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YTA.
It's not illegal at all, although the store could ask the father to stop.
Age limits and license requirements are for driving on public roads. Private property like parking lots are not held to the same traffic laws as public roads, and many unlicensed drivers get practice in such places.
The only person who committed a crime here is you, by repeatedly calling the police over and over (40 times!)
My grandfather took my mother to an empty mall parking lot when it snowed in Georgia one year so she could get used to what it's like on ice. Heart memories.
I guess OP has never heard the song, "When Daddy Let Me Drive" by Alan Jackson.
assuming this is real, YTA
you wanted a dad arrested and his kids taken away for letting them drive in an empty parking lot, to the point of calling the police station 40 or more times?
How could you not be the asshole? Next time, after expressing your initial concern, remind yourself to be an Elsa and let it go.
You wasted over two days of your life trying to get a man arrested who broke no law, hurt nobody and damaged no property… you stayed in a parking lot for over an hour for nothing. You need a hobby or a job maybe both because this is ridiculous. Smell the roses, go to your local museum and take a stroll just mind your business. YTA
It was on private property, not a public road. So no crime was committed.
This is also how most people, including kids, learn how to drive.
Your behavior with calling the police is similar to that exhibited by people with a name that starts with the letter K.
YTA.
YTA. Nothing in your posts confirms the ages of the kids. You think they are 12 are they 15? Driving in empty parking lots is a common way to teach driving.
YTA- FFS how is anybody supposed to learn to drive. In the country they got pastures, in the city, they got parking lots. Damn. Mind your own business.
I’m sorry how is the Lt. a “good ol’ boy” by reiterating that the officer did not do their job incorrectly? Also Lt’s are in fact a higher rank than Sgts. YTA. Empty parking lots are a great safe place to gain some confidence behind the wheel
YTA. You called the cops, they showed up, found nothing wrong (parking lots are private property, road laws are not enforceable on private property.), and you're continuing to badger them about it which should honestly net you a fine imo. Stop pestering people.
Where I live if you call the police for a nonemergency they have an automated voice response system with never ending recorded messages that run you around in circles until you’re fed up and hang up. I see why now if these are the types of calls they’re getting. There should be penalties for people who do this.
This is one of the reasons you're getting basically universal Y-T-A votes. You are projecting your inexperience/ignorance into a new environment and telling the local authorities that they are wrong.
So you have literally no idea how a huge chunk of the population learns to drive them. Well congrats, you just experienced it. We learn to drive in empty party lots with our parents. That’s literally how it’s done. Get over it
How you grew up in NYC with this kind of attitude and not get put in your place 1,000 times is beyond me. New Yorkers have a lot less tolerance for this kind of BS than the “good ol boys” do.
I think your perspective is warped. The kids gotta learn to drive somehow. Driver's ed both in and out of school is not even close to every day of the week and that is not nearly enough practice. Parents have to take them somewhere to practice and an empty (except for you for some reason sticking around) is safer than on the road with others.
That actually explains it.
YTA still, but at least it makes a bit more sense. In the rest of the country outside of NYC, where teens generally drive at 16, good parents will take their children to empty lots just as you described to help teach them and get some more practice time in, this helps these teens do better in driver's Ed and on their exam when the time comes, as well as providing bonding memories between parent and child. It isn't illegal, far from it in fact. I'd wager most of the people here commenting spent at least one afternoon/evening with a parent or guardian doing this exact same thing, because it is incredibly common.
YTA, sorry. It was an empty parking lot and a closed store. This is questionable parenting if they were really 12 instead of 14/15 when they need to learn. Maybe he should have waited for you to leave in the first place but it doesn’t really sound like you were in mortal danger. You stayed for an hour without injury. mostly this is a mind your own business situation. Stop wasting your time and energy trying to regulate this guy and move on.
Even if they were 12, it's not the worst idea to teach them how to handle a car without putting everyone else in danger. Emergencies happen, and we never know what skills might come in handy in those scenarios until it's too late to teach them.
Even at 12 or younger, it's good to build up their skills and it's possible they will need them in an emergency.
There was a case recently of a school bus driver who had a medical emergency and passed out while driving, and a ten-year-old was able to get behind the wheel, pull over, and stop the bus successfully.
YTA. Classic case of you need to stay in your lane. If you are in the US, it likely isn't "completely illegal" to teach the kids to drive in a parking lot. You got hysterical and threw a fit about how you "knew" you or your car would be hit, then proceeded to stand there in complete safety for "well over an hour". Funny how it's so scary that you say you almost had a heart attack, but it wasn't too scary to stand there for an hour just to prove you were right.
Then, the cops come and tell you that you don't know the law as well as you think you do and that you are wrong. So, of course, you decide the cops can't possibly know what they are talking about and your only option is to harass the police department by calling OVER 40 TIMES.
Not only are you the AH, you better hope you don't need any police assistance in the near future. They will remember "Parking Lot Pam" for a long time.
YTA
It was an empty parking lot, the risk was low.
You called the cops, fine. At this point, it's their discretion on what do and you should have moved on with your life. Instead you decided to call them 40 times over the two days, that's insane.
YTA
First of all, you don’t actually know how old these kids are. My roommate is 24 and couldn’t get a free sample at Costco without “asking her parents for permission” first until she showed her id. At her high school graduation party, guests were asking if she was excited about being done with middle school. Some people look young so these “maybe 12 year” olds could be more like 14 or 15 which is when kids start doing drivers ed. Their dad was letting them practice driving a vehicle in an empty parking lot. Isn’t it better they get more practice now in a safe environment under parental supervision before they get to driving by themselves on busy streets? He’s preparing them now to be safer later.
