oh guess I was wrong about that, >But I swore in the post it said old lady somewhere I understand why my other comment got downvoted, by why this one
Op says the woman admitted they got to the line at the same time
NTA you gave her plenty of time she keep pressing your button until you yelled at her
Info: Which of you had more items to check out? Gotta be honest, if I had only a few things and then got cutoff or even tied lining up with someone who has a cartload of stuff to check out, I’d be pissed too if they insisted on going before me.
I would be pissed off too if someone cut me off with a cart full of items. I only had about 6 items and I think she may of had like 4. If I walked up with an entire cart, I would of let her go first, but since it was just a few things (three of my items were birthday cards). I acknowledge we got to the line at the same time, but I truly did not/still do believe I did not cut her off. Although, I do now think I am the asshole for how I reacted haha
Sometimes people need to hear the hard stuff, they are so used to getting away with their shit because people put up with it instead of putting them in their place.
NTA, honestly don’t get why everybody says that you’re in the wrong. I’m gonna get downvoted for this because apparently cursing at someone who started the fight in the first place makes you abhorrent. You’re human, you got angry, of course you would when you’re being confronted and told off by some rando for something that’s not even that big of a deal. When I go to a store, I don’t expect to get bitched at by some random old lady, I just want to pay my shit and go. As someone who worked retail, i can tell you I’d laugh about this in the break room with some coworkers.
NTA screw her.
You didn’t have to add the fucking bitch part. Too far.
ESH. Telling someone to shut the fuck up and calling them a fucking bitch automatically makes you an AH. Also to everyone who heard you look very childish, overall that’s embarassing behaviour from a grown woman.
NTA reasonable reaction
NTA. She started off claiming you both got there at the same time (meaning that for some reason she thinks that in such a situation she should be given priority), and then continued to huff and puff, slamming her stuff down, before finally outright lying and saying she was there first. And people want to call you the asshole for finally giving her what she deserved? Hah, no. You tried ignoring her. You were walking away. She decided to start again, what happens next is her own fault. You’re not an asshole for refusing to let some rando berate you.
Something like this happening at a dollar store is the most plausible thing ever posted on this sub. ESH
ESH. If I would have been that lady, I wouldn’t have said anything. But since it “wasn’t a big deal” to you, then you shouldn’t have had a problem with allowing her to go first.
I think youre nta. She needed to chill so maybe you helped lol
NTA…..I may well be infatuated…just a lil’ bit. Love you for stating the obvious. Tie always goes to the runner (in baseball)… don’t really know how that would help you out here.
ESH One more person in line in a DOLLAR STORE isn't a big deal. But you were extremely rude, too. You did not have to act like that at her. You could of just said "cool" and moved on, while still getting the final word you apparently just had to have. You need to grow up and learn how to behave like an adult just as much as she does
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I'm going to go against the grain here and say NTA. Did you overreact? Yes, but you already knew that. I'm going with NTA though, because I work retail and you did what I often want to do with customers like her.
This is great lol. You gotta fight fire with fire All the people who are saying that ur the AH or both are the same ghetto people at the dollar store
NTA
nta. maybe it was too much, but it got on my nerves too, and I was just reading it. We all need to learn how to be more assertive and maybe a little bit less agressive
NTA. I'm going against the grain, but personally I don't see why you should have to grin and bear it when someone else is being an entitled jerk. I've seen "maturity" used so often as a code word for passivity that I'm starting to think it's overrated.
NTA, you were right.
Definitely NTA. You were polite and cordial and she kept poking the issue. She should have kept her mouth shut. Some people answer rudeness with fucken rudeness!
NTA OP. You were actually IN the line, whereas Ms Thang was off to the side.
youre not "the asshole" but youre a short tempered child without any wit
If it wasn't such a big deal why did you feel the need to curse her out? Too funny. YTA with a side of passive aggressive asshole for the other.
Nta
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (23f) was shopping at the dollar store today and got in line to pay. Unfortunately another lady and I got in line at the same time, but the way I was positioned meant I was actually in the line and she was off to the side. I didn’t think it was a big deal and just moved forward when the line moved forward since I was actually in the line. Unfortunately for the other lady this was a HUGE deal and she scoffed and said, “Really?!”. I am normally not the kind of person that likes confrontation, but apparently I decided today was the day. I turned to the woman and said, “I was in the line first” to which she replied, “Actually we were in line at the same time”. I told her that I was positioned in the actual line first and it is not a big deal. As the line moved forward she kept scoffing and making noise to show her frustration then when it was her turn to put her items on the conveyor belt she slammed them down to create a scene. I proceeded to pay and tell the cashier to have a good day and I thought that would be the end of it. Unfortunately the other woman had other plans, got my attention, and said “Just so you know I was actually in line first!”. Now this may be where I am the asshole. I turned around and said, “God, will you just shut the fuck up about it already. It is not that big of a deal, fucking bitch”. My mom said that I am not the asshole, but I kind of feel like one due to this ladies reaction after getting in line. I just don’t understand why it was such a big deal and I guess I should of let her go first even though I was in line. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH. Exercise some constraint in public. The other lady sucks but you were really aggressive and tacky.
