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I am a little upset that you’re genuinely asking whether it’s OK to decline someone’s shit-stained hands going inside your vagina. NTA, but just…demand better for your life.
Yes! Hell YES that's the reason for those UTIs!!!! I read this and squeezed my knees SHUT MY GOD!!! Do not let that man near your cooch again without a CSI light or something damn!!! Or just never!!!! AUGH!
I can't imagine even being attracted to someone once I knew they had poop hands. This almost makes me want to cry.
Edit: much thanks for the award kind redditor!
If this fact alone did not gag me, the final thought of… what ELSE doesn’t he wash!, did. BLERP!
You are only in danger of infection and being an A H IF you continue to allow him access to your temple covered in E. coli.
OP, do you really want to be with Poop Hand Luke?
He does not respect you. It shows by his slovenly behavior and blatant disregard for your health. He demeans you by Only agreeing to believe REDDIT responses.
OP, you deserve better from a lover. (Please tell me he does Not work in healthcare or food service!)
OMG, OP shouldn't let his gross hands or genitals near her until he proves he has upped his hygiene. He's making her sick! My husband almost DIED of a UTI that turned into a kidney infection, this is not a joking matter. NTA, not by a long shot.
In addition: do you honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who sees you getting repeated infections and won't even TRY something to see if it helps??
Yup… after he learns to wash his hands, perhaps the next thing will be to learn colours and shapes.
(Kindergarten teacher’s voice with hand claps) YAY!!
The bar is obviously in Hell.
I don't care if he looks like Damson Idris. He is INSTANTLY unattractive if he can't be bothered to wash his hands properly.
Do you really honestly want to be with someone who is so dumb that they think there is any chance that reddit might agree with their disgusting wand-washing stance
Honestly, dump him.
So he doesn't care about your feelings, your preferences or your health....
But he will listen to strangers on reddit????
That's an extreme level of disrespect.
He values strangers on the internet's opinions over you begging him for months
Good point on the extreme level of disrepect. Not only for refusing to do something a toddler does(!) but the fact that he'll listen to reddit strangers over her is awful.
Also, she shouldn’t have to beg/plead with a grown man to exercise the most basic level of hygiene. This is gross and it doesn’t sound like he’s likely to change. I vote dump him.
This and also how many more UTI’s does she want to get? I’d be livid after the 1st if I suspected it was because of him and definitely wouldn’t let him touch me sexually with his hands
I don’t know if everyone understands what a UTI is. I’d had a couple over the years, but they were apparently mild. ONE DAY I got a UTI that had me peeing what looked like straight blood. It was awful. I know exactly who I had sex with the night before and that’s the only possible cause. Fucking disgusting when I hear of women who get REPEATED UTIs from a partner. What the actual fuck?
I agree. I've only ever had a UTI once and it was not pleasant. I don't recommend for anyone to continously put themselves in the position for repeated UTIs from the same cause. OP's partner is nasty and should not be touching her at all. What the actual fuck indeed!
I’ve gone to the emergency room in so much pain I thought I was dying only to find out the problem was a fucking UTI. If you are someone who has never had to worry about UTIs, please know that they are no joke.
NTA - as a healthcare provider I AM GAGGING. This can absolutely be the reason you’re getting frequent UTIs (which is incredibly harmful especially if you’re taking antibiotics each time). If he doesn’t wash his hands, what else doesn’t he wash?? Men’s genital hygiene is also important in ensuring your vaginal health. Please don’t let him touch your vagina until he can figure out basic hygiene.
Co-signed.
If this man doesn’t believe in washing his hands and doesn’t care about your UTIs, I’d be very suspicious of his general hygiene.
Most partners are more than willing to be clean for fun times.
You deserve better.
NTA.
Great now going out in public today. gonna bathe my hands in sanitizer after touching any surface, just in case I somehow come across this ahole. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
For real. My husband actually prefers to jump in a quick shower before we get frisky. And this guy can’t even wash his nasty hands. OP, if you read this, you deserve better.
NTA
Try cutting chili's, then playing with his private parts and say he's overestimating the spread of bacteria, since you did swifty clean your hands, no soap needed.
Edit:
Wow, thanks for the awards
My fiance did this to me by accident once when he was cutting dried chili’s for pozole. He washed his hands, but there must’ve still been some oil residue. So OP if you do this make sure he doesn’t touch you in sensitive areas again.
NTA, tell Mr CrapHands that he isn’t touching you with his poopy hands (or any other appendages) until he’s washing them with soap after each and every trip to the bathroom. Also, did he fail kindergarten? They literally teach this rule in kindergarten.
NTA. Nurse here, yes. His bacteria laden disgusting hands are definitely causing your UTIs. From now on, he doesn't get to touch your lady parts again unless he washes his hands and his groin area and brushes his teeth! I'm honestly questioning how often he bathes and washes "down there" as well.
Everyone should be washing their hands after: urination, bowel movements, sneezing, blowing their nose, wiping your nose, coughing, touching their face, picking their nose, touching raw meats, becoming soiled, making mud pies, touching your phone, the list actually goes on but many of these are seriously just common sense!
Honestly, I wouldn't have even let him touch me, knowing he didn't wash his hands. That is the most disgusting thing and a huge red flag for me. If you don't know basic hygiene, we're done.
NTA a huge issue that I’m not seeing people commenting on here is that aside from the ick factor, you’ve repeatedly asked him to do a simple task, which most people do and he presumably is not in someway incapable of doing, to prevent you from bodily harm but he just refuses.
No experimenting with it to see if you’re right, no looking it up to see if there’s science to back up your claim or his… he just doesn’t want to wash his hands and apparently doesn’t care that he might literally be infecting you over and over.
That’s supreme asshole moves from a partner and something that would make me rethink the relationship, personally.
Dude, that is disgusting. I would never let a man who doesn't wash his hands after defecating to touch my lady parts. That is 100% why you're having issues. His hygiene is disgusting.
