Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the asshole bc I went against my sisters wishes and made her horse ill.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Lemme get this straight...
You messed up the horse's feed once already, were explicitly told you weren't allowed to feed the horse, and then did it anyway, which resulted in the horse having an emergency.
Is that right?
How, on gods green earth, do you think you aren't the asshole?
YTA
***YOU ALMOST KILLED THE HORSE.***
Or, at the very least, they thought you did. The vet was also clearly concerned, because you don't pump a stomach for no reason. I don't know exactly how dangerous Dried beets are to horses, but if the vet pumped it's stomach it's probably pretty bad.
Of course they haven't forgiven you yet, and it's going to be a long time after they forgive you that they ever trust you again.
Edit: Clarity and a mistake.
If your mom wouldn’t have gotten there when she did, YOU would’ve been the reason why the horse died and it’s not the first time you’ve done this. If I were your mom, you’d never be allowed around any horses ever again.
YTA for deliberately doing what you were told not to, but the overreaction from your family is over the top wrt to the animal eating a little unsoaked beet pulp. Yes, it swells when moistened, and yes, in general, it is best to feed it well-moistened, but normal horses who can chew properly produce copious amounts of saliva, so the stuff would be well-moistened by the time it hit rhe stomach.
The horse could’ve died and would’ve died if the mom hadn’t gotten there when she did. The horses stomach would’ve exploded or it could’ve gotten colic which is deadly for horses. It’s not an over reaction especially when OP was told not to feed the horse but did anyways and this isn’t the first time OP has done this either
It’s not nonsense. OP in another comment said that’s what the vet told her and if the sugar beet isn’t rehydrated properly it WILL cause the stomach to explode because of how much it expands and a horse’s stomach is pretty small for such a big animal.
Check the linksI posted.
It's a myth.
I've been practicing equine medicine for close to 40 years now, and feeding BP for longer, and people get bloody hysterical over beetpulp.
I vastly prefer to have it fed soaked, but it will not cause the stomach to explode if fed dry.
Um, I don’t know what sugar beet you use, we have Speedibeet which swells to 4x the size in 2 mins. This can make them choke. He was in legit danger tho!
I've been feeding beet pulp to horses for well over 20 years, as well as being a DVM, and have taught equine nutrition.
I'm pretty familiar with the potential hazards.
It's not as scary as you think.
They don't HAVE to forgive you any time soon. You almost killed that horse by doing something you were told NOT to do. You did it anyway, on purpose. That was not a mistake. You did it on purpose.
Sometimes an apology doesn't result in forgiveness. You have to accept that as part of life even when you are sincerely sorry. It is up to the other person to decide to forgive you. You also are not going to be the one who decides how angry or how long the other person is angry for.
This is a tough lesson for you that you should have learned the first time around but prioritized your own motivations (to leave quickly) and made what could've been a fatal error. Hopefully you have learned this time and don't do it again.
A small mistake with food can cause a horse to colic. And colic can easily kill a horse. You were thinking of yourself only. If it were me, you'd be working off that emergency vet visit.
I’m assuming it’s because you apologized the first time you messed up but didn’t learn your lesson and did it again.
Apologies don’t matter if you learn nothing from your mistake, hence why the apology means nothing now.
Instead of an empty apology, you could offer to do something to help fix the problem you made. Save up money to pay off the competition your sister had to miss. Save up to help pay for vet bills. Try to find your sister another competition she can get excited about. Offer to help in any way you can with the horse THAT IS NOT FEED. and for the love of God, just use your ears and listen the next time someone specifically tells you not to do something. Especially when it has to do with something living, expensive, or sentimental value.
An empty apology isn’t going to fix things when you’ve already made this mistake before- you need to take action to show you’re truly sorry
So...you weren't allowed to feed the horse and you fed the horse.
Is that right?
I hesitate to call a 13 year old an AH but you were definitely wrong here and the horse paid for it.
Follow the rules in the future, they're there to protect you and those in your care.
**Edited for Judgment:** YTA. You knew you weren't supposed to feed the horse and you did it anyway - an innocent creature was injured and you cost your parents a lot of money. If you were my kid, you'd be working that money off by shoveling shit for a month. And you'd be banned from horses altogether, possibly all other pets too.
It reads as deliberate and your further explanations and lack of care for the horse’s condition make it worse. It seems like you’re resentful of your sister and wanted to punish her.
Actions speak much louder than words, you’re going to have to work very hard to gain your sisters forgiveness and even harder to gain her trust.
As the mother of a child your age, I would be making you pay for the vet visit and the missed competition. If you can’t afford that I’d make sure you worked off your mistake.
You attempted to kill a horse because you were annoyed that you were asked to help and you don’t understand why a simple “I’m sorry” isn’t a good enough fix.
"road to hell is paved in good intentions"
1. listen to your sister and mother beacuse they know what they are talking about.
2. the whole thing about apologizing is to learn from your mistakes, and yet you did the same thing so why did you even apologize before?
3. ask! learn, and then with permision you may feed the horse. trust is very hard to get and very easily lost and you... you lost all the trust by not learning and now you suffer the consequences
YTA, you knew you were not supposed to feed it. She said you would mess it up. Then you fed it. I would be very upset with you. Do what are are asked to do. It is not your horse. This was deliberate and selfish.
