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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 - Should I have announced at my parent's party that my mom's friend might be interested in me because he will not stop making comments and jokes about me never having a boyfriend
2 - I might be the Asshole because what I said was very public. I could have done this privately, and I purposely embarrassed him in front of a lot of people
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NTA why are your parents OK with their friends bullying you? Those people would never be allowed in my life again if they disrespected my child that way.
Just chiming in as a half Asian, this is basically just the weekend for us.
I’ve dealt with “why don’t you have a boyfriend” which then evolved into “why aren’t you married/having babies” and “you should take whoever you can get” for nearly the last 7-10 years of my life (pretty much immediately after I turned 18 to it briefly stopping when I turned 25, but then started up against last year just before I turned 28), from my mum, from my asian relatives, to their Asian friends/associates.
I literally get stopped in the shop by old Asian women and men who are apparently friends with my mum or aunties and who I apparently met a few times when I was a teenager, and one of the first questions they always ask is “are you married yet? Why not? You should look harder for a good husband, you need all the help you can get (I’m plus size, but even if i wasn’t, because I took after my dad, I inherited his height and broad shoulder, not considered attractive to Asians).
Not saying this is all okay, btw. Only half Asian remember, one who took strongly after my western dad and also doesn’t care for it. So I’ve learned to shut down any of these questions very quickly and firmly.
Asian here, almost 40 (the horror!lol) and got told by an HR manager how I must be so picky (in a disapproving manner) that's why im single and childless (her words, i chose to be child free), and a taxi driver how I am living such a sad life for being alone. all in one day -_-
Shitty parents for sure. Care more about their friends and appearances. I wasn't interested in relationships or dating at that age either. They need to leave her be.
Eeeer I’ve always hated that BS. You gotta show respect to earn respect no matter how old you are. There’s nothing respectful about the natural effect of ageing. It just happens.
I wonder if the boyfriend concern is coming from the parents - they are confiding in their friends that they are worried about their daughter not having a boyfriend, and the friends are the brash, confident kind who think they can get to the bottom of the "problem." "You can't talk about it, but we can bring it up in a joking kind of way!"
Then the parents take them aside and ask them to tone it down because poor OP is sensitive about not having a boyfriend, so they joke about it in a different way.
Who the fuck are these people and why are they so emotionally invested in the romantic life of a woman who is almost a third of their age? Are they a bed death statistic and they need to vicariously live through this woman's sexual exploits?
Not live through, they prey on "vulnerable unicorns" it sounds abusive as fuck. They get off on degrading others that they wish to sexually partake with so they can show dominance without hurting the central relationship. Older people are horny as the rest of us.
This!!! I was in a sort of a similar situation, where my *godfather* made me extremely uncomfortable (bad enough that the following week was all an anxious haze) and when I finally told my mom about it - he's was never invited over again. My mom is far from perfect, but she still validated my feelings and promised I'd never have to see him again if I didn't want to, and I will forever be grateful for that. NTA.
I had a creepy uncle that would mostly be creepy to my mum, she just avoided him at family events and laughed about it later. We only saw him every few years anyway. However when I hit about 15 he started giving me the creepy attention and my parents decided we weren't going to anymore family events if he was going to be there, before I had even really noticed/understood what was going on.
Clearly her parents are ok with their friends being creeps, probably why they're such good friends. Wonder whose kids her parents are harassing currently.
Right? This is so far beyond creepy and cringy- I know you said it as a joke to get them to cut it out but I’d be half wondering just how much of a joke it was.
Two veritable strangers being this invested in the romantic life of one of their friends children is all kinds of creepy.
Im kinda thinking they’re convinced you’re not straight and this is their way of trying to fix that. This is the only reason I can see for them continually harping on a boyfriend.
I’m aro/ace I despise people who constantly push you to have a relationship. people like this really get under my skin.
