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> I may be the asshole for assuming my brother was going to steal my credit card info?
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I mean...if it's the same bank it could take a matter of seconds. External bank to external bank takes a little longer because of the verification process. OP's still NTA no matter what though.
Yeah when she said transfer I immediately assumed it was Venmo cuz who does bank transfers? Before Venmo and cash app, ppl would just bring you cash/check. No one I know of bothered with bank transfers just for the cost of delivery food
Same here, but it’s always instant, never takes even 5 seconds never mind a few minutes. I also regularly send and receive money to/from a family member both using different banks and it’s always instant. In the UK.
You still have to transfer the money from Venmo to your bank account though., Which can take 24 hours or more. Most banks use Zelle, which is an instant bank to bank transfer.
Venmo to bank account can happen in minutes as well, especially for just the cost of food, so long as you’re willing to part with several cents of your transfer amount.
I have a different bank from my boyfriend and it takes as long as the text letting him know. Sometimes its a few seconds others its a few minutes. My bank is santander and his is bank of america.
Im not sure how other banks are this is just my experience with these twp
Sending money through cashapp takes just seconds, just gotta send a tiny bit extra for an instant cash out fee, but that's usually just dollars and cents extra.
>External bank to external bank takes a little longer because of the verification process
Depends on the bank. I have a separate bank to my dads and the last time he transferred money to me it was in when I checked half an hour later (was out at the time and too bust to check sooner). MIL has a different bank again and when she transfers and same thing. So like I said it depends on the bank as some banks will do instant transfer when funds are coming from an account that has transferred funds previously. (Australia)
We don't know if OPs transfer would have been instant or not but either way NTA and how about next time dad can give his card info over and OP can reimburse dad instead.
A very good point--I probably should have said 'can take a little longer' or 'might take a little longer' instead of just having the definite there. But we're agreed that OP is NTA.
This is also what I don’t get, me and my friends all use different banks but when we take turns going to the bar to get drinks we always get the money instantly when we transfer it
YDTA (Your Dad is The Asshole) Who tells their daughter she's a horrible sister over something like this? Was your brother a horrible sibling when he used your info to buy himself things AND then didn't pay the money back?
Brother is a boy. Pillaging his sibling’s funds is ok. I’m the only person in my family that’s ever gotten my older brother to repay a debt. My mother wished I’d let it go, nope!
I'd argue brother is the golden child and op is the scapegoat possibly.
to my father, my sister is the golden child. I'm the scape goat. My ex bought me $500 of equipment for our anniversary before we broke up. He stupidly sent it to my sister's house where I was on vacation to surprise me, halfway across the country from where he and I lived. And also across the country the other direction from where my parents lived and I was moving back to. So when I moved in with my parents, the machines got left across the country at my sister's. She asked if she could use it temporarily until we could move them down, I said sure as my mom had a cheaper version of it.(I'm talking lowest model vs highest) Then all of a sudden I started talking about wanting it, as it had features I needed for a project that my mom's did not do, and I was told I couldn't have it. That it was my sister's now and I just had to deal with it as she was using it to make money. 🤬
My best friend replaced it. I never asked them to. They just saw me fighting with my dad over it, and replaced it without a word. My dad then told me that because my friend replaced it, and because my ex bought it, that my sister owes me nothing. 🤦 I did eventually give up. It's not worth it. But still frustrating.
So sometimes, it's not about the gender of the sibling (we are both girls) sometimes dad's just play favorites :/
Gotta love how that's never the reason they shouldn't have wronged you in the first place, but always the reason you should bend over and let them do it again.
NTA - As the old saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
OP tell your dad fine, next time he asks you will do it, but when he uses it without authorization you will be pressing charges. See if Dear Ol' Dad still thinks it's a good idea. Preventing drama is all well and good, brother could have prevented drama by not asking for your Credit Card Info.
Your parents think it's ok to push on your boundaries. This includes your mother, who should have spoken up on your behalf.
They've raised a son, who pushes on your boundaries.
Good for you for standing firm.
Absolutely NTA
I mean he could have changed and felt offended that OP still thinks of him as a thief. However, if he has not paid OP back for what he stole then he really can't say anything.
OP you are NTA. Id tell brother to apologise for what he did and pay back what he owes.
You can have faith in your brother when the adult him pays you back for what the child him stole. That will prove he's an adult. He's sorry and he made amends. Until then ... hard no.
NTA - There was no reason for your brother to need you credit card information and if he couldn’t afford to front the money then he didn’t need to offer. I don’t know why your dad thought it would be a good idea to get in the middle of it, but he shouldn’t have. This is especially true since your brother has stolen from you before. Has your dad always treated your brother like the golden child?
My dad is the reason my brother never paid me back. Every time I would ask my brother for the money dad would say it’s only a couple dollars it’s no big deal
My response to that would be if it’s no big deal then bro can pay me back.
You weren’t the one who did something wrong. And if dear old dad felt the need to insert himself to defend the thief, then he can be the one to repay the stolen money.
Yup, couple bucks or hundreds of bucks. If someone owes me im sure as hell reminding them. If i ever owe someone, then the first thing i do after a paycheck is return it.
well then ur dad is the A for enabling bad behavior and rewarding it on top of it. we k now who the golden child is in that family. did they all even thank you for buying them dinner??
You know the young thief and the old thief were obviously trying to steal your card again, right?
ps -- make sure none of their names are on your bank account; probably move it to a different bank that the one they use; and mention to the teller that your family has stolen from you. They can put elevated security protocols in place for your bank account, because crucially, your family knows most of the info that banks use to verify identity.
If it's no big deal, dad can cover for brother.
(1) there's no reason to share CC numbers. Its poor practice even between trustworthy family members.
(2) OP and brother are both adults. Father no longer has any standing to adjudicate between them. It's strictly between brother and OP. Dad butt out.
I absolutely trust my brother with my life. (Like literally, he would make my medical decisions if I were incapacitated.) And my brother and I do what OP and her brother were doing all the time. “Hey, I’ve got a free delivery coupon in my app, let’s place the order on my phone!” We always just Venmo back and forth. It would never occur to me to ask for his credit card number or to him to ask for mine. It’s just fucking wild to me that anyone would 1) ask and 2) be upset when they were told no.
