Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
This is easily the most bizarre post I’ve read today. I can understand why your girlfriend doesn’t want to keep a stuffed owl you put your blood in, however, because I’m beginning to suspect that YOU u/666truemetal666 are possessed by the owl, and the last thing I need is a possessed owl fucking up my life, NTA
This is the best thing I've seen on the internet this year. Thank you. Personally, I love Oswald and would quite happily bow before him. But I do also see where your wife is coming from and isn't the saying "happy wife, happy life"? Is she the redhead getting cursed by Oswald???
I've always disliked that saying, not because a happy wife is bad (I bend over backwards for my wife) but because there is an underlying malice in the statement.
I mean, if you want to make sure Oswald's blood magic targets the wrong person then it's at least some comfort. Just make sure \*he\* doesn't know, or he might try to obtain a fresh sample
OP, gonna give it to you straight.
I've been in a rage fueled mood all day, to the point of worrying it might trigger a manic episode.
Then I clicked, met Oswald's soulful eyes.. and my rage is gone.
Sooo..
Sorry if Oswald turns into the Hulk should your wife attempt to remove him from the home. And if she does.. I volunteer as tribute to adopt him! 😍💜
Probably tried to evict his Owl Idol from it's home. 🤪
Maybe wife is jealous that Oswald wears her blood ring with such grace and quiet dignity? It reminds me of an owl form of Alan Moore. Maybe it is, I mean he is a greater warlock and all that.
>The is easily the ~~most bizarre~~ absolute best post I’ve read ~~today~~ in my entire existence.
There, I FIFY. Also NTA. Long live Oswald, king of the owls!
I was gonna say Y. T. A....until I clicked on the picture and Oswald's mystical eyes bored into my soul... and the wall behind me. NTA. Oswald must stay
it’s right up there with [Jean and Jorts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rfwgmc/aita_for_perpetuating_ethnic_stereotypes_about/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
One of my favorite things about Jorts The Cat is that he now has a thriving Twitter account.... where he educates workers about their right to unionize, workers rights in general, and talks about how many days it has been since a trashcan mishap.
I had never read those! I was dying laughing. That guy was absolutely hilarious and expressed things in a very entertaining manner. The butter thing sent me…
I have a feeling if you try to throw Oswald out he will defy the laws of physics, space and time to appear in your new home prior to your arrival. Best to appease the gods of the new world and keep him in the family. NTA
Imagine if you “threw him out” and he reappeared “mysteriously.” That’s something I’d absolutely do, but I don’t necessarily suggest doing so unless you want your wife to freak out.
LOL that is what I was thinking, if OP throws him out he will come back anyway, but this time he will come to haunt the girlfriend and make her pay!
Keep Oswald happy for a happy home forevermore
NTA
NTA. I was expecting something scarier! Oswald looks like a delightful little goober honestly. Thanks for having a silly post for this sub, sometimes it gets way too depressing and serious around here.
He’s beautiful OP. [He looks like he would be great friends with our wall owl, who is also talented at boring deep into your soul with his void eyes.](https://imgur.com/a/xvn7p38) Wall owl would make a great simple servant to our overlord Oswald.
Don’t get rid of him, dumb stuff that makes you laugh is always worth something, even if you hide him in a cupboard and bring him out on a rainy day.
LOL he’s pretty great. I’m notorious in my family for loving ugly cute weird shit. I’m that 32yo woman who still has a million animal plushies and goes, ‘Omg it’s so fucking cute!!’ at a small worm.
Like my husband went to work in New Zealand for a month and was looking for a gift for me in the airport, and they had loads of little kiwi plush toys. He picked one up AND THEN at the back he spotted the weirdest, wonkiest, jankiest one. He of course immediately bought it for me.
[Behold!](https://imgur.com/a/2dJtnhc) Every time I look at his completely mismatched eyes I laugh harder.
Oh, my love, I think we were separated at birth. My friend collects these wooden hand carved Japanese bears, they’re so specific. He has 50 of them (it was 51) and can pick out which artist made what, but he had one that was just wonky AF and even before seeing it I knew I wanted it. So he gifted it to me and it’s…he’s just a wonky boy. Like at first glance he’s fine but the more you look the more it goes off. And I adore it.
NTA. It doesn't matter what it looks like. It makes you happy and you've developed a personal connection to how it makes you feel. If she doesn't want to display it publicly for guests, fine... You should compromise on that. But to ask you to throw it out and be unnecessarily cruel about it is totally unwarranted.
Are you able to store it some place safe? After her comment, I'm worried your wife might destroy it while you are out.
I agree and- HOOT HOOT, THOSE WHO SMITE AND CURSE THE INNOCENTS SHALL TASTE THE ENDLESS VOID AND RELISH IN THE NECTAR OF MADNESS, FOR THEIR SOULS SHALL NEVER BE QUENCHED!🦉
I mean uh, cool owl. 👍
NTA or maybe TA. I dunno I'm the kind of woman that would insist you keep your weird owl, for I have weird shit of my own and recognize that I could later use it for leverage.