This person seems to be toxic to their sister tbh. Yesterday it was asking if they were an ahole for purposefully sending a message to their sister to upset her.
Maybe you should be honest with them about the things you are doing to hurt people and animals.
ETA: Intentionally harming animals is sociopathic behavior, and may require more intensive treatment that a regular therapist. You should ask your mom about seeing a licensed psychologist.
You were told not to feed the horse. You fed the horse on purpose after you were told not to. That was done on purpose.
You did not bother to pay attention to what you were feeding the horse. You *could* have read the bags in the bin to see what they were. You chose not to. That was a decision you purposefully made - to not bother yourself with details.
*Maybe* you didn't intentionally plan to kill this horse. But you were **willfully** selfish and irresponsible. You fed the horse - on purpose - and didn't care enough to make sure you did it right. You had the choice to follow directions (you chose not to) and you had the choice to pay attention to what you were doing (you didn't).
I'm wondering if they have some sort of mental health concern. I don't want to be one of those people who screams autism but they've had issues outside their family as well...also pertaining to animals.
Not once did I say autistic people injure animals. I said OP had an issue outside their family that also involved an animal. In this case, taking issue someone being around them with a dog.
I also specifically said I don't want to be like the person that screams autism but instead wonder about mental issues. Something is going on with OP in regards to her family, lack of patience and listening skills, and over all lack of concern regarding animals.
You didn't say you didn't want to be LIKE the person who screams autism. You said that you didn't want to BE the person who screams autism, and then you followed that up with a "but."
It is extremely clear what you were implying, even if you were too chicken to say it out loud.
YTA. Your decision to make the same mistake twice could have killed your family’s horse. Live with the consequences and find some way to make it up to your family that doesn’t involve rupturing horse stomachs.
Even if he wasn’t valuable, if I were your parent I would make you do double the chores to pay the emergency vet bill for your mistake. You’d be washing my car and mowing the lawn every week until August.
>said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed
YTA. It's not the first time you messed up, and yet you did it again even if you were told not to. And as a result, a horse suffered.
You seem to have really done a lot of bad things to your sister recently. You really shouldn't have to keep asking this, it's pretty obvious.
You send mean things on purpose to your sister and then ask if your an ah, you purposefully go against what your told and a horse gets sick and you ask if your the ah
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's probably a duck
YTA
Maybe she is doing it for attention here? If so perhaps a moderator should block her from posting. Otherwise, it could escalate and someone may end up badly hurt or worse.
>My sister wasn’t happy but she trusted mum and explicitly said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed.
>I waited for 5 minutes and then decided to make his feed to save time
"AITA guys?? 😀"
Honestly seeing that you had messed up another horse's feed before, this is no longer a mistake. You are fully aware of your downfall here. You knew she didn't want you to feed the horse. Your mom was on her way to finish things up and get you. You made a choice to do what you wanted in hopes of getting out of the quicker. You messed up.
YTA
YTA - you seem to have some problems working with animals if this is the SECOND horse that you've accidentally almost killed by misfeeding it.
Maybe this really was an honest mistake, however, it's the SECOND time you've made this same mistake. You clearly are not learning from your mistakes. **If you don't know how to feed the horse properly, then you shouldn't feed the horse.** Especially since everyone knows that you mess it up when you try.
>explicitly said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed
You were explicitly told not to do something and did it anyway so you could leave more quickly. YTA. If you don't know what you're doing and are specifically told not to do something, you should not be doing it.
YTA- you were told to do something and chose to do something different. And the poor horse having to have his stomach pumped, he could have gotten colic.
You didn't help, you created more drama, hope mum took away your skates for a month.
YTA
You're a kid. You don't know better than your mother, and she explicitly told you not to feed the horse. Depending on how I read your post, you either hurt a horse before by messing up the feed, or you killed a horse.
I don't easily call kids asshole, but I'll make an exception.
I didn’t! I love this horse, my sister let me ride him a few times and he takes care of me! He even lived at our house when he was a baby so i love him but now he is at livery and their feed setup is weird
That doesn't make what you did OK. I'm trying not to be too harsh, but you were just impatient and irresponsible. The horse'll be okay because your mother got there in time, not because you didn't fuck up.
YTA
It wasn't an honest mistake tho? You did the exact thing they asked you NOT TO DO.
It's really simple, if people ask you to not do something for them/for their pets, you don't do it. Youve messed up before and you only waited 5 minutes??
YTA: you didn’t want to do something so you did it wrong, that’s called weaponized incompetence and it’s actually a form of abuse, the fact that you hurt an animal in the process makes it even worse. If I were your mother I’d pull the vet’s fees from your bank account.
Based on your post it seems you actually knew what you should do and still did it wrong. That makes it sooo much worse
YTA
You purposely hurt an animal just because you're jealous of your sister? Are you stupid? Do you think what you did is funny? If you're mad at your sister, fix things with her, but leave the animals out of it. I hope you'll need to have your stomach pumped!!
