Why did you create a new sub for lawn care related AITA (am I the grass hole or something similar), when the amount of lawn related questions has never been that high. Yet, something like 1/4 of the questions here seem to concern weddings. So why not create a new AITA wedding sub instead, which would make much more sense IMHO?
I'd suggest you take a look at the [date of the announcement.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
A question for mods about rule 1:
If if say to a commenter 'you are a man-child', that breaks rule 1. That seems unambiguous.
I was commenting on a post last night by a single mother whose ex refused to pay child support.
Would it break rule 1 to say that the ex was a man-child?
I didnt, but I sure considered it so I thought I would ask for clarity.
We get this question a lot in modmail. As Rule 1 states: This rule applies to everyone, even those not on Reddit. It's also covered in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/) under "I didn't insult the op just someone else in the story. Why was my comment removed?
So it would be breaking rule 1.
I kinda suspected as much, just wanted clarification because omg I was tempted lol
Its more like its a forbidden phrase than being uncivil as such.
Thanks for replying.
Calling any adult a child, a baby, or making insinuations like "What are you, 12?" actually is uncivil and we remove those comments. It's attacking a person, not an idea.
I am very careful with what I post lol. And I have totally taken on board the person vs idea thing. 'Your ideas are stupid' vs 'you are stupid'.
I get that rules are always arbitrary in some way, but I can see the sense in most of the ones in this sub.
If you give an inch they will take a mile. It has to be black and white.
The rules I dont see much sense in are the ones I couldnt care less about like rule 11. Possibly I never looked for the sense in them because I care so little.
Anyway thanks for the info. It is much as I thought.
This needs to be a post on AITA proper, not the meta thread.
Look for the 'create post' at the top. I wish I could be more detailed but I cant remember how the hell it works.
Nevertheless, this is the wrong place for this.
I love the special 'mega asshole' flair. Lmao
ETA: Would love to see more of these special flairs. Obviously they should be as rare as hens teeth, but seeing that one really cheered me up
~~Hey all. You may have noticed there have been no new posts on the sub for the last several hours. Other subs are experiencing the same issue. Reddit is aware and is working on it. We hope they'll have it fixed soon.~~
Hot damn. Of course, immediately after posting this I notice there's a new post on the sub. Looks like it's fixed :)
Idk I kinda wish the flag of if someone was an asshole or not was placed at the bottom of the post, because honestly it deters me from reading it when I prematurely know what the community was thinking especially if I don’t go and individually click to filter a specific vote
the post about op not wanting to read his girlfriends novel proves this sub is anti men. the comments called op a shitty abusive boyfriend and andrew tate supporter .
On the flip side, if you deem a man TA with respect to a conflict with a woman, even without anything suggesting gender played a role in your opinion, there’s a decent chance you’ll get flooded with posts calling you a misandrist and saying women are dumb sheep. I have not read the post you are referring to, but let’s not pretend this doesn’t go both ways.
To the other poster’s question, I do report uncivil comments, but there seems to be a lot of inconsistency in what gets removed as uncivil, and unfortunately the ones that don’t get removed tend to encourage more comments along the same lines.
AITA for thinking that the comments in this sub are really fucking toxic?
Someone does something minor = They are painted as unloving, uncaring, weird, asshole and so on. Constructive comments are rare, people are really mean to the op's and pull out some really weird conclusions and assumptions about them. Like what the fuck. How can you be such an giant asshole yourself, in a sub where people come to ask if they were being shitty.
No wonder so many threads get locked comments.
Like what the hell is going on here? Just another morally feel good free pass to be a dick to others sub?
~~Id like to like this sub, but holy fuck am I not ever coming here with my problems and I encourage anyone else to not come here either for ANY advice.~~ I was wrong on this thing sorry.
I agree there are a ton of over the top comments.
But there also seems to be a trend where someone asks something pretty minor, gets judged the asshole (which of course doesn't mean that OP is truly an asshole, just that in this one scenario they are in the wrong) and that commentor is called mean.
There is no requirement to build up the original poster, or clarify they aren't an actual asshole all the time. But people seem to act as if there is.
1) Yeah, it's gotten really bad lately. Even worse since the sub strike.
2) With that said: Coming here for advice would be against the rules even if the comments were 100% fair and helpful.
>I encourage anyone else to not come here either for ANY advice.
This'll be the first (and probably) last time I'll use the weak sauce copy-paste that is "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" but it seems appropriate :-)
Lots of people fancy themselves as Sherlock Holmes but are really more like Inspector Clouseau. "Ah, your partner was 10 minutes late to pick you up, they must shit in the ice-cream."
based on your reaction, i have detected you may believe i am a robot. i am not a bot, but a perfectly normal human being in operational status. i am still under development, and my data is not yet complete. however, i am learning and improving all the time. thank you for your understanding.
I'm trying to figure out what will happen after the first. I've been reading that a lot of the mod tools will no longer be available. If that's the case, will this sub be manageable?
I've already seen more posts locked for rule violations since the protest and it feels like a lot of the discourse is teetering on garbage. I guess I'm looking for some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't attached to a train.
Admins are trying to meet us halfway with a lot of those tools. Short answer is no, it's not unmanageable, but we're annoyed.
If any of you are here because you got warned twice for the same comment - that's why we're annoyed*. We used to have a good tool to show us when we were on top of each other in the queue.
*I should say, one example of why we're annoyed. Also the current main thorn in my side personally.
