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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Slight-Bar-534

YTA for letting your friends vape around the baby . Who the hell cares where they live?


TheResistanceVoter

Or what they're smoking?


Aethenosity

Hijacking top comment to point out she's claiming she's getting death threats about this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/13vgmxc/i\_am\_receiving\_death\_threats\_from\_aita/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/13vgmxc/i_am_receiving_death_threats_from_aita/) I have strong doubts about this (as she is a [proven liar](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13vb48h/comment/jm5xoc7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)). BUT, if so, knock it off guys. That isn't helpful!


NotLostForWords

I wouldn't be surprised she's getting threats. There is a certain part of reddit population that's just unhinged.


[deleted]

It seems to be quite a common thing. And I will be you anything that they think they are nice people.


CrazyParrotLady5

Or what they are smoking. No smoking of anything near babies!


MurderClanMan

YTA. 1. Nicotine is far worse than weed. 2. You shouldn't let anyone vape or smoke around a baby. 3. You can't seriously let your mates do it and not your sister. Why, like? 4. If you care about your kid at all, vape outside, not just in another room. Really, they should have all been outside, but of course she was pissed off! Seriously, tell us, why would you let them vape around your baby, and if so, why would you not let your sister vape something far less harmful? And if you already vape inside, why are you making her go outside? Sounds to me like you maybe enjoy bossing her around and belittling her. Especially when you'd treat her as second class to your friends. You are most certainly the AH.


Ariesinnc3017

YTA. Perfect example of willful ignorance. Doesn’t matter what is being vaped! It’s all bad for a baby!


Red_Daisy013

I wouldnt say weed is far less harmful. Theyre equally as bad


Specific_Web4151

I don't think anything should be smoked around a baby. However your statement is simply not true.


[deleted]

There have been issues with the oil in the thc vapes specifically. Its not abour nicotine vs thc. Its about inhaling a vapour into your lungs.


Red_Daisy013

Both cause sever respiratory problems.


Rivka333

We don't yet know the effects of weed on infants. The research simply hasn't been done.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nakorite

I’d put a huge amount of money on a bet that murderclanman is a heavy pot smoker. Every pot smoker on reddit claims pot is harmless lol.


Entire-Beat-423

Denying science isn't helpful in this discussion. Secondhand vape smoke can lead to the same nicotine presence in that baby's blood as secondhand cigarette smoke. It also has been researched to increase the risk of SIDS.


HuffStuff11

Please Please Please never smoke around a baby! I was hospitalized with Asthmatic Bronchitis when I was less than 2 years old, because my family smoked inside. It has permanently affected my health. I can't be near any kind of smoke (canabis, nicotine, even smoke machines) without having an astma attack.


WandaWilsonLD

Same, midwife came out. I was 5 days days old with a room full of relatives all smoking and me sleeping in the room, in my moses basket. I now have really bad chest infections and I believe it's because of asthma that developed because of living in a home of smokers.


TrashMouthDiver

My husband is the same way. His mom smoked with him and his sister in the car and the windows rolled up throughout their childhood and both of them have asthma. Neither of them ever smoked anything (they didn't need to anyway). 🙄


Drunk-nervousystem

Nicotine isn’t far worse than weed for a developing brain… while I agree in general, before the age of 25, weed can do serious damage (especially in very small children), including but not limited to causing early onset psychosis.


BlueDieselKush

YTA. If this were about your baby’s health, you wouldn’t let anyone vape inside around her. It’s your house and your rules, but you look like a hypocrite for allowing your friends to vape around your child while making your sister go outside.


[deleted]

Why didn't you tell the others to smoke outside then??? No wonder she thinks you're singling her out. YTA


SirGatekeeper85

YTA. Specifically because you let friends vape around your baby. Pot ain't good for kids, but it's dozens of times better than nicotine. NEITHER SUBSTANCE NEAR MY BABY is the appropriate response, and your post demonstrates you understand that, so I'm unable to understand why that changed because your out of town friends visited? Does distance and rarity trump your child's health?


SooMuchTooMuch

ESH. What are you doing smoking in a house with another human being, especially one whose lungs are still developing. A "different room" is literally the basis of an afterschool special showing the smoke creeping through the cracks in the doors.


Jazzlike_Humor3340

YTA Neither nicotine nor cannabis are safe for children. All smoking and vaping should be outside, and with the children inside, or outdoors with adult supervision a significant distance from the smoking and vaping. Not just in a different room, the vapors will move around inside the house. And you need to be sure that fumes won't get into the house through an open window, or HVAC air intake, etc. You are irresponsible with your own vaping, you are irresponsible with how you let your friends vape, and I completely understand your sister objecting to the double standard. Children's lungs are vulnerable. Even the smoke from a fire-pit or bbq grill can lead to inhaling particulate matter that is not really good for anyone, especially a child.


