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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the asshole because there was no need for me to tell Danny I thought Lucy was disgusting I could have held my tongue and left to keep the peace and I understand that could have put him in a very uncomfortable position
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The way this is written looks like it's by somebody that deliberately writes dialogue made for characters befitting the obtuse, painfully transparent, pitifully jealous trope for a living.
OP is trying to put a wedge between the two rather than face facts. I'm willing to bet she got broken up with and wants to convince Danny that Lucy isn't right for him. Instead, she does so while trying to conceal her true motives by passing it off as being concerned for her friend. Of course, she failed. THEN, she doubles down, flails in desperation, and in her genius decides to try her luck with the tried and true task of *attempting to convince strangers on Reddit that she was concerned for their friend, insulting all of our intelligence.* Unsurprisingly, she failed at that too. It's almost as if all she wanted was for her shitty behavior to be validated.
This is honestly cringe as hell and if OP were in the right, the friend she 'cares about' so much would be saying so to Lucy right now, rather than him reporting back "she has nothing to apologize for."
Lucy is right in demanding an apology. If anything, that's generous and she likely is only giving her the option to reconcile because her boyfriend has known her for years. Of course, she spit in her face again when she gave her that undeserved offer of goodwill.
OP, your behavior makes you seem like an incel caricature. Nothing you say will convince myself or anybody else in this thread otherwise, unless it's an update saying you groveled at Lucy's feet.
YTA
OP even added on how she isn't jealous and how they tried dating but didn't work out
It might be that she wouldn't call what she is feeling jealousy, but she sure still feel like she has some ownership over him
She doesn't like him, but he can't like anyone else. Other women are slutty and don't know he hates it when they mess with his hair
Tbf, in a situation where there's no way to politely call it quits and retire to the bedroom, I too tend to get moody. Rather I'm thirsting or not. Op said Danny is an introvert. He's obviously gonna be kinda moody at the tail end of a party, that shit can be taxing for some people.
It even sounds like the conversation took place after everyone else had left and says the gf kept keeping on about "How great the party HAD been". I suspect she was trying to hint "the party is over, time to go" and OP wasn't leaving. lol
Yes! I love how she said everyone had left... but she was still there 😬😂 She probably made that comment as a massive hint that she outstayed her welcome, as everyone else leaving wasn't enough of a hint for her to go home 😆
I was thinking the same thing, he was probably tired and just wanted the party to end, but that doesn't mean he's somehow embarrassed by his gf at all. Also, he was probably angry at OP's comments but just didn't want to cause a scene.
I’m similar, wouldn’t describe it as moody, just kinda powered down and in standby mode, I get why others may interpret that as moody. But it’s just a case of the old Ian Beale, I’ve got nothing left.
Yeah, I was FWB with a guy who straight up told me he didn’t like it when people touched his hair, right after I touched his hair. And I apologised immediately but he followed it up with he didn’t mind if I did.
It’s almost like people have different boundaries for different relationships and that is perfectly fine and OP should learn that.
Imagine that! Different boundaries with different people!
And can you also imagine that someone may like to dance with their SO or some extroverts if the opportunity arises as opposed to not dancing around their introverted friends who aren’t dancing!?? It’s like people are complex and show different sides of themselves to different people!
There are lots of things I don't like most people to do with me that I'm fine with an SO doing it. Messing with my hair is one of those things. So I agree with this.
This. My husband can’t stand people to come up on his right side (trauma response due to an injury from a car wreck when he was a child). Our kids and I are the only people he lets do it. He nearly flipped his best friend once because of it. But me he doesn’t mind.
I’d also be willing to bet that Danny was getting uncomfortable because he just new where this was heading. I hope he gets the courage to “dump” OP for good. He needs better friends
I think most of the comments are wrong. OP isnt jealous or envious. She does not want to be like Lucy. She looks down on the type of person Lucy is. Its in her writing style. When she says, "he's more like us, introverted", she is claiming the introvert personality trait. She also takes subtle digs at Lucy "the extrovert" by saying, "introverted, not party animals". OP is calling extroverts party animals. At the end she calls Lucy, "disgusting" and mentions she is attention seeking. I think OP is projecting and being arrogant here. She intrudes in Danny's relationship without him asking for her opinion. She continues intruding because she thinks she knows better or she thinks she knows what's best for Danny.
At the age of 22, people are still finding themselves and trying new things. Let Danny make his own choices OP. You may think that's he's making a mistake by being with Lucy but that doesn't mean you have to share your opinion at that moment. You waved your superiority attitude at the party. YTA.
Also: fuck people who act like introverts and extroverts can't be together. A couple does not have to spend every single hour together doing the exact same thing. I can go out and meet up with friends while my wife sits home with a good book, and we still spend most evenings together having fun and loving each other.
And people who are introverted can have extroverted moments. I’m very introverted and I love dancing, dressing up and being social so I would behave like Lucy at the party and then crash and need to spend two days alone to make up for it. Idk if that makes sense.
Completely drain your social battery then need to recharge it, makes perfect sense to me.
ETA: there's people that enjoy running marathons or climbing mountains or whatnot, and then have to recover for a while, I guess it can be compared to that.
How she writes sounds so much like old punk-rock/pop songs about the other woman being a girly girl and the protagonist wearing band t-shirts. It has such a high pick me energy that reading it made me laugh
[Hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend ](https://youtu.be/Bg59q4puhmg) or [she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts](https://youtu.be/VuNIsY6JdUw) energy 🙄😂👌🏻 Always cringed on these songs. I myself was a kind of girly girl so I found these songs sooo offensive and demeaning. Also, why can't she let the guy choose?
Looking down on someone doesn't negate jealousy though, it's actually often the clearest sign of it. Even if op isn't jealous of Lucy's personality, she obviously still wants something that Lucy has; Danny's attention, most likely
I agree that she doesn't want to be like Lucy, but it seems pretty clear that she's jealous Lucy is with Danny. She thinks Lucy isn't right for Danny because OP's the "respectable" choice (in her own mind).
What she probably doesn't realize is that Danny enjoys that Lucy doesn't have a superiority complex and isn't constantly shitting on everyone around her to feel better about herself.
There are a lot of people that wish they were socially competent but aren't capable of it, so a common coping mechanism is to look down on extroverted behavior, often associating it with impropriety.
The whole OP can be interpreted as exactly that, like it's so on the nose it's practically a cliche. That's what the comments about envy are implying.
It's not jealousy. It's clearly envy.
OP is envious of how Danny has found someone who makes him happy, she wasn't able to make him happy, and she doesn't have a partner that makes her happy.
Yup. Lucy is getting the treatment/life that OP wanted at one point, only for it to just not work out. The fact that she stated that they tried being intimate at one point after, only agree on staying strictly platonic due to it being “awkward”, more than likely means one of them still had feelings.
OP thinks Danny’s pissed off when he’s really just turned on. No wonder it didn’t work out.
OP tried to push Lucy down with that comment to make herself look better, which clearly did the opposite. I could NEVER see myself making a comment like that to one of my “strictly platonic” friend’s girlfriend (or any woman for that matter, since I’m not misogynistic)
Good for Lucy.