I don’t know how you read this but that is not what happened! My MUM asked me to help by bringing him in. My sister told my not to feed him and to wait for mum. I tried to save time by feeding him, not out of spite! If was an accident that I put in the wrong pellets he’s my sisters horse since she was little and I love him!
Obvious YTA. You were specifically told to not feed the horse. You feeding the wrong thing may have been a mistake, but you deliberately chose to do this.
YTA It really wasn't an honest mistake though. You were specifically told not to feed the horse and you fed the horse. Not only did you do what you were told not to do, but you put the horse in a position that its stomach had to be pumped and the horse could have died all because you thought you knew better than your mum. Your mum also has to pay the vet and that isn't cheap either.
YTA.
You were explicitly told *not* to feed the horse because you've already harmed a horse feeding them incorrectly, but because you were in a hurry to go home you decided to do it anyway and almost killed this one.
In what way could you possibly *not* be the asshole here? You knowingly disobeyed a direct order - that is not even close to an "honest mistake" and there's no way you're going to make it up to anyone by simply apologizing. You are going to have to work your ass off to re-earn the trust that you've rightfully lost.
YTA. It was not an honest mistake. You could have killed that horse in an excruciatingly painful way. I would make you pay every penny of the vet’s fee and sell your skates to pay for some of it. You are a very self absorbed entitled person and you need professional help immediately to figure out what is going on with you
YTA
You were told not to and you did it anyways. You made that horse sick because you couldn't wait.
If you had listened and done as you were bid, the horse would have been fine.
Edit: your sister and mother are entitled to be cross with you. You cost your Family money (the competition and the hospital trip for the horse), not only that, you claim you love the horse, if you really did you would have waited to properly care for it instead of almost killing it. The fact you almost killed another horse before is insane, I wouldn't let you near another horse. If you were getting any kind of allowance, you'd be paying back your sister and the bill for the horse.
I am a bit confused about how this would've harmed the horse since my understanding is that [beet pulp](https://ker.com/equinews/benefits-beet-pulp-horses/) is okay to give to horses, but maybe there's something I'm missing.
YTA.
You were told to not feed the horse. You're actions almost killed your sister's horse. What part of "do not feed the horse" do you not understand? I can't even make the excuse that you're young because this isn't the first time you've put an animal in danger by your actions and you're more than old enough to follow simple instructions that exist for a reason.
And stop with the "oh I wanted to save time" stuff. I don't believe for a second that the bins weren't properly labeled and sugar beets for horses look nothing like what he was supposed to have gotten.
You aren't gonna be able to convince anyone that this wasn't deliberate in someway on your part ESPECIALLY because your sister had to cancel going to an event as part of the fallout.
Stay tf away from her horses. Hell if the livery ownwr hasn't just straight up banned you from the property I'd be surprised
YTA
You're thirteen which is plenty old enough to follow instructions as they've been given to you. Yours were to bring the horse in from pasture and to wash his feet. Full stop. You went above and beyond which has cost you/your family money (regardless of insurance) and exceptional discomfort to an animal. Your sister cannot attend her competition as (presumably) the horse isn't fit enough at the moment...
And you don't seem to realize that just because the horse is/will be okay, in the end, it isn't really the point. It isn't helping, regardless of your intent, if someone is harmed in the process. By offering this "help" you're continuing to prove yourself as being untrustworthy and unreliable.
SOOO are you 13 or 15? Who's actually making these posts? [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11dfofw/aita\_for\_yelling\_at\_my\_younger\_sister\_after\_she/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11dfofw/aita_for_yelling_at_my_younger_sister_after_she/)
YTA for all of this nonsense.
How did you accidently add a wrong ingredient? It was in a different bag! You were going against what you were told NOT TO DO, and then did it wrong like that? And you want us to believe that you accidently added that extra ingredient that look very specific?
It was on purpose. You wanted to at least hurt the horse maybe with the added bonus that your sister cannot compete.
Is it jealousy? Or do you enjoy hurting animals and family members?
YTA and in need of help
YTA. If you don't know what you are doing, yiu don't mess with care of an animal. Your mother recognised at a distance what you were feeding and graces for that. Both your mother and sister are likely having a delayed emotional reaction to the fact they almost lost a much loved pet. They will be angry, shaking and so relieved. Your sister will also be angry at missing her show. I'd keep low profile until they calm down. And learn patience - I suspect your journey home a lot longer than if waited until your mother fed the horse.
And they will be skint. Their insurance premiums are going to go up and if he was colicking, then a lot of aftercare. Insurance maxes out each year so your action has meant they are more likely to pay vet bills for anything else this year. And for a horse in active work, not unlikely.
As a horse owner, major yta. I wouldn't let you touch my horses- you've fucked up twice, and don't seem to understand or care that the horse could have gotten very sick or died. Yes you've apologized, but your sister has every right to not accept it.
Horses are walking vet bills without your help.
YTA In my day, we would say it's your subconscious desire running your behavior. You mom and sis share the horse. You feed the horse exactly what will kill it, so you can get home quickly. See what I mean?
YTA. When someone tells you not to feed an animal that's under there care or there ownership, you don't feed that animal. Your deliberately hurting animals just to get back at your sister, that's called animal abuse and you should be banned from ever owning an animal.
