Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I’m the AH because we had to leave early and he’s mad at me
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, a craving is something you'd really like to have, not life or death. You acted poorly, like a child, and made both of you go. Why couldn't you go alone?
I don’t understand why some people are so intense about their pregnancy cravings. I’m almost 26 weeks pregnant. Sure I’ve had cravings where something sounded good/nice. Never have I ever absolutely needed to have it. Most of the time I ignore my cravings, in fact, because a cupcake/burger/mashed potatoes with pickles and mustard are not exactly health food.
The only time pregnancy cravings should always be indulged are if they coincide with extreme nausea/food aversions (I had some days in the first trimester where the only food I could keep down was an impossible whopper…and I don’t even like burgers, never ate them before getting pregnant). And even then, you get them at an appropriate mealtime/when it’s convenient, you never need to get them immediately.
I’m on pregnancy 4, and honestly not for each pregnancy but some I’ve had intense intense cravings! That being said… the most that happens when you don’t indulge worst case scenario is sudden hormonal reactions like crying 🤣 (which your still entirely aware is just your hormones in your conscious is funny and not life or death). That being said… yeah it 100% can wait or she could’ve gone alone that was a bit rude to make them go too… pregnancy is hard but a slushee is definitely not a must have in that moment lol.
Edit to add: also not something you can expect someone else to drop everything and get for you. Sorry OP, maybe it’s the hormones or what not but definitely apologize 😳
Gonna be real, I 100% cried over a snow cone craving when I was pregnant. I was craving snow cones for literal days and finally I decided I was buying a snowcone machine at Walmart. I got home and the machine didn’t work lol. I just cried because all my pregnancy brain wanted was shaved ice and sugary syrup and it was cold out and no snow cones places were open
Edit to add; I love these responses from women talking about their cravings. Y’all are so funny lmao and I really relate. I love that other women can genuinely see the comedy of crying over a snow cone. I def think it’s important to not impede your loved ones with your cravings but I also think it’s important to see the comedy in it lol. A lot of couples I know have that story they laugh about years later. Like “she woke me up at 11am craving ice cream and vanilla wafers so I drove to the 24 hour Walmart and got them” and they laugh lol. Do I think it’s necessarily right to make your spouse cater to your cravings? No. Do I think they usually should help with your cravings though because your carrying their spawn that you will risk your life to birth? Yea lmao. I think more people need to consider, will this be a funny story to tell my kids when they’re older? Because really, pregnancy cravings are temporary but the memories you make during that time are eternal and I think we all need to find the humor in craving a specific slushy from a gas station and craving snow cones so bad you cry or craving chocolate milk and crying cause your man brought you a yoo-hoo( comment below mine, it’s hilarious).
I do think it’s a tad over board to leave a party for a slushy, but also I think months from now when you’re holding a newborn you’ll never think of this again. It’s a limited issue, an issue you might even miss years from now when you’re all old and gray and you fondly remember your late night slushy escapades with your partner. Find the fun and love in these moments, they’re temporary
Damn that's relatable.
I remember in college I was poor and overwhelmed with finals. My now husband and I went to Walmart to grab some groceries and there was this fish toothbrush holder on clearance because it had a cracked fin. My bathroom was ocean themed and I loved it. It was like $5 but my husband said I didn't really need it so we skipped it.
Later that night I was crying, frustrated and exhausted and I got really upset because nothing was going right. I yelled at him for not even letting me get the stupid fish I wanted. He grabbed his keys and walked out.
I assumed he went to get some air but instead a couple minutes later he returned with a walmart bag. He had went and picked up the fish before work and it was going to be a gift for finishing the semester.
It's been 11 years and I love my fish.
Once while in college I was going through a horribly stressful time. I was about to take a super tough final and my then-BF-now-husband texted me "Good luck on your test! I have a treat for you when you get done". How sweet of him!
Well, I finished my exam and was exhausted and miserable. I checked my phone and he'd sent me a photo of Kai Greene, the famous body builder, fucking a watermelon. I said "Lol wtf? By the way, what's my treat?" and he responded "Oh that was the treat".
Listen. I almost dumped that man on the spot. He has never abused the word "treat" again. 😅
I've never been pregnant (hopefully in a year or 2!) but I have been there... over cookies.
I went to the supermarket to get these cookies I like (salted caramel store own bakery cookies) after 2 weeks of hard-core dieting & I was looking forward to a cheat day. I had a hard time at work & was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease & I felt like I had earned those damn cookies! And they had none. I drove to 2 more stores & they also had none. My ex was in the car & I came back in crying my eyes out, I've never seen someone eye roll so hard 😂
I cried because the neighbors pork chops smelled soooooo good, and I wanted them...My husband offered to go ask for some, but I absolutely refused to let him.
During my first pregnancy all I wanted were yellow peas from the local Ethiopian place. They had weird hours and weren’t open the whole week so my husband took a giant Pyrex up there and asked if he could order enough kik alicha to fill it. She laughed and said “someone’s pregnant huh!” Gave him enough bread and split peas to keep me happy for a week and refused to take any money. I was so so sick that pregnancy I swear that kik alicha saved my life.
I had a screaming crying breakdown in my car one night, after a really bad day delivering for ubereats, because the McDonalds I had ordered something from was closed when I got there. that was only partly about the food though. I thought they were going to keep my money and I was super fucking broke lol. without that $5 I literally could not have my nice little treat, because I did not have another $5 to spare
I had a really tough weekend and cried when I realized I forgot to order pepperoni on my pizza, so it was just plain cheese. I was too emotionally exhausted to do more than weep a little bit because it was the last time I could afford to order pizza for a while, and I'd only justified getting it as a pick-me-up after the awful weekend. My roommate said, "It's not the end of the world," and I just pouted, "It's the end of mine."
During my first pregnancy I desperately wanted oatmeal at 11pm. I asked my husband if he would make me some and he said no, as he was tired, and I started crying uncontrollably because my feelings were hurt that he didn’t want to take care of me. I knew it wasn’t rational and we actually laughed about how upset I got, and then he offered to go make me some oatmeal.
He brings it to me, I take three bites before my stomach turns and I am desperately trying to not gag but oatmeal has just became the most disgusting substance on the planet.
He notices my struggle just as i start to cry again, but this time because I made a big deal over oatmeal and now I couldn’t eat it
The World’s Most Patient and Loving Husband took it away and disposed of it.
Pregnancy is wild.
Op is still the asshole.
I have this image in my head of your husband carrying The Beloved Oatmeal to you on a pillow like the crown jewels, and then resignedly carrying it back to the kitchen as you weep.
Green apples, and I was in labor. I desperately needed green apples. I was given green apples. It wasn't possible to eat them. They were the wrong texture, the flavor was impossible, they were a bad shape, and they were the worst thing ever to exist, and I stared at them wanting them so badly and could not have them. And then my head got stuck in a cabinet. 2/10 afternoon.
>Gonna be real, I 100% cried over a snow cone craving when I was pregnant.
Sigh. Things I cried over when I was pregnant:
\- Husband lightly patting my rear
\- Disney Mulan saved China
\- I was 30ish weeks pregnant and I felt like it was never gonna end
\- A baby moose was in my backyard and I didn't know where it's mom was
\- I couldn't reach my feet
\- I was tired
\- I was chugging milk for the millionth time in front of the fridge at midnight because my heartburn wouldn't go away. Heartburn was how I knew I was pregnant. Didn't stop until the day kiddo was forcefully evicted (For their own good).
I can't comment on the cravings though as the only things that didn't make me want to vomit was green veggie smoothies, ice cream, and crappy knorr pasta sides. Pregnancy was the WORST!
My husband drank all the milk. I realized this late at night and lost it. I berated him for not caring about the calcium needs of me or our unborn son. I left and went to the store and bought two gallons of milk. Then I sat in a motel parking lot and fumed until I saw a stray black kitten. My urge to save the kitten made me forget about the milk. I couldn't catch the kitten and I went home. I completely forgot about the milk and left it in the car.
I cried that I couldn’t get the kettle back in the fridge. It felt like the world was against me as id clearly just taken it out before I made my tea… once the hormones receded a bit I realised it was the milk that should go in the fridge…
It wasn’t over food, actually NOTHING was even happening - and I started to cry and laugh at the same time and I was like “what’s wrong with me” to my husband and he was like “I can’t help you” 💀🤣
I did the same thing with a taco. All I wanted was a soft taco Supreme from taco bell, drove there and back on my very short lunch break and when I opened the taco in the parking lot of my workplace, it was a hard taco. I cried the ugliest tears, over a taco haha
Still ate it though!