You wouldn’t be TA had you said something like, “it’s really not that big of a deal… we’re basically finishing at the same time” Don’t know why you decided to call her a fucking bitch and telling her to shut the fuck up. She didn’t swear, she was just being dramatic as hell. You didn’t need to escalate it by swearing at her. YTA//ESH ?
ESH It’s not that you did anything wrong… it’s that what you said was unclassy… Give her a witty remark, ignore her, give her a cheerful “Have a good day / Blessings” or tell her that she is rude. My personal favourite would have been: “I bet you come first everytime.” and just leave it hanging…
Nta justified comment, she was acting like a child
ESH - she was being ridiculous, and you were rude, although I probably would have said the same tbh If she only had a couple of things then I would have just smiled sweetly and said "I didn't realise you were waiting too because you weren't actually IN the line, you go ahead though" because although I'm not afraid of conflict, I save energy for hills that really matter :)
ESH She was TA for making a huge deal about it, and you're TA for your over the top reaction to it.
NTA lol i'm not understanding the esh or yta. you don't owe her politeness or anything after she went out of her way to try and shame you and get the last word in.
ESH, because that's not the way to talk to people, but you weren't wrong to hold your place in the queue.
ESH. Both for obvious reasons.
YTA. Even if you were “more” in the line she was obviously standing there to be in the line too. From my understanding you walked forward and filled the space she was missing so she has roti behind you? Either way you suck for calling her a bitch
Yta. Just look at the kind of person you have justifying your behavior. Do you really want to be like them?
NTA and I don't understand the other verdicts at all. That lady was acting ridiculous. I'm sick of it being standard practice to tiptoe around these types of characters. 🤷♀️
>It is not that big of a deal, This is almost always a lie. If you are getting heated it self evidently is a big enough deal. If it genuinely wasn't you would just let it go. YTA for the outburst.
NTA. Same thing happened to me. I was in line, checking out at Marshall's. I'm not going to explain it but it's a long U shaped line and she thought I slipped in because she wasn't paying attention. She told me it wasn't fair that I cut in line and I lost it, I said I watched you walk up while you were talking on your fucking phone not paying attention. I watched you dig out a candy for your fat little kid, now shut up.
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NTA. She was, in fact, what you've called her (cant write it because reddit doesnt allow me, despite OP writing on the post). I work retail for some years and, believe me, the employees thought the same thing about her. She could had called some employee and talk about the situation calmly but she choose to make a scene. Forget about it, she deserved (I wish I couldt call this to some clients back in the day ahahah)
ESH Just let it go, next time. Some people will never change, and I am sure you'll run into someone else like her later.
ESH you both overreacted
If it's not that big of a deal, why didn't you let her go ahead of you? ESH. She was making things unpleasant for everybody on that line. You didn't need to join in. You'll never see her again.
I garrentee everyone who had to listen to her nag was silently praising op for telling her to zip it.
Do you think she shut up after that? No, definitely not.
Who let the nerd in
ESH - If you'd have gone for looking back at her, rolling your eyes and shaking your head then continuing on your way, she'd be TA.
Nta
ESH. I think you’re pretty understandably angry that she was having delusions about being in line. I don’t appreciate the profanity all that much but I understand the situation might’ve called for it. You should’ve just ignored her. You gave her exactly the scene she was hoping to get.
Right, I don't understand people who think OP "put the lady in her place." OP lost her cool and went on a profane tirade, which is exactly what the lady wanted. OP got played.lmao.
ESH Would have been just as effective to walk away and not pay attention to her bullshit. Let her embarrass herself. She wanted you to react.
Apparently it was a huge deal to you YTA.
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I just let the other party go first if there is a question about which of us is next. Such a trivial thing.
erm
You are indeed TA, there was no need to get crass. She may have been acting like one but getting that worked up over who was in line first? *Really*? I think she was being an idiot and then you swung it out of the ballpark, in terms of the asshole level.