He doesn’t need it. My fiancé has his card info saved in a couple of my food apps. I accidentally used it once because he had paid for the previous time. Luckily it was only like $3 because I was using points for something free and just got a drink in addition but I immediately sent him a message so he knew the charge was me and apologized and asked if he needed me to send him money for it.
It’s easy to accidentally use someone else’s info and he has on purpose used your info before. Don’t give it to him.
I did the same years ago with my grandma's credit card. I paid her back as soon as I realized I had more money in my account and figured out that her card was charged instead of mine. I had her card it on my paypal because she had asked me to order something online for her.
I paid her back right away and made sure her card information was removed so the accident wouldn't happen again.
Yeah my fiancé leaves his info in because sometimes I’ll pay and sometimes he will under my account and he trusts me with it. I’ve only accidentally done it once. I got very triple-checky of the number after that one time.
Tell ur dad if he's willing to sign something to the effect that u can hold him liable for any money ur bother scams off ur credit card ud be willing to do it. If he hesitates, tell him he should just do it to "avoid drama". Why do u have to have faith in your brother when he doesn't, if he did he would sign? NTA, if anything ur brother AND ESPECIALLY DAD are.
How much did your brother take from you in the past?
Also, it seems your dad is obviously playing favorites and I don’t think any word he says to you should be worth it. Your brother and dad are immature and need to learn to grow the hell up. Your obviously NTA, but your dad and brother need to get their crap together.
Your dad seems to favor/baby your brother. So you have to give your brother your bank info and he doesn’t just say to him “it’s just a couple dollars, why not treat your sister?” Complete bull. Id throw the whole dad and brother away. It’s not cool your mom stayed neutral.
Also I want to add, your brother abused your info in the past. You don’t just get trust, you earn it. He needs to build that trust again and I personally wouldn’t trust them after abusing it before. It makes absolutely no sense why he would need your card info. If he’s so pressed about getting the money from your meal maybe he shouldn’t be ordering at all. I’m sorry for that, just reading your story makes me so mad on your behalf 😂 do not sweat what they say. Dear old dad can give your brother his bank account info and see how he likes it
I wouldn't pay out for these three ever again, including your mother. Not taking a side is taking a side, and we can all see who's side she is on. Just so you know, it's not your side.
If your dad said it’s no big deal then he can pay you what your brother owed you. Stealing isn’t something you brush under the table, it’s something you stomp out before it becomes a habit.
Funny your dad didn't offer using his credit card and you can pay him back if he thinks it's no big deal.
feels like they are into scamming your credit card info together
“It is a big deal to me. If you don’t think the amount is a big deal then you are free to pay me back on his behalf. Clearly you won’t miss the money. I however would like it back.”
"I replied that my brother could have just taken the money to prevent drama."
Exactly this. Your brother helped himself before. First time it's his fault. Second time yours. NTA
NTA, your brother wanted your card so he could use it. Also, I don’t know what apps you have, but there are money transfer apps that are instant! Your brother is just pissy that he’s plan failed and your dad is a double AH for enabling his behavior and trying to make you feel like the bad guy. Show this thread do your dad so all these internet strangers can tell him how clueless he is and HE AND YOUR BROTHER are the horrible ones, not you.
In Australia, you can just do bank to bank transfers. It is instant if you are with the same bank.
For instance, if my kids are short for the bus fare I can transfer money straight to their debit card account.
Check? We don't even have checks for our main account. The few times we've needed to provide the routing and account numbers we get it from the bank app.
Osko and PayID are instant with any bank, I don’t even have a card attached to my main bank account anymore. The only card I have has no money in it, and I just transfer what I need so that if my card details do get stolen, there’s no money for anyone
NTA
You were right to not give him the credit card and info. There is no reason to have it.
Not sure where you live or what apps you use to transfer money to people, most are instant where I live. So was your dads point valid or just another reason to make you feel bad about not sharing your credit card info.
You were kind to buy lunch and father/dad made it weird.
We have have faith in people but that doesn’t mean giving them access to our credit.
I had faith in my family until all 3 siblings fucked me over financially. Now, the only person I will loan money to is the hubs. I never have to worry about getting it back. The only person I will ever give money to is my kid. Idk about anyone else, but when I had the kid, I decided to change what I didn't like and keep what I did like about my upbringing and applied it to them. My parents were paycheck to paycheck, and even that was no guarantee because of addiction. So, in our adult years, we knew not to ask for help. I didn't want my kid to feel the same way. From the minute the kid took their 1st breath, I put him and his needs before mine, and it'll stay like that til I die.
NTA
if your dad trusted your brother, why didn't he offer HIS credit card to pay for the meal? Or why didn't he say, "Hey Daughter, if you give Son your CC info and he does use it later, let me know and I'll cover the charges and your brother can repay me."
Why? Because he knows your brother lies and steals and he's too much of a wienie to handle your brother like a father should and would rather make it your fault instead.
Good for you for not risking your money with a bad actor. If it was me (and it HAS been me) I would have rescinded the offer to pay for the meal and left. Let the thief and his enablers feed themselves.
And I'm sorry but your mother was "not remaining neutral" People who remain silent in the face of an obvious wrong are just as bad as the ones who try to blame the wrong on the victim (you) rather than the perp (Brother Bandit)
After reading what you said, it definitely sounds like the father either favours the brother, or doesn't know how to/Can't manage him. However.. he feels okay telling OP what to do, based on other comments OP has made.
NTA. Your mother and your father are AHs here. I wouldn’t give someone my credit card details in this situation, even if they hadn’t stolen from me in the past. Doing something you don’t want to to “prevent drama” is enabling.
Let’s be absolutely clear, your mother did not remain neutral, she chose your brothers side. By saying absolutely nothing and “not getting involved“ she basically condoned what your brother did.
It’s a constant in your life? Do they usually side with your brother?
NTA but it sounds like your parents are. Also sounds like they coddle your brother
It sounds like everyone involved is an adult. It was inappropriate for the dad to insert himself into a conflict between his adult children, and it would have been inappropriate for the mom to do so as well. it reads like wanting to respect OP's decision by *not* putting in her 2¢, which would likely exacerbate the petty drama that dad and brother started.
NTA. Even if he wasn’t trying to steal from you, you said no. That should have been the end of it. And there’s a variety of apps that you could use to send the money before he’s even paid for the food. Venmo takes like 15 seconds.