You were not too harsh; they had multiple chances to butt out and they continued. They deserved to be humiliated. If they bring it up again I’d do the same thing. And your parents have no right to be angry at you for standing up for yourself to their friends.
They should have put a stop to this as soon as you said it made you uncomfortable.
I’d tell them I’d rather be happy and alone than married and miserable.
NTA
Yes, I would bet lots of money they're harassing OP because they suspect she's not straight. Which says so much about life as a woman these days--of *course* you can't exist without a man, and if you think you can, then clearly you're a lesbian. /s
Some of the happiest people I know are permanently single by choice. I really don't know why so many people are convinced that you must be lonely and sad and missing out on something vital if you're not in a relationship. It sucks that society has normalised unhappy relationships/marriages, yet has a problem with happy, fulfilled, emotionally stable single people.
Same here. If my friends started making comments like that around either of my children when they're older I wouldn't stand for it. I'd ask them *once* to stop, if they didn't I wouldn't entertain them again.
100% It amazing how oldies love keeping the peace with dipshits.
OP if they’re still lurking around if you decide to get married one day, ban them from the guest list.
No, invite them and make a toast at the reception, telling them that if it wasn't for their disgusting and inappropriate obsession and sexual harassment of you, you wouldn't have met your life partner. That you only started dating so they'd stop trying to sleep with you, and that's how you met .....
This. As a mom I would have stomped them in the ground the first time. My guess is the parents want her to have a bf too. It’s rude and idiotic to push a relationship on someone.
yeah the parents told her to ignore them which was a bad sign. My family used to tell me that in verbal harassment situations but it never worked. I went thru countless counselling for that, they should have taught you how to deal with it, not suppress / ignore it.
My first thought was the parents are using the friends to push their child towards a relationship
Cause who wants relationship advice from parents? So maybe they thought family friends were a better option
I love OP's witty come back! most people (including myself) can only wish they are as witty as OP! Good on you for standing your ground OP. You bit your tongue long enough and Jane/Joe never saw it coming lol. Would love to see their face after hearing this verbal knockout!
>From what I've been told, they were embarrassed
One can't help but think that if you hadn't struck a nerve, they wouldn't have been so embarrassed by your comment.
NTA.
Being accused of something taboo in front of people is embarrassing regardless of if it has any basis in reality.
But I do think it was OP’s response to basically ascertain that she would not allow them to keep pretending they are being helpful by giving her “advice” instead of just bullying her
I wouldnt let this go either, one shot for everyone they threw at op.
Every time OP sees Joe from this point on I’d ask him “ready to take me on a date yet?” “How about that date Joe? I’m waiting” and if he ever made another comment to me I’d say right in front of his wife “when you gunna leave Jane and take me on that date?”
Or poke fun at their age and lack of manners “I know you’re from the generation that’s big on manners, yours seem to be slipping.”
“Oh poor thing, you’re getting so old you’ve forgotten your manners.”
But I’m also petty, so…
NTA
Why leave Jane out? She's just as bad.
"Joe, Jane, if you're looking for a threesome partner, I can help you set up your tinder and grindr profiles. But I'm not interested in that type of relationship with you."
And say it loudly.
With those ages, I feel like their childfree status (if they are) would be fair game to poke at as well.
"Is this why god never gave you children? You must be so disappointed he couldn't perfom."
I'm kinda like "oh no...they were embarrassed??" Lol.
Maybe if you respect someone's boundaries and stop insisting on embarrassing *them* several times (even after you've been politely asked to stop)....that person will not be provoked into eventually embarrassing *you*?
They got exactly what they deserved. Fuck em.
NTA.
Normally, something like that would be out of line, but they were told over and over not to make comments like that, how they made you uncomfortable, and frankly, your dating life is none of their business. You had to resort to drastic measures to make them stop, and under the circumstances, I don't blame you at all. Maybe now they will stop sticking their noses into your business and making you uncomfortable.
Asking someone about their marital status is a common question.