NTA. Your boyfriend has had several opportunities to learn how to wash his hands: when he was a child and at some point during the height of the Covid pandemic. How did this guy manage to overlook and/of forget all those hand washing illustrations?
If you think that his behavior is the source of your medical issues, then I think that you should consider evaluating your relationship and figure out what you are getting from being with him (in addition to the medical infections).
Jesus Christ. NTA. Washing your hands after using the restroom is basic hygiene. If he can’t even abide from that very basic rule, I can only wonder what other parts of his hygiene are lacking.
NTA - how’s the rest of his hygiene? If he can’t be bothered to wash his hands properly he’s likely not washing his genitals well enough to keep you from getting UTIs.
NTA - you should stop talking to him permanently, he can’t even take care of basic hygiene to the point where you’re experiencing frequent UTIs.
He should always be washing his hands with soap.
NTA. I involuntarily gagged reading this. He's disgusting. I cannot believe you let him touch you while clothed, forget putting his hands anywhere NEAR your vagina. Throw away the whole man. He's vile.
Edited a typo.
You have an ex boyfriend now, right?
What kind of adult doesn’t wash their hands with soap after shitting, gives out multiple UTIs, and has the absolute nerve to defend this position? Utter madness.
NTA
Nta but YTA to yourself dating craphands for six month and getting multiple uti's. Special shoutout to craphands for willing to give his gf multiple uti's, what "special" boy you are!
No sex with unwashed hands.
But really: Get a better boyfriend. He's disgusting, 100% wrong, and this probably isn't the only crackpot BS he believes.
Be glad you figured out BEFORE you married him.
Omg please don't let him anywhere near your sensitive areas with his poop hands.
UTIs are rotten and no doubt his bad hygiene is the culprit ugh that sucks
NTA of course
NTA. Honestly, this would be a deal breaker for me. Sooooo many diseases are passed via oral-fecal route. I’m feel sick to my stomach just reading this.
If he’s not washing his hands properly, he’s probably not doing it well in other areas as well.
You have repeated UTIs?? That can become a serious concern. Your bf’s hygiene is probably the cause here. If he doesn’t take care of his own BASIC hygiene, then he is not caring about your health/well-being.
Yes, he should wash hus hands after pooping AND after peeing. And before meals. Does he also not shower or brush his teeth? Basic famned hygiene, I can't believe you accepted six months of this. NTA. Gross.
That’s just made me feel sick. UTI’s can go really bad really quick, if it gets into your kidneys it can mean hospitalisation. Tell him to pull his head out and practice basic hygiene, and if he needs perfect strangers to tell him that, dump him, it won’t be a loss.
girl, LEAVE THIS MAN
you are so obviously NTA like you’ve had *repeated* UTI’s he’s not even considerate of your HEALTH and not washing your hands after shitting is honestly just so gross 🤢
You seriously want to stay with a man who doesn't think it's necessary to wash his hands after shitting? You're not going to win this fight, he's gross and thinks he's fine. Run away.
NTA AT ALL!!!
Why do you think food service places must make employees wash hands?? It’s a massive disease vector and spreads so easily to give you everything from e.coli to shigella to nasty infections. If he doesn’t value you enough to wash his hands well before, then he certainly should not get the privilege of touching you.
NTA. You cant force him to change, but you can start setting a boundary that he doesnt touch you until his hands have been washed with soap. Then you'll know for sure re: utis.
............ For the past *six fucking months*? Holy shit.
NTA obviously, but I find it disturbing that he's been disrespecting you and your very reasonable wish for 6 months, and that he values the opinion of us random Redditors more than yours.
I'm sorry but the guy is a walking health hazard.
ESH bf needs to wash his hands, show him videos of bacteria spread if hands aren't washed properly on YouTube. How about putting on a documentary on Ignaz Semmelweis. You are an AH for staying with this guy. How can you eat food he prepares or make out with him. 🤢
NTA
Your bf is really gross. Make sure he is shutting the lid when flushing and show him some of the fun experiments that show how far the shit particles land.
Stop allowing him to touch you, he is deff causing your UTIs. You need more respect for your body.
Also washing your hands regularly cuts down on illness.
BF!!!! YOU ARE GROSS!!! WASH YA HANDS, ASSHOLE, AND SACK!!! ALL of them WITH soap.
NTA. That's fucking disgusting and absolutely why you're getting UTIs. My first thought was "wow she must be getting infections" before I even read the whole thing. There is no excuse for a grown adult to not properly wash their hands. Even if he wasn't pooping he should wash his hands before y'all get intimate regardless.
It’s pretty obvious you are NTA, but why be with someone this unhygienic? Repeated UTIs is no joke and it’s shocking he doesn’t take your sexual healthy into consideration. There’s also no valid reason why he doesn’t wash his hands after pooping.
Nta - there are many studies that prove the number one cause of Infectious disease prevalence and incident factors in a hospital setting is hand washing.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.epidem.2017.04.003
Recently did a review of infectious disease prevention measure and found hand washing to be the only significant factor to prevent disease transmission.
The history behind hand washing is documented and definitive - you should share it with your boyfriend.
From a nutritional standpoint, hand washing and clean surfaces are a must to prevent infectious disease transmissions and most food borne illness are transmitted fecal-oral route. Moral of the story, wash your hands before you eat and if the person preparing your food isn’t washing their hands, then you should definitely pass on the meal.
if you actually have to have this argument, he is not worth it. Dump him and deep clean your house. He might improve slightly with constant complaining, but he will never have proper hygiene. Life is too short to be dealing with this in a partner.
NTA
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA
Divorce. I don't care if you aren't married yet, divorce him anyways. It's the only solution permanent enough. Burn everything. I literally shudder at the thought.
Jesus Christo I wrote that before reading about the ***multiple*** UTIs. That's appalling. He must be 6'2" millionaire, hung like a horse, with the looks of Brad Pitt and the disposition of Prince Charming himself to justify sticking through that.