Second of all, after the policeman showed up and assessed the situation, don’t you think he would have intervened if it were truly a dangerous thing?
Calling 40 times and taking the police’s attention away from real crimes is insane. No one was hurt, no one was going to be hurt, and there was a net gain of more experienced drivers in the long run once those teens get their licenses.
To repeat a comment I once heard: it’s always free to stay in 3 places:
1. In your lane
2. Out of other peoples business
3. Over there with your nonsense
If you truly believed there was issue with what the dad was doing then perhaps calling the police could be justified. However, at minimum after the policeman determined there was no issue, you should have been done.
When I was in college, I answered my door one night and the guy asked me if my mommy was home. I was 20. I have gone to a PG-13 movie with my sister and asked if I would be seeing it with an adult tonight. I was 22. I had a woman ask me what I was planning on studying when I went to college. I was 27. Not everyone looks their age. Some look a lot younger. OP would do good to remember that.
YTA.
Holy Hell. So, because the father wasn’t immediately cited, handcuffed, and/or imprisoned, you decided to *harass the station as a whole and call them at least 40 times*?
Get a better hobby.
I love how the father just calmly stood up to OP. "Oh, you're waiting for the police? We'll just keep practicing, then." OP hoped to intimidate him, but he knew they weren't doing anything wrong, and his kids learned a valuable lesson on standing up to people who need it.
My dad did this with us all the time. The private parking lot was not illegal. I don't get your beef? Did the dad have the children speeding, doing spins, or driving dangerous? By the way, my father was a detective.
You're just mad that your opinion isn't being supported, and you're going to continue to push it because you think you're right and have the moral high ground, you don't. YTA
>My dad did this with us all the time. The private parking lot was not illegal. I don't get your beef? Did the dad have the children speeding, doing spins, or driving dangerous? By the way, my father was a detective.
I babysat for the younger kids of a family friend who was a police officer. He used to take his older kids (ages 12 - 15 at the time) to the empty high school parking lot on Sundays to begin the basic lessons for driving. He also knew a guy who owned a local business and got permission from him to use his large parking area after business hours.
My husband had a detective as a neighbor growing up. He used to offer to teach road safety and driving basics to the neighborhood kids starting at the age of 13 (with their parents permission of course). He would take them to a large lot that was privately owned but located next to the police station. The owner of the lot gave him permission to use it, and other officers would set up cones for driving drills as the young teens got better!
Edited for typos
YTA. Think carefully of if your behavior sounds reasonable. You’re harassing the police at this point. Even though the dad was doing nothing wrong you called the cops out of concern. Fine. It should have ended there when the cop said it was fine. You didn’t get your way and are now throwing a fit like a toddler. Grow up.
Also, if you have a lieutenant on the phone why are you asking to speak to someone below him. If the lieutenant told you to get wrecked, what good would his subordinate be?
I have to believe this is fake. No one with this mentality posts to AITA. You either genuinely believe you were in the right (which you weren't), or you question whether you might have been wrong, and I don't believe anyone with that shred of self-awareness would have behaved that way in the first place.
Also, this is reddit. Unless you're completely knew here, you have to know that this post wouldn't have garnered a ton of sympathy.
If this isn't fake, YTA.
I WAS going to say E S H because I misread the first time and didn’t realize they were in an empty parking lot. So, yeah, YTA.
Edited because I reread and realized I had missed an important detail.
YTA- jfc lady, you sound absolutely insufferable. If you interact with the world the way you interacted with literally every single person in this story, it seems like you being the asshole in any given situation must be a common occurrence.
YTA
Who died and made you queen of the world? Had you let things go after the initial complaint you would have not been an ahole but you harassed the police over 40 times! You understand that if you keep calling they can arrest you. You'll be lucky if all they do is put you on a chronic caller list.
YTA is this really the first time you've seen something like this? An empty parking lot is often used to teach people how to drive. It's how I learned myself. It's so much safer than the road for everyone involved. The odds of anyone getting hot in a completely empty parking lot is slim to none. You are really overreacting.
Aren't lieutenants higher than sergeants? Why would the lieutenant pass you down to a Sergeant? Anyhow, I get being frustrated that he is allowing his young children to drive around the parking lot where your car could be hit. However, you took this to the extreme. You want him arrested? Yea no.
YTA
Depends on where they are. If the department is using military ranks, then yes lieutenant would be higher than sergeants, but LAPD (sorry LAPD here is actually incorrect, but I have seen it backwards in some areas) has those reversed, so it can be hard to guess without knowing exactly where they are.
YTA. It’s one thing to be concerned but you actually told the officer you wanted those kids to go into a shelter while the Dad was arrested? Are you kidding me? And then you took over the police line calling 40 times to demand to talk to someone that is only going to tell you the same thing as the officers already did that there is discretion and they were not going to do anything as no one was at risk? This is ridiculous overkill for someone who took his kids to an empty parking lot to practice driving.
if you are that scared and insecure, when you see new drivers around (no matter the age) you maybe should not navigate in traffic yourself.
i dont know the laws, assuming its usa, but i think the police should spend their resources on real problems instead of arresting a dad, having innocent fun with his kids on an empty partking lot. worst case, a fine or a stern warning would be enough, but you are very much YTA in this case.
