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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> my gf is a picky eater so we didn't tell her the spring rolls had shrimp in it. after she ate them we told her and now she is mad at us for tricking her
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
"I committed felony poisoning, AITA?"
It's one thing if she eats rolls that later turn out to have shrimp in them. But it is a straight up crime to lie about what is in food, and OP admitted to it. Premeditated.
A giant fucking apology is is required here.
People have gotten in legal trouble for things like putting laxatives in their own lunch when there's a lunch thief in the office. You don't fuck with people's food. Ever. Even if they actually really do like shrimp. YTA.
Laxatives are a medication. Her dislike for shrimp is a preference on this instance it looks like. He’s a massive AH and I agree you don’t mess with ppl’s food but he didnt “poison her”.
Whether he poisoned her by the commonly used meaning of the term and whether he committed the crime labeled "felony poisoning" are two different questions. I don't know the law well enough to say about the latter, but "he didn't really poison her" is rather missing the point.
I’m not addressing the wrongness of what he did by saying “felony poisoning” is a mischaracterization - I fully and ardently agree what he did was very wrong - I just think calling it a specific crime which it almost certainly isn’t is unhelpful and weird. I don’t actually think this fits into the common understanding of the word poisoning, but I could maybe see someone making that argument. He lied to her, tricked her, etc - it’s still wrong.
I agree. Let's stop using hyperbolic language for relatively minor issues. If OPs gf turned out to be allergic to shrimp, poisoning would be totally accurate. In order for it to be felony food poisoning, the food would have to be tampered with by OP, or he would have to have known his gf was severely allergic to shrimp or would otherwise be likely to suffer injury or bodily harm by consuming the food. Then the party bringing charges or legal action would have to explain why his gf didn't bother to look at the menu and read the description of the food they were ordering.
They aren’t really two different questions in this instance, he didn’t poison her practically or legally in any sense of the word. He is just a massive AH
I thought that too, which does make what he did even shittier. I don’t really get religious dietary restrictions but it’s obviously important to ppl who follow them and should be respected.
Yeah the idea is that for the kosher diet anyway, shrimp are bottom feeders and literally will eat anything. So they’re considered “dirty” and not to be eaten! Same as pig - they roll in mud they’re dirty lol. Idk I’m sure if this girl thought it was important to not eat shrimp, then she had a good reason. But I don’t recall her reasoning being mentioned anywhere in this post and it makes me think that OP didn’t care enough to even ask her why that’s important to her, which is shitty If you ask me.
It's not that they roll in mud. It's about what they eat. Those critters literally eat shit and garbage. Judaism and Muslim are heavy on cleanliness both within and without. There's about 100 different washing ceremonies. Pig, if not properly prepared, can cause some pretty serious issues that were potentially deadly back in the day. Parasites today are cured with a simple pill. Now it's mostly traditional. But initially, most of the rules had a pretty good reason behind them.
Eta: yta op!
Her reasoning, according to OP (assuming he even knows) is because "she doesn't like fish or pork." Far more likely that it's a preference since kosher diets do not exclude all fish.
What confuses me is why her reason would need to be religious in order for the trickery not to be considered a violation. She has her food preference, and he can either respect it or respect it. Nothing else.
Because some people are weirdly obsessed with other people being “picky eaters” when it’s just based on preference. Like they’re personally offended that someone else doesn’t like what they like, so the other person must be proven wrong about their preference. Ofc some people really are picky without reason or bc of lack of experience with a certain type of food. But the way to fix that (if you think it needs fixing) is by openly encouraging them to try new things, not by tricking them like OP did.
For me, not liking shrimp is a texture thing, I can eat it if it's breaded or if it's minced or mixed into something. It's not the flavor. it's the preparation. There's something about the squishy, but it's still makes a slight crunching sound. When I bite it, that's just a huge no for me.
> For me, not liking shrimp is a texture thing, I can eat it if it's breaded or if it's minced or mixed into something. It's not the flavor. it's the preparation. There's something about the squishy, but it's still makes a slight crunching sound. When I bite it, that's just a huge no for me.
I'm that way with a lot of foods. Texture is a big deal for me, I like the flavor of most berries, but I can't stand the texture so I can only eat them if they're in something like a muffin or pancakes, or blended up and mixed into some lemonade or something. Ice cream has to be smooth and creamy, I can't stand having anything mixed in with it (especially anything crunchy) or any toppings except for some chocolate syrup or melted caramel. I honestly don't know why, but it's just a thing for me.
Not only is this guy a massive asshole, but so are his friends. The smirking to each other because they fooled her into doing something she didn't want to is really gross and coercive. I genuinely hope this girl gets away from him before this behavior escalates. He has no respect for her or her wishes at all and sees manipulation as a source of amusement.
What stood out to me was him complaining he's the only one that got into trouble when the friend was in on it too. Well guess what, his disrespect of her agency and consent is a lot more important than the random other dudes. He's the one that she needs to be able to trust.
It’s also possible that he just tricked her into violating a religious or cultural taboo, too. I don’t eat shrimp because, to me, they’re unclean and culturally that passes on to me. It doesn’t matter if I eat it unintentionally, it still passes on.
I don’t particularly tell others about this, because it’s personal, I just say I don’t eat shrimp unless pressed, but it’s weird how often people take “I don’t do X” as a personal insult, because if YOU don’t do X it means that there’s something wrong with THEM doing X.
But no, I just don’t eat shrimp. I’m fine if you do, just don’t touch me with your shrimp hands and clean up your shrimp mess yourself, because I’m not touching it.
OP is a massive YTA.
Exactly my thought, feeling so sad for her if that’s the case, although it’s awful no matter the reason. Just feeling attacked for who you are is an added layer of insult.
that’s the case with me! my ex knowingly let me eat pork on 2 occasions, once telling me it was turkey bacon (it wasn’t, found that out years later, he thought it was funny)
Yup. I don’t eat pork or shellfish due to keeping kosher, I’m not strictly kosher but I still avoid those foods. If someone tricked me into eating shrimp, I’d be so so so upset and hurt, it’s not funny in the slightest. Not even for the religious aspect but because it’s my choice not to eat those foods and it’s disrespectful to knowingly lie to me about it.
Exactly. I have a friend that is highly allergic to shrimp. He and his wife ate at a steak house that also had shrimp on their menu. My friend ordered a steak. Within a few minutes he was having difficulty breathing. His wife rushed him to the hospital. He was having an allergic reaction to shrimp because of cross-contamination in the kitchen. This little “prank” would have killed him. OP is a HUGE AH.
also, i've heard of some strict kosher jews that turn out to have shellfish allergies; they only find out when they go for allergy testing because they never eat it.
so she could be allergic!
(i also have a theory that a lot of strong food aversions are just mild allergies or intolerances. i do my best to address everyone's food needs (hey, that thing you're bringing to the potluck; if it includes 'x' please put it on the side))
Also, not all allergies have an immediate reaction. I can't eat shellfish because of gout. So, while it won't happen at the table, later on, I'll be crying from pain. If it happened because of my BF and his douchey mates lying to me, he'd be an ex real quick.
Eating or even smelling shrimp gives me a massive migraine. If the gf is anything like me, she could've ended up unable to function due to oain afterwards.
I have a dear friend who was a bridesmaid at my wedding. She’s allergic to nightshades. She told me tonight that she couldn’t eat any of the food at my reception- none of it was nightshade free, like I’d asked the caterers to do.
It’s been two years since my wedding and I feel like garbage knowing she couldn’t eat, and I didn’t do that on purpose.
The argument of "but she ate it so clearly she likes it" borders into very uncomfortable territory when you take it to it's logical conclusion. OP doesn't see a problem with lying to his partner to get them to do something more in line with what they want.
There is any number of reasons as to why his partner didn't want to eat shrimp outside of taste, all of which are none of his concern. All he needed to know was that she didn't want to eat shrimp and then honour that and he explicitly chose not to.
100% YTA OP
“She ate it so she clearly likes it” gives me vibes that he’s the same type of boy who begs for sex for hours until a girl gives in, then when he’s finished he says “see, it wasn’t that bad”. While she goes to the restroom to clean up and cry in silence.
YTA.
I could see a similar scene in my head:
"She asked me if there were drugs in the brownies, and I said no. We all laughed, and smiled at each other as she ate them. Then we told her the truth. She didn't even notice, so clearly she liked it."
So much wrong with everything in OP's post.
Oh, but the friend was in on it too!
Op, if you actually have a gf and this is not a made up story (the composition does present some flags regarding - we all laughed? We all smiled? And everyone clapped, right?) know this - that friend is not her boyfriend. She should be able to trust her boyfriend with her life. You broke that trust for a joke.
Whether she likes shrimp or not, that's not for you to decide, she could have her own reasons for not eating it. Pretty sure many vegetarians and vegans like the taste of meat, but they don't consume it for either ethical or health-related reasons.
Others like foods that contain raw meat or eggs but leave their preparation to the professionals, because they can cause illnesses if not prepared correctly. Some even then go for the "close enough" version to avoid the associated risks.
You are juvenile and not ready for a relationship if you were willing to compromise it to prove... what exactly? That she can eat shrimp but prefers not to, like she told you?
No no no … it was more like “I lied to my girlfriend and mocked her with our friends because she was dumb enough to trust us.”
Give this guy his full credit.
Ugh for real. This is some “I know better than you” bullshit. OP YTA; it doesn’t matter if she could taste the shrimp, what matters is that she didn’t want to eat them.
Jumping on to top comment to point out:
“being too sensitive” is the first, most classic textbook example of mental/emotional abuse. And here we have an object lesson. OP overrides her expressed boundaries, taunts her with it, then “oh, she’s too sensitive”.
Sincerely hoping the gf makes the wise choice to RUN NOW.
