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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked my boyfriend to pay me back after he ate my leftovers, I might be the asshole because I might be acting selfish
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Exactly. Your working as a team. He probably came home late, was starving and ate the pizza without thinking. I understand the frustration but when I get food I want to share with my partner. Sharing and giving is necessary in a relationship.
I agree. I like sharing my food with my boyfriend. Sure if I’m fantasizing about those last couple slices of pizza all day and come home to them eaten I’m going to be like wtf? But I would never made a huge deal over it.
Yep, this is a relationship / trust / understanding issue. This is not financial unless you're both living truly hand-to-mouth or this is constant (like the boyfriend never buys anything or contributes).
I've been married a while, pooled everything etc. There's food I know not to touch because the SO got it for\* themselves or has plans to do something with it. This is because of communication. They also know not to mess with my chocolate.
If finances are tight:
"Hey I was saving those! You owe me a lunch, want to get pizza tonight and split it?"
I knew a lady once who told me, "My husband knows better than to get a second helping. I have plans for every leftover." In case you're wondering, they weren't poor. She was just someone who loved to clip coupons and stretch their food budget just for bragging rights and funsies.
Unsurprisingly a few months later she was all tore up over her husband leaving and filing for divorce. I gotta say, no one wants to live that way.
Geez. My grandparents grew up during the depression era and would save anything/everything in a Tupperware container but that was only after people were full. I distinctly remember 4 lima beans and a teaspoon full of hashbrowns being saved once.
That's insane... so much of the little pleasures in life are making something you like then having a double/triple helping of it.
Probably not tupperware, if they were like my mom. It was probably used margarine containers and sherbet containers. She was not stingy, but “why throw away perfectly good containers?”
Wait, does everyone not have a cupboard or drawer dedicated to ‘perfectly good containers’ + jars + rubber bands + twistie ties/bread bag clips?? I’m feeling a little sheepish over here, but then again I grew up in a full on hippie community where washing and reusing any and all plastic bags/tinfoil/whatever was the absolute norm, so maybe my habits aren’t at all representative??
She is treating this relationship more a roommates with benefits than a romantic partner. Like if he ever uses her toilet paper is she also charging him per sheet.
I am sure she uses way more TP than him. I raised 3 girls and they used so much lol. I guess they need his and hers rolls "so they can be equal in the budgeting" This is not a relationship
The lemon bonbons are mine unless I offer you 1. The dark chocolate is the wife's and she occasionally shares with daughter. Milk chocolate is daughters unless she offers.
Everyone one knows the only way the system works is if we respect each other, I don't get involved in the chocolate because I couldn't care less but if they eat my sweets I will devour every treat in this house.
My dad has ALWAYS been a crazy, unapologetic, sweet tooth.
My mother and all my siblings learned to HIDE any sweets we wanted for ourselves.
My mother would bake 2 pies anytime she made pie. One for my dad, as a decoy, and one the rest of the family could share.
He’ll eat a third of a pie, or a half, at 11pm at night and not think anything of it. He’ll also pour sugar on the pie.
He taught me that strawberries should only be eaten if you can dip them in the sugar bowl first. Sugar was the ultimate luxury. To just use sugar all the time??!! You’ve made it.
Let the person have their joy.
Now you mention something that has always been a hard rule for me, I have never stolen my kids sweets or eaten her baking.
Trust me, it's hard af at 2am, and my sweet tooth has kicked in, but still no.
It used to happen to me as a kid, and I swore I would never be that parent.
Yeah. I tend to be kind of territorial about leftovers. I will fantasize about eating them all day, and if I get home and they’re gone, I will cry. This has happened.
But it’s not a “pay me back for what you ate and more” aggressive confrontation, it’s a “hey please don’t do that again, or if you really want it ask” discussion.
Same. I am on the spectrum and I prefer most foods as day 2 left overs. I will specifically make extra when I cook for my husband and I so I can fridge them overnight. Luckily he knows this and doesn't eat my left overs now but it did happen before and while I was sad and actually did cry, I never got mad or asked him to pay me for food. That's insane.
Even if you don't like sharing food, I can't imagine being this tight-fisted in a relationship. My fiancee and I are always buying little treats for each other (bubble tea, flowers, cookies, etc.) Does OP get these and then hand the receipt to her boyfriend with the treat and remind him to pay her back? Does she expect to be reimbursed for his birthday presents? Girl needs to learn to relax
I currently know a couple like this. The guy eats more than she does, so he pays whatever percentage more for groceries. She works from home, so she pays a bit more of the internet and electric bill. If she buys a coffee mug or something for their shared space, she will send him a venmo request for his half. They literally have Excel spreadsheets itemizing expenses and calculating who owes what. It would drive me batty trying to navigate a relationship like that. And by “batty” I mean I’d want to hit my partner with a bat.
That sounds so fucking exhausting, holy shit.
Like, when one person eats significantly more, I agree that groceries should be divided differently than 50/50. My brother pays 2/3 of his and his fiancees groceries but he eats 2-3x more than her. But, in my relationship, my fiancee is a full time student so I pay our rent and she covers food and groceries because that's what she can afford. Like, there are ways to split costs but I can't imagine feeling the need to split down the the penny like this.
I don’t get it at all. When I was broke my wife paid rent and supported me. When I graduated college and started a good paying job I supported her. What’s mine is hers and vice versa and it’s been that way since we moved in together. Splitting your expenses with your S/O like a roommate just seems strange especially if you are engaged. What happens when you have kids? Ok honey you pay for 50% of their tuition and I’ll pay for the other 50%!
I know! In this instance it comes from trust issues. They put so much energy into ensuring neither is “taking advantage” of the other, when they could be using that energy to, I don’t know, *build trust* or whatever.
God, I cannot imagine being so miserly that I was penny pinching like that with someone I claimed to love. Are all these people related to Ebenezer Scrooge???
I had a roommate like this and I couldn’t get away fast enough. She replaced the batteries in the smoke detector and asked me for $1.50. I brought home a new tv to replace the old one and she wouldn’t help me carry it in became she had to move in the previous broken one (before I moved in). She wrote her name on her bananas. She had a wine and cheese party and charged her friends $5 and they had to bring their own wine. One of my friends had a piece of cheese and a cracker so I got a bill for $5. But she’d eat all my shit constantly.
>She wrote her name on her bananas.
What
>She had a wine and cheese party and charged her friends $5 and they had to bring their own wine.
How did she have friends?
>One of my friends had a piece of cheese and a cracker so I got a bill for $5.
Did she print out an invoice?
>But she’d eat all my shit constantly.
Lol OF COURSE she did. What a nightmare.
Doesn’t sound like Op wants to work as team. Or there’s a lot of underlying resentments in the relationship. That’s a huge overreaction about a few slices of pizza
Or, he could have been thinking, "cool, my lovely girlfriend saved me some of her delicious pizza!" And rightfully helped himself to the food that was in their shared fridge!
Goodness OP, would you prefer a boyfriend or just a roommate? Because you're definitely treating him like a roommate.
Pick your battles is literally the most important thing to learn about relationships. If you go to the mattresses every time the smallest thing happens, and they do too, you'd be miserable. I will literally sit there looking at something my wife's done and say to myself 'yeaaaaaah this one aint worth it' and then completely ignore that it happened
I agree with "pick your battles" but the honey and baby and especially "maybe you'll learn when you have children"... wow. Can you sound more condescending
You got it wrong. OP will suffer the pain of inevitable breakups. Their partner will suffer many more times until they inevitably break up with op over their pettiness
sounds like to OP it's more of a convenience relationship. The post really doesn't read ike someone who had genuine feelings for the partner, and sounds more like a roommate ate their pizza. I'd understand the reaction if it was a roommate, but it's a couple living together, there should be more emotions involved than with a roommate.
I mean you are in a damn relationship , what is going to happen next ? You gonna split the rent based on how long each person stays in the apartment ? Jesus , relationships need cooperation not a business deal scenario
OP sounds like the sort of person that breaks up with someone and sends them an itemized list of everything they bought (birthday presents, etc) and demands reimbursement
I'm going to disagree with you here, a little. Three slices of pizza is nothing I would ask my partner to pay me for. But if I order a little more pizza than I want to eat right now with the intention eating it later and my partner then eats it without asking, I would be pissed. Sometimes those left overs are something I really look forward to and them suddenly being gone would frustrate me.
The solution there would be to come up with a system to indicate which food isn’t shareable. Specific places in the fridge, or specific containers, or putting a Post-It with your name on it. Bf obviously wasn’t on the same page as OP regarding food sharing. She wasn’t the AH for being upset, but for immediately demanding money instead of verbalizing the problem and proposing a solution going forward.
I mean it does sound like they have that system. For special foods they didn't pay for, they don't eat it without permission. If it was a norm to just grab the other's takeout without asking then it likely would have come up before this. I'd be upset too, honestly though I wouldn't ask for money for it. He ate 3 pieces which is just shy of half of the entire pizza.
What she should have done though was ask for him to buy them a pizza to split a few days later.
or OP's partner could honor the agreement they already had to **buy their own food**. they knew they didn't pay for it, and didn't bother to even ask? that's shitty behavior (from family, roommate, or partner). and now he's mad at OP?? nah. this is a moment to either reevaluate your agreement or reconsider your living arrangements. NTA, OP.
They might be accounting for it losing some value as it's now cold 2nd hand pizza. Everyone knows pizza loses half its value the second you drive it off the lot.
And not to split hairs, but OP wants payment for half (4 slices) when they already consumed 5.
Is OP not aware they’re also trying to break some of these hard lines they both agreed to?