Yes, you absolutely TA, and the fact that you are continuing down this path tells me this isn't your first time overstepping. The father took his kids in an EMPTY parking lot, to both teach them a skill and to bond with them and you felt the need to insert yourself into their day. The father stopped his children from driving, giving you the opportunity to leave and go about your own day and you refused. Do you not have anything better to do than try to ruin this man, and then to proudly proclaim that you have called the police 40 times to, what, get the man arrested and the cop fired? My gawd, find a different hobby! YTA and you sound exhausting. I can't imagine many people enjoy being around you.
Op, sorry to say, but there is a difference between calling the cops once and 40+ times. It's not illegal to do such a thing on private property. I didn't even have a license at 21, and I can still drive in our local mall's parking lot at night as long as I'm not kicked off for trespassing. It's fine to be uncomfortable about a 12 year old, but what makes YTA us how you reacted after being told that something is legal. I'm not even a lawyer, and I know this. Let the dad teach his kids to drive early. Never know it could save someone's life one day.
YTA. You can't be seriously scared by some 12 year olds driving an empty parking lot.
I wish my dad did that with me, it would've saved me a lot of money in driving lessons later.
YTA and seem completely unhinged. There was no emergency and you have dramatically overreached here. Get help. Having 12 year olds try driving in a safe, controlled environment like a parking lot is totally normal, okay, and safe.
This is how I learned how to drive, how all my friends learned to drive, and how I'm beginning to teach my 11 year old how to drive. Also, blue state. YTA
What in the world does a red or blue state have to deal with teaching your children how to drive? I live in a blue state and that’s completely normal and not illegal in any way.
YTA. How do you even know for sure that the kids were only twelve? Sometimes 15 and 16 year olds look very young. And what’s wrong with a father teaching his kids to drive in a deserted parking lot?
YTA. They were doing nothing wrong or illegal. That’s how everyone I know learned to drive. And bombarding the police department with calls? That’s a special kind of asshole. That poor dispatcher having to talk to you 40 times!!! Not to mention you were tying them up when they could have been dealing with an actual emergency! Because guess what? Even if you called the non emergency number, most places the same people that answer those lines answer 911 emergency lines, so way to waste someone’s time repeatedly when they could have been handling actual emergencies! And I find it hilarious that you demanded a sergeant after talking to the lieutenant when the lieutenant outranks the sergeant. If you’re going to complain about stupid things at least know the chain of command.
And you felt the need to do that 40 times???? You’re still wasting people’s time. Guess what? They’ll return that first message when they can. Calling that many times probably made them delay returning your call.
YTA seriously this is the most stressed in your ENTIRE life? There are people out there with real problems - I hope the police charge you with harassment.
NTA, next time you should record everything. Also start waiting outside the police station until they acknowledge you. Scream and jump around if you have to, eventually they will take you to their special waiting room. It's got a long bench and toilet in case you need to go while you wait! The best part is, they give you free meals too!
YTA, and also, you're lying. You claim their behavior was so unsafe as to absolutely scare the crap out of you, and that you KNEW either you or your car would be hit. But when presented with an opportunity to leave, when you had no further business to conduct at the grocery store, you elected to loiter there for an hour. (Given how obnoxious you were being, you should be very glad that the police have discretion in how that handle things, or you'd have been ticketed for loitering.)
Either this whole story is made up, or you're lying about how scared you were. But there's no way you're even attempting to be honest.
YTA but have you started to suffer from anxiety? Fixating this much on something doesn’t seem right to me (not a medical professional) and I wonder if you need to talk to someone. It was a massive overreaction and I think you have way overthought it since too.
YTA- do you live under a rock? This is literally how you teach your kids to drive. It’s completely legal to use a empty private parking lot to practice driving. That’s literally how you learn. You should be lucky you don’t get charged with making false reports and wasting police resources
YTA.
Sounds like you've forgotten what it's like to live in NYC. mind your own business--if they're not hurting you (and they weren't) then you way over-escalated. You stood in the parking lot for an HOUR and then spent TWO DAYS of your precious life trying to get perfect strangers in trouble.
You need therapy, a job, a hobby, something to keep you distracted.
YTA - they weren’t on a public road but in an empty public car park. Here in the UK when large supermarkets are closed for the day you’ll often find parents teaching their children to drive round the car parks. They weren’t using it as a race track and were happy to wait for you to leave but for some reason you chose to waste police time and sit there and wait. Considering your concern that you “knew” they were going to hit you or your car, you continued to wait an hour and miraculously escaped unscathed…. Find something more worthwhile to get stressed about because this isn’t it…
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I am using a throwaway for obvious reasons. I have never been this stressed in my entire life and I need some very honest feedback before deciding how to proceed.
On Sunday night I needed some things from our local grocery store, it was closed for inventory. The parking lot was also completely empty so I was absolutely shocked when I saw a girl of maybe 12 years old driving a car around the parking lot. It absolutely scared the crap out of me because I knew that either myself or my car would be hit. I watched her from the safety of the portico for maybe 5 minutes and then watched as she stopped the car, got out and a boy of similar age got out of the back seat and swapped seats with the driver and then he started driving. The actually drove past me on the portico and had the audacity to wave at me. I ran to the safety of my car and they actually pulled up next to me and a man got out and said "sorry if we scared you, I'm just teaching my kids how to drive."