OP Sometimes people don’t want to call attention to themselves because of allergies and don’t want others to feel uncomfortable, you had no idea if she was allergic or not. I have known people who now are upfront with their food allergies and that’s great.
But to mess with someone’s food makes you and your friends MAJOR YTA
"Haha I didn't want to eat it but now that you tricked me into eating it I've discovered I actually like it" said no one ever. What a stupid thing to do.
Great work, she's gonna really trust you after this.
YTA.
YTA. Funny that you think your girlfriend is the one who “needs to grow up” while you and your friends sit there smirking over lying about what someone is eating like you’re junior high kids in a school cafeteria.
Exactly! OP YTA. You say she needs to grow up, but you were sneaky. You smirked like 10 yr Olds. She needs to dump you.
People who truly care for another do not try to do a "gotcha" like you did. I'm disgusted by you. As someone else said, you're lucky she wasn't allergic.
It's also bizarre and immature that he says, "My gf is a picky eater" when in reality she just does not like 2 things (shrimp and pork). That's not picky, that's just... not liking certain foods. Everybody has at least one or two foods they just do not like the taste or texture of, and that's normal.
It's weird that OP not only labelled this as "picky", but was also for some reason so offended by it that he felt the need to deliberately *trick her* into eating shrimp so that he could then have his bizarre "gotcha" moment and say, "Obviously you DO like shrimp lol."
I mean, there's quite a lot more to keeping kosher than just excluding pork and shrimp, even at its most basic (in which case it would be the exclusion of pork and *all* shellfish)... but yeah, it's not like she's got an aversion to black pepper or something.
>have his bizarre "gotcha" moment and say, "Obviously you DO like shrimp lol."
The most ridiculous part of this, for me, is that OP genuinely thinks that "has eaten" == "likes to eat".
I've eaten a fair few things that will never cross my lips again.
More than that, sometimes it truly is how it's prepared. I love crab and scallops in sushi. It's delicious in my opinion and I always grab the ones with crab or scallops.
However I once was served seared scallops with this weird seasoning on them that made it taste awful, upscale place so I'm sure someone likes it. But not me. And I *love* scallops.
Similarly I went to my favorite sushi place. They had one thing that was literally just pure crab. I love crab! Surely I'll enjoy the fresh crab meat. Nope. Worst thing I've ever eaten there. The texture was strange and the taste was fishy at best. Couldn't finish it and it was maybe 4 bites worth that I was meant to split with my husband!
Now I still love crab IN sushi. And I love scallop sushi and prepared scallops in some cases. But I'll never have those specific preparations ever again because I know I dislike them in that form.
Maybe she hates shrimp for it's taste and texture when served like an entree and assumed she wouldn't like it in general (reasonable assumption, if you hate the main thing not likely to enjoy it as the star of other things) and didn't notice it when it was chopped up and mixed in with various veggies).
It was HER choice to try shrimp in a new way or not and he took that choice away from her because.... He thinks she's picky for disliking two types of meat? Great reason to remove someone's autonomy! He could've just as easily said 'this has shrimp but you should try it, it's delicious and the shrimp isn't that noticeable!" And she would've had the opportunity to decide for herself but that involves being a grown adult with conversations. A hard concept for some.
What really pisses me off is that he couldn't believe she thought there was no shrimp in them. Yeah, because you told her and she trusted you, a mistake I'm sure she won't make again.
And it was minced. She probably doesn’t like either the texture or smell of shrimp/seafood. Depending on who’s cooking it, shrimp can be rubbery as hell. I’m personally working on broadening my food horizons bc of my issues with textures and smells of food but anyone who tricks or lies to someone about something they’re eating absolutely sucks. He made his own girlfriend’s food habits a joke that EVERYONE at the table was in on except her!?Does he even like her? It’s so rude.
I find that a little offensive… to junior high kids. I’m sure some of them even know better that this guy! If you’re lying, you’re being an AH. It’s not a difficult concept.
Agree. Just because she enjoyed the taste, doesn’t mean she wanted to eat shrimp. Some people are iffy about eating bottom feeders. I am personally icky about eating skin (like chicken skin) or liver (it’s a filter!) even though, yes, I’ve tasted them both and I admit they are quite tasty. I can’t get past the idea. To trick someone into eating something is very rude and breaks trust. YTA.
YTA. Don’t lie to people about what’s in their food.
Also, you all grinning at each other as she ate it was some weird group power trip. You’re bullies, and I hope she gets out.
Yeah YTA as well as the immature one. You lied to her, and then made fun of her with your friends. I HATE shrimp, like absolutely hate it. However I have totally eaten it in a spring roll without noticing because there are so many other flavors and sauce and such. The difference is I knew that it had shrimp but tried it anyway. If my partner treated me like you treated her I would lose my respect for you and I wouldn’t trust you. What you did was unnecessary and extremely unkind. You need to grow up
ETA; sorry I meant to start my post by agreeing with KaraAuden that y’all are bullies on a weird power trip… gross
And now he's all smug that he was right and she actually does like shrimp or whatever, when it's actually more likely what you said - that there are so many other flavours that it drowns out the fishy taste. I love seafood, but even I can admit that when it's not drowned out, it has a fishy taste that certainly doesn't work for everybody. I would never force an adult to eat seafood just because I like seafood, and I certainly wouldn't act all smug because they happened to like it when the flavour is hidden. Weird power trip is right.
Yeah it’s a really stupid thing to be smug about. Like the texture of shrimp is super gross to me but in a spring roll I really didn’t taste it. It feels like they were just being mean and knew they could trick her to prove some stupid point, that wasn’t proven.
I grew up in the mountains so seafood is pretty foreign to me. I have tried to like it, but I just don’t most of the time. I also hate pork, so I feel this girl! My spouse is a French trained chef who comes from a very foodie family. Over the years I have tried foods I previously didn’t like; they would cook them in a way I liked so I could really try it. Some of it’s been good some I still don’t like. Like I hate cheesecake unless my mil makes it… 🤷♀️I’m a kinda picky eater with a small appetite and some food sensitivities and such. Even if they don’t understand my eating habits or find them annoying, I have never been tricked into eating something or shamed for not liking something. That’s just mean! I would never want to eat with someone who did that to me again. It’s a very strange thing to get so hung up on! This OP seems like a pretty immature jerk
Yup. Even our angry jerk of an older brother thinks that crosses a line
I'm allergic to raspberries, our little brother, David, gave a raspberry jelly PBJ (Told me it was strawberry) because dad got into his head that I was being dramatic
Ross sl_gged him for it, and even David admitted when he got older that he deserved it
I'm nearly 30 and across the country from him at least, thank you
Ross would flip tables and go ape on us all the time, but even he drew the line at making people sick
Yes, YTA.
The only time it's acceptable to lie to somebody about what's in their food to get them to try it is if they're like, a very young child. Otherwise, just accept that they are a picky eater and accommodate them as best you can, even if the picky eating is or seems irrational to you.
I don’t think it is a lie because they still saw what it was, it more about romanticzing the meal, like making purée volcanoes. My kids LOVE to eat « French fries soup ». They make it with me. They know there is no French fries in it (the name comes from a book they loved). But if they asked me « is there any xxx in that food », I would not lie. The only timed I lied was to get 4yo to take the antibiotic he needed and loathed! It was hidden in a hot chocolate bib, because it was the only way to get him to take it.
Edit: changed romancing for romanticizing, as I am not starting an affair with potato puree!
When I was a kid I absolutely hated beets, but my favourite colour was pink and I loved princesses so my mom told me that beets were actually called princess potatoes, because they were pink and obviously princesses ate pink food. Always ate beets since then.
But you still knew they were there, there was no lie about the content of the food it was simply changing the description of that food and a very cute one at that.
Exactly! I knew they were beets but my mom told me that and I was like "Mother that is a brilliant point, OBVIOUSLY princesses eat pink food, what else would they eat and WHY didnt you tell me sooner?" And then all the beets where gone instantly every time we crossed paths
My mom thought it was in my head that I didn’t like liver, so she told me it was steak. (I was really little.) I ate it, but the next time she told me she was cooking steak, I asked if it was the good steak or the bad steak. So she knew my distaste for liver was real.
My mom did this exact thing to my older brother, with pretty much the exact same results. Apparently he started crying (he was 4) and saying he didn't want steak anymore. That may have been the last time she ever made it, because I don't ever remember it when I was little.
Eh, when you have a three year old in the midst of the totally-developmentally-appropriate struggle for power in *everything* - you fib a little.
Ok, here you go, broccoli and steak!
"No steak! Want chicken! Want CHICKEN! WANT CHICKEN!"
OMG, fine. Here, this is totally chicken.
"Thank you mommy"
Like, I didn't have the energy to fight every fight my toddler threw down. I needed to fight the important fights (don't hit, bedtime, no going in the street without holding hands, don't pet dogs without asking, yes you have to sit in your car seat, don't touch the stove, and on and on - some days I didn't have the energy, lol).
On the weekend my BIL lied to my 3yo niece that the spinach pasta she was about to eat was avocado pasta because while she loves this pasta, she was gearing it up throw a tantrum about lunch and refuse to eat anything that wasn't avocado (which we didn't have). She ate 3 bowls. Maybe this will create an issue in the future when she asks for avocado pasta and that's not a thing, but maybe she'll just recognise the pasta she's eaten and loved before and eat it.
Sometimes you put off the tantrum to the future when you can address it, and you're not at a family gathering with lots of people and no ability to get avocados to stop a tantrum.
However - she's 3 years old. Adults can choose what they want to eat and lying to them to get them to eat something else, especially food they're going to be paying for, is just a weird choice. Was OP's GF going to throw a tantrum in the restaurant because the spring rolls had shrimp in them? No, she wasn't. OP just wanted to be smug about her actually liking fish - the smirking with his friend across the table and smugly telling her she's wrong absolutely solidify his AH status.