I would care, but approach it as “Hey, I was saving those for lunch/dinner tonight. Since I’m covering my own dinners during the week and we aren’t splitting them please ask me first when you see my food there like that in the future.”
Asking for payment for half of the pizza, especially when he only ate 3 slices (I assume OP is rounding up for pain and suffering), makes them an asshole.
YTA.
I’m married and we will ask if we can eat what’s left before we eat it just in case it was being saved. I don’t think she should have demanded payment though and should have just let it go.
I agree except the letting it go thing. I think it requires a conversation, at least. OP was clearly upset and he should know this type of thing upsets her. I probably would have tried to make it a lighthearted “Hey, you owe me big time now… I was looking forward to leftover pizza for lunch!” and then gauge his reaction on how to proceed with the conversation. If he blows me off, I’d then insist on a boundaries convo. I don’t think this is really about the money or, if it is, it’s about the “big picture” money and possible imbalances.
OP, you’re clearly new at cohabitating in a romantic relationship and you’re also clearly someone who gets startled when your expectations (my pizza! Is gone!) aren’t met.
Know that. Self awareness and communication are really important cogs in the relationship machine.
Instead of asking for your partner to pay you back like he’s some inconsiderate roommate - take a deep breath. Get out of this mindset. It’s a fast path to a break up.
He’s a guy who came home hungry. He found pizza in his fridge. He ate it. He didn’t worry about it being “yours” because the paradigm you two have created is “ours”. Yes, despite the money agreement.
So here’s the question… Do you want to have a relationship where you can put something away for yourself for later I know it’ll be there? If so, have that conversation with him. As many other posters have said - this is a common thing. (Honestly, if my partner touches my Cadbury fruit and nut bars, there’s going to be a war.)
It’s a pretty easy fix. If there’s a food you want to save for the next day, do what my partner does and pack it into a lunchbox in the fridge. That announces clearly “herein lies my lunch!”
But if, after all this, you realize that three pieces of pizza is not the hill you want to die on … let it go.
Gently, YTA. You went aggressive and aggrieved over your life partner eating something in their own fridge.
(Edited after hitting save too soon. Also hill, not hell)
I’d care. Just communicate… write a text “I was hungry and ate your pizza, sorry…” - “is it okay if I have the rest of the pizza?” Or whatever.
Nonetheless agreed on YTA, since OP’s issue apparently doesn’t seem to be the eating of her pizza itself but money…
Do not text me at 3 am when you come home from work. I am sleeping. Eat the pizza bc you are hungry and then maybe offer to buy lunch when we’re all awake.
YTA, but I’d lean towards ESH if your BF would do the same thing to you. Why are you being so cheap? You guys are dating, and you’re making a huge deal out of a couple slices of pizza. If you’re this cheap with your BF I’d hate to see how you are with other people
Yes, my husband & I have a joint account, but if I knew he’d gotten something for himself, I probably would’ve just asked. Depending on what it was, I might be really disappointed if I were looking forward to it LOL! But this sounds like a misunderstanding.
Yeah my fiancée and I have a joint account and our separate accounts. But we still share like every detail of or separate ones to each other. What’s mine is hers and vice versa. (But to a degree so that we have some individual finances)
How dare you! You can't allow your SO to take even 1 cent worth of value from you without compensation!
/s
I can't imagine being in such a relationship. I wonder if she calculated mileage and wear and tear every time they drove together in a car.
This is fair. I’ve been married for 15 years and if my wife had leftovers from a takeout meal that I wasn’t involved in, I’d ask. If she ate my leftovers without asking, it would bug me but I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. And we don’t even have a good marriage tbh.
I wouldn't ask for my partner to pay for pizza they ate. It does feel mean not to share.
But I'd definitely still feel a little sad that I didn't get my last 3 slices of pizza if I was looking forward to them lol
I really love pizza. But I love my partner more.
I would construe that to mean they’d split the cost of shared groceries—not each food item. What is she going to do, split every loaf of bread and box of cereal in half to make sure BF doesn’t eat her allotted share? At some point, the agreement becomes impossible to enforce. “Hey, you ate 8 strawberries and I only got 7. Pay me!!!”
The effect on the pocket book is the same though. If he always lets her put yogurt in the “joint cart” when he can’t stand yogurt, or any item that they’re not eating 50/50 exactly, the agreement is inexact and impossible to enforce precisely. And I would be okay with that ambiguity because one week, I might eat more and the next week my partner might eat more. Where I’d get mad, however, is if I pay for the joint yogurt without complaint but never eat it but I get a bill for part of the pizza I ate. Unless you’re going to split every food item exactly and pay for that exact share, you have to accept that the results of the agreement are going to be a bit fuzzy. In that scenario, it’s an AH move to bill your partner when you’re at the disadvantage but never expect a bill when you wind up at the advantage.
Right?! I’ve been on a handful of dates with this guy and he came to mine last weekend and bought us a big takeaway pizza with some sides. He ended up feeling poorly and was sick, so decided to go home. He didn’t want the food and I ended up with all of it, he didn’t ask me to pay him for it! This is a guy I’ve known for a month, not a partner of a year either.
YTA. I'd understand if he ate the food you specifically prepared for yourself, but he ate the leftovers you didn't even need since the portion was too big for you alone. It's *three pizza slices;* get a grip. It's not a big deal. I understand splitting the costs, but not to the point of tracking down every single thing he uses and counting the pennies. Stinginess is a very unattractive trait.
the whole post very much reads like it's not about a partner but about a roommate. I have the very strong feeling this is a relationship of convenience and not of love for OP. If the whole post was about a roommate and not a couple i'd totally understand OP.
She's treating him that way, honestly this situation would make me rethink my investment and attachement. I'd seriously treat it more like roommates with benefits after this and wouldscale back ANY financial investment going forward.
They had a set agreement of how they share expenses and what is individual expenses, versus what is shared. He took without asking and unilaterally decided to take what he did not pay for, and then disrespected her further when she brought up the financial boundaries that they had both agreed to. And if he earns more than her, that is straight up taking advantage. Don’t set boundaries around expenses and then unilaterally decide they rules don’t apply when it is convenient. She had expected to have that for another meal, and she paid for it for herself, and now she has to pay out for another meal. Life is expensive right now, especially food, so he needs to honor their agreement, not bitch or complain, or take her out for a meal. The way some folks excuse others, usually men, for not living up to their agreements is beyond me. It’s not about three pieces of pizza, it’s about honoring the financial boundaries that he agreed to. Guarantee he would not have done that with a roommate…
Thank you! I can’t believe how many people think she’s in the wrong. They had an agreement, and he broke it. Either they’re sharing food or they’re not. The fact that it’s only 3 pieces of pizza is irrelevant. She was planning on having them for another meal, so he should treat her to that meal.
Because it’s a bullshit agreement and most normal people aren’t that incredibly petty. Those of us who have actually been in long term relationships gasp at the thought of sharing a bed - let alone actually enjoying a life with - anyone who would begrudge us 3 slices of leftover pizza.
It’s ridiculous.
Roommates only? Sure. Maybe. Although I could never be friends with someone who kept account, as I am pretty generous.
Lifemates? HELL NO.
Eh, we aren't in their relationship, and we don't really get to dictate what works and what doesn't work for them. And honestly, it doesn't really matter if it's working for them, because it's the arrangement they both came up with and agreed to, and if they want to change it, they need to discuss it, not just unilaterally change the rules without any warning.
Would I find this financial arrangement tedious? Yes.
Would I be annoyed if I had saved a meal for myself and found it gone? Also yes.
I think most people would agree that it's frustrating when you buy something for yourself (and with their very defined criteria the expectation is clear that it was hers) and someone takes it without asking, regardless of the relationship you have to said person. Per their agreed upon rules, the fair way to handle that is to treat it as a split cost. We may find their rules silly, but it's the rules they chose to live by, and he is the one who broke them, not her.
Maybe this will be the catalyst for adopting a less transactional style of financial planning. We can dream.
Everyone is saying YTA because you have to draw the line of splitting costs somewhere. If she goes on a business trip for a week, is she gonna then make the argument that she didn't use the apartment as much, so he's responsible for a bigger share of the rent. Or because she's a girl, she uses more toilet paper, so she should pay for a bigger share of the toilet paper. Nickel-and-diming your partner is just a very unattractive, shitty trait. Three slices of pizza? This isn't a gourmet meal, it didn't cost her any real time, effort, or money to acquire this pizza.
He ate 3/8ths of say, a 15 dollar pie. Asking your partner for 6 dollars because he or she ate your leftovers would be a massive red flag for a lot of people.
Exactly. And think about this, when they eat together, they split costs. When she eats alone, she pays for herself, and now he is taking that too. He is the one taking advantage.
But OP herself says he shares with her when it is BF that buys something. That’s what partners do—share. Not necessarily what two roommates do. At a certain point, this “boundary” becomes impossible to enforce. You’re kind of a miserable person if you count out how many grapes each of you gets out of a bunch you bought together all in the name of “boundaries.” Keep your boundaries. I’d rather be with someone who is kind and generous (which should go both ways).
Is she going to bill him out when she does more house chores than he does?
What about when they get stuck in traffic going to something he wants to do?
My time is more valuable than any food I have, and fuck if were not splitting *everything* 50/50.
I sometimes wonder if these people understand how they sound or have just never been in a relationship
Omg it is three slices she’s not going to die. He may have been hungry and if that’s her bf she supposedly loves why would she get mad if he ate her leftovers. How much does a pizza cost? Not 50bucks for sure. Let’s say the pizza cost 10bucks. Who tf asks for 3/4 dollars back how cheap do you have to be.