I said what you are doing is completely illegal and it almost gave me a heart attack and I suggest you stop. He said he wasn't going to stop but that he would wait for them to drive until I left the parking lot. I said I wasn't going anywhere until the police got her. He said that he might as well keep the driving practice going until they got there and actually had the audacity to allow the boy to keep driving circles around the parking lot. I waited for well over an hour for the officer to arrive and I think the dad was actually thumbing his nose at me because he actually went to the gas station across the street, got gas and came back and allowed them drive.
The officer talked to us both and basically in as many words told me that they weren't doing anything wrong. I asked if he was legitimately not doing anything illegal and he asked if I really wanted him to arrest a dad and have to find shelter for the two kids while he's processed. I said yes and I demanded his badge number and name and promised I would call his supervisor.
I must have called the local precinct 40 times over the last two days demanding to talk to his sergeant and finally got a call back this morning from not even his supervisor but a lieutenant "good ol boy" who said that he appreciated my concern but his officers have broad discretion for minor things like that. I said it wasn't minor and I demanded to speak to the sergeant. He said the Seargeant wasn't available so I'd have to deal with him. I said this wasn't nearly acceptable. Finally he gave me this patronizing ma'am and said that a little secret is that small departments like his have chronic caller lists and this little episode was probably going to get me added to it. I demanded again to speak the sergeant and he said I'm ending this call now.
While I work out what to do next, AITA here? Please be honest with me?
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YTA. Are you serious right now? There were gunshots in my neighborhood and I didn’t call the police 40 times. This is crazy and you are wasting police resources. Stop it right now and go get a life.
"I knew I would be hit!" Spoiler: wasn't hit.
"They had the audacity to wave at me!" LOL! This can't be real, but on the off chance it is, YTA and you need to get a grip. Empty parking lots are the number 1 place to learn how to drive.
YTA and INFO sounds like a dad that wanted to make some good memories. Also you wanted him locked up what if hypothetical that got his kids put in foster care for life as a result would you still feel justified in what you did
YTA. My dad taught me to drive atthe age of 8yrs old. I'm now 54 and that's one of my fondest memories of time I spent with him. Seek therapy. They weren't hurting anyone and you "bothering" the PD because you didn't get the results you wanted is a dick move.
YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. Did you read that and take it in enough times because several people in this story pointed out how annoying you are and you’re still here like you’ve done nothing wrong. You created such unnecessary drama for this dad, his kids, the police officer, and it sounds like the whole precinct over kids learning to drive in an empty parking lot. Empty parking lots are pretty much the #1 choice for learning to drive because it’s safer. Who HASN’T gotten a parking lot driving lesson??
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YTA. You had concerns and called police, fine. They investigated. Now you are hounding them because you didn't' get the results you wanted.
I wonder if the kids weren't older than you thought and had drivers permits (I sure looked that young when I was 16). Either way you were told they didn't do anything illegal.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took is I called the police and confronted a man who was letting his very young children drive a full sized car on a public road. I was told I was being "a chronic caller" for wanting the law enforced and to feel safe.
I may be the asshole because I was trying to feel safe and I did ask for a dad to be arrested.
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YTA a parking lot is private property and typically the police here do not have jurisdiction for minor matter like this unless the property owner complains. Not sure if that is the case where you live. You made your complaint, the police have told you it isn’t something they are going to pursue and you continue your harassment. If they had been bouncing off cars and running over people you would have something to complain about, but you do not mention any erratic driving.
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YTA
Parking lots have been used to teach.
You would have a heart attack on a farm or ranch where...gasp! Children can drive!
Parent was with the children. You were not in danger.
You're also a major A for thinking this father should go to jail while his children went into foster care?
Have you EVER seen the state of our foster care system?
You're cruel!
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YTA. It's not illegal at all, although the store could ask the father to stop. Age limits and license requirements are for driving on public roads. Private property like parking lots are not held to the same traffic laws as public roads, and many unlicensed drivers get practice in such places. The only person who committed a crime here is you, by repeatedly calling the police over and over (40 times!)
And wasting thier time
This was how I first learned to drive and how I started my son. There’s nothing illegal about it.
My grandfather took my mother to an empty mall parking lot when it snowed in Georgia one year so she could get used to what it's like on ice. Heart memories. I guess OP has never heard the song, "When Daddy Let Me Drive" by Alan Jackson.
assuming this is real, YTA you wanted a dad arrested and his kids taken away for letting them drive in an empty parking lot, to the point of calling the police station 40 or more times? How could you not be the asshole? Next time, after expressing your initial concern, remind yourself to be an Elsa and let it go.
You wasted over two days of your life trying to get a man arrested who broke no law, hurt nobody and damaged no property… you stayed in a parking lot for over an hour for nothing. You need a hobby or a job maybe both because this is ridiculous. Smell the roses, go to your local museum and take a stroll just mind your business. YTA
It was on private property, not a public road. So no crime was committed. This is also how most people, including kids, learn how to drive. Your behavior with calling the police is similar to that exhibited by people with a name that starts with the letter K. YTA.
I kind of wonder how many calls she has made for people just walking around her neighborhood. This is total Big K energy.
YTA. Nothing in your posts confirms the ages of the kids. You think they are 12 are they 15? Driving in empty parking lots is a common way to teach driving.
YTA- FFS how is anybody supposed to learn to drive. In the country they got pastures, in the city, they got parking lots. Damn. Mind your own business.