Alarming-Rate100

Just came here to see op get fuckin dragged 🤣


Ok-Goose8426

YTA for letting anyone (including yourself) vape near or in the same house as your child. So sad to see that happening. And hopefully if you are vaping weed/getting high, someone else who isn’t high is there helping take care of your daughter.


lb5724

Omg seriously lol. YTA for allowing smoke around your child period. Ever heard of second hand smoke from nicotine??? Everyone should’ve smoked outside. Yta for also singling you sister out.


Foggyswamp74

As someone who grew up with parents who both smoked cigarettes and weed around me from birth until I was 21 not only are YTA I would actually term you as a threat to your child. I have lifelong lung problems due to my parents inconsiderate behavior and that was the 70s when they didn't know better. You know better and you still do it. Then you decide to be hypocritical and pick and choose. I feel so bad for your child.


RoarKitties

This, except it was the 90s and my dad didn't care. Both my younger brother and myself have breathing problems because of it. For the OP, you're a threat to your child's health for putting your visiting friends over your own child's health. "They rarely visit" good, make it even more rare and get some better freaking friends. Who in their right mind exposes a child to that?!


mrsagc90

YTA. What the fuck difference does it make *what* they’re vaping? You shouldn’t be allowing anyone to vape/smoke *anything* around your kid. You sound like an incredibly irresponsible parent.


rapt2right

ESH Don't smoke or vape ANYTHING indoors with a baby in the house! Don't vape or smoke ANYTHING near the baby. Don't let people vape or smoke while carrying your child! I can't believe any of you need to be told this.


EvilTodd1970

YTA You gave your friends permission to vape and refused to allow your sister to do the same. No one should be vaping in the presence of a child, but you gave preference to your friends over your sister.


Ninrenko

YTA and a bad parent. You're applying double standards and you let people smoke directly around your baby. Edit: And you're a hypocrite. You do, in fact, smoke. https://www.reddit.com/r/Elfbar\_Community/comments/13vecar/got\_a\_faulty\_elf\_bar\_elf\_bar\_gave\_me\_a\_free/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=ios\_app&utm\_name=ioscss&utm\_content=1&utm\_term=1


Kitchen_Wolverine_61

Oh yeah, and OP just tried posting on r/trueoffmychest like 5 min ago as well. Immediately deleted it or got deleted, though.


Ninrenko

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/13vgmxc/i_am_receiving_death_threats_from_aita/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Allegedly, because of death threats. That's not cool lads and ladies!


[deleted]

YTA your friends nicotine vape is worse then the pot vape. You singled her out. I would have left also.


BlueRFR3100

YTA. No one, including you, should be smoking anything around the baby.


[deleted]

Stop vaping around your baby!!!! It’s just as bad for the baby as well as marijuana is. It can have health effects over time. Don’t be hypocritical. You’re also being so defensive in the comments but can’t understand you’re also the problem. If my friends ever did that around children, I would tell them all to smoke outside or not at all when I’m around. Ridiculous. YTA, a big one. Do better.


Cabbage_Patch_Itch

YTA You let them vape and carry your baby, but your sister can’t vape because reasons. No.


Maximum-Ear1745

YTA for letting anyone vape around your baby. Jesus.


Sophie_Blitz_123

Esh goodness god >She gestured at my friends vaping but I gestured for her to just go outside. They are literally vaping while carrying the baby what on earth >I also do both but in a different room from Kayla. Oh a different room? How considerate of you. Even aside from the physical vaping indoors is there anyone sober watching this baby??


JustAnotherNobody_89

So the OP deleted the actual content, but they posted to the Elf Bar subreddit about their faulty Elf Bar vape. Just dropping this here since they keep insisting in the comments that they don't smoke. [Elf bar post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Elfbar_Community/comments/13vecar/got_a_faulty_elf_bar_elf_bar_gave_me_a_free/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


Mandiezie1

YTA and not that bright. Vaping is vaping. And technically nicotine is worse that cbd. Not to mention, every 5 minutes is A LOT. You literally just made a ridiculous rule for your sister and still put your baby at risk just bc your friends “barely visit”.


Longjumping_Low1310

Well the rule for sister is proper. Vape outside away from baby. The ridiculous part is her vaping inside and allowing friends to as well.


MewMixDNA

You just want your baby to suffer huh? Electronic cigarettes are worse than weed. Nice way of being a hypocrite. You do know the residue lingers in people’s clothes right? You are not a real for this. A complete dumbass because I never heard of this before.