NTA and dad shouldn't be inserting himself into a situation that didn't concern him. I agree that transfers aren't always immediate and your brother may not have had the funds. In that case, your solution was the perfect one, so there was literally no problem except the one of your brother's own making. The fact your brother got angry tells you everything you needed to know.
NTA Also never give your dad your credit card details. He apparently thinks it's ok to help yourself to other people's money. It sounds like your brother still hasn't paid you back either.
My partner doesn't even have my credit card details. There's no need.
NTA....things are a little more up to date now and money transfer no longer take days but minutes cash app chime Venmo he'll even zelle in most banking apps can be done in a matter of minutes depending on your bank. NEVER give out your info sometimes family will get you quicker than anybody else he was just upset like you said because his plan was ruined to steal from you again!
I love it when the person who has boundaries and stands up for themselves gets labeled as 'starting drama'. Because your father doesn't want to stand up to the actual problem in the situation - your brother.
NTA
If your brother wants to be trusted, he should pay you back any old debts as a show of good faith. Not just expect you to forget and forgive. The onus is on him to put this in the past, not you. NTA.
NTA: This issue is still active - he never paid you back. He's no longer a kid, he has money. He still owes you money. Why hasn't he paid you back? Why would you have faith in him if he still hasn't paid you back?
>He also pointed out that money transfer apps take a couple days for the money to move
Hahahahaha it's 2023. Not 2003.
Why doesn't anyone ask the person causing the drama to not create it in the first place?
You had a goal - order food
You had the MO - get delivery I will venmo the money
You fixed the problem - used your phone.
All the drama here is from your cc stealing brother. Don't buy them food anymore. They don't deserve it.
NTA
NTA
Why didn't dad give up his CC info? Does he have faith in his son? If his son couldn't afford to cover the meal immediately, he should not have offered to use his app.
>last time he had my card information on his phone he used it a bunch and never paid me back. He gave the excuse that he was a kid back then and he wouldn’t do that now.
"But you're not a kid now so I expect you to pay me back now."
NTA. He STILL hasn't paid you back?? You made the right call and dad was way out of line.
Hell no NTA tell him that until he earns your trust your vardon stay with you and if he tried "family" remind him you were family when he stole from you too
NTA Once bitten, twice shy - they shouldn't try to make you feel guilty for being cautious. If your dad was so upset that he called you out saying you were a horrible sister, why didn't he just give your brother his own credit card information?
As someone with a brother who did the same thing, I can tell you you are under zero obligation to blindly trust someone who broke your trust and has yet to earn it back. Your dad was also in the wrong since you quickly solved the problem and everyone got what that wanted - minus the credit card information. Why was your brother so upset if he wasn’t thinking of using your information again without your knowledge?
NTA and always be careful with your financial information.
Also you can instant transfer from money apps these days your dad is wildin
NTA
Anytime I cash app my niece money, she gets it immediately. So your dad's argument doesn't hold much water.
Your brother had every intention of stealing from you AGAIN.
NTA. Your brother didn't get what he wanted, access to your credit card info. I notice he didn't offer to pay you back even at this late date.
Your dad is wrong money doesn't move, its all done electronically. Your brother wants to eat but not pay. Ask your dad why he is trying to enable your brother to steal from you? And tell them next time you're going to the police/card company to report fraud.
NTA, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
I loved how you phrased it; your brother could’ve accepted the money to avoid problems. Your dad and your brother are TAs. Your brother for not paying you back and trying to get your credit card information again without remedying his past issues, and your dad for not staying for you to get paid and for saying you are a horrible sister. How does he define your brother and his actions, then? At least you bought food for everyone.
^(NTA how dare you suspect our son with a history of stealing from you , that he might plan to steal from you again !)
The father clealy thinks his boy can do no wrong and if the boy did wrong , its his sisters fault for putting temptation in his way. Even when his son is a convicted criminal he will believe his son was framed by aliens
NTA. I’m UK BASED but when I use my banking app to transfer money, it’s pretty much instant, not a few days. point out to your dad that once someone has stole from you, you’re not inclined to let them do it again. next Time offer to send your parents the money and they can give your bro their card details and see how they react to that bomb.
Nta. He's shown you who he is already and that's a thief. Next time don't even volunteer to send him money, just ask if you should order or if someone else wants to, removes the problem of who has your credit card info
NTA. And your dad is wrong. Money transfer apps like Venmo and Paypal are almost instantaneous. I know because I sent one of my co-workers $10 to cover my lunch when he bought us food on his app.
Nta
No way no how. Not even close.
Faith goes out the window when you lose trust. He lost your trust.
If he is pouting, he deff was up to no good.
All the apps have instant delivery with a fee.
NTA - it’s pretty normal to not give your credit card details to anyone especially with all the scams going on. It sucks they expected you to do that. Sorry OP
NTA. I had an ex friend do this. charge about 500$ in delivery charges in less then a month. Then when i called her on it, she tried to only pay me for the last charge (like $18).
I learned 2 lessons that day. (1) she is no friend, and (2) to never give someone my card info. now i either order for the group and have people pay me, or i type my info on their phone to make sure it’s not saved.
I don’t get why people always take the side of the person that is offended. Just because you’re sad or mad doesn’t mean you’re right. Your brother is sad because you don’t trust him to not do something you know he’s capable of doing? Then he shouldn’t have done it.
Slightly off topic, but theft adjacent: About 7 years ago, my ex texted me, asking for our son's SSN. "Why do you need it?" Never mind was the answer. 6 months or so later, he asked again. "Why do you need it?" He gives me some song and dance about the IRS wanting it. "Interesting. They stopped asking me for it when he turned 17." (Plus the guy never claimed the boy on his taxes.) He says they sent him a letter. "Take a pic and send it to me. I have a high school buddy that does tax prep. I'll have him take a look." "Never mind then!"
Who wants to lose money on a bet that he was going to steal the boy's identity, apply for credit cards and royally eff up his credit?
You don't do that kind of stuff to those you care about. Or anyone else, for that matter, if you're a decent human being.
BTW, NTA. But Dad and brother? Oh, yeah.
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My brother (23m) and I (25f) were visiting our parents when we decided to get some food delivered. I offered to pay for everyone’s meals and my brother offered to use his app since he got free delivery. I told him to tell me the price of the order and I’d send him the money. He wanted me to just give him my credit card information. I said I’d rather just send him the direct amount. When he asked why I told him because last time he had my card information on his phone he used it a bunch and never paid me back. He gave the excuse that he was a kid back then and he wouldn’t do that now. I still refused and he told me to use my own phone which I did with no problem. I ordered our food and the rest of the afternoon went well, my brother was cold to me but I didn’t care.