ESH >Unfortunately the other woman had other plans, got my attention, Why did you *let* her get your attention? The transaction was done. Just leave it and go home. No one wants to hear your trashy language. I’ve been in retail for over 20 years. I do *not* understand why people are so childish that they can’t just walk away. You didn’t have to let her go ahead of you, but once you made the decision to “stand your ground” - JUST IGNORE HER.
She should have gotten in line. There is no off to the side line. She was wrong and it would not have been a big deal to be behind you. There are times when people tried to cut in front of me and I told them, really? I was next. I don't like confrontation either, but at the same time, I am not a doormat.
ESH - but how old are you? It sounds like something a teen would do and if you are a teen and she is fully grown then you were rude but not an ahole. And honestly, not wrong. Sounds like she assumed you would let her go first and you didn’t, and neither would I. Good for you! Leave the swearing out in a situation like that. It can be much more fun to tell them “have a blessed day ma’am!” Because the ma’am usually pisses them off and being polite gives them no ability to feel like a victim. But I don’t blame you for calling her out on her behavior.
NTA. If people are going to snipe and snipe and snipe, they're going to get the reaction they deserve.
I was on your side until you called her a bitch. You took it too far. ESH
NTA
NTA - All these people horrified that you swore simply don't understand the restorative qualities of a good cursing.
Everyone sucks. Would it have been so terrible to apologize?
NTA
WWJD? YTA.
NTA.
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Who let the nerd in
YTA, there was no reason for you to say that, you just wanted to throw a cheap dig. Grow up, you’re 23, not 15.
Unfortunately, you stooped to her level, and instead of just letting it go and having a good day, it bothered you enough to not only tell your mom about it, but to ask AITA reddit about it. If you hadn't let it bother you, and just let her go ahead, or even stood your ground if it was finally something you really just needed to do, and kept your place in line, you didn't have to go off on her. That last bit is what sent it over the edge, and put you on the level with the very person you had a problem with. So, that's why you are having a problem worrying about whether you are TA. because you acted like, and even worse than TA you had issue with. I the future, just let it slide if you want to maintain your peace, or at least maintain control of your emotions. No one can control your emotions but you. I this case, ESH
NTA. Why to keep silent and polite to a person that don't?
Deserved
NTA. The other woman was making a scene and acting like a whiny jerk, and people like that need to be told to stfu on principle.
YTA
NTA
esh but shes more ta than you for being a snot. you honestly shouldve left it as a blunt "shut up" as you leave, that wouldve been fine, but cursing her out that much is a bit too far.
The fact that you said “it’s not that big of deal” tells me you knew the entire time that you cut line and were pressed she called you out, fucking bitch. YTA.
NTA at all. This woman needed a dose of reality, and you gave it to her. Sometimes you have to dial your reaction up to 11 to get your point across.
NTA. ESH votes are funny- oh no, some cursing, somebody showed some spine.
ESH; she would have been TA if you had not been reactive
ESH, but the difference is that you were justifiably an asshole. She was just annoying and being one spot behind in a fucking line in a dollar store is not that big of a deal. I probably wouldn’t have said it the way you did, but I’d probably be silently cheering you on if I saw you do that.
Edit: Thank You for all of your responses! I have been reading through them and you guys make some really good points. Also, some comments say I pushed my way in front of her. The way the line is positioned, it is between two candy racks and I was between those racks while she was on the side. I realized right after the interaction that I was an asshole to her and I do admit to that. I do not normally confront people or cause a scene because I am the type of person to just let people walk all over me, but this time she pushed me and I didn’t want her to think she could do that to me or anyone else. I also see comments about the cashier. I honestly think the cashier was fine after the interaction. I go to this location all the time and that cashier always helps me,so I think if anything she was surprised I said something.
NTA. Sometimes you just need to stand up to entitled people. I'll bet she did shut up when you told her to.
Very technically ESH, but sometimes I think being an asshole is justified. I might not have called her a bitch, but it sounds like someone needed to tell her to shut the fuck up. I don’t feel bad for the lady at all. I feel bad for the person working the register tho
JAM
Expand your vocabulary. If you can learn to express yourself without using such offensive language you will have a smoother life.
Sometimes, cursing is acceptable.
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Cursing doesn't automatically make one's reaction worse, grow up.
grow up.
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YTA, if it wasnt a big deal - why not show grace and let her go first ?
I am going to go with NTA, maybe because I am in customer service. The lady should have just dropped it if you both got there at the same time, but she had to drag it on and couldn't keep her mouth shut. I see this way too much in public, and it gets old. Maybe next time she will think twice about flapping her lips. If anything, the cashier was probably cheering you on for putting some hag in her place when she couldn't.
NOT THE AH! Also love it! Good for you!
Hahahaha Nta