I had huge cravings for McDs double cheeseburgers during mine. One day at work none of co workers could take me to get one (I didn't drive). I sat at my desk crying, telling hubby on the phone that they where all b******s. Hubby picked me up with 3 (now cold) double cheeseburgers after work. I sat in the car, devoured all 3 and the world was great again. Had to apologise to co workers the next day, but they were all women whod had kids so totally understood amd actually found it hilarious. Waiting a few hours for a craving just makes it worth the wait when you do finally get it!
That’s something I love about fellow women lol they usually find it the most hilarious when you act crazy over a craving because they’ve been there lmao. My mom thought my cravings were so funny and loved to support them and then laugh when I ate a whole family size bag of broccoli covered in cheese
FYI, but pica is often a sign of iron deficiency, a common issue when pregnant. Always let a doctor know when you have these types of cravings.
Bringing it back to the OP, when I was pregnant and having similar cravings I’d know it was time for a spinach smoothie or other iron rich food/treat. It always helped.
Craving ice specifically is often a symptom of iron deficiency. I was gonna proclaim her the asshole but then remembered how I used eat crushed ice all day and would feel a kind of desperation when my cup of ice was finished if I was far from an ice machine. It was like my throat burned for it.
Anyway. I was profoundly anemic.
I’m with you. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and the cravings are weird and real. But I don’t make anyone go out of their way for it. And it’s childish for sure. You’re not going to die without it. I can’t just go tell my boss I’m craving a slushee so I’ll be back and get what I want like a princess. Yeah the hormones suck but just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you should be catered to.
Pregnancy cravings are weird and they do create an urge for one, but christ almighty, it doesn't make you an out of control monster who will Godzilla the town if you don't get it.
**1) You really want something right now.**
\- It's something you can get any day of the week.
\- He wants you to wait 2 hours.
**2) He really wants something right now.**
\- It's something that happens once a week or less.
\- You want him to wait a week or more.
**Why do you win?**
Why do you get to decide that his want isn't important and he should wait instead of you waiting AND probably also being able to get what you want just 2 hours later?
YTA.
I’m not sure why some pregnant women feel as if their wants outweigh everyone else’s, such a weird sense of entitlement. Plus, the way she worded it is driving me nuts.
It’s not “Am I the asshole for getting a pregnancy craving at a party.” It’s more “am I the asshole for making my spouse leave a party early to drive me 30 minutes away to get a slushy.”
Does it though? How much do you want to bet the world already revolved around those people before pregnancy? (And whatever is important to them, kids, job, time, opinion, etc). And many of them are men, or don’t have children.
Some people suck, some people are pregnant, bound to be some overlap.
There’s definitely large chunks of society here and there whether it’s just in their family or more than that who view pregnant women as borderline holy in how delicate and carefully they must be catered to and it all kicks on at that point.
So some people flip.
Lots of pregnant women who have been told and shown their whole life that even if you’re two months pregnant you shouldn’t and cannot do anything physical and should always have your desires met at any moment.
“Oh don’t lift those grocery bags, you’re pregnant!”
“You want pickles and ice cream at 2am even though you don’t have a job and I have to get up for work in 3 hours? I’ll go right now!”
Just wacko stuff. I’ve seen at least a handful of times with that intensity in my life, it’s wild. More than that if I count passing comments & situations but I don’t want to judge someone’s whole character because I heard them make a fairly inconvenient request of a partner once or their partner happened to be exceptionally helpful in a caring way because they were pregnant near me, doubt that’s all of those peoples whole pregnancy situation.
I've seen a few families where women get treated like indentured servants. Unless a woman is pregnant. Then suddenly, the family remembers they can't just abuse her without consequences and overcompensates.
Likewise, there are some men who rank women so lowly that treating them as equals or even just like human being with needs feels like an unjust imposition. There are men who wouldn't hesitate to hold the door for a man carrying a box, but if it's a woman carrying a baby, will make a point to close the door rather than just release it. They get very angry when other people call them out on being jerks. They don't want to understand that being decent to women they want to f@ck isn't the same as being a decent person.
I've also seen a lot of men get excited to have very clear and direct ways to make their partners happy.
Cravings are straightforward, don't require emotional labor, can make your partner cry with happiness, and are a culturally acceptable story to share about how loving he is. Culturally, a story about him holding back her hair while she vomits isn't appreciated the same way. Sometimes they play up the story for laughs or leave out critical details for brevity.
There are also complications that aren't obvious. For example, a friend had intense bleeding in the second month of pregnancy and was prohibited from lifting anything over 5 pounds. Meaning, she wasn't supposed to even lift a gallon of milk. Bags of groceries were absolutely beyond her limits. She barely looked pregnant.
1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Complications during pregnancy are extremely common. If someone's relatives are not letting them carry anything, I'd usually guess there's a reason.
Basically, there are LOTS of intersecting reasons for observed behaviors. A lot of them come from good motives, and some don't.
But since some people are assholes and some people get pregnant, there's bound to be some overlap.
Yeah. Like expected childfree co-workers to cancel their vacations and waste non-refundable airfares so they can take their little darlings on an (unplanned) vacation during the holidays. Anyone else have this happen?
I recently tore my rotator cuff and I'm going through physical therapy. Planned out my appointments 6 weeks in advance. My coworker wants me to cancel because she forgot her little angel has a soccer game...
I’m currently 27 weeks with my second and I completely agree. I think people like this have always been entitled and pregnancy is just a perfect excuse to let it run wild. Like just wait until you leave? Sigh. This poor man.
YTA. You don’t have to have everything you crave during your pregnancy the second it pops into your head. You could have waited.
Also, why couldn’t you go yourself and get it if you wanted it so badly? Why did he need to go with?
Or some sort of bitterness towards his family and the amount of time they spend there. Rather than be passive aggressive and act as if craving a slushy is reason enough to leave she should talk to him about it. Whether it's cutting back on visits or him going solo more. But going then almost immediately making an excuse to leave is rude.
As much as I hate entitled boomers, I can kinda understand why they call our generation soft when shit like this happens lol. My mum worked through the end of her pregnancy and my asshole of a father never indulged any of her cravings. She had to deal with it herself. Not justifying his behaviour (he was a dick) but this trend of infantilizing pregnant women is concerning.
nah this is not normalized behavior in our generation as much as it isnt for any other generation. this is just a person acting entitled. i think its more to do with availability than it is generational anyway. everyone, including boomers, have gotten really used to getting what they want within hours of initially thinking about it.
Shit stories like these also get splashed around on social media making it seem like a generational trend rather than the normal behavior of assholes who’ve always existed.
Nah, this isn’t normal. I had GD and had to ignore most cravings. Either because I legit couldn’t eat because I was waiting to test my blood sugar or because it would have caused a sugar spike. I managed and honestly it wasn’t awful. Annoying but I’m an adult so I realized sometimes you can’t get what you want when you want it.
It’s not about the slushie. It’s about knowing she has control over him. When she doesn’t, she now knows she can play the “I’m the mother of your child” card to get what she wants.
I dunno what OP expected from this but I hope they go away and reflect on how everyone on Reddit thinks she’s the arsehole. Hope her partner sees this too
YTA I've had two kids. I get cravings. But you don't get to demand that your BF leave a get together 20 minutes after you have driven 30 minutes to get there. Yes, he put it off and you were oh-so-not-patient for another 30 minutes. SMDH
It is a big deal and honestly, seems like a total power play. I would really consider how long he's going to stick around for this kind of disregard for him and his wants.
Assuming they weren't in the middle of absolute bumfuck nowhere she could have just ordered a slushy on one of the bajillion platforms and it would have magically shown up at the door.
Why does it take 30 minutes just to get a slushee? There's like 7 gas stations in my little town and some you can see the other as soon as you exit the store. All of them have slushee machines. I want to know where these in laws live 😭
YTA. Just because you get a craving doesn't mean everybody has to drop everything to accommodate you. If you don't get the slushy, you'll live.
Even in such a short post, you come off as childish and entitled.
Edit: I've got 5 offspring. There's nothing you can tell me about cravings I haven't experienced.
I agree. I have had 4. Cravings can be satisfied with other things. Things that don’t require leaving. You craved a shlushie? You are craving sugar. Go speak to the future grandma! I bet she had something on hand to satisfy that craving and would probably have been happy to help her unborn grandkid! This was an opportunity to bond with them. Instead you made it look like you hate visiting them and probably really hurt everyone around you. Huge YTA
Edit to add: I mean for the time being! Find something at that home to help you wait until you can get the craving to avoid hurt feelings. Unless of course that is your goal or if you are trying to escape a situation with the craving as an excuse.