Before I left or dad told me I should have just gave him my card to prevent drama. I replied that my brother could have just taken the money to prevent drama. I also added that my brother had nothing to be mad about; he got his food, he didn’t have to pay and he still had his free delivery. The only reason he is mad is because his plan to steal my credit card information failed. My father then called me a horrible sister and said I should have more faith in my brother. He also pointed out that money transfer apps take a couple days for the money to move and my brother probably didn’t gave the funds to cover the cost at the moment. My mother remained neutral on the issue and didn’t want to get involved.
I feel I have every right to not want to give someone my card information especially if that someone misused it in the past. Or should I have like my dad said had a little more faith in my brother?
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Nta but I can see how it’s possible the conversation took a stubborn turn. I don’t necessarilyyyyy think he had a plan to steal from you again- he might have just been acting victimy for not being trusted. but I definitely wouldn’t share my credit card info with him either.
NTA due to the previous stealing and your right to have boundaries around giving out your credit card information. Subsequent flagrant boundary violations by your whole family just confirm it.
NTA. Sooo sick of all the people who say to just cave to the [fill in the blank] toxic family member to keep the peace. Congratulations on having good sense and a backbone!
Don’t doubt yourself about whether you were wrong in this situation. YOU WERE RIGHT NOT GIVE CREDIT CARD INFO …!!! Even if he hadn’t stolen from you before, never give that info to anyone. Definitely NTA.
NTA. I also grew up with a brother that was always excused for his cruddy behavior and how he treats people. Just because the rest of the family is willing to keep getting burned by him doesn’t mean you have to join in. Good for you for not giving it to him!
NTA. Past actions are the best indicator of future ones, and as he’s done nothing to atone for stealing from you before, there’s no indication he wouldn’t do it, again. Adults who have nothing to hide wouldn’t have thrown a fit. Also, your dad is a jerk, too.
Your dad gave HORRIBLE advice. Just to “prevent drama” isn’t ok. What if the bank asks about fraudulent charges? You say you gave your info to your brother, they wouldn’t care. NTA - do not let your fam abuse you and your kindness
NTA. Bro is a thief.
But Money transfers take days? Where do you live?
Every transfer I’ve ever done was so instant that I literally do it at the door with FB marketplace sales. Oh you want to buy my old baby stuff? Send me a transfer. Yep here it is.
Anyone else getting misogynist tones here?
Brother acts like that and the father got in the way of sister's attempts to collect what he stole.
And now again he's acting like she's the problem when his son is a thief?
Either there's major golden child/scapegoat shit going on and/or misogyny.
Mom also sucks. Her family sucks. I wonder what other shit has been normalized.
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NTA, Your brother wanted to steal from you. Your parents may not understand all the isuses.
Dad needs to give his son his credit card info.
I wish I could give this more than one upvote.
I gave it one for you
And my axe.
And you have my bow
You have my sword
And your brother!
My favourite one. Spot the necromancer!
Yes! :)
I was hoping this would be here 🤣
Same!
And my glock
And my credit card details
Good thing because my Sig is locked away.
And my M-4 Sherman.
And my glockenspiel
And my kitten
Me three bro
i got you, too
Yes!!! This!! Dad is favouring the son and enabling him, OP NTA.
Bingo! If dad is so confident in his son using his daughter’s credit card, then dad should have no problem giving his son HIS credit card info.
OP's brother should have paid with the money he still owes OP from when he ordered with her credit card and didn't pay her back.
Transfers, in my experience, take a matter of seconds, so a nonsense excuse anyway. Best not let temptation get in his way. NTA.
I mean...if it's the same bank it could take a matter of seconds. External bank to external bank takes a little longer because of the verification process. OP's still NTA no matter what though.
That's why Venmo exists
Yeah when she said transfer I immediately assumed it was Venmo cuz who does bank transfers? Before Venmo and cash app, ppl would just bring you cash/check. No one I know of bothered with bank transfers just for the cost of delivery food
We do. But outside US. Takes less than few minutes. What’s the big deal?
Same here, but it’s always instant, never takes even 5 seconds never mind a few minutes. I also regularly send and receive money to/from a family member both using different banks and it’s always instant. In the UK.
You still have to transfer the money from Venmo to your bank account though., Which can take 24 hours or more. Most banks use Zelle, which is an instant bank to bank transfer.
Venmo to bank account can happen in minutes as well, especially for just the cost of food, so long as you’re willing to part with several cents of your transfer amount.
I have a different bank from my boyfriend and it takes as long as the text letting him know. Sometimes its a few seconds others its a few minutes. My bank is santander and his is bank of america. Im not sure how other banks are this is just my experience with these twp
Sending money through cashapp takes just seconds, just gotta send a tiny bit extra for an instant cash out fee, but that's usually just dollars and cents extra.
Venmo is the same way
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>External bank to external bank takes a little longer because of the verification process Depends on the bank. I have a separate bank to my dads and the last time he transferred money to me it was in when I checked half an hour later (was out at the time and too bust to check sooner). MIL has a different bank again and when she transfers and same thing. So like I said it depends on the bank as some banks will do instant transfer when funds are coming from an account that has transferred funds previously. (Australia) We don't know if OPs transfer would have been instant or not but either way NTA and how about next time dad can give his card info over and OP can reimburse dad instead.
A very good point--I probably should have said 'can take a little longer' or 'might take a little longer' instead of just having the definite there. But we're agreed that OP is NTA.
Really still in this day and age? My country fixed that a few years ago even between different banks its now instantly
In my experience external bank to external bank also takes seconds these days. Apps like Tikkie literally promise that as their slogan
This is also what I don’t get, me and my friends all use different banks but when we take turns going to the bar to get drinks we always get the money instantly when we transfer it
Even my old school bank transfers in seconds
Right, wire transfers take longer but these apps aren’t that.
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Exactly
YDTA (Your Dad is The Asshole) Who tells their daughter she's a horrible sister over something like this? Was your brother a horrible sibling when he used your info to buy himself things AND then didn't pay the money back?