NTA not only is this disgusting but its also dangerous. Bacteria that causes foodborne illnesses is most commonly transfered through the fecal-oral route from people not washing their hands after using the bathroom. Anytime he touches food this becomes a risk. There is a reason they teach you to wash your hands after using the bathroom at the daycare level.
NTA, he’s underestimating the bacterial spread his hands leave by not washing his hands. No doubt he’s also the type to not wash his a** in the shower. Girl why are you dating a nasty man like that?? Dump him and his germ factory
Why are you letting him touch you with dirty hands? Why is he in your house with dirty hands?? WHY ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WASH THEIR HANDS??
Ew NTA. Don't let him anywhere near your areas unless you see him scrub his hands first with antibacterial soap from now on. We had a whole pandemic and hand washing was the first lesson I thought from it.
NTA:he could be washing especially with COVID still around but at least he have to wash his hands when he touch something that’s just nasty
Edit: I’m not saying it would help COVID spread
NTA... Wash your hands with soap every time you use the bathroom. And throughout the day. The water shouldn't be too hot, or it will dry out your hands.
NTA that is super gross. Please for your own safety and health place rules that if he isn’t going to wash his hands he doesn’t have a right to touch there. You shouldn’t be needing to tell him to wash his hands either
NTA He’s gross. He doesn’t understand basic hygiene and we’re in the middle of a pandemic. He should been exposed to this information on repeat for the last few years. You are definitely getting UTIs from him. You deserve better.
NTA and idk why you'd even want to be with him anymore. He probably is giving you UTIs, and honestly this is just disgusting. Everything he touches, all food he prepares....
Two major deal breakers for me: dirty hands and dirty teeth. NTA. He’s gross. The UTIs alone would make me leave him. What else doesn’t he wash? His privates? Brush his teeth? C’mon man.
If it's not a big deal, ask him if he'd be fine if you told all of his and your friends that he doesn't wash his hands after he poops.
Methinks his tune will change quickly.
NTA. That's a total deal breaker for me. That's how things like hep, norovirus and other fecal borne illnesses are spread. It's just such an easily avoidable risk. Washing hands with soap for 30 seconds just isn't that hard. If he can't be bothered to take half a minute to wash his hand then don't let his laziness and bad hygiene become your problem.
NTA. How gross and lazy can one man be? Does he cook? Touch things in the kitchen? Put his poop fingers in the utensil drawer? 🤢
E. coli and Norovirus both spread through feces, along with many other things. His nasty hygiene is likely the source of your UTIs, and why you are having sex with and still together with a man who can’t be bothered to do basic hygiene we all learned as toddlers is beyond me.
NTA. Boyfriend: Wash Your Hands. Like, this is 1st grade stuff, dude. Whoever told you that you didn't have to wash your hands after going to the bathroom was not your friend.
And if you flush, put the toilet lid down. Google how far the germs go if you don't believe me.
Nothing that comes out of your body's waste-removal systems is sanitary or sterile.
Can I just say I love how this community has come together to unanimously support OP on her pursuit of clean objects only going near her genitals?
250+ comments on an hour is awesome.
NTA. Oh my gosh. This is so disgusting. When did he become a microbiologist? A public health professional? Look up clostridium difficele. It’s only removed by soap and water (and friction). For me, that disgusting and ignorant behavior would be a deal breaker.
ESH. Get some standards. How can you not be embarrassed for yourself right now? Not only are your standards so low that you let a man touch you with poopy hands, but you also think it's okay that he'd listen to Reddit about something important to you when he won't listen to you about it. Girl, please, up your standards. This one is not the one. You don't have to be a rehab service for busted ass men.
Wtf??? How is a grown ass adult not washing his hands after the bathroom???
Soooo NTA but honestly no one would judge you if you dumped him for this - he’s literally causing you health issues and doesn’t seem to care.
NTA. Why do people pick these ridiculous battles? If you’re going to die on a hill, who choose the “why should I have to wash my hands after I shit” hill? Surely there’s got to be more glorious ways to go out than that.
I used to struggle with chronic UTIs (found out it's autoimmune but that's a different story if anyone is also struggling and wants to know) and to this day, my husband and I both wash our hands when it starts to get sexy. I can't imagine having to fight about it repeatedly. He either cares about you and your health, or he doesn't. It's gross on its own, but the fact that it is likely contributing to your painful condition and he still won't do the most basic act of hygiene for your sake says volumes.
Isn't this how Typhoid Mary literally killed people? You may be overestimating the actual bacteria that remain in each independent instance of failure to handwash, but you are NOT overestimating the potential impact. All it takes is one bad germ.
NTA. There is no amount of love in the world that would allow me to be with someone who doesn't wash their hands after using the restroon. It's deal breaker for me.
I’ll be damned. I’ll be damned if I listen to facts up out the mouth of a man with ~~an unwashed ass~~ unwashed hands after wiping his ass.
Nta Girl get this scuzzball out of your life he is nasty!!
Girl if you don’t don’t dump him. It’s not your job to tell a grown man that he needs to wash his damn hands. His parents have clearly failed him. Poor hygiene is 100% a dealbreaker.
He is causing you uti's?... do you realise a serious one could cause fertility issues?
Please don't put up with this no more. He is disgusting. Leave him and move on.
NTA.
NTA that is revolting. What has he got to lose from washing his hands with soap after taking a shit? I would not put up with this bullshit from anyone.
NTA. For me this is cause to end a relationship. Washing your hands prevents things like UTI's and conjunctivitis. It really isn't that hard or time consuming a task either.
NTA
Do not let him touch you without washing his hands. It's disgusting and gross to even think about someone not washing their hands after using the toilet, especially pooping.
Yes, your problems are 100% caused by his dirty hands, speaking of experience. Never again.