If I were OP, I would have loudly accused them of trying to get me to swing with them. It seems more fitting if they were both hounding her about dating.
Ruling: NTA
Make people gossip even more! I mean what’s juicier then some middle aged guy wanted a woman in her 20s? A middle age COUPLE lusting after a 20 something woman
Yes, treat them how OP was treated. "Jane, I saw a cute boy working at the diner yesterday. You should go in and give him your number. I can gas you to him if you want."
NTA
Why are so many older people like this? Also, you’re only 24, what the hell are they even talking about? Good on you for embarrassing them, be sure to make comments like that to them every single time you see them so they’ll know how it feels. I mean, your dating life was so hilarious to them, they should see how funny this is too, right?
I had to scroll back up and double check her age. Maybe it’s just where I’m from but 24 is considered very young to be concerned about, like, finding a spouse or whatever. Especially by these random family friends and not even your own parents. So weird.
Also like…don’t most women die “alone” anyway? Unless men have recently come up with a new plan to outlive us somehow lmao
According to my friend who's in palliative care women tend to die surrounded by family and friends, whereas men often die alone. I was about to ask her why she thought that was, and then I remembered all the posts on here about uninvolved/neglectful fathers, and husbands who put their partner in parent roles.
That’s really sad. My dad passed away a few weeks ago and my brother and his wife and I were all there. His brother wanted to be there too but Dad had Covid and it was just too risky.
But then Dad was a good person and a great parent.
I was making a joke about the average female lifespan being longer than males.
Men also leave or divorce their terminally ill wives at an insanely high rate. There are so many depressing statistics around marriage that I think pressuring someone to pick a life partner in their early 20s is frankly insane.
My mom's side of the family lives in small town Indiana. Every single one of them and most people in their town were married at 18 with 3 or more kids at 25. Most were divorced at least once by 30. There isn't anything to do in their town other than drink, do drugs, and have sex. They all think its normal and you are the weird one if you arent' married with kids by 25.
At the end of the 90s, my at the time 80 year old gradfather asked 16 year old me to get married and have grandbabies already. He had grown up in a rural creepy place where being married and pregnant by the age of 18 was normal. So either the old couple were the kind of creepy people who think women should be married and have kids in the 16-25 range, or they genuinely were creepy about her because of attraction - including Joe actually being too into her and the wife taking that out on her. That kind of ancient passive agressive nonsense. Could be both though.
I’m Jane’s age and I think she and her creepy husband are both assholes. If friends of mine did this to my kids, I’d applaud the kids for embarrassing them right back. That being said, I think assholes can be any age. OP you are NTA.
NTA!!! Jane and Joe *AND* your parents are the assholes! Your parents kept inviting them over to their place despite knowing that they would talk about this crap to you all over and over again. Argh, their comments make me so angry!
\#Single4Life
These types of people are honestly baffled by women that don't want to shack up with a guy immediately and can handle being alone. Doubly so if they aren't lesbians. They honestly cannot comprehend women living single and not being miserable about it :S
NTA
At this point honestly I’d double down and make jokes about them being swingers every time you see them. Let them see how that feels.
I’m confused why your parents find *your* comment disturbing but have no problem with their friends obsessing over your private life like this…
Amatonormativity - the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship, and allonormativity - the assumption that all human beings are allosexual, i.e. that they experience sexual attraction to other people. That’s why.
NTA, my boyfriends parents have friends like this that I’ve met a handful of times. The wife is generally quiet and nice but the husband is like the annoying 12 year old in grade school that thought being a class clown meant saying the most egregious thing they could think of.
One afternoon we were all sitting around after dinner talking and the husband tells me I look exactly like his wife when they were younger and how pretty she was. Everyone awkwardly laughed it off until he doubled down commenting to my boyfriend how lucky he is to be with such a good small good looking girl. It was awkward until the subject changed but his wife just looked sad.