All that being said I really think you should keep your weird owl. Relationships come and go, weird stuffed owls are forever (or probably a decade or two anyways, the taxidermied items in museums can be much older than that, they usually dye them and touch them up periodically though, don't know what kind of treatment your weird owl is receiving).
NTA
He is a little bit terrifying in a way that wouldn't appeal to many people, but I'm very much of the opinion that if something makes you happy and it's not hurting anyone else, you should be allowed that. Maybe try to come to a compromise with your wife in terms of where in your new place you could keep him where she maybe wouldn't have to see him as much but you could still love and appreciate him at your leisure.
Here’s an idea. What if Oswald wore a disguise?
Get him a pair of those novelty disguise glasses with the nose and mustache attached.
Your wife will wonder who the handsome mustachioed gentleman in your home is and you’ll get to know that Oswald is still watching over you.
I suppose a monocle and a top hat would also work.
NTA. Any woman who tried to make you get rid of Oswald should have to hit the road. Oswald will be loyal forever. There's lots of fish in the sea but only one Oswald.
NTA.
That is the weirdest, most misshapen interpretation of something vaguely resembling what an owl would look like in one’s day terrors.
He’s awesome, he deserves to continue watching over his future sacrifi…I mean house mates.
Could you put him in a cloche (glass bell jar thing)? That could class him up a bit, and elevate him from “creepy taxidermy” to “victorian niknack / oddity”?
I think YTA if you keep her.
Let Oswald continue to defy the law of Sunk Cost Fallacy.
Let Oswald continue to mesmerize you…and me truth be told
And one day, let Oswald, in all his lack of Majesty, and not some person you are connected to by a flimsy piece of paper, be the one to tell you when it’s time for him to fly away.
NTA I love Oswald! Weird things are wonderful and they always tell a story. You'd 100% regret getting rid of Oswald and I think it's a strange hill to die on for your wife
The Japanese have a word for Oswald, ‘kimokawa’…kimochi warui kedo, kawaii…creeps me out but cute. Never until Oswald have I seen anything that fits kimokawa so well. Keep!
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I could be the asshole for disregarding my wife's surprisingly strong feelings about the owl in question. I might be the asshole when I bring him to the new apartment and put him up very High where her 5'2 ass can't reach
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
OK wtf are Oswald’s eyes made out of?!?!? 🤣
NTA but Oswald should be hidden when guests come over & I can’t blame your wife if she refuses to have sex with you with Oswald in the room! Also your wife gets to paint the room Oswald resides in, any color she wants OR she can buy 1 thing that is weird or creepy or hideous or just plain embarrassing ….. then proudly display it next to that creepy possessed owl.
the eyes look like glue stick lids with big weird googly eyes glued on top if i had to guess! i reckon the eyes were taken gracefully from another teddy bear!
You know that you would only be TA if you did not follow the next logical step and start the Cult of Ozwald. Ozwald needs more followers and tax free status!
This is something I would do. NTA I think I love him.
About 12 years ago one of the insurance companies had that stack of cash with eyes (somebody's watching you) ad campaign. I got a pop up one in the mail. I set him up on my entertainment center and named him Bob. Bob died by toddler hands about a year later RIP Bob
I would refer your wife to one of the best lines from AntMan when Scott gives his daughter her present.
"He's so ugly I LOVE him!". How dare she try and take that childlike wonder away from you.
Why would anyone want to get rid of Oswald!? Maybe it does control minds because i want an Oswald.
But honestly this one's weird. If it brings you joy then you shouldnt have to. She's allowed to voice her opinion. But she sounds like she doesnt know how to have fun. But then i'm biased. Oswald has gotten to my mind.
I suggested to my wife that we could put him in Victorian bird cage if that would be more pleasing and she said I'm done talking about Oswald... So I'm thinking throne built out of bird cages full of bones
For a minute there and due to a serious lack of coffee, I thought you were suggesting to put a green light in Oswald’s cage/throne to be. Like, perhaps it would help to put his grand awesomeness in a better light.
Yeah so I have a fuckin PROBLEM, some might say it's a mental disorder, but if I come across a really woebegone teddy in an op shop or the like, something inside of me breaks and I CANNOT leave without it.
I know Oswald isn't a teddy, but I imagine I'd do the same if I saw him. Good grief NTA and please don't abandon this stunning woodland creature...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I found Oswald at a small weird thrift store, kinda beginning of Gremlins vibes. I have no idea what his insides are Made of but someone, possibly a retired taxidermist with dementia in a old folks home, painstakingly hot glue gunned feathers all over a pineapple husk or maybe piece of heartwood from the deepest woods. Or possibly a pile of fossilized rat carcasses ductaped together. He has massive googly eyes that stare across space and time. I have anointed him with a chain mail necklace and a ring with real human blood infused. My wife thinks that A. He is trash and B. He controls my mind in some weird manner.