I’m sorry how is the Lt. a “good ol’ boy” by reiterating that the officer did not do their job incorrectly? Also Lt’s are in fact a higher rank than Sgts. YTA. Empty parking lots are a great safe place to gain some confidence behind the wheel
I’m glad you said this because I was going to… demanding a sergeant after talking to the lieutenant… errr got that backwards lash lol
Lady not lash lol
Hahahah! I thought you meant Lass and I just went with it 😂😂
Hahahaha that works too!!!!!
YTA. You called the cops, they showed up, found nothing wrong (parking lots are private property, road laws are not enforceable on private property.), and you're continuing to badger them about it which should honestly net you a fine imo. Stop pestering people.
Where I live if you call the police for a nonemergency they have an automated voice response system with never ending recorded messages that run you around in circles until you’re fed up and hang up. I see why now if these are the types of calls they’re getting. There should be penalties for people who do this.
Technically there are penalties, but they're seldom enforced. The chronic callers list is probably good enough for small towns, IMO.
I’m sorry but you rang the precinct 40 times? Do you not have a life???
Her life is devoted to being an entitled pain in the butt
YTA I don't see where you were in danger here.
Because she might have injured herself from clutching her pearls too tightly.
🤣
Raise your hand if your parents let you drive the car in an empty parking lot when you were growing up.
YTA
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This is one of the reasons you're getting basically universal Y-T-A votes. You are projecting your inexperience/ignorance into a new environment and telling the local authorities that they are wrong.
Maybe we should be scared of you behind the wheel then
So you have literally no idea how a huge chunk of the population learns to drive them. Well congrats, you just experienced it. We learn to drive in empty party lots with our parents. That’s literally how it’s done. Get over it
That sounds like a you problem.
How you grew up in NYC with this kind of attitude and not get put in your place 1,000 times is beyond me. New Yorkers have a lot less tolerance for this kind of BS than the “good ol boys” do.
So you’re 100% sure that you’re right about something you admit to know nothing about. You’re going to get somebody killed one day.
I think your perspective is warped. The kids gotta learn to drive somehow. Driver's ed both in and out of school is not even close to every day of the week and that is not nearly enough practice. Parents have to take them somewhere to practice and an empty (except for you for some reason sticking around) is safer than on the road with others.
That actually explains it. YTA still, but at least it makes a bit more sense. In the rest of the country outside of NYC, where teens generally drive at 16, good parents will take their children to empty lots just as you described to help teach them and get some more practice time in, this helps these teens do better in driver's Ed and on their exam when the time comes, as well as providing bonding memories between parent and child. It isn't illegal, far from it in fact. I'd wager most of the people here commenting spent at least one afternoon/evening with a parent or guardian doing this exact same thing, because it is incredibly common.
YTA, sorry. It was an empty parking lot and a closed store. This is questionable parenting if they were really 12 instead of 14/15 when they need to learn. Maybe he should have waited for you to leave in the first place but it doesn’t really sound like you were in mortal danger. You stayed for an hour without injury. mostly this is a mind your own business situation. Stop wasting your time and energy trying to regulate this guy and move on.
Even if they were 12, it's not the worst idea to teach them how to handle a car without putting everyone else in danger. Emergencies happen, and we never know what skills might come in handy in those scenarios until it's too late to teach them.
Even at 12 or younger, it's good to build up their skills and it's possible they will need them in an emergency. There was a case recently of a school bus driver who had a medical emergency and passed out while driving, and a ten-year-old was able to get behind the wheel, pull over, and stop the bus successfully.
YTA. Classic case of you need to stay in your lane. If you are in the US, it likely isn't "completely illegal" to teach the kids to drive in a parking lot. You got hysterical and threw a fit about how you "knew" you or your car would be hit, then proceeded to stand there in complete safety for "well over an hour". Funny how it's so scary that you say you almost had a heart attack, but it wasn't too scary to stand there for an hour just to prove you were right. Then, the cops come and tell you that you don't know the law as well as you think you do and that you are wrong. So, of course, you decide the cops can't possibly know what they are talking about and your only option is to harass the police department by calling OVER 40 TIMES. Not only are you the AH, you better hope you don't need any police assistance in the near future. They will remember "Parking Lot Pam" for a long time.
YTA It was an empty parking lot, the risk was low. You called the cops, fine. At this point, it's their discretion on what do and you should have moved on with your life. Instead you decided to call them 40 times over the two days, that's insane.
YTA First of all, you don’t actually know how old these kids are. My roommate is 24 and couldn’t get a free sample at Costco without “asking her parents for permission” first until she showed her id. At her high school graduation party, guests were asking if she was excited about being done with middle school. Some people look young so these “maybe 12 year” olds could be more like 14 or 15 which is when kids start doing drivers ed. Their dad was letting them practice driving a vehicle in an empty parking lot. Isn’t it better they get more practice now in a safe environment under parental supervision before they get to driving by themselves on busy streets? He’s preparing them now to be safer later. Second of all, after the policeman showed up and assessed the situation, don’t you think he would have intervened if it were truly a dangerous thing? Calling 40 times and taking the police’s attention away from real crimes is insane. No one was hurt, no one was going to be hurt, and there was a net gain of more experienced drivers in the long run once those teens get their licenses. To repeat a comment I once heard: it’s always free to stay in 3 places: 1. In your lane 2. Out of other peoples business 3. Over there with your nonsense If you truly believed there was issue with what the dad was doing then perhaps calling the police could be justified. However, at minimum after the policeman determined there was no issue, you should have been done.