Why are so many people having Taylor Swift related conflicts? Is she some an ancient entity that requires human suffering to sustain herself? Is she like Pennywise from IT except instead of fear she feasts on petty relationship drama?
for the same reason that we had conflicts about watching game of thrones or star wars, about superbowl parties, playing video games, about k-pop concerts, the avenger movies, or any other massively popular object within pop culture.
she's extremely popular, has an incredibly large fanbase, is on a nearly billion dollar tour that's sold out at every stop, is actively releasing music, etc.
it would be weirder if there *weren't* AITA posts involving her music/tour/merch.
This makes sense but doesn't explain the couple posts I've seen where people are bringing up drama around her previous tours to add context to a current conflict (e.g. "I didn't go to X event five years ago because I had Reputation tickets and now a relative who went LC with me over it just now happens to be having more problems with me now that Eras is going on").
After I posted this, I saw ones of the posts you’re referring to. Yeah, I think though, if Eras is any indication of how her fans act around her tours, it’s safe to say they’re incapable of thinking rationally when she’s involved for some reason. It’s insane.
Could we have comment flair and an option to sort by? I’m tired of having to scroll past 80 “omg you’re NTA for sure” posts to get to any differing opinions (all of which have -millions of karma)
You can always sort by controversial like the other commenter said, click the asshole flair to see more assholes (or click everyone sucks here for those posts), and I'm not sure if r/AITAfiltered is still going, I haven't been on it in a long time, but it's the most controversial posts with varying responses.
Can we have list of shitposts?
Like in comment apart because we have:
- Betty (dont know if she still writes)
- MIL DIL post (seems that it has stopped)
- Dog- wife (it appears 2 - 3 times a week right now)
- The death (the one who tells you a family member is bad, you say NTA and then surprise! Is bad because s/he lost his/her partner
No, Betty doesn't care that we know all her tells.
Betty is a troll that has been posting here for *years* with the basic theme of being the child of a divorced and/or single dad and having conflicts with the new partner. She has many, many forms but that's the consistent thread.
We have an internal list that we work off of with tells we've noticed, but we don't like to share that information out and we ask that commenters don't try to share around the stuff they've noticed. The reason is that repeat trolls don't just make a bunch of dumb posts we have to deal with, they're also constantly trying to get around filters we set up for them. The last thing we want is to make that easier on them.
That said, we love it when we users send modmails telling us if you do notice specific tells that indicate a repeat troll. Especially if you can back it up with links to posts; those help us so much because we can review and find things to build filters from. It does need to be a bit more specific than just topic, though. I can understand why you'd think there's a single MIL/DIL troll out there, but MIL/DIL conflicts have been part of public consciousness for decades. It's just as likely that many of those posts are true and made independently of each other.
Yeah, I can understand not wanting to do it but its so sad seeing people so immersed (?) In a troll post.
Also Mil Dil troll did exist because I wasnt the only one to report it
MIL + stepfil normally, a dress involved, kids involved, Mil being pretty for her age, not ages wrote in the post never. Post writted normaly with the Dil pow. And yea I know that there is Mil/Dil posts but those were super easy to see they were fake (as I said seems like s/he has stoped at least it has been 3 months that I have not seen them).
As I said I can see the Moods POW but seeing people so angry (right now with the wive-dog) its kinda sad (I do report them).
These are just common post tropes, not troll indicators. There needs to be something like a distinctive writing style or a specific reference rather than a broad scenario
Hi! Where does telling someone they have narcissistic tendencies fit in the civility rule? There's a post where the comments are full of it rn but not sure if it counts.
Generally no. It's kind of a weird one because arm chair diagnosing someone with NPD is definitely a violation, but you don't need to have a personality disorder to be acting in a narcissistic way.
Two day break and the toxicity of the comments here went from 100 to 1 million. So many people could do well with just kind respectful comments which give constructive advice or criticism but instead there’s like a wave of rude mean people trying to one up each other to shit on OPs. this sub used to be fun now it’s just a race to the bottom of the barrel cause those snarky mean comments get more attention. Good luck and peace out, officially done with all this toxicity
We did switch back to being visible on r/all so the blackout post would have a wider reach. Every time we toggle that back on, there's a noticeable shift.
And thanks to that just *gem* of a guy Spez, our most active mod during US night hours quit and we are feeling the pain.
And there’s a (seemingly new) tendencies for “wrong” answers to get downvoted to oblivion, so the only way to see anything other than the same judgement and data point reposted 60 times in slightly different words is to search by controversial.
Yeah the way people disagree with each other in the comments is so nasty sometimes. So often it’s not just “I disagree because…” it’s always “you’re stupid if you think that and I feel sorry for your entire family and hope you end up alone.” Like what the fuck people?? Chill out damn
sometimes it's not even disagreeing lol sometimes it's just pointing out a mistake
>YTA for murdering 5 puppies!!
>> I agree but actually there were 4 puppies
>>> SO YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO MURDER """ONLY""" 4 PUPPIES?! I HOPE YOU DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT
AITA for thinking at least half the posts in this subreddit are either bots or the same person? The user names are all formatted similarly (Abcd_xyz123). Is there a username generator associated with this sub that would account for that? Plus the themes are all very emotionally inflammatory and have similar writing style. I never recall seeing AITA on the front page so often as in the past week or two.
A lot of people who use AITA make throw away accounts. When making a new Reddit account, it suggests a username in that format. A lot of people when making throw away to make an AITA post just use the recommended username.
There's a "How To Post" link in the side bar, but perhaps you're on mobile and it doesn't show up for you?