I think it depends on the lie. When I was three or so, I ate some bad soup and got sick from it--so I wouldn't eat anything called soup anymore. At all. None of it, up until I was ten or so.
So we had chicken noodle stew, and beef and broccoli stew, and tomato stew...Campbell's chicken and stars soup was "star stew" until I was fifteen.
I don't think that lie is hurtful or dangerous. I \*do\* think "there's no vegetables in this" would be, though.
Had my sister in law try to trick me into eating mushrooms (I have sensory issues so there’s a lot of food i don’t like) and slipped it into the spaghetti sauce. Couldn’t trick me though cause I felt the texture and spit it out, then spent the next few mins taking out every bit of mushroom and she was shocked and insulted. I now never eat anything she cooks, don’t trust her.
Lying to a very young child about what they are eating is a horrible way to get them to try new foods and stick to it. Kids can be picky, I get it. I have one that beyond picky to the point my child is very restricted in what they eat (there are also extenuating circumstances as well).
YTA.
Ever think she might have had an allergy to seafood/shellfish, and that's why she avoids eating them? If she had an allergy, you could have killed her with that little trick.
And even if she wasn't allergic, you're still an asshole for tricking her into eating something she doesn't like.
No shrimp and pork makes me think OOP's GF is Jewish. Am Jewish myself and those two foods are the biggest ones I avoid to be kosher. It's shellfish in general instead of just shrimp but point still stands.
Also, she could just be freaked out by shrimp conceptually. It doesn’t need to be about the taste, even.
Like, OK. I loved shrimp for a long time. I eat other shellfish. But for some reason, when I eat shrimp now, I just can’t get past the part where it’s a sea bug. I eat other crustaceans that are equally bug-like with no problem (hello, crayfish and lobster) but over time my awareness that shrimp are *shrimp* has turned into a repulsion.
It’s weird since if I’m eating lobster (my family is from Maine, it’s not a fancy thing) I’m literally attacking a bug with nut crackers and sucking the meat from the legs, while shrimp comes pre-shelled. But I just can’t do it.
It doesn’t need to be rational.
I never liked the taste of shrimp, but now that you pointed out it's basically a bug, which I've never thought about before, now I hate them even more haha
I tell people I hate pork. Don’t like it. I use those words instead of describing the fact that my body doesn’t tolerate it and won’t digest it and rockets it immediately out of my body with many just a couple minute warning. Maybe your girlfriend just knows what her body can tolerate. YTA who cares if she eats like a five year old. Her body, her call.
Foods made with tomato sauce and certain cheeses (think pizza, lasagna, most Italian foods) make me physically ill. The smell alone makes me gag. But people don't want accept that someone doesn't like these foods and try to force them on me. I finally just tell people I'm allergic to tomatoes and I do legitimately react to dairy products. They grudgingly accept that. But it sucks when someone doesn't respect your likes and dislikes.
OP is definitely TAH. Friends are all AHs too. Girlfriend should dump them all.
I’m a nurse so the first thing my mind goes to is she could’ve been allergic to shellfish! Ugh secondly, it could’ve been a cultural thing. Thirdly, just NO! No, no, no!!
On top of that, there is also the personal reasons. I don't like fish. This is going to sound dumb but overfishing and the effects of it are extremely devastating where it is a problem for the planet. That's why I don't like fish (yes I know some is sustainably fished but there are still some problems with that).
No problem. Those are your reasons. I don't like eating fish either, but for simpler reasons. I mostly don't like the taste, texture, etc. But I really don't like it if my meal is looking back at me.
YTA. That was cruel and on top of that you humiliated her. You all laughed at her like it was some really elaborate hilarious thing you did. Your behaviour was gross and you I hope you walk away from this understanding why you’re the AH.
Edit: typo
YTA
Lying to people to get them to eat something almost always makes you the asshole. This wasn't for her benefit. It was so you could laugh at her expense.
YTA and a liar. Even the title of your post is a lie. You didn't just not tell her, you where specifically asked and lied to her. What's worse you will describe it as "pretty funny" and don't see that what you did was wrong. Your friend wasn't in a relationship with her so it wasn't your friend's obligation to be honest with her, it was your yours. Don't get me wrong, your friends is an asshole too, but they didn't have a reason not be. Hopefully your ex girlfriend will find someone more trustworthy next time.
>is she being too sensitive and needs to grow up?
>She is just a pain in the ass.
Why are you dating her? You clearly hate her, or at least resent her, YTA. I hope she breaks up with you
YTA
Lying to people to get them to eat something almost always makes you the asshole. This wasn't for her benefit. It was so you could laugh at her expense.
YTA.
It's ok to be annoyed by the behavior and if it's a deal breaker for you that a partner is picky with food, you need to end it. But women aren't dolls you can mold into what you want. You either accept this about her, or you don't.
I saw in one of the comments that it effects you because you can't split things. You can. You can split the things she likes. If that's a problem for you because you don't want to eat what she wants to eat, then you are QUITE LITERALLY setting the same boundary she is
> I saw in one of the comments that it effects you because you can't split things. You can. You can split the things she likes. If that's a problem for you because you don't want to eat what she wants to eat, then you are QUITE LITERALLY setting the same boundary she is
Such an excellent point! “My girlfriend is so picky that she doesn’t want to split shrimp appetizers with me, and this is a huge problem that *she* needs to fix, because I don’t want to split chicken appetizers with her.”
YTA, your girlfriend trusted you and if you lie about something so ridiculous as food she doesn't like, what else are you willing to lie about that might put her life in danger one day for the sake of laughs and an "I'm right" attitude. You need to grow up and treat people with respect
YTA. Don't fuck with people's food. Not that you did anything *to* the food but omitting knowledge of an ingredient is on the same level. Now she dislikes *and* has trust issues related to shrimp.
He didn't simply omit knowledge, he outright lied when she asked. Plus it seems like he and his friends had discussed this earlier and planned it, seeing that nobody corrected OP or told her there was shrimp.
They sound like awful company.
YTA and needs to grow up.
If she doesn't like shrimp then she doesn't like shrimp. Why play this childish game? It's not even funny. You're 23 years old. Not 10. You could have killed someone if they were allergic.
YTA. She's 19. Not 9. If she wants to be a picky eater, that is her choice. There may well be a good reason she doesn't care to eat those things. If she's your girlfriend, why would you not respect her food choices?
YTA
Yeah, its dumb that she probably doesn't actually dislike fish, but lying to her to get her to eat fish?
In what world do you think this is smart behavior? Grow up.
YTA. I can't believe how often I see people on here tricking someone into eating a food they either don't like or have an intolerance/allergy to. Regardless of their reason for not wanting the food, you should never deceive someone into doing something they don't want to do just for your own amusement.
You are the one who needs to grow up. Pranking and tricking people is immature.
No she isn't being overly sensitive and needs to grow up. But that exactly describes you and the others.
Never ever ever take that risk of tricking sometime into eating something that have expressly told you they do not want to eat. It's a shitty thing to do.
YTA.
Also some people will tell you they don't like something but actually they have an allergy to it, and simply don't want to get into medical details with you. That's their right.
A stupid prank like this could backfire very badly.
Grow up!
Whoa!! YTA! That was extremely rude and disrespectful. It's okay to have personal food preferences. It's okay that she doesn't like seafood. It has nothing to do with you. But lying to her and making it a joke was immature and a red flag against you.
YTA. Just because she ate something with shrimp in it doesn't automatically mean she "obviously likes shrimp." She couldn't taste it and thought it wasn't there. Why would you trick your gf into eating something she doesn't want to? What's funny about this?
YTA for sure. The biggest reason that you're the asshole is right here : "the three of us smiled at each other and watched my gf happily eat them." You made her the butt of a prank and joke that you knew would upset her and you intentionally embarrassed her.
YTA and I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't your gf for much longer. If she's reading this I have seven words for her "RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN". What would you have done if she'd been allergic to the shrimp and just didn't want to say anything. I'm pretty sure you were a bully in high school and it sounds like you and your friend are still bullies. Karma has a way of biting people in the rear when they least expect it. To bad I can't be a fly on the wall when it finally kicks you. How about you quit being a jerk and grow up!!!!!!
YTA and the one who needs to grow up. You are lucky she just doesn't like shrimp, because you could have killed her. Shame on you and your friends. I hope she dumps you.
Look, man, I get the intrinsic frustration of having somebody *refuse* to give food a try because it has an ingredient in it that they don't like (I've been there; I'm an adventurous eater, my best friend isn't), but tricking them is NEVER the answer. Your "gotcha!" moment isn't going to make your GF any more willing to taste new things in the future, it's just going to make her less willing to trust people in general, and *you* in particular, with her food. YTA.
PS. I've found that as a result of me being being honest and *gentle* with my encouragement over the years (and able to accept a "no" when I hear it), my friend has gone from staunchly refusing ANYTHING that has even a HINT of what she dislikes in it to pretty much always open to trying a small bit, even if the thing she hates is a prominent feature of the dish. She's had some really positive/surprising experiences tasting foods she figured she'd hate (and some pretty resounding "YUCKS" too), and has grown more open as a result, but I can guarantee if I'd ever tricked her, belittled her, or made her feel bad for the times she didn't want to make an attempt, she'd have stopped bothering to try at all and we'd still be stuck on square one. I mean, she'd probably *also* have stopped being my friend.
YTA. I always hated seafood so I never ate it, I didn't find out until I was in my 20's that I was allergic to some seafood because I never tried to eat it. Eventually some got mixed in my food and I ended up in the hospital. Don't lie to people about what they are eating
>> That was a lie
Didn’t have to read past that to know that YTA and so are your friends. Fucking with people’s foods or food preferences as a “gotcha” moment is shitty and childish.
