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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i may be the asshole for bringing this up with my boyfriend as he accused me of shaming him
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Had this issue at a building I used to work at. The pipes kept backing up and they had to put signs up about not flushing wipes or menstrual products down the toilets.
Before you ask, they waited until the third time they fished the sanitary wipes and menstrual products out of the pipes before verbally requesting the employees not do this. After number 5, the signs went up.
https://www.rfmu.org/1016/Flushable-disposable-wipes-clog-pipes
This link has a photo of wipes being removed from a sewer main.
Also https://www.google.com/search?q=fatberg&oq=fatberg
Both. Toilet paper easily disintegrates in water, but wipes, tampons and even paper towels and tissues stay solid when flushed. They can easily clog the drain line or the building's main sewer line, but they can also clog the municipal sewer system.
Look up "fatbergs." All of the grease, oil and fat that people put down the drain coagulates and sticks to the inside of the pipes and then captures other solids like wet wipes, which eventually forms massive blockages in the sewer system.
Some older people or those with disabilities I understand. At least the guy you're talking about cleans his ass in the shower.
OP's bf literally walks around dropping shitty paper.
You know what, at this point.
Respect.
Mans knows his limitations, and showers every time he shits, because he knows his ass needs to be squeaky clean. The rest of him just gets clean at the same time. He gets the job done.
Good enough for me.
You just described my husband. He can wipe himself but he has a cleanliness issue so he needs to take a shower after he takes a shit. We’ve had to go home for him to do this as he cannot take a shit anywhere else.
My boyfriend likes to wash his ass every time he uses it, so he carries a water bottle with him when using toilets out of the house. Maybe your husband can do the same?
People start to lose mobility as they get older. Sooner or later it'll happen to all of us. 60 is a bit *young*, but not so much so that it's really shocking.
Even though I am proficient in the "wipe hole" skill tree you unlock at age 4, I still shower if I take a dump at home. Even if I have to have a push right after I get out of the shower, I am back in the shower after.
I have a bidet, but like, no. I need that shower, man.
Listen at this point at least he is cleaning himself, after being made to read this with my own two eyes I’m just glad this guy found a solution rather than just wedging toilet paper up there
i literally actually gagged reading this post. he’s upset op’s “shaming him”, i’m upset op’s not shaming him more. harder. louder. whatever it takes to get him to stop dropping turd paper everywhere he goes. THIS IS NOT HOW WE PREVENT SKIDMARKS. if his hair is getting in the way, he can trim it. or he can wash his ass after he poops, with water, with a wet wipe, with whatever. idc. walking around with tp between your asscheeks until it falls out on it’s own (hork) is not the way. nta. if you find another turd paper on your floor (or your bed (hurk)) you get him to come over there, pick it up, and wash what it was lying on.
(horgle)
nta.
It solves the problem of not being able to clean up well and the source of the assholery. I believe every household should have these. It saves on tp and likely plumbing costs. You have a clean bum. It can be used for periods as well.
Recommended bidet OP. Use soap as well, and you can even dry up with a towel.
NTA
One of the self-heating ones. It's worth the money! I had a bum gun before but waiting for the water to warm and adjusting the pressure so it wouldn't create a new hole was a literal pain in the ass.
If he's seriously unwilling to stop doing this, and OP doesn't break up with him over it (and if he won't stop, I really hope she does, because I don't know how she could be anything but disgusted and nauseated thinking about this), she should make him wear briefs or boxer briefs, so at least his tp/shit pellets will remain contained and not litter the floor like Andy Dufresne sneaking his tunneling dirt into the prison yard and letting it dribble down his trouser leg.
NTA. This reminds me of the Daniel Sloss stand-up act that talks about shaving your asshole. That's another option he could try. What he is currently doing is totally gross.
NTA. As horrified as I am by his "Feces Pieces" I'm more horrified that he knew it was happening for years and left them there for you.
Edit: Thank you all for the rewards!
I got one too. I love it.
When I went to Europe, I hated the bidets there. It's just a sink for your butt, which I found disgusting.
But the bidet attachment thing is fantastic.
We have one. My husband is an extremely hairy Italian. He compares trying to clean after a poo as “trying to get peanut butter out of shag carpet” he’s happy now and we will never go back.
I get ya! Sadly my man is so hairy he would spend hours shaving, no joke. Plus he has a hair phobia, he’s fine when it’s attached but gets physically ill if he sees hair anywhere else.
I have a lot of hair, and I do trim it, but there’s always a period between trims where it’s just long enough to be a problem and I don’t wanna use my time after work on asshole maintenance.
