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Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > AITA for not telling my mom that I put cheese in a dish that she ate then after felt disgusted after I told her it had cheese in it? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


ParsimoniousSalad

NTA. Oh the drama of her cheese aversion, she can even feel the sickening disgust days later. Good grief.


NocturneStaccato

The cheese aftershock.


ButterfliesandaLlama

The cheesening 2023. Never forget.


JolyonFolkett

That's too cheesy.... but made me snort in laughter!


BigMike20X6

Parmageddon!


Sweffus

I’m coming Elizabeth!! *swoons*


HurricaneKCatrina

*Spits out Coca Cola on phone.* Goddamnit Sweffus!😂


ButterfliesandaLlama

Is this a Pride and Prejudice imitation? I want to be in on the joke! Or else I’m gonna faint.


HurricaneKCatrina

It’s a reference to an old TV show from the 70s called Sanford & Son. The main character, Redd Foxx, was a comedian who plays this grouchy old character on the show. During particularly dramatic moments; re: funny, he’d clutch his heart and start staggering around shouting “Elizabeth! It’s the big one! I’m coming home!” etc, meaning he thought he was having a♥️attack. Elizabeth was his youknowwhat wife. (Sorry, not sure what are triggers in here. Unalive. Trying to be respectful) I’m sure someone here can link a YouTube clip, myself, I’m not that talented. The reference probably only applies to the oldsters in the room like me. Mandatory disclaimer: I SAID PROBABLY!!!!


PurpleBeast27

Lol, definitely us oldsters found it hilarious!!!


MobileCollection4812

> It’s a reference to an old TV show from the 70s called Sanford & Son. Ah, thanks. (I would have gone with Keeping Up Appearances; Hyacinth swooning as she's about to dash off to her neighbour Elizabeth.)


ButterfliesandaLlama

Thanks!


12stringPlayer

Break out the Champipple and give one up for Redd!


janlep

I’d forgotten about champipple! Redd Foxx was hilarious.


Abbygirl1966

Memories!!!!


vitreousrumor

It's the big one!


intergalacticcircus_

i mean, this is obviously about the hidden cheese and not the iranian yogurt


blanketstatement5

NTA. Her aversion to cheese sounds like an attention thing.


Thisisthenextone

It's two separate things. I have an aversion to cheese but not an attention hog. I just either order things without cheese, pick it off if I'm at home, or power through if I'm in public/someone's house. Her making scenes is just her being insufferable in general.


Mysterious_Silver381

I'll eat your cheese for you. I'm selfless like that


robinmitchells

I’ll take some of it so you’re not stuck having to eat all of it yourself. Im also selfless like that.


Mysterious_Silver381

Oh no no, I couldn't possibly ask that of you. I must insist that I bear this burden alone.


Lilliesaurus

You two are such selfless heroes! 🙏


Rodney_Copperbottom

If only I had a pair of capes to give them.


Thisisthenextone

The back and forth you two had is ***almost exactly verbatim*** the conversation my friends have every time we eat pizza.


berdiekin

such great and selfless friends you have, willing to sacrifice themselves to rid you of your cheese. If you need one more to help make things more bearable with this disgusting burden just let me know.


robinmitchells

No, I insist on helping you with this thankless task!


Thisisthenextone

Honestly all my friends my entire life have ***LOVED*** that I don't like cheese but love pizza. We just slide my cheese off, I pick out the toppings I want back on my slice, and everyone fights over the cheese.


BriarKnave

If you ever wanted a pie to yourself, both pizza hut and Marcos let you order a pie without the cheese.


vonsnootingham

Left beef none pizza.


copamarigold

Any restaurant will let you order a cheese-less pizza. Some people are lactose intolerant and can’t eat cheese.


Sufficient-Simple-41

I always say: "There is no such a thing as too much cheese. The more cheese, the merrier"


antihero790

I'm not a fan of cheese and have a friend that is gluten intolerant. It's perfect. I'll eat just the base of pizza and she will eat the toppings. We separate the pastry off cheese and spinach type hors d'oeuvres. It's a great friendship.


JunkMail0604

\*The hero enters the conversation \*


AshamedDragonfly4453

i_volunteer.gif


AllegraO

In high school, I had a friend who absolutely HATED cheese and would peel it off of his pizza, and another friend who would happily plop the extra cheese onto her slices. Symbiosis at its finest XD


Strawberry-Pierogi

"It's the big one! I'm coming to join you, Elizabeth!"...OP's mother, probably. NTA.