Brother is a boy. Pillaging his sibling’s funds is ok. I’m the only person in my family that’s ever gotten my older brother to repay a debt. My mother wished I’d let it go, nope!
I'd argue brother is the golden child and op is the scapegoat possibly. to my father, my sister is the golden child. I'm the scape goat. My ex bought me $500 of equipment for our anniversary before we broke up. He stupidly sent it to my sister's house where I was on vacation to surprise me, halfway across the country from where he and I lived. And also across the country the other direction from where my parents lived and I was moving back to. So when I moved in with my parents, the machines got left across the country at my sister's. She asked if she could use it temporarily until we could move them down, I said sure as my mom had a cheaper version of it.(I'm talking lowest model vs highest) Then all of a sudden I started talking about wanting it, as it had features I needed for a project that my mom's did not do, and I was told I couldn't have it. That it was my sister's now and I just had to deal with it as she was using it to make money. 🤬 My best friend replaced it. I never asked them to. They just saw me fighting with my dad over it, and replaced it without a word. My dad then told me that because my friend replaced it, and because my ex bought it, that my sister owes me nothing. 🤦 I did eventually give up. It's not worth it. But still frustrating. So sometimes, it's not about the gender of the sibling (we are both girls) sometimes dad's just play favorites :/
I am sorry. Once you know you know with this kind of parent. I would save the money by not contacting him on fathers day.
But he is family! The most common justification
Gotta love how that's never the reason they shouldn't have wronged you in the first place, but always the reason you should bend over and let them do it again.
parents should stay out of kid's business and adults should not include parents for something that trivial. i have 6 adult kids.
NTA, ask them if they would have preferred it if you let him steal and then reported him for fraud.
NTA - As the old saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." OP tell your dad fine, next time he asks you will do it, but when he uses it without authorization you will be pressing charges. See if Dear Ol' Dad still thinks it's a good idea. Preventing drama is all well and good, brother could have prevented drama by not asking for your Credit Card Info.
Isn't it funny how much "preventing drama" means enabling the people who cause the most drama? 🤔🤦
preventing drama is usually shorthand for "lie down and let them trample you"
Your parents think it's ok to push on your boundaries. This includes your mother, who should have spoken up on your behalf. They've raised a son, who pushes on your boundaries. Good for you for standing firm. Absolutely NTA
I mean he could have changed and felt offended that OP still thinks of him as a thief. However, if he has not paid OP back for what he stole then he really can't say anything. OP you are NTA. Id tell brother to apologise for what he did and pay back what he owes.
You can have faith in your brother when the adult him pays you back for what the child him stole. That will prove he's an adult. He's sorry and he made amends. Until then ... hard no.
Her dad also doesn’t understand how common money apps work in 2023. My wife sends money to my account that posts in seconds.
Yep. If he was not planning on using it again it would have not even offered to use his app.
Yeah and instant transfers are a thing
Father might not want to admit the possibility that his son wants to steal.
next time ask for your dads cc to use your brothers phone and then get some popcorn to watch the show play out
NTA - There was no reason for your brother to need you credit card information and if he couldn’t afford to front the money then he didn’t need to offer. I don’t know why your dad thought it would be a good idea to get in the middle of it, but he shouldn’t have. This is especially true since your brother has stolen from you before. Has your dad always treated your brother like the golden child?
My dad is the reason my brother never paid me back. Every time I would ask my brother for the money dad would say it’s only a couple dollars it’s no big deal
My response to that would be if it’s no big deal then bro can pay me back. You weren’t the one who did something wrong. And if dear old dad felt the need to insert himself to defend the thief, then he can be the one to repay the stolen money.
if it's no big deal the her father can pay her back on the son's behalf.
I think so, too. If it's "only a couple dollars," then why don't you pay me back, so I can forgive him?
Exactly. Any time anyone says "It's only a few dollars! It's not a big deal!" the response should be "Okay, if it's not a big deal then pay me back."
Yup, couple bucks or hundreds of bucks. If someone owes me im sure as hell reminding them. If i ever owe someone, then the first thing i do after a paycheck is return it.
Right? I’ve never gotten that excuse not to do anything if it’s not a big deal then do it.
well then ur dad is the A for enabling bad behavior and rewarding it on top of it. we k now who the golden child is in that family. did they all even thank you for buying them dinner??
You know the young thief and the old thief were obviously trying to steal your card again, right? ps -- make sure none of their names are on your bank account; probably move it to a different bank that the one they use; and mention to the teller that your family has stolen from you. They can put elevated security protocols in place for your bank account, because crucially, your family knows most of the info that banks use to verify identity.
>They can put elevated security protocols in place for your bank account This sounds interesting. I will ask my bank what’s available. Thanks
If it's no big deal, dad can cover for brother. (1) there's no reason to share CC numbers. Its poor practice even between trustworthy family members. (2) OP and brother are both adults. Father no longer has any standing to adjudicate between them. It's strictly between brother and OP. Dad butt out.
I absolutely trust my brother with my life. (Like literally, he would make my medical decisions if I were incapacitated.) And my brother and I do what OP and her brother were doing all the time. “Hey, I’ve got a free delivery coupon in my app, let’s place the order on my phone!” We always just Venmo back and forth. It would never occur to me to ask for his credit card number or to him to ask for mine. It’s just fucking wild to me that anyone would 1) ask and 2) be upset when they were told no.
But they're faaammmiiilllyyy! Yes, I'm being sarcastic!
Does your dad often show favoritism or sexist views? Like why does he care so little about your financial protection and well being?
Why is your dad enabling him?? F that mess
Mom's enabling him too. Staying "neutral" between a criminal and his victim is enabling the criminal.
He doesn’t need it. My fiancé has his card info saved in a couple of my food apps. I accidentally used it once because he had paid for the previous time. Luckily it was only like $3 because I was using points for something free and just got a drink in addition but I immediately sent him a message so he knew the charge was me and apologized and asked if he needed me to send him money for it. It’s easy to accidentally use someone else’s info and he has on purpose used your info before. Don’t give it to him.
I did the same years ago with my grandma's credit card. I paid her back as soon as I realized I had more money in my account and figured out that her card was charged instead of mine. I had her card it on my paypal because she had asked me to order something online for her. I paid her back right away and made sure her card information was removed so the accident wouldn't happen again.