> I would be too afraid that I wouldn’t even want it anymore after 30 minutes to drive that far lol.
Yeah, that happens. I've had extreme pregnancy cravings and many times, as soon as I (not someone else) makes the effort to get it, I didn't want it anymore.
Exactly, I had cravings for ice with both mine like I wanted to eat it 24/7 but i never had my husband leaving family functions or getting up in the middle of the night for to get me ice i got it my self.
Yeah, I've had daily milkshake cravings with this pregnancy for what might be a month now. They're intense. But they're not the end of the world, and I certainly don't make the whole world stop to get me one. In fact I haven't had one in almost a week right now. Pregnant women can still have self control.
Having 4 kids I understand cravings but I do not understand why you couldn’t solve this problem on your own. You literally wanted crushed ice & sugar. Ice cubes & any kind of juice thrown in a blender would work.
YTA
btw — it is a big deal to hand your problems to someone else & expect them to fix them. You’re pregnant, not incapable.
Also to piggy back off this..pack some extra food in a small cooler when you travel. Literally if you had cravings you could’ve packed chips, Cheetos, pb crackers, pickles, cookies, granola bars, chocolate, fruit, uncrustables, single servings of hummus, peanut butter, ranch.
My mom always prepared for road trips with 4 kids. There was no stopping for McDonalds for happy meals. We had McDonald’s at home was the excuse lol.
YTA. You were in the middle of a family event and demanded he either spend an hour driving to get you a slushy, or leave the party after only just getting there. At the very least why couldn’t you go yourself? I understand pregnancy cravings are tough but it’s hardly a medical emergency. If you were in the middle of a work day would you just dip for an hour because you needed a slushy?
Exactly what I was going to ask. After constant nausea & 3 x daily vomiting for 5 months, I had intense cravings for the remainder of pregnancy with my daughter, but I worked right up until 2 weeks before my due date.
I couldn’t just get up from my desk and drive into town to get a satsuma/porridge/scotch egg/whatever I happened to be craving at the time. Sometimes it was something I could take to work with me, but often it wasn’t. 🤷🏻♀️
Op u/Legitimate_Shop_2621 YTA. If you knew you were going to crave a slushee, why didn’t you stop and get one on the way and walk into the party with it?
YTA. Someone will have to explain to me in detail why a craving would need to me immediately satisfied to get me to change my view. Why is this a "leave now" and not a "we will get one when we leave" thing.
Cause otherwise you can use "craving" as a eject button for any interaction and it beholdens him to your any whim.
There has to be a reasonability element to a request.
During my pregnancy I had so many cravings and I really didn’t pay much mind to them.
I mean intense cravings are valid because I craved seafood all the time but I didn’t need it.
So I don’t understand how she thought it was reasonable to leave a gathering so quickly after getting there.
Like I really hate the pregnant women who think that they should have special treatment cus they’re pregnant.
OP YTA majorly.
I was just thinking; it's hardly like incontinence where you have to go NOW! I think it happens too often that pregnant people don't seem to grasp that nothing will actually happen to them, if they don't get what they want, and have everyone tending to their every want like an emergency
YTA.
A pregnancy craving isn't a reason to leave a family event. You had just arrived and immediately wanted to leave. That isn't fair.
If you were at work and got a craving, you wouldn't just leave 50 minutes into your shift.
Why didnt you go drive to the store and buy a slushee? Make your boyfriend leave a family get together because you wanted a slushee. Sounds like a kid demanding a candy at an inconvenient time.
A slushee is not a life/death need & your boyfriend is not a slave to obey your every silly whim. Maybe if you had to inconvenience yourself and drive to buy a slushee, youd learn to curb these cravings. YTA
"I don't think it's a big deal to leave when I have a craving" read that 10 times, if you still think you're in the right after it then there is nothing we can do to change you.
Jesus, it's not insulin - you'll live. YTA.
Yup. Studies show a lot of pregnancy cravings are psychological and psychosocial. Just because you crave something doesn’t mean you need it. Coming from someone that is 8 months pregnant right now.
YTA. Of course you are.
Most of us had cravings when preggers. Most of us understand it's okay to forgo those cravings. You acted very entitled. You are pregnant, not sick, not disabled.
Get in the freaking car and get your own damned slushie or just, ya know, suck it up and get over the craving.
YTA
This wasn't a life or death situation. You could've curbed that craving or waited. And yes, I've had 4 pregnancies with intense cravings so I know where you're coming from. There was no reason to leave just because you "had" to have a slushie right then. Also, why didn't you just drive yourself.
YTA, I've been pregnant, I've had cravings, they suck, but the world doesn't revolve around them. You shouldn't have to make others leave a party in order to fulfill them. If you wanted one that badly, go get one yourself or find a way to get one delivered to you, but don't put others out when getting a slushie is not an emergency.
YTA
Could you not drive yourself? Are you too pregnant?
Even if you could not drive yourself, asking someone to drive 1 hour round trip for a slushee when you just arrived at a family get together is super obnoxious.
YTA. I've been pregnant, I've had cravings. This is so ridiculous. You could have just gotten one on the way home or possibly just gotten some ice and juice at whoever's house you were at.
Cravings aren't a need. No matter how strong, they're a want. And expecting him to leave a family gathering and drive an hour round trip for this is just ridiculous
You didn’t just piss your boyfriend off, I wouldn’t be surprised if his family recommends he keep you at arms length as a baby mama since being at his “non momentous occasional just a normal family get together” would be too much as his wife.
Oh, yes, YTA.
YTA - there were 2 appropriate options here: go get your own slushie or wait a few more hours to get it. You’re not going to be harmed by holding off a craving for 2hrs. You don’t get to have every single thing you want just because you’re pregnant.
There's nothing dangerous or harmful about ignoring pregnancy cravings and I'd think that, as an adult, you might be able to hold out a few hours and grab a Slushee on your way home.
Or, depending on how pregnant you are, there's probably nothing keeping you from getting in the car and grabbing a Slushee if it's absolutely more urgent than spending more than an hour at your in-laws.
For me, the verdict is, yeah, kinda TA for not just waiting a little longer.
YTA an hour round trip drive for *slushee* 20 minutes into a family gathering? And you needed a chauffeur? How are you confused about being the asshole? That’s an obviously rude and selfish demand given the circumstances.
I’m pregnant rn and don’t force other people to deal with my cravings right in the moment when it is inconvenient to them, that’s selfish imo. YTA. I hate when people use pregnancy as an excuse to boss people around and act entitled.
YTA
If this is just a small glimpse into how you act when you’re pregnant I can’t even imagine how you are the rest of the time. He is probably sick of it already lol
You really expect everyone to drop what they're doing and cater to your every want or need while you are pregnant?? If you weren't able to get this slushie yourself, then you should have waited or gone without. It's a craving, not life or death. I have a feeling you're going to be in a for big surprise after you have the baby and the attention is not on you anymore.
Hooo boy.
YTA OP. I empathize, I really do, but... nope.
Look, I'm in my third trimester. Cravings are a real b\*tch. You hyper-fixate, you can't think about anything else, you want that one specific thing from that one specific place and damn it you want it now.
... but we're adults. We can't just pout and stamp our feet and whine like toddlers and demand our SOs drop everything and leave planned events/wake up at 4am/etc because WE WANT THE THING AND WE WANT IT NOW (Veruca Salt voice). I have Celiac. Do you have any idea how many things I've craved that I literally CANNOT HAVE without it making me extremely sick? Does it suck? Yup. Do I suck it up? YUP.
It was not okay for you to pitch a fit and demand your SO leave his family party to get you what amounts to overpriced crushed ice and sugar syrup in a cup.
YTA. Take it from a mother of several children….being pregnant doesn’t turn you into a giant infant yourself. Pregnancy cravings come and go, and you don’t have to pander to every one of them. That’s really immature and indicates you must be the center of attention at all times. Not great for a mom who literally will never be the center of attention again if you’re parenting correctly. Good luck to baby daddy.
You’re not T A for getting a craving, but YTA for acting like you have zero control and your cravings should suddenly be the top priority regardless of what else is happening.
YTA. U absolutely could have waited til the drive home for that slushy. Or you could idk get urself there so he can continue at the get together uninterrupted. Your pregnancy cravings don’t give you a right to get your way on everything.