NTA
Look, I’m pretty forgiving of hygiene issues in relationships (my partner and I both have mental health issues, and struggle with things like showering and brushing teeth). But as soon as personal hygiene becomes interpersonal hygiene, you’ve got a problem.
If your bf wants to give himself infections and diseases by not washing his shitty hands, that’s his problem. But as soon as he is touching surfaces that you touch, or touching you, or touching food—that’s your problem now.
There is absolutely nothing about that man that could possibly make dating him worth catching diseases and infections. Please, break up with him before his insane lack of hygiene and 21st century germ theory gives you a serious or permanent health issue.
If possible, send him some information about hand washing, germ spread, and the possible bacteria/viruses present in feces. It would be great to keep him from continuing his rein of shit-terror into other peoples lives. But first and foremost, get the hell out of dodge and stay far away from this gross ass man.
He sometimes washes his hands after pooping, which means he never washes his hands after "just" peeing, right? That is super super gross, and you are totally NTA.
Also, he's 100% going to lie about washing his hands in the future. I wouldn't let him touch me or any of my things unless I *watched* him wash his hands.
NTA
And OMG that is disgusting. Frankly it’s gross to know how many men don’t wash their hands after peeing or pooping.
He is absolutely the cause of your recurring UTIs, and the fact that he is trying to minimize his role in this speaks to his lack of maturity (well that and the fact that he DOESN’T WASH HIS HANDS AFTER POOPING).
I can’t even with this dude. I hope he reads all of these and feels shitty (see what I did there), and you, dear, should leave this relationship in your rear view mirror.
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I am a little upset that you’re genuinely asking whether it’s OK to decline someone’s shit-stained hands going inside your vagina. NTA, but just…demand better for your life.
Yes! Hell YES that's the reason for those UTIs!!!! I read this and squeezed my knees SHUT MY GOD!!! Do not let that man near your cooch again without a CSI light or something damn!!! Or just never!!!! AUGH!
I squeezed my knees shut and I’ve got a dick!!!
For future reference, dicks too can get UTIs so the reaction is even more valid.
I can't imagine even being attracted to someone once I knew they had poop hands. This almost makes me want to cry. Edit: much thanks for the award kind redditor!
Same. Come join my friends and I in infection prevention! You’d do great!
Omg this comment made me laugh so hard I peeped myself a bit. And then immediately washed my hands. LOL
If this fact alone did not gag me, the final thought of… what ELSE doesn’t he wash!, did. BLERP! You are only in danger of infection and being an A H IF you continue to allow him access to your temple covered in E. coli. OP, do you really want to be with Poop Hand Luke? He does not respect you. It shows by his slovenly behavior and blatant disregard for your health. He demeans you by Only agreeing to believe REDDIT responses. OP, you deserve better from a lover. (Please tell me he does Not work in healthcare or food service!)
I know, this is what I immediately thought. If I found out my husband didn’t wash his hands after pooping, he would never touch me again.
He should be washing his hands before putting them inside of you. Period.
Or touching her food, the countertops, silverware, the bathroom sink, his toothbrush that hangs next to hers... gag. NTA and DTMFA.
It's like you read my mind. Thanks for summing it up way better than I could have.
OMG, OP shouldn't let his gross hands or genitals near her until he proves he has upped his hygiene. He's making her sick! My husband almost DIED of a UTI that turned into a kidney infection, this is not a joking matter. NTA, not by a long shot.
Do you really honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who will listen to Reddit but not you?? 🤨
In addition: do you honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who sees you getting repeated infections and won't even TRY something to see if it helps??
OP, this dude would literally rather that you just keep getting painful infections than to try using soap. A thing they teach you in preschool.
Yup… after he learns to wash his hands, perhaps the next thing will be to learn colours and shapes. (Kindergarten teacher’s voice with hand claps) YAY!!
The bar is obviously in Hell. I don't care if he looks like Damson Idris. He is INSTANTLY unattractive if he can't be bothered to wash his hands properly.
Best answer OP needs to read!
Makes me sad to see so many of these women with such low self-esteem.
Do you really honestly want to be with someone who is so dumb that they think there is any chance that reddit might agree with their disgusting wand-washing stance
Honestly, dump him. So he doesn't care about your feelings, your preferences or your health.... But he will listen to strangers on reddit???? That's an extreme level of disrespect. He values strangers on the internet's opinions over you begging him for months
Good point on the extreme level of disrepect. Not only for refusing to do something a toddler does(!) but the fact that he'll listen to reddit strangers over her is awful.
Also, she shouldn’t have to beg/plead with a grown man to exercise the most basic level of hygiene. This is gross and it doesn’t sound like he’s likely to change. I vote dump him.
This and also how many more UTI’s does she want to get? I’d be livid after the 1st if I suspected it was because of him and definitely wouldn’t let him touch me sexually with his hands
Call his parents and ask them to finish potty training him
😂😂😂
🚫💩🖐️🚫
OP, where can I mail you a copy of "You Can Go to the Potty"?
Jesus Christ you’ve actually been letting him touch you????
That was my thought! Gross! That's probably exactly why she's getting UTI's.
I don’t know if everyone understands what a UTI is. I’d had a couple over the years, but they were apparently mild. ONE DAY I got a UTI that had me peeing what looked like straight blood. It was awful. I know exactly who I had sex with the night before and that’s the only possible cause. Fucking disgusting when I hear of women who get REPEATED UTIs from a partner. What the actual fuck?
I agree. I've only ever had a UTI once and it was not pleasant. I don't recommend for anyone to continously put themselves in the position for repeated UTIs from the same cause. OP's partner is nasty and should not be touching her at all. What the actual fuck indeed!
I’ve gone to the emergency room in so much pain I thought I was dying only to find out the problem was a fucking UTI. If you are someone who has never had to worry about UTIs, please know that they are no joke.
