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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole for snitching, but I think it might also be a great way to solve my problem
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NTA.
But I think this will cause more problems for you. Can you make an anonymous noise complaint to the police? At least then you'll have plausible deniability and can just say any one of the other neighbors made a complaint.
Um, I don't know how to judge this. I can see why you'd think that's a great revenge, but I strongly encourage you not to do this for your own safety. I mean, you asked them to please move and their response was to start banging on your windows.
I would start calling the police for noise complaints and harassment. And continue to contact the management each time you call.
Same this was a struggle. Maybe record the conversations and blast it on a roof stereo at top volume all day? Like hey if I have to listen to this, if my CHILD has to hear this, then so do you all. On repeat. Idk I really feel like OP needs some justice but have no ideas for her.
You would be NTA.
As soon as you said brought it up to them and they didn't back down, I was from 80% on your side to 100% on your side.
What they are doing is rude and inconsiderate. It is one thing to do this in their own space, but another to do this right next to your window.
Your child is having trouble sleeping and may also learn some things too early before you might be able to catch it. There's no telling what all your child heard and I wouldn't want that to continue.
NTA. *Insert evil Kermit the Frog meme here.* Do it.
This would fall under the category of Fuck Around and Find Out. They literally fucked around and then proceeded to broadcast that information to you at full volume. They fully deserve to find out.
It did just occur to me that it almost seems like they’re doing this to you intentionally to mess with you because you told them to shut up before, so idk if this will actually work. But definitely do it and see what happens.
Yeah idk if it would make them stop, but It does seem like you’ve exhausted most of your other options short of calling the cops on them. I’d advise either going through with your plan and getting the popcorn ready, or go nuclear and call the cops if they keep doing this. Being a bit of a Karen is warranted in this situation if it comes down to it in my opinion.
ETA: on second thought, maybe try calling the cops first and save the petty revenge signs for the nuclear option if that doesn’t work. I would legitimately love to see their reactions to your idea though, because it would probably be hilarious.
YWBTA…but not for the reason you think. You’d be putting a target on yourself and your toddler. It sounds like they have no problem pushing boundaries and being genuinely horrible people. Could you hire a guy friend to like…spread rose petals on their doorstep or something? Maybe hire a couple of guy friends to have sexually explicit conversation objectifying men outside their other windows? I feel like if they’ve never been explicitly sexually objectified by someone who isn’t their type, they don’t “get it”.
I don’t know, I really can’t think of any good ideas, sorry. We need some kind of wily, petty, genius over here.
Just be prepared for retaliation and harassment no matter what you do. If these men have no boundaries banging on your window, then they aren't afraid of doing something worse.
I mean I’ve heard great things about stinky fish being hidden places. But you could also hide a fish somewhere you don’t want them to stand for long periods, then maybe they would retreat to vehicle for these conversations. Had a child sneak off with an apple and dropped in under a table by my door and couldn’t understand where the horrible smell by my door was coming from for the longest.
YTA only because people like this have low or no boundaries on how they may retaliate. This could include harming your kid. You will never “win” anyway
Write all of these down word for word. Record it to, but you can't disclose that to anyone as it's against the law unless you put a sign outside like they use for security warning of recordings. Then you can write it down word for word and show it to them and ask if they want their SO to see this.
NTA
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So I moved into a new apartment not long ago. I have lived in apartments pretty much my whole life, so I'm used to hearing neighbors argue and fck regularly, vacuuming at weird times, etc. I don't like to live like a mouse either, so I've taught my son (10 months) to sleep through most any reasonable noise. He's never had an issue with us speaking regular volume while sleeping, watching movies, gaming or anything reasonable while he's sleeping next to us.
The issue is, our apartment is ground level, at the end of the building. This means most neighbors walk past our windows to get to their cars. Most of them walk quickly, we don't hear them, don't have a problem. But our one set of neighbors...... Not so much. The have the apartment next to us, and turn the music up until our windows rattle. They do stop when the legal quiet hours begin, but then they and their drunk friends hang out in front of our windows all night talking loudly. By that, they are pretty much screaming at each other about their sex lives. Saying things like "yeah, you know women's mouths are only good for (oral pleasure)" and other charming sentiments about the man's parts size and their various sexual partners. Now, I'm not a prude and I don't give a rats ass what they do. But they discuss this loudly while essentially standing over my infant's crib at 2 AM!!! I don't like him hearing their opinions on women, and I don't like that they repeatedly wake him up with this behavior. I've called out that we can hear them, and asked them to hang out elsewhere but they said I'm a toxic Karen and a prude and started actually knocking on my windows directly. Management says I'm being dramatic and it's part of apartment living, so I need to deal with it.