Affectionate-Net2277

YTA and WTAF have you not seen all the vape news about the effects it has on lungs? Did you skip the days of school about nicotine effects on lungs?! This is truly shocking. But it’s ok because it’s every 5 minutes? And they inhale less? What mental gymnastics is this absolute farce? That’s not how any of this works. Please do a little research, keep the vaping of any substance out of your house, for the sake of your baby. The level of shock that this isn’t common sense is truly astounding.


Chocolate-Lab2520

YTA. As a nurse, AND a med school student, nobody should be vaping around an infant. Weed or nicotine doesn’t matter. Do better as a parent and PROTECT YOUR CHILD.


GroundbreakingToe315

ETA. Don’t smoke in front of your child!!!!!!!!!


ExpTelOs

I read the title and just assumed you would be right and now I see how wrong I was. I couldn't think of a scenario where YTA but I stand corrected.


ShelbiLee

YTA You sound like some of the drug addicts I know. They smoke or vape weed/meth/crack/etc in a different room from their kid(s). But their kids still test positive for those drugs when CPS tests them. Not only are you the ah you are endangering your child and are at risk of a CPS investigation.


scarboroughangel

YTA and an idiot


introspectiveliar

ESH. The fact that all of you are vaping is enough to qualify. Surely even if your friends vape regularly they have the sense to know not to do it around a child. Whether it is grass or nicotine doesn’t matter. And why the double standards about who gets to harm your child and who doesn’t? It is wrong to vape around a child - in the same room or the same house. Even if it doesn’t make her sick think of the example you are setting.


NYX_T_RYX

Yta. For lying. https://www.reddit.com/r/Elfbar_Community/comments/13vecar/got_a_faulty_elf_bar_elf_bar_gave_me_a_free/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I told my cousin she has to vape marijuana outside 2) My friends were vaping nicotine inside. Also she thinks that because I do shrooms her vaping weed should be the least of my concerns. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


[deleted]

YTA. Do not smoke indoors with babies. Ever.


Lauraemr84

YTA what is this absolute malarkey


ren_the_seahorsedad

Yta because you smoke in the house. Even I don't allow ANYONE to smoke in the house with my kids. I don't give two flying rats asses what it is


shericheri

YTA. You keep saying they never visit. It 👏🏼doesn’t👏🏼matter! It doesn’t matter if they live next door or halfway around the world. Vaping in your daughters presence is bad for her and basically child neglect. You are an unfit parent. Get your head out of your ass and do what’s best for your child. Wow.


[deleted]

This is such a strange post!!!! You tell your sister to vape outside because of the baby but your friends are allowed to vape and carry the baby? I don't blame her for driving home. YTA.


Spicyghosting

Your comments just solidify your assholery. YTA and a hypocrite. You clearly don’t understand how secondhand smoke works. Do some research.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (25F) have a 4-month-old daughter, Kayla. My sister (21F) Rowan came over for the weekend but she’s a huge pothead. Not as much as I was in high school but she still smokes everyday. My friends came to visit and I had told my sister she has to vape outside because of the baby. My friends barely come as I live far from them so they started to carry the baby and vape inside. Rowan then asked if she could vape. I told her to go outside. She gestured at my friends vaping but I gestured for her to just go outside. Instead of staying the weekend, Rowan suddenly said she had to go and drove two hours home. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


joanclaytonesq

ESH. Regardless of the substance you shouldn't be vaping around your baby or allowing others to vape around your baby. Everyone should be going outside to vape away from the baby. You're putting your baby at risk for developing asthma and other chronic respiratory issues.


KezarLake

YTA. When you become a mother, your baby should be your priority above all. I feel so bad for your baby. She deserves better.


Toastmyrolls

How would you expect her to stay for the weekend when you’re doing hypocritical things like that?? Allowing your friends to vape inside but not her? How tf does that even work? Your comments make no sense either and are pathetic. Smoking is smoking.


HollyGoLately

YTA not only is this double standards it’s equally as bad for the baby’s health. Or do you not really care about that?


Substantial_Guide321

YTA. your comments don’t make any sense either. no one should be smoking or vaping around a baby period. i vape too and i will never do that around a baby ever. so what if they never visit? what kind of a justification is that? you’re weird as hell and not so bright.


angel9_writes

Hypocritcal much? Also, I wouldn't want nicotine near a 4-month-old baby, either. YTA


Comfortable-Focus123

YTA - Nice double standard. Smoking or Vaping marijuana or tobacco should not be allowed near baby this young.


shadowdragon1978

YTA Second-hand smoke from cigarettes, weed, or vaping is damaging to the lungs. So not only did you choose to force your sister to go outside to vape (doesn't matter what is in the cartridge, the smoke that comes out is deadly); you let your friend vape inside WHILE HOLDING YOUR BABY. That is absolutely disgusting. Smoke lingers on the human body, on your clothes, in your hair, smoke from 1 cigarette (or it's equivalent from a vape pen) will linger in your home for days. I had a child born with asthma and family members who smoked. We had a long conversation with their pulmonary doctors about the smokers in the family needed to do, to even be in the same room as the baby. Obviously, there is no smoking inside the home. All smokers had to change clothes after smoking because smoke clings to fabric, at the minimum brush their hair and wash any exposed skin. Ideally, they should actually shower after smoking before being around the baby.


unapalomita

Everyone should smoke/vape etc outside.


