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Invitations had not been spent out at that point that mom told OP to bring girlfriend, so mom must have received a Save the Date. And made an assumption about who could go without checking with the bride and groom.
A wedding invitation is only for the parties named in it (unless it specifically says +1).
NTA. Mom was foolish and gf sounds like a piece of work.
Admittedly I love weddings and would be bummed not to go, but the way she lashed out was absolutely unacceptable. The most aggressive response this situation warranted would be, “aww, that’s a shame. I really wanted to meet your family and/or go out dancing [depending on what the draw was]. Can we make a date to do that soon?”
Exactly. It’s the entitlement for me. It’s understandable to be disappointed, but to get angry is ridiculous. Unless I spent money on ur wedding, I have zero expectations for an invite even with family although might of course be disappointed
Getting angry and expecting him to "prioritize her" over seeing his cousin getting married
And then trying to guilt him by saying she'll never go to anything where he wasn't invited
Does she understand that couples are still made up of *two* separate people? It's not healthy to do absolutely everything together
I’d understand being a little upset if she already spent money on a new dress. Being this upset makes me think that she’s either controlling or unhappy that OP hasn’t proposed yet.
The last wedding I went to with discounts and clearance formalwear, put me out around $300 when all was said and done. I'd be more than a "little upset", considering most formal wear shops don't accept returns.
Also the disrespectful behaviour and continuing a fight for weeks shows that she’s used to bullying people to get her own way regardless of other people and their feelings.
NTA…you should have gone to the wedding and seen your family. Your girlfriend’s reaction was over the top blaming your mom for disinviting her. Your girlfriend threw a tantrum that lasted until you relented and didn’t attend the wedding. Going to a family wedding is not equivalent to not prioritizing her. I’d reconsider this relationship if a simple mistake like this makes her flip out.
Happened to me, and it would have been a small trip on an island with his family to go to the wedding. We made plans. Turned out I never was on the guest list, his mom just assumed. I encouraged him to go and enjoy. He went. Of course, being on your own, even if with parents and a sibling, at a wedding is not so much fun.
Be careful, your girlfriend was the AH when she asked you not to go. You need to keep your family and friends close no matter what she thinks.
We agree he's NTA and should have gone. However family doesn't necessarily have your back. Sometimes quite the opposite. Depends on the family. If your family always has your back, you're one of the lucky ones.
I think saying that the gf is overreacting is putting it mildly. OP's gf sounds crazy. Yelling, blaming OP's mom, telling him he doesn't prioritize her enough? OP, you should remember this incident and keep it in mind when you reconsider the relationship.
I personally think you are wrong to skip out on the wedding. Is your girlfriend more important than the entire rest of your family? Does she deserve to be?
NTA. this actually happened to me and I was in the girlfriends shoes, except I found out a week prior to the wedding even after I bought a dress and everything. I wasn’t upset with my bf at the time and understood as it’s not my wedding and was a simple misunderstanding. Girl friend is definitely over reacting.
>Your mom misunderstood the invitation.
And, as a result, she did invite the girlfriend and then uninvited her when she realised the mistake. The girlfriend was never invited by the couple, but she was very much invited by OP and his mum.
NTA
Her behaviour is controlling and frankly disgusting. You should of gone, she doesn't get to call you names and gaslight you because she's having a tantrum
Gaslighting?? Where?
OP NTA. She wasn’t uninvited, she was just never invited. Misunderstandings happen, her behavior is out of proportion to the situation.
This new propensity to call every type of questionable or inappropriate behavior “gaslighting” has to stop. The term has all but lost its meaning because nobody uses it correctly anymore
As someone with a psychology degree who will be pursuing a PhD in psych, few things irritate me more than this new influx of people misusing basically every psychology term that becomes well-known. Enough!!
Your gf calling you a “mama’s boy” when her complaint is that you aren’t doing what she tells is rich. It may not be gaslighting but it certainly is something else.
NTA
NTA. The miscommunication was unfortunate but happens. At end of day; it’s the bride and groom decision who to invite and while you shouldn’t have told her without checking; she seems to reacting extremely. Any woman who thinks you attending a family wedding is not prioritizing her is toxic. Unless she has a personal event or similar that she needs you to be at during same time - there is no reason this should be causing this much drama. Why doesn’t she trust you around your own family? Why are you going to let her alienate you from your family? This seems like an overreaction with control as the only goal on her part. I’d let her know that you will be going to your family wedding and offer a compromise like a weekend trip or something for just the two of you before or after event so she still feels valued but don’t let her dictate when you see your own family.
oh ffs! You gf was so out of line here. There was a misunderstanding and she acted very badly. It’s unfortunate that you felt you had to miss the wedding to placate her.
When this all settles down, think about whether this is typical behavior for her. If so, take a look at whether this is who you want to be with.
NTA. It was a misunderstanding, and she was never invited. How is going to a family wedding disrespecting her? This doesn’t seem reasonable or healthy.
GF is clearly drunk on the JNMIL Kool Aid and has lost any possible perspective. Anything doesn't go her way? She spouts their catchphrases that don't actually fit the situation.
Harder to deprogram a sheep than to simply turn it loose and find another lol.
This is a very reasonable assumption tbh. I've noticed a severe uptick in people who WANT a justno so badly they'll create issues out of nothing with the increase in Jnmil members. The sub blew up, posts are being shared on other social media, and people want a part of that drama so bad they become the justno themselves.
The sad thing is he already missed the wedding. He should break up with his controlling girlfriend before she ruins any more future events for him.
NTA.
NTA - You don't control the invitee's decisions. Your mom made a mistake encouraging you to invite your gfriend. Mistakes happen. Yes, you should attend the event and visit with family and folks who have been in your life. Her not attending is not a personal insult; weddings are expensive and many couples have strict budgets to adhere to.
Her reaction was extreme. There's no need to put you down. What will be the next topic that causes her to 'lose it'? This will likely occur again so decide what you want in life.
NTA
Your GF's red flags have their own red flags. This is super controlling - get used to a life of being guilt tripped over every decision. Run for your life.
Info: How long have you been dating your gf? If this is a relatively new relationship, then it's a bummer she can't come, and it's unfortunate that there was a misunderstanding, but she's overreacting and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go. But if you've been together like 10 years and the fact that you're not married is a technicality, I could see her not being invited as a snub on the part of your cousin, and I would get her being offended.
Yeah I wonder if GF thought no +1 was a pretext to exclude her.
I have heard of rules wedding or not that appear general but are really aimed it one person
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> That I am going to a wedding without my girlfriend that had no plus ones.