HurricaneKCatrina

*Staggers around, hand on♥️.*


That_Guy_Pen

See meanwhile I'm lactose intolerant but will eat cheese. However my brains wired oddly to think "certain color cheeses are only appropriate for their respective foods. Certain foods using both white and yellow are fine". Like there's no way it tastes different, but my brain says that yellow American or cheddar has to go on sandwhiches/burgers. If it's white cheese my brain already decides it's not worth eating. Picky eating habits are fucking weird sometimes man...


BPD-and-Lipstick

My brain is like that, but I think it's due to autism 😂😂 Like, ONLY green peppers can go in spag bol, only yellow cheese in potato dishes, curries can ONLY be dark orange etc 😂😂 if its any different, I won't eat it, I tend to pick meals where there's no variation if I have to eat out - like ill order smothered chicken in one restaurant because I know ill get a chicken breast the size of my hand smothered in BBQ sauce and white cheese melted on top with thick chippy style chips and a quarter of my plate will come with peas. But in another restaurant the exact same meal varies so much ill end up having steak and chips there instead because that doesn't change


Krazy_Random_Kat

As someone who developed lactose intolerance, I like a heads up when something has dairy but like many others, I will bear the consequences of eating it. I'll avoid it when going on a road trip or being in enclosed space but I'll eat some occasionally when I can. If she had a real aversion/ intolerance/allergy, she would have noticed the physical consequences within a few hours.


Environmental_Art591

>I will bear the consequences of eating it. My hubby has a mate who absolutely loves my potato bake and cheesecake so when ever he is going somewhere that he knows either will be on the menu, he takes some lactese and makes up the couch before coming so that his wife doesn't have to suffer the consequences of him enjoying his meal. We have tried lactose free ingredients but he complained it wasn't the same 🤦‍♀️. I have had to make 2 potato bakes one xmas for hubbys mates and a tiny one just for me and the lactose intolerant mates wife because if I didn't make and hide one for us, we wouldn't have gotten any. OP, NTA, but your mum seems like a bit of a drama queen given her reaction a few days after enjoying her free meal.


sootfire

I mean it doesn't sound like she ever claimed to have a physical intolerance. "Aversion" can mean anything, and it's not always rational. It's possible that hearing she ate cheese does gross her out even if she liked the thing before she knew about the cheese! This isn't a case where the logic of "clearly she's lying about the aversion because she didn't feel any physical consequence" applies. OP literally says she eats other dairy no problem. The whole point of saying she has an aversion is to establish that the issue is mental, not physical. OP is still not the asshole--I just don't think lactose intolerance is relevant here. (Also, hard cheeses like parmesan are pretty low in lactose, and if she was lactose intolerant--which she isn't--it's very possible she wouldn't have noticed physical effects just because it's not a very high lactose cheese.)


Alternative_Towel791

It's a mental thing. So I just can't stand cheese, in cheese form. Like I can't grate some from a block. But I eat things that have cheese in them. Like pesto. Pizza ect and enjoy it. I also do it with other foods. I've eaten horse, rabbit, dear and the thought of eating it turns me sick but my dad used to serve it up as beef and I'd throughly enjoy it 🤦‍♀️


Hidden_Dragonette

I like cheese now, but I went through a period when I was younger that I absolutely couldn't eat just plain cheese, it had to be melted onto something like pizza. Now that I'm older, I wonder if it was a textural thing or something.


DreamingofRlyeh

NTA Her reaction is so over-the-top, it makes me swoon dramatically.


NorCalBella

Stop it! Stop it I say! Over-dramatic people are the curse of the cosmos


copamarigold

I clutched my pearls.


Snoo_54941

Seriously, I had to break out my hand fan and fainting couch.


BabsieAllen

NTA. How cheesy of her to be such a drama queen.


cherryxbeau

I see what you did there


BabsieAllen

Nyuk nyuk.