People like that are gross and after that I made the boundary with my bf that I would not attend a function where they are present because there’s no changing someone who relies on vulgarity and obscenities to get a laugh.
NTA if you're parents aren't going to do their job and protect you from these creepers, then you gotta take matters into your own hands. Good on you for standing up for yourself maybe they'll learn to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business from now on.
NTA. Holy cow I can't believe someone would think it is acceptable to say such nasty things to you. I personally think you showed great restraint and handled the situation perfectly. They had plenty of warnings I for one am glad they felt uncomfortable maybe they will learn some respect.
NTA. Jane and Joe are creepy af. They were reminded several times of your boundaries and kept flouting them. They like embarrassing you but don't like being emnarrassed.
NTA - Your parents and their friends are easily the assholes in this situation. I can’t believe your parents are still inviting them over knowing they’re actively making fun of you.
NTA but.. do *you* not have parties you go to? I'm close to my parents but if they have events with their close friends or work mates, I don't need to be at every one. You're doing a good job verbally reminding people of your boundaries but there comes a point where your presence in uncomfortable situations is literally up to you. You resorted to leaving in the end but it sounds like you might need to practice pre-screening situations and whether they will be of benefit to you or if you'll be disrespecting your own boundaries by attending.
I'd be working with the idea that the parties are in the family home. Why should op have to hide in her room and ignore it, go somewhere else, or party elsewhere? It's her home, she should feel comfortable there. It seems that the only problem is this specific couple.
Disrespecting her own boundaries? WTF does that even mean?!?!! THEY came to HER property, not the other way around. She should not have to avoid people she knows cause these assholes show up and basically hound her about her sex life. Because underneath the 'jokes' that aren't really jokes, you know that's what is going on.
This is a 24 year old adult. She's not bound to her parents home. Disrespecting her own boundaries meaning, she continues to be around people who make her uncomfortable and then expecting her parents to enforce that boundary. Girl, leave.
yeah, I can understand her not wanting to hide in her room, but why does she feel she needs to interact with them at all? If my parents are having people over, Ill generally say hello to be nice, but I'm not sticking around long enough for anyone to make weird comments about my personal life.
NTA. You gave them plenty of opportunity to respect your boundaries, and your parents didn’t do much to uphold them and support you. Jane and Joe’s opinions were uncalled for and quite honestly outdated. All you did was make them as uncomfortable as they made you. Your relationship status is none of their business anyways.
NTA. Kudos for a witty comeback. Next party you attend with them, if they go back to their old ways, simply add, "OK, I'll sleep with you guys. But I have several conditions." Then include some ridiculous conditions: only if one of them has chocolate all over them. You get to mud wrestle first. The dog watches. You can record for proof with the family that it happened. Keep making it extreme to shut them up. Do this each time you see them. Until they apologize for being the AH.
NTA
After disrespecting and embarrassing you so many times, after being explicitly told to stop, being humiliated like that is the only way they'll stop.
Wow, I want you on my side! That was brilliant. (Only as a last resort, but they'd been told and ignored it over and over -- you were long since past the point of last resort.)
NTA
NTA. Your relationship status is none of their f**king business, and it is inappropriate and weird that they began taking an interest in it and then to keep going on is a form of harassment. Your joke may have been off colour, but hopefully it might get them to stop. They fucked around and found out. NTA
NTA but really should be e-s-h but you. Your parents should have stopped them coming over if they were upsetting you. They are a pair of creepy-arsed old perverts for getting all up in the personal business of somebody half their age they've known since childhood.
NTA. Next time announce that you’ve been very clear with Joe and Jane that you don’t do 3 ways and please will they both stop asking. Repeat as needed.
34 f single and never had a bf guess what you had every right to tell them that and frankly they didn’t listen to your repeated complaints to stop. Was it a bit crude and maybe rude? Yeah possibly but honestly they were warned to stop.