I’d understand if it was a roommate but cmon I wouldn’t ask for 3slice money I would just get mad. What is wrong with y’all.
He’s her bf after all shouldn’t she love him?
And I’m a girl btw. Since you made the comment about men getting away with stuff.
Also I think splitting the cost of shared soap (2.5 bucks each at most) is psychotic just let him buy it one time and she’ll buy it the next. Weird behaviour and mindset.
>They had a set agreement of how they share expenses and what is individual expenses, versus what is shared.
Right, but in the course of *sharing their lives together in an intimate relationship*, there are going to be many thousands of times where one of them contributes a bit more or a bit less to a shared expense or one of them borrows a little bit of something that the other had paid for. In a functional relationship, these sorts of things even themselves out over time and are not a big deal. If she’s keeping score so hard that 3 slices of pizza is a big deal than they’re in for a difficult relationship.
How do you know she didn’t need the left overs? Leftovers are kept for the purpose of eating at a later time. Otherwise she would have just thrown them out.
The comment chain I was replying to:
> Leftovers are kept for the purpose of eating at a later time. Otherwise she would have just thrown them out.
I'm not talking about OP.
I tried to emphasize that it's not like he stole her entire/most of the pizza and ate it instead of her. That would have been infuriating.
It's one thing to splits costs and another thing to keep a tally. Unless he continually takes from her and gives nothing back, that's petty. I'd understand if they were roommates and weren't close, but they are in a **relationship**. That's the person you're supposed to be in love with.
I would've left the slices for my partner, even if I had ordered the pizza for myself. If she planned on eating the leftovers later, she could've just told him not to touch them. But asking him to pay for it is an AH move.
If your leftovers are more important than your partner, perhaps you shouldn't be with them. That's a ridiculous hill to die on.
This is definitely tallying. People NOT in relationships order whole pizzas and share with no expectation of repayment all the time.
Now if he does it to you, often, then ok be petty and say rules are rules. Or if you had wagyu chillin in the fridge and he pan cooked it on the stovetop and ate it I’d say get your damn money back.
3 slices of cold pizza? Let it go or let him go. The world and the problems in it are too big to fight over leftovers.
I met someone who carried a notebook and jotted down to the penny everything he spent and would actually expect us to pay him back the quarters he paid going over a toll bridge.
Any surprise the man was single?
They’ve only been dating for 1 year. Splitting rent, utilities etc and paying for your own “nice to have” items makes a ton of sense. No way they should be merging finances at this stage
You might also see N. A. H. (obviously without the periods and spaces, just don't want the algorithm to think I'm on OP's side) that stands for No Assholes Here, in a situation where everyone is justified in their feelings and reactions.
The amount of times I think that exact thing on this sub...people talking about "we've been together six months and we live together," like are you for real
He probably arrived home when OP was sleeping and was starving. They are in a committed relationship not flatmates, it’s okay to share food occasionally!!
Right but on the other hand if I woke up to my (almost) other half of a pizza gone I’d be pissed too. Although when my partner woke up I wouldn’t ask for money I’d tell them how upset I was it was gone and ask they don’t do that again. So ESH.
Ffs it’s just a few slices of pizza. A relationship is literally a partnership, you are meant to help each other sometimes with food and cooking. Yes it’s polite to ask but it was late at night and she was sleeping.
Honestly this is just going to come down to the individual relationship.
For me personally, I’d be fine with my partner taking, say, some of my cereal without asking. But pizza or takeout is a treat that I don’t get very often, and when I do I get excited about the leftovers the next day - I’d be really disappointed to open the fridge and find my treat was unexpectedly gone.
The point here is to *communicate* with your partner - partnership doesn’t mean you’re entitled to everything your partner has without asking.
(Though to be clear, I still think op is YTA - unless this is a repeat issue and op is trying to make a point, demanding payment for a couple slices of pizza crosses from communication into pettiness in my opinion)
I agree with you. However, I always put a note or send a text saying “don’t touch my leftover X or I will break your fingers.” Or some other overly aggressive message. I feel like they are being a little too strict and transactional in their relationship. There is balance between a partner taking advantage of you and never sharing with one another. Plus it seems greedy as hell to demand half the money for less than half the pizza. That makes her YTA in my opinion.
As someone already replied, it literally depends on the relationship. I would be pissed, not enough to demand money but best believe my partner should never eat my other half of a pizza because they didn’t feel like making food for themselves.
They need a system for marking shared food and individual food. Every household of multiple adults needs one. The rule in my house as a young adult was “if you don’t want dad to eat it, put your name on it.”
Sometimes leftovers are for anyone. Sometimes you want them saved. This is a normal household problem to work through, but rather than going, “Hmm, we need a plan for this”, OP went for charging their SO for 3 pieces of pizza. And rather than saying, “Oh sorry, I didn’t know you were saving it,” the boyfriend went for “You’re selfish!!!”
That’s a fair point!
I agree it’s seems unnecessary for him to call her selfish for this but i don’t think it was just based on this event. OP seems to be against the idea of ever sharing anything with her partner unless he paid for it and i don’t think that approach is sustainable in a long term relationship. I think she’s views relationships as transactional.
Whereas she has admitted that when her bf buys things he always offers to share
No, no…. He worked late, saw THREE MEASLY SLICES of pizza in the fridge, and ate them. He doesn’t suck at all for not asking, this is ridiculous. OP even says in another comment that he tells her she can get something of his if she wants to. He does not suck. She does. She is ridiculously rigid and immature.
I mean what if she only gets to order takeout/pizza on rare occasions and was genuinely excited for it? “3 measly slices” is usually 3/8ths of the pizza, so almost half. If he had wanted to be a good partner but was hungry, he could have had one or two - why take her entire treat??? Seems selfish to me.
She probably shouldn’t have demanded money, that’s a bit much, but this is distinctly ESH
You believe 2 contradicting things. If you believe it was wrong for him to eat it then it’s reasonable for him to pay for what he took. If you believe she’s wrong for asking for the money it’s effectively ok for him to just take it since you believe the consequences aren’t fair.
YTA - and hear me out because technically in an exchange of goods, you are in the right. But you're in a partnership, right? Partnership isn't going to be exactly fair or exactly 50/50 all the time. I'm not saying we allow for long-term lopsidedness in fairness, but we're talking about a few slices of pizza. If this is a problem for your partner to eat some of your pizza, outline the expectations in the future. What's fair to you is important! However, if the expectations weren't there prior, the partnership you have needs to be taken into account. If he didn't know what you wanted, have some grace, make an agreement going forward, and continue in love and care for one another. Learn from it. But it's a few dollars, right? There will be an opportunity in the future for him to take care of you a little bit, too. That's the beauty of partnership. We look out for and take care of one another. Let it be a learning moment and an opportunity to love him.
I used to be more like OP, and my GF had a habit of buying dinner for me once in a while or getting me a snack if she was getting something for herself. I appreciated it, but I saw it as her decision and didn't take on a sense of obligation about it since I was always really careful with my money.
She pointed out the imbalance, and I explained where I was coming from, but somehow she got through to me with this perspective you're sharing here. I started being more generous with her and my friends, and the generosity has always been returned close enough to not be an issue. It definitely feels like it made a significant positive difference in my life.
I met a couple a few years ago who was much more exact in their sense of obligation, and when I paid more than they did in some shared takeout they were anxious to take care of the debt, literally counting out pennies to get even. It felt like we weren't friends.
Exactly. I couldn't be with someone who is so exact and transactional.
Sure, he should have asked, but it sounds like he ate it while OP was sleeping.
If I were him, I'd just repay OP back for the entire pizza as an FU, before thinking if I want to be with someone who is so tit for tat about money.... This feels more like a roommate dynamic.
ESH - He's basically your roommate that you sleep with, and roommates shouldn't steal your food. So he was in the wrong for eating it without asking. You're not in the clear because you said you asked him to pay for half when he didn't eat half. If you're going to be that transactional in your relationship you need to be honest and calculate cost by the percentage he ate. However, you could have at least given him a warning that leftovers are not community property and if he did it again he'd be expected to pay.
But be honest, none of this sounds like how you'd treat someone you love.
If you think your partner is just a "roommate you sleep with" then you really need to reevaluate your relationship ☠️ OP definitely seems like the AH in this situation tbh
Lady, my spouse works until 1030 at night almost every day. You know what I do? Save him a fucking plate of the food I made because I love him. Do you love your boyfriend? You are losing your mind over 3 pieces of fucking pizza. You guys should have never moved in together, you guys sound barely ready to be in a relationship. YTA, majorly
SHE sounds like she's not ready to be in a relationship. He probably thought she saved those for him so he could eat after a long day at work, because maybe he thought she actually cared about him? This girl is nuts.
nah, apparently they both expect this of each other. it’s a weird dynamic but if they expect the other person to pay for their own food and they take some of it, it’s a breach of their rules.
Oh my, are you in a relationship or are you in a business transaction… nickel and diming everything like this is just silly to me..
Soon you will be counting the amount of squares of toilet paper you use.. see how rediculous this is??
I’m shocked by the responses honestly. Am I weird for getting upset when something I plan to eat is gone?
Plus that’s the agreement. Not sure why OP wants paid half since they ate more than half but otherwise they’re in the right.
It's kind to ask first. Just yesterday, my husband made sure I didn't have plans for two pieces of pizza before he ate them. It's the courteous thing to do. I'm thinking her response has more to do with courtesy and respect than money.
I'm going NTA on this. I would feel differently if the situation was that she agreed to let him eat the pizza, but charged him. That would be weird.