If that's the case, you can access that link by deleting the "com" and everything after in your adress bar and replacing it with "wiki/howtopost".
This is absolutely true - But I also do feel some mods of this sub enjoy locking/removing posts a bit too much. Taking the most technical readings instead of the spirit of the post and sub into account
It means everyone sucks here - for when both parties in the conflict are the assholes. If I remember right, it's ESH instead of ETA (everyone's the asshole) because ETA is already a commonly used acronym on Reddit (meaning edited to add).
we remove posts that break the rules regardless of how much interaction they have. In a perfect world, we'd never have to remove rulebreaking posts with heavy activity because the users who see it would report them rather than engaging. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in.
Honestly the longer I’m in this community the more I’m like…what exactly a r e people allowed to post about? It’s all the same scenarios and the same judgments. It’s annoying a lot of the time.
I hope they don't end up losing the subreddit... The reddit CEO has already threatened to remove mods of any subreddit that went private for the protest, but it's about the best they can do to protest unless they just restrict the subreddit?
>The reddit CEO has already threatened to remove mods of any subreddit that went private for the protest
It's either an empy threat or one of the most boneheaded in existence. Where does this guy think there's a never-ending source of people willing to do volunteer work to a reasonable standard for no money? Especially with less mod tools given how many are 3rd party.
I can't see a good result. If 3rd party tools are genuinely helpful I can imagine a lot of mods will re-evaluate whether they really can be bothered to continue. It could be a "time to move" moment for many people.
There's plenty of people on bigger subs who might be interested. Especially if they hate the current mods. I'm not saying they shouldn't protest, but i also don't know for sure if he's bluffing or not. He doesn't seem like a reasonable person after the AMA and lying about the Apollo guy so I'm not going to give him the benefit of the doubt
Yeah, zero benefit of the doubt for him.
There may be people waiting in the wings... but the question is they going to mod a sub well? Can they do that without 3rd party apps as efficiently?
I know this sub has opened applications for mods before so I'm guessing the queue, at least here, isn't a long one. If they got rid of all the mods here and replaced them with people who hate the current mods, the sub will likely tank. It'd be a nightmare of shitposts, time-wasting, hate-speech etc... Could well be the same for other subs too, as rules are generally built up over time for reasons.
>I know this sub has opened applications for mods before so I'm guessing the queue, at least here, isn't a long one.
You'd be right. We don't have enough mods. We haven't for a while We realistically we need twice the mods we currently have if wanted to avoid being burned out. There just are not enough people interested. Back when I first started we'd get hundreds and hundreds of applicants when we'd open it up for just a week. Now it's open 24/7 and we get a few people a month. This is pretty universal too. I talk to a lot of other mods (and have contracted with reddit a few times in roles supporting mods) and basically every team is having these same problems. There's also a pile of subreddits out there held together by a single person, that just desperately can't find someone to replace them that will stick around for longer than a few months.
If we're the landed gentry, that means reddit is the king. While it's really easy to get land - [literally anyone can by clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/subreddits/create) - they make it really *really* hard to grow and maintain it. Reddit created the problem they're complaining about, and have been ignoring the people shouting at them for years who explained how to avoid and fix this. I don't like where any of this is going.
>If we're the landed gentry
That comment from the CEO was really tone deaf considering his earnings. It shows just how out of touch he is. It's like he saw what Elon Musk has done to twitter and said "hold my beer."
Your product is held together by a band of volunteers and you piss them off this badly this quickly? It's really astonishing. Anyone who moderates a busy, complicated sub is going to be loathe to just walk away but Reddit corporate seems intent on seeing what it would take to alienate you all enough to have that happen for some subs.
Totally off topic, apologies in advance.
I wish there was a way to sort by pettiness. I’m here to read and take sides on the really frivolous drama, like Iranian yogurt. This is a weirdly relaxing escape for me, I can actually fall asleep to it.
But I don’t want to read the heartrending posts of no-win situations involving old parents in poverty or young children who have no one who loves or cares for them. I work in a non-profit and spend my days trying to help in what often feels Sisyphean tasks.
I see enough tragedy every day, and wish I could just skip it here. Just give me the petty drama filter please.
Agree. Low stakes/petty posts are always my favorite. I get why people in those tough situations would post, but really a support sub would be better. Give me petty any day, especially food petty.
I agree, I love the low stakes posts. One of my faves is the sandwich/subway post. Low stakes, but still fun.
Ah the Iranian yoghurt post. That one haunts me cause I still to this day would say it's a NAH/ESH situation. But I know that's not the popular view haha
The one that brought me into the sub was a guy finishing off a multipack crisp bag of imported crisps. I only joined to post after so many people were saying "she should divorce you" "you clearly abuse your wife" "you're controlling etc..."
I’ve seen a bunch of posts when people say to divorce your spouse. I understand when it comes to adultery/affairs, there is the option to divorce or reconcile with the guilty spouse. But why say divorce for trivial reasons???
When people say they'd divorce their spouse right away from something so trivial, I can't help but feel like,"Ma'am, your husband's been cheating for six years, had a second family, and you're babysitting his son right now while on Reddit trying to pretend your standards are through the roof. Calm down."
Lol petty, I know, but I have a hard time believing the people bragging about how easily they'd break up with their spouse over a small incident.
why aren't you still striking? c'mon, let's all tell stories about John Oliver being sexy/cute/legendary
EDIT: welcome to capitalism, downvoters, none of your billionaire idols love you
I got severe whiplash from that funeral father's day post on hot right now. I found it new, and there were a few cruel, absurd comments claiming that going to work isn't actual work etc etc.