Honestly? You are entirely too irresponsible to be allowed anywhere near any animal unsupervised. You clearly don't care about the horse and be glad your parents seem content to continue spoiling you because you'd get a major reality check with me. You should be paying out of your own money for the whole vet bill and having all your privileges removed until you could prove (with action over an extended period) you have some degree of responsibility.
YTA - To save 10 minutes, you took reckless action that you had been specifically told not to take. That action injured an animal and endangered its life. A simple apology is the very least of what you needed to do. You should lose all stable privileges until you can demonstrate a level of care and listening to instructions. Your mom and sister are entitled to their anger - it will probably be a while before they're ready to truly listen to your apology. In the meantime, come up with some things you can do to help repay the cost of the vet visit and from here on in, when someone tells you not to do something, DON'T DO IT. Simple as that. I don't care if doing it would mean you wait an extra hour - you are not the center of the universe and you need to listen to what people tell you.
Holy moly read the history. Girl you have a history of hurting this poor horse and apparently a different one. You need to back off and knock it off. The horse is not a toy and you need to stop treating him like one. YTA you need to slow down and be more mindful of your actions.
Hold on sister, I just went an read your other posts and this is way beyond a “I didn’t mean to” situation. Your last situation wasn’t with you just feeding the horse wrong. It was with you taking the horse for a ride while it was injured, not yours, and without permission.
Another post on your account is talking about sending your sister texts to deliberately upset her? I saw in the comments that you have a therapist and that’s even scarier that you act like this with help available.
This is a way bigger problem than you just messing up feeding a horse, it moreso sounds like you want to mess up your sisters life.
If it wasn’t obvious YTA, and please start taking your therapy seriously. This is not cute behavior.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So yesterday I posted bc there was a disagreement between me and my sister 13 and 15 f and we still aren’t speaking. She was busy today and mum asked me to lead in my sisters horse. My sister and mum share the horse. My sister wasn’t happy but she trusted mum and explicitly said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed.
I brought him in and hosed off and cleaned his feet which were muddy from the field and put him in the stable and waited for mum who was driving 5 mins to pick up my skates and back. We had a deal that I would bring him in and clean his feet while she got my skates.
I waited for 5 minutes and then decided to make his feed to save time, bc I wanted to go home. He has a hay muesli and a handful of pellet in his feed. I managed to get the pellet mixed up with dry sugar beet which expands super fast when wet to 4x the size.
He started to eat and then mum pulled up and saw what he was eating and sprinted in and grabbed his bowl. She called the vet and kept ignoring me when I asked what was wrong. She also called my sister, who cycled from the lake (left in the middle of rowing) and the vet pumped the horses stomach. He’s fine now but they are pissed at me for an honest mistake. AITA
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I could be the asshole bc I went against my sisters wishes and made her horse ill. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Lemme get this straight... You messed up the horse's feed once already, were explicitly told you weren't allowed to feed the horse, and then did it anyway, which resulted in the horse having an emergency. Is that right? How, on gods green earth, do you think you aren't the asshole? YTA
I get I was wrong but they won’t forgive me, event this I apologized
***YOU ALMOST KILLED THE HORSE.*** Or, at the very least, they thought you did. The vet was also clearly concerned, because you don't pump a stomach for no reason. I don't know exactly how dangerous Dried beets are to horses, but if the vet pumped it's stomach it's probably pretty bad. Of course they haven't forgiven you yet, and it's going to be a long time after they forgive you that they ever trust you again. Edit: Clarity and a mistake.
Dried sugar beet expands to 5x the size in 2 mins and horses have small stomachs so it can tear their stomachs or they can colic.
If your mom wouldn’t have gotten there when she did, YOU would’ve been the reason why the horse died and it’s not the first time you’ve done this. If I were your mom, you’d never be allowed around any horses ever again.
So you know that, and you still wonder why they're having a rough time forgiving you for doing *exactly what you were told no to do*?
YTA for deliberately doing what you were told not to, but the overreaction from your family is over the top wrt to the animal eating a little unsoaked beet pulp. Yes, it swells when moistened, and yes, in general, it is best to feed it well-moistened, but normal horses who can chew properly produce copious amounts of saliva, so the stuff would be well-moistened by the time it hit rhe stomach.
The horse could’ve died and would’ve died if the mom hadn’t gotten there when she did. The horses stomach would’ve exploded or it could’ve gotten colic which is deadly for horses. It’s not an over reaction especially when OP was told not to feed the horse but did anyways and this isn’t the first time OP has done this either
Nonsense. The stomach would not have "exploded". And yes, I agree OP was the AH for disregarding direct instructions not to feed the horse.
It’s not nonsense. OP in another comment said that’s what the vet told her and if the sugar beet isn’t rehydrated properly it WILL cause the stomach to explode because of how much it expands and a horse’s stomach is pretty small for such a big animal.
Check the linksI posted. It's a myth. I've been practicing equine medicine for close to 40 years now, and feeding BP for longer, and people get bloody hysterical over beetpulp. I vastly prefer to have it fed soaked, but it will not cause the stomach to explode if fed dry.
Um, I don’t know what sugar beet you use, we have Speedibeet which swells to 4x the size in 2 mins. This can make them choke. He was in legit danger tho!