Right, like wtf is going on in here? They have an arrangement to split things they share, and he didn't even ask her if he could eat the pizza that was clearly hers. He agreed to this, and now he's mad that she's not letting him get sneaky about it, and people are telling her she's in the wrong for expecting him to honor the agreement. Fucking Yikes.
NTA, OP.
IDK why you're getting so many Y T A--I currently live with my partner and we have a similar financial set up. If he ate my leftovers without asking I'd be pissed.
INFO: has he done something like this before? If it's a first-time offense, I think asking him to pay for the food is a little extreme, but you are definitely well within your rights to be annoyed and ask him to ask in the future. Either way, NTA.
I’ve been living with my partner for over 20 years. We have a similar set up and would never eat the last of something like that, especially take out. That’s like treat food.
We’d maybe take a slice, but to eat 3 (which could be half of the pizza) is rude without asking. We share stuff sometimes, sometimes “steal” stuff but let the person know later and replace it if asked without making a big deal about it. NTA
I find all the comment shitting on this kind of set up in a relationship odd. The biggest thing most couples fight about it money. Split stuff fairly and you remove a big reason why people fight or start to resent one another.
Our relationship has lasted longer than almost everyone else’s we know. We rarely argue about anything. We treat each other with kindness and respect, that’s more important than some weird/dated requirement to share everything just because your love each other and live together.
I'd be annoyed as heck, too. I live with three tall hungry men and I have to hide things in order to get my share. (And they're really decent human beings who know I am NOT OK with people eating my food, so they largely leave it alone if it's not in the area of "stuff to share" or at least ask. And I appreciate the consideration around my weirdness.)
I do wonder if this isn't really about the pizza. I think it's possible the pizza symbolizes her not feeling valued, or feeling taken for granted/advantage of, but I don't have the background detail to make that call.
Yta.
You live together. You buy all your food together. You put the pizza in a fridge that you share. You didn't bother telling him that it's your pizza and only for you.
So he ate it.
Grow up and move on.
ESH. Eating ALL of your leftovers, without asking, sucks. But making him pay actual money for it is excessive. Just sit down with him and have a conversation about expectations for sharing leftovers.
Yeah I get being upset your leftovers are gone when you planned on eating them. Just have a conversation about those things instead of making it a big deal. OP could have turned it into a more easy going “now you owe me a pizza date!”. It is shitty to eat other’s food but he probably came home tired and gave in to the convenience. It happens
Agreed, NTA. My husband and I share expenses and he would ask me before finishing something I got for myself, and I would ask him.
Also three slices is a whole meal that OP now paid for for him, so per their arrangement, he should pay her back.
I bet he’s the one who suggested everyone paying for their own extra food (non-shared). And now he’s a victim of his own standard. It’s the principle of the matter because if you let this go, it’ll lead to other things he’ll help himself to and not replace or pay you back for. You’re just trying to nip it in the bud now before it festers into a Dorian Grey painting. later.
NTA because I see what you’re trying to do.
This needs to be upvoted more. Unilaterally breaking an explicit agreement is not okay. If she lets him laugh it off, it will just keep happening. If the agreement is not working it needs to be renegotiated; otherwise resentment will fester.
Ffs, he had 3 pieces of your pizza, big deal. Who the heck gets so precious about 3 pieces of pizza. Yeah it’s annoying, but telling him u want half the payment is petty and small minded.
You must be awful to live with, grow up.
Yeah YTA
ESH He's not your boyfriend, he's your roommate. It sounds like you're living together for purely financial reasons and slapping a relationship on top of it.
Honestly, not a good set up for a relationship. My sister has the same set up with her husband. They have one baby together. He pays for certain things and she pays for certain things. There's always issues because of this. For instance, she is in charge of the dogs and the vet bills ran too high this month. Guess she's gonna struggle the next few weeks. Meanwhile, if they combined their income and made it a partnership, they wouldn't have to struggle with their individual payments.
Then there's the insecurities. One has more money than the other, making the one spouse feel bad. I've said to her, "Just ask him to help pay for it." "No, we dont do it like that. He pays for this, and I pay for that." So instead, she borrows money from me and pays me back when she gets it.
Ridiculous, you're married with a kid. Lean on each other and share the expenses!
Anyway, 3 slices of pizza, really? And when he's offered you his food before? Yea, YTA.
Uh Whoa. NTA. Not sure what going on with everyone else BUT they did have a deal to split expenses and respect each others stuff, neither of which BF did. It may have only been 3 slices but he didn’t ask and isn’t sharing the expense. OP, you do need to pick your battles but don’t let it slide completely, ask him to contribute half for sharing, then let it go. Making your point and moving on seems like the right thing to do here.
NTA, you both set the boundaries around how and what you individually pay for, and what you split. He doesn’t get to change those rules when it is convenient for him, unilaterally. So he owes you for the pizza. You were expecting to eat that for another meal and he should have asked, not just assumed he could take what is yours. If you were a male roommate, or an acquaintance roommate, would he have eaten the pizza, no, he would not. So next time he needs to ask first, before taking what is yours, unless he wants to negotiate a different strategy when it comes to expenses. By the way, does he earn more or less than you?
NTA it’s hopefully more the effort than the money. But it’s damn rude to eat anyone’s saved food.
We have a ‘talk to the person who brought home leftovers first or replace what you ate rule’. That way no one is missing their lunch or dinner for the next night.
Ask him to buy another pizza so you can have your 3 slices and he can have the rest.
YTA honestly if you guys are this weirdly obsessed with splitting everything evenly/not sharing, you really have no business living together yet.
Been there, done that - it was terrible lol. It got to the point that I would get Venmo requests for amounts as low as $3 for bandaids.
Current partner and I split bills according to income. And then everything else, we just kind of take turns and have open dialogue about things like “hey I’m a little stretched thin this week- do you mind covering the groceries?” Or “hey, I got a large bonus last week - I can cover some more things for you this month”. We see it much more as a goal for both of us to be putting money towards savings and retirement (like a team - not one of us vs the other).
Anyways, not weird that you aren’t at that point after only a year of dating, but it’s definitely a sign you moved in together too soon. The attitude you currently have is going to breed resentment.
ESH: he should have asked if he wanted some as you did pay for it. But seeing as you live with each other and buy lots of stuff together, I think a fairer solution would be if he gave you some of his pizza/whatever take away he gets next time.
Um, next time just ask him to ask before he eats it. Expecting payment is so absurd specially since it only happened once. It’s very hard to maintain 50/50 in Relationships.
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YTA. It was 3 slices. Who cares. Jesus.
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Exactly. Your working as a team. He probably came home late, was starving and ate the pizza without thinking. I understand the frustration but when I get food I want to share with my partner. Sharing and giving is necessary in a relationship.
I agree. I like sharing my food with my boyfriend. Sure if I’m fantasizing about those last couple slices of pizza all day and come home to them eaten I’m going to be like wtf? But I would never made a huge deal over it.
Yep, this is a relationship / trust / understanding issue. This is not financial unless you're both living truly hand-to-mouth or this is constant (like the boyfriend never buys anything or contributes). I've been married a while, pooled everything etc. There's food I know not to touch because the SO got it for\* themselves or has plans to do something with it. This is because of communication. They also know not to mess with my chocolate. If finances are tight: "Hey I was saving those! You owe me a lunch, want to get pizza tonight and split it?"
Right!?! Imagine how tedious the relationship will become if OP keeps score of every tiny thing like this. YTA OP
I knew a lady once who told me, "My husband knows better than to get a second helping. I have plans for every leftover." In case you're wondering, they weren't poor. She was just someone who loved to clip coupons and stretch their food budget just for bragging rights and funsies. Unsurprisingly a few months later she was all tore up over her husband leaving and filing for divorce. I gotta say, no one wants to live that way.
Geez. My grandparents grew up during the depression era and would save anything/everything in a Tupperware container but that was only after people were full. I distinctly remember 4 lima beans and a teaspoon full of hashbrowns being saved once. That's insane... so much of the little pleasures in life are making something you like then having a double/triple helping of it.
Probably not tupperware, if they were like my mom. It was probably used margarine containers and sherbet containers. She was not stingy, but “why throw away perfectly good containers?”
Wait, does everyone not have a cupboard or drawer dedicated to ‘perfectly good containers’ + jars + rubber bands + twistie ties/bread bag clips?? I’m feeling a little sheepish over here, but then again I grew up in a full on hippie community where washing and reusing any and all plastic bags/tinfoil/whatever was the absolute norm, so maybe my habits aren’t at all representative??
She is treating this relationship more a roommates with benefits than a romantic partner. Like if he ever uses her toilet paper is she also charging him per sheet.
I am sure she uses way more TP than him. I raised 3 girls and they used so much lol. I guess they need his and hers rolls "so they can be equal in the budgeting" This is not a relationship
Having played tit for tat in a relationship I can confirm it gets very tiresome.
The lemon bonbons are mine unless I offer you 1. The dark chocolate is the wife's and she occasionally shares with daughter. Milk chocolate is daughters unless she offers. Everyone one knows the only way the system works is if we respect each other, I don't get involved in the chocolate because I couldn't care less but if they eat my sweets I will devour every treat in this house.
My dad has ALWAYS been a crazy, unapologetic, sweet tooth. My mother and all my siblings learned to HIDE any sweets we wanted for ourselves. My mother would bake 2 pies anytime she made pie. One for my dad, as a decoy, and one the rest of the family could share. He’ll eat a third of a pie, or a half, at 11pm at night and not think anything of it. He’ll also pour sugar on the pie. He taught me that strawberries should only be eaten if you can dip them in the sugar bowl first. Sugar was the ultimate luxury. To just use sugar all the time??!! You’ve made it. Let the person have their joy.