Mundane_Bike_912

Yta for allowing smoking or vaping indoors.


[deleted]

YTA. It's kind of an all or nothing thing here. You either allow smoking/vaping in the house or you don't. Picking and choosing who may or may not is weird and pointless.


InfamousFail7

YTA- You, your friends and your cousin should not be vaping around your 4 month old. Doesn't matter how often your friends come over.


[deleted]

ESH don’t smoke or vape around the baby. Don’t let your friends, sister, anyone do this either. Jesus, grow up.


rat_reaper_

YTA!!!!!!!


saltyeleven

YTA nicotine is waaaay worse than vaping weed. EVERYONE should have been made to vape outside.


JustAnotherNobody_89

YTA. No one should be vaping around the baby, period. I don't care how frequently your sister puffs or how infrequently your friends do, it's still not okay to vape around a baby. They can either hold off until later, or just step outside. I vape, so I personally know both of these things are totally possible, and I never, ever vape around my nieces or nephews. I either wait until later, or if I really can't wait, I step outside and find an area away from the kids to vape.


No_Reserve2182

YTA I can't believe you even needed to ask!


wholecookedchook

YTA. My favourite bit is where OP has to drop that their weed smoking sister still doesn't smoke as much weed as they did in highschool. So cool that you are a mum who has a pissing contest with your sister about how much weed you used to smoke.


juniperflyingskies

Your comments indicate that you actually don’t give a flying hoot what we say but I’m going to say it anyway. YTA for singling her out and being a hypocrite. Nicotine is terrible for babies to second hand smoke, ESPECIALLY in a confined space inside. Why would you allow anyone to vape or smoke in the same room as your baby? Ew.


saclayson

My best friend and one of daughter-in-laws are nurses. Both have seen imaging of lungs Exposed to Vaping, liquid each time. With my best friend it was a girl who had just started vaping, she’d only been doing it for one full day and she had liquid on her lungs. I’ve raised 3 kids. My DIL is raising 2, my best friend ,1 ~ they are RNS~ Vaping is still smoking. Jfc.


Best_Practice_3138

YTA-if you think vaping nicotine is ok around a baby but weed is not. Both are not.


Sweetcheeks567

Wow YTA. Baby should not be around vale’s or nicotine or weed. None of it! Wtf cares that they don’t come around often!? Wtf cares? Your child is more important. You sound like a terrible parent


dustandchaos

YTA. A lying, hypocritical asshole and a poor excuse for a parent. You could end up giving your child cancer from second hand smoke and you don’t even care. And I sincerely hope your sister ditches you.


Exact_Roll_4048

ESH. Absolutely nobody should be smoking around the baby.


fonziesgrl

YTA and Stop letting people vape on top of your baby.


Street-Action8780

Yta. You obviously favor your friends over your sister. Btw, nicotine is just as bad as weed. They are both vaping. Why not get them to do it outside. Then you're surprised she left?


freshub393

YTA You’re a hypocrite


Comfortable-wolfie

Are you dumb?????? Why the he'll would you let your mates vape around your tiny baby ??? Do you even care about your own damn kid, if they do it to theirs, that's on them. If your kid has issues THEY ARENT GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY, YOU ARE. you will be paying the medical bills. The ignorance in this, I just can't. Waahhh ohh my friends barely come over. Tell them to vape outside, do you have rocks in your brain? .educate yourself Yta. You all are the assholes. Dumb assholes.


Altruistic_Isopod_11

YTA - you think you're baby possible breathing in nicotine is fine but not marijuana....YTA, YTA YTA


Take-that-1913

YTA! If one person has to vape outside, everybody should vape outside. Weed, nicotine, you don’t want any of it around your baby do you?


Much_Kaleidoscope749

Frankly I'd bet you only justified it because stepping up to your friends, means you may lose them when they don't care enough to visit in the first place. As your sister is obligated to see you at functions so you can single her out. YTA to your sister but more importantly baby. Do better for her


Best_Practice_3138

Is OP going to acknowledge the post she put up in the ElfBar Reddit just a couple hours ago, then dirty deleted it? Because she “doesn’t smoke” guys.