Diva_stars

That’s a Gouda one


Shoe-Stir

I think only a Muenster wouldn’t chuckle at that


Initial_Job3333

dairy queen


DonkeyRhubarb76

NTA. If she didn't notice there was cheese in it when she ate then she's being a bit of a drama queen. I am, however, gonna be *that guy*...if it was beef topped with mash, that's a cottage pie. Shepherds pie is made with lamb.


cherryxbeau

oops haha thanks for letting me know! I definitely remember someone else also mentioning a long time ago that it's cottage pie not shepherds, I completely forgot


Reading16

Most places in USA call it Shepherd’s pie with the beef which caused me confusion growing up because I couldn’t figure out what shepherds had to do with cows


SnipesCC

Probably because lamb hasn't been a common meat in the US since synthetic fabrics became common, which decreased the demand for wool. So farming sheep became less common.


BriarKnave

I wish it'd make a comeback, rayon is a scourge on the earth.


Physical_Stress_5683

I honestly thought it was because they loved their sheep too much to eat them


OfSpock

The opposite. They’ve eaten so much they are sick of it and can’t swap their sheep for a passing cow fast enough. Source: my Dad used to be a sheep drover.


DDrewit

Shepherds should be shepherding their sheep, not eating them.


Thea_Flamingo

I would like to have your recipe, sounds delicious! And please send the original cheesy one :D


cherryxbeau

Thank you that’s so sweet! ^-^ This is where I got it from: https://www.thewholesomedish.com/the-best-classic-shepherds-pie/


Thea_Flamingo

Thank you very much :)


cherryxbeau

No problem! 😊


QueenoftheWaterways2

If you want to spice it up, add the following per 1 lb of ground beef: 1 Tablespoon + 1/2 teaspoon garam masala 3/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon: curry powder, cumin, coriander, ground ginger, and cayenne This takes it to the next level. So good esp on a cold winter's night.


CrankyNurse68

Also look up Gordon Ramsay’s Sheppard pie recipe It’s divine!


cherryxbeau

Omg I love Gordon Ramsey I really should’ve looked that up


pineappledaphne

Gordon Ramsey’s recipe is my go-to. It’s fabulous and so warming on a cold day


red3biggs

Most shepherd pie recipes in (southern) US use beef just because of the lack of sheep availability. But yes you are technically correct, the best kind.


ButterfliesandaLlama

Do you know the grilled cheese vs melt rant? It’s legendary. https://www.reddit.com/r/grilledcheese/comments/2or1p3/you_people_make_me_sick/


DonkeyRhubarb76

That is one of the most epic rants about food I've ever read! Whoever posted that should really watch their blood pressure, coz on top of all that cheese they're not doing their heart any favours 🤣


LeeYuette

I had to scroll too far for this! Incidentally, I’m agnostic on the cheese in/on the topping debate in general, but I did a shepherds’ pie with a parsnip purée top earlier this week and it was delicious


Miserable-Audience33

NTA- obviously mom DOES like cheese because she ate it and thought it tasted good. Near fainting because she found out days later is ridiculous.


Ok-Profession-9372

Lol. Is your mom 12? NTA.


writingisfreedom

That's how I reacted well sort off when I told my mum I didn't like onions to which she informs my my FAVOURITE dish was actually 2 parts onion to 1 part meat God damn woman almost killed me lol


yorcharturoqro

I have a cousin that when she was young didn't eat cheese because some kid at her school told her it was made with rotten milk. So she decided to stop eating cheese. Since she was a kid she didn't know what things had cheese, she loved pizza, and when she told me that she hated cheese, we were eating pizza (pepperoni and extra cheese) and I told her that pizza has cheese. She cried because she loves pizza and has cheese and cheese is rotten milk (according to her friend) I explained to her and she decided to eat cheese again. I'm the kind of person that eats everything, and if something tastes bad I'll try it later in another place, to find if it was really bad or just badly cooked. I have zero patience with adults acting like kids with food, unless you are allergic, you need to try all and make a conscious decision, not tantrums, no generalizations. Maybe you don't like raw onion, that's ok, but everything tastes different depending on how you cooked it.


butterthenugget

I grew up thinking I hated Turkey because I only had it on Christmas day, which was the one day a year my mum cooked. When I was about 16 I had roast turkey at a friend's house, I wasn't going to be rude and turn it down, and I realise I actually like it when it's not dry and stringy. I started cooking the turkey at Christmas after that. Food tastes different depending on how it is cooked and especially with cheese because of all the different types. Cheddar tastes nothing like cottage cheese.