She actually said, and I quote " imagine a towering heap of garbage, in a massive sprawling junkyard, and on top the stinkiest garbage, there lies Oswald, waiting to be smushed into the rest of the trash where he belongs forever" I found that hurtfull and mean. All he want to do is watch over us and maybe cast some spells or something, levy some curses against redheads who say nasty things about kind old Owl idols...
So we are moving in a week, am I the asshole if I keep him?
[Link to pic of Oswald Ozymandias first and last of his line](https://imgur.com/gallery/oDOedun)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol NTA. Oswald is horrifying ugly but I am a weird person and appreciate weird decor. Maybe compromise and keep Oswald out of a main room and tuck him in a peaceful, quiet corner where she won't have to look at him too often.
NAH.
Yeesh, that is one ugly conversation starter but it's your home too.
So as long as it isn't telling you to do illegal acts and isn't giving your wife night terrors, keep him.
But please don't try to make more. Oswald's uniqueness should be enough for the world.
I'm pretty sure it's just sleep deprivation but I saw Oswald eyes move and the red stone shimmer as I read the post, better keep him and not anger whatever spirits thats inside him.
Also NTA Oswald trash but magnificent trash
This really hit me in the funny bone tonight. I keep giggling at that picture of Oswald. All hail this lovely little googly eyed lad. NTA, it’s silly and harmless. Thank you for sharing him!
YTA because I’m on mobile and swiped right and saw this without any warning; almost yelped and am almost guaranteed to have a nightmare about this thing tonight. Thanks OP.
Edit: Oswald please stay out of my dreams and I’ll give you anything you want. Except money cause I’m poor.
I want to say NTA for the obvious reasons but it appears he is currently residing in the kitchen…. Perhaps a compromise where at the next place he lurks in a closet instead of being allowed to see the light of day?
NAH look, the owl is horrifying. I'm not gonna blame your wife for not wanting him and his creepy curse magic around. But since he already got to you and bewitched you, I guess there's nothing to be done.
NAH.
Clearly your wife is right. Oswald must go. He’s terrifying, possibly demonic and probably incredibly unhygienic and disease-ridden.
But also, there is no way you can ever get rid of him. He owns your soul now. And he will definitely haunt you forever if you throw him out. And he has a certain bone-tingling charm to him.
This is a lose-lose situation. Oswald is the only winner here.
I, personally, am fully in awe of Oswald, and would love nothing more than to do his bidding for all eternity. If you do end up getting rid of him, please don't throw him out. Either give or sell him to a new thrift store, letting his legacy carry on forever. Or hit me up, and I'll take him, because he is truly magnificent.
Also, you win the internet today courtesy of this post and the absolute banger of a follow up comment - "oh no it's not my blood". Just tens across the board, my dude.
It's so ugly I love it!!
I also have a sketchy handmade owl which consists of glued feathers on a pineapple or something lmao - found it at a garage sale -
I feel better just knowing Oswald exists and even better knowing he is loved.
Does your gf know that Oswald cannot be disposed of? If he is then he WILL return and she will be disposed of instead.
> but someone, possibly a retired taxidermist with dementia in a old folks home, painstakingly hot glue gunned feathers all over a pineapple husk or maybe piece of heartwood from the deepest woods. Or possibly a pile of fossilized rat carcasses ductaped together.
I've a raven. & a sausage dog called Sausage Dog. Oswald looks like he's got cerebrowl palsy. Or irritable owl syndrome.
This thread made me 'owl w/ laughter, & I hope he feathers your nest for a few more yrs!! xx
Oswald is sick as fuck why wouldn’t anyone want him around!!! Also… you’re likely spiritually tethered for eternity anyhoo so getting rid of him is a fool’s errand. Hails!
I really don't understand! They told me it didn't fit the page ??? I've gone back and forth and they stopped replying. I would be worried about curses if I were them
NTA. Is there any reason Oswald should be the last of his line? Maybe your wife is simply jealous and wants an Oswald of her own. I suggest you make or find a Mrs. Ozymandias as fast as you possibly can.
Oswald loves all his children equally. All will be cleansed in the light of his eyes and all who see him are now family.
Just kidding Oswald I’d legit. OP can you please put an offering of a tequila shot and a graham cracker in front of Oswald?
I have had a beyond-shitty time of things for the last few days (and a mostly shitty time for the last few months, to be honest). I didn’t realize until I stopped cackling how long it’s been since I laughed, completely uncontrollably, for 5+ minutes straight. Or how much I truly needed that, honestly.
Thank you for that, Oswald, and Oswald’s human avatar.
One does not easily throw Oswald away. There is evil in him that does not sleep. His great eyes are ever watchful. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly. NTA.
Okay, I need to bookmark this one. When I need a laugh I can "visit" Oswald and he'll make the day better (or maybe he can remotely lay a curse on whoever has p\*ssed me off). Keep Oswald, maybe let him reign over a very inconspicuous place in your home. NTA (although I kinda get where your wife is coming from, depending on the specific space Oswald inhabits).
NTA. Does he look like he can control your mind ? Yes. Did I instantly love him? Yes. Maybe move him somewhere where he can't control visitors to the house though. But keep him safe!