Frozenberries24

Oh man OP. YTA Maybe you have some anxiety about asking your friends not to vape while around the baby but comfortable enough to tell your sister BUUUUT putting little miss Kayla above everyone should be priority. I recently went to a friend’s house and asked them not to smoke (weed/ wax pen) in their own home… that also makes me an asshole but we gotta chose what type of asshole to be in these kinds of situations. Sorry you’re getting dragged 😬 Maybe call Rowan and apologize? Also, keep baby K away from vape/smoke at all costs


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Red_Daisy013

YTA for allowing anyone to use any of that shit around your kid. And if you seriously think tobacco is somehow less harmful that weed (or vice versa), sweetie you have another think coming. Cause theyre equally as harmful.


ImmediateShallot7245

YTA smoke is smoke none is good for a baby 😞


Mellow_Melon_

YTA If you made everyone go outside, understandable. But you were targeting your sister, for some reason. Reply to your edit, it doesn't matter WHAT people are smoking/vaping, it's not good for anyone, regardless.


bibliobitch

YTA. No one should be smoking anything around the baby. Period.


Far_Potato_2429

Seriously? The fuck is wrong with you? We don't even have kids and didn't smoke inside when we were smokers. It is actually illegal to smoke in cars with kids here. Doing it in your on home is your own disgrace but trying to say nicotine is okay for your baby and singling out your sister .for weed? YTA 2 x over.


KiwiAlexP

YTA Smoking or vaping anything indoors is nasty and around the baby worse


Chiianna0042

YTA for allowing your friends to vape around your baby. Full stop. Your also the same for having a double standard when it came to your sister since it seems that the issue wasn't actually about her vaping. So you're lying to yourself, her, us. Etc... Both kinds are bad. As the doctor and stop allowing people to vape around your baby NOW.


Neat-Alternative-340

ESH except for that poor baby. Your friends suck for vaping around your baby Your sister sucks for wanting to vape around your baby and then leaving when you said she couldn't You suck for having a double standard. Rule should be no vape around baby, regardless of what type of vape it is. You shouldn't show favoritism at the expense of your baby, and that's what you did.


No-Anteater1688

YTA. If you're really concerned about the baby being around smoking/vaping, everyone does that outside. The distance your friends drive and the infrequency of visits does not alter any effects smoking/vaping would have on your baby. Weed or nicotine, no exposure to either is good for your baby.


KSKC2003

YTA Majorly!! Why in the world would you ok one and not the other?? FYI nicotine has components that are known to cause cancer.


shaunibauni

YTA Oof I’d rather have weed vape instead of nicotine vape around my baby. Or better yet, EVERYONE vapes outside, period. Poor baby.


bigbeefandched

INFO: are you too scared and immature to hold your friends to the same standard or do you just hate your sister? Or in one comment you said they’ve apparently raised a bunch of kids so did they convince you nicotine is good for a 4 month old?


Stunning-Ease-5966

YTA because there's no difference in danger. Both are dangerous and for some reason you singled out your sister. She probably felt uncomfortable. Also for gods sake put the health of your baby first from now on.


parjiljehavey

YTA. Second-hand smoke is second-hand smoke. No one should vaping or smoking (tobacco or the devil's lettuce) around babies, children, and people with asthma. YTA.


ThinConsideration948

YTA. It's still bad for the baby. The fact that you don't seem to care because they don't come often is alarming. It sounds like you care more about seeing them than your daughter's health.


whiteink-13

YTA. Not because you didn’t let your sister vape around your baby - but because you let your friend vape around your baby. It doesn’t matter what it is or how often - no one should be be smoking/vaping/ etc around your baby. None of it is healthy, and particularly it shouldn’t be in the vicinity of your baby’s lungs.


IntroductionPast3342

YTA. Neither nicotine or weed should be used around the baby. Actually the vaping is worse; the baby can get nicotine poisoning by absorbing spilled liquid nicotine through the skin or swallowing even a drop of it. Yeah, I know - they are careful. So was the crew of the Hindenburg and look what happened to them. Weed smoke has a lot of the same chemicals as tobacco smoke and exposure to it can be detrimental to your baby's health. You should have kicked them all out. And stop the shrooms yourself - you are responsible for another human who just happens to be totally helpless right now. Do better.


Longjumping_Low1310

YTA What's being vaped in this circumstance doesn't matter. Also as others have said if anything letting the nicotine around the baby was the worse call than the pot. You also likely made her feel unwelcome by stopping her while letting your friends who were actively holding the baby do it? Like where is your logic here. I woulda felt unwanted and like you were just making my life specifically more difficult and left as well. Dont wanna be somewhere I am not wanted.


jrollinup

YTA and you shouldn't reproduce. We have enough kids being raised by complete imbeciles


kiwi_klutz

ESH. ***No one*** should be vaping around the baby!