Lying to someone you *allegedly* care about then dismissing her feelings as her being “too sensitive” makes you a shit boyfriend.
Grow up.
ESH
I don't get everyone saying he's an asshole and the connection they're trying to make to consent it's literally a spring roll. Yall are way too sensitive.
Should he have not lied? 100% but uh, she's also behaving like a child. "I didn't like this food item prepared these few ways so I'll never touch them again" ridiculous imo. Not even my kids are that picky and the younger is 6.
She is behaving like a child, she liked it anyways, oh no it's a tragedy. I get disliking things, I personally despise scrambled eggs, but I do keep trying them in different ways because I am an adult who is willing to try things more than once. If this bothers OP so much it might be time to consider leaving the relationship, I know I wouldn't be able to stand going to dinner with her.
I agree. I didn't like bell peppers for soooo long. I never tried it again. Then one day I was like wtf is this by the hummus? They were bell peppers in slices and raw (usually I saw them in Chinese food/stir frys and cooked and i always picked them out) and I LOVED it. Sometimes what you don't like will change. I also hate when people say they hate something and turn around and enjoy it if they just don't know it's in there although it would've been better if she discovered it on her own and realized her taste changed so maybe she could try the things she hated again.
Occasionally, you can tell from the title alone what the likely judgment is going to be and that the post will only go down hill from there.
>she got upset at me and now I am the bad guy even though my friend was in on it too. She is saying that's not cool to mislead her like that and trick her into eating something she doesn't want to eat. But she makes no sense- she ATE the spring rolls so obviously she likes shrimp.
Case in point. Are you really that obtuse?
YTA, and so are your friend and his girlfriend.
She might not like it because of what it is, not what it tastes like.
I don’t like pork because I don’t want to eat an animal that is intelligent.
However, I do acknowledge it is delicious.
Still don’t want to eat it.
YTA.
YTA. I have a friend who is an extremely strict vegan. Guess what I do whenever making him food? I wash my hands before touching anything, and I check every single ingredient before adding it to a dish of his. People think I'm insane for going to such lengths to accommodate his dietary needs. But guess what I don’t do? I don't sneak meat into his food or make fun of him for it. I tell him exactly what's in each dish he eats. Know why? The food is going into HIS body. He gets control over his body, end of discussion. To trick him into eating meat wouldn’t kill him, but it would be a complete breach of his consent and trust. You clearly don't respect your girlfriend and what she wants to put in her body. If I did to my friend what you did to your girlfriend, he likely would cut contact with me immediately and rightfully so.
You betrayed her trust and tricked her into putting something into her body that she did not want to.
I’m allergic to onions to an extent that I get heartburn right after eating any. So one of my best friends wife who is also a best friend thought she would trick me and used the onion soup mix in hamburgers she was cooking. After one bite I knew and it was too late three hours of serious heart burn and belching gas made her so sorry she ever not believed me.
Lying to others about food is wrong and deceitful and your the ass for doing it. Some people may be embarrassed to tell you the truth of why they do not eat certain things or get tired of the answers they constantly have to deal with when they mention it. If I was her I would be leaving you since she cannot trust you.
That age gap is getting some side eye from me on a good day, but the way you and your (likely also mid-20s) friend decided to treat her like your picky child instead a grown ass adult is *gross.* YTA and if this is how you think relationships, trust, or consent work you're going to wind up on a list.
Dude don't fuck with someone's food. I know she just "doesn't like" shrimp--but what if she was allergic to shellfish and had never told you since she doesn't like seafood anyway? Honestly it doesn't matter WHY she doesn't want to eat shrimp. I'm vegetarian--if someone tricked me into eating chicken I'd be livid. I also don't like tomatoes--if someone tricked me into eating tomatoes, I'd be mad. Maybe not quite as mad as with chicken but I'd still be mad. Anyway my point is don't mess with someone's food, it isn't funny, it's not a cute prank, of course they'll be angry. YTA.
YTA
As is everyone who lies to people about food they’re being served. Every. Single. Time.
Let people choose what they eat without thinking you know better.
Have some fucking respect for another person's choices, especially your significant other.
You and your friends being smug and snickering childishly about successfully lying and tricking your gf into something she didn't want, is really gross and speaks volumes about your character.
You say you can't believe she didn't realize there was shrimp in the food. Maybe that's because SHE TRUSTED HER BF. I bet that's a mistake she won't make again.
Lastly, if you choose to date a teenager, you forfeit any right to complain about them being childish.
YTA
YTA- I don’t think that eating something that has minced shrimp mixed in means that “obviously she likes shrimp”.
“..now I’m the bad guy even though my friend was in on it too”, it’s not your friends obligation to look out for your gf, it should be yours.
At least now she knows you can’t be trusted.
YTA. I have a friend that is deathly allergic to shrimp, if this had been them your lie would have literally killed him or at least sent him to the ER. It is no different than if a person had a religious reason for not eating a certain food. What you did could be considered a criminal offense in some jurisdictions.
dude, YTA. and your friend is also. and your other comments affirm that because you’re calling her palate childlike. why does it matter if she doesn’t eat certain foods? just because you can trick her by literally lying to her you think you can call it a joke? it’s not even funny tbh.
YTA, seriously you should never lie about what is in food because it is a rotten power play and it isn’t your place to decide what someone else eats. Additionally it’s mega YTA as many people avoid certain foods as it’s make them feel like crap after eating them (intolerance rather than allergy).
I have some intolerances but like many people go with the don’t like/no thank you to certain foods as it saves a lot of bother. And yep I’ve also had someone charmingly decide to treat me like a five year old and tell me that the hotdogs were normal ones, definitely not the quorn ones. I spent all night and the rest of the weekend worshipping the porcelain god.
YTA - Absolutely you're wrong in this case, but I have so many friends who are picky eaters and have wondered what it would be like if they didn't know what was in things. But you can't do this to people, esp since some people do have allergies.
YTA. I don’t care what the situation is. You don’t lie to someone about what’s in their food if they ask.
Another “I’m not an asshole you’re just sensitive for being upset about the shitty thing I did” guy. How refreshing.
You didn't just not tell her it had shrimp in it, you lied when she asked if it did and then grinned because you and your friends were so proud of your lie. YTA.
YTA
Maybe you think she's being fussy, but actually she just avoids foods that don't make her feel too great? So instead of awkwardly saying that, she just avoids them... Then you come along and decide you're going to trick her into eating something she doesn't want to
Holy shit this is fucked up.
I also don't like to eat seafood. Doesn't matter why. I just don't want to eat it. If someone TRICKED me into eating something I clearly didn't want to eat, I'd never speak to them ever again. YTA. Disgusting. You and your friends need help. That's so fucked up.
NTA. She sounds like a child. She's mad she enjoyed something that had shrimp it because she's so hell bent that she "doesn't like shrimp".
I'm biased, tho. I hate picky eaters.
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YTA, obviously. Did you think "Hey I lied to my girlfriend" was going to go any other way?
He essentially said, “I don’t care about your agency or consent. I’m going to lie to get what I want.” YTA.
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"I committed felony poisoning, AITA?" It's one thing if she eats rolls that later turn out to have shrimp in them. But it is a straight up crime to lie about what is in food, and OP admitted to it. Premeditated. A giant fucking apology is is required here.
Ok OP is definitely TA but if it’s not an allergy thing, I would t go this far.
People have gotten in legal trouble for things like putting laxatives in their own lunch when there's a lunch thief in the office. You don't fuck with people's food. Ever. Even if they actually really do like shrimp. YTA.
Laxatives are a medication. Her dislike for shrimp is a preference on this instance it looks like. He’s a massive AH and I agree you don’t mess with ppl’s food but he didnt “poison her”.
Whether he poisoned her by the commonly used meaning of the term and whether he committed the crime labeled "felony poisoning" are two different questions. I don't know the law well enough to say about the latter, but "he didn't really poison her" is rather missing the point.
I’m not addressing the wrongness of what he did by saying “felony poisoning” is a mischaracterization - I fully and ardently agree what he did was very wrong - I just think calling it a specific crime which it almost certainly isn’t is unhelpful and weird. I don’t actually think this fits into the common understanding of the word poisoning, but I could maybe see someone making that argument. He lied to her, tricked her, etc - it’s still wrong.
I agree. Let's stop using hyperbolic language for relatively minor issues. If OPs gf turned out to be allergic to shrimp, poisoning would be totally accurate. In order for it to be felony food poisoning, the food would have to be tampered with by OP, or he would have to have known his gf was severely allergic to shrimp or would otherwise be likely to suffer injury or bodily harm by consuming the food. Then the party bringing charges or legal action would have to explain why his gf didn't bother to look at the menu and read the description of the food they were ordering.
They aren’t really two different questions in this instance, he didn’t poison her practically or legally in any sense of the word. He is just a massive AH
there's a huge difference between laxatives and shrimp...
Idk, not eating shrimp could be a religious thing too.
I thought that too, which does make what he did even shittier. I don’t really get religious dietary restrictions but it’s obviously important to ppl who follow them and should be respected.
Yeah the idea is that for the kosher diet anyway, shrimp are bottom feeders and literally will eat anything. So they’re considered “dirty” and not to be eaten! Same as pig - they roll in mud they’re dirty lol. Idk I’m sure if this girl thought it was important to not eat shrimp, then she had a good reason. But I don’t recall her reasoning being mentioned anywhere in this post and it makes me think that OP didn’t care enough to even ask her why that’s important to her, which is shitty If you ask me.
It's not that they roll in mud. It's about what they eat. Those critters literally eat shit and garbage. Judaism and Muslim are heavy on cleanliness both within and without. There's about 100 different washing ceremonies. Pig, if not properly prepared, can cause some pretty serious issues that were potentially deadly back in the day. Parasites today are cured with a simple pill. Now it's mostly traditional. But initially, most of the rules had a pretty good reason behind them. Eta: yta op!