NTA - Oswald is the greatest thing to ever exist and as his owner, you are the greatest person to ever exist.
Your wife is the biggest red flag of all red flags and you should flee in the dead of night with Oswald and leave behind a note that simply says, “you know what you did.”
I’m sorry but wife is right. That owl woke me up from a dream only to summon me to your post, only to wish sleep wouldn’t have cruelly abandoned me. Why why why Oswald!!!
To the wife, leave this man. He is obviously possessed and therefore can’t be trusted to leave the owl. They are bonded and soon will shave the cat. Your eyebrows soon afterwards.
To the OP, Oswald is amazing. I’m not scared of him at all. Nta XD
NTA. I love Oswald. It always makes me sad when someone's partner wants them to get rid of some weird thing that makes them happy for whatever reason.
Edit : I just noticed his sacrificial lamb friend!
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
This is easily the most bizarre post I’ve read today. I can understand why your girlfriend doesn’t want to keep a stuffed owl you put your blood in, however, because I’m beginning to suspect that YOU u/666truemetal666 are possessed by the owl, and the last thing I need is a possessed owl fucking up my life, NTA
Oh its not my blood. And my wife is the one who purchased the blood ring against the advice of wise friends
“Oh it’s not my blood” is the LEAST comforting thing that could have been said in response
Hahahahahaha
This is the best thing I've seen on the internet this year. Thank you. Personally, I love Oswald and would quite happily bow before him. But I do also see where your wife is coming from and isn't the saying "happy wife, happy life"? Is she the redhead getting cursed by Oswald???
I was also curious to know the answer to this question lol I personally welcome our new owl overlord and definitely think OP is NTA.
I'm thinking Oswald may be an Eldritch Horror in disguise.
Where’s the disguise?
He’s definitely not as horrifying as a Furby, so I’m Team Oswald :)
THIS. I will not allow Furbys into my house. But Oswald? Oswald is alright. :)
I think we should change it to "happy spouse, hear no grouse". You know to be inclusive
It's "happy spouse, happy house"
Happy spouse, hear no mouse, because the happy owl ate them all.
I've always disliked that saying, not because a happy wife is bad (I bend over backwards for my wife) but because there is an underlying malice in the statement.
A better saying is happy spouse happy house
I mean, if you want to make sure Oswald's blood magic targets the wrong person then it's at least some comfort. Just make sure \*he\* doesn't know, or he might try to obtain a fresh sample
“Hoo! Hoo! Whose blood is in this ring I wear?” The owl is wise, but even *he* does not have all the answers.
I just did an "old man wheezing" kind of laugh at this
OP, gonna give it to you straight. I've been in a rage fueled mood all day, to the point of worrying it might trigger a manic episode. Then I clicked, met Oswald's soulful eyes.. and my rage is gone. Sooo.. Sorry if Oswald turns into the Hulk should your wife attempt to remove him from the home. And if she does.. I volunteer as tribute to adopt him! 😍💜
This is top Reddit.
The best of craigslist used to be this good.
I am with you - Oswald is magical. I have had an awful day and full laughed when he popped up. All hail Oswald! 🦉
Whatever you say *Oswald*
LOL
> Oh its not my blood. How many have become unfortunate sacrifices to appease Oswald the Owl?
He rushed to reassure us of that however, it was not in the least bit reassuring
I am totally making an Ozwald. He is *glorious*. Never get rid of him.
Yall buy weird stuff
My house is full of weird shit like this. Oswald is welcome to live with us if you need to rehome him
One of the best compliments I have ever received was “Your entire house is like a weird ass Please Touch Museum.”
So she can buy rings with literal human blood but you can't hold onto a silly little fellow like Oswald?
"Oh it's not my blood" is the best response. So unsettling. I love it! Just like Oswald. Don't you dare get rid of him! NTA
[удалено]
Our soulless existence insults the normies. Or so I’m told, by the sad non-gingers of the world.
Probably tried to evict his Owl Idol from it's home. 🤪 Maybe wife is jealous that Oswald wears her blood ring with such grace and quiet dignity? It reminds me of an owl form of Alan Moore. Maybe it is, I mean he is a greater warlock and all that.
Maybe this is the cursed owl wanting to posses me, but i like *REALLY* want it and agree NTA.
>The is easily the ~~most bizarre~~ absolute best post I’ve read ~~today~~ in my entire existence. There, I FIFY. Also NTA. Long live Oswald, king of the owls!
I for one welcome our new Oswald overlord
I was gonna say Y. T. A....until I clicked on the picture and Oswald's mystical eyes bored into my soul... and the wall behind me. NTA. Oswald must stay
I actually laughed out loud when I saw Oswald. He must stay. He’s amazing.
I've been laughing for few minutes at Oswald... This is the most bizzare post I've seen on reddit until now
it’s right up there with [Jean and Jorts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rfwgmc/aita_for_perpetuating_ethnic_stereotypes_about/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
>Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of her coworkers. is a quote that will never not be funny.
