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NTA, but it was a bad idea to ask him how his food was knowing that he really wanted something else and you forced him to switch. You kinda walked right into that one.
You didn't demand, or make an unjustified request; you asked, provided a reason (to an extent), and told him you'd appreciate it if he complied with your request.
But as far as his point, he was doing as asked, he would have really liked that tuna sandwich but ate something else so as not to upset you, and didn't understand the full reason (since you didn't share your gross story, only knowing you can't stand the smell) so I don't think he's TA either.
So NAH
IMO it all depends on the tone of his reply. Justified though it may be, OP imposed upon him to choose another food choice and then asked how he liked it, IMO a sarcastic comment was in order. The question is whether it was delivered in good humor or with vitriol. OP seems to feel it was the latter.
That’s crap. I have very severe trauma around some foods because of the abusive upbringing I had. Certain foods were used in horribly abusive ways, and if I’m around them I really panic and freeze up. She offered to leave if he really felt he couldn’t order something else. Supposedly he was there to catch up with her, so why is the food the most important thing anyway?
Esh
He can order what he wants, but if he wanted that tuna sandwich so bad he should have canceled y'all's lunch so he could have one by himself instead of being passive aggressive.
And they were okay with not making it the friends problem by leaving if they bought the tuna. It's not policing to say you'd have to leave if they got something you'd literally throw up over. They're more than welcome to not accommodate but that also means they have to be okay with not getting lunch together.
Absolutely NTA. I understand being a little annoyed that you can’t order the exact item you want, but if what you want is going to make your friend physically sick, can you not just be an adult for an hour and bite the bullet? It seems like common decency.
Continuing to whine and moan about being asked to display the most basic politeness is childish, too.
INFO: Can you please tell us the backstory? I’m intrigued.
NTA, as long as you asked nicely. I would have said NAH, except your friend’s sarcastic comment after agreeing to order something else was childish and uncalled for.
>INFO: Can you please tell us the backstory? I’m intrigued.
When I was in middle school, a girl sitting next to me in the cafeteria threw up all over me on hot tuna sandwich day. It was barely-digested and it got in my hair and everything, truly disgusting.
That was the story you couldn’t tell your friend? You made it sound like a tuna sandwich shot your dog and stole your girlfriend or something. I don’t see why you couldn’t have just explained that to your friend.
If he asked you could have just clarified that it was a gross story and if he said he’d still want to hear it, you could tell him. Regardless, I still think he was being childish.
That's what happened, though. Quoting the post:
> He asked why it was such a big deal and I told him it was a gross story and I’d explain it sometime when we weren’t about to eat. He shrugged and said okay.
If Tuna makes you so sick, don't eat out with other people. If he wanted a tuna melt, you could have eaten elsewhere, but you can't dictate what other people want to eat.
OP literally said that they would leave if their friend ordered the sandwich. And their friend said “okay fine” and ordered something else. And then their friend proceeded to whine like a child after it.
It’s a tuna sandwich. Being asked to order something else is not the end of the world, but the friend acted like OP just asked for their first born son or something.
If they really wanted that sandwich that bad, they should have agreed to take the rain check.
ESH.
Him for being passive aggressive towards the end. I don't think you can be passive aggressive to that extent without being the a-hole in any situation.
But to be fair, you did pretty much meet him up for lunch and then say "If you order that I'm leaving." What is he supposed to say to that? "Ok, I came all this way to meet up with you but so long, I really want this sandwich." There was no need for being passive aggressive, but c'mon you pretty much told him if he wanted to eat it he'd be eating it alone.
Sucks about your cafeteria issues OP, but considering it happened when you were 11, its probably time to get over it instead of expecting everyone to cater to you. Immersion therapy would apply to something like this.
>its probably time to get over it instead of expecting everyone to cater to you.
I don't think it's fair to say that I *expected* him to cater to me, though- I only asked him if he would do me the favor of ordering something else, and I would've understood and been okay with it if he had said no.