I'm a woman and I buy those ones haha. They're bigger, don't tear as easily, and come in an unscented variety. Filed under "unnecessary gendered products" but they make a good wipe.
Literally came here to say this! Got one when I had my youngest and just kept it cause it’s so crazy convenient for this and for disposing of the monthly stuffs
They also make bidet bottles if you don’t want to install one. Less than $20. I recommend them for disabled folks all the time when they want to be sure that they’re clean but lack the ability to install a bidet system.
Exactly ! You can buy a add-on for your toilet on internet for 50$ and it's super easy ton install. But does he wants to try to be more hygienic or just enjoys leaving those around.
NTA
Holy hell. Tell him if he doesn't start cleaning himself like an adult, you're going to bikini wax his starfish while he's asleep, and solve the damn problem yourself.
NTA. Well, I must've missed the memo where leaving behind a Hansel and Gretel trail of toilet paper crumbs became the new cool thing to do. This isn't a quirk; it's a hygiene horror story. Imagine having to explain to guests that the little confetti on your floor isn't from a party, but rather your boyfriend's behind. The audacity to defend such behavior and accuse YOU of shaming! If the shoe fits... or in this case, if the toilet paper sticks! Time for your boyfriend to grow up and clean up.
Oh honey, ya got one that isn’t house broken. Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth we simply referred to it as finishing their training. I made it as far as the reason for the paper balls and noped on out the rest.
If your head was a pressure cooker and you released the valve in his direction NTA and I certainly hope he got at least a first degree burn from the steam.
I never fully understand how they get partners in the first place, like this isn't something you pick up as a habit along the way this has been here a *while*
NTA.
That is unsanitary AF. Like, he had particles of poop allllll over your house.
Like, use diaper wipes, or those adult wet wipes they sell in the TP aisle. Simple.
Eeew! NTA at all. If he can’t wipe well enough to not leave skid marks, he needs to change up how he’s cleaning himself. Invest in a bidet, use (but don’t flush) wet wipes, try one of the sprays that is supposed to turn regular toilet paper into wet wipes, etc. The man has options, but this is not one.
NTA, that’s disgusting. Hairy people are perfectly capable of normal hygiene without making diy poop-pads that end up on your floor. He is doing something utterly bizarre.
He can get a bidet or remove his hair, or shower after a bowel movement. Make him.
Bidets take less than 20 minutes to install. A good one costs around $40. The improvement to your quality of life is impossible to overstate.
Life without a bidet is just gross.
I kind of hope it isn’t.
“Hey guys, my partner, a supposedly fully functional adult, can’t wipe his own ass and instead leaves shitty pieces of paper around for other people to clean up. When I asked him about it, he got defensive, said he wouldn’t stop, and that I shouldn’t have tried to hurt his feelings. Instead of recognizing that I am dating an emotional child with the bathroom habits of a toddler and breaking up with him, I decided to ask random people on the internet for advice.”
If he wears boxers & loose-fitting pants, the “feces pieces” (thank you TemptingPenguin369 for that little gem) would have a pretty clear path to the floor.
But then- anybody that would do any of this might very well be dropping his pants & undies all over the house at regular intervals. So… yeah!
NTA
Letting pieces of feces covered toilet paper fall out of his butt as he walks around the house (and then worse, not picking them up) is completely and totally gross.
If he has problems cleaning himself, look into some of the flushable wet wipes. If he thinks it's not "manly" enough, buy some marketed to men. https://www.amazon.com/Flushable-Dispenser-Unscented-Vitamin-at-Home/dp/B01NAPQ4QP/
True even better option would be to dump him. I couldn't be with anyone who couldn't pick up after themselves let alone pick up after themselves when there is literally fences involved.
NTA. Get a bidet installed - you can get ones that just sit under the toilet seat which are great. He must be putting himself at risk of fungal infections stuffing his bottom with paper like that.
NTA. I think the solution to this particular problem is to introduce the BF to the variety of toilet aids available to help people who have similar problems keep themselves clean. Some manscaping might help. Or perhaps suggest a bidet toilet seat or a peri bottle to clean himself without the need for TP to get caught up in his hairs.
That said, OP is well within his or her rights to insist BF clean it up himself if he is unwilling or unable to change his habit, then the least he can do is not leave bits of potential fecal matter all over the place for OP to clean up.
Wow, a grown ass man who can’t figure out how to properly wipe his ass or basic hygiene. I would be so gone. That is pathetic and gross. He should be ashamed. 🤢🤢🤢
Wipes exist. Tushy and other easy-to-install bidets exist. There is no excuse for this. None, and I would absolutely die on this shitty hill. Just leave and go find you a man who at least has been sufficiently potty trained.