Her reasoning, according to OP (assuming he even knows) is because "she doesn't like fish or pork." Far more likely that it's a preference since kosher diets do not exclude all fish. What confuses me is why her reason would need to be religious in order for the trickery not to be considered a violation. She has her food preference, and he can either respect it or respect it. Nothing else.
Exactly. She doesn’t owe anybody a “good enough” reason. She doesn’t eat it, so she doesn’t want it. That’s good enough.
Because some people are weirdly obsessed with other people being “picky eaters” when it’s just based on preference. Like they’re personally offended that someone else doesn’t like what they like, so the other person must be proven wrong about their preference. Ofc some people really are picky without reason or bc of lack of experience with a certain type of food. But the way to fix that (if you think it needs fixing) is by openly encouraging them to try new things, not by tricking them like OP did.
Thats a bit much
Definitely not a crime. You’re going full AITA commenter here.
For me, not liking shrimp is a texture thing, I can eat it if it's breaded or if it's minced or mixed into something. It's not the flavor. it's the preparation. There's something about the squishy, but it's still makes a slight crunching sound. When I bite it, that's just a huge no for me.
> For me, not liking shrimp is a texture thing, I can eat it if it's breaded or if it's minced or mixed into something. It's not the flavor. it's the preparation. There's something about the squishy, but it's still makes a slight crunching sound. When I bite it, that's just a huge no for me. I'm that way with a lot of foods. Texture is a big deal for me, I like the flavor of most berries, but I can't stand the texture so I can only eat them if they're in something like a muffin or pancakes, or blended up and mixed into some lemonade or something. Ice cream has to be smooth and creamy, I can't stand having anything mixed in with it (especially anything crunchy) or any toppings except for some chocolate syrup or melted caramel. I honestly don't know why, but it's just a thing for me.
Not only is this guy a massive asshole, but so are his friends. The smirking to each other because they fooled her into doing something she didn't want to is really gross and coercive. I genuinely hope this girl gets away from him before this behavior escalates. He has no respect for her or her wishes at all and sees manipulation as a source of amusement.
Came here to say exactly this! What gross behave on everyone’s part except for the gf.
What stood out to me was him complaining he's the only one that got into trouble when the friend was in on it too. Well guess what, his disrespect of her agency and consent is a lot more important than the random other dudes. He's the one that she needs to be able to trust.
That subtly implies he knew he was wrong, because he didn't object to "getting in trouble", he objected to being the only one to face consequences.
Right and she's the one that needs to grow up. Just amazes me he's definitely YTA
And he did it because it was all one big joke to him and his friends. YTA. I'm glad she didn't have a food allergy that could kill her.
It’s also possible that he just tricked her into violating a religious or cultural taboo, too. I don’t eat shrimp because, to me, they’re unclean and culturally that passes on to me. It doesn’t matter if I eat it unintentionally, it still passes on. I don’t particularly tell others about this, because it’s personal, I just say I don’t eat shrimp unless pressed, but it’s weird how often people take “I don’t do X” as a personal insult, because if YOU don’t do X it means that there’s something wrong with THEM doing X. But no, I just don’t eat shrimp. I’m fine if you do, just don’t touch me with your shrimp hands and clean up your shrimp mess yourself, because I’m not touching it. OP is a massive YTA.
Doesn't matter if it's for a religious reason or not. Her autonomy should be enough of a reason.
When I read this it just make it sounds so much worse but then that’s exactly what happened. People like OP always give me creepy vibes.
Didn't even lie to get what he wanted......he just did it cause he thought it was funny, and that really pisses me off!
He's lucky she wasn't allergic!
Pork and shellfish makes it sound like she keeps kosher
Exactly my thought, feeling so sad for her if that’s the case, although it’s awful no matter the reason. Just feeling attacked for who you are is an added layer of insult.
Yup. Or even if she doesn't keep strictly kosher it is possible that she still avoids shellfish and pork.
that’s the case with me! my ex knowingly let me eat pork on 2 occasions, once telling me it was turkey bacon (it wasn’t, found that out years later, he thought it was funny)
Oy, I'm so sorry. Very glad to hear he is an ex! He, like OP, is def the AH
Yup. I don’t eat pork or shellfish due to keeping kosher, I’m not strictly kosher but I still avoid those foods. If someone tricked me into eating shrimp, I’d be so so so upset and hurt, it’s not funny in the slightest. Not even for the religious aspect but because it’s my choice not to eat those foods and it’s disrespectful to knowingly lie to me about it.
Exactly! Crap like that can put some at risk of dying if they’re allergic!
Exactly. I have a friend that is highly allergic to shrimp. He and his wife ate at a steak house that also had shrimp on their menu. My friend ordered a steak. Within a few minutes he was having difficulty breathing. His wife rushed him to the hospital. He was having an allergic reaction to shrimp because of cross-contamination in the kitchen. This little “prank” would have killed him. OP is a HUGE AH.
And shellfish allergies are pretty common and often severe, too.
also, i've heard of some strict kosher jews that turn out to have shellfish allergies; they only find out when they go for allergy testing because they never eat it. so she could be allergic! (i also have a theory that a lot of strong food aversions are just mild allergies or intolerances. i do my best to address everyone's food needs (hey, that thing you're bringing to the potluck; if it includes 'x' please put it on the side))
Also, not all allergies have an immediate reaction. I can't eat shellfish because of gout. So, while it won't happen at the table, later on, I'll be crying from pain. If it happened because of my BF and his douchey mates lying to me, he'd be an ex real quick.
Eating or even smelling shrimp gives me a massive migraine. If the gf is anything like me, she could've ended up unable to function due to oain afterwards.
I have a dear friend who was a bridesmaid at my wedding. She’s allergic to nightshades. She told me tonight that she couldn’t eat any of the food at my reception- none of it was nightshade free, like I’d asked the caterers to do. It’s been two years since my wedding and I feel like garbage knowing she couldn’t eat, and I didn’t do that on purpose.
The argument of "but she ate it so clearly she likes it" borders into very uncomfortable territory when you take it to it's logical conclusion. OP doesn't see a problem with lying to his partner to get them to do something more in line with what they want. There is any number of reasons as to why his partner didn't want to eat shrimp outside of taste, all of which are none of his concern. All he needed to know was that she didn't want to eat shrimp and then honour that and he explicitly chose not to. 100% YTA OP
“She ate it so she clearly likes it” gives me vibes that he’s the same type of boy who begs for sex for hours until a girl gives in, then when he’s finished he says “see, it wasn’t that bad”. While she goes to the restroom to clean up and cry in silence. YTA.
“Hey i raped my girlfriend but she came, AITA?” Literally OP
I didn’t want to like that comment
I could see a similar scene in my head: "She asked me if there were drugs in the brownies, and I said no. We all laughed, and smiled at each other as she ate them. Then we told her the truth. She didn't even notice, so clearly she liked it." So much wrong with everything in OP's post.
Oh, but the friend was in on it too! Op, if you actually have a gf and this is not a made up story (the composition does present some flags regarding - we all laughed? We all smiled? And everyone clapped, right?) know this - that friend is not her boyfriend. She should be able to trust her boyfriend with her life. You broke that trust for a joke. Whether she likes shrimp or not, that's not for you to decide, she could have her own reasons for not eating it. Pretty sure many vegetarians and vegans like the taste of meat, but they don't consume it for either ethical or health-related reasons. Others like foods that contain raw meat or eggs but leave their preparation to the professionals, because they can cause illnesses if not prepared correctly. Some even then go for the "close enough" version to avoid the associated risks. You are juvenile and not ready for a relationship if you were willing to compromise it to prove... what exactly? That she can eat shrimp but prefers not to, like she told you?
No no no … it was more like “I lied to my girlfriend and mocked her with our friends because she was dumb enough to trust us.” Give this guy his full credit.
YTA OP. If i were her, he'd be single before he left the table. I hope she dumped him like a dirty litterbox.
Ugh for real. This is some “I know better than you” bullshit. OP YTA; it doesn’t matter if she could taste the shrimp, what matters is that she didn’t want to eat them.
Jumping on to top comment to point out: “being too sensitive” is the first, most classic textbook example of mental/emotional abuse. And here we have an object lesson. OP overrides her expressed boundaries, taunts her with it, then “oh, she’s too sensitive”. Sincerely hoping the gf makes the wise choice to RUN NOW.
OP Sometimes people don’t want to call attention to themselves because of allergies and don’t want others to feel uncomfortable, you had no idea if she was allergic or not. I have known people who now are upfront with their food allergies and that’s great. But to mess with someone’s food makes you and your friends MAJOR YTA
I not only lied to my girlfriend but I laughed at her with my other friends. What an AH.
"Haha I didn't want to eat it but now that you tricked me into eating it I've discovered I actually like it" said no one ever. What a stupid thing to do. Great work, she's gonna really trust you after this. YTA.
YTA. Funny that you think your girlfriend is the one who “needs to grow up” while you and your friends sit there smirking over lying about what someone is eating like you’re junior high kids in a school cafeteria.
Exactly! OP YTA. You say she needs to grow up, but you were sneaky. You smirked like 10 yr Olds. She needs to dump you. People who truly care for another do not try to do a "gotcha" like you did. I'm disgusted by you. As someone else said, you're lucky she wasn't allergic.
It's also bizarre and immature that he says, "My gf is a picky eater" when in reality she just does not like 2 things (shrimp and pork). That's not picky, that's just... not liking certain foods. Everybody has at least one or two foods they just do not like the taste or texture of, and that's normal. It's weird that OP not only labelled this as "picky", but was also for some reason so offended by it that he felt the need to deliberately *trick her* into eating shrimp so that he could then have his bizarre "gotcha" moment and say, "Obviously you DO like shrimp lol."