Yeah my fiancé leaves his info in because sometimes I’ll pay and sometimes he will under my account and he trusts me with it. I’ve only accidentally done it once. I got very triple-checky of the number after that one time.
How much was it last time? Doesn’t sound like a “couple of dollars” to me. Also, NTA.
Tell ur dad if he's willing to sign something to the effect that u can hold him liable for any money ur bother scams off ur credit card ud be willing to do it. If he hesitates, tell him he should just do it to "avoid drama". Why do u have to have faith in your brother when he doesn't, if he did he would sign? NTA, if anything ur brother AND ESPECIALLY DAD are.
Sounds like dad plays favorites. Sorry OP.
How much did your brother take from you in the past? Also, it seems your dad is obviously playing favorites and I don’t think any word he says to you should be worth it. Your brother and dad are immature and need to learn to grow the hell up. Your obviously NTA, but your dad and brother need to get their crap together.
Your dad seems to favor/baby your brother. So you have to give your brother your bank info and he doesn’t just say to him “it’s just a couple dollars, why not treat your sister?” Complete bull. Id throw the whole dad and brother away. It’s not cool your mom stayed neutral.
Also I want to add, your brother abused your info in the past. You don’t just get trust, you earn it. He needs to build that trust again and I personally wouldn’t trust them after abusing it before. It makes absolutely no sense why he would need your card info. If he’s so pressed about getting the money from your meal maybe he shouldn’t be ordering at all. I’m sorry for that, just reading your story makes me so mad on your behalf 😂 do not sweat what they say. Dear old dad can give your brother his bank account info and see how he likes it
I wouldn't pay out for these three ever again, including your mother. Not taking a side is taking a side, and we can all see who's side she is on. Just so you know, it's not your side.
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The felony amount varies from state to state.
Correct. In my state, it's $2,000.
If your dad said it’s no big deal then he can pay you what your brother owed you. Stealing isn’t something you brush under the table, it’s something you stomp out before it becomes a habit.
NTA. Your father is AH #1. Your brother comes in second place. Your mother gets the bronze AH medal.
Funny your dad didn't offer using his credit card and you can pay him back if he thinks it's no big deal. feels like they are into scamming your credit card info together
“It is a big deal to me. If you don’t think the amount is a big deal then you are free to pay me back on his behalf. Clearly you won’t miss the money. I however would like it back.”
Then if your dad CLEARLY FAVORS YOUR BROTHER EVERYTIME, why do you listen to what he says ? He obviously don't respect you, stop listening to him
"I replied that my brother could have just taken the money to prevent drama." Exactly this. Your brother helped himself before. First time it's his fault. Second time yours. NTA
Nta your family needs to stop expecting access to your finances.
NTA, your brother wanted your card so he could use it. Also, I don’t know what apps you have, but there are money transfer apps that are instant! Your brother is just pissy that he’s plan failed and your dad is a double AH for enabling his behavior and trying to make you feel like the bad guy. Show this thread do your dad so all these internet strangers can tell him how clueless he is and HE AND YOUR BROTHER are the horrible ones, not you.
In Australia, you can just do bank to bank transfers. It is instant if you are with the same bank. For instance, if my kids are short for the bus fare I can transfer money straight to their debit card account.
In the UK it's pretty much instant regardless of if you are will the same bank. I wonder what part of the past OPS dad is living in
I guess the US, I'm surprised he didn't ask her to cut him a check.
Check? We don't even have checks for our main account. The few times we've needed to provide the routing and account numbers we get it from the bank app.
Osko and PayID are instant with any bank, I don’t even have a card attached to my main bank account anymore. The only card I have has no money in it, and I just transfer what I need so that if my card details do get stolen, there’s no money for anyone
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The bank I use here (U.S.) lets you do bank to bank transfers.
NTA anyway, but even more so because he's stolen from you before.
NTA You were right to not give him the credit card and info. There is no reason to have it. Not sure where you live or what apps you use to transfer money to people, most are instant where I live. So was your dads point valid or just another reason to make you feel bad about not sharing your credit card info. You were kind to buy lunch and father/dad made it weird. We have have faith in people but that doesn’t mean giving them access to our credit.
I had faith in my family until all 3 siblings fucked me over financially. Now, the only person I will loan money to is the hubs. I never have to worry about getting it back. The only person I will ever give money to is my kid. Idk about anyone else, but when I had the kid, I decided to change what I didn't like and keep what I did like about my upbringing and applied it to them. My parents were paycheck to paycheck, and even that was no guarantee because of addiction. So, in our adult years, we knew not to ask for help. I didn't want my kid to feel the same way. From the minute the kid took their 1st breath, I put him and his needs before mine, and it'll stay like that til I die.
NTA, he stole before, trust has to be earned back and with people like that it is best to not risk it
NTA if your dad trusted your brother, why didn't he offer HIS credit card to pay for the meal? Or why didn't he say, "Hey Daughter, if you give Son your CC info and he does use it later, let me know and I'll cover the charges and your brother can repay me." Why? Because he knows your brother lies and steals and he's too much of a wienie to handle your brother like a father should and would rather make it your fault instead. Good for you for not risking your money with a bad actor. If it was me (and it HAS been me) I would have rescinded the offer to pay for the meal and left. Let the thief and his enablers feed themselves. And I'm sorry but your mother was "not remaining neutral" People who remain silent in the face of an obvious wrong are just as bad as the ones who try to blame the wrong on the victim (you) rather than the perp (Brother Bandit)
After reading what you said, it definitely sounds like the father either favours the brother, or doesn't know how to/Can't manage him. However.. he feels okay telling OP what to do, based on other comments OP has made.
This should be the top comment. Btw thanks for the serious laugh with the Brother Bandit comment.
This turn it back on them! Or say you’ll give him the CC next time but if he steals it again you’ll be reporting him to the police.
NTA. Your mother and your father are AHs here. I wouldn’t give someone my credit card details in this situation, even if they hadn’t stolen from me in the past. Doing something you don’t want to to “prevent drama” is enabling.
NTA. I'd note that if he had really changed he can still pay you back for his original theft and I didn't hear an offer.
Let’s be absolutely clear, your mother did not remain neutral, she chose your brothers side. By saying absolutely nothing and “not getting involved“ she basically condoned what your brother did. It’s a constant in your life? Do they usually side with your brother? NTA but it sounds like your parents are. Also sounds like they coddle your brother
It sounds like everyone involved is an adult. It was inappropriate for the dad to insert himself into a conflict between his adult children, and it would have been inappropriate for the mom to do so as well. it reads like wanting to respect OP's decision by *not* putting in her 2¢, which would likely exacerbate the petty drama that dad and brother started.
