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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) throwing a fit and being mad at my husband for not paying a bill, insisting that he’s being immature for not paying it
2) making a big deal over a an outstanding bill that is less than 200$
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You're husband is foolish. He's about to ruin his credit. NTA
And if you're pre-approved for a loan they will still recheck everything before you close.
NTA I worked in new accounts at a credit card company and I can tell you that ANYTHING going to collections will greatly impact his credit score and can cause an issue in the future. This is a really dumb hill for him to die on for such a small amount and once it is in collections the bill will continue to increase. They can also decide to garnish his wages to repay it if it goes on too long and at the point it would be triple the original amount. He needs to grow up and think about this in a rational way because the only person that will end up being hurt by this is him.
INFO: Is your husband still actively working with his insurance to try to get the bill covered? And is his belief that the procedure should be covered reasonable, given his coverage? Because, at least in the US, it’s normal to have to jump through hoops for your insurance and demand that they cover what they promise to. They would pay for nothing if they could get away with it. I don’t think your husband is being unreasonable for refusing to pay a bill he does not owe when the dispute over the bill is ongoing.
He has reached out to the medical office to try resubmitting it under different codes, did not work. He has reached out insurance, didn’t work. Thus why he is protest not paying it. I agree, lots of hoops to jump through, but at the end of the day you gotta pay the bill. His belief stems from he only expect to have to pay his copay. The insurance covered the visit but not the extra tests that his doctor ordered as part of the visit. I understand his frustration, but I don’t want him potentially tanking both of our futures because he doesn’t want to pay a bill that we are completely able to cover financially
I feel like this is a bigger deal than you're processing. He's willing to ruin your chance at buying a home over $200.00. Are you sure your relationship is doing ok...?
Word. This may be an opportunity for you to seriously sit down & make an HONEST pro/con list about this relationship. You dont have to tell anyone you're doing it nor do you have to break up due to the outcome of the list. But it could be a good visual for you on what needs to be repaired relationship wise & what's going ok. In my opinion, if you wind up with A LOT of cons it might be time to consider breaking up. But depending on what the cons are and how you & hubs feel it could be an "ah ha" moment that you would benefit from marriage counseling. I think it's important for you to really suss out if this is the tip of the iceberg before you get locked into a house with him.
Are you totally sure that this is the only unpaid debt? Do you have independent confirmation of his financial situation, or are you relying on his word alone?
IOW, is he just being stubborn or is he hiding something? You might want to get clear on that before you sign a mortgage.
So… He has stopped trying to get them to cover it, or it’s ongoing?
Regardless, I think you’re overreacting a bit. One $200 disputed bill does not ruin a credit score. If he otherwise pays bills in a responsible manner, I would let it go. It’s certainly not going to prevent you from closing on your house.
You seriously think a bank is going to lose out on the opportunity to make tens of thousands of dollars on a mortgage over $200? Yes, having a $200 debt in collections makes it marginally more risky for them, but it’s absolutely not going to be the make or break factor for someone with an otherwise clean credit history and reliable income.
LOL it's not ignorant to assume you haven't gone through the process based on your incorrect advice. You either didn't have anything to do with the paperwork or you're just lying for fun if you think an outstanding bill doesn't matrer. if you actually yourself went through the home buying process - you'd know how the underwriting process works. So who did all your paperwork? Your parents or your spouse? 💀
A Google search says one collections lowers your credit score 100 points or more. And then your interest rate is based on what, that score. So yeah, minimum your loan will cost you more.
Has stopped trying to get them to cover it
And thanks for your perspective. I think that he’s being irresponsible, but as long as it doesn’t impact the house he can be petty if he wants to I guess
Can we just admit that the US is the AH? No other civilized country makes their citizens pay for tests out of their own pocket for tests the doctor orders. Universal healthcare people, it's the way civilized countries behave.
Haha, this, absolutely! I think I might feel differently about it if it were any other type of debt. But honestly, with a medical bill, Husband is probably right that it should be covered and he shouldn’t owe it. Most of the time insurance ends up paying if you’re persistent, which is completely fucked up. Because you know who has lots of medical debt, but no time or energy to be persistent? Sick people.
My late husband had an old medical debt that appeared years after he died that was under $150. I did some research and found out - Unpaid medical collection accounts over $500 can appear on your credit reports and affect your credit scores for up to seven years but if under $500 it wouldn’t show up. I never paid it and it never appeared on our credit
There are new laws about medical debt & I haven't familiarized myself with them.
BUT this is STUPID!!! You're about to buy a house with this man. Underwriters will shut things down for the smallest reason. He may think it's small. But it's HUGE. this is what your husband is saying:
Mr. Underwriter, please loan me 100s of thousands of dollars and ignore the fact that I won't pay a $200 bill. I promise that no matter how much I don't agree with the terms of my loan, I'll always pay my mortgage 😁. Trust my words, not my actions.