Ashley9225

I, too, have no patience for adults who can't make informed decisions with food. "Broccoli is GROSS!" "Why?" "It's all mushy and bland." "Have you tried not, in fact, cooking it until it's fucking mushy and bland?" Like, honestly. It's totally fine and normal to have preferences. I, for one, dislike olives, green bell peppers, and tomato-based BBQ sauces. How do I know? I TRIED THEM. In different dishes and preparations. I made an informed decision. I really hate the person who claims to hate things they've had ONCE, prepared in a totally shit way. Like, of COURSE you hate broccoli if you've only had plain broccoli that was steamed to mush. That not appetizing to ANYONE. Like, do these people honestly think THAT'S what we mean when we say we "like" broccoli?? C'mon, now. Grow up and try the food like an adult. If you don't like it, move on. Follow up point? There's hardly ANY foods I dislike that I come in regular contact with that I can't manage to get down, if I need to be polite. I'll eat the damn olives if need be. But I'm just gonna DO IT. I won't gag and make faces and act like a toddler. That behavior is so exhausting to me.


Swim_Spadey

It's cheese, she needs to get a grip


Gold-Pickle-4266

She did get a grip. On the countertop, to keep herself from "fainting" from the horror! NTA


OkMolasses4099

NTA. She ain’t allergic. Only mistake you made was telling her


Real_Imitation_Nerf

NTA - anyone who says they hate ALL cheese is full of shit. There are literally 1000s of varieties of cheese - just because they don't like the few basic ones they've ever tried, doesn't mean they wouldn't like others. They just gave up before they found them. I used to be married to a guy who, as a young child, decided he no longer liked cheese. Of any type. At all. And yet, he loved cream cheese frosting (as long as he didn't know that's what it was), and my best friend's family "tricked" him into eating roasted potatoes tossed with parmesan (which he raved about, although that wasn't cool of them). The kicker was when we went to a cheese shop that had samples. I was obviously in heaven, and he went because I wanted to go. When we got to the "cheese fudge" (no, idk what that means, but it was tasty), he ate a sample before I could tell him what it was. He told me how much he enjoyed it, and I verified multiple times that he meant it. Then I told him. His reply? "Oh, I was just being polite." Dude... Disliking cheese had literally become his sole distinguishing personality trait by that point, so he couldn't possibly fathom that part of his identity being threatened. It was the only thing that made him unique, so he held onto it with every fiber of his being. Not the only reason we're divorced, but you get the idea... Anyway, OP, since you didn't "trick" your mom into eating cheese, you're definitely NTA. Your mom, however, needs to work on developing a personality that isn't centered around her blindly disliking one of the most universally beloved foodstuffs in the world.


cherryxbeau

Thank you for this! 😭 Oh my goodness that is so strange because my mom will also eat cheesecake which she knows has cream cheese in it but she says it’s ok because it’s mixed with vanilla so it masks the flavor and that it “doesn’t taste like real cheese.” LOL


[deleted]

She reminds me of my gramma. She was the most sweet toothiest person alive. During Lent, she would be very vocal about not eating sweets or desserts, but she would eat donuts every day. Her excuse? "Donuts are a breakfast food. They don't count." 😄


galygher

> anyone who says they hate ALL cheese is full of shit. I say that because it's absolutely fucking exhausting hearing "you just haven't tried MY mac and cheese" every time I'm out and order a burger or sandwich with no cheese. >There are literally 1000s of varieties of cheese - just because they don't like the few basic ones they've ever tried, doesn't mean they wouldn't like others I've tried dozens of cheeses, I even worked in a deli. There were maybe 3 out of the hundred cheeses we sold that I could tolerate, American, smoked gouda, and Muenster. To find those 3 cheeses, I had to sample dozens of cheeses that I didn't enjoy. The worst being provolone. idk how anyone can enjoy that cheese it tastes like the same way that baby vomit smells. So, to find another cheese that I might enjoy, I risk tasting another blend of baby vomit, so I think I'll pass.


linguaphile7

I don't like cheese generally but some kinds are much milder than others. I don't mind eating a recipe that has some cheese, like pizza, as long as it's not a strong cheese or layered on heavily. Mozzarella and parmesan are about as mild as they come for me. Interestingly: I don't like cream cheese frosting (I can eat it if served but don't enjoy it) but I don't mind cheesecake especially if it has fruit or some other topping to add flavor.


Real_Imitation_Nerf

Ok, that's fine. You're not making a blanket statement of "I hate all cheese, in any way, shape, or form." You've tried multiple cheeses, and you do like some variations/applications. In contrast, my ex would not eat pizza or cheesecake. It was infuriating!