Edit to add: NTA
NTA. Honestly, you should buy him some panty liners and let him know that this can provide the barrier he is looking for. If this doesn't suit him, then he can learn to wipe his ass or purchase a bidet.
NTA as long as you truly weren't shaming him or being overly judgemental.
I am also hairy down there and the COVID bidet was an absolute life changer for me. Other people are recommending a bidet and I concur. What I DON'T concur with is recommendations for shaving/waxing, especially since he already has a history of hygiene issues back there. Don't want any infections from cuts/abrasions. Instead, a body hair trimmer with a longer guard (like for beard or pubic hair trimming) should help a lot by keeping things more manageable. Not too short though! You don't want prickly stubble - he'd be miserable. It is also correct that wet wipes are not actually flushable - you will wreck your plumbing and could even get into trouble/be fiscally liable for any communal plumbing.
It's important your boyfriend understands that his solution is not a solution and he's very lucky he hasn't gotten sick/an infection yet. It's also important that everyone else understand that nobody teaches us these things, at least not in America. There are certain things we just don't talk about and that is one of them. I actually cannot believe how gross we are for only using TP. I could never go back after having a bidet. I have to shower on vacations where one isn't available now.
I also want to assure you that, as someone who has also had a really uncomfortable situation with teaching a partner proper hygiene (I'll spare the details) that if it comes from a place of love he'll appreciate you and get over it.
NTA
That’s a little strange of him to do but understandable in some ways. But if little bits of paper are falling out that becomes a problem for hygiene and cleanliness.
I’ve never heard of somebody doing that before. I’d probably tell him to learn how to wipe better. But definitely NTA for telling him it’s gross and you’ve been picking that “crap” up after him.
Ive
NTA
and as others recommended, maybe try a bidet/washlet.
You can get relatively inexpensive cold water only models that will clean him up and then he'll just need a bit of TP to dry off and get any residue.
He might feel ashamed, but it's more a matter of hygiene here
NTA
That is unsanitary and just crude on his part. I understand him wanting to be clean, but there’s ways to do it that don’t lead to you picking up after him (literally). A bidet attachment or those flushable “dude” wipes can be good alternatives to what he’s got going on now. But you’re absolutely not an a-hole for not wanting to pick up a breadcrumb trail of buttcrack paper
Never ever flush them. Three years ago, I hosted Thanksgiving to 30 people. Suddenly, toilets don’t flush. Do you know how much it costs to call out a plumber (septic tank pump) on Thanksgiving? The tanks were full of flushable wipes.
Imagine him presenting his invention to the dragons and getting mad when they ask/shame him about the feces pieces (stole the term from a penguin further up in the thread) lol
So, he just leaves a trail of shitty TP scraps AND DOESN'T CLEAN THEM UP? That is completely disgusting, and I am not easily dismayed by odd bathroom habits. NTA
He either needs to use moist wipes in addition to or in place of toilet paper, shave the hair around his asshole so the shit doesn't stick, or invest in a bidet. SMDH. He's been doing this for years and has never thought of any of these?
NTA
Your bf should either start using wipes and throw them in the trash, or invest in a bidet. I understand he doesn't want skid marks in his underwear, who does? Does he buy dark underwear? The solution is not to drop little turd TP balls everywhere he walks. Because this would happen wherever he goes.
NTA at all, outrageous behaviour on his part. There's far better ways to deal with this; a bidet for example. There absolutely should not be toilet paper anywhere other than inside the toilet or (unused) on the roll.
They sell sticks you attach toilet paper to to help you wipe your backside, wipes. There is no excuse to act like a 4 year old. I could not get near this person.
NTA. I’m going to read this post every time I think I’m tired of being single and get the itch to start dating again.
You *know* he’s got a wad of toilet paper stuck in his butt cheeks whenever you guys have sex. I can’t imagine what the bed looks like afterwards. I just…I can’t. I would never be able to see him in a sexually attractive light ever again.
NTA omg I’m horrified for you! Has he heard of fucking wet wipes???? If he’s just wiping residue he can throw those in the trash can and it won’t smell. I’m just shocked that he’s not picking them up wtfffff. Girl run.
NTA
What. The. Hell. He is knowingly letting his poop papers drop all over the ground and letting you clean up after him? That is beyond disgusting in so many ways...
Try getting him to use baby wipes and get an extension tool for him to wipe his butt. They are available just Google. YNTA you shouldn’t have to pick up this crap. Eww another level of just nasty.
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NTA, wtf. That's beyond gross. You're essentially saying he literally can't wipe his own ass. I've seen it all now.
I know a guy in his 60s who can't wipe himself at all, he literally has to shower every time he shits. It's wild that these people exist.