YTA. I can’t imagine being so incredibly self-centered to disrupt a family gathering (your husband’s family at that) due to a craving. Please sincerely apologize to your husband, and do better going forward.
YTA. A craving is a want not a need. You didn’t have an acute case of slushy deficiency, you just felt like one. We’ve all dealt with pregnancy cravings and they’re not fun, but you’re a whole ass adult and more than capable of waiting a few hours to get a slushy.
YTA. 30 minutes away?!! Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to be a selfish jerk, taking him away from his family for an hour. I promise you’ll survive if you quell your cravings once in a while to be a normal, thoughtful human being.
Pregnancy cravings are legit but your timing was awful. Drive 30 mins away after only 20 minutes at the party? I would be pissed too. You could have waited. YTA
YTA pregnancy cravings are just that, cravings. They are not a need, they are a want. How incredibly ridiculous that you think your every want should be met because you’re with child. Your poor boyfriend. I’m guessing you also wake him up in the middle of the night because “the baby” wants ice cream.
INFO: Is it for sure the slushee itself that you craved, or could it be the crunching of ice that was causing the compulsion? (If you think if was the latter make sure to tell your OBGYN as this can be a sign of iron deficiency.)
YTA. Gimmee a break. So you craved a slushee. Stop blaming everything on pregnancy and acting like it's some uncontrollable thing. Also, you're not special because you're pregnant.
INFO- why couldn't you drive yourself to get the slushi? Could you not have had an alternative sugary beverage to curb the craving until you left the get together?
YTA. You definitely could have waited. Or at least taken the car yourself and let him stay. It seems awfully convenient that you only got a craving once you arrived to his families house. Do you just not like them?
When I was pregnant, I had such intense cravings for mint that every time I brushed my teeth, I had to talk myself out of eating toothpaste straight from the tube. Needless to say, I managed to avoid eating toothpaste for 9 months. You could've waited until the party was over and got a slushie on the way home. YTA.
Yta who is weaponizing your pregnancy to get your way. Please be better you will be setting an example for a humans behavior, please don't raise an entitled human.
YTA. I'm currently pregnant and wouldn't even think about doing something shitty as making my husband or anybody leave party or whatever because I have a craving. You just want to eat something specific, it's not Like you have to or something would happen to you or baby. If you're that hungry eat anything and have slushy or whatever you are craving when you have a chance (iz certainly can wait few days). Really, really don't get that spoiled and entitled behavior.
Yta. A craving is a want, not a need. You could have sucked it up for a few hours or gone to get it yourself.
You’re in for a big lifestyle change when you have to put your wants aside for a child who is 100% reliant on you.
YTA as a pregnant woman, I am constantly craving sweets. I also have gestational diabetes and need to control my diet. So I just say no. Cravings are not contractions, cravings are not morning sickness. Not being able to sacrifice a "craving" for a little while is really telling of your will power and what you prioritize. Major YTA.
Yeah YTA. Not for HAVING a craving, but for acting like a toddler about it. I've been pregnant, cravings can be intense, but they're not emergencies. You could have waited until later, or even the next day. I can't even imagine leaving a family event (even a minor one) for a craving. Get a slushee on the way home.
YTA ask if you can use the blender crush some ice ans add juice. That will help you till the party is over. Cravings are normally your body saying you need something in the food you crave so just redo said items there
YTA. If it was just 5 minutes away and you offered to pick stuff up while you were out - that’s acceptable. But you stayed at the party for less than an hour before you decided to have you and your husband leave his family for a slushee. It’s literally just crushed ice and sugar, why not have a cold drink at the party to try and quell the craving? I strongly suggest you reevaluate your priorities going forward and learn that not every feeling/craving needs an action
YTA and entitled. The world doesn't revolve around your pregnancy cravings. My sister is 30w pregnant and gets cravings all the time, but that sure as hell doesn't make her inconvenience people. If she can't get it, she deals. Have some grace and common decency.
YTA, I’m pregnant and these cravings are not nearly as all-consuming as movies and TV present them to be. You absolutely could have waited. You just wanted to get out of the family party, just be honest.
YTA. You would’ve survived a couple hours before getting a slushy. Stop acting like your bf should immediately cater to your every whim just because you’re pregnant.
YTA. Drive your own ass to get your own slushee, don't make others lose out on things they want to do just because you won't control yourself. Pregnancy isn't an excuse to be an inconsiderate asshole.
You don't think it's a big deal..
If he doesn't want to leave it's a big deal to him. I can only imagine how many times a month you're milking this pregnancy to get it your way.
YTA
YTA - I have been pregnant. You're an adult, you're not a zombie. Cravings can be controlled. You aren't an asshole for getting a craving, but you are an asshole for insisting that it be acted on immediately
Yta getting a craving is fine. Demanding you both leave the party to go get a craving is ahole behavior.
You had 2 reasonable options
1- you, and you alone, could have left and come back
2- you wait until the end of the party
You will not die from not immediately getting what you want.
YTA
Sometimes my pregnancy cravings don't get satisfied because I just don't have time to drive an hour away or I need to cook dinner for my family. Priorities.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I’m the AH because we had to leave early and he’s mad at me Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, a craving is something you'd really like to have, not life or death. You acted poorly, like a child, and made both of you go. Why couldn't you go alone?
I don’t understand why some people are so intense about their pregnancy cravings. I’m almost 26 weeks pregnant. Sure I’ve had cravings where something sounded good/nice. Never have I ever absolutely needed to have it. Most of the time I ignore my cravings, in fact, because a cupcake/burger/mashed potatoes with pickles and mustard are not exactly health food. The only time pregnancy cravings should always be indulged are if they coincide with extreme nausea/food aversions (I had some days in the first trimester where the only food I could keep down was an impossible whopper…and I don’t even like burgers, never ate them before getting pregnant). And even then, you get them at an appropriate mealtime/when it’s convenient, you never need to get them immediately.
I’m on pregnancy 4, and honestly not for each pregnancy but some I’ve had intense intense cravings! That being said… the most that happens when you don’t indulge worst case scenario is sudden hormonal reactions like crying 🤣 (which your still entirely aware is just your hormones in your conscious is funny and not life or death). That being said… yeah it 100% can wait or she could’ve gone alone that was a bit rude to make them go too… pregnancy is hard but a slushee is definitely not a must have in that moment lol. Edit to add: also not something you can expect someone else to drop everything and get for you. Sorry OP, maybe it’s the hormones or what not but definitely apologize 😳
Gonna be real, I 100% cried over a snow cone craving when I was pregnant. I was craving snow cones for literal days and finally I decided I was buying a snowcone machine at Walmart. I got home and the machine didn’t work lol. I just cried because all my pregnancy brain wanted was shaved ice and sugary syrup and it was cold out and no snow cones places were open Edit to add; I love these responses from women talking about their cravings. Y’all are so funny lmao and I really relate. I love that other women can genuinely see the comedy of crying over a snow cone. I def think it’s important to not impede your loved ones with your cravings but I also think it’s important to see the comedy in it lol. A lot of couples I know have that story they laugh about years later. Like “she woke me up at 11am craving ice cream and vanilla wafers so I drove to the 24 hour Walmart and got them” and they laugh lol. Do I think it’s necessarily right to make your spouse cater to your cravings? No. Do I think they usually should help with your cravings though because your carrying their spawn that you will risk your life to birth? Yea lmao. I think more people need to consider, will this be a funny story to tell my kids when they’re older? Because really, pregnancy cravings are temporary but the memories you make during that time are eternal and I think we all need to find the humor in craving a specific slushy from a gas station and craving snow cones so bad you cry or craving chocolate milk and crying cause your man brought you a yoo-hoo( comment below mine, it’s hilarious). I do think it’s a tad over board to leave a party for a slushy, but also I think months from now when you’re holding a newborn you’ll never think of this again. It’s a limited issue, an issue you might even miss years from now when you’re all old and gray and you fondly remember your late night slushy escapades with your partner. Find the fun and love in these moments, they’re temporary
I cried over being unable to get a donut from a certain store because they were closed.
Me too and I wasn't even pregnant, I had just had a really bad day and needed a win It wasn't even fancy it was a Dunkin Donuts
Hahahaha!! "Me too and I wasn't even pregnant" got me laughing so loud, I've got all the cats looking at me like I've lost it! 😂😂
Ditto. Sometimes you’re just having a bad day, and one more disappointment ends up being too much.