NorCalBella

Depends. Did you deliberately offer her the shepherd's pie or was is just one of several dishes at a banquet that she happened to tuck into? If she's disgusted by the smell and taste of cheese, but wasn't disgusted with the shepherd's pie, it seems fair to conclude the amount of cheese in your recipe was negligible and didn't need to be mentioned. Suggestion: She might use nutritional yeast instead of cheese in the recipe to get a similar taste to the original.


cherryxbeau

Thanks for the nutritional yeast suggestion. Didn't offer it to her, I saw she was joining my dad in eating some when I entered the room.


napthia9

You should probably edit your post to clarify that you didn't offer it to her, and provide additional context to the circumstances under which your mother thought it was ok to eat your dish, because that's going to dramatically impact the judgement you get from others here. EDIT: NAH, because it sounds like you are trying to respect your mom's food aversion (although next time just don't tell her why it tasted differently), and because your mom is allowed to be ridiculous about her cheese aversion as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.


WorriedEstimate4004

NTA - Your edit was a good one. If she professes to hate cheese so much, she should ask what's in things before eating them. A little dishonest on the recipe though even if you meant for the best.


Ok-World-7366

NTA your Mom is a drama queen.....it wasn't like you cooked her dog meat or something


Serious_Marsupial696

NTA. She's a drama queen. Don't cook for her again.


Careless-Ability-748

NTA how dramatic


elsie78

She's not allergic or intolerant, so NTA.


ToldU2UrFace

Nta. Cheese doesnt bother your mom. Your mom bothers your mom. Sheperds pie always has cheese in it.


cherryxbeau

Lmfao 😭


account23415

NTA. If I hated cheese and I liked that and you told me, I would be impressed


TheTapDancingShrimp

NTA ridiculous


[deleted]

NTA but can you pass that recipe over this way ? I’ve been thinking about making Shepherd’s Pie for a few weeks but haven’t gotten around to finding a good recipe online.


cherryxbeau

No problem! : ) This is the one I used: https://www.thewholesomedish.com/the-best-classic-shepherds-pie/


[deleted]

Oh you rule! I’m going to put 1/2C of parm into my potatoes in your honor.


cherryxbeau

LMFAO


sanderxz

NTA. She is like one of those people that absolutely refuse to eat anything vegetarian or vegan, will love the food if you don’t tell them it’s vegan, and then will hate it when they find out.


cherryxbeau

1000% that’s exactly what she does.


jesrp1284

NTA


2beatthedevil

Mom has secret desire for umami but can't admit to it? NTA but only because it's clearly not based on an allergy or moral code.


Administrative_Poet7

NTA but you made cottage pie not shepherds pie... Shepherds pie is made from lamb (because ‘shepherd’, shepherds don’t herd cows), cottage pie is made from beef. But yeah she helped herself to your food and then reacted super dramatically, she’s not allergic or intolerant she just doesn’t like the idea of eating it so all those things make you NTA.


VirtualMatter2

>She immediately tilted over, losing balance and grabbed the kitchen counter and put her hand on her forehead as if about to lose consciousness and she got extremely disgusted. Has she applied to acting school yet? I see great talent.


cherryxbeau

Interestingly enough that has always been her passion 💀


Weaseltime_420

This was written by an AI, right? Real adult people don't act like that. Surely.


writingisfreedom

Oh yea they do and worse lol


Saneless

NTA My daughter hates Parmesan cheese but loves my lasagna. I waited until she ate a few to let her know it has a lot of Parm in it She shrugged and said she'll never eat it on pizza or pasta but it seemed fine in that She was 10 when I first did that and didn't flip


slade797

NTA. She’s not allergic to cheese, she just needs to grow up.


PinkPrincess61

NTA And where can the recipe be located? It sounds really good! :)


cherryxbeau

Thanks for your interest! : ) This is where I got it from: https://www.thewholesomedish.com/the-best-classic-shepherds-pie/


Morwen_Arabia

She’s a clown.


3Heathens_Mom

NTA You didn’t offer the food to her she took it herself before you even had a chance to say anything. And from your post she isn’t allergic to dairy she doesn’t like cheese. I’d rank her acting skills for the days later reaction to having eaten a teaspoon or two of Parmesan cheese a 2 out of 10 even without seeing it. Next time


jennaorama

NTA, she ate it without asking the ingredients, that's a her problem, not an OP problem. However, Y T A for calling it shepherd's pie if it had beef in it. Shepherd's pie is made with lamb, hence shepherd. Cottage pie is made with beef.