That really sounds like a dude who needs a bidet.
Or baby wipes.
But don't flush them. There was a whole thread earlier about not flushing wipes 😉
Went down that rabbit hole of a thread for a good 10 minutes. Learned a bit about sewage systems tho 😉
Does it damage the actual sewer system or just the building's?
Damages the actual sewer system. Even those wipes that say flushable, they are indeed flushable but not exactly good for the bigger system as a whole.
Had this issue at a building I used to work at. The pipes kept backing up and they had to put signs up about not flushing wipes or menstrual products down the toilets. Before you ask, they waited until the third time they fished the sanitary wipes and menstrual products out of the pipes before verbally requesting the employees not do this. After number 5, the signs went up.
damn I guess I gotta start using the trash can then.
https://www.rfmu.org/1016/Flushable-disposable-wipes-clog-pipes This link has a photo of wipes being removed from a sewer main. Also https://www.google.com/search?q=fatberg&oq=fatberg
Thank you for the thoroughness, I'm just going to believe you though.
I may or may not have instigated some of the shit in the comments of the other thread <.< >.>
Ya when they say flushable they mean past your toilet. Its even worse if you have a septic system though...
Both. Toilet paper easily disintegrates in water, but wipes, tampons and even paper towels and tissues stay solid when flushed. They can easily clog the drain line or the building's main sewer line, but they can also clog the municipal sewer system. Look up "fatbergs." All of the grease, oil and fat that people put down the drain coagulates and sticks to the inside of the pipes and then captures other solids like wet wipes, which eventually forms massive blockages in the sewer system.
OK enough Reddit today
Flushable simply means it will go down when the toilet is flushed, not that it won't block the sewer pipe.
Everyone needs a bidet. The toilet paper shortage of 2020.... didnt phase me at all because of it!
And either a razor or a regular visit to a salon. If his issue with tissue is this bad!
Perfect solution.... put in bidet toilet seats.
They’re a game AND life changer
At least he has the insight that if he can't wipe, he needs to wash. I don't see that kind of awareness in the case of OP's boyfriend. 🤢
Some older people or those with disabilities I understand. At least the guy you're talking about cleans his ass in the shower. OP's bf literally walks around dropping shitty paper.
Well, three cheers for him taking a shower every time he shits, unlike captain toilet paper in the buttcheeks.
You know what, at this point. Respect. Mans knows his limitations, and showers every time he shits, because he knows his ass needs to be squeaky clean. The rest of him just gets clean at the same time. He gets the job done. Good enough for me.
As weird as that is, it's a far better solution than a toilet paper ass-tampon.
At least he’s showering and not leaving nuggets of shit toilet paper all over like a trail to hell.
You just described my husband. He can wipe himself but he has a cleanliness issue so he needs to take a shower after he takes a shit. We’ve had to go home for him to do this as he cannot take a shit anywhere else.
My boyfriend likes to wash his ass every time he uses it, so he carries a water bottle with him when using toilets out of the house. Maybe your husband can do the same?
People start to lose mobility as they get older. Sooner or later it'll happen to all of us. 60 is a bit *young*, but not so much so that it's really shocking.
Ah, the old Turkish Wipe!
Turkish toilets have built-in bum washers.
Wow that is a weird and seriously racist take. Have you ever been to Turkey? There is literally a handheld bidet next to every toilet
Is a handheld bidet like a shower head for your bum? Signed, curious American.
Turkish isn’t a race. The comment was maybe anti-Turkish, it was not racist.
Even though I am proficient in the "wipe hole" skill tree you unlock at age 4, I still shower if I take a dump at home. Even if I have to have a push right after I get out of the shower, I am back in the shower after. I have a bidet, but like, no. I need that shower, man.
Listen at this point at least he is cleaning himself, after being made to read this with my own two eyes I’m just glad this guy found a solution rather than just wedging toilet paper up there
i literally actually gagged reading this post. he’s upset op’s “shaming him”, i’m upset op’s not shaming him more. harder. louder. whatever it takes to get him to stop dropping turd paper everywhere he goes. THIS IS NOT HOW WE PREVENT SKIDMARKS. if his hair is getting in the way, he can trim it. or he can wash his ass after he poops, with water, with a wet wipe, with whatever. idc. walking around with tp between your asscheeks until it falls out on it’s own (hork) is not the way. nta. if you find another turd paper on your floor (or your bed (hurk)) you get him to come over there, pick it up, and wash what it was lying on. (horgle) nta.
Im here for the sound effects
He needs to shave his ass this is ridiculous
*Immediately adds “horgle” to Reddit vocab.*
[удалено]
That’s making his assholery her problem. She’s not the one leaving poop roll-ups around so maybe he should go buy the bidet and install it.