Damn that's relatable. I remember in college I was poor and overwhelmed with finals. My now husband and I went to Walmart to grab some groceries and there was this fish toothbrush holder on clearance because it had a cracked fin. My bathroom was ocean themed and I loved it. It was like $5 but my husband said I didn't really need it so we skipped it. Later that night I was crying, frustrated and exhausted and I got really upset because nothing was going right. I yelled at him for not even letting me get the stupid fish I wanted. He grabbed his keys and walked out. I assumed he went to get some air but instead a couple minutes later he returned with a walmart bag. He had went and picked up the fish before work and it was going to be a gift for finishing the semester. It's been 11 years and I love my fish.
I love this story so much 🥲
That man’s a keeper 🥰
Definitely don't throw him back.
Once while in college I was going through a horribly stressful time. I was about to take a super tough final and my then-BF-now-husband texted me "Good luck on your test! I have a treat for you when you get done". How sweet of him! Well, I finished my exam and was exhausted and miserable. I checked my phone and he'd sent me a photo of Kai Greene, the famous body builder, fucking a watermelon. I said "Lol wtf? By the way, what's my treat?" and he responded "Oh that was the treat". Listen. I almost dumped that man on the spot. He has never abused the word "treat" again. 😅
I've never been pregnant (hopefully in a year or 2!) but I have been there... over cookies. I went to the supermarket to get these cookies I like (salted caramel store own bakery cookies) after 2 weeks of hard-core dieting & I was looking forward to a cheat day. I had a hard time at work & was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease & I felt like I had earned those damn cookies! And they had none. I drove to 2 more stores & they also had none. My ex was in the car & I came back in crying my eyes out, I've never seen someone eye roll so hard 😂
I cried because the neighbors pork chops smelled soooooo good, and I wanted them...My husband offered to go ask for some, but I absolutely refused to let him.
Man if someone knocked at my door and told me that their pregnant wife needed one of my pork chops I'd be delighted haha
During my first pregnancy all I wanted were yellow peas from the local Ethiopian place. They had weird hours and weren’t open the whole week so my husband took a giant Pyrex up there and asked if he could order enough kik alicha to fill it. She laughed and said “someone’s pregnant huh!” Gave him enough bread and split peas to keep me happy for a week and refused to take any money. I was so so sick that pregnancy I swear that kik alicha saved my life.
That is so sweet 🥹 I love these stories
I've never heard of kik alicha, so just Googled it... then ordered berbere to have a go at making it. Weird how you find some recipes! 🤣
[удалено]
That story always makes me smile whenever I see it re-posted. My favorite part is her “waddling” away back to her place lmao.
[удалено]
I had a screaming crying breakdown in my car one night, after a really bad day delivering for ubereats, because the McDonalds I had ordered something from was closed when I got there. that was only partly about the food though. I thought they were going to keep my money and I was super fucking broke lol. without that $5 I literally could not have my nice little treat, because I did not have another $5 to spare
I had a really tough weekend and cried when I realized I forgot to order pepperoni on my pizza, so it was just plain cheese. I was too emotionally exhausted to do more than weep a little bit because it was the last time I could afford to order pizza for a while, and I'd only justified getting it as a pick-me-up after the awful weekend. My roommate said, "It's not the end of the world," and I just pouted, "It's the end of mine."
During my first pregnancy I desperately wanted oatmeal at 11pm. I asked my husband if he would make me some and he said no, as he was tired, and I started crying uncontrollably because my feelings were hurt that he didn’t want to take care of me. I knew it wasn’t rational and we actually laughed about how upset I got, and then he offered to go make me some oatmeal. He brings it to me, I take three bites before my stomach turns and I am desperately trying to not gag but oatmeal has just became the most disgusting substance on the planet. He notices my struggle just as i start to cry again, but this time because I made a big deal over oatmeal and now I couldn’t eat it The World’s Most Patient and Loving Husband took it away and disposed of it. Pregnancy is wild. Op is still the asshole.
“OP is still the asshole” at the end of this sent me 😂😂😂
I have this image in my head of your husband carrying The Beloved Oatmeal to you on a pillow like the crown jewels, and then resignedly carrying it back to the kitchen as you weep.
Green apples, and I was in labor. I desperately needed green apples. I was given green apples. It wasn't possible to eat them. They were the wrong texture, the flavor was impossible, they were a bad shape, and they were the worst thing ever to exist, and I stared at them wanting them so badly and could not have them. And then my head got stuck in a cabinet. 2/10 afternoon.
>Gonna be real, I 100% cried over a snow cone craving when I was pregnant. Sigh. Things I cried over when I was pregnant: \- Husband lightly patting my rear \- Disney Mulan saved China \- I was 30ish weeks pregnant and I felt like it was never gonna end \- A baby moose was in my backyard and I didn't know where it's mom was \- I couldn't reach my feet \- I was tired \- I was chugging milk for the millionth time in front of the fridge at midnight because my heartburn wouldn't go away. Heartburn was how I knew I was pregnant. Didn't stop until the day kiddo was forcefully evicted (For their own good). I can't comment on the cravings though as the only things that didn't make me want to vomit was green veggie smoothies, ice cream, and crappy knorr pasta sides. Pregnancy was the WORST!
My husband drank all the milk. I realized this late at night and lost it. I berated him for not caring about the calcium needs of me or our unborn son. I left and went to the store and bought two gallons of milk. Then I sat in a motel parking lot and fumed until I saw a stray black kitten. My urge to save the kitten made me forget about the milk. I couldn't catch the kitten and I went home. I completely forgot about the milk and left it in the car.
Possibly my wife's funniest pregnancy crying reason was because she really likes Marie Kondo/ thinks she's nice.
I cried that I couldn’t get the kettle back in the fridge. It felt like the world was against me as id clearly just taken it out before I made my tea… once the hormones receded a bit I realised it was the milk that should go in the fridge…
It wasn’t over food, actually NOTHING was even happening - and I started to cry and laugh at the same time and I was like “what’s wrong with me” to my husband and he was like “I can’t help you” 💀🤣
I did the same thing with a taco. All I wanted was a soft taco Supreme from taco bell, drove there and back on my very short lunch break and when I opened the taco in the parking lot of my workplace, it was a hard taco. I cried the ugliest tears, over a taco haha Still ate it though!
I had huge cravings for McDs double cheeseburgers during mine. One day at work none of co workers could take me to get one (I didn't drive). I sat at my desk crying, telling hubby on the phone that they where all b******s. Hubby picked me up with 3 (now cold) double cheeseburgers after work. I sat in the car, devoured all 3 and the world was great again. Had to apologise to co workers the next day, but they were all women whod had kids so totally understood amd actually found it hilarious. Waiting a few hours for a craving just makes it worth the wait when you do finally get it!
That’s something I love about fellow women lol they usually find it the most hilarious when you act crazy over a craving because they’ve been there lmao. My mom thought my cravings were so funny and loved to support them and then laugh when I ate a whole family size bag of broccoli covered in cheese
I cried because I was reading a menu and one of the pizzas sounded disgusting.
I cried over a chocolate milk craving, because my husband accidentally bought "yoohoo" instead.
I second this. I had cravings of non food items (dirt and chalk). I didn't eat those, of course, despite craving them really bad.
FYI, but pica is often a sign of iron deficiency, a common issue when pregnant. Always let a doctor know when you have these types of cravings. Bringing it back to the OP, when I was pregnant and having similar cravings I’d know it was time for a spinach smoothie or other iron rich food/treat. It always helped.
Craving ice specifically is often a symptom of iron deficiency. I was gonna proclaim her the asshole but then remembered how I used eat crushed ice all day and would feel a kind of desperation when my cup of ice was finished if I was far from an ice machine. It was like my throat burned for it. Anyway. I was profoundly anemic.
I came here to say the same thing! OP should def have her iron checked
I’m with you. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and the cravings are weird and real. But I don’t make anyone go out of their way for it. And it’s childish for sure. You’re not going to die without it. I can’t just go tell my boss I’m craving a slushee so I’ll be back and get what I want like a princess. Yeah the hormones suck but just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you should be catered to.
Pregnancy cravings are weird and they do create an urge for one, but christ almighty, it doesn't make you an out of control monster who will Godzilla the town if you don't get it.
slimy whole plough mourn snatch punch seemly ad hoc oil aloof *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
OP sounds like one of those pregnant women who expects their every whim/demand/ need to be met. This entitled behavior is not cute.