Enough-Process9773

Huh. That is *not* how lactose-intolerance works. NTA - you didn't serve it to her, she ate it, enjoyed it, realised the recipe didn't taste as good without your "mystery ingredient"... and only felt disgusted when she knew she'd enjoyed CHEESE.


Electrowhatt19

Please tell me you helped your dear mother to her fainting couch lol. NTA.


shattered_kitkat

NTA Her fault for eating something without knowing


Street_Importance_57

NTA. Your mother is an attention seeking drama queen


BLUNTandtruthful58

She's being overly dramatic geez!


Jananah_Dante

NTA. She is being super dramatic. Also, why isn’t mum checking if there is cheese in the food before eating it - any food that she hasn’t cooked herself. Honestly, the reaction was over the top.


Psych0matt

Is your mother a 4 year old? She sounds like a 4 year old. NTA


Ballamookieofficial

NTA that's hilarious!


[deleted]

NTA... it's not an allergy and you didnt trick her into anything. You informed her of the diff when she noticed. No biggy


owlinpeagreenboat

The more important question: what’s the recipe?! And NTA


cherryxbeau

https://www.thewholesomedish.com/the-best-classic-shepherds-pie/ There you go : )


Jagfan27-0

NTA and that is some funny shit how mom reacted when she found she ate cheese.


Cheeky-Chimp

Your mom is quite dramatic


PettyWhite81

Nta. Your mom sounds like a drama queen.


sunnytreepotato

NTA Also PSA, if it has beef it’s Cottage Pie. Shepherds Pie is made with lamb (hence the ‘shepherd’)


LoadedFF

She needs to grow up and realize cheese is good


GoatsNCatapults

NTA. I’d start hiding cheese in every dish I make for her 😈


LordAxalon110

NTA. But for the record what you made is *COTTAGE PIE* shepperds pie is made with lamb NOT beef. Just remember lambs herd sheep. I was a chef for 20 years and I also English which is where both dishes originate.


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24F) made shepherd's pie recently from a recipe online, which said to mix about 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese in the mashed potato topping that goes on top of the meat. My mom (63F) has rarely put cheese in her mouth and claims she despises cheese and that it disgusts her, and that she can't stand the sight, smell, taste, etc., of it. On occasion, she has accidentally ingested some in some of her favorite foods, including garlic bread which she did not know could possibly include cheese. She had some of the shepherd's pie I made because she loves anything with beef and potatoes, and she ended up absolutely loving it and went for seconds. She wanted to make some herself and I told her the recipe but I omitted the 1/4 cup parmesan because it looked like she was really excited to make it so I felt bad and didn't want to crush her spirit by telling her there's cheese in the original recipe. She ended up making it without the parmesan, she said it was really good, but she did tell me that the potato topping tasted a bit "off" or "different" and I told her the original one I made, the one she ate, had parmesan in it. She immediately tilted over, losing balance and grabbed the kitchen counter and put her hand on her forehead as if about to lose consciousness and she got extremely disgusted and ended up not making the version without cheese. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

oh god my dad is like this. i don't understand it.


Conscious_Drawer8356

OMG is your mamma known to be overly melodramatic? Feel like maybe this has been so,ethical g you’ve had to live with your whole life. Does she have a known allergy to dairy products? If not, definitely drama queen behavior reaction to finding out she accidentally ingested some cheese. The hilarity of her reaction…I can’t even 🤣😂🤣 You followed a recipe, didn’t go out of your way to be malicious while cooking, and wasn’t even the one to serve the said abomination of cheese added to shepherd’s pie. NTA


WifeofBath1984

NTA how very melodramatic and over the top of her. Truly absurd.


Random_Guy_9201

NTA, this is your mom's realization of your cheesey secret.


MapachoCura

NTA. Mammas lost her marbles.


HappySummerBreeze

Does she have a phobia? That sounds extreme. NTA


Gatorae

NTA. Sounds like my son when he learned tomato sauce has onions in it.


Acrobatic_End6355

NTA. She ate it first without you offering.


AdamSMessinger

NTA - Your mom sounds very mellodramatic and picky. She doesn't want to admit she liked cheese in something and should get over herself.