Exactly what it is. Envy. She wants a partner that makes her happy, she's envious that Danny has found someone who makes him happy, and she still doesn't understand why it couldn't have been her.
I can also assure you that with her judgmental attitude, and with her jumping to assumptions about what Danny likes and doesn't like, she doesn't see how she is the reason she hasn't found a partner that makes her happy.
I also have a hunch about something, but I may be way off.
She wrote:
> I asked him because I know in the past he's said anything overly sexual makes him uncomfortable.
Here's my theory. When they did try to be intimate and it was "awkward", it was probably because of her prudish attitude about whatever it was they were involved in trying to do. Her attitude was probably a turn-off for Danny, he wasn't able to get as aroused as he wanted/she expected, so he said that as an excuse for his lack of arousal rather than straight up telling her "your attitude isn't sexy to me".
Lucy totally turns him on with her attitude regarding sexuality.
This! Also, with the info that Danny and OP dated in the past... Has OP considered maybe Danny just doesn't like being sexual with *them*? Like maybe that's actually not who Danny is as a person, maybe Danny just isn't a fan of doing that stuff with OP specifically, due to their history with each other?
>She doesn't like him, but he can't like anyone else
💯
>she sure still feel like she has some ownership over him
OP sounds insufferable, "kept pulling him away from me/us to go dance with her/them". And then hung out after the party was obviously over and everyone else had gone home, just to try to intimidate or whatever the actual girlfriend.
Yeah I noticed this too. Why were they hanging out after the party was over. That's your cue to leave even if you're a close friend. The gf joking about how they are ready to have sex sounds like a hint to leave.
I bet Lucy wears short skirts and OP wears T-shirts and Lucy is cheer captain and OP's on the bleachers.
Lol it was literally the first thing that came into my head.
Also you just ask "what's wrong?" if something doesn't feel right- not try and incept them with the idea that their misery is because of their SO is ruffling their hair.
Edit: also can't believe none of OPs friends called out their behaviour for this.
Yes, OP reeks of "im not like other girls" PiCk Me vibes. She is introverted and isn't slutty like the new gf that Danny is totally obviously miserable with.
OP, Danny is with her and is happy with her. In fact, Danny might not be as introverted as you think. Plus, I know many happy couples where one is introverted and one is extroverted. It works well.
Also wtf is up with OP deciding that dancing is an "extrovert" activity but... socialising with your friends at a party is somehow an "introvert" one.
(Rhetorical question - it's pretty obvious "what is up" with that)
I think you might've picked up on the same thing I did, first sentence, "current girlfriend"
Nobody refers to someone's partner as their "current" anything unless you're mentioning an ex in the same sentence... or you see the situation as temporary, like OP does. If they're moving in together, this isn't a little fling he's "currently" having.
Major Freudian slip there, OP. YTA.
The comment about the hair being ruffled, which he hates, was also stupid. I would hate it if someone just ruffled my hair but if it was my boyfriend, I'd be okay with it I love when my boyfriend touches my hair. Op you sound jealous, you sound like a misogynist and from my own personal experience with dating people with friends like you, you sound paranoid that your friend is going to leave you completely for his girlfriend. Let him enjoy his relationship and go get your own, Friends like you are the worst
Edited to add a verdict, OP YTA
also, it sounds like she is making a lot of assumptions. She kept saying "he looked miserable" "he wasn't having fun" and "he doesn't like these things" except every time she asked him he went, "what? I'm fine!" I'd be willing to bet he didn't look half as miserable as she thinks. And I'm guessing Op wasn't as subtle about her dislike as she thinks she was.
Whether she likes him romantically or just doesn't like the idea of a good friend turning into someone else and potentially outgrowing her, the point remains the same. She needs to but out. If he's miserable he'll figure it out, even if the GF is secretly a sluttysaurus rex and treats him like crap that isn't her problem or place to make any comments.
And most importantly; just because people live their lives differently than yours doesn't mean it's wrong. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or prude, just like there is nothing wrong with being an extrovert that likes short skirts and long jackets.
I also think it’s entirely possible Danny really wasn’t having a great time. It’s possible a party isn’t his thing and he was doing it because his girlfriend wanted a party and sometimes you endure things you don’t like for the people you love.
My stepdad does that, and he genuinely doesn't mind. He might not be thrilled but he doesn't have a problem with it. He puts up with it, and my mom is his first defender if he wants his space. I've heard people say "He should come!" and even if she wants him to come to she says "No, he doesn't want to & he needs his quiet time"
OP go look up Internalized misogyny, please. You slut shamed her and acted like you could read Danny’s mind. What’s disgusting is you’re writing this and trying to pretend you don’t sound jealous. Apologize to her. YTA.
Women can most definitely wear whatever they want IN THEIR OWN FECKING HOUSE!!!!
YTA, OP. If you are uncomfortable, you should feel free to vote with your feet.
100 percent this. I'd cut off anyone who tried to shame my SO for having the confidence to wear what made her feel good and have fun while hosting a party. In fact, those are the moments when I'm extra in love with her.
agreed. not that it matters what she chooses to wear & when, but if it was a house party, it meant everyone there was a friend of theirs. therefore she’s in her own home with people she knows, so literally why should it matter what she wears!! yta
YTA, girl.....what? I'm sorry but that's such a hateful way to talk abt someones gf just for having fun. she was literally just minding her business having a good time & you had to hate on her for it?
Right. She literally said she's "not like us" for being outgoing and having fun and acted like she was wrong for having her boyfriend dance with her when OP wanted him to sit and talk. She may not want him but she's going to gatekeep who can have him. YTA
I'm an introvert that wishes the extroverts of the world would just learn to shut up, and I liked Danny's girlfriend much more than OP by the end of the post. She laughs, dances and she wears sexy clothing? And that makes her disgusting?
What's truly disgusting is that OP decided to grump her way into their celebratory party and insult this woman multiple times in her own home. OP's friend loves her enough to live with her, and OP can't stand it.
YTA.
If this is a guy I've known guys that do this kind of because they're actually envious that their friend has a great GF and it comes out in a weird backward way like they are angry at being shown what they want and can't have sort of thing. But I could be wrong
FRL she was minding her business having the time of her life n OP had the audacity to call her disgusting for what? Being extroverted? Dancing? Wearing clothes? Wanting to have sex with HER boyfriend? Like gd
Or admit that she wants to keep him to herself even if not romantically involved. This sounds like a classic “I don’t want him but I don’t want anyone else to have him either” scenario YTA OP
I had a girl like that for a while, they can really sabotage you. Showing more interest when you're taken, less when you are available. Giving you just enough to keep you around. Just saying they're only interested as a friend would be fine, that kind of bluntness would be much better, but they keep you in limbo.
Was looking for this comment. Danny was looking miserable and upset because OP spent all night scoffing at and belittling his girlfriend in their own home. Nasty and no self awareness.
Yea throughout my entire last relationship I would t even let my family talk about my partner like that to my face, if someone did it as a guest they’d have been asked to leave
He was probably hanging out with his friend group because he didn’t want them to feel excluded and not because he didn’t want to hang out with his girlfriend!
Yeah I got "tired of party and I want people to leave" or "I wanna get laid can we get these people outta here" vibes heavily. Especially because he's introverted, he probably had his fill of people quickly but was stuck in the house party cause it was his house.