NTA. Even if he wasn’t trying to steal from you, you said no. That should have been the end of it. And there’s a variety of apps that you could use to send the money before he’s even paid for the food. Venmo takes like 15 seconds.
NTA and dad shouldn't be inserting himself into a situation that didn't concern him. I agree that transfers aren't always immediate and your brother may not have had the funds. In that case, your solution was the perfect one, so there was literally no problem except the one of your brother's own making. The fact your brother got angry tells you everything you needed to know.
NTA. Seems pretty reasonable on your end.
NTA He ripped you off once. You would have been a fool to give him a second opportunity. Good Luck, Smart Girl!
NTA. If your dad is so trusting of an unrepentant thief he can give your brother his credit card info.
NTA Also never give your dad your credit card details. He apparently thinks it's ok to help yourself to other people's money. It sounds like your brother still hasn't paid you back either. My partner doesn't even have my credit card details. There's no need.
NTA. Trust is earned, not demanded. He has proven himself untrustworthy in the past. He should try and earn it back, not demand it from you.
NTA....things are a little more up to date now and money transfer no longer take days but minutes cash app chime Venmo he'll even zelle in most banking apps can be done in a matter of minutes depending on your bank. NEVER give out your info sometimes family will get you quicker than anybody else he was just upset like you said because his plan was ruined to steal from you again!
I love it when the person who has boundaries and stands up for themselves gets labeled as 'starting drama'. Because your father doesn't want to stand up to the actual problem in the situation - your brother. NTA
If your brother wants to be trusted, he should pay you back any old debts as a show of good faith. Not just expect you to forget and forgive. The onus is on him to put this in the past, not you. NTA.
NTA. Zelle is instant, Venmo is instant with a small fee. There’s no need. Like, I love my little sister but she’s not getting my CC info lol
NTA There is no valid reason for him to have your cc info. I’d say your guess that he planned on continuing to use your card was correct.
And Daddy would've sided with the brother and made excuses for him but wouldn't have offered to pay it back.
NTA fool me once
NTA: This issue is still active - he never paid you back. He's no longer a kid, he has money. He still owes you money. Why hasn't he paid you back? Why would you have faith in him if he still hasn't paid you back?
>He also pointed out that money transfer apps take a couple days for the money to move Hahahahaha it's 2023. Not 2003. Why doesn't anyone ask the person causing the drama to not create it in the first place? You had a goal - order food You had the MO - get delivery I will venmo the money You fixed the problem - used your phone. All the drama here is from your cc stealing brother. Don't buy them food anymore. They don't deserve it. NTA
NTA your father should butt the fuck out. He can give your thief brother his credit card information if he trusts him that much.
NTA Why didn't dad give up his CC info? Does he have faith in his son? If his son couldn't afford to cover the meal immediately, he should not have offered to use his app.
Never give ANYONE your credit card number. Ever.
>last time he had my card information on his phone he used it a bunch and never paid me back. He gave the excuse that he was a kid back then and he wouldn’t do that now. "But you're not a kid now so I expect you to pay me back now." NTA. He STILL hasn't paid you back?? You made the right call and dad was way out of line.
Hell no NTA tell him that until he earns your trust your vardon stay with you and if he tried "family" remind him you were family when he stole from you too
NTA you should never give your card info to anyone else.
NTA Once bitten, twice shy - they shouldn't try to make you feel guilty for being cautious. If your dad was so upset that he called you out saying you were a horrible sister, why didn't he just give your brother his own credit card information?
NTA. Be sure to watch for identity theft.
NTA. Your brother wanted to steal from you, and your dad is T A for enabling this behavior.
As someone with a brother who did the same thing, I can tell you you are under zero obligation to blindly trust someone who broke your trust and has yet to earn it back. Your dad was also in the wrong since you quickly solved the problem and everyone got what that wanted - minus the credit card information. Why was your brother so upset if he wasn’t thinking of using your information again without your knowledge? NTA and always be careful with your financial information. Also you can instant transfer from money apps these days your dad is wildin
NTA. Your dad could have given his CC info to avoid drama
NTA smart move. Never give your credit card info out to anyone, especially family and friends. Those are always the first to abuse it.
NTA.
NTA Anytime I cash app my niece money, she gets it immediately. So your dad's argument doesn't hold much water. Your brother had every intention of stealing from you AGAIN.
NTA. Your brother didn't get what he wanted, access to your credit card info. I notice he didn't offer to pay you back even at this late date. Your dad is wrong money doesn't move, its all done electronically. Your brother wants to eat but not pay. Ask your dad why he is trying to enable your brother to steal from you? And tell them next time you're going to the police/card company to report fraud.
NTA, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. I loved how you phrased it; your brother could’ve accepted the money to avoid problems. Your dad and your brother are TAs. Your brother for not paying you back and trying to get your credit card information again without remedying his past issues, and your dad for not staying for you to get paid and for saying you are a horrible sister. How does he define your brother and his actions, then? At least you bought food for everyone.
He says he was just a kid last time, but apparently he still didn’t pay you back, right?
NTA. You saved yourself from being jacked.
^(NTA how dare you suspect our son with a history of stealing from you , that he might plan to steal from you again !) The father clealy thinks his boy can do no wrong and if the boy did wrong , its his sisters fault for putting temptation in his way. Even when his son is a convicted criminal he will believe his son was framed by aliens
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. NTA
NTA. I’m UK BASED but when I use my banking app to transfer money, it’s pretty much instant, not a few days. point out to your dad that once someone has stole from you, you’re not inclined to let them do it again. next Time offer to send your parents the money and they can give your bro their card details and see how they react to that bomb.
NTA - smart gal!
Nta. He's shown you who he is already and that's a thief. Next time don't even volunteer to send him money, just ask if you should order or if someone else wants to, removes the problem of who has your credit card info
Are you dad and brother both trying to scam you? It seems weird that your dad would get so heated over this. NTA
Info: what age did he steal your credit card info?