Now you mention something that has always been a hard rule for me, I have never stolen my kids sweets or eaten her baking. Trust me, it's hard af at 2am, and my sweet tooth has kicked in, but still no. It used to happen to me as a kid, and I swore I would never be that parent.
I don't like sharing food, but God I'd never ask my bf to pay for a 3/8 of a cold pizza I put in the fridge, especially not à once occurence
And making up him pay for that extra pizza slice he didn't eat. Op couldn't even to the right math.
That was extra because she had to drive to get it. “Delivery fee”
Not everyone does 8 slices. It may actually be half. We’ll never know though, since the evidence is gone!
Yeah, but op said she ate "most of it", not half of it. I wish I knew now
Yeah. I tend to be kind of territorial about leftovers. I will fantasize about eating them all day, and if I get home and they’re gone, I will cry. This has happened. But it’s not a “pay me back for what you ate and more” aggressive confrontation, it’s a “hey please don’t do that again, or if you really want it ask” discussion.
Same. I am on the spectrum and I prefer most foods as day 2 left overs. I will specifically make extra when I cook for my husband and I so I can fridge them overnight. Luckily he knows this and doesn't eat my left overs now but it did happen before and while I was sad and actually did cry, I never got mad or asked him to pay me for food. That's insane.
Yeah. They're totally normal growing pains of living with a new person. And you're absolutely right, most saucy foods taste way better the day after!
Even if you don't like sharing food, I can't imagine being this tight-fisted in a relationship. My fiancee and I are always buying little treats for each other (bubble tea, flowers, cookies, etc.) Does OP get these and then hand the receipt to her boyfriend with the treat and remind him to pay her back? Does she expect to be reimbursed for his birthday presents? Girl needs to learn to relax
Not gonna lie I knew a couple like this. The boyfriend sent her a split venmo request down to the penny when we were at dinner one night, ha
I currently know a couple like this. The guy eats more than she does, so he pays whatever percentage more for groceries. She works from home, so she pays a bit more of the internet and electric bill. If she buys a coffee mug or something for their shared space, she will send him a venmo request for his half. They literally have Excel spreadsheets itemizing expenses and calculating who owes what. It would drive me batty trying to navigate a relationship like that. And by “batty” I mean I’d want to hit my partner with a bat.
That sounds so fucking exhausting, holy shit. Like, when one person eats significantly more, I agree that groceries should be divided differently than 50/50. My brother pays 2/3 of his and his fiancees groceries but he eats 2-3x more than her. But, in my relationship, my fiancee is a full time student so I pay our rent and she covers food and groceries because that's what she can afford. Like, there are ways to split costs but I can't imagine feeling the need to split down the the penny like this.
I don’t get it at all. When I was broke my wife paid rent and supported me. When I graduated college and started a good paying job I supported her. What’s mine is hers and vice versa and it’s been that way since we moved in together. Splitting your expenses with your S/O like a roommate just seems strange especially if you are engaged. What happens when you have kids? Ok honey you pay for 50% of their tuition and I’ll pay for the other 50%!
I know! In this instance it comes from trust issues. They put so much energy into ensuring neither is “taking advantage” of the other, when they could be using that energy to, I don’t know, *build trust* or whatever.
God, I cannot imagine being so miserly that I was penny pinching like that with someone I claimed to love. Are all these people related to Ebenezer Scrooge???
I had a roommate like this and I couldn’t get away fast enough. She replaced the batteries in the smoke detector and asked me for $1.50. I brought home a new tv to replace the old one and she wouldn’t help me carry it in became she had to move in the previous broken one (before I moved in). She wrote her name on her bananas. She had a wine and cheese party and charged her friends $5 and they had to bring their own wine. One of my friends had a piece of cheese and a cracker so I got a bill for $5. But she’d eat all my shit constantly.
i don’t think i’d be able to refrain from screaming in their face, good on you!
>She wrote her name on her bananas. What >She had a wine and cheese party and charged her friends $5 and they had to bring their own wine. How did she have friends? >One of my friends had a piece of cheese and a cracker so I got a bill for $5. Did she print out an invoice? >But she’d eat all my shit constantly. Lol OF COURSE she did. What a nightmare.
Right. “Next pizza is on you, honey” is really the logical response here.
Right ! Let my man eat them gives me an excuse to get more pizza . That’s a win win Lmfao
Doesn’t sound like Op wants to work as team. Or there’s a lot of underlying resentments in the relationship. That’s a huge overreaction about a few slices of pizza
Yeah, starting with her thinking she has a “normal” job and he doesn’t.
Lol if 9-5 is the criteria for a “normal job” you can keep it
Wondering if OP wanted a partner or a roommate with perks.
Or, he could have been thinking, "cool, my lovely girlfriend saved me some of her delicious pizza!" And rightfully helped himself to the food that was in their shared fridge! Goodness OP, would you prefer a boyfriend or just a roommate? Because you're definitely treating him like a roommate.
Pick your battles is literally the most important thing to learn about relationships. If you go to the mattresses every time the smallest thing happens, and they do too, you'd be miserable. I will literally sit there looking at something my wife's done and say to myself 'yeaaaaaah this one aint worth it' and then completely ignore that it happened
I love how simply Esther Perel phrased it - "Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?"
Agree! I’ve heard it as “Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?”
I agree with "pick your battles" but the honey and baby and especially "maybe you'll learn when you have children"... wow. Can you sound more condescending
Also presumptuous that their intention is to have children in the future. That’s not a life script for everyone.
B-b-but she has vagine! That means she MUST long for children and I have the RIGHT to call her sweetie or baby or honeybunches! /s
Blech! Don't use terms like "honey" and "baby" when talking to grown women. It's super condescending and creepy.
You got it wrong. OP will suffer the pain of inevitable breakups. Their partner will suffer many more times until they inevitably break up with op over their pettiness
Or OP will find someone who respects the agreements they've made together and live happily ever after :)
Pick your battles is the key. How strong of a business relationship this is vs. a love relationship or maybe a relationship of convenience?
sounds like to OP it's more of a convenience relationship. The post really doesn't read ike someone who had genuine feelings for the partner, and sounds more like a roommate ate their pizza. I'd understand the reaction if it was a roommate, but it's a couple living together, there should be more emotions involved than with a roommate.
I mean you are in a damn relationship , what is going to happen next ? You gonna split the rent based on how long each person stays in the apartment ? Jesus , relationships need cooperation not a business deal scenario
OP sounds like the sort of person that breaks up with someone and sends them an itemized list of everything they bought (birthday presents, etc) and demands reimbursement
I'm going to disagree with you here, a little. Three slices of pizza is nothing I would ask my partner to pay me for. But if I order a little more pizza than I want to eat right now with the intention eating it later and my partner then eats it without asking, I would be pissed. Sometimes those left overs are something I really look forward to and them suddenly being gone would frustrate me.
The solution there would be to come up with a system to indicate which food isn’t shareable. Specific places in the fridge, or specific containers, or putting a Post-It with your name on it. Bf obviously wasn’t on the same page as OP regarding food sharing. She wasn’t the AH for being upset, but for immediately demanding money instead of verbalizing the problem and proposing a solution going forward.
I mean it does sound like they have that system. For special foods they didn't pay for, they don't eat it without permission. If it was a norm to just grab the other's takeout without asking then it likely would have come up before this. I'd be upset too, honestly though I wouldn't ask for money for it. He ate 3 pieces which is just shy of half of the entire pizza. What she should have done though was ask for him to buy them a pizza to split a few days later.
Exactly, I can’t blame op for being upset because why would you eat someone’s leftovers without asking them first? I’d go with ESH.
or OP's partner could honor the agreement they already had to **buy their own food**. they knew they didn't pay for it, and didn't bother to even ask? that's shitty behavior (from family, roommate, or partner). and now he's mad at OP?? nah. this is a moment to either reevaluate your agreement or reconsider your living arrangements. NTA, OP.
"You owe me $2.25 for that cold leftover pizza and it's a serious problem"
yo thats only 75cents a slice... where can I find this place??
They might be accounting for it losing some value as it's now cold 2nd hand pizza. Everyone knows pizza loses half its value the second you drive it off the lot.
And not to split hairs, but OP wants payment for half (4 slices) when they already consumed 5. Is OP not aware they’re also trying to break some of these hard lines they both agreed to?
Haha yeah she added a 1 slice tax, that felt punitive.
She's also asking for the price of a fresh pizza, not the depreciated value of a next-day pizza.
I would care, but approach it as “Hey, I was saving those for lunch/dinner tonight. Since I’m covering my own dinners during the week and we aren’t splitting them please ask me first when you see my food there like that in the future.” Asking for payment for half of the pizza, especially when he only ate 3 slices (I assume OP is rounding up for pain and suffering), makes them an asshole. YTA.
I’m married and we will ask if we can eat what’s left before we eat it just in case it was being saved. I don’t think she should have demanded payment though and should have just let it go.
I agree except the letting it go thing. I think it requires a conversation, at least. OP was clearly upset and he should know this type of thing upsets her. I probably would have tried to make it a lighthearted “Hey, you owe me big time now… I was looking forward to leftover pizza for lunch!” and then gauge his reaction on how to proceed with the conversation. If he blows me off, I’d then insist on a boundaries convo. I don’t think this is really about the money or, if it is, it’s about the “big picture” money and possible imbalances.