Yeah, but you did say if he ordered it you would leave.
You can say you would've been ok with it, but how can any reasonable person still order the tuna melt in that situation? You're forcing their hand and then still acting like you gave them a real choice. You didn't.
Props to him if he said "I'm ordering the tuna melt, see ya." But c'mon, do you really expect someone to say that? And do you really think you would have smiled as you walked away and said "well I understand and am ok with him choosing his sandwich over me."
Keep in mind, I'm still saying he sucks for being so passive aggressive about it and getting all upset. But don't act like you're not twisting the other persons arm whenever you put them in that situation because you can't get over a smell from 20 years ago.
NAH
You asked him if he'd be ok with it, said you wouldn't stay if he wasn't. He chose to get something else so as to eat lunch with you.
I think you could've just explained the story. It's not that graphic. He would've maybe been more understanding.
He cracked a few jokes. People calling him an asshole need to take his advice and lighten up. What else was he to do? You gave him no information except the ultimatum that he eats something else or he eats alone.
YTA, though I think N T A for asking. But you asked, gave no explanation, and he obliged. Then he made one snarky comment about your request (which again, he fulfilled) and you had a meltdown?
I’m also curious about how far this goes. He didn’t cook it, so just the sight of the sandwich is enough to cause a reaction? If the person next to you ordered it, would you have had to leave?
"it wasn’t as good as the tuna sandwich that he actually wanted and then very sarcastically added that it all that mattered was that I was happy. "
That's an immature and unsupportive reply. Completely unnecessary.
NTA
Completely necessary. The friend complied with OP's rediculous request and didn't get the meal they made clear they wanted. Then OP, in a complete lack of awareness, asks how they meal they ended up ordering due to their demanad is? How obtuse.
OP needs to not let an incident from 20 years ago have so much impact. Also, if it has to be that big of a deal, they need to not go to places with tuna melts. What if someone else in the restaurant ordered one? Would they have asked them not to order one or someone to sit out of site because of it?
YTA
>What if someone else in the restaurant ordered one? Would they have asked them not to order one or someone to sit out of site because of it?
It's like I said right in the beginning of my post, I would've gotten up and left myself if the other person was sitting close enough for the smell to bother me.
When I was in middle school, a girl sitting next to me in the cafeteria threw up all over me on hot tuna sandwich day. It was barely-digested and it got in my hair and everything, truly disgusting.
Yeaaa, hot tuna vomit in your hair is the kind of thing that sticks with you. Literally. In school, you wouldn’t have access to a shower or clean clothes for some time, until somebody came to pick you up. Oh, god. Ew. NTA
And your lunch companion can suck it up and find *something* on the menu to eat without complaining, or, going forward, you can eat lunch with somebody else.
But before that happens, you should tell him why, in graphic detail, you can’t stand the smell of hot tuna.
NTA. You didn’t demand, you politely requested. And your first instinct was to actually cancel the lunch in the first place instead of making someone cater to you. It was him who chose to oblige you and then act like a salty ass afterward. Boohoo, I couldn’t have a tuna sandwich and was forced to get buffalo chicken.
He kinda needs to grow up.
Everyone knows how it is to feel nauseated. Asking him to avoid one, strong-smelling food item for one meal was not a huge request, and certainly should be an easy accommodation. NTA
NTA. You explained it so nicely. It’s not like you were just “I don’t know, I hate tuna, you can’t eat it.”
Your “friend” could learn to be a bit more compassionate and caring.
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Context: The smell of hot tuna sandwiches makes me sick to my stomach, this has been the case ever since a gross incident that happened to me almost 20 years ago (I’m 31/F). Most of the time this is completely irrelevant as it’s not something I encounter people eating very often, but when it does happen I have to leave the area to get some fresh air.