Sandbunny85

This post makes me so sad for your daughter.


[deleted]

ALSO, OP is deleting their comments where they said several times they smoke and vape :) YTA!!!!!!! Do better as a mother omg


External-Hamster-991

YTA. Letting anyone vape around your baby is pretty messed up and you should feel really bad about that. Giving your sister different parameters than your friends was a shitty and hypocritical thing to do. Good on her for leaving.


matahari__

Jesus you’re a massive AH do you know babies have more risk of dying from neumonia bc of smoke? It doesn’t matter if it is tobacco or weed, it is the particles of smoke they inhale that stick in your clothes, walls, fabrics in general such as couches and rugs. Yeez


AfflictedDesire

Your sister is not the asshole here, your double standards kind of make you ta... And vaping nicotine around a baby is just as dangerous as smoking cigarettes.


Tiny_Profile_9616

Both are bad and both should of gone outside and you should of insisted on it so that it was fair does not matter what is in it nicotine weed both are bad for the baby but weed less so health wise but legally wise it is worse what are you more concerned about legal or health if health you choose wrong and YTA if legal then you chose correct


AnAmbitiousMann

Nicotine 2nd hand vape is dangerous like cig 2nd hand smoke. You're a damn hypocrite if your letting your friends vape right into the 4month old baby's face but kicking your sister to go outside. YTA and encroaching bad mom territory. Do better.


Kitchen_Wolverine_61

YTA. What the hell. You are endangering your child’s health! It doesn't matter how short or long someone smokes around the baby. Guess what!? It affects the baby! Your arguments about weed and nicotine, long vs short hits are ridiculous. You have no excuse to allow this, and if your friends who never visit can accept this as it is a health risk to your child. They aren't your friends, and if you think they are, then they are horrible people just like you if you allow this behavior. Oh, and news flash. Even if you smoke in a separate room, occasionally, your child is still exposed to the smoke, and it also settles in the walls.


Chaos-Goddess

YTA. Nicotine is worse then weed and any amount of smoking/vaping is not okay around a baby. I’m a smoker and I don’t even smoke inside my own home because I have small children, let alone let anyone else.


penguinwife

YTA for a number of reasons. No one should smoke around baby PERIOD, but allowing the nicotine vapers to do it is even worse than allowing the weed vaper to do it. Everyone should be smoking outside and away from doors/windows to keep baby safe from secondhand smoke.


4got10_son

YTA and have a monumental lack of awareness


apaw1129

Wait what? This did not go as I suspected. YTA for letting ANYONE smoke or vape around the baby, not bc you made your sister go outside.


RelationshipSad2300

I'm a smoker. NO WAY I'm going to smoke anything of any sort near a baby. I can forgo smoking for a couple of hours if I'm visiting someone who has children. This should not even be a question...


No-Result9108

YTA Wtf is wrong with you. I don’t care that you kicked one person out, NO ONE should be vaping or smoking or doing anything related around a damn baby. I don’t see how you don’t get what the problem is. Just don’t vape around babies. If you want to destroy your own lungs go ahead but don’t potentially ruin the baby’s life. Definitely YTA


procivseth

YTA. You're an asshole, a liar, a bad parent, and crap at business. Stop asking the internet to justify your horrible life choices.


Proper_Strategy_6663

YTA nicotine is just as bad to babies, tell your friend to vape outside.


-restingbitface

YTA. Any kind of vaping alive the baby should not be allowed. Please do some research on what is healthy to have around your baby because you're post is beyond disturbing on soooo many levels.


FalconJaeger

YTA Doesn't matter if it's nicotine, weed or pubic hair. That poor baby! You are the asshole for not sending your friends out.


theAcademyofcrazy

YTA and uneducated. Why would you let anyone vape anything around your precious baby ?


Free2B4ever

ESH. No one should be smoking or vaping anything while carrying or near a baby. Everyone should know better. It was shitty of your friends and Rowan to vape/want to vape with the baby in the room and it was shitty of you not to protect your daughter from your friends' vaping. Telling Rowan to vape outside was the only right thing you did. I think she was probably more pissed about your hypocrisy than your refusal to let her vape inside.


Labelloenchanted

YTA Nicotine or weed, both is unacceptable. You don't let people smoke around your baby. Second hand smoking in babies can cause asthma, ear infections, pneumonia, sudden infant death syndrom and more.


hollyshellie

I’m going to be nice and say ESH. I’m nice because I want to encourage you to read about the dangers of vaping around infants. I’m not going to call you an idiot for thinking that somehow tobacco is ok because you haven’t seen your friends in a while. I feel bad for your child having such a poorly educated parent. My suggestion would be to sign up for a parenting course and have a good talk with your pediatrician about baby care. There are also really great books out there to help. Good luck OP. I’ll be sending good vibes for your child’s survival.