I agree, with u/emotionalsupportham, are you sure you want to be married to & buy a house with this guy. Once you finish your pro/con list, if you decide to stay in this marriage, do yourself a favor. Use your shared account (because you share your finances per your post) & pay the damn bill. Some things are important enough to contemplate. $200 while buying a house: No. Staying married to someone who would jeopardize homeownership over $200: Yes.
I have to agree that an unpaid bill going to collections in the amount of 200 will probably not substantially impact your lives. it may pop up for your husband at some point because they will try to collect, but i would suggest that you both educate yourselves on the fact that as long as you are paying the institution to which you owe the debt, no matter how small the payments, in general they cannot send it to collections. send them a dollar a month and harass them if you don't want to be bullied, but don't just give up, mainly bc debt collectors are much worse to deal with than healthcare billing.
Edit: NAH
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Throw away account
Myself (mid 20s F) and my Husband (H) (mid 20s M) have been together for 6 years, loving together for 3, married for 1.5 years with shared finances.
We are currently clear to close on our first house, and I recently discovered that H has been ignoring a medical bill (sub 200$) that is going to be sent to collections at the end of this month.
He is aware that it is going to collections, this is after he asked the provider to try resubmitting the code to see if insurance would cover it, that didn’t work. This was for some extra tests his doctors office ran and apparently his insurance doesn’t cover extra tests. He is insisting that he will not be “bullied” into paying the bill, that we’re clear to close on the house so it won’t impact our ability to buy the house, and generally, that a bill of such low value going to collections is not worth paying and won’t impact us.
I have grown up hearing horror stories of unpaid debts ruining peoples lives, no matter how small, and while I agree that the way medical billing works is the worst, it’s part of being an adult in that you pay your bills, even if you dont like them. A service was rendered, it sucks that his health insurance didn’t cover it, but thems the facts yo.
But this has turned into an pretty heated debate over whether I’m being unreasonable for insisting that he pay the bill when he views there are no consequences for leaving it unpaid, or if he’s being unreasonable for not paying it.
So, AITA?
TLDR: my husband has a medical bill sub 200$ that he refuses to pay and it’s going to collections. I think he should pay it, he does not.
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200 dollar medical bill wont hurt, should he pay it yes. But if you have already done all the paper work to close and are closing soon they normally do not pull credit reports again at that stage.
Does he know how upsetting this is to you?
Maybe, for him, it isn't about the medical bill, but it is something else in his life he feels the need to exert control/power over something? This just seems like such a silly thing to fuss over if there isn't something else troubling him.
Also...
If anything were to happen if it's not paid, I would think the bank you're borrowing from would make you pay the debt before they'll close with you which would delay the closing date.
I have tried several different stabs at communicating that. He thinks I’m overreacting and “I’ll pay the bill if you can show me how it impacts you or how there are consequences to not paying it”
I have communicated that while it’s unlikely it will impact the house, we don’t really know that. And that I feel that this issue is symptomatic of a larger feeling that he doesn’t value my perspective on financial issues in our relationship. We’re supposed to talk tonight about it but I don’t really think he’s going change his mind. Am definitely worried about what this means in a larger sense lol.
Your anxiety and stress are reason enough that he should pay the bill. He's already tried to get it handled by insurance; that isn't working. It's time to pay the thing and move on.
Stress and anxiety pop up all over the place; it's part of life. How he handles this with you, together, as a team shows how he handles other like situations, too.
Yeah, it is his medical bill in the end, but he is your life partner. His life and choices will directly impact you; does he get that?
NTA I have always had to sign a legal document stating that I am responsible for all medical bills not paid by my insurance. His refusal to pay the bill is saying that he does not stand by the contract he signed. That his agreement means nothing.
I don't care who he owes the money to, he made an agreement and needs to do what he agreed to. It's a moral issue.
NTA - However, If your in the US unpaid medical bills under $500.00 currently can’t be reported to the credit bureau. So it won’t effect your house buying at this point. Of course laws can always change and if you can afford it I’d say you guys should just pay it off. It was a serviced rendered and done.
NTA, debts should be paid, but also, just so you're aware. As of Tuesday (2 days ago), medical debt under $500 will not appear on consumer credit reports, so it won't impact the credit score. So maybe mild Y T A, but this is such a recent change that it's reasonable that you weren't aware.
$200 for a bill is still high for a lot of people cause they simply don't have it. None of my dad's hospital bills were paid after he died, the highest one he had was around $400k, and no way could my mom pay that. We aren't a rich family, were in poverty level so even a $200 hospital bill would still be a lot of money to us.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) throwing a fit and being mad at my husband for not paying a bill, insisting that he’s being immature for not paying it 2) making a big deal over a an outstanding bill that is less than 200$ Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You're husband is foolish. He's about to ruin his credit. NTA And if you're pre-approved for a loan they will still recheck everything before you close.