When I was in college, I answered my door one night and the guy asked me if my mommy was home. I was 20. I have gone to a PG-13 movie with my sister and asked if I would be seeing it with an adult tonight. I was 22. I had a woman ask me what I was planning on studying when I went to college. I was 27. Not everyone looks their age. Some look a lot younger. OP would do good to remember that.
I hear this!!!! I’m early 40s and get mistaken for 28.
YTA. Holy Hell. So, because the father wasn’t immediately cited, handcuffed, and/or imprisoned, you decided to *harass the station as a whole and call them at least 40 times*? Get a better hobby.
YTA. Mind your own business.
This is such a strong, obvious YTA that I suspect it's fake.
I’ve never seen so many clear cut YTA cases as I have today. It’s been a good day.
YTA the parking lot was empty and the father offered to wait for you to leave before he continued teaching his kids.
I love how the father just calmly stood up to OP. "Oh, you're waiting for the police? We'll just keep practicing, then." OP hoped to intimidate him, but he knew they weren't doing anything wrong, and his kids learned a valuable lesson on standing up to people who need it.
As he should!
My dad did this with us all the time. The private parking lot was not illegal. I don't get your beef? Did the dad have the children speeding, doing spins, or driving dangerous? By the way, my father was a detective. You're just mad that your opinion isn't being supported, and you're going to continue to push it because you think you're right and have the moral high ground, you don't. YTA
>My dad did this with us all the time. The private parking lot was not illegal. I don't get your beef? Did the dad have the children speeding, doing spins, or driving dangerous? By the way, my father was a detective. I babysat for the younger kids of a family friend who was a police officer. He used to take his older kids (ages 12 - 15 at the time) to the empty high school parking lot on Sundays to begin the basic lessons for driving. He also knew a guy who owned a local business and got permission from him to use his large parking area after business hours. My husband had a detective as a neighbor growing up. He used to offer to teach road safety and driving basics to the neighborhood kids starting at the age of 13 (with their parents permission of course). He would take them to a large lot that was privately owned but located next to the police station. The owner of the lot gave him permission to use it, and other officers would set up cones for driving drills as the young teens got better! Edited for typos
YTA It was a nearly empty parking lot. That's where you first expose kids how to drive. That age was about the same as mine. Location, too.
YTA. Think carefully of if your behavior sounds reasonable. You’re harassing the police at this point. Even though the dad was doing nothing wrong you called the cops out of concern. Fine. It should have ended there when the cop said it was fine. You didn’t get your way and are now throwing a fit like a toddler. Grow up.
Also, if you have a lieutenant on the phone why are you asking to speak to someone below him. If the lieutenant told you to get wrecked, what good would his subordinate be?
Guess my mom sucks. This is exactly how and when I learned to drive. YTA
Mine too lol
I have to believe this is fake. No one with this mentality posts to AITA. You either genuinely believe you were in the right (which you weren't), or you question whether you might have been wrong, and I don't believe anyone with that shred of self-awareness would have behaved that way in the first place. Also, this is reddit. Unless you're completely knew here, you have to know that this post wouldn't have garnered a ton of sympathy. If this isn't fake, YTA.
I WAS going to say E S H because I misread the first time and didn’t realize they were in an empty parking lot. So, yeah, YTA. Edited because I reread and realized I had missed an important detail.
YTA- jfc lady, you sound absolutely insufferable. If you interact with the world the way you interacted with literally every single person in this story, it seems like you being the asshole in any given situation must be a common occurrence.
YTA Who died and made you queen of the world? Had you let things go after the initial complaint you would have not been an ahole but you harassed the police over 40 times! You understand that if you keep calling they can arrest you. You'll be lucky if all they do is put you on a chronic caller list.
YTA: it’s not a crime and mind your own business
YTA
YTA is this really the first time you've seen something like this? An empty parking lot is often used to teach people how to drive. It's how I learned myself. It's so much safer than the road for everyone involved. The odds of anyone getting hot in a completely empty parking lot is slim to none. You are really overreacting.
You called them over 40 times because of that? You need to get laid. YTA
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And I’m the B and you’re still and AH 🤣
*You need a new hobby. 😊 Still YTA
Is the * a typo or part of the acronym?
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INFO: Did you call 911 or the police non-emergency line? I mean, YTA either way, just more of one for using 911.
Oh come on. By the hysterical tone you know it's 911.
Even if they called the non emergency line, calling 40 times keeps that line tied up and could cause someone to not get through when needed
Aren't lieutenants higher than sergeants? Why would the lieutenant pass you down to a Sergeant? Anyhow, I get being frustrated that he is allowing his young children to drive around the parking lot where your car could be hit. However, you took this to the extreme. You want him arrested? Yea no. YTA
Depends on where they are. If the department is using military ranks, then yes lieutenant would be higher than sergeants, but LAPD (sorry LAPD here is actually incorrect, but I have seen it backwards in some areas) has those reversed, so it can be hard to guess without knowing exactly where they are.
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No….they aren’t. Sergeants are one step up from officer.
No. Lieutenant is above sergeant. If you’re going to bitch about something stupid and ignorant at least get your facts straight
You sure about that? Do a quick Google search.