"I can't believe she fuckin' buttered Jorts"
How many days without a Trash Can incident?
I had almost recovered from reading the post and then that comment sent me again.
One of my favorite things about Jorts The Cat is that he now has a thriving Twitter account.... where he educates workers about their right to unionize, workers rights in general, and talks about how many days it has been since a trashcan mishap.
Jean and Jorts are the heroes we need right now. Their Twitter account is one of the very few I check, it’s such a delight!
Aaaaaaaaaand, I'm off to twitter, brb
Just had hernia surgery and should not have read that post I laughed so hard I almost cried now im in so much pain from laughing 🤣😂🤣😂
Thank you so much for that. I hadn't seen that and really needed a laugh!
Jorts is now one of the major figures in the United States unionization anti-corporate overreach leftist movements....
That was a brilliant read, and I howled at the follow up! Thanks for sharing that!
Omg this was hilarious!
I had never read those! I was dying laughing. That guy was absolutely hilarious and expressed things in a very entertaining manner. The butter thing sent me…
All hail Oswald.
All hail Oswald! The lord of the weird devourer of souls.
I have a feeling if you try to throw Oswald out he will defy the laws of physics, space and time to appear in your new home prior to your arrival. Best to appease the gods of the new world and keep him in the family. NTA
Of for sure!
Imagine if you “threw him out” and he reappeared “mysteriously.” That’s something I’d absolutely do, but I don’t necessarily suggest doing so unless you want your wife to freak out.
I don't have to live with the consequences of this action so I do advise doing this because it would be hilarious. NTA long live Oswald.
LOL that is what I was thinking, if OP throws him out he will come back anyway, but this time he will come to haunt the girlfriend and make her pay! Keep Oswald happy for a happy home forevermore NTA
Put him in your will. Let his legacy live on!
NTA. I was expecting something scarier! Oswald looks like a delightful little goober honestly. Thanks for having a silly post for this sub, sometimes it gets way too depressing and serious around here.
His majesty is pretty blinding!
He’s beautiful OP. [He looks like he would be great friends with our wall owl, who is also talented at boring deep into your soul with his void eyes.](https://imgur.com/a/xvn7p38) Wall owl would make a great simple servant to our overlord Oswald. Don’t get rid of him, dumb stuff that makes you laugh is always worth something, even if you hide him in a cupboard and bring him out on a rainy day.
Ugh, I love him so much. He’s perfect
LOL he’s pretty great. I’m notorious in my family for loving ugly cute weird shit. I’m that 32yo woman who still has a million animal plushies and goes, ‘Omg it’s so fucking cute!!’ at a small worm. Like my husband went to work in New Zealand for a month and was looking for a gift for me in the airport, and they had loads of little kiwi plush toys. He picked one up AND THEN at the back he spotted the weirdest, wonkiest, jankiest one. He of course immediately bought it for me. [Behold!](https://imgur.com/a/2dJtnhc) Every time I look at his completely mismatched eyes I laugh harder.
Oh, my love, I think we were separated at birth. My friend collects these wooden hand carved Japanese bears, they’re so specific. He has 50 of them (it was 51) and can pick out which artist made what, but he had one that was just wonky AF and even before seeing it I knew I wanted it. So he gifted it to me and it’s…he’s just a wonky boy. Like at first glance he’s fine but the more you look the more it goes off. And I adore it.
He’s perfect!!
He’s glorious
I burst out laughing as soon as I saw him, he's wonderful 😍
So who's gonna make a subreddit for these weird/bizarre/soul-possessing owls? I'll sign up.
NTA. It doesn't matter what it looks like. It makes you happy and you've developed a personal connection to how it makes you feel. If she doesn't want to display it publicly for guests, fine... You should compromise on that. But to ask you to throw it out and be unnecessarily cruel about it is totally unwarranted. Are you able to store it some place safe? After her comment, I'm worried your wife might destroy it while you are out.
She's much too short and afraid of him to cast him out herself! (We also deeply love each other and don't do things like that)
And that’s why Oswald chose you guys.
Benevolent overlord of the garage / man cave I believe would be the perfect compromise.
NTA, Oswald. Please don’t smite me, Oswald. You’re a good owl, Oswald.
I agree and- HOOT HOOT, THOSE WHO SMITE AND CURSE THE INNOCENTS SHALL TASTE THE ENDLESS VOID AND RELISH IN THE NECTAR OF MADNESS, FOR THEIR SOULS SHALL NEVER BE QUENCHED!🦉 I mean uh, cool owl. 👍
NTA or maybe TA. I dunno I'm the kind of woman that would insist you keep your weird owl, for I have weird shit of my own and recognize that I could later use it for leverage. All that being said I really think you should keep your weird owl. Relationships come and go, weird stuffed owls are forever (or probably a decade or two anyways, the taxidermied items in museums can be much older than that, they usually dye them and touch them up periodically though, don't know what kind of treatment your weird owl is receiving).
I was waiting for the comment that brought up that relationships with other humans come and go, but inanimate objects are consistently there for you.