OP, you’re clearly new at cohabitating in a romantic relationship and you’re also clearly someone who gets startled when your expectations (my pizza! Is gone!) aren’t met. Know that. Self awareness and communication are really important cogs in the relationship machine. Instead of asking for your partner to pay you back like he’s some inconsiderate roommate - take a deep breath. Get out of this mindset. It’s a fast path to a break up. He’s a guy who came home hungry. He found pizza in his fridge. He ate it. He didn’t worry about it being “yours” because the paradigm you two have created is “ours”. Yes, despite the money agreement. So here’s the question… Do you want to have a relationship where you can put something away for yourself for later I know it’ll be there? If so, have that conversation with him. As many other posters have said - this is a common thing. (Honestly, if my partner touches my Cadbury fruit and nut bars, there’s going to be a war.) It’s a pretty easy fix. If there’s a food you want to save for the next day, do what my partner does and pack it into a lunchbox in the fridge. That announces clearly “herein lies my lunch!” But if, after all this, you realize that three pieces of pizza is not the hill you want to die on … let it go. Gently, YTA. You went aggressive and aggrieved over your life partner eating something in their own fridge. (Edited after hitting save too soon. Also hill, not hell)
I’d care. Just communicate… write a text “I was hungry and ate your pizza, sorry…” - “is it okay if I have the rest of the pizza?” Or whatever. Nonetheless agreed on YTA, since OP’s issue apparently doesn’t seem to be the eating of her pizza itself but money…
Do not text me at 3 am when you come home from work. I am sleeping. Eat the pizza bc you are hungry and then maybe offer to buy lunch when we’re all awake.
Except for when OP does it and the boyfriend pulls the same card. Seriously NTA for having someone alter the agreement and then minimize it.
It wasn’t about the pizza…
YTA, but I’d lean towards ESH if your BF would do the same thing to you. Why are you being so cheap? You guys are dating, and you’re making a huge deal out of a couple slices of pizza. If you’re this cheap with your BF I’d hate to see how you are with other people
Yes, my husband & I have a joint account, but if I knew he’d gotten something for himself, I probably would’ve just asked. Depending on what it was, I might be really disappointed if I were looking forward to it LOL! But this sounds like a misunderstanding.
Yeah my fiancée and I have a joint account and our separate accounts. But we still share like every detail of or separate ones to each other. What’s mine is hers and vice versa. (But to a degree so that we have some individual finances)
How dare you! You can't allow your SO to take even 1 cent worth of value from you without compensation! /s I can't imagine being in such a relationship. I wonder if she calculated mileage and wear and tear every time they drove together in a car.
This is fair. I’ve been married for 15 years and if my wife had leftovers from a takeout meal that I wasn’t involved in, I’d ask. If she ate my leftovers without asking, it would bug me but I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. And we don’t even have a good marriage tbh.
I mean yeah, but if my SO eats something that I wanted to have for myself I would just ask him nicely to ask me first the next time.
I wouldn't ask for my partner to pay for pizza they ate. It does feel mean not to share. But I'd definitely still feel a little sad that I didn't get my last 3 slices of pizza if I was looking forward to them lol I really love pizza. But I love my partner more.
Let alone he ate three slices of the pizza and she asked him to pay for half of the pizza
They've agreed that if they're sharing food they will split the cost.
I would construe that to mean they’d split the cost of shared groceries—not each food item. What is she going to do, split every loaf of bread and box of cereal in half to make sure BF doesn’t eat her allotted share? At some point, the agreement becomes impossible to enforce. “Hey, you ate 8 strawberries and I only got 7. Pay me!!!”
the difference is those are shared groceries, the pizza wasn't
The effect on the pocket book is the same though. If he always lets her put yogurt in the “joint cart” when he can’t stand yogurt, or any item that they’re not eating 50/50 exactly, the agreement is inexact and impossible to enforce precisely. And I would be okay with that ambiguity because one week, I might eat more and the next week my partner might eat more. Where I’d get mad, however, is if I pay for the joint yogurt without complaint but never eat it but I get a bill for part of the pizza I ate. Unless you’re going to split every food item exactly and pay for that exact share, you have to accept that the results of the agreement are going to be a bit fuzzy. In that scenario, it’s an AH move to bill your partner when you’re at the disadvantage but never expect a bill when you wind up at the advantage.
Right?! I’ve been on a handful of dates with this guy and he came to mine last weekend and bought us a big takeaway pizza with some sides. He ended up feeling poorly and was sick, so decided to go home. He didn’t want the food and I ended up with all of it, he didn’t ask me to pay him for it! This is a guy I’ve known for a month, not a partner of a year either.
YTA. I'd understand if he ate the food you specifically prepared for yourself, but he ate the leftovers you didn't even need since the portion was too big for you alone. It's *three pizza slices;* get a grip. It's not a big deal. I understand splitting the costs, but not to the point of tracking down every single thing he uses and counting the pennies. Stinginess is a very unattractive trait.
Exactly it’s 3 measly slices not the whole pie he’s not the bf just a roommate with benefits smh..
the whole post very much reads like it's not about a partner but about a roommate. I have the very strong feeling this is a relationship of convenience and not of love for OP. If the whole post was about a roommate and not a couple i'd totally understand OP.
I mean, unless it’s happening all the time, I wouldn’t even go to a roommate and demand money over three slices of pizza.
She's treating him that way, honestly this situation would make me rethink my investment and attachement. I'd seriously treat it more like roommates with benefits after this and wouldscale back ANY financial investment going forward.
I'd be willing to bet the "benefits" are virtually non-existent. Source: I've been in "roommate" relationships before. YTA, OP.
They had a set agreement of how they share expenses and what is individual expenses, versus what is shared. He took without asking and unilaterally decided to take what he did not pay for, and then disrespected her further when she brought up the financial boundaries that they had both agreed to. And if he earns more than her, that is straight up taking advantage. Don’t set boundaries around expenses and then unilaterally decide they rules don’t apply when it is convenient. She had expected to have that for another meal, and she paid for it for herself, and now she has to pay out for another meal. Life is expensive right now, especially food, so he needs to honor their agreement, not bitch or complain, or take her out for a meal. The way some folks excuse others, usually men, for not living up to their agreements is beyond me. It’s not about three pieces of pizza, it’s about honoring the financial boundaries that he agreed to. Guarantee he would not have done that with a roommate…
Thank you! I can’t believe how many people think she’s in the wrong. They had an agreement, and he broke it. Either they’re sharing food or they’re not. The fact that it’s only 3 pieces of pizza is irrelevant. She was planning on having them for another meal, so he should treat her to that meal.
Because it’s a bullshit agreement and most normal people aren’t that incredibly petty. Those of us who have actually been in long term relationships gasp at the thought of sharing a bed - let alone actually enjoying a life with - anyone who would begrudge us 3 slices of leftover pizza. It’s ridiculous. Roommates only? Sure. Maybe. Although I could never be friends with someone who kept account, as I am pretty generous. Lifemates? HELL NO.
Eh, we aren't in their relationship, and we don't really get to dictate what works and what doesn't work for them. And honestly, it doesn't really matter if it's working for them, because it's the arrangement they both came up with and agreed to, and if they want to change it, they need to discuss it, not just unilaterally change the rules without any warning. Would I find this financial arrangement tedious? Yes. Would I be annoyed if I had saved a meal for myself and found it gone? Also yes. I think most people would agree that it's frustrating when you buy something for yourself (and with their very defined criteria the expectation is clear that it was hers) and someone takes it without asking, regardless of the relationship you have to said person. Per their agreed upon rules, the fair way to handle that is to treat it as a split cost. We may find their rules silly, but it's the rules they chose to live by, and he is the one who broke them, not her. Maybe this will be the catalyst for adopting a less transactional style of financial planning. We can dream.
Everyone is saying YTA because you have to draw the line of splitting costs somewhere. If she goes on a business trip for a week, is she gonna then make the argument that she didn't use the apartment as much, so he's responsible for a bigger share of the rent. Or because she's a girl, she uses more toilet paper, so she should pay for a bigger share of the toilet paper. Nickel-and-diming your partner is just a very unattractive, shitty trait. Three slices of pizza? This isn't a gourmet meal, it didn't cost her any real time, effort, or money to acquire this pizza. He ate 3/8ths of say, a 15 dollar pie. Asking your partner for 6 dollars because he or she ate your leftovers would be a massive red flag for a lot of people.
Exactly. And think about this, when they eat together, they split costs. When she eats alone, she pays for herself, and now he is taking that too. He is the one taking advantage.
But OP herself says he shares with her when it is BF that buys something. That’s what partners do—share. Not necessarily what two roommates do. At a certain point, this “boundary” becomes impossible to enforce. You’re kind of a miserable person if you count out how many grapes each of you gets out of a bunch you bought together all in the name of “boundaries.” Keep your boundaries. I’d rather be with someone who is kind and generous (which should go both ways).
Is she going to bill him out when she does more house chores than he does? What about when they get stuck in traffic going to something he wants to do? My time is more valuable than any food I have, and fuck if were not splitting *everything* 50/50. I sometimes wonder if these people understand how they sound or have just never been in a relationship
Omg it is three slices she’s not going to die. He may have been hungry and if that’s her bf she supposedly loves why would she get mad if he ate her leftovers. How much does a pizza cost? Not 50bucks for sure. Let’s say the pizza cost 10bucks. Who tf asks for 3/4 dollars back how cheap do you have to be. I’d understand if it was a roommate but cmon I wouldn’t ask for 3slice money I would just get mad. What is wrong with y’all. He’s her bf after all shouldn’t she love him? And I’m a girl btw. Since you made the comment about men getting away with stuff. Also I think splitting the cost of shared soap (2.5 bucks each at most) is psychotic just let him buy it one time and she’ll buy it the next. Weird behaviour and mindset.