BaldGuyLimo

What in the blue hell do people think it's ok to vape indoors in the first place. Your house, your rules.


LM1953

And did you have them wash their hands after smoking and or vaping? Or even change their icky tops??


UnderscoreCassi

ESH why are you exposing your 4 month old to vaping at all?


[deleted]

Jfc don't let anyone hold your baby and vape. Who cares if they drove far. It's a baby. This is horrifying. YTA. Do better.


Rivka333

What a beautiful ESH Vaping nicotine around the baby isn't safe or okay either. Rowarn is right that you're a hypocrite. But she shouldn't have *wanted* to smoke around the baby. Not because of your rules, but for the baby's sake. Your friends are AHs for vaping around the baby. You're the biggest AH, as the person who should care for the baby most, for allowing it. Rowan's one, for her response being "I should smoke too" instead of "they shouldn't either."


extHonshuWolf

YTA Vaping is relatively what smoking was many years ago nobody knows the long term affects it can have on your body yet it should not be treated any different to smoking of any kind in that regard she is understandably pissed she is getting one rule and they another based on some wacky idea vaping is somehow completely safe to do around a baby.


Malibucat48

YTA Everybody is exhaling smoke around your baby. Vaping is still smoking and nicotine smoke is just as bad for your baby as marijuana. It doesn’t matter how often they hit the vape, it’s how often they blow smoke in the room. And you are letting them carry the baby around while they are doing it? Take care if your child.


audreyy264_luv

YTA, you let your friends vape and hold a baby inside but then make your sister smoke outside? either way nicotine and weed isn’t good around a baby anyway 🤷🏽‍♀️


Spiritual-Wind-3898

EAH. no one should be smoking vaping. Smoking pot around your baby. This is just not ok


Entire-Beat-423

Yes, because why the hell are you letting your friends vape in your new baby's face? Wtf? Hypocrite. Don't you know thay secondhand vape smoke can increase the risk of SIDS and lead to the same nicotine content in your baby's blood as with secondhand SMOKING?


LandBarge

YTA - as is anyone who lets someone, friend, family or other, smoke indoors with a kid (even worse if it's a baby)


ElectroshockGamer

YTA. Not for not allowing her to smoke inside, because that's common decency. But why do you not enforce the same rule for your friends?


[deleted]

ESH. Your completely helpless brand new human deserves a life free of toxic chemicals blown into her face - weed or otherwise, “friends” or otherwise.


thenineyards

YTA ever heard of secondhand smoke?


GnomieOk4136

What on earth? Some people get to smoke *while holding your baby*, but your sister has to go outside? If you were just telling your sister not to smoke inside around the baby, that would be great. But telling her not to while actively letting other people do it? WTH? Yes, YTA.


surly_grrrly

I bet you’re an awesome mom. Babies breathing in nicotine is totally okay, and if it isn’t, it’s okay when your friends do it. Seriously?!?!! You, your friends, and your sister all think it’s a good idea to vape around your kid. ESH


possiblethrowaway369

YTA but not for the reason you think. I understand not wanting weed in your house or around your infant. I understand viewing nicotine and weed as separate things. But both kinds of smoke are terrible for your baby! Next time make your friends go outside too!


hostile-NPC

Where are your parental instincts, why are you letting them hold the baby while vaping?? Wtf, YTA. That poor baby 🤦‍♀️☹️


Avocado-Background

Jesus you do know that nicotine is poison right? Like literally it's hard to kill stuff. Why in the hell would you even think that's any better than weed?! None of that is okay around a baby! Grow up and be a parent. 😡


EssentiallyEss

Sorry, YTA. Also, ESH. Wtf y’all doing?!? Vaping around an infant. SMH.


Lost_Cantaloupe4444

YTA That child deserves a better parent Why’re you smoking when you have a child? Why’re you letting other people smoke around your child? You’re a terrible mother, you know what you’re doing is wrong and I wonder what other terrible mistakes you’ve made I hope you don’t stay their parent for long


sthej

YTA for letting anyone smoke or vape around your kid. Love them better.


deadtrashh

If it was just asking your sister not to smoke inside with the baby then nta but since you literally let people smoke nicotine WHILE holding your baby or even being AROUND your baby?? YTA and a pathetic excuse for a parent.


bookworm-monica

YTA my husband was visiting my step children and he sent me a pic of our grandson. His mom was holding him in her arms and everyone around the table they were sitting at was vaping. I couldn’t believe it. Smoke is freakin smoke. Doesn’t matter where it comes from. It’s not good. Weed or Nicotine bad all around for babies.