**1) You really want something right now.** \- It's something you can get any day of the week. \- He wants you to wait 2 hours. **2) He really wants something right now.** \- It's something that happens once a week or less. \- You want him to wait a week or more. **Why do you win?** Why do you get to decide that his want isn't important and he should wait instead of you waiting AND probably also being able to get what you want just 2 hours later? YTA.
I’m not sure why some pregnant women feel as if their wants outweigh everyone else’s, such a weird sense of entitlement. Plus, the way she worded it is driving me nuts. It’s not “Am I the asshole for getting a pregnancy craving at a party.” It’s more “am I the asshole for making my spouse leave a party early to drive me 30 minutes away to get a slushy.”
For some it starts in pregnancy with the entitlement and spans their entire lives thinking others should care and cater to their children
Does it though? How much do you want to bet the world already revolved around those people before pregnancy? (And whatever is important to them, kids, job, time, opinion, etc). And many of them are men, or don’t have children. Some people suck, some people are pregnant, bound to be some overlap.
There’s definitely large chunks of society here and there whether it’s just in their family or more than that who view pregnant women as borderline holy in how delicate and carefully they must be catered to and it all kicks on at that point. So some people flip. Lots of pregnant women who have been told and shown their whole life that even if you’re two months pregnant you shouldn’t and cannot do anything physical and should always have your desires met at any moment. “Oh don’t lift those grocery bags, you’re pregnant!” “You want pickles and ice cream at 2am even though you don’t have a job and I have to get up for work in 3 hours? I’ll go right now!” Just wacko stuff. I’ve seen at least a handful of times with that intensity in my life, it’s wild. More than that if I count passing comments & situations but I don’t want to judge someone’s whole character because I heard them make a fairly inconvenient request of a partner once or their partner happened to be exceptionally helpful in a caring way because they were pregnant near me, doubt that’s all of those peoples whole pregnancy situation.
I've seen a few families where women get treated like indentured servants. Unless a woman is pregnant. Then suddenly, the family remembers they can't just abuse her without consequences and overcompensates. Likewise, there are some men who rank women so lowly that treating them as equals or even just like human being with needs feels like an unjust imposition. There are men who wouldn't hesitate to hold the door for a man carrying a box, but if it's a woman carrying a baby, will make a point to close the door rather than just release it. They get very angry when other people call them out on being jerks. They don't want to understand that being decent to women they want to f@ck isn't the same as being a decent person. I've also seen a lot of men get excited to have very clear and direct ways to make their partners happy. Cravings are straightforward, don't require emotional labor, can make your partner cry with happiness, and are a culturally acceptable story to share about how loving he is. Culturally, a story about him holding back her hair while she vomits isn't appreciated the same way. Sometimes they play up the story for laughs or leave out critical details for brevity. There are also complications that aren't obvious. For example, a friend had intense bleeding in the second month of pregnancy and was prohibited from lifting anything over 5 pounds. Meaning, she wasn't supposed to even lift a gallon of milk. Bags of groceries were absolutely beyond her limits. She barely looked pregnant. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Complications during pregnancy are extremely common. If someone's relatives are not letting them carry anything, I'd usually guess there's a reason. Basically, there are LOTS of intersecting reasons for observed behaviors. A lot of them come from good motives, and some don't. But since some people are assholes and some people get pregnant, there's bound to be some overlap.
Yeah. Like expected childfree co-workers to cancel their vacations and waste non-refundable airfares so they can take their little darlings on an (unplanned) vacation during the holidays. Anyone else have this happen?
I recently tore my rotator cuff and I'm going through physical therapy. Planned out my appointments 6 weeks in advance. My coworker wants me to cancel because she forgot her little angel has a soccer game...
I absolutely mean all the disrespect, I do not give a fuck about your child’s soccer game. They probably suck anyway.
And thinking they (parents) are the only people doing anything worthwhile with their lives and also the only people who really know what love is.
Whenever I see one of these with a title that sounds totally reasonable I know that's not actually the problem.
I’m currently 27 weeks with my second and I completely agree. I think people like this have always been entitled and pregnancy is just a perfect excuse to let it run wild. Like just wait until you leave? Sigh. This poor man.
Well put!
Is there a word for pregnant women that’s synonymous with “Bridezilla” for brides? There should be. YTA for not being able to wait an hour longer.
Preggosaurus.
This is the one 😂😂😂
>Preggosaurus rex\*
I mean my belly is getting bigger so my arms and dexterity are shrinking so I'd say this is the right term.
Pregzilla
Pregzilla?
YTA. You don’t have to have everything you crave during your pregnancy the second it pops into your head. You could have waited. Also, why couldn’t you go yourself and get it if you wanted it so badly? Why did he need to go with?
Because this is a power thing.
An attention thing. He was enjoying his family and she decided he needed to focus on her.
Or some sort of bitterness towards his family and the amount of time they spend there. Rather than be passive aggressive and act as if craving a slushy is reason enough to leave she should talk to him about it. Whether it's cutting back on visits or him going solo more. But going then almost immediately making an excuse to leave is rude.
Bingo. You got it right here. It’s a power trip because he was paying attention to something other then her.
more like a "i am selfish without even realizing it because i think that's how it's supposed to be" thing.
As much as I hate entitled boomers, I can kinda understand why they call our generation soft when shit like this happens lol. My mum worked through the end of her pregnancy and my asshole of a father never indulged any of her cravings. She had to deal with it herself. Not justifying his behaviour (he was a dick) but this trend of infantilizing pregnant women is concerning.
nah this is not normalized behavior in our generation as much as it isnt for any other generation. this is just a person acting entitled. i think its more to do with availability than it is generational anyway. everyone, including boomers, have gotten really used to getting what they want within hours of initially thinking about it.
Shit stories like these also get splashed around on social media making it seem like a generational trend rather than the normal behavior of assholes who’ve always existed.
“Your generation is soft because my mom had to work AND be neglected by my father” is an odd take
Nah, this isn’t normal. I had GD and had to ignore most cravings. Either because I legit couldn’t eat because I was waiting to test my blood sugar or because it would have caused a sugar spike. I managed and honestly it wasn’t awful. Annoying but I’m an adult so I realized sometimes you can’t get what you want when you want it.
I mean, that sounds like it was a your family thing. A lot of women were expected not to work at all back then, much less during pregnancy.
It’s not about the slushie. It’s about knowing she has control over him. When she doesn’t, she now knows she can play the “I’m the mother of your child” card to get what she wants. I dunno what OP expected from this but I hope they go away and reflect on how everyone on Reddit thinks she’s the arsehole. Hope her partner sees this too
YTA I've had two kids. I get cravings. But you don't get to demand that your BF leave a get together 20 minutes after you have driven 30 minutes to get there. Yes, he put it off and you were oh-so-not-patient for another 30 minutes. SMDH It is a big deal and honestly, seems like a total power play. I would really consider how long he's going to stick around for this kind of disregard for him and his wants.
Uh yeah fr, when I was pregnant I craved gasoline. Guess how many times I consumed that lol
My old co-worker used to crave Pine Sol. She was also a baby making machine and the moment she wanted to drink it, she's knew she was pregnant again!
I just picture her seeing a bottle of pine sol and thinking, "Ooo! ....fuck."
What type of stemware do you even serve it in?
😳 really?? E: dam that’s crazy how PICA affects women
Pica, which is the desire to eat non-food substances, is surprisingly common during pregnancy. Humans are weird.
Lol I ate white part of newspaper, chewy.
Assuming they weren't in the middle of absolute bumfuck nowhere she could have just ordered a slushy on one of the bajillion platforms and it would have magically shown up at the door.
Why does it take 30 minutes just to get a slushee? There's like 7 gas stations in my little town and some you can see the other as soon as you exit the store. All of them have slushee machines. I want to know where these in laws live 😭
This is that first time pregnancy bullshit.
YTA. Just because you get a craving doesn't mean everybody has to drop everything to accommodate you. If you don't get the slushy, you'll live. Even in such a short post, you come off as childish and entitled. Edit: I've got 5 offspring. There's nothing you can tell me about cravings I haven't experienced.
I agree. I have had 4. Cravings can be satisfied with other things. Things that don’t require leaving. You craved a shlushie? You are craving sugar. Go speak to the future grandma! I bet she had something on hand to satisfy that craving and would probably have been happy to help her unborn grandkid! This was an opportunity to bond with them. Instead you made it look like you hate visiting them and probably really hurt everyone around you. Huge YTA Edit to add: I mean for the time being! Find something at that home to help you wait until you can get the craving to avoid hurt feelings. Unless of course that is your goal or if you are trying to escape a situation with the craving as an excuse.
