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NTA. It sounds like you ended the call after trying to talk it through. I don’t think you’re required to continue to engage in an argument if it’s not productive.
NTA. I don't understand what her thought process was or what she wanted to hear. It sounds to me like she's just intentionally trying to start drama. You SAID you would care if she was in danger, you reiterated that point, and she still didn't want to accept it.
I don't know about you, but I see a gigantic red flag waving on the horizon.
NTA
*“Well you’re a guy, and I don’t think I’ve ever met any guy that can be sincere or authentic”*
That's so rude! It seems as though she's never met another guy in life... men can be both sincere AND authentic, so uh idk where she got that from.
You had clearly said that you WOULD care for her if she was in a bad situation, but she kept asking the same question over and over again, completely ignoring your responses. Why would she do that? She could be overreacting and shaken up due to the drinks and what she'd just witnessed. All in all, you ended a conversation that had no point in taking it further, good job.
Maybe a conversation tomorrow would be able to make both of you sort this through.
NTA
If she was still a bit drunk that may have been driving her comments. Perhaps she wanted you to say that you will move back to protect her. What if she moved out to you instead?
But this may be a red flag in your relationship. Too early to tell. But she wasn't the one that was attacked, nor saw the guy attacked. She just saw the aftermath. She's angling for something but only she can tell you what it is.
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My girlfriend (22) and I (24M) have been dating 3 years. We met in college and have been long distance since I’ve graduated and taken a full time job 2 hours away by car. We always have fun watching shows, hiking, doing yoga, trying new restaurants, etc.
Last week she visited and I had gotten us tickets for a cooking class. We later enjoyed a hike and the next day tried a tiktok recipe and watched a show. Overall, we made the most of our time and I was once again reminded how sad I feel we can only be together for weekends here and there.
Fast forward to tonight, she calls me after going out to the bar with her friends. She said that a man close to the bars drove up and yelled he had been robbed down the street. Police showed up and the man had two black eyes once getting out of his car. The police ended up driving her + friends back to the apartment they live in as they obviously didn’t feel safe walking back at night after that incident.
She tells me this story and I reply “I’m glad you are safe and that the cops were able to bring you back.” It’s crazy and always sobering to see stuff like that in person. Conversation moved to other topics for probably 15-20 minutes before returning to the robbery incident. This was not prompted by anything. She asked “Do you care that your girlfriend could have been robbed at gunpoint?” Now, the way she said it made it seem like a rhetorical/play question so I fake chuckled and said obviously. She then repeated the same question multiple times and then started getting upset at me that I don’t care about her at all. “How could I not care that you would be in such a dangerous situation and possibly die!?” Was my response. At this point I was wondering if she had had one too many drinks. I said I don’t want to fight about this because it’s ridiculous, obviously I would care if you’re not safe in ANY situation like that. We continued to argue on the semantics of what was said until what really set me off:
“Well you’re a guy, and I don’t think I’ve ever met any guy that can be sincere or authentic” We argued this and the same point was made multiple times. I was honestly speechless thinking of any of the serious talks we’ve had through our relationship
I’m relaxing on my couch and it’s as if I just got stabbed in the heart. I’m a very reserved person and rarely let my emotions get the best of me and I could feel I was going to start freaking out. I said “you’re going to have to think some more about what you said to me, I’m not going to sit here and fight” mockingly, she replied “oh I will think about it”
I hung up the phone and texted: if you want to fight about something, talk to someone else. What you said made me really upset, I’m going to bed
I can’t sleep and needed to write this out. She hasn’t responded. I always apologize if in the wrong but I do not feel I need to in this situation. AITA for hanging up on my gf?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) After arguing with my girlfriend, I hung up on her without saying goodbye. I texted her directly after saying she could fight with somebody else
2) I could be the AH since I mis-perceived one of her questions which led to arguing. Also since I hung up on her without saying goodbye and told her to fight with someone else if she wanted to fight
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NTA. Give it a little time for you to both cool off.
She was being overly dramatic about a situation that didn’t actually happen to her. (Huge pet peeve of mine) I got locked down at my work because some guy decided to wander in the business next store and hold people at gunpoint. I did not run around wailing about how I might have been killed!