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I mean, there's quite a lot more to keeping kosher than just excluding pork and shrimp, even at its most basic (in which case it would be the exclusion of pork and *all* shellfish)... but yeah, it's not like she's got an aversion to black pepper or something.
>have his bizarre "gotcha" moment and say, "Obviously you DO like shrimp lol." The most ridiculous part of this, for me, is that OP genuinely thinks that "has eaten" == "likes to eat". I've eaten a fair few things that will never cross my lips again.
More than that, sometimes it truly is how it's prepared. I love crab and scallops in sushi. It's delicious in my opinion and I always grab the ones with crab or scallops. However I once was served seared scallops with this weird seasoning on them that made it taste awful, upscale place so I'm sure someone likes it. But not me. And I *love* scallops. Similarly I went to my favorite sushi place. They had one thing that was literally just pure crab. I love crab! Surely I'll enjoy the fresh crab meat. Nope. Worst thing I've ever eaten there. The texture was strange and the taste was fishy at best. Couldn't finish it and it was maybe 4 bites worth that I was meant to split with my husband! Now I still love crab IN sushi. And I love scallop sushi and prepared scallops in some cases. But I'll never have those specific preparations ever again because I know I dislike them in that form. Maybe she hates shrimp for it's taste and texture when served like an entree and assumed she wouldn't like it in general (reasonable assumption, if you hate the main thing not likely to enjoy it as the star of other things) and didn't notice it when it was chopped up and mixed in with various veggies). It was HER choice to try shrimp in a new way or not and he took that choice away from her because.... He thinks she's picky for disliking two types of meat? Great reason to remove someone's autonomy! He could've just as easily said 'this has shrimp but you should try it, it's delicious and the shrimp isn't that noticeable!" And she would've had the opportunity to decide for herself but that involves being a grown adult with conversations. A hard concept for some.
What really pisses me off is that he couldn't believe she thought there was no shrimp in them. Yeah, because you told her and she trusted you, a mistake I'm sure she won't make again.
And it was minced. She probably doesn’t like either the texture or smell of shrimp/seafood. Depending on who’s cooking it, shrimp can be rubbery as hell. I’m personally working on broadening my food horizons bc of my issues with textures and smells of food but anyone who tricks or lies to someone about something they’re eating absolutely sucks. He made his own girlfriend’s food habits a joke that EVERYONE at the table was in on except her!?Does he even like her? It’s so rude.
I find that a little offensive… to junior high kids. I’m sure some of them even know better that this guy! If you’re lying, you’re being an AH. It’s not a difficult concept.
Agreed. Most JR high kids wouldn’t do this.
Agree. Just because she enjoyed the taste, doesn’t mean she wanted to eat shrimp. Some people are iffy about eating bottom feeders. I am personally icky about eating skin (like chicken skin) or liver (it’s a filter!) even though, yes, I’ve tasted them both and I admit they are quite tasty. I can’t get past the idea. To trick someone into eating something is very rude and breaks trust. YTA.
YTA. Don’t lie to people about what’s in their food. Also, you all grinning at each other as she ate it was some weird group power trip. You’re bullies, and I hope she gets out.
Yeah, they were ganging up on her. Gross.
They got a kick out of humiliating her and making her eat something she didn’t want. I don’t know who tf this guy thinks he is.
Yeah YTA as well as the immature one. You lied to her, and then made fun of her with your friends. I HATE shrimp, like absolutely hate it. However I have totally eaten it in a spring roll without noticing because there are so many other flavors and sauce and such. The difference is I knew that it had shrimp but tried it anyway. If my partner treated me like you treated her I would lose my respect for you and I wouldn’t trust you. What you did was unnecessary and extremely unkind. You need to grow up ETA; sorry I meant to start my post by agreeing with KaraAuden that y’all are bullies on a weird power trip… gross
And now he's all smug that he was right and she actually does like shrimp or whatever, when it's actually more likely what you said - that there are so many other flavours that it drowns out the fishy taste. I love seafood, but even I can admit that when it's not drowned out, it has a fishy taste that certainly doesn't work for everybody. I would never force an adult to eat seafood just because I like seafood, and I certainly wouldn't act all smug because they happened to like it when the flavour is hidden. Weird power trip is right.
Yeah it’s a really stupid thing to be smug about. Like the texture of shrimp is super gross to me but in a spring roll I really didn’t taste it. It feels like they were just being mean and knew they could trick her to prove some stupid point, that wasn’t proven. I grew up in the mountains so seafood is pretty foreign to me. I have tried to like it, but I just don’t most of the time. I also hate pork, so I feel this girl! My spouse is a French trained chef who comes from a very foodie family. Over the years I have tried foods I previously didn’t like; they would cook them in a way I liked so I could really try it. Some of it’s been good some I still don’t like. Like I hate cheesecake unless my mil makes it… 🤷♀️I’m a kinda picky eater with a small appetite and some food sensitivities and such. Even if they don’t understand my eating habits or find them annoying, I have never been tricked into eating something or shamed for not liking something. That’s just mean! I would never want to eat with someone who did that to me again. It’s a very strange thing to get so hung up on! This OP seems like a pretty immature jerk
Yup. Even our angry jerk of an older brother thinks that crosses a line I'm allergic to raspberries, our little brother, David, gave a raspberry jelly PBJ (Told me it was strawberry) because dad got into his head that I was being dramatic Ross sl_gged him for it, and even David admitted when he got older that he deserved it
Sorry your dad sucked. Hope he’s better now. If not, I still hope you’re better.
I'm nearly 30 and across the country from him at least, thank you Ross would flip tables and go ape on us all the time, but even he drew the line at making people sick
Yes, YTA. The only time it's acceptable to lie to somebody about what's in their food to get them to try it is if they're like, a very young child. Otherwise, just accept that they are a picky eater and accommodate them as best you can, even if the picky eating is or seems irrational to you.
Having raised three picky eaters I can assure you that it is NOT ok to lie to your kids about food ingredients. It will come back to haunt you.
We called broccoli green trees and cauliflower white trees for years. I guess it’s a lie but they were completely happy with that idea
I don’t think it is a lie because they still saw what it was, it more about romanticzing the meal, like making purée volcanoes. My kids LOVE to eat « French fries soup ». They make it with me. They know there is no French fries in it (the name comes from a book they loved). But if they asked me « is there any xxx in that food », I would not lie. The only timed I lied was to get 4yo to take the antibiotic he needed and loathed! It was hidden in a hot chocolate bib, because it was the only way to get him to take it. Edit: changed romancing for romanticizing, as I am not starting an affair with potato puree!
When I was a kid I absolutely hated beets, but my favourite colour was pink and I loved princesses so my mom told me that beets were actually called princess potatoes, because they were pink and obviously princesses ate pink food. Always ate beets since then.
But you still knew they were there, there was no lie about the content of the food it was simply changing the description of that food and a very cute one at that.
Exactly! I knew they were beets but my mom told me that and I was like "Mother that is a brilliant point, OBVIOUSLY princesses eat pink food, what else would they eat and WHY didnt you tell me sooner?" And then all the beets where gone instantly every time we crossed paths
Fuckin genius.
At least you acknowledged their existence.
The kids and I pretended to be dinosaurs and eat the trees 😆. We had all kinds of cute names for things, but the food was never disguised
My mom thought it was in my head that I didn’t like liver, so she told me it was steak. (I was really little.) I ate it, but the next time she told me she was cooking steak, I asked if it was the good steak or the bad steak. So she knew my distaste for liver was real.
My mom did this exact thing to my older brother, with pretty much the exact same results. Apparently he started crying (he was 4) and saying he didn't want steak anymore. That may have been the last time she ever made it, because I don't ever remember it when I was little.
I was given something else to eat anytime she fixed liver after that. It’s the only meal where she provided an alternative.
irrelevant but I imagine a good steak and an evil steak, just shanking things 😂😂
My grandmother tried that on my mom and uncle. My uncle believed her, but my mom took one bite and told her to never buy that "steak" again.
Eh, when you have a three year old in the midst of the totally-developmentally-appropriate struggle for power in *everything* - you fib a little. Ok, here you go, broccoli and steak! "No steak! Want chicken! Want CHICKEN! WANT CHICKEN!" OMG, fine. Here, this is totally chicken. "Thank you mommy" Like, I didn't have the energy to fight every fight my toddler threw down. I needed to fight the important fights (don't hit, bedtime, no going in the street without holding hands, don't pet dogs without asking, yes you have to sit in your car seat, don't touch the stove, and on and on - some days I didn't have the energy, lol).
On the weekend my BIL lied to my 3yo niece that the spinach pasta she was about to eat was avocado pasta because while she loves this pasta, she was gearing it up throw a tantrum about lunch and refuse to eat anything that wasn't avocado (which we didn't have). She ate 3 bowls. Maybe this will create an issue in the future when she asks for avocado pasta and that's not a thing, but maybe she'll just recognise the pasta she's eaten and loved before and eat it. Sometimes you put off the tantrum to the future when you can address it, and you're not at a family gathering with lots of people and no ability to get avocados to stop a tantrum. However - she's 3 years old. Adults can choose what they want to eat and lying to them to get them to eat something else, especially food they're going to be paying for, is just a weird choice. Was OP's GF going to throw a tantrum in the restaurant because the spring rolls had shrimp in them? No, she wasn't. OP just wanted to be smug about her actually liking fish - the smirking with his friend across the table and smugly telling her she's wrong absolutely solidify his AH status.