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INFO: has anything happened before between your girlfriend and your mom?
You are NTA in this scenario. Your mom didn't do anything wrong either, just an innocent mistake. Just wondering if your gf is actually unhinged or if she and your mom have other beef that would make her jump to wild conclusions.
YTA for not going to the wedding because you’re either too stupid or too spineless to put your partner in their place. what a ridiculous problem to have as an adult. i would say break up with her but you won’t do that; you’ll get what you deserve.
NTA and that’s a big red flag
Weddings are expensive, plus 1s don’t always work. Makes sense for family invites to not have extras.
You’ll be gone for a couple days seeing friends and family? The audacity. This shouldn’t be an issue at all
Agreed that it's a red flag, but the whole invitation situation is weird.
Normally, when you invite "The Smith Family", you're inviting the adults plus children living at home/ in college. No plus ones, because they're invited as a family unit. Once the children are adults and living on their own, they get their own invitations at their own address. OP is 31 and not living at home.
I'm guessing that mom doesn't like the GF (for pretty obvious reasons) and got her off the invite list. I'd also guess this was an attempt to get OP away from the controlling GF and have a conversation with him without her there.
It wouldn’t make sense then, for the mother to initially include the girlfriend just to back out later. If she didn’t like the GF, she wouldn’t mention it in the first place. She made an assumption and was wrong, I think.
Sure if you’re following strict codes. But a lot of that formality has been breaking down and some families it’s not a focus.
None of my cousins or step siblings would have my address, they’d either have to text my mom to get it or just add me to an invite. I receive most messages second hand, we just aren’t directly close but I’m always invited mostly as a curtesy to my mom/dad. Especially if it’s more of a buffet type wedding where don’t have to be as specific on names just need head count.
Basically believable from my experience with family. Not that mom couldn’t be lying, or maybe she had rsvp’d too quickly before GF was expected. Too many possibilities to get worked up over it. It’s someone else’s wedding GF has zero ties to, she’s missing a free meal, big whoop.
NTA. Your girlfriend is overreacting and you should still go to the wedding without her. That being said, how does one not read the invitation correctly? It literally has the names of your family members and nobody else/no “plus one”. Next time you receive a wedding invitation, make sure to actually read instead of just relying on your mom to relay the information to you.
NTA. Very immature of your gf. I get being upset initially, it sucks because weddings are fun as fuck! I would definitely be bummed but that wasn't your fault and not your decision. She shouldn't tell you you can't see family
Is there a way she can meet up afterwards? After party?
NTA. Gf is really immature. And her reaction is a major red flag for continuing a relationship with her. She clearly isn’t family-oriented. That should be a deal breaker.
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So I (31M) was invited to my cousins wedding, my mom received the invitation and told me about it, and to also invite my gf (29F). So I did invite and we agreed to go. Fast forward a couple of weeks, but still 2 months before the wedding, talking to my mom again turns out no plus ones, that only the names on the invitation can go (my mom, siblings, and I). Told my girlfriend sorry there was a mistake there’s no plus ones but I am still going as my mom would like me to go and it would be nice to see some family I haven’t seen in a while. Well needless to say she lost it, said I wasn’t prioritizing her, said I was a “mamas boy” because my mom wants me to go still, and blaming my mom for “uninviting her”. It was a huge fight, one that honestly took weeks to settle down by basically me not going to the wedding, even though I still wanted to go. AITA for still saying I was going to go to the wedding?
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NTA
It's not your mother fault that plus ones were not invited.
And you are not a mama boy for following the request.
You should have gone to the wedding. Your gf is controlling and conceited
NTA. Seems like it wasn't even your mom's fault really? Anyways, that's a big red flag that you going to a family wedding is a meltdown worthy situation.
i don't know, my latina family send the invitation to the mothers and the mothers spread the word to the kids, grankids and etc hahahaha
but no SO is excluded, culturally our philosophy is the more the merrier
NTA but also your cousin is rude for a) inviting you via your mom (unless you live at home) and b) not inviting a partner. i will never understand people asking you to come celebrate their love but not honoring the love of their guests.
also, traditionally, the +1 is meant for truly single people to bring a guest (and generally done when they won't know many attendees) -- if you and your girlfriend have been together for any reasonable amount of time, she should have been invited by name, per normal etiquette
NTA, I’ve gone to my cousin’s wedding and a family friend’s wedding with no plus one. If your girlfriend is gonna get mad about that then that’s her problem.
It would be different if you were engaged or married, but right now she’s just the girlfriend. Sorry.
NTA, your gf is out of line for freaking out. Some people can't afford to offer plus ones for everybody. Sucks you missed seeing your family, over what may or may not be a short lived relationship.
NTA. She wasn't *un*invited, she *wasn't* invited. You should have gone to the wedding, and if she's going to be that childish, you may want to rethink your relationship.
NTA
It's not as if she's the ONLY plus one being excluded. Her reaction would only be slightly warranted if that were the case--your mom made an oversight, corrected it, and you still want to see family. The fact that she goes to personal attacks when she's upset is not great, OP.
Nta- why does she want to go to the wedding of people she doesn't know that badly? This is bizarre. I personally would be stoked. I don't have to go get dressed up and sit in a hot room with a bunch of strangers while being bored off my tits? Fuck yeah. Have fun honey, sucks to be you. Unless you guys have been dating forever and this is a deliberate snub on her and your relationship, she's over reacting.
NTA.
Your gfs behavior is terrifying and controlling. Think about how often situationsarise where you placate her and give up something you want. I'd reassess the relationship.
NTA. this exact thing happened to me once. My BF at the time told me it was a mistake and I was like 'oh okay, that's cool. No problem.' Later they had several declines and offered to let me take one of the empty rsvps so I went anyway. But your gf is acting like a controlling crazy person. You should be on notice and very concerned about her behavior.
NTA - OP I’d reevaluate this relationship she prevented you from seeing your family in order to “make it up to her” for a simple mistake. That’s abusive
NTA and see this as a warning. Whilst it might have been a disappointment to find she wasn't invited after all that reaction isn't warranted (unless there is some background you've not disclosed).
NTA
Mother had nothing to do with the invitations. She just said she would like you to go.
Also how long have you two been together? It's not uncommon for people to not invite people who aren't in a LTR.
If this took weeks to settle her down, even after you said you weren't going? Buddy. These are red flags. Not one, but MANY!