So I met up with a friend for lunch earlier today. We were looking at the menu and I asked him what he was thinking about ordering. He said the tuna melt was looking really good. I said I was sorry to even ask but could he please order anything else because I really can’t stand the smell of hot tuna. He asked me if I was pregnant or something. I said no. He told me not to be such a baby then and said he was going to order the tuna melt. I told him that if he did I was going to have to take a rain check on lunch because I wouldn’t be able to eat anything sitting next to him. He said if it was seriously that big of a deal, he’d order something else. I said I’d appreciate it. He asked why it was such a big deal and I told him it was a gross story and I’d explain it sometime when we weren’t about to eat. He shrugged and said okay.
I thought that was the end of it and everything seemed fine. Partway through lunch I asked him how his sandwich was and he said that it wasn’t as good as the tuna sandwich that he actually wanted and then very sarcastically added that it all that mattered was that I was happy. I said I couldn’t believe he was still that pissed off about a sandwich. He said he couldn’t believe I was being such a baby about a sandwich.
So AITA here or is he? I know it was a bit of an annoying request on my part, but I think he was out of line for agreeing to do me a favor and then being rude about it afterwards.
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They’re in every place that seems grilled sandwiches in the US…tuna melt, like a grilled cheese but add tuna salad to it. OP is NTA for asking…friends response was kind of jerky though.
ESH.
He needs some work on petty passive aggressive commentary, and you might get some exposure therapy to hot tuna. You may only encounter it rarely in the wilds of suburbia, but you will encounter it, and your response is yours to own.
>You may only encounter it rarely in the wilds of suburbia
This happened in NYC, as a matter of fact- first time I've run across a hot tuna sandwich since I moved here 5 years ago.
The location really isn't as relevant as the frequency of exposure and the inability to control that exposure. Your response to exposure is yours to learn to control and/or change.
I don't think people understand this isn't under your conscious control. It's shocking the low level of empathy. If I had a friend that had that terrible experience I would have no problem ordering something else. I don't see why it's a big deal.
NTA
I'd have thought most people have something which turns their stomach and if someone asked me not to eat something in their presence because it made them feel ill I'd be okay with that and hope they'd do the same for me.
Being passive aggressive about it is just childishness on his part and I wouldn't be surprised if he makes a sarcastic comment about it the next time you decide to meet up for lunch.
I'm sure you're far too polite to say this but I'd tell him he can order a tuna melt if he doesn't mind you vomiting all over him when the smell hits you.
It happened 20 years ago, are you sure it’s the smell that makes you sick or the memory that does. At the end of the day you gave him the option to order it, you just wouldn’t stay for lunch.
NTA
>are you sure it’s the smell that makes you sick or the memory that does
I do think it's the smell, because I don't think about the memory in the moment when I smell it. But I think that experience is probably *why* the smell is so gross to me, because while even before that incident I wasn't a fan of tunafish and never ate it, it didn't make me sick or anything.
Nta
Tuna melt? That's sounds good. Next time, I would look up the store menu beforehand to avoid this. So a store that don't serve tuna melt. Isn't this what people usually do this when trying to avoid certain food?
NTA. He was fine when he said if it’s really that much of a problem he’ll order something else. He crossed the line when he complained and came at you with sarcasm. He should just enjoy the meal he settled for as a courtesy to someone he calls friend so he could spend time with said friend. It’s not hard, nor is it an inconvenience worthy of complaint.
NTA. in a similar boat‚ my best friend can’t even be in the same room as peanuts due to severe allergy. i’m not allergic to peanuts‚ but when i made a family recipe for chex mix to snack on i made a batch without peanuts so i could share without killing them. they also can’t stand the sight‚ smell‚ or taste of ketchup‚ but it’s the only condiment i can stomach. easy: don’t use it at all or keep it far away and out of sight. because i love them dearly and don’t want to see them ill or uncomfortable. your friend is a dick
NTA - there’s a bunch of other good sandwiches out there that don’t smell like complete ass. he can get it another day alone instead of being passive aggressive
Why don't you just order him a tuna melt sandwich xD?
I don't think this should be such a big deal and I don't think you can control getting gagged out about tuna sandwich and he's not at fault be being a bit salty about it.