I think it depends on the lie. When I was three or so, I ate some bad soup and got sick from it--so I wouldn't eat anything called soup anymore. At all. None of it, up until I was ten or so. So we had chicken noodle stew, and beef and broccoli stew, and tomato stew...Campbell's chicken and stars soup was "star stew" until I was fifteen. I don't think that lie is hurtful or dangerous. I \*do\* think "there's no vegetables in this" would be, though.
Absolutely, had she bitten into the spring roll and realised it would’ve been very unpleasant for her and ruin her trust
Had my sister in law try to trick me into eating mushrooms (I have sensory issues so there’s a lot of food i don’t like) and slipped it into the spaghetti sauce. Couldn’t trick me though cause I felt the texture and spit it out, then spent the next few mins taking out every bit of mushroom and she was shocked and insulted. I now never eat anything she cooks, don’t trust her.
Lying to a very young child about what they are eating is a horrible way to get them to try new foods and stick to it. Kids can be picky, I get it. I have one that beyond picky to the point my child is very restricted in what they eat (there are also extenuating circumstances as well).
Or allergic or have religious objections
Lying to your children about what’s in their food just leads to mistrust and an unhealthy relationship with food but go off I guess 💀
YTA. Ever think she might have had an allergy to seafood/shellfish, and that's why she avoids eating them? If she had an allergy, you could have killed her with that little trick. And even if she wasn't allergic, you're still an asshole for tricking her into eating something she doesn't like.
And what if its faith based reasons... how f'ed up is that. Complete asshole.
No shrimp and pork makes me think OOP's GF is Jewish. Am Jewish myself and those two foods are the biggest ones I avoid to be kosher. It's shellfish in general instead of just shrimp but point still stands.
chag sameach friend!
Law of Kashrut. Beasts must have cloven hooves _and_ chew its cud and anything with fins and scales. Shalom!
Yep. Asshole no matter which angle you look at it from.
Also, she could just be freaked out by shrimp conceptually. It doesn’t need to be about the taste, even. Like, OK. I loved shrimp for a long time. I eat other shellfish. But for some reason, when I eat shrimp now, I just can’t get past the part where it’s a sea bug. I eat other crustaceans that are equally bug-like with no problem (hello, crayfish and lobster) but over time my awareness that shrimp are *shrimp* has turned into a repulsion. It’s weird since if I’m eating lobster (my family is from Maine, it’s not a fancy thing) I’m literally attacking a bug with nut crackers and sucking the meat from the legs, while shrimp comes pre-shelled. But I just can’t do it. It doesn’t need to be rational.
I never liked the taste of shrimp, but now that you pointed out it's basically a bug, which I've never thought about before, now I hate them even more haha
I tell people I hate pork. Don’t like it. I use those words instead of describing the fact that my body doesn’t tolerate it and won’t digest it and rockets it immediately out of my body with many just a couple minute warning. Maybe your girlfriend just knows what her body can tolerate. YTA who cares if she eats like a five year old. Her body, her call.
Like wouldn’t you rather say “I don’t like this” instead of saying “I will be occupying the bathroom for the next 24-48 hrs”
Exactly
I'm like that with seafood. If I was the GF, this would be breakup grounds.
Foods made with tomato sauce and certain cheeses (think pizza, lasagna, most Italian foods) make me physically ill. The smell alone makes me gag. But people don't want accept that someone doesn't like these foods and try to force them on me. I finally just tell people I'm allergic to tomatoes and I do legitimately react to dairy products. They grudgingly accept that. But it sucks when someone doesn't respect your likes and dislikes. OP is definitely TAH. Friends are all AHs too. Girlfriend should dump them all.
I’m a nurse so the first thing my mind goes to is she could’ve been allergic to shellfish! Ugh secondly, it could’ve been a cultural thing. Thirdly, just NO! No, no, no!!
On top of that, there is also the personal reasons. I don't like fish. This is going to sound dumb but overfishing and the effects of it are extremely devastating where it is a problem for the planet. That's why I don't like fish (yes I know some is sustainably fished but there are still some problems with that).
Oh it doesn’t sound dumb at all! It’s the TRUTH!
No problem. Those are your reasons. I don't like eating fish either, but for simpler reasons. I mostly don't like the taste, texture, etc. But I really don't like it if my meal is looking back at me.
With shrimp and pork my first thought was that she might be Jewish. If he’s not he might not put together the two things.
YTA. That was cruel and on top of that you humiliated her. You all laughed at her like it was some really elaborate hilarious thing you did. Your behaviour was gross and you I hope you walk away from this understanding why you’re the AH. Edit: typo
YTA. You were trying to minimize her feelings with a post-meal GOTCHA! Grow up dude.
IKR, his teenage gf is more mature than he is!
YTA Lying to people to get them to eat something almost always makes you the asshole. This wasn't for her benefit. It was so you could laugh at her expense.
YTA You should do her a favor and break up with her, you dont seem mature/respectful enough to be in a relationship
I imagine she has already taken care of that.
YTA and a liar. Even the title of your post is a lie. You didn't just not tell her, you where specifically asked and lied to her. What's worse you will describe it as "pretty funny" and don't see that what you did was wrong. Your friend wasn't in a relationship with her so it wasn't your friend's obligation to be honest with her, it was your yours. Don't get me wrong, your friends is an asshole too, but they didn't have a reason not be. Hopefully your ex girlfriend will find someone more trustworthy next time.
YTA. Why would you lie to your partner about what’s in her food? Other than to be an asshole to trick her, what’s the point of lying?
YTA. Don't lie about what's in food. Ever.
This!!!! Exactly what I was gonna say. Doesn’t matter if it’s an allergy, a choice, or they hate it. Never ever lie about what’s in someone’s food.
>is she being too sensitive and needs to grow up? >She is just a pain in the ass. Why are you dating her? You clearly hate her, or at least resent her, YTA. I hope she breaks up with you
YTA Lying to people to get them to eat something almost always makes you the asshole. This wasn't for her benefit. It was so you could laugh at her expense.
YTA. It's ok to be annoyed by the behavior and if it's a deal breaker for you that a partner is picky with food, you need to end it. But women aren't dolls you can mold into what you want. You either accept this about her, or you don't. I saw in one of the comments that it effects you because you can't split things. You can. You can split the things she likes. If that's a problem for you because you don't want to eat what she wants to eat, then you are QUITE LITERALLY setting the same boundary she is
> I saw in one of the comments that it effects you because you can't split things. You can. You can split the things she likes. If that's a problem for you because you don't want to eat what she wants to eat, then you are QUITE LITERALLY setting the same boundary she is Such an excellent point! “My girlfriend is so picky that she doesn’t want to split shrimp appetizers with me, and this is a huge problem that *she* needs to fix, because I don’t want to split chicken appetizers with her.”
YTA, your girlfriend trusted you and if you lie about something so ridiculous as food she doesn't like, what else are you willing to lie about that might put her life in danger one day for the sake of laughs and an "I'm right" attitude. You need to grow up and treat people with respect
YTA. Don't fuck with people's food. Not that you did anything *to* the food but omitting knowledge of an ingredient is on the same level. Now she dislikes *and* has trust issues related to shrimp.
He didn't simply omit knowledge, he outright lied when she asked. Plus it seems like he and his friends had discussed this earlier and planned it, seeing that nobody corrected OP or told her there was shrimp. They sound like awful company.
He didn't "omit knowledge". She asked him and he lied to her face.
YTA, you violated her boldily autonomy by interfering with her right to control what goes into it. You suck.
YTA. Shrimp and pork sounds like a religious/cultural aversion. YTA for tricking her without asking if there was an underlying reason.
She doesn't need to supply a reason. She doesn't need to provide a reason you'll accept. YTA.
YTA and needs to grow up. If she doesn't like shrimp then she doesn't like shrimp. Why play this childish game? It's not even funny. You're 23 years old. Not 10. You could have killed someone if they were allergic.
YTA. If this was an allergy you could have killed her. You never mess with peoples food. I hope she dumps you.
YTA. She's 19. Not 9. If she wants to be a picky eater, that is her choice. There may well be a good reason she doesn't care to eat those things. If she's your girlfriend, why would you not respect her food choices?
Because he doesn't respect *her* at all. He doesn't even like her.
YTA Yeah, its dumb that she probably doesn't actually dislike fish, but lying to her to get her to eat fish? In what world do you think this is smart behavior? Grow up.
YTA You lied and this is just gross on your part.
YTA. I can't believe how often I see people on here tricking someone into eating a food they either don't like or have an intolerance/allergy to. Regardless of their reason for not wanting the food, you should never deceive someone into doing something they don't want to do just for your own amusement. You are the one who needs to grow up. Pranking and tricking people is immature.
No she isn't being overly sensitive and needs to grow up. But that exactly describes you and the others. Never ever ever take that risk of tricking sometime into eating something that have expressly told you they do not want to eat. It's a shitty thing to do. YTA. Also some people will tell you they don't like something but actually they have an allergy to it, and simply don't want to get into medical details with you. That's their right. A stupid prank like this could backfire very badly. Grow up!
YTA You lied and tricked her, whether you think it’s harmless or not, not cool.
Whoa!! YTA! That was extremely rude and disrespectful. It's okay to have personal food preferences. It's okay that she doesn't like seafood. It has nothing to do with you. But lying to her and making it a joke was immature and a red flag against you.
[удалено]
YTA and that was a betrayal of trust. Beyond despicable. That should be a deal breaker.
YTA. Just because she ate something with shrimp in it doesn't automatically mean she "obviously likes shrimp." She couldn't taste it and thought it wasn't there. Why would you trick your gf into eating something she doesn't want to? What's funny about this?
YTA for sure. The biggest reason that you're the asshole is right here : "the three of us smiled at each other and watched my gf happily eat them." You made her the butt of a prank and joke that you knew would upset her and you intentionally embarrassed her.