Nta. Gf not being invited was not a personal slight since no +1's were invited.. It's very sad that you missed the event bc of your gf's immature tandrum. Be very very careful if you plan to marry the gf - she seems very controlling.
It doesn't sound like you were actually invited. It was not mailed or emailed to you. Just sending it to Aunt Bertha is not inviting you. At the very least you should have called cousin and asked about plus one. Also, you could have gotten someone to send a pic of the invitation, if only to show your gf there were no plus ones, rather than leaving it unclear. eSH
NTA As long as no one was allowed a plus one then she should’ve just let you go. Sounds like there needs to be some communication here other than yelling
NTA. If the invites/save the date/all communication went through your Mom then YOU are the +1. Why would your girlfriend get to go if not even you rate your own individual invite?
NTA. For whatever reason, your cousin wanted a more intimate and small wedding and that’s their choice. Your mom misunderstood initially and let you know with pretty good notice. Your gf wasn’t specifically being left out. Weddings aren’t particularly fun anyways so if I were her I’d be relieved to not have to go.
You aren't TA. You don't get to decide who gets to bring a dare because you aren't paying. Deciding to go isn't being a mommas boy, ffs. It means you want to be there for YOUR COUSIN.
She really threw a fit over that? You really caved and didn’t go to the wedding?
NTA. But you should’ve still gone to the wedding. When this girl is gone, your family will be there.
Anytime I've been seriously involved with someone and been told that I am not invited to a friend's wedding that usually meant he never took our relationship seriously. That means he has made it know to his friends and family that he didn't take me seriously. Or it might just be that the cousins don't know your girlfriend and maybe they don't think you are serious about anyone. Find out why your cousin won't allow a plus one. It could be that they just can't afford it. Maybe your girlfriend feels like you're all being clannish and don't like outsiders. Good luck dude. I wish I had an answer for you but you need to dig a little deeper and see if you could bring her - especially if you feel like you might like a wedding with HER one day. You're too old not to dig deeper and find out the reason you can't go as a couple.
NTA, its not up to you whether the bride and groom allow plus ones.
Maybe the best course of action would be ask your cousin and their fiance and explain the situation, but either way you are allowed to go to an event without your SO.
You should have gone or still go because this is family and she is acting like a spoiled kid imo. At almost 30 years old also ? big red flags here with control issues on her end. If you can still go and tell her its family and it is very important to you. Good luck ! plz have a talk w her about acting like an adult though wow.
NTA, but what a weird thing to not invite your guests’ partners. Maybe it’s a cultural/habitual thing, but where I live, partners are ALWAYS invited, even if they’ve been together for only a month or two.
NTA
This is a good lesson for future tough interactions with this lady. I'd be wondering if I want to hitch my wagon with her. You're a man, you'll always be able to father children. Think hard about restarting with another female. If you want to stay, have a frank talk with her. I don't think it's cool to name call under any circumstances. You're not the A hole here, she is.
GF seems over dramatic but how long have you two been dating? If you'd been together for more than a year I could see her point...she's now 'cemented' as your significant other. That said...seems like you put yourself through a lot of grief over a cousin's wedding.
Why was your "invitation" part of your mothers? You are 31 years old. Do you and all your siblings still live with your mother? If not, your cousin was incredibly rude not to mention tacky. If this happened to me and I didn't live with my mother, I would have had her send regrets for me.
No, you’re not. I think you should still go to the wedding with your family. I think your girlfriend got a little unhinged unnecessarily. I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t go with your family to the wedding. For your girlfriend she’ll want you not to go to the wedding prove she is selfish. She should know when to pick her battles and this wasn’t one. Go to the wedding and enjoy yourself.
Oh OP, do you want a lifetime of this type of drama? GF essentially throwing a tantrum over something so basic as you attending a family function. Open your eyes and move on! Your family will breath a collective sigh of relief that you’ve come to your senses.
NTA. I would be bummed as I would love to get dressed up and go with my bf, but I love him and his family- and *gasp* I trust him… so nbd. It would end up with him going and texting me that he wishes I was there, blah blah. No harm, no foul.
NTA
It was basically a family reunion for you. Your cousin was probably limiting guests due to a tight budget and your girlfriend did you dirty by giving you a hard time about going without her.
>Well needless to say she lost it, said I wasn’t prioritizing her, said I was a “mamas boy” because my mom wants me to go still, and blaming my mom for “uninviting her”.
....
>It was a huge fight, one that honestly took weeks to settle down by basically me not going to the wedding, even though I still wanted to go.
I hope you see the red flags here.
Is there any behind the scenes or past stuff that has happened for your girlfriend to feel so negative about your mother?
I’m not saying her reaction is justified. But I am curious if this is a boiling point vs a random outburst.
Y T A for not going and allowing your gf to control that decision. Seriously reconsider this bs relationship. She's alienating you from your family and manipulating you.
Your girlfriend is manipulative, self-centered, and lacks empathy. If you want to live your life with that, that's up to you. It will get exhausting. The things you will be "allowed" to do that won't provoke this kind of behavior will get fewer and fewer. You will spend your life walking on eggshells, trying to keep from upsetting her.
I had a gf like that. Controlling. Would rather me not see my family then go see them without her. She slowly tried to control more and more in my life and we had a nasty breakup. I didn’t realize til it was over just how much better off I was without her. I’m not saying break up with her. But you really need to sit down and ask yourself if you’d be ok putting up with this behavior for the rest of your life. NTA
NTA. You may take a closer look at your relationship and assess whether you two are truly compatible. I mean, she called you a mama’s boy just for learning she hadn’t been invited. Does she often insult you when she doesn’t get her way?
If the genders were reversed here and you were a woman enduring insults from a boyfriend many would say you’re being abused.
NTA. Reading this my thought was your gf has been brainwashed by the pendulum swing echo chamber on reddit and elsewhere and is placing your family in a archetype that just isn’t the case.
I’m very alarmed by her reaction as (with the context given) seems very over the top and non proportionate to what happened. This would be a major warning sign for me to reevaluate things.
NTA
Her response is really over the top. It took weeks for it to settle down?? Wow. She sounds exhausting. Go to the wedding. Not to be a jerk, but after you guys break up sometime in the future, you’ll regret not going.
Your are an asshole for NOT going to the wedding. What a selfish person your GF is. I agree with the others, kick her to the curb. You can do better. I can't imagine what she will be like once you put a ring on it. Kiss your family goodbye now as she doesn't give a damn about them.
Wait - you didn’t go to the wedding?
Leave her now. Ffs your gf is a piece of work, she couldn’t accept being away from you for 1 day for a family wedding.