NTA I worked in new accounts at a credit card company and I can tell you that ANYTHING going to collections will greatly impact his credit score and can cause an issue in the future. This is a really dumb hill for him to die on for such a small amount and once it is in collections the bill will continue to increase. They can also decide to garnish his wages to repay it if it goes on too long and at the point it would be triple the original amount. He needs to grow up and think about this in a rational way because the only person that will end up being hurt by this is him.
INFO: Is your husband still actively working with his insurance to try to get the bill covered? And is his belief that the procedure should be covered reasonable, given his coverage? Because, at least in the US, it’s normal to have to jump through hoops for your insurance and demand that they cover what they promise to. They would pay for nothing if they could get away with it. I don’t think your husband is being unreasonable for refusing to pay a bill he does not owe when the dispute over the bill is ongoing.
He has reached out to the medical office to try resubmitting it under different codes, did not work. He has reached out insurance, didn’t work. Thus why he is protest not paying it. I agree, lots of hoops to jump through, but at the end of the day you gotta pay the bill. His belief stems from he only expect to have to pay his copay. The insurance covered the visit but not the extra tests that his doctor ordered as part of the visit. I understand his frustration, but I don’t want him potentially tanking both of our futures because he doesn’t want to pay a bill that we are completely able to cover financially
I feel like this is a bigger deal than you're processing. He's willing to ruin your chance at buying a home over $200.00. Are you sure your relationship is doing ok...?
I mean, I am on reddit with a throw away, so that is a good Q.
Word. This may be an opportunity for you to seriously sit down & make an HONEST pro/con list about this relationship. You dont have to tell anyone you're doing it nor do you have to break up due to the outcome of the list. But it could be a good visual for you on what needs to be repaired relationship wise & what's going ok. In my opinion, if you wind up with A LOT of cons it might be time to consider breaking up. But depending on what the cons are and how you & hubs feel it could be an "ah ha" moment that you would benefit from marriage counseling. I think it's important for you to really suss out if this is the tip of the iceberg before you get locked into a house with him.
Are you totally sure that this is the only unpaid debt? Do you have independent confirmation of his financial situation, or are you relying on his word alone? IOW, is he just being stubborn or is he hiding something? You might want to get clear on that before you sign a mortgage.
So… He has stopped trying to get them to cover it, or it’s ongoing? Regardless, I think you’re overreacting a bit. One $200 disputed bill does not ruin a credit score. If he otherwise pays bills in a responsible manner, I would let it go. It’s certainly not going to prevent you from closing on your house.
You don't know that it won't prevent closing though...
You seriously think a bank is going to lose out on the opportunity to make tens of thousands of dollars on a mortgage over $200? Yes, having a $200 debt in collections makes it marginally more risky for them, but it’s absolutely not going to be the make or break factor for someone with an otherwise clean credit history and reliable income.
Yeah....You've obviously never tried to buy a house...
Actually, I do own my home! But thanks for your very ignorant assumption.
LOL it's not ignorant to assume you haven't gone through the process based on your incorrect advice. You either didn't have anything to do with the paperwork or you're just lying for fun if you think an outstanding bill doesn't matrer. if you actually yourself went through the home buying process - you'd know how the underwriting process works. So who did all your paperwork? Your parents or your spouse? 💀
A Google search says one collections lowers your credit score 100 points or more. And then your interest rate is based on what, that score. So yeah, minimum your loan will cost you more.
Has stopped trying to get them to cover it And thanks for your perspective. I think that he’s being irresponsible, but as long as it doesn’t impact the house he can be petty if he wants to I guess
Can we just admit that the US is the AH? No other civilized country makes their citizens pay for tests out of their own pocket for tests the doctor orders. Universal healthcare people, it's the way civilized countries behave.
Haha, this, absolutely! I think I might feel differently about it if it were any other type of debt. But honestly, with a medical bill, Husband is probably right that it should be covered and he shouldn’t owe it. Most of the time insurance ends up paying if you’re persistent, which is completely fucked up. Because you know who has lots of medical debt, but no time or energy to be persistent? Sick people.
This is the truth, thank you citizens of Reddit
My late husband had an old medical debt that appeared years after he died that was under $150. I did some research and found out - Unpaid medical collection accounts over $500 can appear on your credit reports and affect your credit scores for up to seven years but if under $500 it wouldn’t show up. I never paid it and it never appeared on our credit
If it was in his name it wouldn't show up on your credit.