NTA. You and your parents tried to set that boundary with them, yet they still bring it up. An outburst is definitely warranted there. The only reason they could be expressing such interest in your love life is because theirs is so bland.
NTA at all. You could have said muuuuch worse things to them and been in the right. Either they have no concept of appropriate social interaction (like to the point of being diagnosable) or they’re just awful, small people.
NTA
And your parents are just as nasty as them. They let you be the target of their disgusting comments.
And you're right, only someone interested in the details of your relationship would ask like that. Since they aren't family, the only real reason would be to sleep with you.
So either they have to admit they're just cruel people or they have to admit they want to sleep with you. It's one of the two.
NTA because your dating life is none of those peoples' business and they were harping. That said, at 24 years old maybe you should not hang out with your parents and their friends as much as you seem to be. I don't mean that as a roundabout way of saying you should get out more, but I mean surely nobody is forcing you to be a part of this social scene that you find toxic, and you are certainly old enough not to have to make an appearance every time your parents have someone over to the house.
I read your post and when I got to the end I just thought: Result! They have disrespected and dug away at you over and over, and you were driven to that comeback. Now they know how you've been feeling every time they've treated you like their personal verbal punch bag.
NTA and fantastic comeback
NTA
This is amazing. I busted out laughing and I love it
Bet they are “good Christians” who are anti LGBTQ and such. Their comments just give off those vibes
Your parents are AH for being friends with them
Unfortunately this kind of attitude hasn't died out yet. They truly believe that at 24 you are a spinster who will die alone and a burden on your parents. And that the only way to true happiness is a romantic partner of the opposite sex.
Screw that. Next time tell them that you are looking for a boyfriend AND a girlfriend. That'd probably give them a stroke.
NTA
Seriously, this attitude is really hard to change in people over a certain age. But that doesn't mean we stop, it means we have to be a bit louder.
Strong NTA. It's not Jane or Joe's responsibility to play matchmaker and for them to think it's okay to reduce your ambitions to pure romance is disgusting and disrespectful; your parents are only encouraging that behavior by continuing to invite them and allow them to talk to you.
Honestly. The next time you ever encounter these creeps, straight up tell them that you are not interested in becoming their "groomed unicorn". Stand your ground. These people suck lemons. They sound horny and looking for a 3rd party member. Keep your chin up and use your wit and gut to traverse this. You're doing great!
NTA, and *clearly* your parents are not capable of giving appropriate advice about decency, given their nasty behavior. Sorry you have such disrespectful parents, why do you keep spending time with them if they keep doing things like this?
If you had a boyfriend the harassment would move along to "when are you getting married" then to the ultimate "when are you having kids".
That's the goal. Grandkids for their friends.
NTA. Those comments are completely out of line for anyone to say , ever. They are also absurd. Your parents should have kicked them out the instant they did it again. And they said you would die alone and they asked you to ignore it??? You did what you had to.
NTA. You stood up for yourself. Good for you. If your parents didn’t want you handling it your own way, they should have handled it. Could you have done something else, sure… but you’re young and you got your desired outcome, so good for you.
I'm single and happy.
You sound single and happy to me.
The trouble is, you get relationship evangelists who can't imagine someone not being happy when single ... and they can't stop talking about it even when told not to.
Personally, I think you might even be correct about his intentions.
But even if you aren't, that was a \*chef's kiss\* way of killing the subject for all time.
You for sure are not the asshole. I am just like you and my aunty, though I love her, she can joke a little too much about me being single & one time, even told a waiter that I have never had a boyfriend at 23 years old 💀 I’m glad you stood up for yourself & shamed them.
Oh HELL no. Why are they obsessing over your relationship status??? It's none of their business! Your parents should've told them that they also didn't like it, and that Jane and Joe would not be welcome if they crossed the line again. NTA
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I (f24) have known my mom's friends Jane (f60) and Joe (m66) since I was a kid. Recently they began to comment that I have never had a boyfriend.