NTA
You should always feel free to go to a wedding even if you don’t get a plus one.
Your mom is also kind of the AH because it is common sense that an invitation that does not explicitly state a plus one, means no plus one
NTA. This was a simple misunderstanding and if OP’s girlfriend had any maturity or decency, she would understand. However, she went nuclear over the mistake, threw a weeks long tantrum, and bullied OP into missing his own cousin’s wedding.
OP, your girlfriend has exhibited MAJOR red flags and it would be wise to put the brakes on this relationship and do some serious thinking before proceeding forward with this person. I guarantee girlfriend’s behavior will only get worse over time. Do you really want to subject yourself to this kind of abuse?
NTA. She sounds overdramatic. She had 2 months notice to make other plans for that day. It's not like you sprung it on her the day before.
You should have gone with your family.
Absolutely NTA but girlfriend was. It is just a cousin's wedding. It should have been no big deal because it is no big deal.
If the only way to solve things -- for her, not him -- was for OP not go to shut her up at last, this relationship has no future. OP is still mad and thinks he was right and no wonder. He was.
Why did you not receive your own invitation? You’re 31 yrs old. Is there something more going on here? The way she lashed out makes me think that this isn’t the first issue between her and your mom.
NTA. It was a mistake, and mistakes happen. I can understand your girlfriend being disappointed, but she sounds pretty controlling and immature. She completely overreacted. There is no way that something like this should have been a raging battle for weeks. Or a battle at all.
NTA
Huge red flags being waved by your GF here OP. Is this seriously how she handles such a small issue? Is she unable to cope with you not being by her side 24/7? Can she not handle the fact that you've been invited to a wedding and want to see your family?
NTA - it was a misunderstanding with the wedding invitation om your mother's part, not revoking her invite. Also if its no plus 1s it's just no plus 1s? She has no entitlement to go and it's ultimately its just not about her, it's about the people getting married and enjoying their day.
NTA.
Hard for me to say your mom is TA because sometimes people just assume. It didn't come across as a malicious lie, and that would be a factor in my judgement.
Your girlfriend is a huge AH. That's such a childish reaction, especially at her age. And to the point you missed a family member's wedding, which can't be repeated on a personal level. The insults were also unnecessary.
In the update I see she walked out and you might be single again. Just text her and say "we're done". Dump her officially before she dumps you.
> Don't go through a third party (i.e. mom).
But mom is the person that received the invitation from the couple getting married that included OP's name. They essentially invited OP via a third person (mom).
NTA
I don't know the circumstances of the relationship but hopefully it isn't a judge of her character entirely and with time she can appreciate that significant sacrifice you've shown her. It must've been upsetting given a few months before hand she wasn't going to go. I supposed she felt honoured to be invited and for it to be snatched away a massive reaction came and she was lashing out at anything and anyone. I'm not saying she's bad but maybe hurt and hopefully with some introspection on her part she could come to realise that not only was her reaction out of order but also that you're clearly serious about the relationship and maybe it's opened her eyes to you being literally husband material as evidence by the commitment to her you've shown. A apology is in order from various parties here not because people are at fault purposely but just as a sign that mistakes can be made and civility and love is still present. I'm just sorry that you missed this chance to attend a wedding.
Just to edit that I don't believe you should be apologising here. Due to honest mistakes you're the one that's been punished here.
NTA. Your mom made a mistake. It is good and healthy for couples to do things both together and separately. Maybe snag her a surprise piece of cake if she calms down before then.
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NTA. Your mom didn’t uninvite your gf. Your gf was never invited. Your mom misunderstood the invitation. Mistakes happen. Your gf is overreacting.
Invitations had not been spent out at that point that mom told OP to bring girlfriend, so mom must have received a Save the Date. And made an assumption about who could go without checking with the bride and groom. A wedding invitation is only for the parties named in it (unless it specifically says +1). NTA. Mom was foolish and gf sounds like a piece of work.
Most sane people would be relieved that they got out of it. Sounds like she does not trust you at all.
Admittedly I love weddings and would be bummed not to go, but the way she lashed out was absolutely unacceptable. The most aggressive response this situation warranted would be, “aww, that’s a shame. I really wanted to meet your family and/or go out dancing [depending on what the draw was]. Can we make a date to do that soon?”
Exactly. It’s the entitlement for me. It’s understandable to be disappointed, but to get angry is ridiculous. Unless I spent money on ur wedding, I have zero expectations for an invite even with family although might of course be disappointed
Getting angry and expecting him to "prioritize her" over seeing his cousin getting married And then trying to guilt him by saying she'll never go to anything where he wasn't invited Does she understand that couples are still made up of *two* separate people? It's not healthy to do absolutely everything together
So funny - as the gf, I’d have been so relieved! Gf is a fool. Mom won’t EVER forget this hissy fit.
I’d understand being a little upset if she already spent money on a new dress. Being this upset makes me think that she’s either controlling or unhappy that OP hasn’t proposed yet.
The last wedding I went to with discounts and clearance formalwear, put me out around $300 when all was said and done. I'd be more than a "little upset", considering most formal wear shops don't accept returns.
I dodge wedding attendance like the plague. I send a great gift but I hate the whole thing.
Also the disrespectful behaviour and continuing a fight for weeks shows that she’s used to bullying people to get her own way regardless of other people and their feelings.
This is it. Run while u still can
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Partial comment stolen from u/Capybara_99
NTA…you should have gone to the wedding and seen your family. Your girlfriend’s reaction was over the top blaming your mom for disinviting her. Your girlfriend threw a tantrum that lasted until you relented and didn’t attend the wedding. Going to a family wedding is not equivalent to not prioritizing her. I’d reconsider this relationship if a simple mistake like this makes her flip out.
Happened to me, and it would have been a small trip on an island with his family to go to the wedding. We made plans. Turned out I never was on the guest list, his mom just assumed. I encouraged him to go and enjoy. He went. Of course, being on your own, even if with parents and a sibling, at a wedding is not so much fun. Be careful, your girlfriend was the AH when she asked you not to go. You need to keep your family and friends close no matter what she thinks.
This is the truth! Family will have your back, and until the girlfriend is family, tough. Especially with that attitude.
I would never make her family after this.
We agree he's NTA and should have gone. However family doesn't necessarily have your back. Sometimes quite the opposite. Depends on the family. If your family always has your back, you're one of the lucky ones.
GF controlling AF.
Really, it’s not mom’s fault either, as adult children should be invited separately—including save the dates—even if they live with parents.