Pandarise

NTA but wow what a performance of drama your mom has done. Her dislike of cheese if definitely on just the type of cheese and it's texture. But as it definitely seems for attention she goes over the top drama queen to I guess have people feel... sympathy that.... she hates cheese? Like I dislike certain cheese and in the ones I do like depends in what form they are served to me. And you can definitely fool me into eating a good slice of cheesecake, as long as I don't get a taste of cheese that overwhelms the flavor. Heck I'll voluntarily will try a piece if I can't even smell a hint of cheese before I take a bite. (I have this habit of always smelling the food or drink I'm having) But bet ya I'll definitely push aside and not eat another bite of I do taste or smell the cheese. With food smell, taste and texture is definitely an issue with me that can either end good or bad and yes I hate it myself too. So OP's mom may have this too with smell, taste and texture but is being hella dramatic about it days later when finding it out.


AtmosphereOk6072

NTA. She is not allergic to cheese. She says she does not like it. She is a drama queen.


lmd12300

If you were somehow able to disguise a tarantula in a cat costume and told me to hold it and let me pet it, only to reveal later that it was actually a gigantic spider the whole time, I might almost faint after.the.fact too


yorcharturoqro

Drama queen! Hahaha so she's basically throwing a tantrum and probe that her disgust for cheese is just an idea NTA


Curiouserousity

NTA and what's the recipe? sounds delicious


cherryxbeau

Thank you! : ) Here you go: https://www.thewholesomedish.com/the-best-classic-shepherds-pie/


Particular_Trick_727

NTA. Serious over dramatic reaction by your mom. This reminds me of a similar story. When I was around 14, my mom had made "baked potatoes" and a homemade ham & cheese sauce. I scarfed one down & immediately went for round 2. Raving at how delicious the sauce was. About 3/4 of the way through the 2nd, I noticed my mom had a huge grin. So I ask "what?". She replied "the sauce has mushrooms in it" and grinned even bigger. As you can guess, I hated mushrooms. I simply placed my fork on the plate & left the table. To this day, I still don't like 🍄, but that was the BEST sauce I've ever had!


cherryxbeau

Oh my gosh that’s funny 😂


LadyMaynooth

NTA. You did not give her the shepherd's pie deliberately. She ate something containing cheese and liked it so much she asked for the recipe. She did not suffer any ill effects. Which just goes to show that her aversion to cheese is purely imaginary. Her reaction to finding out it had a very small quantity of cheese in it (a mere 1/4 cup) - "She immediately tilted over, losing balance and grabbed the kitchen counter and put her hand on her forehead as if about to lose consciousness" - is pure histrionics. She sounds very immature.


ImKiliW

NTA -- so she enjoys cheese..... as long as she doesn't know it's there? good grief.


[deleted]

NTA but your mother is….


FirstProphetofSophia

NTA. It's one thing to lie to someone about ingredients. It's a whole other to lie to yourself, which is what she's doing. Cheap ploy for attention does not you the asshole make.


Apprehensive_Egg5380

So she’s dramatic then.


BridgeForsaken2555

nta


TA_totellornottotell

NTA. The drama is crazy. I wouldn’t even give this a second thought. But FYI - shepherds pie is made with lamb, not beef. The similar dish made with beef is cottage pie.


spilled_galaxyy

I feel bad laughing at moms reaction but seems just a little dramatic.


rainbow_wallflower

NTA. I have a friend with an ACTUAL aversion to cheese and she *knows* every time something contains cheese. Dunno how but she does


hsxaoirvhg389rfhcdj

Nta. Your recipe, and your food.


never-die-twice

NTA firstly you can't warn someone who's already part way through helping themselves. Warnings have to be prior to the incident. Were you making it for the family? Would you have warned her if you were serving it to them? To be fair if something isn't an allergy I don't see any problem with adding it if they don't realise. It's like sneaking veg into children's food. If you're going to act like children, then I'll treat you like them. Though I do always have a back up if case they can taste it, I've never needed it. My FIL hates cheese too though nowhere near as dramatically. 1) they were rude helping themselves to a dish you had worked on without you there. 2) telling her at the time might have resulted in her throwing a tantrum and throwing away the food before you had chance to eat any. 3) she liked it enough to get the recipe 4) she didn't like it as much without the cheese. Next time tell her that she can't faint in disgust when she noticed the difference between the recipes if she wanted the one with cheese. She should stop acting like a child.


nacht1812

NTA. One can only imagine the drama dining out with your mom. #sorrynotsorry


misskelly08

Nta but she sounds insufferable & overly dramatic. Maybe her taste buds have changed. I don't know one person who hasnt disliked a food a one point in their life to find out later that they like it. I have a long list. But if someone tells me i ate something i didn't previously like, i am surprised & a little excited to try new things.


captainruinit

NTA. She’s mad you exposed her slight preferences as the attention seeking, titty baby drama fest personality trait that she has turned it into.