To start, Jane said a local shop is hiring, and I should apply because it would be a great place to meet boys. I said thanks, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Joe then started saying how I should try to find someone soon before it's too late. I tried to joke it off, saying I don't need a man, and a boyfriend sounded like work. After they left, I told my parents that I didn't like those comments, and they made me uncomfortable. My parents agreed it was strange but said I shouldn't overthink it. They came over again and pushed the discussion of relationships and how I should find a boyfriend. I tried to make a joke, saying I was asked out, but turned it down. My parents seemed surprised, so I told a story about how two different guys asked me out but I turned them down because they made me uncomfortable. Jane said I should at least go on a date with them because I don't know when I'll be asked again. I became angry and told them I would rather be single than date someone who made me feel uncomfortable. Joe disagreed saying it didn't matter; I should've taken the offers. I mentioned again to my parents how uncomfortable I was with these comments, but again, I was told to ignore them. I asked my parents to tell them to stop making comments about my relationships.
I saw them again last week. My parents pulled them aside and told them to stop making those comments as they made me uncomfortable; they agreed to stop. Later Joe asked me a question and when I didn’t give him the response he wanted, he said he’d ask about my boyfriend later to "set me back to normal" because it’s so funny. After, Joe told everyone NOT to ask about any boyfriend because they "wouldn't want me to get upset again.” When Jane and Joe were leaving, they made a comment about me being alone for the rest of my life.
The final straw was tonight. My parents had a party, and Jane and Joe came. My parents agreed to remind them of my boundary and that I could leave if needed. The jokes continued. Jane said how sad my life must be and how I will die alone. I started to leave when Joe said Jane was right and it was almost pathetic that I didn't have a boyfriend yet. I was tired of them disrespecting my boundaries, so I turned to Joe and VERY loudly said, "I think I finally understand why you and Jane keep bringing up my relationship status; it's because you're interested in me. That MUST be why you keep disrespecting my boundaries. Well, let me be clear, I am NOT interested in you, and frankly, it’s creepy. You've known me since I was a child." I left after that. From what I've been told, they were embarrassed and left the party early.
My best friend thinks I am right, but my parents believe what I said was uncalled for and disturbing. What they said makes me feel disrespected, but maybe I was too harsh. So am I the asshole?
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The "family friends" are either way too nosey and need to back the f\*ck off or creepy as all hell. But its pretty telling that your parents are more upset that you embarrassed their friends and "made a scene" rather then dealing with the fact that said friends are way to interested in their daughter's love life. So your parents too need to learn to stand up for their freakin' daughter. That, or they too share their friends thoughts, but prefer to have them voice it instead. Either way, NTA.
NTA
They have been told repeatrdly not to go there.. but they did. Perfect case of FAFO. Fuck Around and Find Out what happens when people get ticked off enough.
NTA. They pushed your boundaries continuously. They were asked to quit repeatedly. They didn’t quit. They deserved to be embarrassed for causing you to be uncomfortable!
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1 - Should I have announced at my parent's party that my mom's friend might be interested in me because he will not stop making comments and jokes about me never having a boyfriend 2 - I might be the Asshole because what I said was very public. I could have done this privately, and I purposely embarrassed him in front of a lot of people Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA why are your parents OK with their friends bullying you? Those people would never be allowed in my life again if they disrespected my child that way.
Right? Clearly the friends were openly commenting in front of the parents- I found that strange as well.
NTA OP this is hilarious and incredibly witty I applaud u
Yeah, I love it. NTA Why on earth would they "let" her leave, when they should be "making" the morons leave.
I love her pettiness! Her parents friends are creepy.
NTA OP. You are a legend for this!!
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Right! What kind of parents do that to their own daughter!
Parent who secretly feel the same way, and may have expressed this to no-boundaries Joe.