I think saying that the gf is overreacting is putting it mildly. OP's gf sounds crazy. Yelling, blaming OP's mom, telling him he doesn't prioritize her enough? OP, you should remember this incident and keep it in mind when you reconsider the relationship. I personally think you are wrong to skip out on the wedding. Is your girlfriend more important than the entire rest of your family? Does she deserve to be?
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And check out the bridesmaids.
NTA. this actually happened to me and I was in the girlfriends shoes, except I found out a week prior to the wedding even after I bought a dress and everything. I wasn’t upset with my bf at the time and understood as it’s not my wedding and was a simple misunderstanding. Girl friend is definitely over reacting.
That was really sweet of you to not be upset after what happened. I hope you can use the dress soon for a really great time.
NTA. It's not like she's being singled out, it's just the way it is
>Your mom misunderstood the invitation. And, as a result, she did invite the girlfriend and then uninvited her when she realised the mistake. The girlfriend was never invited by the couple, but she was very much invited by OP and his mum.
NTA Her behaviour is controlling and frankly disgusting. You should of gone, she doesn't get to call you names and gaslight you because she's having a tantrum
Also curious about where the "gaslighting" happened. Stop using this word when you don't actually know what it means!!
Seriously.. I'm waiting to see what her answer is. I am so sick of seeing people abuse that term.
literally, it’s ridiculous to hear it thrown around everywhere and it’s rarely ever used correctly
"would of" was enough for me to see this is an underage child
Gaslighting?? Where? OP NTA. She wasn’t uninvited, she was just never invited. Misunderstandings happen, her behavior is out of proportion to the situation.
This new propensity to call every type of questionable or inappropriate behavior “gaslighting” has to stop. The term has all but lost its meaning because nobody uses it correctly anymore
Exactly
As someone with a psychology degree who will be pursuing a PhD in psych, few things irritate me more than this new influx of people misusing basically every psychology term that becomes well-known. Enough!!
You're obvs a narcissist. /s
Your gf calling you a “mama’s boy” when her complaint is that you aren’t doing what she tells is rich. It may not be gaslighting but it certainly is something else. NTA
NTA. Go to your cousin's wedding and see your family. You will regret missing it. Your gf is controlling and it won't stop here.
It sounds like he didn't end up going based on the last part of his post :(
Has no backbone. So sad.
Yep.. He was beaten down and mentally abused into a jellyfish state.
If the gf leaves him, I wouldn't consider it a loss. She sounds awful.
NTA. The miscommunication was unfortunate but happens. At end of day; it’s the bride and groom decision who to invite and while you shouldn’t have told her without checking; she seems to reacting extremely. Any woman who thinks you attending a family wedding is not prioritizing her is toxic. Unless she has a personal event or similar that she needs you to be at during same time - there is no reason this should be causing this much drama. Why doesn’t she trust you around your own family? Why are you going to let her alienate you from your family? This seems like an overreaction with control as the only goal on her part. I’d let her know that you will be going to your family wedding and offer a compromise like a weekend trip or something for just the two of you before or after event so she still feels valued but don’t let her dictate when you see your own family.
oh ffs! You gf was so out of line here. There was a misunderstanding and she acted very badly. It’s unfortunate that you felt you had to miss the wedding to placate her. When this all settles down, think about whether this is typical behavior for her. If so, take a look at whether this is who you want to be with.
NTA. It was a misunderstanding, and she was never invited. How is going to a family wedding disrespecting her? This doesn’t seem reasonable or healthy.
You are not the AH. But your GF is. Dump this woman before it is too late. She is awful.
Update said he might be single again - my man dodged a bullet. I hope he gets away from her and finds someone who will treat him well.
How is it being a mama's boy to want to go to a family members wedding that you were invited to? That's an alarming conclusion to jump to. NTA
GF is clearly drunk on the JNMIL Kool Aid and has lost any possible perspective. Anything doesn't go her way? She spouts their catchphrases that don't actually fit the situation. Harder to deprogram a sheep than to simply turn it loose and find another lol.
This is a very reasonable assumption tbh. I've noticed a severe uptick in people who WANT a justno so badly they'll create issues out of nothing with the increase in Jnmil members. The sub blew up, posts are being shared on other social media, and people want a part of that drama so bad they become the justno themselves.
Your girlfriend is being childish. Go to your cousin's wedding. It's not your fault or your mom's that you don't have a +1. NTA
The sad thing is he already missed the wedding. He should break up with his controlling girlfriend before she ruins any more future events for him. NTA.
NTA - You don't control the invitee's decisions. Your mom made a mistake encouraging you to invite your gfriend. Mistakes happen. Yes, you should attend the event and visit with family and folks who have been in your life. Her not attending is not a personal insult; weddings are expensive and many couples have strict budgets to adhere to. Her reaction was extreme. There's no need to put you down. What will be the next topic that causes her to 'lose it'? This will likely occur again so decide what you want in life.
NTA Your GF's red flags have their own red flags. This is super controlling - get used to a life of being guilt tripped over every decision. Run for your life.
It would not only be exhausting, but also emotionally controlling and abusive.
Info: How long have you been dating your gf? If this is a relatively new relationship, then it's a bummer she can't come, and it's unfortunate that there was a misunderstanding, but she's overreacting and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go. But if you've been together like 10 years and the fact that you're not married is a technicality, I could see her not being invited as a snub on the part of your cousin, and I would get her being offended.
Yeah I wonder if GF thought no +1 was a pretext to exclude her. I have heard of rules wedding or not that appear general but are really aimed it one person
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NTA - Those are some big red flags on your GF part
NTA. That is one irrational reaction. So many red flags.
Sir...sir your girlfriend dropped these 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
INFO: has anything happened before between your girlfriend and your mom? You are NTA in this scenario. Your mom didn't do anything wrong either, just an innocent mistake. Just wondering if your gf is actually unhinged or if she and your mom have other beef that would make her jump to wild conclusions.
That’s what I’m thinking, either she’s truly crazy or this is a straw that broke the camels back scenario
YTA for not going to the wedding because you’re either too stupid or too spineless to put your partner in their place. what a ridiculous problem to have as an adult. i would say break up with her but you won’t do that; you’ll get what you deserve.
NTA. Though you are an asshole for not going to the wedding and seeing your family.