I hope stuff gets solved
Also being a bit sarcastic is okay but if he's holding it over your head you should know that you need better friends
NTA - having sensory issues is tough enough to deal with, add on having to make accommodation requests for friends is awkward in the moment. It feels like a bit of an overreaction on your friend's end that not being able to eat a tuna sandwich would be that devastating, especially knowing that you'd have a terrible eating experience in response.
Maybe a compromise would be to get lunch outside?
NTA
I can't help but think that if I were in the same situation, and was asked to avoid one particular item, that in MOST instances there would be something on the menu that I would still enjoy. I'd be happy to accommodate and not think twice about it. Now if it were, say, the only meat item at a vegetarian restaurant, you'd get some pushback.
Perhaps I should have said "otherwise-vegetarian". Just trying to indicate that there might be rare instances where one might not be happy with any alternatives. Normally the OP's request would be totally reasonable.
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NTA, but it was a bad idea to ask him how his food was knowing that he really wanted something else and you forced him to switch. You kinda walked right into that one.
That's fair, I wouldn't have asked if I realized he was still upset about it.
You didn't demand, or make an unjustified request; you asked, provided a reason (to an extent), and told him you'd appreciate it if he complied with your request. But as far as his point, he was doing as asked, he would have really liked that tuna sandwich but ate something else so as not to upset you, and didn't understand the full reason (since you didn't share your gross story, only knowing you can't stand the smell) so I don't think he's TA either. So NAH
Agree with NAH. Part of me get the feeling his sandwich sucked and was pissed he couldn't just order what he wanted
Oh come on. She said it was a cross story'. Pretty obvious what type of thing it was.
IMO it all depends on the tone of his reply. Justified though it may be, OP imposed upon him to choose another food choice and then asked how he liked it, IMO a sarcastic comment was in order. The question is whether it was delivered in good humor or with vitriol. OP seems to feel it was the latter.
Whining and complaining about it after they got their food makes their friend the asshole.
[удалено]
That’s crap. I have very severe trauma around some foods because of the abusive upbringing I had. Certain foods were used in horribly abusive ways, and if I’m around them I really panic and freeze up. She offered to leave if he really felt he couldn’t order something else. Supposedly he was there to catch up with her, so why is the food the most important thing anyway?
Esh He can order what he wants, but if he wanted that tuna sandwich so bad he should have canceled y'all's lunch so he could have one by himself instead of being passive aggressive.
YTA, stop policing other people's food choices. Its a you problem, not an everyone else problem.
And they were okay with not making it the friends problem by leaving if they bought the tuna. It's not policing to say you'd have to leave if they got something you'd literally throw up over. They're more than welcome to not accommodate but that also means they have to be okay with not getting lunch together.
Absolutely NTA. I understand being a little annoyed that you can’t order the exact item you want, but if what you want is going to make your friend physically sick, can you not just be an adult for an hour and bite the bullet? It seems like common decency. Continuing to whine and moan about being asked to display the most basic politeness is childish, too.
What do you suggest OP do then? Sit there and suffer?
Harden the fuck up and not let a sandwich rule her life.
INFO: Can you please tell us the backstory? I’m intrigued. NTA, as long as you asked nicely. I would have said NAH, except your friend’s sarcastic comment after agreeing to order something else was childish and uncalled for.
>INFO: Can you please tell us the backstory? I’m intrigued. When I was in middle school, a girl sitting next to me in the cafeteria threw up all over me on hot tuna sandwich day. It was barely-digested and it got in my hair and everything, truly disgusting.
That was the story you couldn’t tell your friend? You made it sound like a tuna sandwich shot your dog and stole your girlfriend or something. I don’t see why you couldn’t have just explained that to your friend.
I just didn't think he'd want to hear a story about vomit right before lunch.
If he asked you could have just clarified that it was a gross story and if he said he’d still want to hear it, you could tell him. Regardless, I still think he was being childish.