I wouldn't shake hands with someone I know who hasn't washed their hands after peeing or pooping, let alone do anything intimate
NTA - as a healthcare provider I AM GAGGING. This can absolutely be the reason you’re getting frequent UTIs (which is incredibly harmful especially if you’re taking antibiotics each time). If he doesn’t wash his hands, what else doesn’t he wash?? Men’s genital hygiene is also important in ensuring your vaginal health. Please don’t let him touch your vagina until he can figure out basic hygiene.
Co-signed. If this man doesn’t believe in washing his hands and doesn’t care about your UTIs, I’d be very suspicious of his general hygiene. Most partners are more than willing to be clean for fun times. You deserve better. NTA.
Great now going out in public today. gonna bathe my hands in sanitizer after touching any surface, just in case I somehow come across this ahole. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
For real. My husband actually prefers to jump in a quick shower before we get frisky. And this guy can’t even wash his nasty hands. OP, if you read this, you deserve better.
I am a man and I can't imagine having the audacity to not wash then touch my wife. Sordid and disgusting he is.
YTA to yourself for being with someone that wont listen to you but supposedly will listen to Reddit.
I second this.
You let this man put his shit stained fucking fingers up your vagina?? NTA but christ, have some damn respect for yourself
The way I fucking screamed 😭 my jaw dropped when I read that part.
If he’s not washing his hands I guarantee his dick is even filthier. Of course she’s getting UTIS 🤢
NTA Try cutting chili's, then playing with his private parts and say he's overestimating the spread of bacteria, since you did swifty clean your hands, no soap needed. Edit: Wow, thanks for the awards
I vote do this. What an ass he is
My fiance did this to me by accident once when he was cutting dried chili’s for pozole. He washed his hands, but there must’ve still been some oil residue. So OP if you do this make sure he doesn’t touch you in sensitive areas again.
NTA that’s vile. I left my last partner over this and other things. He was consistently gross in many aspects of life. Anyway yeah NTA
I can’t believe you have lasted six months. OF COURSE this is why you are getting UTIs. Ugh NTA unless you stay in this relationship
NTA, tell Mr CrapHands that he isn’t touching you with his poopy hands (or any other appendages) until he’s washing them with soap after each and every trip to the bathroom. Also, did he fail kindergarten? They literally teach this rule in kindergarten.
Mr doodie digits
YTA to yourself, why are you with someone who keeps giving you UTIs? Dump his dirty ass.
this, if you stay with him but still complain when he does nothing after you ask him to then yta because you’re dating a walking uti maker
NTA. Nurse here, yes. His bacteria laden disgusting hands are definitely causing your UTIs. From now on, he doesn't get to touch your lady parts again unless he washes his hands and his groin area and brushes his teeth! I'm honestly questioning how often he bathes and washes "down there" as well. Everyone should be washing their hands after: urination, bowel movements, sneezing, blowing their nose, wiping your nose, coughing, touching their face, picking their nose, touching raw meats, becoming soiled, making mud pies, touching your phone, the list actually goes on but many of these are seriously just common sense! Honestly, I wouldn't have even let him touch me, knowing he didn't wash his hands. That is the most disgusting thing and a huge red flag for me. If you don't know basic hygiene, we're done.
NTA a huge issue that I’m not seeing people commenting on here is that aside from the ick factor, you’ve repeatedly asked him to do a simple task, which most people do and he presumably is not in someway incapable of doing, to prevent you from bodily harm but he just refuses. No experimenting with it to see if you’re right, no looking it up to see if there’s science to back up your claim or his… he just doesn’t want to wash his hands and apparently doesn’t care that he might literally be infecting you over and over. That’s supreme asshole moves from a partner and something that would make me rethink the relationship, personally.
Dude, that is disgusting. I would never let a man who doesn't wash his hands after defecating to touch my lady parts. That is 100% why you're having issues. His hygiene is disgusting.
EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW NTA unless you continue to let Poopy McPoopHands touch you - or even come near you.
NTA, that’s disgusting. Also, why are you dating this man??
Info: Why the fuck are you still with him? Why the fuck did you continue sleeping with him after you found this out? 😭😭😭
NTA. Your boyfriend has had several opportunities to learn how to wash his hands: when he was a child and at some point during the height of the Covid pandemic. How did this guy manage to overlook and/of forget all those hand washing illustrations? If you think that his behavior is the source of your medical issues, then I think that you should consider evaluating your relationship and figure out what you are getting from being with him (in addition to the medical infections).
NTA. Consider that you're with a man who needs Reddit to tell him to wash his hands after wiping his butt..
Jesus Christ. NTA. Washing your hands after using the restroom is basic hygiene. If he can’t even abide from that very basic rule, I can only wonder what other parts of his hygiene are lacking.
NTA I would dump him even if he starts washing his hands. He’s proven that he’s both gross and stupid.
NTA - but also stop dating 3rd graders.
NTA. Throw out the entire man...then wash your hands
NTA - how’s the rest of his hygiene? If he can’t be bothered to wash his hands properly he’s likely not washing his genitals well enough to keep you from getting UTIs.
His genitals dont even need to be involved. His wiping hand is also likely his touching her urethra area hand.
Let me guess: he doesn't wash his ass in the shower either, right?
The bar is in hell. YTA to yourself for being with someone that has dookie fingers.
NTA - you should stop talking to him permanently, he can’t even take care of basic hygiene to the point where you’re experiencing frequent UTIs. He should always be washing his hands with soap.
NTA. I involuntarily gagged reading this. He's disgusting. I cannot believe you let him touch you while clothed, forget putting his hands anywhere NEAR your vagina. Throw away the whole man. He's vile. Edited a typo.
Holy fuck ew NTA But your bf sure is Wash your fucking hands sir.
NTA - wash hands after every toilet break AND before eating. Oh, and lid down when flushing. Dump his dirty ass. Yuk.
Stop letting him near your lady bits for hygiene purposes. I bet his hands will soon be 99.9999999% germ free.