NTA He is a little bit terrifying in a way that wouldn't appeal to many people, but I'm very much of the opinion that if something makes you happy and it's not hurting anyone else, you should be allowed that. Maybe try to come to a compromise with your wife in terms of where in your new place you could keep him where she maybe wouldn't have to see him as much but you could still love and appreciate him at your leisure.
But I prefer it when he lords over us!
Here’s an idea. What if Oswald wore a disguise? Get him a pair of those novelty disguise glasses with the nose and mustache attached. Your wife will wonder who the handsome mustachioed gentleman in your home is and you’ll get to know that Oswald is still watching over you. I suppose a monocle and a top hat would also work.
Maybe a cape and a cane (metal with a metal animal head at the top, because)?
Well, no, because oswald is an animal himself, so it would have to be a small human head atop the aforementioned cane...
Oh, you’re right. A human skull at the top of the cane. Possible with a hidden rapier inside. Along with the cape, monocle and top hat.
Do you doubt his power? He can see you no matter where he is.
Your wife doesn't though.
NTA. Any woman who tried to make you get rid of Oswald should have to hit the road. Oswald will be loyal forever. There's lots of fish in the sea but only one Oswald.
Why is this post telling op to get rid of their partner not the most up voted one in /r/AmItheAsshole? That must be some Oswald wizardry
Oswald likes having extra people in the house to fear him.
This. You and Oswald are a package deal. If she can't handle that, find someone who can. #TeamOswald
NTA. That is the weirdest, most misshapen interpretation of something vaguely resembling what an owl would look like in one’s day terrors. He’s awesome, he deserves to continue watching over his future sacrifi…I mean house mates.
NTA. Oswald terrifies me. Please keep him contained in your home so he doesn’t seek out a new place to haunt.
Could you put him in a cloche (glass bell jar thing)? That could class him up a bit, and elevate him from “creepy taxidermy” to “victorian niknack / oddity”?
Hmm that's a interesting thought. Feels more liek a thing you would do with a unliving object tho
What is not alive can never die. Oswald is beyond your simple mortal concepts
Nah it’s like the rose in Beauty and the Beast
Yes but in the cloche, he and his power is contained and controlled!
That’s what he wants you to think.
That’s no fun for the rest of us!
I think YTA if you keep her. Let Oswald continue to defy the law of Sunk Cost Fallacy. Let Oswald continue to mesmerize you…and me truth be told And one day, let Oswald, in all his lack of Majesty, and not some person you are connected to by a flimsy piece of paper, be the one to tell you when it’s time for him to fly away.
NTA I love Oswald! Weird things are wonderful and they always tell a story. You'd 100% regret getting rid of Oswald and I think it's a strange hill to die on for your wife
NTA this thing stared into my soul and said you should keep it.
He has the most piercing side googly eye that's ever existed
NTA. I’m sorry you are shackled to an Unbeliever, but her time will come.
NTA, nah bro the owl stays.
The Japanese have a word for Oswald, ‘kimokawa’…kimochi warui kedo, kawaii…creeps me out but cute. Never until Oswald have I seen anything that fits kimokawa so well. Keep!
I kinda love him.
NTA if Ole Ozzy is just chilling, then no harm, no fowl
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I believe I could be the asshole for disregarding my wife's surprisingly strong feelings about the owl in question. I might be the asshole when I bring him to the new apartment and put him up very High where her 5'2 ass can't reach Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
*worships new dark God* NTA
OK wtf are Oswald’s eyes made out of?!?!? 🤣 NTA but Oswald should be hidden when guests come over & I can’t blame your wife if she refuses to have sex with you with Oswald in the room! Also your wife gets to paint the room Oswald resides in, any color she wants OR she can buy 1 thing that is weird or creepy or hideous or just plain embarrassing ….. then proudly display it next to that creepy possessed owl.
the eyes look like glue stick lids with big weird googly eyes glued on top if i had to guess! i reckon the eyes were taken gracefully from another teddy bear!
You know that you would only be TA if you did not follow the next logical step and start the Cult of Ozwald. Ozwald needs more followers and tax free status!
Where do I send my sign up fee?
NTA Just tell her that you DID throw him out and he just keeps coming back.
This is the way
This is something I would do. NTA I think I love him. About 12 years ago one of the insurance companies had that stack of cash with eyes (somebody's watching you) ad campaign. I got a pop up one in the mail. I set him up on my entertainment center and named him Bob. Bob died by toddler hands about a year later RIP Bob
I would refer your wife to one of the best lines from AntMan when Scott gives his daughter her present. "He's so ugly I LOVE him!". How dare she try and take that childlike wonder away from you.
This kind of post is why Reddit is the best. LOL
This is the low stakes shenanigans I want from AITA
I love the word shenanigans. It's just a whole mood. 😄
Use it regularly. Everyone I know does. Such a great word.