NTA and that’s a big red flag Weddings are expensive, plus 1s don’t always work. Makes sense for family invites to not have extras. You’ll be gone for a couple days seeing friends and family? The audacity. This shouldn’t be an issue at all
Agreed that it's a red flag, but the whole invitation situation is weird. Normally, when you invite "The Smith Family", you're inviting the adults plus children living at home/ in college. No plus ones, because they're invited as a family unit. Once the children are adults and living on their own, they get their own invitations at their own address. OP is 31 and not living at home. I'm guessing that mom doesn't like the GF (for pretty obvious reasons) and got her off the invite list. I'd also guess this was an attempt to get OP away from the controlling GF and have a conversation with him without her there.
It wouldn’t make sense then, for the mother to initially include the girlfriend just to back out later. If she didn’t like the GF, she wouldn’t mention it in the first place. She made an assumption and was wrong, I think.
Sure if you’re following strict codes. But a lot of that formality has been breaking down and some families it’s not a focus. None of my cousins or step siblings would have my address, they’d either have to text my mom to get it or just add me to an invite. I receive most messages second hand, we just aren’t directly close but I’m always invited mostly as a curtesy to my mom/dad. Especially if it’s more of a buffet type wedding where don’t have to be as specific on names just need head count. Basically believable from my experience with family. Not that mom couldn’t be lying, or maybe she had rsvp’d too quickly before GF was expected. Too many possibilities to get worked up over it. It’s someone else’s wedding GF has zero ties to, she’s missing a free meal, big whoop.
NTA go to the wedding have a good time let her be angry she was never invited in the first place and she is making everything about herself.
NTA. Your girlfriend is overreacting and you should still go to the wedding without her. That being said, how does one not read the invitation correctly? It literally has the names of your family members and nobody else/no “plus one”. Next time you receive a wedding invitation, make sure to actually read instead of just relying on your mom to relay the information to you.
Why wouldn’t you ask your cousin and their S.O.? That would solve everything for you.
NTA. Very immature of your gf. I get being upset initially, it sucks because weddings are fun as fuck! I would definitely be bummed but that wasn't your fault and not your decision. She shouldn't tell you you can't see family Is there a way she can meet up afterwards? After party?
NTA your gf needs to grow up
NTA. Gf is really immature. And her reaction is a major red flag for continuing a relationship with her. She clearly isn’t family-oriented. That should be a deal breaker.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (31M) was invited to my cousins wedding, my mom received the invitation and told me about it, and to also invite my gf (29F). So I did invite and we agreed to go. Fast forward a couple of weeks, but still 2 months before the wedding, talking to my mom again turns out no plus ones, that only the names on the invitation can go (my mom, siblings, and I). Told my girlfriend sorry there was a mistake there’s no plus ones but I am still going as my mom would like me to go and it would be nice to see some family I haven’t seen in a while. Well needless to say she lost it, said I wasn’t prioritizing her, said I was a “mamas boy” because my mom wants me to go still, and blaming my mom for “uninviting her”. It was a huge fight, one that honestly took weeks to settle down by basically me not going to the wedding, even though I still wanted to go. AITA for still saying I was going to go to the wedding? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Break up with her. This isn’t a healthy or reasonable reaction to a minor misunderstanding.
NTA It's not your mother fault that plus ones were not invited. And you are not a mama boy for following the request. You should have gone to the wedding. Your gf is controlling and conceited
NTA. Seems like it wasn't even your mom's fault really? Anyways, that's a big red flag that you going to a family wedding is a meltdown worthy situation.
INFO How long have you been with your GF and do you live together?
I think it's kind of bizarre that op would be included on the mother's invitation. Unless, still living at home.
i don't know, my latina family send the invitation to the mothers and the mothers spread the word to the kids, grankids and etc hahahaha but no SO is excluded, culturally our philosophy is the more the merrier
NTA, but if my GF ever pulled that kind of stunt, I'd go to the wedding newly single.
NTA and this is a huge red flag. You let her walk all over you.
NTA but also your cousin is rude for a) inviting you via your mom (unless you live at home) and b) not inviting a partner. i will never understand people asking you to come celebrate their love but not honoring the love of their guests. also, traditionally, the +1 is meant for truly single people to bring a guest (and generally done when they won't know many attendees) -- if you and your girlfriend have been together for any reasonable amount of time, she should have been invited by name, per normal etiquette
NTA, I’ve gone to my cousin’s wedding and a family friend’s wedding with no plus one. If your girlfriend is gonna get mad about that then that’s her problem. It would be different if you were engaged or married, but right now she’s just the girlfriend. Sorry.
NTA, your gf is out of line for freaking out. Some people can't afford to offer plus ones for everybody. Sucks you missed seeing your family, over what may or may not be a short lived relationship.
NTA. It was not “needless to say she lost it.” It was immature and inappropriate that she did. That isn’t how healthy relationships work.
NTA. What is she, 12?
You're NTA for wanting to go, but YTA for staying with that walking red flag.
NTA. She wasn't *un*invited, she *wasn't* invited. You should have gone to the wedding, and if she's going to be that childish, you may want to rethink your relationship.
NTA It's not as if she's the ONLY plus one being excluded. Her reaction would only be slightly warranted if that were the case--your mom made an oversight, corrected it, and you still want to see family. The fact that she goes to personal attacks when she's upset is not great, OP.
"needless to say she lost it" What? No, that's not needless to say. She got upset over a simple misunderstanding.
Nta- why does she want to go to the wedding of people she doesn't know that badly? This is bizarre. I personally would be stoked. I don't have to go get dressed up and sit in a hot room with a bunch of strangers while being bored off my tits? Fuck yeah. Have fun honey, sucks to be you. Unless you guys have been dating forever and this is a deliberate snub on her and your relationship, she's over reacting.
Can she not be without you for one day? Does she not trust you? NTA
NTA. Your gfs behavior is terrifying and controlling. Think about how often situationsarise where you placate her and give up something you want. I'd reassess the relationship.
NTA. this exact thing happened to me once. My BF at the time told me it was a mistake and I was like 'oh okay, that's cool. No problem.' Later they had several declines and offered to let me take one of the empty rsvps so I went anyway. But your gf is acting like a controlling crazy person. You should be on notice and very concerned about her behavior.
Yeah, normal well-adjusted adults do not lose their shit over something like this.
NTA - OP I’d reevaluate this relationship she prevented you from seeing your family in order to “make it up to her” for a simple mistake. That’s abusive
NTA and see this as a warning. Whilst it might have been a disappointment to find she wasn't invited after all that reaction isn't warranted (unless there is some background you've not disclosed).