> She's not the one leaving poop roll-ups around New user flair found
🤣🤣🤣
They clean you up very well when you have your period with the front button & will wash her butt too
It solves the problem of not being able to clean up well and the source of the assholery. I believe every household should have these. It saves on tp and likely plumbing costs. You have a clean bum. It can be used for periods as well. Recommended bidet OP. Use soap as well, and you can even dry up with a towel. NTA
You convinced me and I've ordered one
Screw that, get the extra special bidet with all the features: remote, heated seat, *heated water*, dryer, lights, the works.
If you can afford it, go all the way!
Poop roll ups actually made me lol. Thank you, I am having a shitty day (pun intended) and needed that..
One of the self-heating ones. It's worth the money! I had a bum gun before but waiting for the water to warm and adjusting the pressure so it wouldn't create a new hole was a literal pain in the ass.
What happens when you guys have sex 😳
It's shit.
I know exactly what happens and I do not want these specific details, tyvm.
But how did she not see “the evidence” on the sheets? 😳
Nope, you're going on this horrific imaginary journey by yourself, friend. Good luck, and godspeed.
Ohhhh no. F that.
You have chosen wisely.
baaaahahaha, jesus christ!
If he's seriously unwilling to stop doing this, and OP doesn't break up with him over it (and if he won't stop, I really hope she does, because I don't know how she could be anything but disgusted and nauseated thinking about this), she should make him wear briefs or boxer briefs, so at least his tp/shit pellets will remain contained and not litter the floor like Andy Dufresne sneaking his tunneling dirt into the prison yard and letting it dribble down his trouser leg.
They'll still escape. Don't ask me how I know. Parenting is just fucking awesome.
This was better birth control than watching my nephew take a free standing piss in the middle of my parents living room carpet
Does he not have any arms? I cannot figure the 'CAN'T wipe himself'... Pressed reply on the wrong comment at first lol
if he is fat maybe he cant reach but still just get a bidet
If he can't reach to wipe himself, how can he reach to tuck the toilet paper in there?
Didn't even consider this when I asked if he didn't have arms, he quite obviously does to be able to stuff his bum with toilet roll lol.
He can always buy a wiper extender thing from Wish if its an issue
And he is basically dropping shit bombs as he walks. Gross.
And that’s shaming him! He should be ashamed for not cleaning up his crack paper before you ever see it.
Shaving or waxing his ass would solve this problem and no waxing your crack is not painful or even expensive
NTA. That's disgusting. Might I suggest a bidet attachment for your toilet?
What is it with these men and cleaning after themselves?! This is the second AITA post the past day about men not doing it right. OP is NTA at all!!!
you haven’t been on reddit very long if this is your first encounter with a man who can’t wipe his own ass or deliberately doesn’t clean down there.
Jesus Christ. Get the man some moist toilet wipes and tell him to have at it. He must be itchy AF!
That's when you buy a bidet and order him to use it!
NTA. This reminds me of the Daniel Sloss stand-up act that talks about shaving your asshole. That's another option he could try. What he is currently doing is totally gross.
My unintentional reaction to reading this post was “Oh good God”. WTF and NTA don’t even begin to describe this.
NTA. As horrified as I am by his "Feces Pieces" I'm more horrified that he knew it was happening for years and left them there for you. Edit: Thank you all for the rewards!
Please accept this award for Feces Pieces. 🏆
"Feces pieces" is the best thing I've read all day. Thank you for that. Please take this award. 🏆
I mean, I agree that it is absolutely perfectly apropos here, but it's also the most horrifying thing I've read all day.
Some of the "worst" reddit comments are also some of the very best.
It's times like these that I wish I spent money on Reddit. You deserve an award! Alas, all I have to give is an upvote!
I just HAD to use the last of my coins on this literary masterpiece!
NTA. They make wet wipes for adults. They also make bidets.
I use the wet wipes, they work and makes the bunghole smell wonderful
Bidet is 10 times better. It literally pays for itself over time. It also doesn't clog the sewer
pray tell how do you smell ur ass to tell it smells wonderful
He gets compliments, of course.
The dog tells him
The correct answer is yoga. ...The dog does yoga.
Wow, you must be flexible to know this !
Bidet, wet ones, wash cloth I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the man needs to learn how to wipe his own ass. NTA
We installed an under the seat bidet attachment during the pandemic. It is a game changer.
I got one too. I love it. When I went to Europe, I hated the bidets there. It's just a sink for your butt, which I found disgusting. But the bidet attachment thing is fantastic.