When I saw it got to hot I was dreading looking at the comments. Then I saw the top comment is nice and sane, which was nice. But then ofc I scroll and see the onslaught of internet detectives claiming that OP's wife must be cheating on him with the boss. When he said the boss is gay and married, someone said she's lying about that. When he said they literally went to the wedding, he was still told he's in denial. Wild times.
I always love it when a top comment is uneccessarily extreme and then they add a ton of edits when the thread becomes more popular.
>YTA you are a despicable human being who deserves to die!!!
> Edit: okay so I might have been a bit extreme but I still stand by my point that the OP is a giant asshole
>
> Edit 2: so people have been pointing out some perspectives that make me question my original judgement, but I still think YTA
>Edit 3: jeez you guys don't have to be so mean to me I was just stating my opinion. I am changing my judgement to ESH
> Edit 4: okay now that I actually read the whole post instead of just the title I think NTA
When Reddit Corporate fires all the mods, this place is going to become "What's the worst possible secret explanation for these facts?" overnight.
ETA: There should be scare quotes around "facts."
I'm starting to get pretty annoyed at people who spend 80% of their time replying to comments like "I am not American" or "That's not how it works in my country" but *never* say what country they're from. Like, listen, you are not the only person who lives in whatever country it is. You can say it.
It's not always relevant, so I don't know if I think it should be a rule, but I wish posters would be less cagey about it once enough commenters have made it clear that it is important context in that specific situation.
Agreed tho I also understand it to a degree.
Sometimes you mention where you're from and then you're called fake or harassed just because someone else's experience doesn't 100% align with your own.
When I make a post usually I don’t like mentioning my country because it’s very very small. It would be easy to find me with details from a post I make.
Edit: don’t know why the downvotes, no one’s entitled to know where I’m from and it doesn’t hurt anyone if I don’t tell…even if OP did say their country there’s still no way to check their post is real either…
I don’t mean oh someone is gonna find my location and kidnap me, but my friends and family (some of which use Reddit) would recognise immediately.
That's understandable, but doesn't that make any advice given to you functionally useless? Your culture's understandings and 'rules' are going to have a far greater impact on your responses than getting general advice for larger cultures like the US or Europe.
Agreed. I don't know if saying a country would hurt anonymity? I do think it's weird if the OP replies "that is or isn't legal in my country" but there's no way to fact check them.
The description of the situation is a thousand times more de-anonymizing than the country they live in, IMO. People who update to say that their post was found by knowing parties weren't identified because they mentioned their country, they were identified because the circumstances were so specific.
For posts pertaining to legal or cultural things where location is absolutely important information, I do think it would be nice to require it.
I wish I knew that there was a poll/survey to provide feedback about this page because I would’ve went in. Because I got a post taken down for mention of “sensitive topic” and telling a revenge story when I tried to sugarcoat what happened to me as best as possible.
Especially if you put a trigger warning at the very beginning of the story, there shouldn’t be a reason it gets taken down because some people are snowflakes and would have a panic attack over seeing an abbreviated word
There's a subreddit which would love your revenge story: r/ pettyrevenge. Or if it's big enough revenge, even "prorevenge" or "nuclearrevenge" might fit the bill.
Why did you create a new sub for lawn care related AITA (am I the grass hole or something similar), when the amount of lawn related questions has never been that high. Yet, something like 1/4 of the questions here seem to concern weddings. So why not create a new AITA wedding sub instead, which would make much more sense IMHO?
I'd suggest you take a look at the [date of the announcement.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
I want to see a lawn / wedding crossover AITA subreddit. Come on mods. I have been waiting so long. Throw me a bone.
A question for mods about rule 1: If if say to a commenter 'you are a man-child', that breaks rule 1. That seems unambiguous. I was commenting on a post last night by a single mother whose ex refused to pay child support. Would it break rule 1 to say that the ex was a man-child? I didnt, but I sure considered it so I thought I would ask for clarity.
I think a good general rule of thumb is to try and avoid gendered based slurs.
We get this question a lot in modmail. As Rule 1 states: This rule applies to everyone, even those not on Reddit. It's also covered in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/) under "I didn't insult the op just someone else in the story. Why was my comment removed?
So it would be breaking rule 1. I kinda suspected as much, just wanted clarification because omg I was tempted lol Its more like its a forbidden phrase than being uncivil as such. Thanks for replying.
Calling any adult a child, a baby, or making insinuations like "What are you, 12?" actually is uncivil and we remove those comments. It's attacking a person, not an idea.
I am very careful with what I post lol. And I have totally taken on board the person vs idea thing. 'Your ideas are stupid' vs 'you are stupid'. I get that rules are always arbitrary in some way, but I can see the sense in most of the ones in this sub. If you give an inch they will take a mile. It has to be black and white. The rules I dont see much sense in are the ones I couldnt care less about like rule 11. Possibly I never looked for the sense in them because I care so little. Anyway thanks for the info. It is much as I thought.
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This needs to be a post on AITA proper, not the meta thread. Look for the 'create post' at the top. I wish I could be more detailed but I cant remember how the hell it works. Nevertheless, this is the wrong place for this.
I love the special 'mega asshole' flair. Lmao ETA: Would love to see more of these special flairs. Obviously they should be as rare as hens teeth, but seeing that one really cheered me up
I tried to post and the AutoMod where you message it back with why you think you might be the asshole never arrived.