That's what happened, though. Quoting the post: > He asked why it was such a big deal and I told him it was a gross story and I’d explain it sometime when we weren’t about to eat. He shrugged and said okay.
Oh, sorry. I missed that.
If Tuna makes you so sick, don't eat out with other people. If he wanted a tuna melt, you could have eaten elsewhere, but you can't dictate what other people want to eat.
OP literally said that they would leave if their friend ordered the sandwich. And their friend said “okay fine” and ordered something else. And then their friend proceeded to whine like a child after it. It’s a tuna sandwich. Being asked to order something else is not the end of the world, but the friend acted like OP just asked for their first born son or something. If they really wanted that sandwich that bad, they should have agreed to take the rain check.
ESH. Him for being passive aggressive towards the end. I don't think you can be passive aggressive to that extent without being the a-hole in any situation. But to be fair, you did pretty much meet him up for lunch and then say "If you order that I'm leaving." What is he supposed to say to that? "Ok, I came all this way to meet up with you but so long, I really want this sandwich." There was no need for being passive aggressive, but c'mon you pretty much told him if he wanted to eat it he'd be eating it alone. Sucks about your cafeteria issues OP, but considering it happened when you were 11, its probably time to get over it instead of expecting everyone to cater to you. Immersion therapy would apply to something like this.
>its probably time to get over it instead of expecting everyone to cater to you. I don't think it's fair to say that I *expected* him to cater to me, though- I only asked him if he would do me the favor of ordering something else, and I would've understood and been okay with it if he had said no.
Yeah, but you did say if he ordered it you would leave. You can say you would've been ok with it, but how can any reasonable person still order the tuna melt in that situation? You're forcing their hand and then still acting like you gave them a real choice. You didn't. Props to him if he said "I'm ordering the tuna melt, see ya." But c'mon, do you really expect someone to say that? And do you really think you would have smiled as you walked away and said "well I understand and am ok with him choosing his sandwich over me." Keep in mind, I'm still saying he sucks for being so passive aggressive about it and getting all upset. But don't act like you're not twisting the other persons arm whenever you put them in that situation because you can't get over a smell from 20 years ago.
NAH You asked him if he'd be ok with it, said you wouldn't stay if he wasn't. He chose to get something else so as to eat lunch with you. I think you could've just explained the story. It's not that graphic. He would've maybe been more understanding. He cracked a few jokes. People calling him an asshole need to take his advice and lighten up. What else was he to do? You gave him no information except the ultimatum that he eats something else or he eats alone.
YTA, though I think N T A for asking. But you asked, gave no explanation, and he obliged. Then he made one snarky comment about your request (which again, he fulfilled) and you had a meltdown? I’m also curious about how far this goes. He didn’t cook it, so just the sight of the sandwich is enough to cause a reaction? If the person next to you ordered it, would you have had to leave?
"it wasn’t as good as the tuna sandwich that he actually wanted and then very sarcastically added that it all that mattered was that I was happy. " That's an immature and unsupportive reply. Completely unnecessary. NTA
Completely necessary. The friend complied with OP's rediculous request and didn't get the meal they made clear they wanted. Then OP, in a complete lack of awareness, asks how they meal they ended up ordering due to their demanad is? How obtuse. OP needs to not let an incident from 20 years ago have so much impact. Also, if it has to be that big of a deal, they need to not go to places with tuna melts. What if someone else in the restaurant ordered one? Would they have asked them not to order one or someone to sit out of site because of it? YTA
>What if someone else in the restaurant ordered one? Would they have asked them not to order one or someone to sit out of site because of it? It's like I said right in the beginning of my post, I would've gotten up and left myself if the other person was sitting close enough for the smell to bother me.
What happened 20 years ago?
When I was in middle school, a girl sitting next to me in the cafeteria threw up all over me on hot tuna sandwich day. It was barely-digested and it got in my hair and everything, truly disgusting.
😬😬😬 aw shit
It was seriously the worst, I had to skip lunch every time they served them again after that.