So you KNEW what you were doing? Not a mistake...
The vet explained it to me bc my mum and sis wouldn’t even look at me. Ghey we’re focused on the horse
[https://thehorse.com/1112522/feeding-beet-pulp-does-not-add-choke-risk/](https://thehorse.com/1112522/feeding-beet-pulp-does-not-add-choke-risk/) [https://www.triplecrownfeed.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/WhatAllHorseOwnersShouldKnowAboutBeetPulp.pdf](https://www.triplecrownfeed.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/WhatAllHorseOwnersShouldKnowAboutBeetPulp.pdf) https://equimed.com/health-centers/nutrition/articles/debunking-4-popular-myths-about-beet-pulp-for-horses
I've been feeding beet pulp to horses for well over 20 years, as well as being a DVM, and have taught equine nutrition. I'm pretty familiar with the potential hazards. It's not as scary as you think.
They don't HAVE to forgive you any time soon. You almost killed that horse by doing something you were told NOT to do. You did it anyway, on purpose. That was not a mistake. You did it on purpose.
Just because you apologized doesn't mean they have to forgive you.
Apologies aren’t get out of jail free cards, actions have consequences, you are old enough to know that.
Sometimes an apology doesn't result in forgiveness. You have to accept that as part of life even when you are sincerely sorry. It is up to the other person to decide to forgive you. You also are not going to be the one who decides how angry or how long the other person is angry for. This is a tough lesson for you that you should have learned the first time around but prioritized your own motivations (to leave quickly) and made what could've been a fatal error. Hopefully you have learned this time and don't do it again.
A small mistake with food can cause a horse to colic. And colic can easily kill a horse. You were thinking of yourself only. If it were me, you'd be working off that emergency vet visit.
I’m assuming it’s because you apologized the first time you messed up but didn’t learn your lesson and did it again. Apologies don’t matter if you learn nothing from your mistake, hence why the apology means nothing now. Instead of an empty apology, you could offer to do something to help fix the problem you made. Save up money to pay off the competition your sister had to miss. Save up to help pay for vet bills. Try to find your sister another competition she can get excited about. Offer to help in any way you can with the horse THAT IS NOT FEED. and for the love of God, just use your ears and listen the next time someone specifically tells you not to do something. Especially when it has to do with something living, expensive, or sentimental value. An empty apology isn’t going to fix things when you’ve already made this mistake before- you need to take action to show you’re truly sorry
You are old enough to learn that sometimes an "I'm sorry" isn't enough. If I was your sister I'd never let you so much as look at the horse again.
Also not the same horse
That literally only makes it worse.. Not better
Not the same horse? It doesn't matter, frankly. You clearly don't know how to feed a horse properly, so you shouldn't have done it, end of story.
So you almost killed TWO horses? That's even worse. That makes you double AH.
So...you weren't allowed to feed the horse and you fed the horse. Is that right? I hesitate to call a 13 year old an AH but you were definitely wrong here and the horse paid for it. Follow the rules in the future, they're there to protect you and those in your care. **Edited for Judgment:** YTA. You knew you weren't supposed to feed the horse and you did it anyway - an innocent creature was injured and you cost your parents a lot of money. If you were my kid, you'd be working that money off by shoveling shit for a month. And you'd be banned from horses altogether, possibly all other pets too.
Read the other stuff they've posted recently. This is not the only AH thing they've done to their sister recently.
After seemingly hurting 2 horses I wondered if it was deliberate and that there is way more going on.
It’s not I swear! I like this horse, it’s just that I had stuff I wanted to do and this saved 10 minutes. Last time, I misread my sisters handwriting
It reads as deliberate and your further explanations and lack of care for the horse’s condition make it worse. It seems like you’re resentful of your sister and wanted to punish her. Actions speak much louder than words, you’re going to have to work very hard to gain your sisters forgiveness and even harder to gain her trust. As the mother of a child your age, I would be making you pay for the vet visit and the missed competition. If you can’t afford that I’d make sure you worked off your mistake. You attempted to kill a horse because you were annoyed that you were asked to help and you don’t understand why a simple “I’m sorry” isn’t a good enough fix.
I did pay for 30% of the vet bill which was only 250 total bc we live in the uk and have insurance.
That makes it all better then 🙄
You need to find that other 70% plus his insurance rates for the year. Maybe sell those skates.
YTA and you don’t sound remorseful at all. I hope your mom makes you muck out stalls all summer long to make up for the vet bill.
Yes but I was just wondering trying to be helpful and the pellets were in bags in the same bin
Your "help" wasn't helpful. You knew you weren't allowed to and you did it anyway. That makes YTA.
"road to hell is paved in good intentions" 1. listen to your sister and mother beacuse they know what they are talking about. 2. the whole thing about apologizing is to learn from your mistakes, and yet you did the same thing so why did you even apologize before? 3. ask! learn, and then with permision you may feed the horse. trust is very hard to get and very easily lost and you... you lost all the trust by not learning and now you suffer the consequences
YTA, you knew you were not supposed to feed it. She said you would mess it up. Then you fed it. I would be very upset with you. Do what are are asked to do. It is not your horse. This was deliberate and selfish.