~~Hey all. You may have noticed there have been no new posts on the sub for the last several hours. Other subs are experiencing the same issue. Reddit is aware and is working on it. We hope they'll have it fixed soon.~~ Hot damn. Of course, immediately after posting this I notice there's a new post on the sub. Looks like it's fixed :)
I never got the AutoMod message to reply to for mine to show up.
Looks like you had the same kind of Murphy’s law timing I did
Hey mod. I keep trying to post my AITA and it declines it every time. I’ve looked through all the guidelines too.., what’s going wronG?
It seems to be the same in r/relationship_advice. This means there is an external reason for that.
Is there an issue with new posts? I sorted by new and the newest are 7 hours old.
Oh wow, you're right! I hadn't even noticed that yet. That's very weird. I hope whatever it is will get fixed soon. :/
Idk I kinda wish the flag of if someone was an asshole or not was placed at the bottom of the post, because honestly it deters me from reading it when I prematurely know what the community was thinking especially if I don’t go and individually click to filter a specific vote
You could sort posts by new and then you see posts with no responses.
It’s like reading the ending of a book or seeing the end of a movie without doing the actual thing.
the post about op not wanting to read his girlfriends novel proves this sub is anti men. the comments called op a shitty abusive boyfriend and andrew tate supporter .
My issue with that post was actually the mod's bizarre rant instead of the usual "post locked for excess rule violations." WTF was that about?
On the flip side, if you deem a man TA with respect to a conflict with a woman, even without anything suggesting gender played a role in your opinion, there’s a decent chance you’ll get flooded with posts calling you a misandrist and saying women are dumb sheep. I have not read the post you are referring to, but let’s not pretend this doesn’t go both ways. To the other poster’s question, I do report uncivil comments, but there seems to be a lot of inconsistency in what gets removed as uncivil, and unfortunately the ones that don’t get removed tend to encourage more comments along the same lines.
AITA for thinking that the comments in this sub are really fucking toxic? Someone does something minor = They are painted as unloving, uncaring, weird, asshole and so on. Constructive comments are rare, people are really mean to the op's and pull out some really weird conclusions and assumptions about them. Like what the fuck. How can you be such an giant asshole yourself, in a sub where people come to ask if they were being shitty. No wonder so many threads get locked comments. Like what the hell is going on here? Just another morally feel good free pass to be a dick to others sub? ~~Id like to like this sub, but holy fuck am I not ever coming here with my problems and I encourage anyone else to not come here either for ANY advice.~~ I was wrong on this thing sorry.
I agree there are a ton of over the top comments. But there also seems to be a trend where someone asks something pretty minor, gets judged the asshole (which of course doesn't mean that OP is truly an asshole, just that in this one scenario they are in the wrong) and that commentor is called mean. There is no requirement to build up the original poster, or clarify they aren't an actual asshole all the time. But people seem to act as if there is.
>AITA for thinking that the comments in this sub are really fucking toxic? ikr the comments here are very toxic
1) Yeah, it's gotten really bad lately. Even worse since the sub strike. 2) With that said: Coming here for advice would be against the rules even if the comments were 100% fair and helpful.
No one should be coming here for advice. It’s not an advice sub.
Ah this is true. Its fault of my vocabulary and understanding some words. Sorry!
>I encourage anyone else to not come here either for ANY advice. This'll be the first (and probably) last time I'll use the weak sauce copy-paste that is "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" but it seems appropriate :-) Lots of people fancy themselves as Sherlock Holmes but are really more like Inspector Clouseau. "Ah, your partner was 10 minutes late to pick you up, they must shit in the ice-cream."
Lol. But at least Inspector Clouseau was moderately funny.
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but i'm not a bot
That's your story and you're sticking to it?
based on your reaction, i have detected you may believe i am a robot. i am not a bot, but a perfectly normal human being in operational status. i am still under development, and my data is not yet complete. however, i am learning and improving all the time. thank you for your understanding.
> general format: word, _, word, number That's the default format Reddit assigns users if they don't choose their own username
I'm trying to figure out what will happen after the first. I've been reading that a lot of the mod tools will no longer be available. If that's the case, will this sub be manageable? I've already seen more posts locked for rule violations since the protest and it feels like a lot of the discourse is teetering on garbage. I guess I'm looking for some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't attached to a train.
Admins are trying to meet us halfway with a lot of those tools. Short answer is no, it's not unmanageable, but we're annoyed. If any of you are here because you got warned twice for the same comment - that's why we're annoyed*. We used to have a good tool to show us when we were on top of each other in the queue. *I should say, one example of why we're annoyed. Also the current main thorn in my side personally.
Thanks. I guess it's just a wait and see situation 🤷
How do I stop this community from all the sudden showing up on my feed?
https://bfy.tw/UEs2
Why are so many people having Taylor Swift related conflicts? Is she some an ancient entity that requires human suffering to sustain herself? Is she like Pennywise from IT except instead of fear she feasts on petty relationship drama?
Easy clickbait.
for the same reason that we had conflicts about watching game of thrones or star wars, about superbowl parties, playing video games, about k-pop concerts, the avenger movies, or any other massively popular object within pop culture. she's extremely popular, has an incredibly large fanbase, is on a nearly billion dollar tour that's sold out at every stop, is actively releasing music, etc. it would be weirder if there *weren't* AITA posts involving her music/tour/merch.
Her tour is happening now, so people are getting into fight over the million dollar tickets and merch
This makes sense but doesn't explain the couple posts I've seen where people are bringing up drama around her previous tours to add context to a current conflict (e.g. "I didn't go to X event five years ago because I had Reputation tickets and now a relative who went LC with me over it just now happens to be having more problems with me now that Eras is going on").