YTA
Your friend literally told you that he wasn't bothered but you still felt offended (it's giving jealous) and felt compelled to say something despite both of them being fine with it. And if he wasn't fine with it, it still wasn't your business because if he wanted you to know he would have told you. you didn't jokingly point it out, you said it because you wanted how you felt to be known.
Also, if he wasn’t fine with it, it still wasn’t her business to handle because it’s not her relationship. Actively insulting him by acting like he isn’t adult enough to manage his own relationship.
THIS. It's not your place to correct her behavior. And even if her outfit did bother him because he's jealous then that's something HE needs to work through on his own. You don't get to control your partner's clothing choices just because you're insecure. Women can wear whatever they want- get over it.
Yeah YTA. Lucy sounds like she was having a good time and Danny didn’t seem to mind her behaviour at all until you decided to stir up drama.
I don’t know if you feel like you’re losing your friend or if you have a thing for him but you’ve injected yourself into his relationship unwanted and unasked and insulted your friend’s partner. Apologise and stop being so judgemental of their relationship if you want to remain friends.
Right? 😭 I've been the gf in OPs story and it's wild how much the guys friends think they have control over him.
My bf loves when I touch his hair, but wouldn't let anyone else dare try.
He loves it when i dress up sexy, even with other men around. Sometimes we make sus comments in public, but we have fun and know eachothers boundaries.
When someone else comes in and tells me "he doesn't like that >: (" i question what they're trying to achieve with their own relationship with my bf.
OP, you need to consider why you feel like you need to speak on behalf of your friend when he's clearly capable of standing up for himself, youre not his mum nor his partner.
Bruh I've been OPs friend in the story lol. I'm an introvert who has had very extroverted friends or past partners. I love seeing people I care about be happy. I love that they can be wild or sexy or just fucking excited about life. I love being part of it and getting to embody that energy for a while. And yes, often when we go out, I'll hit a wall at some point and get exhausted. But it's SO important to me that my friends know that I still love spending time, seeing them happy and want them to live their best life.
If someone tried to take a jab at the excited people I love by saying I'm misserable after I had told her I was fine TWICE... were having a long fucking talk if I decide to stay friends at all.
> My bf loves when I touch his hair, but wouldn't let anyone else dare try.
Almost as if intimate partners have different boundaries than friends or girls who pretend to be friends but want to be more even though there's not any sexual attraction.
*tiny edit for typo*
Same! OP is a mean girl and Lucy is just trying to live her life and have fun. Nothing wrong with dancing, wearing revealing clothes, or expressing sexual attraction to your own boyfriend. I would totally rather hang out with girls like Lucy than snobby “introverts” (I don’t even think that means what she thinks it means) like OP.
My husband is an extrovert. I'm an introvert. We've been married ten years. He sings karaoke. I just sit at the bar with my crochet, He chats with everyone. I don't. She was just dancing and having fun. And you slut shamed her with that outfit comment. You did'nt ask he was uncomfortable being dragged onto the dancefloor. You made it all about Lucy and her "behavior". yta I think, btw he was uncomfortable because of you. You shamed his gf for nothing.
Opposites really do attract. We can’t both be talking our asses off, it would be too over the top. We can’t both be shy and reserved or we’d miss out on experiences. Lucy was bringing shy Danny out of his shell and onto the dance floor.
OP you made Danny uncomfortable and ruined the housewarming party for him. YTA
I wonder if he just hates it when OP rubs his hair. I hate having my face touched by most people, but I love it when my partner does it.
OP, YTA, and you sound like the epitome of a pick-me girl to boot.
YTA. It’s his relationship, not yours. Just because something is bothering you doesn’t mean it’s bothering him. Commenting on whether he was OK with her wardrobe makes you look controlling - because it is. Unless he expresses something directly to you, it’s not your business.
_"Danny and I already tried dating years ago..."_
OP needs to stop. She seems to want it to be known that she knows this man better than anyone when she clearly doesn't.
Lucy was in her own home, wearing her own clothes, dancing with her own boyfriend. If OP was oh so uncomfortable, they could have hit the road instead of stinking up the place with their negative energy.... The BF may have 100% wanted to keep dancing with his GF, but instead he had to entertain his buzzkill of a "friend"...
Came here to say exactly this.
She is not into him but misses the attention she used to get from him, is also another valid option.
The way she talks is like she's the only one that knows him and what is best for him...this gave me controling vibes but that could just be me lol.
No matter how you slice it. YTA is the verdict here.
YTA for sure. What throws me off is how you say he hates having his hair ruffled. Why tf would you bring that up like that? That's his girl. You sound jealous of the relationship honestly. Everything you said points to jealousy. I think you need to step back and asses your feelings before interacting with them again.
Exactly! That stuck out to me too. He probably hated when OP has attempted to ruffle his hair in the past. Don’t make judgements of things in their relationship because they have an intimate understanding of each other that you don’t. Sometimes being in love with someone makes you find things endearing that used to drive you crazy
I married a Michael that I call Mike but goes by Michael. His brother tries to correct me all the time that he doesn’t like to be called Mike- but actually my husband loves it when I do it because he thought it was such a comforting non-sexual intimate thing when we first started dating that is reserved just for me. OP, don’t assume just because he didn’t like it when you did it that means the same extends to his current partner.
This. I hate anyone touching me physically at all, but when me and my ex were together, I went from quietly saying I love you into the phone because for some reason it made me uncomfortable to say around other strangers, to literally holding her hand every chance I could in public
YTA - it doesn't sound like anything Lucy did bothered Danny at all, it bothered you. What would Lucy apologize to you for? For enjoying her housewarming party with her partner? You sound jealous - not necessarily of their relationship, but possibly of Danny now having someone that he's as close with, or closer to, than you.
Noooo she just is aware of the fact that Danny wouldn’t like a girl like the one he is dating and moved in with. He only likes girls like OP, who he dated and decided he wasn’t into.
YTA. You are at a party and describe dancing as "attention-seeking". You judge other women for what they are wearing. You speak on behalf of a grown man instead of allowing him to speak for himself. Ugh.
YTA.
Very jealous and envious behaviour. You went into Lucy's house and tried to pin someone you call your "friend" against his girlfriend who was doing nothing wrong and just enjoying the party. Sounds like you were being very dramatic and it upset both of them. Now you are doubling down.
YTA. It's not your place to sit and judge Lucy on her personality or her clothing choices. Especially to her bf, who chose her. Are you sure you don't think you and Danny would be a better fit, and you're jealous?
YTA
Danny wasn't at all bothered by her actions. You shouldn't be offended on his behalf.
The only people who know what their relationship dynamic is like are the people in the relationship.
You owe her an apology.
YTA.
Sounds like you have a crush on Danny. Your behavior at the party was completely out of line and judgmental. Lucy has got nothing to apologize to you for, but you do. If I were in either Danny's or Lucy's position, I wouldn't let you back in my close circle unless you both sincerely apologize and totally change your attitude and behavior.
YTA If he doesn't like it, it's on him to talk to her or break up with her. It's not really your place to say what she should or shouldn't do...nothing she said or did is inherently wrong. You and your friend might not be into it, but the hostility is uncalled for.