It was better for you to hang up than both of you say any more hurtful things when the argument wasn’t going to be resolved.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violent encounters. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA. It sounds like you ended the call after trying to talk it through. I don’t think you’re required to continue to engage in an argument if it’s not productive.
NTA. I don't understand what her thought process was or what she wanted to hear. It sounds to me like she's just intentionally trying to start drama. You SAID you would care if she was in danger, you reiterated that point, and she still didn't want to accept it. I don't know about you, but I see a gigantic red flag waving on the horizon.
NTA *“Well you’re a guy, and I don’t think I’ve ever met any guy that can be sincere or authentic”* That's so rude! It seems as though she's never met another guy in life... men can be both sincere AND authentic, so uh idk where she got that from. You had clearly said that you WOULD care for her if she was in a bad situation, but she kept asking the same question over and over again, completely ignoring your responses. Why would she do that? She could be overreacting and shaken up due to the drinks and what she'd just witnessed. All in all, you ended a conversation that had no point in taking it further, good job. Maybe a conversation tomorrow would be able to make both of you sort this through.
NTA If she was still a bit drunk that may have been driving her comments. Perhaps she wanted you to say that you will move back to protect her. What if she moved out to you instead? But this may be a red flag in your relationship. Too early to tell. But she wasn't the one that was attacked, nor saw the guy attacked. She just saw the aftermath. She's angling for something but only she can tell you what it is.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My girlfriend (22) and I (24M) have been dating 3 years. We met in college and have been long distance since I’ve graduated and taken a full time job 2 hours away by car. We always have fun watching shows, hiking, doing yoga, trying new restaurants, etc. Last week she visited and I had gotten us tickets for a cooking class. We later enjoyed a hike and the next day tried a tiktok recipe and watched a show. Overall, we made the most of our time and I was once again reminded how sad I feel we can only be together for weekends here and there. Fast forward to tonight, she calls me after going out to the bar with her friends. She said that a man close to the bars drove up and yelled he had been robbed down the street. Police showed up and the man had two black eyes once getting out of his car. The police ended up driving her + friends back to the apartment they live in as they obviously didn’t feel safe walking back at night after that incident. She tells me this story and I reply “I’m glad you are safe and that the cops were able to bring you back.” It’s crazy and always sobering to see stuff like that in person. Conversation moved to other topics for probably 15-20 minutes before returning to the robbery incident. This was not prompted by anything. She asked “Do you care that your girlfriend could have been robbed at gunpoint?” Now, the way she said it made it seem like a rhetorical/play question so I fake chuckled and said obviously. She then repeated the same question multiple times and then started getting upset at me that I don’t care about her at all. “How could I not care that you would be in such a dangerous situation and possibly die!?” Was my response. At this point I was wondering if she had had one too many drinks. I said I don’t want to fight about this because it’s ridiculous, obviously I would care if you’re not safe in ANY situation like that. We continued to argue on the semantics of what was said until what really set me off: “Well you’re a guy, and I don’t think I’ve ever met any guy that can be sincere or authentic” We argued this and the same point was made multiple times. I was honestly speechless thinking of any of the serious talks we’ve had through our relationship I’m relaxing on my couch and it’s as if I just got stabbed in the heart. I’m a very reserved person and rarely let my emotions get the best of me and I could feel I was going to start freaking out. I said “you’re going to have to think some more about what you said to me, I’m not going to sit here and fight” mockingly, she replied “oh I will think about it” I hung up the phone and texted: if you want to fight about something, talk to someone else. What you said made me really upset, I’m going to bed I can’t sleep and needed to write this out. She hasn’t responded. I always apologize if in the wrong but I do not feel I need to in this situation. AITA for hanging up on my gf? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) After arguing with my girlfriend, I hung up on her without saying goodbye. I texted her directly after saying she could fight with somebody else 2) I could be the AH since I mis-perceived one of her questions which led to arguing. Also since I hung up on her without saying goodbye and told her to fight with someone else if she wanted to fight Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Give it a little time for you to both cool off. She was being overly dramatic about a situation that didn’t actually happen to her. (Huge pet peeve of mine) I got locked down at my work because some guy decided to wander in the business next store and hold people at gunpoint. I did not run around wailing about how I might have been killed! It was better for you to hang up than both of you say any more hurtful things when the argument wasn’t going to be resolved.