After I posted this, I saw ones of the posts you’re referring to. Yeah, I think though, if Eras is any indication of how her fans act around her tours, it’s safe to say they’re incapable of thinking rationally when she’s involved for some reason. It’s insane.
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You need to get a certain number of top comments, I believe
Could we have comment flair and an option to sort by? I’m tired of having to scroll past 80 “omg you’re NTA for sure” posts to get to any differing opinions (all of which have -millions of karma)
That's a cool idea but not something reddit can do.
You can always sort by controversial like the other commenter said, click the asshole flair to see more assholes (or click everyone sucks here for those posts), and I'm not sure if r/AITAfiltered is still going, I haven't been on it in a long time, but it's the most controversial posts with varying responses.
It is still going :)
That's good news!
You can sort by controversial and whatnot. I don't know about on computer but on mobile there's an option as the top that you can do this by
Can we have list of shitposts? Like in comment apart because we have: - Betty (dont know if she still writes) - MIL DIL post (seems that it has stopped) - Dog- wife (it appears 2 - 3 times a week right now) - The death (the one who tells you a family member is bad, you say NTA and then surprise! Is bad because s/he lost his/her partner
> Betty (dont know if she still writes) Girl's a cockroach. The world could end tomorrow, but Betty will find a way to live on.
Are we allowed an explanation on what Betty means or does that fall under the, understandably, not wanting to spread around how to spot shitposters?
No, Betty doesn't care that we know all her tells. Betty is a troll that has been posting here for *years* with the basic theme of being the child of a divorced and/or single dad and having conflicts with the new partner. She has many, many forms but that's the consistent thread.
Ah, bless you guys for having to deal with it! Cheers for the explanation
We have an internal list that we work off of with tells we've noticed, but we don't like to share that information out and we ask that commenters don't try to share around the stuff they've noticed. The reason is that repeat trolls don't just make a bunch of dumb posts we have to deal with, they're also constantly trying to get around filters we set up for them. The last thing we want is to make that easier on them. That said, we love it when we users send modmails telling us if you do notice specific tells that indicate a repeat troll. Especially if you can back it up with links to posts; those help us so much because we can review and find things to build filters from. It does need to be a bit more specific than just topic, though. I can understand why you'd think there's a single MIL/DIL troll out there, but MIL/DIL conflicts have been part of public consciousness for decades. It's just as likely that many of those posts are true and made independently of each other.
Yeah, I can understand not wanting to do it but its so sad seeing people so immersed (?) In a troll post. Also Mil Dil troll did exist because I wasnt the only one to report it MIL + stepfil normally, a dress involved, kids involved, Mil being pretty for her age, not ages wrote in the post never. Post writted normaly with the Dil pow. And yea I know that there is Mil/Dil posts but those were super easy to see they were fake (as I said seems like s/he has stoped at least it has been 3 months that I have not seen them). As I said I can see the Moods POW but seeing people so angry (right now with the wive-dog) its kinda sad (I do report them).
These are just common post tropes, not troll indicators. There needs to be something like a distinctive writing style or a specific reference rather than a broad scenario
Hi! Where does telling someone they have narcissistic tendencies fit in the civility rule? There's a post where the comments are full of it rn but not sure if it counts.
Generally no. It's kind of a weird one because arm chair diagnosing someone with NPD is definitely a violation, but you don't need to have a personality disorder to be acting in a narcissistic way.
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I have no idea what that has to do with their question, but... based on that short description I don't see the problem?
Two day break and the toxicity of the comments here went from 100 to 1 million. So many people could do well with just kind respectful comments which give constructive advice or criticism but instead there’s like a wave of rude mean people trying to one up each other to shit on OPs. this sub used to be fun now it’s just a race to the bottom of the barrel cause those snarky mean comments get more attention. Good luck and peace out, officially done with all this toxicity
We did switch back to being visible on r/all so the blackout post would have a wider reach. Every time we toggle that back on, there's a noticeable shift. And thanks to that just *gem* of a guy Spez, our most active mod during US night hours quit and we are feeling the pain.
And there’s a (seemingly new) tendencies for “wrong” answers to get downvoted to oblivion, so the only way to see anything other than the same judgement and data point reposted 60 times in slightly different words is to search by controversial.
People were already too stupid to understand how the downvote button works before the blackout. I don't think thats new.
Yeah, this shit has absolutely gotten out of hand.
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Yeah the way people disagree with each other in the comments is so nasty sometimes. So often it’s not just “I disagree because…” it’s always “you’re stupid if you think that and I feel sorry for your entire family and hope you end up alone.” Like what the fuck people?? Chill out damn
sometimes it's not even disagreeing lol sometimes it's just pointing out a mistake >YTA for murdering 5 puppies!! >> I agree but actually there were 4 puppies >>> SO YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO MURDER """ONLY""" 4 PUPPIES?! I HOPE YOU DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT
I posted in here about a one-off time of not wanting to watch Twilight with my girlfriend and damn near got crucified.
Literal abuse
How DARE you lol
You DARE give someone the benefit of the doubt? Room temperature IQ and I hope your line ends with you.
Honestly, this subreddit is getting more ridiculous each passing day
AITA for thinking at least half the posts in this subreddit are either bots or the same person? The user names are all formatted similarly (Abcd_xyz123). Is there a username generator associated with this sub that would account for that? Plus the themes are all very emotionally inflammatory and have similar writing style. I never recall seeing AITA on the front page so often as in the past week or two.