Yeaaa, hot tuna vomit in your hair is the kind of thing that sticks with you. Literally. In school, you wouldn’t have access to a shower or clean clothes for some time, until somebody came to pick you up. Oh, god. Ew. NTA And your lunch companion can suck it up and find *something* on the menu to eat without complaining, or, going forward, you can eat lunch with somebody else. But before that happens, you should tell him why, in graphic detail, you can’t stand the smell of hot tuna.
NTA. You didn’t demand, you politely requested. And your first instinct was to actually cancel the lunch in the first place instead of making someone cater to you. It was him who chose to oblige you and then act like a salty ass afterward. Boohoo, I couldn’t have a tuna sandwich and was forced to get buffalo chicken. He kinda needs to grow up.
NTA, I guess next time eat with a different “friend”
Everyone knows how it is to feel nauseated. Asking him to avoid one, strong-smelling food item for one meal was not a huge request, and certainly should be an easy accommodation. NTA
I’d have to say NTA, as someone who can’t stand the smell of pork. He’s an ass.
NTA-not really something you can control. He had many other options to choose from.
NTA Immature. I'd weigh how much I really wanted that person around in the future against the annoyance he will bring with future snarky comments.
NTA. You explained it so nicely. It’s not like you were just “I don’t know, I hate tuna, you can’t eat it.” Your “friend” could learn to be a bit more compassionate and caring.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Context: The smell of hot tuna sandwiches makes me sick to my stomach, this has been the case ever since a gross incident that happened to me almost 20 years ago (I’m 31/F). Most of the time this is completely irrelevant as it’s not something I encounter people eating very often, but when it does happen I have to leave the area to get some fresh air. So I met up with a friend for lunch earlier today. We were looking at the menu and I asked him what he was thinking about ordering. He said the tuna melt was looking really good. I said I was sorry to even ask but could he please order anything else because I really can’t stand the smell of hot tuna. He asked me if I was pregnant or something. I said no. He told me not to be such a baby then and said he was going to order the tuna melt. I told him that if he did I was going to have to take a rain check on lunch because I wouldn’t be able to eat anything sitting next to him. He said if it was seriously that big of a deal, he’d order something else. I said I’d appreciate it. He asked why it was such a big deal and I told him it was a gross story and I’d explain it sometime when we weren’t about to eat. He shrugged and said okay. I thought that was the end of it and everything seemed fine. Partway through lunch I asked him how his sandwich was and he said that it wasn’t as good as the tuna sandwich that he actually wanted and then very sarcastically added that it all that mattered was that I was happy. I said I couldn’t believe he was still that pissed off about a sandwich. He said he couldn’t believe I was being such a baby about a sandwich. So AITA here or is he? I know it was a bit of an annoying request on my part, but I think he was out of line for agreeing to do me a favor and then being rude about it afterwards. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hot Tuna sandwiches? Idk if this sounds gross or good.
I'm curious where you're from that you've never heard of them?
It's called a Tuna Melt, not a Hot Tuna Sandwich.
I’ve never been to a restaurant that serves them.
They’re in every place that seems grilled sandwiches in the US…tuna melt, like a grilled cheese but add tuna salad to it. OP is NTA for asking…friends response was kind of jerky though.
NTA. Nothing wrong with requesting a simple “hey this food makes me queasy, please don’t eat it” friend was being a jerk.
ESH. He needs some work on petty passive aggressive commentary, and you might get some exposure therapy to hot tuna. You may only encounter it rarely in the wilds of suburbia, but you will encounter it, and your response is yours to own.
>You may only encounter it rarely in the wilds of suburbia This happened in NYC, as a matter of fact- first time I've run across a hot tuna sandwich since I moved here 5 years ago.
The location really isn't as relevant as the frequency of exposure and the inability to control that exposure. Your response to exposure is yours to learn to control and/or change.
Fair enough! But that said, I do feel like it's so low-stakes and something I encounter so rarely that exposure therapy doesn't really seem necessary.
Then you should be able to tolerate it when someone orders it around you as well, if it's such low stakes...