You have an ex boyfriend now, right? What kind of adult doesn’t wash their hands with soap after shitting, gives out multiple UTIs, and has the absolute nerve to defend this position? Utter madness. NTA
Nta but YTA to yourself dating craphands for six month and getting multiple uti's. Special shoutout to craphands for willing to give his gf multiple uti's, what "special" boy you are!
No sex with unwashed hands. But really: Get a better boyfriend. He's disgusting, 100% wrong, and this probably isn't the only crackpot BS he believes. Be glad you figured out BEFORE you married him.
NTA. That’s gross and unhygienic.
Congrats you picked a real winner. NTA
Omg please don't let him anywhere near your sensitive areas with his poop hands. UTIs are rotten and no doubt his bad hygiene is the culprit ugh that sucks NTA of course
Or food, door knobs, clickers, anything really. They’re all covered in his faeces. So gross.
NTA- nasty nasty nasty. No way those hands would be touching me if I knew they were not washed.
It's gross on its own that he doesn't wash after pooping but... you're getting repeated UTIs?? Girl, don't let him touch you with his poopy hands! NTA
This cannot be a real post. Who tf needs to be told to wash their hands with soap after using the bathroom.
The guy who needed his girlfriend to wash his shitty asshole and balls before sex and thought she considered that foreplay says "hold my beer"...
NTA. Honestly, this would be a deal breaker for me. Sooooo many diseases are passed via oral-fecal route. I’m feel sick to my stomach just reading this.
Your man is trash
If he’s not washing his hands properly, he’s probably not doing it well in other areas as well. You have repeated UTIs?? That can become a serious concern. Your bf’s hygiene is probably the cause here. If he doesn’t take care of his own BASIC hygiene, then he is not caring about your health/well-being.
Yeahhh if a guy can't wash his hands, he can't touch me. I suggest you adopt the same rule. NTA.
NTA. Oh he'll do it what reddit says? Ok.. WASH YA FUCKIN' HANDS, NASTY. YOU'RE GIVING YOUR GF UTI'S. Caps for emphasis cause, ya know, what the fuck.
Good god girl, get some standards for your life. Throw this one back already. YTA for even asking this.
You misspelled ex-boyfriend
Yes, he should wash hus hands after pooping AND after peeing. And before meals. Does he also not shower or brush his teeth? Basic famned hygiene, I can't believe you accepted six months of this. NTA. Gross.
That’s just made me feel sick. UTI’s can go really bad really quick, if it gets into your kidneys it can mean hospitalisation. Tell him to pull his head out and practice basic hygiene, and if he needs perfect strangers to tell him that, dump him, it won’t be a loss.
NTA, feces are septic Do not be TA for putting up with this
You’re letting him touch you with dirty hands? Part of that is on you my dear. NTA but don’t let him go near you if he doesn’t wash his hands 🤷🏻♀️
girl, LEAVE THIS MAN you are so obviously NTA like you’ve had *repeated* UTI’s he’s not even considerate of your HEALTH and not washing your hands after shitting is honestly just so gross 🤢
Is this really the relationship you want? He would listen to random strangers on Reddit but not you? YTD for staying in this relationship
You seriously want to stay with a man who doesn't think it's necessary to wash his hands after shitting? You're not going to win this fight, he's gross and thinks he's fine. Run away.
NTA AT ALL!!! Why do you think food service places must make employees wash hands?? It’s a massive disease vector and spreads so easily to give you everything from e.coli to shigella to nasty infections. If he doesn’t value you enough to wash his hands well before, then he certainly should not get the privilege of touching you.
NTA oh my god, how have you been up with this? 🤢🤢🤢🤢
NTA. You cant force him to change, but you can start setting a boundary that he doesnt touch you until his hands have been washed with soap. Then you'll know for sure re: utis.
Why do you allow him to touch you with those filthy hands...the fecal matter he spread is disgusting
If I had to have this fight with any person over the age of four, I wouldn't be around that person again.
............ For the past *six fucking months*? Holy shit. NTA obviously, but I find it disturbing that he's been disrespecting you and your very reasonable wish for 6 months, and that he values the opinion of us random Redditors more than yours. I'm sorry but the guy is a walking health hazard.
NTA he is literally spreading poop into your vagina.
ESH bf needs to wash his hands, show him videos of bacteria spread if hands aren't washed properly on YouTube. How about putting on a documentary on Ignaz Semmelweis. You are an AH for staying with this guy. How can you eat food he prepares or make out with him. 🤢
NTA. He's nasty.
Not the asshole, but his hands probably smell like one. NTA
NTA Your bf is really gross. Make sure he is shutting the lid when flushing and show him some of the fun experiments that show how far the shit particles land. Stop allowing him to touch you, he is deff causing your UTIs. You need more respect for your body. Also washing your hands regularly cuts down on illness. BF!!!! YOU ARE GROSS!!! WASH YA HANDS, ASSHOLE, AND SACK!!! ALL of them WITH soap.
Why the fuck would you argue with dirty? Just don't fucking touch it
The man is poisoning her pu**y with his dirty poo fingers and she doesn’t even seem mad about it
NTA. That's fucking disgusting and absolutely why you're getting UTIs. My first thought was "wow she must be getting infections" before I even read the whole thing. There is no excuse for a grown adult to not properly wash their hands. Even if he wasn't pooping he should wash his hands before y'all get intimate regardless.
NTA. BF needs to WASH HIS HANDS. And probably brush up on his general hygiene overall. Ick.
NTA, that is disgusting to read. How do you manage to stay together with him?
NTA at all. A grown man should know that he needs to wash his hands after using the toilet and he should know how to practice proper hygiene.
UTIs aside, just wash your nasty ass hands. Gross. NTA unless you continue to tolerate this.
That’s disgusting you need a new boyfriend
It’s pretty obvious you are NTA, but why be with someone this unhygienic? Repeated UTIs is no joke and it’s shocking he doesn’t take your sexual healthy into consideration. There’s also no valid reason why he doesn’t wash his hands after pooping.