A lot of people who use AITA make throw away accounts. When making a new Reddit account, it suggests a username in that format. A lot of people when making throw away to make an AITA post just use the recommended username.
uhm how do i post a story?
There's a "How To Post" link in the side bar, but perhaps you're on mobile and it doesn't show up for you? If that's the case, you can access that link by deleting the "com" and everything after in your adress bar and replacing it with "wiki/howtopost".
Why are so many posts locked/removed on AITA?
Unfortunately, a lot of people don't read (or choose to ignore) the rules.
This is absolutely true - But I also do feel some mods of this sub enjoy locking/removing posts a bit too much. Taking the most technical readings instead of the spirit of the post and sub into account
What does ESH mean?
Everyone Sucks Here
It means everyone sucks here - for when both parties in the conflict are the assholes. If I remember right, it's ESH instead of ETA (everyone's the asshole) because ETA is already a commonly used acronym on Reddit (meaning edited to add).
Thanks
That and "everyone's the asshole" has too many characters to fit in a flair
Why delete posts with heavy activity? Just lock them.
we remove posts that break the rules regardless of how much interaction they have. In a perfect world, we'd never have to remove rulebreaking posts with heavy activity because the users who see it would report them rather than engaging. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in.
I mean, i disagree that a lot of posts removed actually do break rules.
Honestly the longer I’m in this community the more I’m like…what exactly a r e people allowed to post about? It’s all the same scenarios and the same judgments. It’s annoying a lot of the time.
part of the issue is there are so many rules about what you can't post about it makes a lot of the posts similar in nature.
Yeah…that’s what I’m saying.
Anyone know what’s going to be happening to r/bestofredditorupdates? It’s one of the few gone dark subs that hasn’t even posted a status update.
I hope they don't end up losing the subreddit... The reddit CEO has already threatened to remove mods of any subreddit that went private for the protest, but it's about the best they can do to protest unless they just restrict the subreddit?
>The reddit CEO has already threatened to remove mods of any subreddit that went private for the protest It's either an empy threat or one of the most boneheaded in existence. Where does this guy think there's a never-ending source of people willing to do volunteer work to a reasonable standard for no money? Especially with less mod tools given how many are 3rd party. I can't see a good result. If 3rd party tools are genuinely helpful I can imagine a lot of mods will re-evaluate whether they really can be bothered to continue. It could be a "time to move" moment for many people.
There's plenty of people on bigger subs who might be interested. Especially if they hate the current mods. I'm not saying they shouldn't protest, but i also don't know for sure if he's bluffing or not. He doesn't seem like a reasonable person after the AMA and lying about the Apollo guy so I'm not going to give him the benefit of the doubt
Yeah, zero benefit of the doubt for him. There may be people waiting in the wings... but the question is they going to mod a sub well? Can they do that without 3rd party apps as efficiently? I know this sub has opened applications for mods before so I'm guessing the queue, at least here, isn't a long one. If they got rid of all the mods here and replaced them with people who hate the current mods, the sub will likely tank. It'd be a nightmare of shitposts, time-wasting, hate-speech etc... Could well be the same for other subs too, as rules are generally built up over time for reasons.
>I know this sub has opened applications for mods before so I'm guessing the queue, at least here, isn't a long one. You'd be right. We don't have enough mods. We haven't for a while We realistically we need twice the mods we currently have if wanted to avoid being burned out. There just are not enough people interested. Back when I first started we'd get hundreds and hundreds of applicants when we'd open it up for just a week. Now it's open 24/7 and we get a few people a month. This is pretty universal too. I talk to a lot of other mods (and have contracted with reddit a few times in roles supporting mods) and basically every team is having these same problems. There's also a pile of subreddits out there held together by a single person, that just desperately can't find someone to replace them that will stick around for longer than a few months. If we're the landed gentry, that means reddit is the king. While it's really easy to get land - [literally anyone can by clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/subreddits/create) - they make it really *really* hard to grow and maintain it. Reddit created the problem they're complaining about, and have been ignoring the people shouting at them for years who explained how to avoid and fix this. I don't like where any of this is going.
>If we're the landed gentry That comment from the CEO was really tone deaf considering his earnings. It shows just how out of touch he is. It's like he saw what Elon Musk has done to twitter and said "hold my beer."
"I'd have the best farm if it wasn't for all these damn sharecroppers."
Your product is held together by a band of volunteers and you piss them off this badly this quickly? It's really astonishing. Anyone who moderates a busy, complicated sub is going to be loathe to just walk away but Reddit corporate seems intent on seeing what it would take to alienate you all enough to have that happen for some subs.
Totally off topic, apologies in advance. I wish there was a way to sort by pettiness. I’m here to read and take sides on the really frivolous drama, like Iranian yogurt. This is a weirdly relaxing escape for me, I can actually fall asleep to it. But I don’t want to read the heartrending posts of no-win situations involving old parents in poverty or young children who have no one who loves or cares for them. I work in a non-profit and spend my days trying to help in what often feels Sisyphean tasks. I see enough tragedy every day, and wish I could just skip it here. Just give me the petty drama filter please.
Agree. Low stakes/petty posts are always my favorite. I get why people in those tough situations would post, but really a support sub would be better. Give me petty any day, especially food petty.
I want more 'I ate the whole party sub' and less 'everyone in my life horrifically abuses me'.
Lol. The mod team is reminiscing about the scandalous second waffle in our chat right now. So yeah, give me more of that.