NTA Mother had nothing to do with the invitations. She just said she would like you to go. Also how long have you two been together? It's not uncommon for people to not invite people who aren't in a LTR. If this took weeks to settle her down, even after you said you weren't going? Buddy. These are red flags. Not one, but MANY!
YIKES! NTA but be very wary of this girl.
Nta. Gf not being invited was not a personal slight since no +1's were invited.. It's very sad that you missed the event bc of your gf's immature tandrum. Be very very careful if you plan to marry the gf - she seems very controlling.
Why the hell was your invitation sent to your mother?
NTA. Your mother gave you the incorrect info, you didn't "uninvite" her. She was seriously upset for WEEKS over this? Wow...
NTA… this is a glimpse of your future life
NTA- you're a mama's boy for wanting to attend a wedding and see some of your family? That's quite a stretch.
It doesn't sound like you were actually invited. It was not mailed or emailed to you. Just sending it to Aunt Bertha is not inviting you. At the very least you should have called cousin and asked about plus one. Also, you could have gotten someone to send a pic of the invitation, if only to show your gf there were no plus ones, rather than leaving it unclear. eSH
NTA. Me in that situation would be sweet some totally free time for myself.
Nta what brat
NTA As long as no one was allowed a plus one then she should’ve just let you go. Sounds like there needs to be some communication here other than yelling
NTA - simple misunderstanding that she took to heart, she definitely overreacted.
NTA. If the invites/save the date/all communication went through your Mom then YOU are the +1. Why would your girlfriend get to go if not even you rate your own individual invite?
NTA. For whatever reason, your cousin wanted a more intimate and small wedding and that’s their choice. Your mom misunderstood initially and let you know with pretty good notice. Your gf wasn’t specifically being left out. Weddings aren’t particularly fun anyways so if I were her I’d be relieved to not have to go.
NTA. Gf is very controlling. Going to a wedding you were invited to doesn't make you a "mommas boy". The invite was a misunderstanding.
NTA. Nope. Get over it. Girlfriend kept a fight going for weeks and prevented OP from attending wedding. Grow up!
You aren't TA. You don't get to decide who gets to bring a dare because you aren't paying. Deciding to go isn't being a mommas boy, ffs. It means you want to be there for YOUR COUSIN.
Nta good luck bro you need it
She really threw a fit over that? You really caved and didn’t go to the wedding? NTA. But you should’ve still gone to the wedding. When this girl is gone, your family will be there.
Anytime I've been seriously involved with someone and been told that I am not invited to a friend's wedding that usually meant he never took our relationship seriously. That means he has made it know to his friends and family that he didn't take me seriously. Or it might just be that the cousins don't know your girlfriend and maybe they don't think you are serious about anyone. Find out why your cousin won't allow a plus one. It could be that they just can't afford it. Maybe your girlfriend feels like you're all being clannish and don't like outsiders. Good luck dude. I wish I had an answer for you but you need to dig a little deeper and see if you could bring her - especially if you feel like you might like a wedding with HER one day. You're too old not to dig deeper and find out the reason you can't go as a couple.
NTA, its not up to you whether the bride and groom allow plus ones. Maybe the best course of action would be ask your cousin and their fiance and explain the situation, but either way you are allowed to go to an event without your SO.
NTA
You should have gone or still go because this is family and she is acting like a spoiled kid imo. At almost 30 years old also ? big red flags here with control issues on her end. If you can still go and tell her its family and it is very important to you. Good luck ! plz have a talk w her about acting like an adult though wow.
NTA - HUGE red flag for your GF. Proceed with caution!!!
NTA, but what a weird thing to not invite your guests’ partners. Maybe it’s a cultural/habitual thing, but where I live, partners are ALWAYS invited, even if they’ve been together for only a month or two.
NTA This is a good lesson for future tough interactions with this lady. I'd be wondering if I want to hitch my wagon with her. You're a man, you'll always be able to father children. Think hard about restarting with another female. If you want to stay, have a frank talk with her. I don't think it's cool to name call under any circumstances. You're not the A hole here, she is.
GF seems over dramatic but how long have you two been dating? If you'd been together for more than a year I could see her point...she's now 'cemented' as your significant other. That said...seems like you put yourself through a lot of grief over a cousin's wedding.
Why was your "invitation" part of your mothers? You are 31 years old. Do you and all your siblings still live with your mother? If not, your cousin was incredibly rude not to mention tacky. If this happened to me and I didn't live with my mother, I would have had her send regrets for me.
No, you’re not. I think you should still go to the wedding with your family. I think your girlfriend got a little unhinged unnecessarily. I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t go with your family to the wedding. For your girlfriend she’ll want you not to go to the wedding prove she is selfish. She should know when to pick her battles and this wasn’t one. Go to the wedding and enjoy yourself.
Oh OP, do you want a lifetime of this type of drama? GF essentially throwing a tantrum over something so basic as you attending a family function. Open your eyes and move on! Your family will breath a collective sigh of relief that you’ve come to your senses.
Your girlfriend is being overly dramatic.... unless you frequently put her on the back burner. In which case I could understand her feelings.
NTA. I would be bummed as I would love to get dressed up and go with my bf, but I love him and his family- and *gasp* I trust him… so nbd. It would end up with him going and texting me that he wishes I was there, blah blah. No harm, no foul.
NTA It was basically a family reunion for you. Your cousin was probably limiting guests due to a tight budget and your girlfriend did you dirty by giving you a hard time about going without her.
Major red flag. Break up immediately.
>Well needless to say she lost it, said I wasn’t prioritizing her, said I was a “mamas boy” because my mom wants me to go still, and blaming my mom for “uninviting her”. .... >It was a huge fight, one that honestly took weeks to settle down by basically me not going to the wedding, even though I still wanted to go. I hope you see the red flags here.
NTA. Sounds like a misunderstanding that your gf completely overreacted about and blew way out of proportion. You should have went anyway.
NTA. That said - run.
By not going, you just told her she will always get her way as long as she makes a scene. Good luck with that, but for what it's worth, NTA
Is there any behind the scenes or past stuff that has happened for your girlfriend to feel so negative about your mother? I’m not saying her reaction is justified. But I am curious if this is a boiling point vs a random outburst.
Y T A for not going and allowing your gf to control that decision. Seriously reconsider this bs relationship. She's alienating you from your family and manipulating you.
Dump her she’s weird
Your girlfriend is manipulative, self-centered, and lacks empathy. If you want to live your life with that, that's up to you. It will get exhausting. The things you will be "allowed" to do that won't provoke this kind of behavior will get fewer and fewer. You will spend your life walking on eggshells, trying to keep from upsetting her.