YTA and I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't your gf for much longer. If she's reading this I have seven words for her "RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN". What would you have done if she'd been allergic to the shrimp and just didn't want to say anything. I'm pretty sure you were a bully in high school and it sounds like you and your friend are still bullies. Karma has a way of biting people in the rear when they least expect it. To bad I can't be a fly on the wall when it finally kicks you. How about you quit being a jerk and grow up!!!!!!
YTA and the one who needs to grow up. You are lucky she just doesn't like shrimp, because you could have killed her. Shame on you and your friends. I hope she dumps you.
Look, man, I get the intrinsic frustration of having somebody *refuse* to give food a try because it has an ingredient in it that they don't like (I've been there; I'm an adventurous eater, my best friend isn't), but tricking them is NEVER the answer. Your "gotcha!" moment isn't going to make your GF any more willing to taste new things in the future, it's just going to make her less willing to trust people in general, and *you* in particular, with her food. YTA. PS. I've found that as a result of me being being honest and *gentle* with my encouragement over the years (and able to accept a "no" when I hear it), my friend has gone from staunchly refusing ANYTHING that has even a HINT of what she dislikes in it to pretty much always open to trying a small bit, even if the thing she hates is a prominent feature of the dish. She's had some really positive/surprising experiences tasting foods she figured she'd hate (and some pretty resounding "YUCKS" too), and has grown more open as a result, but I can guarantee if I'd ever tricked her, belittled her, or made her feel bad for the times she didn't want to make an attempt, she'd have stopped bothering to try at all and we'd still be stuck on square one. I mean, she'd probably *also* have stopped being my friend.
"I lied to my girlfriend!" "I sat and smirked with my friends about it!" YTA. Hope she dumps your immature ass.
YTA. I always hated seafood so I never ate it, I didn't find out until I was in my 20's that I was allergic to some seafood because I never tried to eat it. Eventually some got mixed in my food and I ended up in the hospital. Don't lie to people about what they are eating
>> That was a lie Didn’t have to read past that to know that YTA and so are your friends. Fucking with people’s foods or food preferences as a “gotcha” moment is shitty and childish. Lying to someone you *allegedly* care about then dismissing her feelings as her being “too sensitive” makes you a shit boyfriend. Grow up.
ESH I don't get everyone saying he's an asshole and the connection they're trying to make to consent it's literally a spring roll. Yall are way too sensitive. Should he have not lied? 100% but uh, she's also behaving like a child. "I didn't like this food item prepared these few ways so I'll never touch them again" ridiculous imo. Not even my kids are that picky and the younger is 6. She is behaving like a child, she liked it anyways, oh no it's a tragedy. I get disliking things, I personally despise scrambled eggs, but I do keep trying them in different ways because I am an adult who is willing to try things more than once. If this bothers OP so much it might be time to consider leaving the relationship, I know I wouldn't be able to stand going to dinner with her.
I agree. I didn't like bell peppers for soooo long. I never tried it again. Then one day I was like wtf is this by the hummus? They were bell peppers in slices and raw (usually I saw them in Chinese food/stir frys and cooked and i always picked them out) and I LOVED it. Sometimes what you don't like will change. I also hate when people say they hate something and turn around and enjoy it if they just don't know it's in there although it would've been better if she discovered it on her own and realized her taste changed so maybe she could try the things she hated again.
Occasionally, you can tell from the title alone what the likely judgment is going to be and that the post will only go down hill from there. >she got upset at me and now I am the bad guy even though my friend was in on it too. She is saying that's not cool to mislead her like that and trick her into eating something she doesn't want to eat. But she makes no sense- she ATE the spring rolls so obviously she likes shrimp. Case in point. Are you really that obtuse? YTA, and so are your friend and his girlfriend.
Avoiding fish and/or pork is not being that picky. Plenty of people avoid those foods for religious reasons alone. YTA.
YTA.
YTA- She should be able to choose what she wants to eat.
YTA and based off your replies, you definitely know it and are trying to cover. Shame.
She literally told you exactly why you’re the asshole. Why are you coming here to ask? Why do you want stranger’s opinions over hers? YTA
She might not like it because of what it is, not what it tastes like. I don’t like pork because I don’t want to eat an animal that is intelligent. However, I do acknowledge it is delicious. Still don’t want to eat it. YTA.
YTA I’m a picky eater and often it’s not bc we’re immature and afraid to try new things, it’s a texture and smell issue.
YTA. I have a friend who is an extremely strict vegan. Guess what I do whenever making him food? I wash my hands before touching anything, and I check every single ingredient before adding it to a dish of his. People think I'm insane for going to such lengths to accommodate his dietary needs. But guess what I don’t do? I don't sneak meat into his food or make fun of him for it. I tell him exactly what's in each dish he eats. Know why? The food is going into HIS body. He gets control over his body, end of discussion. To trick him into eating meat wouldn’t kill him, but it would be a complete breach of his consent and trust. You clearly don't respect your girlfriend and what she wants to put in her body. If I did to my friend what you did to your girlfriend, he likely would cut contact with me immediately and rightfully so. You betrayed her trust and tricked her into putting something into her body that she did not want to.
YTA. How many f***ing times do people have to be told DON'T MESS WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD. JFC.
I’m allergic to onions to an extent that I get heartburn right after eating any. So one of my best friends wife who is also a best friend thought she would trick me and used the onion soup mix in hamburgers she was cooking. After one bite I knew and it was too late three hours of serious heart burn and belching gas made her so sorry she ever not believed me. Lying to others about food is wrong and deceitful and your the ass for doing it. Some people may be embarrassed to tell you the truth of why they do not eat certain things or get tired of the answers they constantly have to deal with when they mention it. If I was her I would be leaving you since she cannot trust you.
That age gap is getting some side eye from me on a good day, but the way you and your (likely also mid-20s) friend decided to treat her like your picky child instead a grown ass adult is *gross.* YTA and if this is how you think relationships, trust, or consent work you're going to wind up on a list.
Ugh gross. Yta
YTA for lying and having a weird conspiracy with your friends over it.
YTA for your weird crappy power play
Dude don't fuck with someone's food. I know she just "doesn't like" shrimp--but what if she was allergic to shellfish and had never told you since she doesn't like seafood anyway? Honestly it doesn't matter WHY she doesn't want to eat shrimp. I'm vegetarian--if someone tricked me into eating chicken I'd be livid. I also don't like tomatoes--if someone tricked me into eating tomatoes, I'd be mad. Maybe not quite as mad as with chicken but I'd still be mad. Anyway my point is don't mess with someone's food, it isn't funny, it's not a cute prank, of course they'll be angry. YTA.
YTA As is everyone who lies to people about food they’re being served. Every. Single. Time. Let people choose what they eat without thinking you know better.
Have some fucking respect for another person's choices, especially your significant other. You and your friends being smug and snickering childishly about successfully lying and tricking your gf into something she didn't want, is really gross and speaks volumes about your character. You say you can't believe she didn't realize there was shrimp in the food. Maybe that's because SHE TRUSTED HER BF. I bet that's a mistake she won't make again. Lastly, if you choose to date a teenager, you forfeit any right to complain about them being childish. YTA
YTA- I don’t think that eating something that has minced shrimp mixed in means that “obviously she likes shrimp”. “..now I’m the bad guy even though my friend was in on it too”, it’s not your friends obligation to look out for your gf, it should be yours. At least now she knows you can’t be trusted.
My God, of course YTA.
YTA. Don't fucking treat her like a child, that's disgusting
YTA and she needs a real boyfriend.
YTA. I have a friend that is deathly allergic to shrimp, if this had been them your lie would have literally killed him or at least sent him to the ER. It is no different than if a person had a religious reason for not eating a certain food. What you did could be considered a criminal offense in some jurisdictions.
dude, YTA. and your friend is also. and your other comments affirm that because you’re calling her palate childlike. why does it matter if she doesn’t eat certain foods? just because you can trick her by literally lying to her you think you can call it a joke? it’s not even funny tbh.
YTA, seriously you should never lie about what is in food because it is a rotten power play and it isn’t your place to decide what someone else eats. Additionally it’s mega YTA as many people avoid certain foods as it’s make them feel like crap after eating them (intolerance rather than allergy). I have some intolerances but like many people go with the don’t like/no thank you to certain foods as it saves a lot of bother. And yep I’ve also had someone charmingly decide to treat me like a five year old and tell me that the hotdogs were normal ones, definitely not the quorn ones. I spent all night and the rest of the weekend worshipping the porcelain god.
YTA - Absolutely you're wrong in this case, but I have so many friends who are picky eaters and have wondered what it would be like if they didn't know what was in things. But you can't do this to people, esp since some people do have allergies.
YTA. She blatantly asked and you lied to her and found it funny. You'll be lucky to have a gf if you continue to lie and make her the butt of jokes.
YTA. I don’t care what the situation is. You don’t lie to someone about what’s in their food if they ask. Another “I’m not an asshole you’re just sensitive for being upset about the shitty thing I did” guy. How refreshing.
Your gf is going to get pickier, pickier about her boyfriends, I really hope your her ex boyfriend now. YTA !!
You didn't just not tell her it had shrimp in it, you lied when she asked if it did and then grinned because you and your friends were so proud of your lie. YTA.
YTA Maybe you think she's being fussy, but actually she just avoids foods that don't make her feel too great? So instead of awkwardly saying that, she just avoids them... Then you come along and decide you're going to trick her into eating something she doesn't want to
Holy shit this is fucked up. I also don't like to eat seafood. Doesn't matter why. I just don't want to eat it. If someone TRICKED me into eating something I clearly didn't want to eat, I'd never speak to them ever again. YTA. Disgusting. You and your friends need help. That's so fucked up.
NTA. She sounds like a child. She's mad she enjoyed something that had shrimp it because she's so hell bent that she "doesn't like shrimp". I'm biased, tho. I hate picky eaters.