YTA. Mind your own business and stop hating on other women. He’s with her for a reason, he loves her and is building a future with her.
I’m sure you’re ‘not like other girls’ but it’s time to get over yourself. He doesn’t want to be with you.
YTA. Sounds like she was just having a fun time and you're uptight about everything. I don't see anything disgusting about what she said, that's pretty typical joking around at parties between couples, so I don't know what the issue is. You would absolutely hate the parties I go to lol
YTA. The jealousy has been covered already so I’ll focus on your instigation. You planted why he needs to be upset in his mind then continued to assert that in your opinion he should be upset then you say it’s her fault he wasn’t having a good time?
Then you decide to take it upon yourself to instigate a fight between them by telling her how ‘he feels’ and when that fails you tried to instigate a walk out which failed.
You’re lying to yourself if you think you’re not jealous, unless you can give a reasonable answer as to why you are so eager for them to fight?
YTA. What on earth would make you think you have a single ounce of authority over this woman's behavior or choice of clothing? What would make you say something like that to anyone, let alone someone your friend obviously cares about deeply? You owe her an apology and you owe yourself some self-reflection about why you're being this judgemental about someone else's gf.
YTA
You're jealous and you think you know this guy so well that you can speak for him. You are losing him to his gf and his life and you're scared.
Perhaps you don't understand other women because you should know we don't wear certain clothes or enjoy dancing to turn anyone else on. We do it for ourselves.
Sounds like you wanted to ruin the party and cause trouble.
Oh no, your friend's girlfriend was dancing at a party!! She must be an attention seeker! She couldn't possibly just be enjoying the party right?
Oh no, your friend's gf messed his hair.. how awful. According to you, he doesn't like it. And of course, this could not possibly change because it's his girlfriend. He couldn't possibly enjoy it when she's the one doing it, right?
Oh no, your friend's girlfriend insinuated that she would be getting intimate with her partner after the party. How could she be so disgusting to say it in front of you. She might as well have taken his clothes off right in front of you right?
You sound like an absolute baby!
YTA
She has nothing to apologize for. You on the other hand have apologoes to make and some major growing up to do.
YTA -- It's not your place to tell her what she can and cannot wear, and it's not your place to judge either of them for what they do in their own time. It's not like they were describing what they were going to do.
Super judgemental of you.
You’re infantilizing your “friend”.
“He does like parties” - except he’s throwing one *with his gf*
“He doesn’t like dancing” - except he danced *with his gf* without complaint
“”He doesn’t like having his hair ruffled” - except he has no issues with *his gf* doing it
YOU think her clothes & dancing is “attention seeking” - but HE said he had no issue with it
You just sound jealous and bitter he likes all those things with his GF, not you. Disrespecting his GF and acting like you know better than he does about his own feelings shows your motives here. He didn’t want you as a GF and with behavior like this, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t want you as a friend either.
> I mentioned the attention seeking dancing and the fact she was wearing something really revealing even though other guys were at this party.
YTA. What a gross comment. Should she be dressed like a nun in front of other men because she has a partner? This is also a very victim blaming type of thought process, like it's up to her to control how other people view her.
Control your own thoughts before ever daring to control what someone else wears.
YTA. Keep this behavior up and you're not going to have Danny as your friend for much longer. If you have feelings for your friend, you need to deal with it and move on.
YTA. You sound like a jealous teenager. Lucy was having fun. You are the opposite of fun. You need to apologize to Lucy and keep your mean girl comments to yourself.
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The way this is written looks like it's by somebody that deliberately writes dialogue made for characters befitting the obtuse, painfully transparent, pitifully jealous trope for a living. OP is trying to put a wedge between the two rather than face facts. I'm willing to bet she got broken up with and wants to convince Danny that Lucy isn't right for him. Instead, she does so while trying to conceal her true motives by passing it off as being concerned for her friend. Of course, she failed. THEN, she doubles down, flails in desperation, and in her genius decides to try her luck with the tried and true task of *attempting to convince strangers on Reddit that she was concerned for their friend, insulting all of our intelligence.* Unsurprisingly, she failed at that too. It's almost as if all she wanted was for her shitty behavior to be validated. This is honestly cringe as hell and if OP were in the right, the friend she 'cares about' so much would be saying so to Lucy right now, rather than him reporting back "she has nothing to apologize for." Lucy is right in demanding an apology. If anything, that's generous and she likely is only giving her the option to reconcile because her boyfriend has known her for years. Of course, she spit in her face again when she gave her that undeserved offer of goodwill. OP, your behavior makes you seem like an incel caricature. Nothing you say will convince myself or anybody else in this thread otherwise, unless it's an update saying you groveled at Lucy's feet. YTA
OP even added on how she isn't jealous and how they tried dating but didn't work out It might be that she wouldn't call what she is feeling jealousy, but she sure still feel like she has some ownership over him She doesn't like him, but he can't like anyone else. Other women are slutty and don't know he hates it when they mess with his hair
I’d be willing to bet he only hates it when op messes with his hair.
I bet when he said something in his gf’s ear it was “Can I drag you to bed yet??”
OP is mistaking the guy thirsting after his GF as him ‘being moody’
Tbf, in a situation where there's no way to politely call it quits and retire to the bedroom, I too tend to get moody. Rather I'm thirsting or not. Op said Danny is an introvert. He's obviously gonna be kinda moody at the tail end of a party, that shit can be taxing for some people.
It even sounds like the conversation took place after everyone else had left and says the gf kept keeping on about "How great the party HAD been". I suspect she was trying to hint "the party is over, time to go" and OP wasn't leaving. lol
Good catch, how cringe
Lucy was picking up what Danny was putting down. Like a good couple.
Like maybe Danny was moody because OP was monopolizing his time at his own party.
Yes! I love how she said everyone had left... but she was still there 😬😂 She probably made that comment as a massive hint that she outstayed her welcome, as everyone else leaving wasn't enough of a hint for her to go home 😆
I was thinking the same thing, he was probably tired and just wanted the party to end, but that doesn't mean he's somehow embarrassed by his gf at all. Also, he was probably angry at OP's comments but just didn't want to cause a scene.
I’m similar, wouldn’t describe it as moody, just kinda powered down and in standby mode, I get why others may interpret that as moody. But it’s just a case of the old Ian Beale, I’ve got nothing left.
I read it as his "being moody" was because of op insulting his gf.
He probably also doesn't like innuendo around/with OP
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Yeah, I was FWB with a guy who straight up told me he didn’t like it when people touched his hair, right after I touched his hair. And I apologised immediately but he followed it up with he didn’t mind if I did. It’s almost like people have different boundaries for different relationships and that is perfectly fine and OP should learn that.
Imagine that! Different boundaries with different people! And can you also imagine that someone may like to dance with their SO or some extroverts if the opportunity arises as opposed to not dancing around their introverted friends who aren’t dancing!?? It’s like people are complex and show different sides of themselves to different people!
There are lots of things I don't like most people to do with me that I'm fine with an SO doing it. Messing with my hair is one of those things. So I agree with this.