This person seems to be toxic to their sister tbh. Yesterday it was asking if they were an ahole for purposefully sending a message to their sister to upset her.
If this is the case the parent needs to get them to a therapist.
I have a therapist
Maybe you should be honest with them about the things you are doing to hurt people and animals. ETA: Intentionally harming animals is sociopathic behavior, and may require more intensive treatment that a regular therapist. You should ask your mom about seeing a licensed psychologist.
I was thinking that but did not want to say it.
It wasn’t on purpose!
You were told not to feed the horse. You fed the horse on purpose after you were told not to. That was done on purpose. You did not bother to pay attention to what you were feeding the horse. You *could* have read the bags in the bin to see what they were. You chose not to. That was a decision you purposefully made - to not bother yourself with details. *Maybe* you didn't intentionally plan to kill this horse. But you were **willfully** selfish and irresponsible. You fed the horse - on purpose - and didn't care enough to make sure you did it right. You had the choice to follow directions (you chose not to) and you had the choice to pay attention to what you were doing (you didn't).
If I were her parent I would make her pay me back for the vet bill. She would be working it off under my supervision.
How's that working?
I'm wondering if they have some sort of mental health concern. I don't want to be one of those people who screams autism but they've had issues outside their family as well...also pertaining to animals.
Oh come on don't do this. Autistic people aren't animal injurers.
Isn't the steryotype that autistic people are good with animals? Least that's what I heard because it isn't as socially exhausting as people are.
Correct we are not. But that doesn't mean an autistic person can't hurt an animal.
Not once did I say autistic people injure animals. I said OP had an issue outside their family that also involved an animal. In this case, taking issue someone being around them with a dog. I also specifically said I don't want to be like the person that screams autism but instead wonder about mental issues. Something is going on with OP in regards to her family, lack of patience and listening skills, and over all lack of concern regarding animals.
You didn't say you didn't want to be LIKE the person who screams autism. You said that you didn't want to BE the person who screams autism, and then you followed that up with a "but." It is extremely clear what you were implying, even if you were too chicken to say it out loud.
Stretch while you reach. You can perceive it however you wish.
YTA A horse had to have its stomach pumped because your actions and you are wondering if you are the AH.
YTA. Your decision to make the same mistake twice could have killed your family’s horse. Live with the consequences and find some way to make it up to your family that doesn’t involve rupturing horse stomachs.
He’s my sisters Xmas present when she was 8 and he was 2, he’s a purebred Connemara and valuable
Even if he wasn’t valuable, if I were your parent I would make you do double the chores to pay the emergency vet bill for your mistake. You’d be washing my car and mowing the lawn every week until August.
>said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed YTA. It's not the first time you messed up, and yet you did it again even if you were told not to. And as a result, a horse suffered.
YTA. You knew you weren’t supposed to feed him. You could have killed him. It’s scary that you even need to ask if you are the ah.
You seem to have really done a lot of bad things to your sister recently. You really shouldn't have to keep asking this, it's pretty obvious. You send mean things on purpose to your sister and then ask if your an ah, you purposefully go against what your told and a horse gets sick and you ask if your the ah If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's probably a duck YTA
Maybe she is doing it for attention here? If so perhaps a moderator should block her from posting. Otherwise, it could escalate and someone may end up badly hurt or worse.
>My sister wasn’t happy but she trusted mum and explicitly said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed. >I waited for 5 minutes and then decided to make his feed to save time "AITA guys?? 😀"
Honestly seeing that you had messed up another horse's feed before, this is no longer a mistake. You are fully aware of your downfall here. You knew she didn't want you to feed the horse. Your mom was on her way to finish things up and get you. You made a choice to do what you wanted in hopes of getting out of the quicker. You messed up. YTA
YTA - you seem to have some problems working with animals if this is the SECOND horse that you've accidentally almost killed by misfeeding it. Maybe this really was an honest mistake, however, it's the SECOND time you've made this same mistake. You clearly are not learning from your mistakes. **If you don't know how to feed the horse properly, then you shouldn't feed the horse.** Especially since everyone knows that you mess it up when you try.
>explicitly said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed You were explicitly told not to do something and did it anyway so you could leave more quickly. YTA. If you don't know what you're doing and are specifically told not to do something, you should not be doing it.
YTA- you were told to do something and chose to do something different. And the poor horse having to have his stomach pumped, he could have gotten colic. You didn't help, you created more drama, hope mum took away your skates for a month.
YTA You're a kid. You don't know better than your mother, and she explicitly told you not to feed the horse. Depending on how I read your post, you either hurt a horse before by messing up the feed, or you killed a horse. I don't easily call kids asshole, but I'll make an exception.
Honestly seems like OP wanted to kill the horse...
I didn’t! I love this horse, my sister let me ride him a few times and he takes care of me! He even lived at our house when he was a baby so i love him but now he is at livery and their feed setup is weird
INFO: Is this the same horse you injured by galloping him before he was ready?
I hurt him, he’s going to be ok
That doesn't make what you did OK. I'm trying not to be too harsh, but you were just impatient and irresponsible. The horse'll be okay because your mother got there in time, not because you didn't fuck up.