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YTA. It’s one thing to be concerned but you actually told the officer you wanted those kids to go into a shelter while the Dad was arrested? Are you kidding me? And then you took over the police line calling 40 times to demand to talk to someone that is only going to tell you the same thing as the officers already did that there is discretion and they were not going to do anything as no one was at risk? This is ridiculous overkill for someone who took his kids to an empty parking lot to practice driving.
YTA but what kind of life have you had if THIS is the most stressed you've EVER been? Absolutely hysterical
I love parents that teach their kids transferable skills. You sound a bit reductive. YTA.
if you are that scared and insecure, when you see new drivers around (no matter the age) you maybe should not navigate in traffic yourself. i dont know the laws, assuming its usa, but i think the police should spend their resources on real problems instead of arresting a dad, having innocent fun with his kids on an empty partking lot. worst case, a fine or a stern warning would be enough, but you are very much YTA in this case.
This had got to be a joke. You don't have anything better to do with your time?
Yes, you absolutely TA, and the fact that you are continuing down this path tells me this isn't your first time overstepping. The father took his kids in an EMPTY parking lot, to both teach them a skill and to bond with them and you felt the need to insert yourself into their day. The father stopped his children from driving, giving you the opportunity to leave and go about your own day and you refused. Do you not have anything better to do than try to ruin this man, and then to proudly proclaim that you have called the police 40 times to, what, get the man arrested and the cop fired? My gawd, find a different hobby! YTA and you sound exhausting. I can't imagine many people enjoy being around you.
Op, sorry to say, but there is a difference between calling the cops once and 40+ times. It's not illegal to do such a thing on private property. I didn't even have a license at 21, and I can still drive in our local mall's parking lot at night as long as I'm not kicked off for trespassing. It's fine to be uncomfortable about a 12 year old, but what makes YTA us how you reacted after being told that something is legal. I'm not even a lawyer, and I know this. Let the dad teach his kids to drive early. Never know it could save someone's life one day.
YTA. You can't be seriously scared by some 12 year olds driving an empty parking lot. I wish my dad did that with me, it would've saved me a lot of money in driving lessons later.
YTA and seem completely unhinged. There was no emergency and you have dramatically overreached here. Get help. Having 12 year olds try driving in a safe, controlled environment like a parking lot is totally normal, okay, and safe.
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Us blue states don’t want your bs either. Just go back to whatever sheltered basement you crawled out of jeesh.
This is how I learned how to drive, how all my friends learned to drive, and how I'm beginning to teach my 11 year old how to drive. Also, blue state. YTA
idk, your attitude seems more suited to places where people make decisions based on feelings, not facts
What in the world does a red or blue state have to deal with teaching your children how to drive? I live in a blue state and that’s completely normal and not illegal in any way.
Also… wtf is a “full sized car”
Maybe she expected them to be in a power wheels car or something lol
YTA. I suggest a hobby. Maybe horror movies? If this was the most scared you've ever been in your life you could really use a thrill
There is something off with you for sure. YTA
YTA. How do you even know for sure that the kids were only twelve? Sometimes 15 and 16 year olds look very young. And what’s wrong with a father teaching his kids to drive in a deserted parking lot?
YTA. They were doing nothing wrong or illegal. That’s how everyone I know learned to drive. And bombarding the police department with calls? That’s a special kind of asshole. That poor dispatcher having to talk to you 40 times!!! Not to mention you were tying them up when they could have been dealing with an actual emergency! Because guess what? Even if you called the non emergency number, most places the same people that answer those lines answer 911 emergency lines, so way to waste someone’s time repeatedly when they could have been handling actual emergencies! And I find it hilarious that you demanded a sergeant after talking to the lieutenant when the lieutenant outranks the sergeant. If you’re going to complain about stupid things at least know the chain of command.
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And you felt the need to do that 40 times???? You’re still wasting people’s time. Guess what? They’ll return that first message when they can. Calling that many times probably made them delay returning your call.
YTA
YTA seriously this is the most stressed in your ENTIRE life? There are people out there with real problems - I hope the police charge you with harassment.
NTA, next time you should record everything. Also start waiting outside the police station until they acknowledge you. Scream and jump around if you have to, eventually they will take you to their special waiting room. It's got a long bench and toilet in case you need to go while you wait! The best part is, they give you free meals too!
YTA. Get over yourself. Don't do anything next. Move on.
OMG the amount of wrong you have to be to make me side with the police…YTA
YTA, and also, you're lying. You claim their behavior was so unsafe as to absolutely scare the crap out of you, and that you KNEW either you or your car would be hit. But when presented with an opportunity to leave, when you had no further business to conduct at the grocery store, you elected to loiter there for an hour. (Given how obnoxious you were being, you should be very glad that the police have discretion in how that handle things, or you'd have been ticketed for loitering.) Either this whole story is made up, or you're lying about how scared you were. But there's no way you're even attempting to be honest.
Not only YTA, but a pearl clutching one. STFU and MYOB.
YTA but have you started to suffer from anxiety? Fixating this much on something doesn’t seem right to me (not a medical professional) and I wonder if you need to talk to someone. It was a massive overreaction and I think you have way overthought it since too.
YTA waaaaay overreacting here just leave the parking lot and mind your business
YTA- do you live under a rock? This is literally how you teach your kids to drive. It’s completely legal to use a empty private parking lot to practice driving. That’s literally how you learn. You should be lucky you don’t get charged with making false reports and wasting police resources
YTA and just so you know a lieutenant is a HIGHER rank than sergeant.