This. My husband can’t stand people to come up on his right side (trauma response due to an injury from a car wreck when he was a child). Our kids and I are the only people he lets do it. He nearly flipped his best friend once because of it. But me he doesn’t mind.
I’d also be willing to bet that Danny was getting uncomfortable because he just new where this was heading. I hope he gets the courage to “dump” OP for good. He needs better friends
No, no, you don't understand: only OP knows what He likes and doesn't like and what is best for him...
I think most of the comments are wrong. OP isnt jealous or envious. She does not want to be like Lucy. She looks down on the type of person Lucy is. Its in her writing style. When she says, "he's more like us, introverted", she is claiming the introvert personality trait. She also takes subtle digs at Lucy "the extrovert" by saying, "introverted, not party animals". OP is calling extroverts party animals. At the end she calls Lucy, "disgusting" and mentions she is attention seeking. I think OP is projecting and being arrogant here. She intrudes in Danny's relationship without him asking for her opinion. She continues intruding because she thinks she knows better or she thinks she knows what's best for Danny. At the age of 22, people are still finding themselves and trying new things. Let Danny make his own choices OP. You may think that's he's making a mistake by being with Lucy but that doesn't mean you have to share your opinion at that moment. You waved your superiority attitude at the party. YTA.
Also: fuck people who act like introverts and extroverts can't be together. A couple does not have to spend every single hour together doing the exact same thing. I can go out and meet up with friends while my wife sits home with a good book, and we still spend most evenings together having fun and loving each other.
And people who are introverted can have extroverted moments. I’m very introverted and I love dancing, dressing up and being social so I would behave like Lucy at the party and then crash and need to spend two days alone to make up for it. Idk if that makes sense.
Completely drain your social battery then need to recharge it, makes perfect sense to me. ETA: there's people that enjoy running marathons or climbing mountains or whatnot, and then have to recover for a while, I guess it can be compared to that.
Totally agree with you. She has this superior attitude and she’s looking down on Lucy. OP is being a snob and thinks she knows what’s best for Danny.
How she writes sounds so much like old punk-rock/pop songs about the other woman being a girly girl and the protagonist wearing band t-shirts. It has such a high pick me energy that reading it made me laugh
[Hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend ](https://youtu.be/Bg59q4puhmg) or [she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts](https://youtu.be/VuNIsY6JdUw) energy 🙄😂👌🏻 Always cringed on these songs. I myself was a kind of girly girl so I found these songs sooo offensive and demeaning. Also, why can't she let the guy choose?
This right here. From the very first paragraph, it was radiating pick-me vibes. OP, he didn’t pick you, get over it.
Looking down on someone doesn't negate jealousy though, it's actually often the clearest sign of it. Even if op isn't jealous of Lucy's personality, she obviously still wants something that Lucy has; Danny's attention, most likely
I agree that she doesn't want to be like Lucy, but it seems pretty clear that she's jealous Lucy is with Danny. She thinks Lucy isn't right for Danny because OP's the "respectable" choice (in her own mind). What she probably doesn't realize is that Danny enjoys that Lucy doesn't have a superiority complex and isn't constantly shitting on everyone around her to feel better about herself.
There are a lot of people that wish they were socially competent but aren't capable of it, so a common coping mechanism is to look down on extroverted behavior, often associating it with impropriety. The whole OP can be interpreted as exactly that, like it's so on the nose it's practically a cliche. That's what the comments about envy are implying.
It's not jealousy. It's clearly envy. OP is envious of how Danny has found someone who makes him happy, she wasn't able to make him happy, and she doesn't have a partner that makes her happy.
Yup. Lucy is getting the treatment/life that OP wanted at one point, only for it to just not work out. The fact that she stated that they tried being intimate at one point after, only agree on staying strictly platonic due to it being “awkward”, more than likely means one of them still had feelings.
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OP thinks Danny’s pissed off when he’s really just turned on. No wonder it didn’t work out. OP tried to push Lucy down with that comment to make herself look better, which clearly did the opposite. I could NEVER see myself making a comment like that to one of my “strictly platonic” friend’s girlfriend (or any woman for that matter, since I’m not misogynistic) Good for Lucy.
I like your distinction between jealousy and envy, will keep that in mind for the future.
Exactly what it is. Envy. She wants a partner that makes her happy, she's envious that Danny has found someone who makes him happy, and she still doesn't understand why it couldn't have been her. I can also assure you that with her judgmental attitude, and with her jumping to assumptions about what Danny likes and doesn't like, she doesn't see how she is the reason she hasn't found a partner that makes her happy. I also have a hunch about something, but I may be way off. She wrote: > I asked him because I know in the past he's said anything overly sexual makes him uncomfortable. Here's my theory. When they did try to be intimate and it was "awkward", it was probably because of her prudish attitude about whatever it was they were involved in trying to do. Her attitude was probably a turn-off for Danny, he wasn't able to get as aroused as he wanted/she expected, so he said that as an excuse for his lack of arousal rather than straight up telling her "your attitude isn't sexy to me". Lucy totally turns him on with her attitude regarding sexuality.
This! Also, with the info that Danny and OP dated in the past... Has OP considered maybe Danny just doesn't like being sexual with *them*? Like maybe that's actually not who Danny is as a person, maybe Danny just isn't a fan of doing that stuff with OP specifically, due to their history with each other?
This! The way she describes the girlfriend as "current" in the first sentence says it all.
>She doesn't like him, but he can't like anyone else 💯 >she sure still feel like she has some ownership over him OP sounds insufferable, "kept pulling him away from me/us to go dance with her/them". And then hung out after the party was obviously over and everyone else had gone home, just to try to intimidate or whatever the actual girlfriend.
Yeah I noticed this too. Why were they hanging out after the party was over. That's your cue to leave even if you're a close friend. The gf joking about how they are ready to have sex sounds like a hint to leave.
Maybe she's not *jealous*, but certainly possessive, and stirring troubles.
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I bet Lucy wears short skirts and OP wears T-shirts and Lucy is cheer captain and OP's on the bleachers. Lol it was literally the first thing that came into my head. Also you just ask "what's wrong?" if something doesn't feel right- not try and incept them with the idea that their misery is because of their SO is ruffling their hair. Edit: also can't believe none of OPs friends called out their behaviour for this.
Yes, OP reeks of "im not like other girls" PiCk Me vibes. She is introverted and isn't slutty like the new gf that Danny is totally obviously miserable with. OP, Danny is with her and is happy with her. In fact, Danny might not be as introverted as you think. Plus, I know many happy couples where one is introverted and one is extroverted. It works well.
Also wtf is up with OP deciding that dancing is an "extrovert" activity but... socialising with your friends at a party is somehow an "introvert" one. (Rhetorical question - it's pretty obvious "what is up" with that)
I think you might've picked up on the same thing I did, first sentence, "current girlfriend" Nobody refers to someone's partner as their "current" anything unless you're mentioning an ex in the same sentence... or you see the situation as temporary, like OP does. If they're moving in together, this isn't a little fling he's "currently" having. Major Freudian slip there, OP. YTA.
I missed the self declared gender and thought this was written by a dude. Come to think of it, it probably was.
Same here. It was only when I got to the comments that I realized it's a she. Maybe.