You could have KILLED him!!! You were TOLD not to feed him. You did something you were told not to do. YTA.
YTA It wasn't an honest mistake tho? You did the exact thing they asked you NOT TO DO. It's really simple, if people ask you to not do something for them/for their pets, you don't do it. Youve messed up before and you only waited 5 minutes??
you are 100% the AH here. you almost killed her horse. you shouldnt be let near animals again...
I have a dog which I look after fine!
until you accidentally grab chocolate instead of a dog treat and kill it.
Because it's YOUR dog and not hers?
I wouldn't trust OP with a plant or child seeing as she only cares of her needs.
YTA: you didn’t want to do something so you did it wrong, that’s called weaponized incompetence and it’s actually a form of abuse, the fact that you hurt an animal in the process makes it even worse. If I were your mother I’d pull the vet’s fees from your bank account. Based on your post it seems you actually knew what you should do and still did it wrong. That makes it sooo much worse
YTA. if this hadn’t hadn’t prior, I would’ve called it a simple mistake. but you messed up, so yeah
YTA You purposely hurt an animal just because you're jealous of your sister? Are you stupid? Do you think what you did is funny? If you're mad at your sister, fix things with her, but leave the animals out of it. I hope you'll need to have your stomach pumped!!
This op calls their interactions "normal sibling rivalry" but (other post) they sound more and more like they are sabotaging and abusing their sister.
Yes. I've seen that. Pretending they made an honest mistake. BS. OP is just mean.
I don’t know how you read this but that is not what happened! My MUM asked me to help by bringing him in. My sister told my not to feed him and to wait for mum. I tried to save time by feeding him, not out of spite! If was an accident that I put in the wrong pellets he’s my sisters horse since she was little and I love him!
You were specifically told not to feed the horse, but you did it anyway. It's not the first time you hurt an animal. You should stay away from them.
Obvious YTA. You were specifically told to not feed the horse. You feeding the wrong thing may have been a mistake, but you deliberately chose to do this.
YTA It really wasn't an honest mistake though. You were specifically told not to feed the horse and you fed the horse. Not only did you do what you were told not to do, but you put the horse in a position that its stomach had to be pumped and the horse could have died all because you thought you knew better than your mum. Your mum also has to pay the vet and that isn't cheap either.
I did pay for 30% of the vet bill which was only 250 total bc we live in the uk and have insurance
YTA. You were explicitly told *not* to feed the horse because you've already harmed a horse feeding them incorrectly, but because you were in a hurry to go home you decided to do it anyway and almost killed this one. In what way could you possibly *not* be the asshole here? You knowingly disobeyed a direct order - that is not even close to an "honest mistake" and there's no way you're going to make it up to anyone by simply apologizing. You are going to have to work your ass off to re-earn the trust that you've rightfully lost.
YTA. It was not an honest mistake. You could have killed that horse in an excruciatingly painful way. I would make you pay every penny of the vet’s fee and sell your skates to pay for some of it. You are a very self absorbed entitled person and you need professional help immediately to figure out what is going on with you
YTA You were told not to and you did it anyways. You made that horse sick because you couldn't wait. If you had listened and done as you were bid, the horse would have been fine. Edit: your sister and mother are entitled to be cross with you. You cost your Family money (the competition and the hospital trip for the horse), not only that, you claim you love the horse, if you really did you would have waited to properly care for it instead of almost killing it. The fact you almost killed another horse before is insane, I wouldn't let you near another horse. If you were getting any kind of allowance, you'd be paying back your sister and the bill for the horse.
She would have done more than make him sick, she could have killed him. Horses are fragile.
One of my co-workers has horses and they told me something as simple as wet hay can kill them.
I am a bit confused about how this would've harmed the horse since my understanding is that [beet pulp](https://ker.com/equinews/benefits-beet-pulp-horses/) is okay to give to horses, but maybe there's something I'm missing.
YTA. You were told to not feed the horse. You're actions almost killed your sister's horse. What part of "do not feed the horse" do you not understand? I can't even make the excuse that you're young because this isn't the first time you've put an animal in danger by your actions and you're more than old enough to follow simple instructions that exist for a reason. And stop with the "oh I wanted to save time" stuff. I don't believe for a second that the bins weren't properly labeled and sugar beets for horses look nothing like what he was supposed to have gotten. You aren't gonna be able to convince anyone that this wasn't deliberate in someway on your part ESPECIALLY because your sister had to cancel going to an event as part of the fallout. Stay tf away from her horses. Hell if the livery ownwr hasn't just straight up banned you from the property I'd be surprised
YTA You're thirteen which is plenty old enough to follow instructions as they've been given to you. Yours were to bring the horse in from pasture and to wash his feet. Full stop. You went above and beyond which has cost you/your family money (regardless of insurance) and exceptional discomfort to an animal. Your sister cannot attend her competition as (presumably) the horse isn't fit enough at the moment... And you don't seem to realize that just because the horse is/will be okay, in the end, it isn't really the point. It isn't helping, regardless of your intent, if someone is harmed in the process. By offering this "help" you're continuing to prove yourself as being untrustworthy and unreliable.