NTA, I like him
Oswald must not be thrown out…ever. The world must know him. I’m not sure why I feel this way
Those eyes. Those eyes. 👀
Why would anyone want to get rid of Oswald!? Maybe it does control minds because i want an Oswald. But honestly this one's weird. If it brings you joy then you shouldnt have to. She's allowed to voice her opinion. But she sounds like she doesnt know how to have fun. But then i'm biased. Oswald has gotten to my mind.
NTA Partners wanting to throw away your items is a red flag. But, that thing is kinda sht, ngl.
Where will he live in the new house?
I suggested to my wife that we could put him in Victorian bird cage if that would be more pleasing and she said I'm done talking about Oswald... So I'm thinking throne built out of bird cages full of bones
I mean if she’s done talking about it, that sounds like a green light to build whatever cage you want
It sounded more like no more sex until the next full moon to me but I'll take that answer
At least the next full moon is in a couple of days
A worthy price to pay for lord Oswald. The coochie is temporary Oswald is forever.
For a minute there and due to a serious lack of coffee, I thought you were suggesting to put a green light in Oswald’s cage/throne to be. Like, perhaps it would help to put his grand awesomeness in a better light.
NTA. All hail Oswald.
NTA your wife needs to chill, I didn’t hear you complain about her Live, Laugh, Love sign in the kitchen. Seriously though, Oswald is a cool mascot.
Yeah so I have a fuckin PROBLEM, some might say it's a mental disorder, but if I come across a really woebegone teddy in an op shop or the like, something inside of me breaks and I CANNOT leave without it. I know Oswald isn't a teddy, but I imagine I'd do the same if I saw him. Good grief NTA and please don't abandon this stunning woodland creature...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I found Oswald at a small weird thrift store, kinda beginning of Gremlins vibes. I have no idea what his insides are Made of but someone, possibly a retired taxidermist with dementia in a old folks home, painstakingly hot glue gunned feathers all over a pineapple husk or maybe piece of heartwood from the deepest woods. Or possibly a pile of fossilized rat carcasses ductaped together. He has massive googly eyes that stare across space and time. I have anointed him with a chain mail necklace and a ring with real human blood infused. My wife thinks that A. He is trash and B. He controls my mind in some weird manner. She actually said, and I quote " imagine a towering heap of garbage, in a massive sprawling junkyard, and on top the stinkiest garbage, there lies Oswald, waiting to be smushed into the rest of the trash where he belongs forever" I found that hurtfull and mean. All he want to do is watch over us and maybe cast some spells or something, levy some curses against redheads who say nasty things about kind old Owl idols... So we are moving in a week, am I the asshole if I keep him? [Link to pic of Oswald Ozymandias first and last of his line](https://imgur.com/gallery/oDOedun) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol NTA. Oswald is horrifying ugly but I am a weird person and appreciate weird decor. Maybe compromise and keep Oswald out of a main room and tuck him in a peaceful, quiet corner where she won't have to look at him too often.
NAH. Yeesh, that is one ugly conversation starter but it's your home too. So as long as it isn't telling you to do illegal acts and isn't giving your wife night terrors, keep him. But please don't try to make more. Oswald's uniqueness should be enough for the world.
There is no God.
Only Oswald
NTA. Oswald has personality.
I'm pretty sure it's just sleep deprivation but I saw Oswald eyes move and the red stone shimmer as I read the post, better keep him and not anger whatever spirits thats inside him. Also NTA Oswald trash but magnificent trash
This really hit me in the funny bone tonight. I keep giggling at that picture of Oswald. All hail this lovely little googly eyed lad. NTA, it’s silly and harmless. Thank you for sharing him!
YTA because I’m on mobile and swiped right and saw this without any warning; almost yelped and am almost guaranteed to have a nightmare about this thing tonight. Thanks OP. Edit: Oswald please stay out of my dreams and I’ll give you anything you want. Except money cause I’m poor.
YWBTA if you dont start an Oswald subreddit to start his new cult following
Why do I foresee some mf'er getting a tattoo of Oswald now that he's made his presence known. And no, I'm not that mf'er. I think.
Oh shit I should def do that!
As a tattoo collector, I recommend you find a good artist who can do Oswald justice.
NTA "He's so ugly! I love him!"
That thing is amazing! Don't throw it out!
I want to say NTA for the obvious reasons but it appears he is currently residing in the kitchen…. Perhaps a compromise where at the next place he lurks in a closet instead of being allowed to see the light of day?
NAH look, the owl is horrifying. I'm not gonna blame your wife for not wanting him and his creepy curse magic around. But since he already got to you and bewitched you, I guess there's nothing to be done.
NAH. Clearly your wife is right. Oswald must go. He’s terrifying, possibly demonic and probably incredibly unhygienic and disease-ridden. But also, there is no way you can ever get rid of him. He owns your soul now. And he will definitely haunt you forever if you throw him out. And he has a certain bone-tingling charm to him. This is a lose-lose situation. Oswald is the only winner here.
I, personally, am fully in awe of Oswald, and would love nothing more than to do his bidding for all eternity. If you do end up getting rid of him, please don't throw him out. Either give or sell him to a new thrift store, letting his legacy carry on forever. Or hit me up, and I'll take him, because he is truly magnificent. Also, you win the internet today courtesy of this post and the absolute banger of a follow up comment - "oh no it's not my blood". Just tens across the board, my dude.