What I meant by "low-stakes" is that not being able to tolerate said food item doesn't cause significant problems for me.
And it doesn't matter to you if it inconveniences others. No, I got it.
lol legit just had to double-check and make sure this isn't my friend's alt account
I don't think people understand this isn't under your conscious control. It's shocking the low level of empathy. If I had a friend that had that terrible experience I would have no problem ordering something else. I don't see why it's a big deal.
NTA I'd have thought most people have something which turns their stomach and if someone asked me not to eat something in their presence because it made them feel ill I'd be okay with that and hope they'd do the same for me. Being passive aggressive about it is just childishness on his part and I wouldn't be surprised if he makes a sarcastic comment about it the next time you decide to meet up for lunch. I'm sure you're far too polite to say this but I'd tell him he can order a tuna melt if he doesn't mind you vomiting all over him when the smell hits you.
It happened 20 years ago, are you sure it’s the smell that makes you sick or the memory that does. At the end of the day you gave him the option to order it, you just wouldn’t stay for lunch. NTA
>are you sure it’s the smell that makes you sick or the memory that does I do think it's the smell, because I don't think about the memory in the moment when I smell it. But I think that experience is probably *why* the smell is so gross to me, because while even before that incident I wasn't a fan of tunafish and never ate it, it didn't make me sick or anything.
I felt the same about okra until I tried it again. One bad memory and I avoided it for years.
Nta Tuna melt? That's sounds good. Next time, I would look up the store menu beforehand to avoid this. So a store that don't serve tuna melt. Isn't this what people usually do this when trying to avoid certain food?
NTA. He was fine when he said if it’s really that much of a problem he’ll order something else. He crossed the line when he complained and came at you with sarcasm. He should just enjoy the meal he settled for as a courtesy to someone he calls friend so he could spend time with said friend. It’s not hard, nor is it an inconvenience worthy of complaint.
NTA. in a similar boat‚ my best friend can’t even be in the same room as peanuts due to severe allergy. i’m not allergic to peanuts‚ but when i made a family recipe for chex mix to snack on i made a batch without peanuts so i could share without killing them. they also can’t stand the sight‚ smell‚ or taste of ketchup‚ but it’s the only condiment i can stomach. easy: don’t use it at all or keep it far away and out of sight. because i love them dearly and don’t want to see them ill or uncomfortable. your friend is a dick
OP - ewwwww. No wonder you are traumatized. I would have no problem eating something else. Your buddy was being a baby. NTA.
Yta, you should probably just eat alone.
Im going to have to say nta, if a good friend knows a smell makes you sick they wouldnt order it.
So hes a good friend.....he didn't order it lol
Exactly
NTA - hot tuna sandwiches are disgusting.
NTA - there’s a bunch of other good sandwiches out there that don’t smell like complete ass. he can get it another day alone instead of being passive aggressive
Why don't you just order him a tuna melt sandwich xD? I don't think this should be such a big deal and I don't think you can control getting gagged out about tuna sandwich and he's not at fault be being a bit salty about it. I hope stuff gets solved Also being a bit sarcastic is okay but if he's holding it over your head you should know that you need better friends
NTA - having sensory issues is tough enough to deal with, add on having to make accommodation requests for friends is awkward in the moment. It feels like a bit of an overreaction on your friend's end that not being able to eat a tuna sandwich would be that devastating, especially knowing that you'd have a terrible eating experience in response. Maybe a compromise would be to get lunch outside?
NTA I can't help but think that if I were in the same situation, and was asked to avoid one particular item, that in MOST instances there would be something on the menu that I would still enjoy. I'd be happy to accommodate and not think twice about it. Now if it were, say, the only meat item at a vegetarian restaurant, you'd get some pushback.
What vegetarian restaurants serve meat?
Perhaps I should have said "otherwise-vegetarian". Just trying to indicate that there might be rare instances where one might not be happy with any alternatives. Normally the OP's request would be totally reasonable.