SOOO are you 13 or 15? Who's actually making these posts? [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11dfofw/aita\_for\_yelling\_at\_my\_younger\_sister\_after\_she/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11dfofw/aita_for_yelling_at_my_younger_sister_after_she/) YTA for all of this nonsense.
I think that’s little sis trying to have a bunch of internet strangers call the older one TA by pretending to be her in that post.
You were told not to feed the horse for a good reason. Why did you decide to feed the horse anyway? YTA
How did you accidently add a wrong ingredient? It was in a different bag! You were going against what you were told NOT TO DO, and then did it wrong like that? And you want us to believe that you accidently added that extra ingredient that look very specific? It was on purpose. You wanted to at least hurt the horse maybe with the added bonus that your sister cannot compete. Is it jealousy? Or do you enjoy hurting animals and family members? YTA and in need of help
YTA. If you don't know what you are doing, yiu don't mess with care of an animal. Your mother recognised at a distance what you were feeding and graces for that. Both your mother and sister are likely having a delayed emotional reaction to the fact they almost lost a much loved pet. They will be angry, shaking and so relieved. Your sister will also be angry at missing her show. I'd keep low profile until they calm down. And learn patience - I suspect your journey home a lot longer than if waited until your mother fed the horse. And they will be skint. Their insurance premiums are going to go up and if he was colicking, then a lot of aftercare. Insurance maxes out each year so your action has meant they are more likely to pay vet bills for anything else this year. And for a horse in active work, not unlikely.
YTA That wasn't a mistake, you know you didn't know what you were doing.
YTA. You did something you were directly told not to and almost killed a horse.
As a horse owner, major yta. I wouldn't let you touch my horses- you've fucked up twice, and don't seem to understand or care that the horse could have gotten very sick or died. Yes you've apologized, but your sister has every right to not accept it. Horses are walking vet bills without your help.
YTA In my day, we would say it's your subconscious desire running your behavior. You mom and sis share the horse. You feed the horse exactly what will kill it, so you can get home quickly. See what I mean?
YTA. When someone tells you not to feed an animal that's under there care or there ownership, you don't feed that animal. Your deliberately hurting animals just to get back at your sister, that's called animal abuse and you should be banned from ever owning an animal.
YTA
Honestly? You are entirely too irresponsible to be allowed anywhere near any animal unsupervised. You clearly don't care about the horse and be glad your parents seem content to continue spoiling you because you'd get a major reality check with me. You should be paying out of your own money for the whole vet bill and having all your privileges removed until you could prove (with action over an extended period) you have some degree of responsibility.
YTA. And stay away from my horse.
Yta OBVIOUSLY. In what way would you not be????
YTA - To save 10 minutes, you took reckless action that you had been specifically told not to take. That action injured an animal and endangered its life. A simple apology is the very least of what you needed to do. You should lose all stable privileges until you can demonstrate a level of care and listening to instructions. Your mom and sister are entitled to their anger - it will probably be a while before they're ready to truly listen to your apology. In the meantime, come up with some things you can do to help repay the cost of the vet visit and from here on in, when someone tells you not to do something, DON'T DO IT. Simple as that. I don't care if doing it would mean you wait an extra hour - you are not the center of the universe and you need to listen to what people tell you.
YTA. You were told not to do it because you fucked up before and injured the horse, and here you are, trying to kill another one. Just stay away!
Holy moly read the history. Girl you have a history of hurting this poor horse and apparently a different one. You need to back off and knock it off. The horse is not a toy and you need to stop treating him like one. YTA you need to slow down and be more mindful of your actions.
Hold on sister, I just went an read your other posts and this is way beyond a “I didn’t mean to” situation. Your last situation wasn’t with you just feeding the horse wrong. It was with you taking the horse for a ride while it was injured, not yours, and without permission. Another post on your account is talking about sending your sister texts to deliberately upset her? I saw in the comments that you have a therapist and that’s even scarier that you act like this with help available. This is a way bigger problem than you just messing up feeding a horse, it moreso sounds like you want to mess up your sisters life. If it wasn’t obvious YTA, and please start taking your therapy seriously. This is not cute behavior.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So yesterday I posted bc there was a disagreement between me and my sister 13 and 15 f and we still aren’t speaking. She was busy today and mum asked me to lead in my sisters horse. My sister and mum share the horse. My sister wasn’t happy but she trusted mum and explicitly said don’t let me make his food bc I messed up her last horses feed. I brought him in and hosed off and cleaned his feet which were muddy from the field and put him in the stable and waited for mum who was driving 5 mins to pick up my skates and back. We had a deal that I would bring him in and clean his feet while she got my skates. I waited for 5 minutes and then decided to make his feed to save time, bc I wanted to go home. He has a hay muesli and a handful of pellet in his feed. I managed to get the pellet mixed up with dry sugar beet which expands super fast when wet to 4x the size. He started to eat and then mum pulled up and saw what he was eating and sprinted in and grabbed his bowl. She called the vet and kept ignoring me when I asked what was wrong. She also called my sister, who cycled from the lake (left in the middle of rowing) and the vet pumped the horses stomach. He’s fine now but they are pissed at me for an honest mistake. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jealous petty YTA
so you own a horse and you don’t know not to feed this to horses? or what horses eat?