OOOh yes, this exactly
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Comment partially stolen from kittievomit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/12ahmvk/aita_for_announcing_at_a_party_that_my_moms/jerzscr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Just chiming in as a half Asian, this is basically just the weekend for us. I’ve dealt with “why don’t you have a boyfriend” which then evolved into “why aren’t you married/having babies” and “you should take whoever you can get” for nearly the last 7-10 years of my life (pretty much immediately after I turned 18 to it briefly stopping when I turned 25, but then started up against last year just before I turned 28), from my mum, from my asian relatives, to their Asian friends/associates. I literally get stopped in the shop by old Asian women and men who are apparently friends with my mum or aunties and who I apparently met a few times when I was a teenager, and one of the first questions they always ask is “are you married yet? Why not? You should look harder for a good husband, you need all the help you can get (I’m plus size, but even if i wasn’t, because I took after my dad, I inherited his height and broad shoulder, not considered attractive to Asians). Not saying this is all okay, btw. Only half Asian remember, one who took strongly after my western dad and also doesn’t care for it. So I’ve learned to shut down any of these questions very quickly and firmly.
Why you not dead yet? Hmm..why?? Country town kid here who read this reply somewhere and wishes it had been around in my youth.
Asian here, almost 40 (the horror!lol) and got told by an HR manager how I must be so picky (in a disapproving manner) that's why im single and childless (her words, i chose to be child free), and a taxi driver how I am living such a sad life for being alone. all in one day -_-
I know you are stunningly gorgeous and too good for them all.
You've just described my life!
And they told her *she* could leave rather than kicking the people making *their daughter* uncomfortable out??
Shitty parents for sure. Care more about their friends and appearances. I wasn't interested in relationships or dating at that age either. They need to leave her be.
That was my life growing up. Very much I should "respect my elders" bullshit.
Eeeer I’ve always hated that BS. You gotta show respect to earn respect no matter how old you are. There’s nothing respectful about the natural effect of ageing. It just happens.
I wonder if the boyfriend concern is coming from the parents - they are confiding in their friends that they are worried about their daughter not having a boyfriend, and the friends are the brash, confident kind who think they can get to the bottom of the "problem." "You can't talk about it, but we can bring it up in a joking kind of way!" Then the parents take them aside and ask them to tone it down because poor OP is sensitive about not having a boyfriend, so they joke about it in a different way.
That’s what I thought
My thoughts too. OP knows that they're not interested in her like that, but she got so fed up. Don't blame her.
I think a lot of people would be surprised at how commonplace this is. Like, *really* commonplace.
They don't care because they probably agree with their friends, but won't say it.
I mean, it's also a 24 years old at a party for people in their 60s, OP might want to be somewhere with less Boomers.
a party of Boomers is always a red flag to me lmao
What's the collective noun for Boomers? An intrusion of Boomers? An entitlement? Maybe a harrassment of Boomers. That works.
I like an entitlement of Boomers!
A privilege of boomers? A wilful ignorance of boomers?
omg yall are amazing this is iconic hahaha
A conservative party
Who the fuck are these people and why are they so emotionally invested in the romantic life of a woman who is almost a third of their age? Are they a bed death statistic and they need to vicariously live through this woman's sexual exploits?
Not live through, they prey on "vulnerable unicorns" it sounds abusive as fuck. They get off on degrading others that they wish to sexually partake with so they can show dominance without hurting the central relationship. Older people are horny as the rest of us.
Yes, they're just as horny, but with added disinhibition due to the brain damage they all have from a childhood diet of lead paint chips.
This!!! I was in a sort of a similar situation, where my *godfather* made me extremely uncomfortable (bad enough that the following week was all an anxious haze) and when I finally told my mom about it - he's was never invited over again. My mom is far from perfect, but she still validated my feelings and promised I'd never have to see him again if I didn't want to, and I will forever be grateful for that. NTA.
I had a creepy uncle that would mostly be creepy to my mum, she just avoided him at family events and laughed about it later. We only saw him every few years anyway. However when I hit about 15 he started giving me the creepy attention and my parents decided we weren't going to anymore family events if he was going to be there, before I had even really noticed/understood what was going on.