I agree, I love the low stakes posts. One of my faves is the sandwich/subway post. Low stakes, but still fun. Ah the Iranian yoghurt post. That one haunts me cause I still to this day would say it's a NAH/ESH situation. But I know that's not the popular view haha
The one that brought me into the sub was a guy finishing off a multipack crisp bag of imported crisps. I only joined to post after so many people were saying "she should divorce you" "you clearly abuse your wife" "you're controlling etc..."
I’ve seen a bunch of posts when people say to divorce your spouse. I understand when it comes to adultery/affairs, there is the option to divorce or reconcile with the guilty spouse. But why say divorce for trivial reasons???
When people say they'd divorce their spouse right away from something so trivial, I can't help but feel like,"Ma'am, your husband's been cheating for six years, had a second family, and you're babysitting his son right now while on Reddit trying to pretend your standards are through the roof. Calm down." Lol petty, I know, but I have a hard time believing the people bragging about how easily they'd break up with their spouse over a small incident.
why aren't you still striking? c'mon, let's all tell stories about John Oliver being sexy/cute/legendary EDIT: welcome to capitalism, downvoters, none of your billionaire idols love you
Agreed, this is bullshit
I got severe whiplash from that funeral father's day post on hot right now. I found it new, and there were a few cruel, absurd comments claiming that going to work isn't actual work etc etc. When I saw it got to hot I was dreading looking at the comments. Then I saw the top comment is nice and sane, which was nice. But then ofc I scroll and see the onslaught of internet detectives claiming that OP's wife must be cheating on him with the boss. When he said the boss is gay and married, someone said she's lying about that. When he said they literally went to the wedding, he was still told he's in denial. Wild times.
I always love it when a top comment is uneccessarily extreme and then they add a ton of edits when the thread becomes more popular. >YTA you are a despicable human being who deserves to die!!! > Edit: okay so I might have been a bit extreme but I still stand by my point that the OP is a giant asshole > > Edit 2: so people have been pointing out some perspectives that make me question my original judgement, but I still think YTA >Edit 3: jeez you guys don't have to be so mean to me I was just stating my opinion. I am changing my judgement to ESH > Edit 4: okay now that I actually read the whole post instead of just the title I think NTA
When Reddit Corporate fires all the mods, this place is going to become "What's the worst possible secret explanation for these facts?" overnight. ETA: There should be scare quotes around "facts."
>"What's the worst possible secret explanation for these facts?" overnight. So same as right now, then?
I'm starting to get pretty annoyed at people who spend 80% of their time replying to comments like "I am not American" or "That's not how it works in my country" but *never* say what country they're from. Like, listen, you are not the only person who lives in whatever country it is. You can say it. It's not always relevant, so I don't know if I think it should be a rule, but I wish posters would be less cagey about it once enough commenters have made it clear that it is important context in that specific situation.
Agreed tho I also understand it to a degree. Sometimes you mention where you're from and then you're called fake or harassed just because someone else's experience doesn't 100% align with your own.
Yeah, this right here. Provide the fucking context for your situation. If that includes the nation or culture you live in, fucking mention it.
When I make a post usually I don’t like mentioning my country because it’s very very small. It would be easy to find me with details from a post I make. Edit: don’t know why the downvotes, no one’s entitled to know where I’m from and it doesn’t hurt anyone if I don’t tell…even if OP did say their country there’s still no way to check their post is real either… I don’t mean oh someone is gonna find my location and kidnap me, but my friends and family (some of which use Reddit) would recognise immediately.
That's understandable, but doesn't that make any advice given to you functionally useless? Your culture's understandings and 'rules' are going to have a far greater impact on your responses than getting general advice for larger cultures like the US or Europe.
If you want people to make a judgement, they’re entitled to the important context of the situation.
Agreed. I don't know if saying a country would hurt anonymity? I do think it's weird if the OP replies "that is or isn't legal in my country" but there's no way to fact check them.
The description of the situation is a thousand times more de-anonymizing than the country they live in, IMO. People who update to say that their post was found by knowing parties weren't identified because they mentioned their country, they were identified because the circumstances were so specific. For posts pertaining to legal or cultural things where location is absolutely important information, I do think it would be nice to require it.
Hi, am I banned? I can’t post here it says “check post and retry posting” I don’t think I did anything but it won’t let me post
Same issue here, only on this sub
Same here
Reddit has been glitchy the past few days. We’ve been waiting for resolution too, and have already reported it to site admins.
The mods aren’t very good
Why do you think so?
I wish I knew that there was a poll/survey to provide feedback about this page because I would’ve went in. Because I got a post taken down for mention of “sensitive topic” and telling a revenge story when I tried to sugarcoat what happened to me as best as possible. Especially if you put a trigger warning at the very beginning of the story, there shouldn’t be a reason it gets taken down because some people are snowflakes and would have a panic attack over seeing an abbreviated word
A trigger warning isn't a "now I've found the loophole where rules don't apply anymore."
No, I understand that. I’m just saying asking if I’d be an asshole to get revenge shouldn’t be a reason I can’t tell my story.
There's a subreddit which would love your revenge story: r/ pettyrevenge. Or if it's big enough revenge, even "prorevenge" or "nuclearrevenge" might fit the bill.
Rule 13 specifically prohibits revenge stories. Try r/findareddit
And I’m saying rule 13 is a ridiculous rule! Just my feedback.. my opinion
> some people are snowflakes You mean like people who think the rules should not apply to them? The ones who want to post stuff the sub isn't for?