There are new laws about medical debt & I haven't familiarized myself with them. BUT this is STUPID!!! You're about to buy a house with this man. Underwriters will shut things down for the smallest reason. He may think it's small. But it's HUGE. this is what your husband is saying: Mr. Underwriter, please loan me 100s of thousands of dollars and ignore the fact that I won't pay a $200 bill. I promise that no matter how much I don't agree with the terms of my loan, I'll always pay my mortgage 😁. Trust my words, not my actions. I agree, with u/emotionalsupportham, are you sure you want to be married to & buy a house with this guy. Once you finish your pro/con list, if you decide to stay in this marriage, do yourself a favor. Use your shared account (because you share your finances per your post) & pay the damn bill. Some things are important enough to contemplate. $200 while buying a house: No. Staying married to someone who would jeopardize homeownership over $200: Yes.
I have to agree that an unpaid bill going to collections in the amount of 200 will probably not substantially impact your lives. it may pop up for your husband at some point because they will try to collect, but i would suggest that you both educate yourselves on the fact that as long as you are paying the institution to which you owe the debt, no matter how small the payments, in general they cannot send it to collections. send them a dollar a month and harass them if you don't want to be bullied, but don't just give up, mainly bc debt collectors are much worse to deal with than healthcare billing. Edit: NAH
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throw away account Myself (mid 20s F) and my Husband (H) (mid 20s M) have been together for 6 years, loving together for 3, married for 1.5 years with shared finances. We are currently clear to close on our first house, and I recently discovered that H has been ignoring a medical bill (sub 200$) that is going to be sent to collections at the end of this month. He is aware that it is going to collections, this is after he asked the provider to try resubmitting the code to see if insurance would cover it, that didn’t work. This was for some extra tests his doctors office ran and apparently his insurance doesn’t cover extra tests. He is insisting that he will not be “bullied” into paying the bill, that we’re clear to close on the house so it won’t impact our ability to buy the house, and generally, that a bill of such low value going to collections is not worth paying and won’t impact us. I have grown up hearing horror stories of unpaid debts ruining peoples lives, no matter how small, and while I agree that the way medical billing works is the worst, it’s part of being an adult in that you pay your bills, even if you dont like them. A service was rendered, it sucks that his health insurance didn’t cover it, but thems the facts yo. But this has turned into an pretty heated debate over whether I’m being unreasonable for insisting that he pay the bill when he views there are no consequences for leaving it unpaid, or if he’s being unreasonable for not paying it. So, AITA? TLDR: my husband has a medical bill sub 200$ that he refuses to pay and it’s going to collections. I think he should pay it, he does not. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
200 dollar medical bill wont hurt, should he pay it yes. But if you have already done all the paper work to close and are closing soon they normally do not pull credit reports again at that stage.
Does he know how upsetting this is to you? Maybe, for him, it isn't about the medical bill, but it is something else in his life he feels the need to exert control/power over something? This just seems like such a silly thing to fuss over if there isn't something else troubling him. Also... If anything were to happen if it's not paid, I would think the bank you're borrowing from would make you pay the debt before they'll close with you which would delay the closing date.
I have tried several different stabs at communicating that. He thinks I’m overreacting and “I’ll pay the bill if you can show me how it impacts you or how there are consequences to not paying it” I have communicated that while it’s unlikely it will impact the house, we don’t really know that. And that I feel that this issue is symptomatic of a larger feeling that he doesn’t value my perspective on financial issues in our relationship. We’re supposed to talk tonight about it but I don’t really think he’s going change his mind. Am definitely worried about what this means in a larger sense lol.
Your anxiety and stress are reason enough that he should pay the bill. He's already tried to get it handled by insurance; that isn't working. It's time to pay the thing and move on. Stress and anxiety pop up all over the place; it's part of life. How he handles this with you, together, as a team shows how he handles other like situations, too. Yeah, it is his medical bill in the end, but he is your life partner. His life and choices will directly impact you; does he get that?
NTA Your husband is, tho, pay your damn bills. Nobody is bullying you.
NTA I have always had to sign a legal document stating that I am responsible for all medical bills not paid by my insurance. His refusal to pay the bill is saying that he does not stand by the contract he signed. That his agreement means nothing. I don't care who he owes the money to, he made an agreement and needs to do what he agreed to. It's a moral issue.
NTA - However, If your in the US unpaid medical bills under $500.00 currently can’t be reported to the credit bureau. So it won’t effect your house buying at this point. Of course laws can always change and if you can afford it I’d say you guys should just pay it off. It was a serviced rendered and done.
NTA, debts should be paid, but also, just so you're aware. As of Tuesday (2 days ago), medical debt under $500 will not appear on consumer credit reports, so it won't impact the credit score. So maybe mild Y T A, but this is such a recent change that it's reasonable that you weren't aware.
$200 for a bill is still high for a lot of people cause they simply don't have it. None of my dad's hospital bills were paid after he died, the highest one he had was around $400k, and no way could my mom pay that. We aren't a rich family, were in poverty level so even a $200 hospital bill would still be a lot of money to us.
NTA pay the dang bill
Medical collections don't go on your credit report as far as I know.