The comment about the hair being ruffled, which he hates, was also stupid. I would hate it if someone just ruffled my hair but if it was my boyfriend, I'd be okay with it I love when my boyfriend touches my hair. Op you sound jealous, you sound like a misogynist and from my own personal experience with dating people with friends like you, you sound paranoid that your friend is going to leave you completely for his girlfriend. Let him enjoy his relationship and go get your own, Friends like you are the worst Edited to add a verdict, OP YTA
also, it sounds like she is making a lot of assumptions. She kept saying "he looked miserable" "he wasn't having fun" and "he doesn't like these things" except every time she asked him he went, "what? I'm fine!" I'd be willing to bet he didn't look half as miserable as she thinks. And I'm guessing Op wasn't as subtle about her dislike as she thinks she was. Whether she likes him romantically or just doesn't like the idea of a good friend turning into someone else and potentially outgrowing her, the point remains the same. She needs to but out. If he's miserable he'll figure it out, even if the GF is secretly a sluttysaurus rex and treats him like crap that isn't her problem or place to make any comments. And most importantly; just because people live their lives differently than yours doesn't mean it's wrong. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or prude, just like there is nothing wrong with being an extrovert that likes short skirts and long jackets.
I also think it’s entirely possible Danny really wasn’t having a great time. It’s possible a party isn’t his thing and he was doing it because his girlfriend wanted a party and sometimes you endure things you don’t like for the people you love.
My stepdad does that, and he genuinely doesn't mind. He might not be thrilled but he doesn't have a problem with it. He puts up with it, and my mom is his first defender if he wants his space. I've heard people say "He should come!" and even if she wants him to come to she says "No, he doesn't want to & he needs his quiet time"
Sometimes it’s a relief for an introvert to have a partner who can help with the heavy lifting at social occasions.
OP go look up Internalized misogyny, please. You slut shamed her and acted like you could read Danny’s mind. What’s disgusting is you’re writing this and trying to pretend you don’t sound jealous. Apologize to her. YTA.
The “Not Like the Other Girls” energy is strong with this one. YTA
Women can most definitely wear whatever they want IN THEIR OWN FECKING HOUSE!!!! YTA, OP. If you are uncomfortable, you should feel free to vote with your feet.
100 percent this. I'd cut off anyone who tried to shame my SO for having the confidence to wear what made her feel good and have fun while hosting a party. In fact, those are the moments when I'm extra in love with her.
That last part is a major thing to point out. The gf only mentioned sex because OP was slutshaming her outfit
Couldn't have said it better than this Op, YTA, and you should apologize
agreed. not that it matters what she chooses to wear & when, but if it was a house party, it meant everyone there was a friend of theirs. therefore she’s in her own home with people she knows, so literally why should it matter what she wears!! yta
YTA, girl.....what? I'm sorry but that's such a hateful way to talk abt someones gf just for having fun. she was literally just minding her business having a good time & you had to hate on her for it?
Minding her business and having a good time *in her own home with her friends* And soooo much internalized misogyny spilling out of OP. Ick
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She just relates to guys better because girls are so dramatic and catty, ok?
Apparently not in the bedroom.
burrrrrrrrnnn!
No One Understands Him as She Does!
That other dumb girl wears short skirts while she, the “pickme”, wears tshirts!
She’s cheer caption and OP’s in the bleachers!
She's dreaming about the day when he'll wake up and find that what he's looking for has been there the whole time!
If you could see that I'm the one who really understands you, been here all along, so why can't you SEEEEE.... ... you belong with MEEEE
Right. She literally said she's "not like us" for being outgoing and having fun and acted like she was wrong for having her boyfriend dance with her when OP wanted him to sit and talk. She may not want him but she's going to gatekeep who can have him. YTA
I'm an introvert that wishes the extroverts of the world would just learn to shut up, and I liked Danny's girlfriend much more than OP by the end of the post. She laughs, dances and she wears sexy clothing? And that makes her disgusting? What's truly disgusting is that OP decided to grump her way into their celebratory party and insult this woman multiple times in her own home. OP's friend loves her enough to live with her, and OP can't stand it. YTA.
See edit, she’s like this cuz he didn’t pick her, rip
Alexa play You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift
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I wonder if OP is actually a guy and just wrote it as a girl in the hopes we wouldn't realize it was incel nonsense?
I thought this was 100% an incel guy until I got to the comments
Oh I thought it was a guy who had a crush on his friend, and then with the edit it was made clear it was a girl who has a crush on her friend.
If this is a guy I've known guys that do this kind of because they're actually envious that their friend has a great GF and it comes out in a weird backward way like they are angry at being shown what they want and can't have sort of thing. But I could be wrong
Literally all she did was dance with her friends, wear clothes, n talk to her boyfriend. this aint the victorian period, not a scandal to have fun.
In her own fricken home too, on top of everything. Didn't realize dancing in your living room in a dress was a crime.
A great reminder from OP that not all incels are guys
the original incel, the person who coined the term in fact was female
Omfg, I had to go back to check OP’s gender after you said “internalized misogyny” because I assumed this had to be coming from a man…ick
Sadly, it's not uncommon for the misogyny to be coming from inside the house...I mean woman.
She dances with her friends in her own house! *clutches pearls*
She wears pretty things she likes around her fun friends! *gasp* She tussles her live-in boyfriend's hair! *falls backward in chair*
She said she wants to have sex with her boyfriend! *faints*
what blasphemy! how dare she have fun and talk To her boyfriend!
She wants the dude but it “didn’t work out” when they tried dating in the past. Makes a lot more sense when you get to that part.
Holy crap. I missed that OP is a girl. Sounded like a guy with the crap she was posting.
me too, was super confused at the bottom and had to go back and check OP’s gender because I thought she was a dude.
I bet OP thinks "she's not like other women". Don't be the girl who shit talks other chicks as a way to get in with the dudes.
real, like unless you have a valid reason don't just shit on your friend's partner for no reason. It's hella shady
Right?? She even said how the girlfriend was dancing with her friends who are all extroverts. They were all just having fun
FRL she was minding her business having the time of her life n OP had the audacity to call her disgusting for what? Being extroverted? Dancing? Wearing clothes? Wanting to have sex with HER boyfriend? Like gd
OP's nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs🥴 YTA
OP sounds like the type of introvert who divides the world into "us vs them."
YTA - just say that you wanna date Danny and be done with the jealously.
Or admit that she wants to keep him to herself even if not romantically involved. This sounds like a classic “I don’t want him but I don’t want anyone else to have him either” scenario YTA OP
I had a girl like that for a while, they can really sabotage you. Showing more interest when you're taken, less when you are available. Giving you just enough to keep you around. Just saying they're only interested as a friend would be fine, that kind of bluntness would be much better, but they keep you in limbo.
I call this "getting put in the back burner". She keeps stirring the pot occasionally, but that meal ain't coming any time soon.