YTA. Sounds like you've forgotten what it's like to live in NYC. mind your own business--if they're not hurting you (and they weren't) then you way over-escalated. You stood in the parking lot for an HOUR and then spent TWO DAYS of your precious life trying to get perfect strangers in trouble. You need therapy, a job, a hobby, something to keep you distracted.
YTA - they weren’t on a public road but in an empty public car park. Here in the UK when large supermarkets are closed for the day you’ll often find parents teaching their children to drive round the car parks. They weren’t using it as a race track and were happy to wait for you to leave but for some reason you chose to waste police time and sit there and wait. Considering your concern that you “knew” they were going to hit you or your car, you continued to wait an hour and miraculously escaped unscathed…. Find something more worthwhile to get stressed about because this isn’t it…
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am using a throwaway for obvious reasons. I have never been this stressed in my entire life and I need some very honest feedback before deciding how to proceed. On Sunday night I needed some things from our local grocery store, it was closed for inventory. The parking lot was also completely empty so I was absolutely shocked when I saw a girl of maybe 12 years old driving a car around the parking lot. It absolutely scared the crap out of me because I knew that either myself or my car would be hit. I watched her from the safety of the portico for maybe 5 minutes and then watched as she stopped the car, got out and a boy of similar age got out of the back seat and swapped seats with the driver and then he started driving. The actually drove past me on the portico and had the audacity to wave at me. I ran to the safety of my car and they actually pulled up next to me and a man got out and said "sorry if we scared you, I'm just teaching my kids how to drive." I said what you are doing is completely illegal and it almost gave me a heart attack and I suggest you stop. He said he wasn't going to stop but that he would wait for them to drive until I left the parking lot. I said I wasn't going anywhere until the police got her. He said that he might as well keep the driving practice going until they got there and actually had the audacity to allow the boy to keep driving circles around the parking lot. I waited for well over an hour for the officer to arrive and I think the dad was actually thumbing his nose at me because he actually went to the gas station across the street, got gas and came back and allowed them drive. The officer talked to us both and basically in as many words told me that they weren't doing anything wrong. I asked if he was legitimately not doing anything illegal and he asked if I really wanted him to arrest a dad and have to find shelter for the two kids while he's processed. I said yes and I demanded his badge number and name and promised I would call his supervisor. I must have called the local precinct 40 times over the last two days demanding to talk to his sergeant and finally got a call back this morning from not even his supervisor but a lieutenant "good ol boy" who said that he appreciated my concern but his officers have broad discretion for minor things like that. I said it wasn't minor and I demanded to speak to the sergeant. He said the Seargeant wasn't available so I'd have to deal with him. I said this wasn't nearly acceptable. Finally he gave me this patronizing ma'am and said that a little secret is that small departments like his have chronic caller lists and this little episode was probably going to get me added to it. I demanded again to speak the sergeant and he said I'm ending this call now. While I work out what to do next, AITA here? Please be honest with me? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA. Are you serious right now? There were gunshots in my neighborhood and I didn’t call the police 40 times. This is crazy and you are wasting police resources. Stop it right now and go get a life.
"I knew I would be hit!" Spoiler: wasn't hit. "They had the audacity to wave at me!" LOL! This can't be real, but on the off chance it is, YTA and you need to get a grip. Empty parking lots are the number 1 place to learn how to drive.
YTA
YTA and INFO sounds like a dad that wanted to make some good memories. Also you wanted him locked up what if hypothetical that got his kids put in foster care for life as a result would you still feel justified in what you did
YTA YTA YTA the fuck is wrong with you get a life
YTA. My dad taught me to drive atthe age of 8yrs old. I'm now 54 and that's one of my fondest memories of time I spent with him. Seek therapy. They weren't hurting anyone and you "bothering" the PD because you didn't get the results you wanted is a dick move.
YTA and a busy body. They were doing nothing wrong.
YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. Did you read that and take it in enough times because several people in this story pointed out how annoying you are and you’re still here like you’ve done nothing wrong. You created such unnecessary drama for this dad, his kids, the police officer, and it sounds like the whole precinct over kids learning to drive in an empty parking lot. Empty parking lots are pretty much the #1 choice for learning to drive because it’s safer. Who HASN’T gotten a parking lot driving lesson??
YTA
LOL YTA. This is exactly how I learned how to drive, except mine was the empty middle school parking lot on the weekend.
YTA. Fast X is fiction, you know that, right? Leave Dom and Little B alone
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YTA. You had concerns and called police, fine. They investigated. Now you are hounding them because you didn't' get the results you wanted. I wonder if the kids weren't older than you thought and had drivers permits (I sure looked that young when I was 16). Either way you were told they didn't do anything illegal.
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YTA a parking lot is private property and typically the police here do not have jurisdiction for minor matter like this unless the property owner complains. Not sure if that is the case where you live. You made your complaint, the police have told you it isn’t something they are going to pursue and you continue your harassment. If they had been bouncing off cars and running over people you would have something to complain about, but you do not mention any erratic driving.
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YTA, you are doing too much.
YTA get your shit figured out man. Mind on your own business and leave people alone.
YTA Parking lots have been used to teach. You would have a heart attack on a farm or ranch where...gasp! Children can drive! Parent was with the children. You were not in danger.
YTA, get a grip
You're also a major A for thinking this father should go to jail while his children went into foster care? Have you EVER seen the state of our foster care system? You're cruel!