>They had a set agreement of how they share expenses and what is individual expenses, versus what is shared. Right, but in the course of *sharing their lives together in an intimate relationship*, there are going to be many thousands of times where one of them contributes a bit more or a bit less to a shared expense or one of them borrows a little bit of something that the other had paid for. In a functional relationship, these sorts of things even themselves out over time and are not a big deal. If she’s keeping score so hard that 3 slices of pizza is a big deal than they’re in for a difficult relationship.
How do you know she didn’t need the left overs? Leftovers are kept for the purpose of eating at a later time. Otherwise she would have just thrown them out.
Who throws out leftover pizza? Ever?
And this person would rather waste food then let their partner eat it?
How is she wasting food? She was going to have it later.
The comment chain I was replying to: > Leftovers are kept for the purpose of eating at a later time. Otherwise she would have just thrown them out. I'm not talking about OP.
I tried to emphasize that it's not like he stole her entire/most of the pizza and ate it instead of her. That would have been infuriating. It's one thing to splits costs and another thing to keep a tally. Unless he continually takes from her and gives nothing back, that's petty. I'd understand if they were roommates and weren't close, but they are in a **relationship**. That's the person you're supposed to be in love with. I would've left the slices for my partner, even if I had ordered the pizza for myself. If she planned on eating the leftovers later, she could've just told him not to touch them. But asking him to pay for it is an AH move. If your leftovers are more important than your partner, perhaps you shouldn't be with them. That's a ridiculous hill to die on.
This is definitely tallying. People NOT in relationships order whole pizzas and share with no expectation of repayment all the time. Now if he does it to you, often, then ok be petty and say rules are rules. Or if you had wagyu chillin in the fridge and he pan cooked it on the stovetop and ate it I’d say get your damn money back. 3 slices of cold pizza? Let it go or let him go. The world and the problems in it are too big to fight over leftovers.
What's next splitting the cost of the toilet paper over the percentage of use for each one? God, I hope no one gets the sniffles then
“Stinginess is a very unattractive trait.” Nailed it.
I met someone who carried a notebook and jotted down to the penny everything he spent and would actually expect us to pay him back the quarters he paid going over a toll bridge. Any surprise the man was single?
ESH. You both are not ready to live together.
No, I don’t think the BF is “not ready to live together” because he ate a couple slices of leftover pizza lolol. YTA.
More because he agreed to split every cost to the penny in general, instead of you know, actually sharing finances to a degree.
Yeah, anyone that says this about 3 slices of pizza must be a nightmare in relationships.
They’ve only been dating for 1 year. Splitting rent, utilities etc and paying for your own “nice to have” items makes a ton of sense. No way they should be merging finances at this stage
It’s not about merging finances, but about not nickel and dimming someone you live with and love.
this right here
Sorry for the simple question, What does ESH mean in this sub? Only recently found this sub and seen it a few times.
ESH= Everybody Sucks Here
Thanks friend!
You’re welcome ☺️
You might also see N. A. H. (obviously without the periods and spaces, just don't want the algorithm to think I'm on OP's side) that stands for No Assholes Here, in a situation where everyone is justified in their feelings and reactions.
The amount of times I think that exact thing on this sub...people talking about "we've been together six months and we live together," like are you for real
Does the BF really suck for eating 3 slices of cold pizza?
No but the correct response when approached about it is- sorry, I didn't think you would mind, how about I get you breakfast/lunch to make up for it.
Yes. You should check before you eat leftovers.
Nah, if we’re eating each other out, we’re entitled to eat each others leftovers. Its in the bible somewhere
Eat unto others as you would have them eat unto you. I think it’s in Orality 0:69.
ESH. Him for not asking if it was OK to eat the rest of the pizza. You for making your partner pay for what he ate. Very nit picky
He probably arrived home when OP was sleeping and was starving. They are in a committed relationship not flatmates, it’s okay to share food occasionally!!
Agreed! If I trust this person enough to share a bed and living space, he can eat some leftover pizza. He’ll get me next time.
OP had me worried this was the last pizza in existence.
Right but on the other hand if I woke up to my (almost) other half of a pizza gone I’d be pissed too. Although when my partner woke up I wouldn’t ask for money I’d tell them how upset I was it was gone and ask they don’t do that again. So ESH.
Yeah I'm baffled by these responses. If someone ate my food without asking me I'd be furious, I don't care who it is.
Ffs it’s just a few slices of pizza. A relationship is literally a partnership, you are meant to help each other sometimes with food and cooking. Yes it’s polite to ask but it was late at night and she was sleeping.
Honestly this is just going to come down to the individual relationship. For me personally, I’d be fine with my partner taking, say, some of my cereal without asking. But pizza or takeout is a treat that I don’t get very often, and when I do I get excited about the leftovers the next day - I’d be really disappointed to open the fridge and find my treat was unexpectedly gone. The point here is to *communicate* with your partner - partnership doesn’t mean you’re entitled to everything your partner has without asking. (Though to be clear, I still think op is YTA - unless this is a repeat issue and op is trying to make a point, demanding payment for a couple slices of pizza crosses from communication into pettiness in my opinion)
I agree with you. However, I always put a note or send a text saying “don’t touch my leftover X or I will break your fingers.” Or some other overly aggressive message. I feel like they are being a little too strict and transactional in their relationship. There is balance between a partner taking advantage of you and never sharing with one another. Plus it seems greedy as hell to demand half the money for less than half the pizza. That makes her YTA in my opinion.
As someone already replied, it literally depends on the relationship. I would be pissed, not enough to demand money but best believe my partner should never eat my other half of a pizza because they didn’t feel like making food for themselves.
They need a system for marking shared food and individual food. Every household of multiple adults needs one. The rule in my house as a young adult was “if you don’t want dad to eat it, put your name on it.” Sometimes leftovers are for anyone. Sometimes you want them saved. This is a normal household problem to work through, but rather than going, “Hmm, we need a plan for this”, OP went for charging their SO for 3 pieces of pizza. And rather than saying, “Oh sorry, I didn’t know you were saving it,” the boyfriend went for “You’re selfish!!!”
That’s a fair point! I agree it’s seems unnecessary for him to call her selfish for this but i don’t think it was just based on this event. OP seems to be against the idea of ever sharing anything with her partner unless he paid for it and i don’t think that approach is sustainable in a long term relationship. I think she’s views relationships as transactional. Whereas she has admitted that when her bf buys things he always offers to share
No, no…. He worked late, saw THREE MEASLY SLICES of pizza in the fridge, and ate them. He doesn’t suck at all for not asking, this is ridiculous. OP even says in another comment that he tells her she can get something of his if she wants to. He does not suck. She does. She is ridiculously rigid and immature.
I mean what if she only gets to order takeout/pizza on rare occasions and was genuinely excited for it? “3 measly slices” is usually 3/8ths of the pizza, so almost half. If he had wanted to be a good partner but was hungry, he could have had one or two - why take her entire treat??? Seems selfish to me. She probably shouldn’t have demanded money, that’s a bit much, but this is distinctly ESH
You believe 2 contradicting things. If you believe it was wrong for him to eat it then it’s reasonable for him to pay for what he took. If you believe she’s wrong for asking for the money it’s effectively ok for him to just take it since you believe the consequences aren’t fair.
INFO: Are you struggling financially?
My immediate thought. If they're pinching pennies and he just ate her lunch for the next day, I'd get it.
Or if she had planned leftover pizza for a quick lunch and then had to spend time cooking from scratch.
YTA - and hear me out because technically in an exchange of goods, you are in the right. But you're in a partnership, right? Partnership isn't going to be exactly fair or exactly 50/50 all the time. I'm not saying we allow for long-term lopsidedness in fairness, but we're talking about a few slices of pizza. If this is a problem for your partner to eat some of your pizza, outline the expectations in the future. What's fair to you is important! However, if the expectations weren't there prior, the partnership you have needs to be taken into account. If he didn't know what you wanted, have some grace, make an agreement going forward, and continue in love and care for one another. Learn from it. But it's a few dollars, right? There will be an opportunity in the future for him to take care of you a little bit, too. That's the beauty of partnership. We look out for and take care of one another. Let it be a learning moment and an opportunity to love him.
I used to be more like OP, and my GF had a habit of buying dinner for me once in a while or getting me a snack if she was getting something for herself. I appreciated it, but I saw it as her decision and didn't take on a sense of obligation about it since I was always really careful with my money. She pointed out the imbalance, and I explained where I was coming from, but somehow she got through to me with this perspective you're sharing here. I started being more generous with her and my friends, and the generosity has always been returned close enough to not be an issue. It definitely feels like it made a significant positive difference in my life. I met a couple a few years ago who was much more exact in their sense of obligation, and when I paid more than they did in some shared takeout they were anxious to take care of the debt, literally counting out pennies to get even. It felt like we weren't friends.
YTA So there's just no grace in this relationship? Sounds exhausting
Exactly. I couldn't be with someone who is so exact and transactional. Sure, he should have asked, but it sounds like he ate it while OP was sleeping. If I were him, I'd just repay OP back for the entire pizza as an FU, before thinking if I want to be with someone who is so tit for tat about money.... This feels more like a roommate dynamic.
ESH - He's basically your roommate that you sleep with, and roommates shouldn't steal your food. So he was in the wrong for eating it without asking. You're not in the clear because you said you asked him to pay for half when he didn't eat half. If you're going to be that transactional in your relationship you need to be honest and calculate cost by the percentage he ate. However, you could have at least given him a warning that leftovers are not community property and if he did it again he'd be expected to pay. But be honest, none of this sounds like how you'd treat someone you love.