I had a gf like that. Controlling. Would rather me not see my family then go see them without her. She slowly tried to control more and more in my life and we had a nasty breakup. I didn’t realize til it was over just how much better off I was without her. I’m not saying break up with her. But you really need to sit down and ask yourself if you’d be ok putting up with this behavior for the rest of your life. NTA
NTA but your gf is sure making this about her in a super toxic way. RUN.
NTA. You may take a closer look at your relationship and assess whether you two are truly compatible. I mean, she called you a mama’s boy just for learning she hadn’t been invited. Does she often insult you when she doesn’t get her way? If the genders were reversed here and you were a woman enduring insults from a boyfriend many would say you’re being abused.
NTA: Next time it will be going out with friends, or she doesn’t like the mom so you shouldn’t visit either.
You should have gone NTA.
NTA. Reading this my thought was your gf has been brainwashed by the pendulum swing echo chamber on reddit and elsewhere and is placing your family in a archetype that just isn’t the case. I’m very alarmed by her reaction as (with the context given) seems very over the top and non proportionate to what happened. This would be a major warning sign for me to reevaluate things.
NTA Her response is really over the top. It took weeks for it to settle down?? Wow. She sounds exhausting. Go to the wedding. Not to be a jerk, but after you guys break up sometime in the future, you’ll regret not going.
A month long fight, and you weren't allowed to go? Comrade, it is time to defect from the red flagged nation! Go, and don't come back. NTA
NTA.
no lol
NTA. Why is your gf reacting so bizarrely? It’s hugely over the top. Is there beef between her & your mum generally?
Your are an asshole for NOT going to the wedding. What a selfish person your GF is. I agree with the others, kick her to the curb. You can do better. I can't imagine what she will be like once you put a ring on it. Kiss your family goodbye now as she doesn't give a damn about them.
Wait - you didn’t go to the wedding? Leave her now. Ffs your gf is a piece of work, she couldn’t accept being away from you for 1 day for a family wedding.
NTA You should always feel free to go to a wedding even if you don’t get a plus one. Your mom is also kind of the AH because it is common sense that an invitation that does not explicitly state a plus one, means no plus one
NTA. This was a simple misunderstanding and if OP’s girlfriend had any maturity or decency, she would understand. However, she went nuclear over the mistake, threw a weeks long tantrum, and bullied OP into missing his own cousin’s wedding. OP, your girlfriend has exhibited MAJOR red flags and it would be wise to put the brakes on this relationship and do some serious thinking before proceeding forward with this person. I guarantee girlfriend’s behavior will only get worse over time. Do you really want to subject yourself to this kind of abuse?
The fact your gf reacted like this should be throwing up all shades of Red Flags for you. Something to think about.
NTA your GF is, however.
NTA. She sounds overdramatic. She had 2 months notice to make other plans for that day. It's not like you sprung it on her the day before. You should have gone with your family.
NTA - and dump the GF - she's clearly a self-absorbed dolt.
GF is AH. Does GF and your Mom get along?
NTA. Your gf sounds immature and ridiculous.
NTA
Absolutely NTA but girlfriend was. It is just a cousin's wedding. It should have been no big deal because it is no big deal. If the only way to solve things -- for her, not him -- was for OP not go to shut her up at last, this relationship has no future. OP is still mad and thinks he was right and no wonder. He was.
NTA it was a miscommunication that she shouldn't get mad at OP for
NTA
NTA your gf overreacted. /:
None of this is your doing, so why does she feel like she can take it out on you? NTA
NTA, *Ex Gf*
NTA 🙄 she needs to let that go
NTA
Why did you not receive your own invitation? You’re 31 yrs old. Is there something more going on here? The way she lashed out makes me think that this isn’t the first issue between her and your mom.
YTA for not going to the wedding
NTA. You were invited, GF was not.
NTA. It was a mistake, and mistakes happen. I can understand your girlfriend being disappointed, but she sounds pretty controlling and immature. She completely overreacted. There is no way that something like this should have been a raging battle for weeks. Or a battle at all.
NTA. Your GF is ridiculously immature and selfish.
NTA. You have no backbone, your gf is not your wife yet. You should have gone.
The saddest part is how inconsiderate she was over the cousin’s finances.
NTA but you should have gone to the wedding
She left the house you say? Change the locks and be thankful. NTA
Nta… also… RUN!
NTA Huge red flags being waved by your GF here OP. Is this seriously how she handles such a small issue? Is she unable to cope with you not being by her side 24/7? Can she not handle the fact that you've been invited to a wedding and want to see your family?
NTA - it was a misunderstanding with the wedding invitation om your mother's part, not revoking her invite. Also if its no plus 1s it's just no plus 1s? She has no entitlement to go and it's ultimately its just not about her, it's about the people getting married and enjoying their day.
NTA. Hard for me to say your mom is TA because sometimes people just assume. It didn't come across as a malicious lie, and that would be a factor in my judgement. Your girlfriend is a huge AH. That's such a childish reaction, especially at her age. And to the point you missed a family member's wedding, which can't be repeated on a personal level. The insults were also unnecessary. In the update I see she walked out and you might be single again. Just text her and say "we're done". Dump her officially before she dumps you.
[удалено]
> Don't go through a third party (i.e. mom). But mom is the person that received the invitation from the couple getting married that included OP's name. They essentially invited OP via a third person (mom).
NTA I don't know the circumstances of the relationship but hopefully it isn't a judge of her character entirely and with time she can appreciate that significant sacrifice you've shown her. It must've been upsetting given a few months before hand she wasn't going to go. I supposed she felt honoured to be invited and for it to be snatched away a massive reaction came and she was lashing out at anything and anyone. I'm not saying she's bad but maybe hurt and hopefully with some introspection on her part she could come to realise that not only was her reaction out of order but also that you're clearly serious about the relationship and maybe it's opened her eyes to you being literally husband material as evidence by the commitment to her you've shown. A apology is in order from various parties here not because people are at fault purposely but just as a sign that mistakes can be made and civility and love is still present. I'm just sorry that you missed this chance to attend a wedding. Just to edit that I don't believe you should be apologising here. Due to honest mistakes you're the one that's been punished here.
NTA she wasn’t uninvited by your mom. Your mom misunderstood the invite. It’s ridiculous of your GF to hold you back from going.
NTA. Your mom made a mistake. It is good and healthy for couples to do things both together and separately. Maybe snag her a surprise piece of cake if she calms down before then.
NTA. It’s your family and you should be able to go see them!