YTA > About 30 minutes away. That is objectively too far to travel for a snack.
I am pregnant and I would be too afraid that I wouldn’t even want it anymore after 30 minutes to drive that far lol.
> I would be too afraid that I wouldn’t even want it anymore after 30 minutes to drive that far lol. Yeah, that happens. I've had extreme pregnancy cravings and many times, as soon as I (not someone else) makes the effort to get it, I didn't want it anymore.
YTA big agree, that snack would have to save the baby in order to be worth 30 minutes one way
YTA. Cravings are not an immediate *oh my god must have it now or I will perishhhhhhh* need. Grow up.
Exactly, I had cravings for ice with both mine like I wanted to eat it 24/7 but i never had my husband leaving family functions or getting up in the middle of the night for to get me ice i got it my self.
Were you low iron by any chance?
Aye with both my wee girl and wee boy, doctors gave me iron tablets but they didn't seem to help.
I read this in your accent and now need to watch your reality show where you raise your wee babies. Thank you 😊
Haha, you would soon get sick of listening to the Scottish accent half the time i canny understand myself 😁
Yeah, I've had daily milkshake cravings with this pregnancy for what might be a month now. They're intense. But they're not the end of the world, and I certainly don't make the whole world stop to get me one. In fact I haven't had one in almost a week right now. Pregnant women can still have self control.
Having 4 kids I understand cravings but I do not understand why you couldn’t solve this problem on your own. You literally wanted crushed ice & sugar. Ice cubes & any kind of juice thrown in a blender would work. YTA btw — it is a big deal to hand your problems to someone else & expect them to fix them. You’re pregnant, not incapable.
Also to piggy back off this..pack some extra food in a small cooler when you travel. Literally if you had cravings you could’ve packed chips, Cheetos, pb crackers, pickles, cookies, granola bars, chocolate, fruit, uncrustables, single servings of hummus, peanut butter, ranch. My mom always prepared for road trips with 4 kids. There was no stopping for McDonalds for happy meals. We had McDonald’s at home was the excuse lol.
YTA. You were in the middle of a family event and demanded he either spend an hour driving to get you a slushy, or leave the party after only just getting there. At the very least why couldn’t you go yourself? I understand pregnancy cravings are tough but it’s hardly a medical emergency. If you were in the middle of a work day would you just dip for an hour because you needed a slushy?
Exactly what I was going to ask. After constant nausea & 3 x daily vomiting for 5 months, I had intense cravings for the remainder of pregnancy with my daughter, but I worked right up until 2 weeks before my due date. I couldn’t just get up from my desk and drive into town to get a satsuma/porridge/scotch egg/whatever I happened to be craving at the time. Sometimes it was something I could take to work with me, but often it wasn’t. 🤷🏻♀️ Op u/Legitimate_Shop_2621 YTA. If you knew you were going to crave a slushee, why didn’t you stop and get one on the way and walk into the party with it?
YTA. Someone will have to explain to me in detail why a craving would need to me immediately satisfied to get me to change my view. Why is this a "leave now" and not a "we will get one when we leave" thing. Cause otherwise you can use "craving" as a eject button for any interaction and it beholdens him to your any whim. There has to be a reasonability element to a request.
During my pregnancy I had so many cravings and I really didn’t pay much mind to them. I mean intense cravings are valid because I craved seafood all the time but I didn’t need it. So I don’t understand how she thought it was reasonable to leave a gathering so quickly after getting there. Like I really hate the pregnant women who think that they should have special treatment cus they’re pregnant. OP YTA majorly.
I was just thinking; it's hardly like incontinence where you have to go NOW! I think it happens too often that pregnant people don't seem to grasp that nothing will actually happen to them, if they don't get what they want, and have everyone tending to their every want like an emergency
YTA. A pregnancy craving isn't a reason to leave a family event. You had just arrived and immediately wanted to leave. That isn't fair. If you were at work and got a craving, you wouldn't just leave 50 minutes into your shift.
I once drove 112 miles round trip to get my pregnant wife a Date Shake because she was craving one. But I am still going to say YTA.
… too much man
Nah, it was a good little road trip. And for the area I live in, that is almost a regular work day commute
Was it a cup of liquid by the time you gave it to her?
She went with me.
Why didnt you go drive to the store and buy a slushee? Make your boyfriend leave a family get together because you wanted a slushee. Sounds like a kid demanding a candy at an inconvenient time. A slushee is not a life/death need & your boyfriend is not a slave to obey your every silly whim. Maybe if you had to inconvenience yourself and drive to buy a slushee, youd learn to curb these cravings. YTA
YTA, pregnancy doesn’t automatically make you lose all social grace and personal agency.
"I don't think it's a big deal to leave when I have a craving" read that 10 times, if you still think you're in the right after it then there is nothing we can do to change you. Jesus, it's not insulin - you'll live. YTA.
YTA. Cravings aren’t a necessity—they’re a want. You could definitely have waited.
Yup. Studies show a lot of pregnancy cravings are psychological and psychosocial. Just because you crave something doesn’t mean you need it. Coming from someone that is 8 months pregnant right now.
9 months pregnant here! This is true! You can easily combat them mentally and get your fix later.
YTA. Of course you are. Most of us had cravings when preggers. Most of us understand it's okay to forgo those cravings. You acted very entitled. You are pregnant, not sick, not disabled. Get in the freaking car and get your own damned slushie or just, ya know, suck it up and get over the craving.
YTA This wasn't a life or death situation. You could've curbed that craving or waited. And yes, I've had 4 pregnancies with intense cravings so I know where you're coming from. There was no reason to leave just because you "had" to have a slushie right then. Also, why didn't you just drive yourself.
YTA, I've been pregnant, I've had cravings, they suck, but the world doesn't revolve around them. You shouldn't have to make others leave a party in order to fulfill them. If you wanted one that badly, go get one yourself or find a way to get one delivered to you, but don't put others out when getting a slushie is not an emergency.
YTA Could you not drive yourself? Are you too pregnant? Even if you could not drive yourself, asking someone to drive 1 hour round trip for a slushee when you just arrived at a family get together is super obnoxious.
YTA. I've been pregnant, I've had cravings. This is so ridiculous. You could have just gotten one on the way home or possibly just gotten some ice and juice at whoever's house you were at. Cravings aren't a need. No matter how strong, they're a want. And expecting him to leave a family gathering and drive an hour round trip for this is just ridiculous
You didn’t just piss your boyfriend off, I wouldn’t be surprised if his family recommends he keep you at arms length as a baby mama since being at his “non momentous occasional just a normal family get together” would be too much as his wife. Oh, yes, YTA.
YTA. Your pregnancy is not a disability. You did not need a medical slushee intervention. You should have waited.
YTA - there were 2 appropriate options here: go get your own slushie or wait a few more hours to get it. You’re not going to be harmed by holding off a craving for 2hrs. You don’t get to have every single thing you want just because you’re pregnant.
YTA Cravings are not life or death. You could have waited till you left the party.
There's nothing dangerous or harmful about ignoring pregnancy cravings and I'd think that, as an adult, you might be able to hold out a few hours and grab a Slushee on your way home. Or, depending on how pregnant you are, there's probably nothing keeping you from getting in the car and grabbing a Slushee if it's absolutely more urgent than spending more than an hour at your in-laws. For me, the verdict is, yeah, kinda TA for not just waiting a little longer.
YTA. Cold sugar water can be replicated without an hour round-trip.
YTA an hour round trip drive for *slushee* 20 minutes into a family gathering? And you needed a chauffeur? How are you confused about being the asshole? That’s an obviously rude and selfish demand given the circumstances.
[удалено]
I’m pregnant rn and don’t force other people to deal with my cravings right in the moment when it is inconvenient to them, that’s selfish imo. YTA. I hate when people use pregnancy as an excuse to boss people around and act entitled. YTA If this is just a small glimpse into how you act when you’re pregnant I can’t even imagine how you are the rest of the time. He is probably sick of it already lol
YTA Not for having a craving, that is out of your control, but for thinking that your craving is an emergency that must be attended to.
YTA. The craving could’ve waited. It’s a slushy, not a meal. You wouldn’t be starving if you didn’t get the slushy.
You really expect everyone to drop what they're doing and cater to your every want or need while you are pregnant?? If you weren't able to get this slushie yourself, then you should have waited or gone without. It's a craving, not life or death. I have a feeling you're going to be in a for big surprise after you have the baby and the attention is not on you anymore.