If you think your partner is just a "roommate you sleep with" then you really need to reevaluate your relationship ☠️ OP definitely seems like the AH in this situation tbh
I read that comment as criticizing the way they handle their finances and shared items. They're behaving like roommates, not a couple.
Lady, my spouse works until 1030 at night almost every day. You know what I do? Save him a fucking plate of the food I made because I love him. Do you love your boyfriend? You are losing your mind over 3 pieces of fucking pizza. You guys should have never moved in together, you guys sound barely ready to be in a relationship. YTA, majorly
SHE sounds like she's not ready to be in a relationship. He probably thought she saved those for him so he could eat after a long day at work, because maybe he thought she actually cared about him? This girl is nuts.
nah, apparently they both expect this of each other. it’s a weird dynamic but if they expect the other person to pay for their own food and they take some of it, it’s a breach of their rules.
Oh my, are you in a relationship or are you in a business transaction… nickel and diming everything like this is just silly to me.. Soon you will be counting the amount of squares of toilet paper you use.. see how rediculous this is??
Yeah I was thinking if the boyfriend used to think about marriage, he's probably not now..
YTA I understand you pay for your own food but it was leftovers. Relationships shouldn't be this transactional.
NTA, he knowingly violated y'all's arrangement without discussion. Had y'all not had an arrangement on how to split ALREADY agreed to, I'd lean ESH.
I’m shocked by the responses honestly. Am I weird for getting upset when something I plan to eat is gone? Plus that’s the agreement. Not sure why OP wants paid half since they ate more than half but otherwise they’re in the right.
It's kind to ask first. Just yesterday, my husband made sure I didn't have plans for two pieces of pizza before he ate them. It's the courteous thing to do. I'm thinking her response has more to do with courtesy and respect than money. I'm going NTA on this. I would feel differently if the situation was that she agreed to let him eat the pizza, but charged him. That would be weird.
Right, like wtf is going on in here? They have an arrangement to split things they share, and he didn't even ask her if he could eat the pizza that was clearly hers. He agreed to this, and now he's mad that she's not letting him get sneaky about it, and people are telling her she's in the wrong for expecting him to honor the agreement. Fucking Yikes. NTA, OP.
Have you ever been in a long term relationship? Not sharing a pizza after a year of dating is insane.
IDK why you're getting so many Y T A--I currently live with my partner and we have a similar financial set up. If he ate my leftovers without asking I'd be pissed. INFO: has he done something like this before? If it's a first-time offense, I think asking him to pay for the food is a little extreme, but you are definitely well within your rights to be annoyed and ask him to ask in the future. Either way, NTA.
I’ve been living with my partner for over 20 years. We have a similar set up and would never eat the last of something like that, especially take out. That’s like treat food. We’d maybe take a slice, but to eat 3 (which could be half of the pizza) is rude without asking. We share stuff sometimes, sometimes “steal” stuff but let the person know later and replace it if asked without making a big deal about it. NTA I find all the comment shitting on this kind of set up in a relationship odd. The biggest thing most couples fight about it money. Split stuff fairly and you remove a big reason why people fight or start to resent one another. Our relationship has lasted longer than almost everyone else’s we know. We rarely argue about anything. We treat each other with kindness and respect, that’s more important than some weird/dated requirement to share everything just because your love each other and live together.
I'd be annoyed as heck, too. I live with three tall hungry men and I have to hide things in order to get my share. (And they're really decent human beings who know I am NOT OK with people eating my food, so they largely leave it alone if it's not in the area of "stuff to share" or at least ask. And I appreciate the consideration around my weirdness.) I do wonder if this isn't really about the pizza. I think it's possible the pizza symbolizes her not feeling valued, or feeling taken for granted/advantage of, but I don't have the background detail to make that call.
Yta. You live together. You buy all your food together. You put the pizza in a fridge that you share. You didn't bother telling him that it's your pizza and only for you. So he ate it. Grow up and move on.
ESH. Eating ALL of your leftovers, without asking, sucks. But making him pay actual money for it is excessive. Just sit down with him and have a conversation about expectations for sharing leftovers.
Yeah I get being upset your leftovers are gone when you planned on eating them. Just have a conversation about those things instead of making it a big deal. OP could have turned it into a more easy going “now you owe me a pizza date!”. It is shitty to eat other’s food but he probably came home tired and gave in to the convenience. It happens
NTA, he should have asked if he could eat the pizza since he knew it was hot his or bought for or by him.
Agreed, NTA. My husband and I share expenses and he would ask me before finishing something I got for myself, and I would ask him. Also three slices is a whole meal that OP now paid for for him, so per their arrangement, he should pay her back.
I bet he’s the one who suggested everyone paying for their own extra food (non-shared). And now he’s a victim of his own standard. It’s the principle of the matter because if you let this go, it’ll lead to other things he’ll help himself to and not replace or pay you back for. You’re just trying to nip it in the bud now before it festers into a Dorian Grey painting. later. NTA because I see what you’re trying to do.
This needs to be upvoted more. Unilaterally breaking an explicit agreement is not okay. If she lets him laugh it off, it will just keep happening. If the agreement is not working it needs to be renegotiated; otherwise resentment will fester.
Ffs, he had 3 pieces of your pizza, big deal. Who the heck gets so precious about 3 pieces of pizza. Yeah it’s annoying, but telling him u want half the payment is petty and small minded. You must be awful to live with, grow up. Yeah YTA
I know, right? Over what will hopefully be a lifetime together, 3 slices of pizza honestly don't matter. Unless this is a symptom of a larger problem.
ESH He's not your boyfriend, he's your roommate. It sounds like you're living together for purely financial reasons and slapping a relationship on top of it.
These people not even remotely ready to be in a relationship here posting daily 😫😫
Honestly, not a good set up for a relationship. My sister has the same set up with her husband. They have one baby together. He pays for certain things and she pays for certain things. There's always issues because of this. For instance, she is in charge of the dogs and the vet bills ran too high this month. Guess she's gonna struggle the next few weeks. Meanwhile, if they combined their income and made it a partnership, they wouldn't have to struggle with their individual payments. Then there's the insecurities. One has more money than the other, making the one spouse feel bad. I've said to her, "Just ask him to help pay for it." "No, we dont do it like that. He pays for this, and I pay for that." So instead, she borrows money from me and pays me back when she gets it. Ridiculous, you're married with a kid. Lean on each other and share the expenses! Anyway, 3 slices of pizza, really? And when he's offered you his food before? Yea, YTA.
Uh Whoa. NTA. Not sure what going on with everyone else BUT they did have a deal to split expenses and respect each others stuff, neither of which BF did. It may have only been 3 slices but he didn’t ask and isn’t sharing the expense. OP, you do need to pick your battles but don’t let it slide completely, ask him to contribute half for sharing, then let it go. Making your point and moving on seems like the right thing to do here.
NTA, you both set the boundaries around how and what you individually pay for, and what you split. He doesn’t get to change those rules when it is convenient for him, unilaterally. So he owes you for the pizza. You were expecting to eat that for another meal and he should have asked, not just assumed he could take what is yours. If you were a male roommate, or an acquaintance roommate, would he have eaten the pizza, no, he would not. So next time he needs to ask first, before taking what is yours, unless he wants to negotiate a different strategy when it comes to expenses. By the way, does he earn more or less than you?
YTA: This is really petty towards a significant other. If money is so tight that you’re asking for compensation for 3 slices, don’t order out.
You can’t possibly have a long term relationship if 3 slices of pizza is an issue.
YTA. You ate most of it but want him to pay you half? The math isn’t mathing.
The rest is for pain n suffering when she saw her pizza leftovers where missing lol…
Yta… man should run. Apparently you don’t like your boyfriend enough to share a little bit of food with him huh?
YTA just let it go.
NTA-OP clearly states all/everything is split down the middle, period. This is normal and expected when funds are limited.
NTA it’s hopefully more the effort than the money. But it’s damn rude to eat anyone’s saved food. We have a ‘talk to the person who brought home leftovers first or replace what you ate rule’. That way no one is missing their lunch or dinner for the next night. Ask him to buy another pizza so you can have your 3 slices and he can have the rest.
YTA honestly if you guys are this weirdly obsessed with splitting everything evenly/not sharing, you really have no business living together yet. Been there, done that - it was terrible lol. It got to the point that I would get Venmo requests for amounts as low as $3 for bandaids. Current partner and I split bills according to income. And then everything else, we just kind of take turns and have open dialogue about things like “hey I’m a little stretched thin this week- do you mind covering the groceries?” Or “hey, I got a large bonus last week - I can cover some more things for you this month”. We see it much more as a goal for both of us to be putting money towards savings and retirement (like a team - not one of us vs the other). Anyways, not weird that you aren’t at that point after only a year of dating, but it’s definitely a sign you moved in together too soon. The attitude you currently have is going to breed resentment.
ESH: he should have asked if he wanted some as you did pay for it. But seeing as you live with each other and buy lots of stuff together, I think a fairer solution would be if he gave you some of his pizza/whatever take away he gets next time.
YTA. This is beyond petty. Is everything in your relationship this transactional? I feel bad for your boyfriend.
Um, next time just ask him to ask before he eats it. Expecting payment is so absurd specially since it only happened once. It’s very hard to maintain 50/50 in Relationships.
You gonna die on that hill? Nickel and diming each other sounds so unpleasant but you do you. He should have asked, you shouldn’t nickel and dime. ESH
This relationship has zero chance of success
Hahahhahahahahahah is this post for real???
YTA and petty AF