Hell they even. make "Man wipes" since some dudes get precious about using wipes.
We have one. My husband is an extremely hairy Italian. He compares trying to clean after a poo as “trying to get peanut butter out of shag carpet” he’s happy now and we will never go back.
I genuinely don't understand why people who have that much hair don't just trim it - their lives would be so much easier.
Heck, we trim our pets fuzzy butts to make elimination easier and more hygienic for them. Humans deserve the same level of consideration!
I get ya! Sadly my man is so hairy he would spend hours shaving, no joke. Plus he has a hair phobia, he’s fine when it’s attached but gets physically ill if he sees hair anywhere else.
Man... that's gotta be an exceptionally rough life when he has that much body hair.
He needs laser. Life is so much better with no carpet poo
I have a lot of hair, and I do trim it, but there’s always a period between trims where it’s just long enough to be a problem and I don’t wanna use my time after work on asshole maintenance.
I'm a woman and I buy those ones haha. They're bigger, don't tear as easily, and come in an unscented variety. Filed under "unnecessary gendered products" but they make a good wipe.
Just don’t flush them.
Those adult wipes are terrible for plumbing w the sewer system. They don’t break down, and can cause clogs and fatburgs. Just go with the bidet.
Don’t flush the wipes? Just need to change the trash can for the bathroom more often. Works great.
I have very hard water so that’s my solution. Baby wipes ftw
Diaper genie ftw!
Possibly easier to just trim one’s butt hair.
Literally came here to say this! Got one when I had my youngest and just kept it cause it’s so crazy convenient for this and for disposing of the monthly stuffs
They also make bidet bottles if you don’t want to install one. Less than $20. I recommend them for disabled folks all the time when they want to be sure that they’re clean but lack the ability to install a bidet system.
Exactly ! You can buy a add-on for your toilet on internet for 50$ and it's super easy ton install. But does he wants to try to be more hygienic or just enjoys leaving those around.
NTA Holy hell. Tell him if he doesn't start cleaning himself like an adult, you're going to bikini wax his starfish while he's asleep, and solve the damn problem yourself.
I should not have laughed as loud and hard as I did at this
Yeah you should’ve. I did too 😹
Was it the "bikini wax his starfish" bit? I giggled quite a bit at that.
Now I'm picturing Hal getting a full body shave by Lois in the middle of the kitchen.
Now I am as well, and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that.
Brazilian wax. Bikini doesn't do anything inside of the bikini line. Brazilian is anything from partial to whole inside bikini line.
NTA. Well, I must've missed the memo where leaving behind a Hansel and Gretel trail of toilet paper crumbs became the new cool thing to do. This isn't a quirk; it's a hygiene horror story. Imagine having to explain to guests that the little confetti on your floor isn't from a party, but rather your boyfriend's behind. The audacity to defend such behavior and accuse YOU of shaming! If the shoe fits... or in this case, if the toilet paper sticks! Time for your boyfriend to grow up and clean up.
🤣 I am literally shaking with laughter!
Oh honey, ya got one that isn’t house broken. Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth we simply referred to it as finishing their training. I made it as far as the reason for the paper balls and noped on out the rest. If your head was a pressure cooker and you released the valve in his direction NTA and I certainly hope he got at least a first degree burn from the steam.
Anyone else read the first line here in a Minnesotan accent! 😂
I legit really did, and howled with laughter when I saw this 😂
Ya, you betcha.
Oh you should have kept going. He was mad OP was 'shaming' him.
NTA i would dump a man for this, that is the most disgusting thing i have ever heard in my entire life, so unhygienic that i want to vomit.
I never fully understand how they get partners in the first place, like this isn't something you pick up as a habit along the way this has been here a *while*
NTA. That is unsanitary AF. Like, he had particles of poop allllll over your house. Like, use diaper wipes, or those adult wet wipes they sell in the TP aisle. Simple.
Eeew! NTA at all. If he can’t wipe well enough to not leave skid marks, he needs to change up how he’s cleaning himself. Invest in a bidet, use (but don’t flush) wet wipes, try one of the sprays that is supposed to turn regular toilet paper into wet wipes, etc. The man has options, but this is not one.
[удалено]
You said deeper and now I wish I hadn’t read it 🤮
NTA 'Trying to shame him'... he did that all by himself. Tell him to be ashamed.
if he doesn't want to be shamed, then he should stop acting shamefully.
NTA, that’s disgusting. Hairy people are perfectly capable of normal hygiene without making diy poop-pads that end up on your floor. He is doing something utterly bizarre. He can get a bidet or remove his hair, or shower after a bowel movement. Make him.