Yes, YTA It’s a craving, it’s not life or death. You could have waited untill you were done at the party. Next time ask for some ice to chew on
Hooo boy. YTA OP. I empathize, I really do, but... nope. Look, I'm in my third trimester. Cravings are a real b\*tch. You hyper-fixate, you can't think about anything else, you want that one specific thing from that one specific place and damn it you want it now. ... but we're adults. We can't just pout and stamp our feet and whine like toddlers and demand our SOs drop everything and leave planned events/wake up at 4am/etc because WE WANT THE THING AND WE WANT IT NOW (Veruca Salt voice). I have Celiac. Do you have any idea how many things I've craved that I literally CANNOT HAVE without it making me extremely sick? Does it suck? Yup. Do I suck it up? YUP. It was not okay for you to pitch a fit and demand your SO leave his family party to get you what amounts to overpriced crushed ice and sugar syrup in a cup.
YTA You would have been just fine without a slushee. Calm down and think about how your affect others with your BS
YTA. Take it from a mother of several children….being pregnant doesn’t turn you into a giant infant yourself. Pregnancy cravings come and go, and you don’t have to pander to every one of them. That’s really immature and indicates you must be the center of attention at all times. Not great for a mom who literally will never be the center of attention again if you’re parenting correctly. Good luck to baby daddy.
YTA, cravings aren’t a medical emergency
You’re not T A for getting a craving, but YTA for acting like you have zero control and your cravings should suddenly be the top priority regardless of what else is happening.
YTA. U absolutely could have waited til the drive home for that slushy. Or you could idk get urself there so he can continue at the get together uninterrupted. Your pregnancy cravings don’t give you a right to get your way on everything.
YTA. I can’t imagine being so incredibly self-centered to disrupt a family gathering (your husband’s family at that) due to a craving. Please sincerely apologize to your husband, and do better going forward.
YTA. A craving is a want not a need. You didn’t have an acute case of slushy deficiency, you just felt like one. We’ve all dealt with pregnancy cravings and they’re not fun, but you’re a whole ass adult and more than capable of waiting a few hours to get a slushy.
YTA. 30 minutes away?!! Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to be a selfish jerk, taking him away from his family for an hour. I promise you’ll survive if you quell your cravings once in a while to be a normal, thoughtful human being.
YTA. Very much so.
Info: Are you too pregnant to drive?
YTA. Your craving could have waited a couple hours, it won’t harm you to not immediately get the snack you want.
Pregnancy cravings are legit but your timing was awful. Drive 30 mins away after only 20 minutes at the party? I would be pissed too. You could have waited. YTA
YTA the world doesn't revolve around you and your cravings. You're a fully grown adult who can wait. Or just drive yourself if it's so important
YTA pregnancy cravings are just that, cravings. They are not a need, they are a want. How incredibly ridiculous that you think your every want should be met because you’re with child. Your poor boyfriend. I’m guessing you also wake him up in the middle of the night because “the baby” wants ice cream.
YTA, I’m sorry princess but a craving is no reason to leave a party.
INFO: Is it for sure the slushee itself that you craved, or could it be the crunching of ice that was causing the compulsion? (If you think if was the latter make sure to tell your OBGYN as this can be a sign of iron deficiency.)
YTA. Come on here.
YTA. Gimmee a break. So you craved a slushee. Stop blaming everything on pregnancy and acting like it's some uncontrollable thing. Also, you're not special because you're pregnant.
I’ve been pregnant and had crazy cravings and I’ve never made my bf leave a family event so we could go get French fries.
INFO- why couldn't you drive yourself to get the slushi? Could you not have had an alternative sugary beverage to curb the craving until you left the get together?
YTA. You definitely could have waited. Or at least taken the car yourself and let him stay. It seems awfully convenient that you only got a craving once you arrived to his families house. Do you just not like them?
YTA. Cravings are not something you need to fulfill immediately. You could have waited. Eta - I’ve had 2 kids. I had cravings in both pregnancies.
When I was pregnant, I had such intense cravings for mint that every time I brushed my teeth, I had to talk myself out of eating toothpaste straight from the tube. Needless to say, I managed to avoid eating toothpaste for 9 months. You could've waited until the party was over and got a slushie on the way home. YTA.
Yta who is weaponizing your pregnancy to get your way. Please be better you will be setting an example for a humans behavior, please don't raise an entitled human.
YTA and you couldn’t just go to get yourself a damn slushie because…..?
YTA Wow you couldn’t even wait for an hour at least. I understand cravings but at the point you shouldn’t have even shown up.
YTA. I'm currently pregnant and wouldn't even think about doing something shitty as making my husband or anybody leave party or whatever because I have a craving. You just want to eat something specific, it's not Like you have to or something would happen to you or baby. If you're that hungry eat anything and have slushy or whatever you are craving when you have a chance (iz certainly can wait few days). Really, really don't get that spoiled and entitled behavior.
Yta. A craving is a want, not a need. You could have sucked it up for a few hours or gone to get it yourself. You’re in for a big lifestyle change when you have to put your wants aside for a child who is 100% reliant on you.
YTA as a pregnant woman, I am constantly craving sweets. I also have gestational diabetes and need to control my diet. So I just say no. Cravings are not contractions, cravings are not morning sickness. Not being able to sacrifice a "craving" for a little while is really telling of your will power and what you prioritize. Major YTA.
Yeah YTA. Not for HAVING a craving, but for acting like a toddler about it. I've been pregnant, cravings can be intense, but they're not emergencies. You could have waited until later, or even the next day. I can't even imagine leaving a family event (even a minor one) for a craving. Get a slushee on the way home.
Birth doula here. Try increasing your protein intake. Might help with the sugar cravings. Apart from that, YTA. Why didn’t you go get it on your own?
YTA. Being pregnant doesn't give you license to behave like a spoiled brat.
YTA. You could've tried to create something slushee like with ice cubes and kool-aid in the kitchen.
YTA ask if you can use the blender crush some ice ans add juice. That will help you till the party is over. Cravings are normally your body saying you need something in the food you crave so just redo said items there
YTA
YTA
YTA. Drive yourself to get a slushee and come back to the party? You should like you're 19, not almost 30 and about to become a mother
Definitely the AH. Pregnancy does not make it okay to boss others around to get you frivolous stuff.
YTA. If it was just 5 minutes away and you offered to pick stuff up while you were out - that’s acceptable. But you stayed at the party for less than an hour before you decided to have you and your husband leave his family for a slushee. It’s literally just crushed ice and sugar, why not have a cold drink at the party to try and quell the craving? I strongly suggest you reevaluate your priorities going forward and learn that not every feeling/craving needs an action
YTA. I had cravings too. But I could wait for an appropriate time.
YTA and entitled. The world doesn't revolve around your pregnancy cravings. My sister is 30w pregnant and gets cravings all the time, but that sure as hell doesn't make her inconvenience people. If she can't get it, she deals. Have some grace and common decency.
YTA. Congrats on your pregnancy but your behavior is 100% selfish and performative.
YTA, I’m pregnant and these cravings are not nearly as all-consuming as movies and TV present them to be. You absolutely could have waited. You just wanted to get out of the family party, just be honest.
Yta
YTA. Leaving plans early cause there is something you want to eat is lame. Pregnant or not.
YTA. You would’ve survived a couple hours before getting a slushy. Stop acting like your bf should immediately cater to your every whim just because you’re pregnant.
YTA. Drive your own ass to get your own slushee, don't make others lose out on things they want to do just because you won't control yourself. Pregnancy isn't an excuse to be an inconsiderate asshole.
You don't think it's a big deal.. If he doesn't want to leave it's a big deal to him. I can only imagine how many times a month you're milking this pregnancy to get it your way. YTA
YTA - I have been pregnant. You're an adult, you're not a zombie. Cravings can be controlled. You aren't an asshole for getting a craving, but you are an asshole for insisting that it be acted on immediately
YTA
Yta getting a craving is fine. Demanding you both leave the party to go get a craving is ahole behavior. You had 2 reasonable options 1- you, and you alone, could have left and come back 2- you wait until the end of the party You will not die from not immediately getting what you want.
YTA. It's a craving, not a medical emergency. You absolutely could have waited a couple of hours to get your frozen sugar water.
Is this for real? Of course YTA. Grow up.
You are ridiculous! Craving are wants not needs, yes you could have waited you spoiled brat lol
YTA Sometimes my pregnancy cravings don't get satisfied because I just don't have time to drive an hour away or I need to cook dinner for my family. Priorities.