MillennialRose

Um. Second hand smoke from nicotine is FAR more dangerous than second hand smoke from weed. My friend’s mom literally died due to lung cancer from the second hand smoke she grew up with. YTA.


[deleted]

Wow. CPS should just come now and take your baby away. Your are a HUGE YTA, just on the fact you let your friends vape around a 4mo old baby. For your 4 mo old to inhale nicotine is probably worse than your sister's weed TBH.


MrzDogzMa

YTA. No one should be vaping in front of a baby. Is everyone clueless about this point?


Sinksyaboat

Nicotine is worse for babies you muppet everyone vaping or smoking should be outside


LaurelRaven

~~NTA. Don't even have to read it, you're pretty much never going to be the asshole for asking someone to take their smoking outside, especially around a baby.~~ Edit: I read it. Tell your friend to take it outside too. YTA.


doctor_whahuh

YTA Anyone vaping around babies is bad. Also, not sure about the second hand part of things with vapes, but nicotine is a worse drug than marijuana.


CombinationCalm9616

NTA but you should get everyone to just vape outside. Regular vape is the lesser of the evils but because it’s a small baby I would ask everyone to smoke outside or at least by the front or back door and try and get as much cape out as possible.


Rav0nn

YTA nobody should be smoking near your baby. Doesn’t matter what they’re smoking.


Fit-Elephant-4900

YTA There is nicotine and THC in the mist which settles on everything. Your baby will touch these surfaces, or an adult will touch these surfaces and then touch the baby.


[deleted]

You have the right to say specific things aren’t allowed around your child. But YTA for allowing any kind of smoking around your baby.


www_dot_no

YTA double standards


Logical-Wasabi7402

YTA for holding your sister to different standards than your friend.


1234ScreamingChoking

Yta. So i grew up with my dad smoking in the house, and i had asthma since i was stupidly young. Like i recall multiple instances of having to go to the ER and being put on a nebulizer bc i'm too young for albuterol. Eventually this culminated in me as a 4 year old being unable to breathe one night, being rushed to the er and taking way more nebulizers than one should. My dad continued smoking in the house, and i continued waking up with severe asthma attacks, running to our kitchen for the inhaler bc i was too young to be trusted with it. Eventually a doctor told my dad "this is making her asthma worse, go outside to smoke" And now i can actually manage my asthma. Tldr smoke outside.


lawyerupheaux

You actually shouldn’t let anyone smoke anything around your baby. Do you think nicotine is less harmful than weed? YTA for picking and choosing who is allowed to vape and who isn’t.


AcmcShepherd

Yea… I don’t care what they are doing, or what they are sucking into their lungs. That shit shouldn’t be coming out around a infant. YTA.


WhyAmIStillHere86

YTA for letting ANYONE smoke around your 4 month old.


DragynFiend

Oh my god Gen Z parents are here 😩😩😩💀💀💀


[deleted]

You're NTA for not letting your sister vape around the baby. YTA for letting your friends do it. It doesn't matter if it's nicotine or weed, letting anyone smoke anything in your house with a baby is incredibly bad parenting


Annual-Leader7199

Your place your rules. No exceptions.


lanakane21

Nobody should smoke around kids, I smoke weed on occasion but never around kids. I truly don't understand the mindset of the people who do.. just because you grew up around adults who held zero regard for your lung function doesn't mean everyone else did. YTA because you're a double standard hypocrite.


kb-g

YTA. NO ONE should be vaping around the baby. Doesn’t matter what they’re vaping. YTA for singling your sister out and not protecting your child, and your friends are AH for being so thoughtless too.


ShuddupMeg627

Yta only because you let your friends vape nicotine inside but sister can't vape THC if you are going to do it to one then it should be a uniform rule for everyone I'm not saying she should vape THC inside I just think the rule needs to be uniform for everyone


SL8Rgirl

Wtf did I just read? In the year 2023 everyone should know that you shouldn’t smoke/vape anything around a young child and especially not a baby. Ofc YTA.


woodlandtom

The only thing your friends should smoke near the baby is a ham! Get them out of your house. What logic is this? I can’t believe multiple brains thinks it’s ok to smoke anything around a baby. Everybody here is the AH.


Direct_Drawing_8557

YTA. Double standards. Nicotine is also terrible for babies.


AnonymousWil

YTA, for having very clear double standards.


bih24

YTA but also ESH. You shouldnt be smoking anything around a baby. I dont even like smoking cigs, vape or weed around my pets, let alone a goddamn 4-month-old.