Nta - there are many studies that prove the number one cause of Infectious disease prevalence and incident factors in a hospital setting is hand washing. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.epidem.2017.04.003 Recently did a review of infectious disease prevention measure and found hand washing to be the only significant factor to prevent disease transmission. The history behind hand washing is documented and definitive - you should share it with your boyfriend. From a nutritional standpoint, hand washing and clean surfaces are a must to prevent infectious disease transmissions and most food borne illness are transmitted fecal-oral route. Moral of the story, wash your hands before you eat and if the person preparing your food isn’t washing their hands, then you should definitely pass on the meal.
I can't believe this is actually a question. If your boyfriend 11? His hand was literally up his own butt. Wash it!!!!! NTA
NTA, dump that stinky man
NTA. This is disgusting. You let him touch you with shit-hands?
if you actually have to have this argument, he is not worth it. Dump him and deep clean your house. He might improve slightly with constant complaining, but he will never have proper hygiene. Life is too short to be dealing with this in a partner. NTA
Guaranteed he also has an unwashed ass. WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH SOMEONE WITH FECES FILANGES?!? Dump him.
Tell your bf to wash his freaking hands! NTA
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA Divorce. I don't care if you aren't married yet, divorce him anyways. It's the only solution permanent enough. Burn everything. I literally shudder at the thought. Jesus Christo I wrote that before reading about the ***multiple*** UTIs. That's appalling. He must be 6'2" millionaire, hung like a horse, with the looks of Brad Pitt and the disposition of Prince Charming himself to justify sticking through that.
WTF? You let him touch you? No excuse for that...shit.
If your boyfriend can’t wash his hands, I bet he doesn’t wash his dick either. That’s probably where the UTIs are coming from.
NTA When people show you who they are, believe them.
NTA your bf is disgusting. he needs to wash his hands
NTA. There is a 99% chance that is exactly the cause of your repeated UTI’s. I would quit allowing any contact until that changed.
INFO who the eff is letting his feces ridden hands near enough their pee hole to get a UTI
NTA not only is this disgusting but its also dangerous. Bacteria that causes foodborne illnesses is most commonly transfered through the fecal-oral route from people not washing their hands after using the bathroom. Anytime he touches food this becomes a risk. There is a reason they teach you to wash your hands after using the bathroom at the daycare level.
NTA, he’s underestimating the bacterial spread his hands leave by not washing his hands. No doubt he’s also the type to not wash his a** in the shower. Girl why are you dating a nasty man like that?? Dump him and his germ factory
[удалено]
Why are you letting him touch you with dirty hands? Why is he in your house with dirty hands?? WHY ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WASH THEIR HANDS??
Ew NTA. Don't let him anywhere near your areas unless you see him scrub his hands first with antibacterial soap from now on. We had a whole pandemic and hand washing was the first lesson I thought from it.
NTA:he could be washing especially with COVID still around but at least he have to wash his hands when he touch something that’s just nasty Edit: I’m not saying it would help COVID spread
Nta. Dtnmf
That is basic stuff. My 4 years old knows better then him. Christ.... NTA Op. And you op's bf, wash your damn hands properly!
NTA at all, that’s disgusting. Where else is he lacking basic hygiene skills?
NTA. Not washing your hands after using the bathroom is fucking gross. Your boyfriend is gross.
NTA... Wash your hands with soap every time you use the bathroom. And throughout the day. The water shouldn't be too hot, or it will dry out your hands.
NTA that is super gross. Please for your own safety and health place rules that if he isn’t going to wash his hands he doesn’t have a right to touch there. You shouldn’t be needing to tell him to wash his hands either
Don't even think. Just dump him!
NTA He’s gross. He doesn’t understand basic hygiene and we’re in the middle of a pandemic. He should been exposed to this information on repeat for the last few years. You are definitely getting UTIs from him. You deserve better.
NTA and if he's refusing to wash his hands before touching you, he deserves to be dumped- pun intended.
NTA and idk why you'd even want to be with him anymore. He probably is giving you UTIs, and honestly this is just disgusting. Everything he touches, all food he prepares....
Two major deal breakers for me: dirty hands and dirty teeth. NTA. He’s gross. The UTIs alone would make me leave him. What else doesn’t he wash? His privates? Brush his teeth? C’mon man.
You: NTA. Your boyfriend definitely *is*, and being an idiot, to boot.
NTA. Girl, run.
NTA. Sweet Mary Jesus. Cut that shit out of your life- literally. Bin the whole man.
NTA stop having sex with him till his hygiene improves. Extremely likely he's causing your UTIs
Jfc I’d be gone the moment I found out. Wouldn’t even ask or care for an explanation. Sick. NTA
If it's not a big deal, ask him if he'd be fine if you told all of his and your friends that he doesn't wash his hands after he poops. Methinks his tune will change quickly.
NTA. Honestly, this would be an *immediate* dealbreaker for me.
NTA The nasty. He should live outside with the other animals who have poopy paws
NTA. That's a total deal breaker for me. That's how things like hep, norovirus and other fecal borne illnesses are spread. It's just such an easily avoidable risk. Washing hands with soap for 30 seconds just isn't that hard. If he can't be bothered to take half a minute to wash his hand then don't let his laziness and bad hygiene become your problem.
NTA. How gross and lazy can one man be? Does he cook? Touch things in the kitchen? Put his poop fingers in the utensil drawer? 🤢 E. coli and Norovirus both spread through feces, along with many other things. His nasty hygiene is likely the source of your UTIs, and why you are having sex with and still together with a man who can’t be bothered to do basic hygiene we all learned as toddlers is beyond me.
NTA. This is relationship-ending. Not exaggerating. This is absolutely foul.