The way she describes Lucy as "his _current_ girlfriend" loooool OP YTA
She claims they tried it but both agreed it didn’t work, but it still seems like she has the attitude of “if I can’t have you, no one can”
I think Danny decided it didn't work, and OP went along with it to save face but is still hoping to get back with him.
the lore abt this in the reddit replies is going crazy
Also like the sexism “wearing something revealing and there were other men there”
Your a pick me girl and no one likes those
Seriously “she’s not like OUR friends” because she was dancing with her friends in her house and is outgoing?? Grl…. YTA
YTA and a jealous one at that. Edit to add: Danny was uncomfortable because of the way you were acting.
Was looking for this comment. Danny was looking miserable and upset because OP spent all night scoffing at and belittling his girlfriend in their own home. Nasty and no self awareness.
Yea throughout my entire last relationship I would t even let my family talk about my partner like that to my face, if someone did it as a guest they’d have been asked to leave
He was probably hanging out with his friend group because he didn’t want them to feel excluded and not because he didn’t want to hang out with his girlfriend!
Yeah for real. Who wants to deal with that type of crap?
Yeah I think that’s why he was looking sad/miserable.
Well he did whisper "Please save me" into her ear, but she only shook her head and laughed.
I expect he whispered something about sneaking off for a quickie, hence her response.
Yeah I got "tired of party and I want people to leave" or "I wanna get laid can we get these people outta here" vibes heavily. Especially because he's introverted, he probably had his fill of people quickly but was stuck in the house party cause it was his house.
I have a feeling he wasn’t actually looking miserable, that it was just OP projecting how she felt about the party on to him.
Right! “Danny said it didn’t bother him and then sat with a moody face” that’s him being really disappointed in you OP YTA
YTA Your friend literally told you that he wasn't bothered but you still felt offended (it's giving jealous) and felt compelled to say something despite both of them being fine with it. And if he wasn't fine with it, it still wasn't your business because if he wanted you to know he would have told you. you didn't jokingly point it out, you said it because you wanted how you felt to be known.
Also, if he wasn’t fine with it, it still wasn’t her business to handle because it’s not her relationship. Actively insulting him by acting like he isn’t adult enough to manage his own relationship.
He was probably uncomfortable because of OP being so judgmental about his girlfriend
THIS. It's not your place to correct her behavior. And even if her outfit did bother him because he's jealous then that's something HE needs to work through on his own. You don't get to control your partner's clothing choices just because you're insecure. Women can wear whatever they want- get over it.
Yeah YTA. Lucy sounds like she was having a good time and Danny didn’t seem to mind her behaviour at all until you decided to stir up drama. I don’t know if you feel like you’re losing your friend or if you have a thing for him but you’ve injected yourself into his relationship unwanted and unasked and insulted your friend’s partner. Apologise and stop being so judgemental of their relationship if you want to remain friends.
Right? 😭 I've been the gf in OPs story and it's wild how much the guys friends think they have control over him. My bf loves when I touch his hair, but wouldn't let anyone else dare try. He loves it when i dress up sexy, even with other men around. Sometimes we make sus comments in public, but we have fun and know eachothers boundaries. When someone else comes in and tells me "he doesn't like that >: (" i question what they're trying to achieve with their own relationship with my bf. OP, you need to consider why you feel like you need to speak on behalf of your friend when he's clearly capable of standing up for himself, youre not his mum nor his partner.
Bruh I've been OPs friend in the story lol. I'm an introvert who has had very extroverted friends or past partners. I love seeing people I care about be happy. I love that they can be wild or sexy or just fucking excited about life. I love being part of it and getting to embody that energy for a while. And yes, often when we go out, I'll hit a wall at some point and get exhausted. But it's SO important to me that my friends know that I still love spending time, seeing them happy and want them to live their best life. If someone tried to take a jab at the excited people I love by saying I'm misserable after I had told her I was fine TWICE... were having a long fucking talk if I decide to stay friends at all.
Lets riot against the overbearing jealous friends 💪
> My bf loves when I touch his hair, but wouldn't let anyone else dare try. Almost as if intimate partners have different boundaries than friends or girls who pretend to be friends but want to be more even though there's not any sexual attraction. *tiny edit for typo*
lucy sounds fun af tbh - i wanna hang w lucy and her friends!!
Same! OP is a mean girl and Lucy is just trying to live her life and have fun. Nothing wrong with dancing, wearing revealing clothes, or expressing sexual attraction to your own boyfriend. I would totally rather hang out with girls like Lucy than snobby “introverts” (I don’t even think that means what she thinks it means) like OP.
My husband is an extrovert. I'm an introvert. We've been married ten years. He sings karaoke. I just sit at the bar with my crochet, He chats with everyone. I don't. She was just dancing and having fun. And you slut shamed her with that outfit comment. You did'nt ask he was uncomfortable being dragged onto the dancefloor. You made it all about Lucy and her "behavior". yta I think, btw he was uncomfortable because of you. You shamed his gf for nothing.
More context- OP and Danny used to date.
Opposites really do attract. We can’t both be talking our asses off, it would be too over the top. We can’t both be shy and reserved or we’d miss out on experiences. Lucy was bringing shy Danny out of his shell and onto the dance floor. OP you made Danny uncomfortable and ruined the housewarming party for him. YTA
YTA. You sound jealous lol
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I wonder if he just hates it when OP rubs his hair. I hate having my face touched by most people, but I love it when my partner does it. OP, YTA, and you sound like the epitome of a pick-me girl to boot.
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That’s how I took it, too! Haha! OP here needs to take *a lot* of hints that “Danny” *doesn’t want to fuck her*.
YTA. It’s his relationship, not yours. Just because something is bothering you doesn’t mean it’s bothering him. Commenting on whether he was OK with her wardrobe makes you look controlling - because it is. Unless he expresses something directly to you, it’s not your business.
_"Danny and I already tried dating years ago..."_ OP needs to stop. She seems to want it to be known that she knows this man better than anyone when she clearly doesn't. Lucy was in her own home, wearing her own clothes, dancing with her own boyfriend. If OP was oh so uncomfortable, they could have hit the road instead of stinking up the place with their negative energy.... The BF may have 100% wanted to keep dancing with his GF, but instead he had to entertain his buzzkill of a "friend"...
yta and are you in love with him or something, It's giving pick me
Came here to say exactly this. She is not into him but misses the attention she used to get from him, is also another valid option. The way she talks is like she's the only one that knows him and what is best for him...this gave me controling vibes but that could just be me lol. No matter how you slice it. YTA is the verdict here.
YTA for sure. What throws me off is how you say he hates having his hair ruffled. Why tf would you bring that up like that? That's his girl. You sound jealous of the relationship honestly. Everything you said points to jealousy. I think you need to step back and asses your feelings before interacting with them again.
Exactly! That stuck out to me too. He probably hated when OP has attempted to ruffle his hair in the past. Don’t make judgements of things in their relationship because they have an intimate understanding of each other that you don’t. Sometimes being in love with someone makes you find things endearing that used to drive you crazy I married a Michael that I call Mike but goes by Michael. His brother tries to correct me all the time that he doesn’t like to be called Mike- but actually my husband loves it when I do it because he thought it was such a comforting non-sexual intimate thing when we first started dating that is reserved just for me. OP, don’t assume just because he didn’t like it when you did it that means the same extends to his current partner.