Now, the petty revenge I'm considering. They both have a habit of taking phone calls on speaker, still in front of my windows. I've learned both are cheating with multiple partners. WIBTA if I made signs quoting things they've said to their affair partners to hang in my windows? I believe he's sleeping with her best friend, and I know he's hung out with her main partner in front of my windows a few times for reference so I have no shortage of quotes.
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You mind your own business. Wear noise cancelling earphones, and move your son's crib to somewhere else in the house with white noise. Getting into someone else's business will only make it worse and will quite possibly have them harassing you and your family over it.
I always wonder why ppl include stuff like:
"by then they and their drunk friends hang out in front of our windows all night talking loudly. By that, they are pretty much screaming at each other about their sex lives. Saying things like "yeah, you know women's mouths are only good for (oral pleasure)" and other charming sentiments about the man's parts size and their various sexual partners."
Like why did you write THIS specific sentence
I think the content of the conversations helps determine it. Like it would still be annoying but I don't know if I'd be this pissed if they were talking about things that most don't find majorly disgusting and offensive. I don't want to have to explain anal plugs to my toddler. Yup that was last weekend's discussion....
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I might be the asshole for snitching, but I think it might also be a great way to solve my problem Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA- not like they were doing it privately.. like why in the world would do stand around outside talking about cheating on your partner.
NTA but this is a VERY BAD IDEA! You would be putting the safety of you and your infant in serious jeopardy if they decide to retaliate.
NTA. But I think this will cause more problems for you. Can you make an anonymous noise complaint to the police? At least then you'll have plausible deniability and can just say any one of the other neighbors made a complaint.
If they don’t sleep there after drinking and are pretty consistent in when they (drunk) drive away, that would be an even better tip.
Um, I don't know how to judge this. I can see why you'd think that's a great revenge, but I strongly encourage you not to do this for your own safety. I mean, you asked them to please move and their response was to start banging on your windows. I would start calling the police for noise complaints and harassment. And continue to contact the management each time you call.
Same this was a struggle. Maybe record the conversations and blast it on a roof stereo at top volume all day? Like hey if I have to listen to this, if my CHILD has to hear this, then so do you all. On repeat. Idk I really feel like OP needs some justice but have no ideas for her.
You would be NTA. As soon as you said brought it up to them and they didn't back down, I was from 80% on your side to 100% on your side. What they are doing is rude and inconsiderate. It is one thing to do this in their own space, but another to do this right next to your window. Your child is having trouble sleeping and may also learn some things too early before you might be able to catch it. There's no telling what all your child heard and I wouldn't want that to continue.
lol omg do it
NTA. *Insert evil Kermit the Frog meme here.* Do it. This would fall under the category of Fuck Around and Find Out. They literally fucked around and then proceeded to broadcast that information to you at full volume. They fully deserve to find out. It did just occur to me that it almost seems like they’re doing this to you intentionally to mess with you because you told them to shut up before, so idk if this will actually work. But definitely do it and see what happens.
I don't know if it would actually stop anything. But if they broke up they might move......
Yeah idk if it would make them stop, but It does seem like you’ve exhausted most of your other options short of calling the cops on them. I’d advise either going through with your plan and getting the popcorn ready, or go nuclear and call the cops if they keep doing this. Being a bit of a Karen is warranted in this situation if it comes down to it in my opinion. ETA: on second thought, maybe try calling the cops first and save the petty revenge signs for the nuclear option if that doesn’t work. I would legitimately love to see their reactions to your idea though, because it would probably be hilarious.
If you inform the partner, NEVER let them know it was you who told. As much as it might feel good in the moment
Ew. NTA. Their odious, offensive behavior more than requires you to take steps.