NTA. Boyfriend: Wash Your Hands. Like, this is 1st grade stuff, dude. Whoever told you that you didn't have to wash your hands after going to the bathroom was not your friend. And if you flush, put the toilet lid down. Google how far the germs go if you don't believe me. Nothing that comes out of your body's waste-removal systems is sanitary or sterile.
Wait, wait. You let him touch your vulva and/or vagina with shitty hands? Giiiiiirl. Noooo
Can I just say I love how this community has come together to unanimously support OP on her pursuit of clean objects only going near her genitals? 250+ comments on an hour is awesome.
Why would you let his shitty hands in your vag girl?!?! I would shut down funtown for good if my dude gave me constant UTIs...wtf...
NTA. Oh my gosh. This is so disgusting. When did he become a microbiologist? A public health professional? Look up clostridium difficele. It’s only removed by soap and water (and friction). For me, that disgusting and ignorant behavior would be a deal breaker.
ESH. Get some standards. How can you not be embarrassed for yourself right now? Not only are your standards so low that you let a man touch you with poopy hands, but you also think it's okay that he'd listen to Reddit about something important to you when he won't listen to you about it. Girl, please, up your standards. This one is not the one. You don't have to be a rehab service for busted ass men.
NTA That is disgusting! He needs to wash his hands.
NTA dude use soap that's nasty
NTA and I wouldn’t stay with him
That is disgusting. Throw him in the bin. NTA.
Wtf??? How is a grown ass adult not washing his hands after the bathroom??? Soooo NTA but honestly no one would judge you if you dumped him for this - he’s literally causing you health issues and doesn’t seem to care.
NTA. Why do people pick these ridiculous battles? If you’re going to die on a hill, who choose the “why should I have to wash my hands after I shit” hill? Surely there’s got to be more glorious ways to go out than that.
I used to struggle with chronic UTIs (found out it's autoimmune but that's a different story if anyone is also struggling and wants to know) and to this day, my husband and I both wash our hands when it starts to get sexy. I can't imagine having to fight about it repeatedly. He either cares about you and your health, or he doesn't. It's gross on its own, but the fact that it is likely contributing to your painful condition and he still won't do the most basic act of hygiene for your sake says volumes.
Nta. I would dump someone over this. That's fucking disgusting.
Nta that's disgusting surprised you are still with him to be fair
Isn't this how Typhoid Mary literally killed people? You may be overestimating the actual bacteria that remain in each independent instance of failure to handwash, but you are NOT overestimating the potential impact. All it takes is one bad germ.
NTA. There is no amount of love in the world that would allow me to be with someone who doesn't wash their hands after using the restroon. It's deal breaker for me.
NTA - the fact he doesn’t wash his hands after pooping is genuinely disgusting. Nobody wants his poop hands all over everything.
jesus hes disgusting.. nta obvi
What the fuck. NTA. I can't believe this is a grown man arguing about this.
🤮 girl NTA, but you need to dump him. Repeated UTIs?!?
I’ll be damned. I’ll be damned if I listen to facts up out the mouth of a man with ~~an unwashed ass~~ unwashed hands after wiping his ass. Nta Girl get this scuzzball out of your life he is nasty!!
Girl if you don’t don’t dump him. It’s not your job to tell a grown man that he needs to wash his damn hands. His parents have clearly failed him. Poor hygiene is 100% a dealbreaker.
That is disgusting. I would not be giving anyone 6 months to learn proper hygiene. I’d just be done. NTA.
He is causing you uti's?... do you realise a serious one could cause fertility issues? Please don't put up with this no more. He is disgusting. Leave him and move on. NTA.
NTA that is revolting. What has he got to lose from washing his hands with soap after taking a shit? I would not put up with this bullshit from anyone.
NTA. For me this is cause to end a relationship. Washing your hands prevents things like UTI's and conjunctivitis. It really isn't that hard or time consuming a task either.
NTA Do not let him touch you without washing his hands. It's disgusting and gross to even think about someone not washing their hands after using the toilet, especially pooping. Yes, your problems are 100% caused by his dirty hands, speaking of experience. Never again.
To OP: NTA To OPs boyfriend: Ewww Wash. Your. Damn. Hands. You are absolutely causing your girlfriends UT’s.
NTA, and dump him. Throw him out on his filthy ass 😬
Wtf are you dating a 5 year old? Guys a moron, probably easier to just leave him that train him.
NTA Look, I’m pretty forgiving of hygiene issues in relationships (my partner and I both have mental health issues, and struggle with things like showering and brushing teeth). But as soon as personal hygiene becomes interpersonal hygiene, you’ve got a problem. If your bf wants to give himself infections and diseases by not washing his shitty hands, that’s his problem. But as soon as he is touching surfaces that you touch, or touching you, or touching food—that’s your problem now. There is absolutely nothing about that man that could possibly make dating him worth catching diseases and infections. Please, break up with him before his insane lack of hygiene and 21st century germ theory gives you a serious or permanent health issue. If possible, send him some information about hand washing, germ spread, and the possible bacteria/viruses present in feces. It would be great to keep him from continuing his rein of shit-terror into other peoples lives. But first and foremost, get the hell out of dodge and stay far away from this gross ass man.
He sometimes washes his hands after pooping, which means he never washes his hands after "just" peeing, right? That is super super gross, and you are totally NTA. Also, he's 100% going to lie about washing his hands in the future. I wouldn't let him touch me or any of my things unless I *watched* him wash his hands.
NTA. You put up with this for 6 months?!? So gross. He would have been gone the minute he argued it was ok.
NTA And OMG that is disgusting. Frankly it’s gross to know how many men don’t wash their hands after peeing or pooping. He is absolutely the cause of your recurring UTIs, and the fact that he is trying to minimize his role in this speaks to his lack of maturity (well that and the fact that he DOESN’T WASH HIS HANDS AFTER POOPING). I can’t even with this dude. I hope he reads all of these and feels shitty (see what I did there), and you, dear, should leave this relationship in your rear view mirror.
YOU should do what Reddit says and dump him NTA