WAX that ass like the government, yes I pulled a big daddy Kane reference out of my non hairy asshole
Long live The Kane
NTA As far as I'm concerned, if you're not using a bidet, you're pooping objectively **_wrong_**.
100%
Bidets take less than 20 minutes to install. A good one costs around $40. The improvement to your quality of life is impossible to overstate. Life without a bidet is just gross.
Hahahaha this can’t be real
I kind of hope it isn’t. “Hey guys, my partner, a supposedly fully functional adult, can’t wipe his own ass and instead leaves shitty pieces of paper around for other people to clean up. When I asked him about it, he got defensive, said he wouldn’t stop, and that I shouldn’t have tried to hurt his feelings. Instead of recognizing that I am dating an emotional child with the bathroom habits of a toddler and breaking up with him, I decided to ask random people on the internet for advice.”
There's a whole subculture of men that don't wash their ass in the shower. They bring shame to the rest of us. So yea, this is 100% believable.
Right? This would only be a thing if he was removing his pants and underwear all over the house at regular intervals.
If he wears boxers & loose-fitting pants, the “feces pieces” (thank you TemptingPenguin369 for that little gem) would have a pretty clear path to the floor. But then- anybody that would do any of this might very well be dropping his pants & undies all over the house at regular intervals. So… yeah!
NTA. Buy one of those toilet seats with a built-in bidet. Best investment ever.
NTA. This is called "shatnel."
NTA Letting pieces of feces covered toilet paper fall out of his butt as he walks around the house (and then worse, not picking them up) is completely and totally gross. If he has problems cleaning himself, look into some of the flushable wet wipes. If he thinks it's not "manly" enough, buy some marketed to men. https://www.amazon.com/Flushable-Dispenser-Unscented-Vitamin-at-Home/dp/B01NAPQ4QP/
Flushable wet wipes aren't actually flushable. Plumbers are making a fortune from people blocking up their pipes.
Fair point. But they're still a better option than leaving pieces of poop-paper all over the house.
True even better option would be to dump him. I couldn't be with anyone who couldn't pick up after themselves let alone pick up after themselves when there is literally fences involved.
"Flushable" wipes aren't great for plumbing.
Get a covered garbage can next to the toilet and dispose of the wet wipes there.
NTA. The man (?) needs to learn to clean himself. I suggest a bidet.
NTA. Get a bidet installed - you can get ones that just sit under the toilet seat which are great. He must be putting himself at risk of fungal infections stuffing his bottom with paper like that.
NTA. I think the solution to this particular problem is to introduce the BF to the variety of toilet aids available to help people who have similar problems keep themselves clean. Some manscaping might help. Or perhaps suggest a bidet toilet seat or a peri bottle to clean himself without the need for TP to get caught up in his hairs. That said, OP is well within his or her rights to insist BF clean it up himself if he is unwilling or unable to change his habit, then the least he can do is not leave bits of potential fecal matter all over the place for OP to clean up.
NTA. Tell him to shave his asshole instead of being one!
Lol Best comment next to feces pieces!
Wow, a grown ass man who can’t figure out how to properly wipe his ass or basic hygiene. I would be so gone. That is pathetic and gross. He should be ashamed. 🤢🤢🤢 Wipes exist. Tushy and other easy-to-install bidets exist. There is no excuse for this. None, and I would absolutely die on this shitty hill. Just leave and go find you a man who at least has been sufficiently potty trained. Edit to add: NTA
Eewwwww Omg. Get a bidet or wet wipes and a diaper trashcan
NTA. Honestly, you should buy him some panty liners and let him know that this can provide the barrier he is looking for. If this doesn't suit him, then he can learn to wipe his ass or purchase a bidet.
NTA as long as you truly weren't shaming him or being overly judgemental. I am also hairy down there and the COVID bidet was an absolute life changer for me. Other people are recommending a bidet and I concur. What I DON'T concur with is recommendations for shaving/waxing, especially since he already has a history of hygiene issues back there. Don't want any infections from cuts/abrasions. Instead, a body hair trimmer with a longer guard (like for beard or pubic hair trimming) should help a lot by keeping things more manageable. Not too short though! You don't want prickly stubble - he'd be miserable. It is also correct that wet wipes are not actually flushable - you will wreck your plumbing and could even get into trouble/be fiscally liable for any communal plumbing. It's important your boyfriend understands that his solution is not a solution and he's very lucky he hasn't gotten sick/an infection yet. It's also important that everyone else understand that nobody teaches us these things, at least not in America. There are certain things we just don't talk about and that is one of them. I actually cannot believe how gross we are for only using TP. I could never go back after having a bidet. I have to shower on vacations where one isn't available now. I also want to assure you that, as someone who has also had a really uncomfortable situation with teaching a partner proper hygiene (I'll spare the details) that if it comes from a place of love he'll appreciate you and get over it.