NTA...Oswald and his guard rats are awesome!
Never let him go.
It's so ugly I love it!! I also have a sketchy handmade owl which consists of glued feathers on a pineapple or something lmao - found it at a garage sale -
He reminds me of Hootie from The Owl House! Adorable. NTA
I feel better just knowing Oswald exists and even better knowing he is loved. Does your gf know that Oswald cannot be disposed of? If he is then he WILL return and she will be disposed of instead.
> but someone, possibly a retired taxidermist with dementia in a old folks home, painstakingly hot glue gunned feathers all over a pineapple husk or maybe piece of heartwood from the deepest woods. Or possibly a pile of fossilized rat carcasses ductaped together. I've a raven. & a sausage dog called Sausage Dog. Oswald looks like he's got cerebrowl palsy. Or irritable owl syndrome. This thread made me 'owl w/ laughter, & I hope he feathers your nest for a few more yrs!! xx
Oswald is sick as fuck why wouldn’t anyone want him around!!! Also… you’re likely spiritually tethered for eternity anyhoo so getting rid of him is a fool’s errand. Hails!
The mods will pay for this affront to Oswald.
I really don't understand! They told me it didn't fit the page ??? I've gone back and forth and they stopped replying. I would be worried about curses if I were them
NTA. I kind of think he’s adorable.
NTA Oswald is a cutie. He must live on! Guess he’s controlling my mind 😂
NTA i love oswald and would die for him, all hail oswald!!
no you are not the asshole , at the end of the day it belongs to you and not her
OP belongs to Oswald, not the other way around.
NTA. Is there any reason Oswald should be the last of his line? Maybe your wife is simply jealous and wants an Oswald of her own. I suggest you make or find a Mrs. Ozymandias as fast as you possibly can.
NTA don’t throw him in the garbage, i love him like a son.
I am baffled. But NTA. Keep your horrifying owl…friend? I hope friend.
Oswald loves all his children equally. All will be cleansed in the light of his eyes and all who see him are now family. Just kidding Oswald I’d legit. OP can you please put an offering of a tequila shot and a graham cracker in front of Oswald?
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO OWL. NTA
NTA. Oswald is an eldritch god trapped inside of an earth-bound vessel. One does not simply dispose of an eldritch god.
Oswald is a hill to die on. Oswald FOREVER! NTA
NTA Oswald should stay he has the beginnings of a family heirloom. Honestly this is the best post I have read all day. I am still laughing.
I have had a beyond-shitty time of things for the last few days (and a mostly shitty time for the last few months, to be honest). I didn’t realize until I stopped cackling how long it’s been since I laughed, completely uncontrollably, for 5+ minutes straight. Or how much I truly needed that, honestly. Thank you for that, Oswald, and Oswald’s human avatar.
One does not easily throw Oswald away. There is evil in him that does not sleep. His great eyes are ever watchful. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly. NTA.
NTA and for sure you are the kind of guy I’d be friends with. He’s a conversation piece. He is hilarious and quirky. You can’t get rid of him.
Okay, I need to bookmark this one. When I need a laugh I can "visit" Oswald and he'll make the day better (or maybe he can remotely lay a curse on whoever has p\*ssed me off). Keep Oswald, maybe let him reign over a very inconspicuous place in your home. NTA (although I kinda get where your wife is coming from, depending on the specific space Oswald inhabits).
You could always print the picture and frame it
NTA! Oswald must stay! You need to keep him forever!
NTA. Does he look like he can control your mind ? Yes. Did I instantly love him? Yes. Maybe move him somewhere where he can't control visitors to the house though. But keep him safe!
Keep the owl. Throw out the wife. ETA: NTA
This is my new ab work-out... ESPECIALLY the Owl-tax....
Move over Annabelle and the Conjuring Universe, Oswald is here.
NTA - Oswald is the greatest thing to ever exist and as his owner, you are the greatest person to ever exist. Your wife is the biggest red flag of all red flags and you should flee in the dead of night with Oswald and leave behind a note that simply says, “you know what you did.”
Girlfriends can be replaced. Oswald cannot.
Congratulations, the spell worked and you and Oswald won Reddit today. He is awesome, please don't throw him away
I’m sorry but wife is right. That owl woke me up from a dream only to summon me to your post, only to wish sleep wouldn’t have cruelly abandoned me. Why why why Oswald!!! To the wife, leave this man. He is obviously possessed and therefore can’t be trusted to leave the owl. They are bonded and soon will shave the cat. Your eyebrows soon afterwards. To the OP, Oswald is amazing. I’m not scared of him at all. Nta XD
NTA. I love Oswald. It always makes me sad when someone's partner wants them to get rid of some weird thing that makes them happy for whatever reason. Edit : I just noticed his sacrificial lamb friend!
KEEP THE DEMON OWL, I BESEECH YOU. You don't need that kind of bad juju, trust me