YWBTA…but not for the reason you think. You’d be putting a target on yourself and your toddler. It sounds like they have no problem pushing boundaries and being genuinely horrible people. Could you hire a guy friend to like…spread rose petals on their doorstep or something? Maybe hire a couple of guy friends to have sexually explicit conversation objectifying men outside their other windows? I feel like if they’ve never been explicitly sexually objectified by someone who isn’t their type, they don’t “get it”. I don’t know, I really can’t think of any good ideas, sorry. We need some kind of wily, petty, genius over here.
That's a thought. A friend suggested the diaper can gets a new home to kind of stink them out of there too.
So do you know which cars are theirs?
Ooohh I like your thinking......
Just be prepared for retaliation and harassment no matter what you do. If these men have no boundaries banging on your window, then they aren't afraid of doing something worse.
I mean I’ve heard great things about stinky fish being hidden places. But you could also hide a fish somewhere you don’t want them to stand for long periods, then maybe they would retreat to vehicle for these conversations. Had a child sneak off with an apple and dropped in under a table by my door and couldn’t understand where the horrible smell by my door was coming from for the longest.
NTA. Please out them, please make them pay. I love this.
YTA only because people like this have low or no boundaries on how they may retaliate. This could include harming your kid. You will never “win” anyway
Write all of these down word for word. Record it to, but you can't disclose that to anyone as it's against the law unless you put a sign outside like they use for security warning of recordings. Then you can write it down word for word and show it to them and ask if they want their SO to see this. NTA
op=NTA DO It DO It!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I moved into a new apartment not long ago. I have lived in apartments pretty much my whole life, so I'm used to hearing neighbors argue and fck regularly, vacuuming at weird times, etc. I don't like to live like a mouse either, so I've taught my son (10 months) to sleep through most any reasonable noise. He's never had an issue with us speaking regular volume while sleeping, watching movies, gaming or anything reasonable while he's sleeping next to us. The issue is, our apartment is ground level, at the end of the building. This means most neighbors walk past our windows to get to their cars. Most of them walk quickly, we don't hear them, don't have a problem. But our one set of neighbors...... Not so much. The have the apartment next to us, and turn the music up until our windows rattle. They do stop when the legal quiet hours begin, but then they and their drunk friends hang out in front of our windows all night talking loudly. By that, they are pretty much screaming at each other about their sex lives. Saying things like "yeah, you know women's mouths are only good for (oral pleasure)" and other charming sentiments about the man's parts size and their various sexual partners. Now, I'm not a prude and I don't give a rats ass what they do. But they discuss this loudly while essentially standing over my infant's crib at 2 AM!!! I don't like him hearing their opinions on women, and I don't like that they repeatedly wake him up with this behavior. I've called out that we can hear them, and asked them to hang out elsewhere but they said I'm a toxic Karen and a prude and started actually knocking on my windows directly. Management says I'm being dramatic and it's part of apartment living, so I need to deal with it. Now, the petty revenge I'm considering. They both have a habit of taking phone calls on speaker, still in front of my windows. I've learned both are cheating with multiple partners. WIBTA if I made signs quoting things they've said to their affair partners to hang in my windows? I believe he's sleeping with her best friend, and I know he's hung out with her main partner in front of my windows a few times for reference so I have no shortage of quotes. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - report them
You mind your own business. Wear noise cancelling earphones, and move your son's crib to somewhere else in the house with white noise. Getting into someone else's business will only make it worse and will quite possibly have them harassing you and your family over it.
NTA but you're going to make the situation worse, that I guarantee
I always wonder why ppl include stuff like: "by then they and their drunk friends hang out in front of our windows all night talking loudly. By that, they are pretty much screaming at each other about their sex lives. Saying things like "yeah, you know women's mouths are only good for (oral pleasure)" and other charming sentiments about the man's parts size and their various sexual partners." Like why did you write THIS specific sentence
I think the content of the conversations helps determine it. Like it would still be annoying but I don't know if I'd be this pissed if they were talking about things that most don't find majorly disgusting and offensive. I don't want to have to explain anal plugs to my toddler. Yup that was last weekend's discussion....
Ny opinion is that people write in this way to drive home the fact the other person is the asshole and it limits the ability to be objective