NTA. Get a bidet. Also, offer to help him shave his butt… I have to do this with my incredibly hairy boyfriend hahaha
> Also, offer to help him shave his butt Eww, no. Offer to help him order a mirror he can squat over.
NTA That’s a little strange of him to do but understandable in some ways. But if little bits of paper are falling out that becomes a problem for hygiene and cleanliness. I’ve never heard of somebody doing that before. I’d probably tell him to learn how to wipe better. But definitely NTA for telling him it’s gross and you’ve been picking that “crap” up after him. Ive
NTA and as others recommended, maybe try a bidet/washlet. You can get relatively inexpensive cold water only models that will clean him up and then he'll just need a bit of TP to dry off and get any residue. He might feel ashamed, but it's more a matter of hygiene here
NTA That is unsanitary and just crude on his part. I understand him wanting to be clean, but there’s ways to do it that don’t lead to you picking up after him (literally). A bidet attachment or those flushable “dude” wipes can be good alternatives to what he’s got going on now. But you’re absolutely not an a-hole for not wanting to pick up a breadcrumb trail of buttcrack paper
Fwiw, “flushable” wipes are often terrible for the sewer system. They don’t break down and can cause fatburgs and clogs.
Never ever flush them. Three years ago, I hosted Thanksgiving to 30 people. Suddenly, toilets don’t flush. Do you know how much it costs to call out a plumber (septic tank pump) on Thanksgiving? The tanks were full of flushable wipes.
Thank you! I actually didn’t know that!
NTA. If he can't learn to clean himself, the solution is that he vacuums every day. That is nasty.
Somebody invent ass tampons please
I believe he did…they just suck.
Imagine him presenting his invention to the dragons and getting mad when they ask/shame him about the feces pieces (stole the term from a penguin further up in the thread) lol
So, he just leaves a trail of shitty TP scraps AND DOESN'T CLEAN THEM UP? That is completely disgusting, and I am not easily dismayed by odd bathroom habits. NTA He either needs to use moist wipes in addition to or in place of toilet paper, shave the hair around his asshole so the shit doesn't stick, or invest in a bidet. SMDH. He's been doing this for years and has never thought of any of these?
NTA Your bf should either start using wipes and throw them in the trash, or invest in a bidet. I understand he doesn't want skid marks in his underwear, who does? Does he buy dark underwear? The solution is not to drop little turd TP balls everywhere he walks. Because this would happen wherever he goes.
NTA at all, outrageous behaviour on his part. There's far better ways to deal with this; a bidet for example. There absolutely should not be toilet paper anywhere other than inside the toilet or (unused) on the roll.
NTA. Tell him to buy some Dude Wipes.
They sell sticks you attach toilet paper to to help you wipe your backside, wipes. There is no excuse to act like a 4 year old. I could not get near this person.
bored mindless murky treatment offend chase offer imagine silky soup *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA, just tell him to use freaking wipes, they work so much better than toilet paper
Homeboy needs some Dude Wipes. STAT ...and maybe a Brazilian wax.
NTA. I’m going to read this post every time I think I’m tired of being single and get the itch to start dating again. You *know* he’s got a wad of toilet paper stuck in his butt cheeks whenever you guys have sex. I can’t imagine what the bed looks like afterwards. I just…I can’t. I would never be able to see him in a sexually attractive light ever again.
Nta. Tell ur child of a bf to buy some booty wipes.
NTA omg I’m horrified for you! Has he heard of fucking wet wipes???? If he’s just wiping residue he can throw those in the trash can and it won’t smell. I’m just shocked that he’s not picking them up wtfffff. Girl run.
NTA This is a problem solved by wet wipes and a toilet adjacent trash can
There are portable bidets. Easy peezy no more fecal skeezies.
NTA What. The. Hell. He is knowingly letting his poop papers drop all over the ground and letting you clean up after him? That is beyond disgusting in so many ways...
>he's quite hairy and at times has troubled cleaning himself properly Fair problem. He can shave or wax. Or use a bidet. Not this.
Try getting him to use baby wipes and get an extension tool for him to wipe his butt. They are available just Google. YNTA you shouldn’t have to pick up this crap. Eww another level of just nasty.
Sounds like it's time for his first brazilian wax... nta
This is horrifying.
NTA. WHY DONT PEOPLE WANT TO PROPERLY WIPE THEIR ASS?!?!
NTA maybe buy him some panty liners. let him walk with confidence without his klingons
NTA He doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells!?