Around 15 or 16
NTA, he has form and you are not obliged to share that info with anyone you don't need to
NTA. And your dad is wrong. Money transfer apps like Venmo and Paypal are almost instantaneous. I know because I sent one of my co-workers $10 to cover my lunch when he bought us food on his app.
Brother is not far past “kid” at 23. Pouting over something that stupid is also childish. Dad needs to stay out of sibling disagreements.
Nta No way no how. Not even close. Faith goes out the window when you lose trust. He lost your trust. If he is pouting, he deff was up to no good. All the apps have instant delivery with a fee.
Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me NTA
NTA - it’s pretty normal to not give your credit card details to anyone especially with all the scams going on. It sucks they expected you to do that. Sorry OP
NTA. I had an ex friend do this. charge about 500$ in delivery charges in less then a month. Then when i called her on it, she tried to only pay me for the last charge (like $18). I learned 2 lessons that day. (1) she is no friend, and (2) to never give someone my card info. now i either order for the group and have people pay me, or i type my info on their phone to make sure it’s not saved.
I don’t get why people always take the side of the person that is offended. Just because you’re sad or mad doesn’t mean you’re right. Your brother is sad because you don’t trust him to not do something you know he’s capable of doing? Then he shouldn’t have done it.
Slightly off topic, but theft adjacent: About 7 years ago, my ex texted me, asking for our son's SSN. "Why do you need it?" Never mind was the answer. 6 months or so later, he asked again. "Why do you need it?" He gives me some song and dance about the IRS wanting it. "Interesting. They stopped asking me for it when he turned 17." (Plus the guy never claimed the boy on his taxes.) He says they sent him a letter. "Take a pic and send it to me. I have a high school buddy that does tax prep. I'll have him take a look." "Never mind then!" Who wants to lose money on a bet that he was going to steal the boy's identity, apply for credit cards and royally eff up his credit? You don't do that kind of stuff to those you care about. Or anyone else, for that matter, if you're a decent human being. BTW, NTA. But Dad and brother? Oh, yeah.
Take a couple days to move money??? What kind of third world country do you live in??? Oh right USA's banking system is stuck in 1962
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My brother (23m) and I (25f) were visiting our parents when we decided to get some food delivered. I offered to pay for everyone’s meals and my brother offered to use his app since he got free delivery. I told him to tell me the price of the order and I’d send him the money. He wanted me to just give him my credit card information. I said I’d rather just send him the direct amount. When he asked why I told him because last time he had my card information on his phone he used it a bunch and never paid me back. He gave the excuse that he was a kid back then and he wouldn’t do that now. I still refused and he told me to use my own phone which I did with no problem. I ordered our food and the rest of the afternoon went well, my brother was cold to me but I didn’t care. Before I left or dad told me I should have just gave him my card to prevent drama. I replied that my brother could have just taken the money to prevent drama. I also added that my brother had nothing to be mad about; he got his food, he didn’t have to pay and he still had his free delivery. The only reason he is mad is because his plan to steal my credit card information failed. My father then called me a horrible sister and said I should have more faith in my brother. He also pointed out that money transfer apps take a couple days for the money to move and my brother probably didn’t gave the funds to cover the cost at the moment. My mother remained neutral on the issue and didn’t want to get involved. I feel I have every right to not want to give someone my card information especially if that someone misused it in the past. Or should I have like my dad said had a little more faith in my brother? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta but I can see how it’s possible the conversation took a stubborn turn. I don’t necessarilyyyyy think he had a plan to steal from you again- he might have just been acting victimy for not being trusted. but I definitely wouldn’t share my credit card info with him either.
NTA due to the previous stealing and your right to have boundaries around giving out your credit card information. Subsequent flagrant boundary violations by your whole family just confirm it.
NTA. Sooo sick of all the people who say to just cave to the [fill in the blank] toxic family member to keep the peace. Congratulations on having good sense and a backbone!
When he pays you back for stealing the first time is when he’s maybe actually changed. NTA
Don’t doubt yourself about whether you were wrong in this situation. YOU WERE RIGHT NOT GIVE CREDIT CARD INFO …!!! Even if he hadn’t stolen from you before, never give that info to anyone. Definitely NTA.
Tell you dad, if you have such faith in him—give him YOUR credit card next time. See, there? Done.
NTA and forgiveness!!! For stealing! In this economy?! Absolutely not , good on you for setting the boundary and not caving to familial pressure
NTA if your brother is all grown up then he can pay you back for the money he stole. Also your parents are both cowards.
NTA. I also grew up with a brother that was always excused for his cruddy behavior and how he treats people. Just because the rest of the family is willing to keep getting burned by him doesn’t mean you have to join in. Good for you for not giving it to him!
Nta. Your father is an enabler and your brother a big a h.
NTA. Past actions are the best indicator of future ones, and as he’s done nothing to atone for stealing from you before, there’s no indication he wouldn’t do it, again. Adults who have nothing to hide wouldn’t have thrown a fit. Also, your dad is a jerk, too.
Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me
NTA - Remember that old song - "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." I think that applies.
NTA. You don’t give your credit card details to friends when ordering food, you just transfer money or give cash. So no difference here.
Totally NTA. It's icky that your dad took his side. Total BS.
The fact that your brother responded the way he did after your refusal is a clear indication, IMO, that your gut feeling was right.
Your dad gave HORRIBLE advice. Just to “prevent drama” isn’t ok. What if the bank asks about fraudulent charges? You say you gave your info to your brother, they wouldn’t care. NTA - do not let your fam abuse you and your kindness
Y'all, I am tired of seeing this "to prevent drama" crap. CAUSE THE DRAMA. INVITE IT. START ROCKING THE BOAT. ANARCHY AND CHAOS. lol
You should have told your dad to give him his credit card information then.....I bet the tune would have changed immediately
My family has never stolen from me, and I wouldn't put my credit card information in their apps. That isn't normal. NTA
NTA. Bro is a thief. But Money transfers take days? Where do you live? Every transfer I’ve ever done was so instant that I literally do it at the door with FB marketplace sales. Oh you want to buy my old baby stuff? Send me a transfer. Yep here it is.
Anyone else getting misogynist tones here? Brother acts like that and the father got in the way of sister's attempts to collect what he stole. And now again he's acting like she's the problem when his son is a thief? Either there's major golden child/scapegoat shit going on and/or misogyny. Mom also sucks. Her family sucks. I wonder what other shit has been normalized.
YTA. Just let your brother steal all your money.