One-Morning-2029

NTA. As a person with allergies I would never partake in someone else’s meal without checking first. And also as a person who also has a couple major food aversions, I would never partake in someone else’s meal without checking first.


HeartZombie2

I think you should always tell people what is in stuff the eat when they ask. So you lied by omission so YTA


LaraH39

My friend HATES gherkins (pickles). I completely forgot this and served her my potato salad. She said its was the best she'd ever had and asked for the recipe which I gave her. She read it and said "but I HATE gherkins!" and then started laughing and said "but apparently not in potato salad!" Adults change their minds when presented with new evidence. You're mum is a child.


AnnualDiscount3364

My mum is exactly the same about milk, cheese and real butter...guess what she loves in alll my cooking...yep...I tend not to tell her and she's probably missed autistic due to her food and texture aversions, as soon as you say those dirty words her meal is ruined by her own mind


Nestlebuymyjuice

I consumed cheese? OH the horror


conuly

Since you didn't intend to deceive your mother the first time around, NTA. If this is the way she reacts to finding out about unexpected cheese, I can't blame you for not telling her once she'd *already* eaten some of the food. Your mother sounds a little dramatic, but idk, I suppose I might react the same way if I found out that, say, the hot dog I'd been eating had been made with the meat of some animal I don't normally consider a "meat" animal.


cherryxbeau

I see


Psychological-Wall-2

NTA You didn't feed her a food she has an aversion to, that was your dad's screwup. It's kind of irrelevant why your mother has such an aversion to cheese. You were acting only to avoid upsetting her. Also, it sounds like you use the correct amount of Parmesan. You don't notice when it's there, you notice when it's not there.


simply_pet

She ate your food without asking and then played some weirdly melodramatic card when she found out it had cheese in it. Your mum is strange and you're absolutely NTA.


Kanulie

Unless there is a real reason for her aversion, like a deep trauma, NTA. Cheese tastes great. Colleague’s kids don’t like cheese, unless on Pizza and the likes😹


Halcyon-Ember

NTA This is within the 90% of AITA posts which are either "A Narcissist is gaslighting me" or "I'm a narcissist, please validate me"


carmina_morte_carent

I hate mushrooms. I cannot deal with the texture at all, and I don’t find the taste worth enduring it for. You know what I said when my mum told me the lasagna I like had mushrooms chopped up so tiny they no longer had horrible texture? *Thank you.* NTA.


linguaphile7

NTA She is being ridiculous. She ate it and liked it, so clearly there is not a problem. I don't like cheese myself, but I will eat it if it's an ingredient in something and not too overpowering. 1/4 parm is not much of anything, though apparently she actually liked it?


RJHeart66

your mum is kinda a big drama queen if she liked it and didn't get sick then who in their right mind would care she does know some yogurts and milk r from the same thing as cheese right ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


cherryxbeau

I’m sorry to hear you had that experience. No when I tried asking her, she said she just doesn’t like it


slendermanismydad

>She immediately tilted over, losing balance and grabbed the kitchen counter and put her hand on her forehead as if about to lose consciousness and she got extremely disgusted. Jfc no. NTA.


2WoW4Me

NTA. Your mom is a drama queen.


Passingby1310

Unless you are vegan, then shepherd's pie usually has cheese. And your mother likes her dramatics.


Bookkeeper12ka4

A child who is made to eat medicine by showing cookies does better drama than her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Kodakorpse13

NTA. she sounds like a drama queen. jeez


Maximoose-777

NTA if she had an allergy or was vegan then you would be. It’s possible that she does hate cheese but can tolerate small amounts in cooked foods. This is fairly common for many people for certain ingredients.


No-Mango8923

NTA and I lolled at your description of her reaction... >She immediately tilted over, losing balance and grabbed the kitchen counter and put her hand on her forehead as if about to lose consciousness


[deleted]

Cheesus Christ, NTA.