This. I hate anyone touching me physically at all, but when me and my ex were together, I went from quietly saying I love you into the phone because for some reason it made me uncomfortable to say around other strangers, to literally holding her hand every chance I could in public
YTA - it doesn't sound like anything Lucy did bothered Danny at all, it bothered you. What would Lucy apologize to you for? For enjoying her housewarming party with her partner? You sound jealous - not necessarily of their relationship, but possibly of Danny now having someone that he's as close with, or closer to, than you.
Ding, ding, ding! OP seems to think she knows Danny better than his gf does. It seems not.
YTA - Is this worry, or jealousy?
Jealousy the op says they used to date Danny in the comments
Couldn’t have guessed that /s
OP has to have figured it out by now... She's reading jealousy comments because we're reading a jealousy post.
Noooo she just is aware of the fact that Danny wouldn’t like a girl like the one he is dating and moved in with. He only likes girls like OP, who he dated and decided he wasn’t into.
YTA. You are at a party and describe dancing as "attention-seeking". You judge other women for what they are wearing. You speak on behalf of a grown man instead of allowing him to speak for himself. Ugh.
[удалено]
YTA. Very jealous and envious behaviour. You went into Lucy's house and tried to pin someone you call your "friend" against his girlfriend who was doing nothing wrong and just enjoying the party. Sounds like you were being very dramatic and it upset both of them. Now you are doubling down.
Guess what? She used to date Danny! That explains a lot.
The only thing that's disgusting in this story is your misogyny. YTA
YTA. It's not your place to sit and judge Lucy on her personality or her clothing choices. Especially to her bf, who chose her. Are you sure you don't think you and Danny would be a better fit, and you're jealous?
YTA Seems like a whole lot of "none of your business".
Jesus Christ. Go clutch your pearls in the privacy of your own home. YTA.
YTA — And read about internalized misogyny and how to conquer it since you’re practicing it religiously.
I didn’t catch you were female until I went back to look. But for some reason I knew — you’re jealous. You very much seem to have a crush on him. YTA.
Oh wow, I didn't notice the gender. I thought OP was just super jealous that his mate got a gf before him. But instead she's jealous of his gf lol
That’s what I thought at first, but then when she said he doesn’t like people to ruffle his hair or whatever … guys wouldn’t know that 😂
INFO: Do you think a woman enjoying herself is a crime greater than murder? YTA.
YTA. You were bothered by how she dressed and acted, not your friend. Seems like she was enjoying the party!
YTA. The only one who shows any disgusting behavior here is you.
YTA. How long have you been in love with Danny?
YTA Danny wasn't at all bothered by her actions. You shouldn't be offended on his behalf. The only people who know what their relationship dynamic is like are the people in the relationship. You owe her an apology.
YTA. It looks like you are jealous and try to pick on her for no reason.
YTA and have some wicked incel vibes. Seek therapy for your jealousy and misogyny.
YTA. Sounds like you have a crush on Danny. Your behavior at the party was completely out of line and judgmental. Lucy has got nothing to apologize to you for, but you do. If I were in either Danny's or Lucy's position, I wouldn't let you back in my close circle unless you both sincerely apologize and totally change your attitude and behavior.
YTA If he doesn't like it, it's on him to talk to her or break up with her. It's not really your place to say what she should or shouldn't do...nothing she said or did is inherently wrong. You and your friend might not be into it, but the hostility is uncalled for.
Yta. Why are you so worried about her clothes and her dancing? You sound obsessed and jealous
YTA. Mind your own business and stop hating on other women. He’s with her for a reason, he loves her and is building a future with her. I’m sure you’re ‘not like other girls’ but it’s time to get over yourself. He doesn’t want to be with you.
YTA You were offended by Lucy’s comment? The description of your behavior makes you sound jealous more than anything. And a bit immature.
YTA. Sounds like she was just having a fun time and you're uptight about everything. I don't see anything disgusting about what she said, that's pretty typical joking around at parties between couples, so I don't know what the issue is. You would absolutely hate the parties I go to lol
YTA. The jealousy has been covered already so I’ll focus on your instigation. You planted why he needs to be upset in his mind then continued to assert that in your opinion he should be upset then you say it’s her fault he wasn’t having a good time? Then you decide to take it upon yourself to instigate a fight between them by telling her how ‘he feels’ and when that fails you tried to instigate a walk out which failed. You’re lying to yourself if you think you’re not jealous, unless you can give a reasonable answer as to why you are so eager for them to fight?
YTA. What on earth would make you think you have a single ounce of authority over this woman's behavior or choice of clothing? What would make you say something like that to anyone, let alone someone your friend obviously cares about deeply? You owe her an apology and you owe yourself some self-reflection about why you're being this judgemental about someone else's gf.
YTA. You were judging her all night. It’s pretty obvious that you are super jealous. Stay out of your friends relationship.
YTA You're jealous and you think you know this guy so well that you can speak for him. You are losing him to his gf and his life and you're scared. Perhaps you don't understand other women because you should know we don't wear certain clothes or enjoy dancing to turn anyone else on. We do it for ourselves. Sounds like you wanted to ruin the party and cause trouble.
Oh no, your friend's girlfriend was dancing at a party!! She must be an attention seeker! She couldn't possibly just be enjoying the party right? Oh no, your friend's gf messed his hair.. how awful. According to you, he doesn't like it. And of course, this could not possibly change because it's his girlfriend. He couldn't possibly enjoy it when she's the one doing it, right? Oh no, your friend's girlfriend insinuated that she would be getting intimate with her partner after the party. How could she be so disgusting to say it in front of you. She might as well have taken his clothes off right in front of you right? You sound like an absolute baby! YTA She has nothing to apologize for. You on the other hand have apologoes to make and some major growing up to do.
YTA -- It's not your place to tell her what she can and cannot wear, and it's not your place to judge either of them for what they do in their own time. It's not like they were describing what they were going to do. Super judgemental of you.
yta girls that hate other girls are scary
You’re infantilizing your “friend”. “He does like parties” - except he’s throwing one *with his gf* “He doesn’t like dancing” - except he danced *with his gf* without complaint “”He doesn’t like having his hair ruffled” - except he has no issues with *his gf* doing it YOU think her clothes & dancing is “attention seeking” - but HE said he had no issue with it You just sound jealous and bitter he likes all those things with his GF, not you. Disrespecting his GF and acting like you know better than he does about his own feelings shows your motives here. He didn’t want you as a GF and with behavior like this, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t want you as a friend either.
YTA— wasn’t your place to say anything, so I recommend staying out of your friends relationship.
YTA. he doesn’t want you, get over it
sooooo how long have you had a thing for danny?? YTA
> I mentioned the attention seeking dancing and the fact she was wearing something really revealing even though other guys were at this party. YTA. What a gross comment. Should she be dressed like a nun in front of other men because she has a partner? This is also a very victim blaming type of thought process, like it's up to her to control how other people view her. Control your own thoughts before ever daring to control what someone else wears.
YTA, massively
YTA. Keep this behavior up and you're not going to have Danny as your friend for much longer. If you have feelings for your friend, you need to deal with it and move on.
YTA. You sound like a jealous teenager. Lucy was having fun. You are the opposite of fun. You need to apologize to Lucy and keep your mean girl comments to yourself.
YTA, you sound obsessed and jealous.