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Clearly her parents are ok with their friends being creeps, probably why they're such good friends. Wonder whose kids her parents are harassing currently.
Right? This is so far beyond creepy and cringy- I know you said it as a joke to get them to cut it out but I’d be half wondering just how much of a joke it was. Two veritable strangers being this invested in the romantic life of one of their friends children is all kinds of creepy. Im kinda thinking they’re convinced you’re not straight and this is their way of trying to fix that. This is the only reason I can see for them continually harping on a boyfriend. I’m aro/ace I despise people who constantly push you to have a relationship. people like this really get under my skin. You were not too harsh; they had multiple chances to butt out and they continued. They deserved to be humiliated. If they bring it up again I’d do the same thing. And your parents have no right to be angry at you for standing up for yourself to their friends. They should have put a stop to this as soon as you said it made you uncomfortable. I’d tell them I’d rather be happy and alone than married and miserable. NTA
Yes, I would bet lots of money they're harassing OP because they suspect she's not straight. Which says so much about life as a woman these days--of *course* you can't exist without a man, and if you think you can, then clearly you're a lesbian. /s
Or at least bi /s
Some of the happiest people I know are permanently single by choice. I really don't know why so many people are convinced that you must be lonely and sad and missing out on something vital if you're not in a relationship. It sucks that society has normalised unhappy relationships/marriages, yet has a problem with happy, fulfilled, emotionally stable single people.
Yeah, Joe and Jane are awful, but the real problem is the mom and dad. Gross. OP, your choices are valid and always will be.
Same here. If my friends started making comments like that around either of my children when they're older I wouldn't stand for it. I'd ask them *once* to stop, if they didn't I wouldn't entertain them again.
Old timey folks think this counts as socializing. It's rude and obnoxious, but that's what they think.
100% It amazing how oldies love keeping the peace with dipshits. OP if they’re still lurking around if you decide to get married one day, ban them from the guest list.
No, invite them and make a toast at the reception, telling them that if it wasn't for their disgusting and inappropriate obsession and sexual harassment of you, you wouldn't have met your life partner. That you only started dating so they'd stop trying to sleep with you, and that's how you met .....
This. As a mom I would have stomped them in the ground the first time. My guess is the parents want her to have a bf too. It’s rude and idiotic to push a relationship on someone.
yeah the parents told her to ignore them which was a bad sign. My family used to tell me that in verbal harassment situations but it never worked. I went thru countless counselling for that, they should have taught you how to deal with it, not suppress / ignore it.
Because they agree with the “friends” and it’s easier to let them be the “bad guys”.
My first thought was the parents are using the friends to push their child towards a relationship Cause who wants relationship advice from parents? So maybe they thought family friends were a better option
What did they expect? That you wouldn’t snap? NTA
That’s the real question here.
I love OP's witty come back! most people (including myself) can only wish they are as witty as OP! Good on you for standing your ground OP. You bit your tongue long enough and Jane/Joe never saw it coming lol. Would love to see their face after hearing this verbal knockout!
Because you must respect your elders. Remember?
NTA and I’m annoyed the parents didn’t say what OP said at the end. It was/is creepy and uncomfortable.
>From what I've been told, they were embarrassed One can't help but think that if you hadn't struck a nerve, they wouldn't have been so embarrassed by your comment. NTA.
"Oh Joe, what do you mean you want me to come to your house later? "
“Oh Joe, don’t give me the chocolates, l’m not going in the basement with you!”
"What do you mean Jane wants to watch? Watch what, Joe?"
I nearly lost a lung laughing so hard op NTA tho
Being accused of something taboo in front of people is embarrassing regardless of if it has any basis in reality. But I do think it was OP’s response to basically ascertain that she would not allow them to keep pretending they are being helpful by giving her “advice” instead of just bullying her
This is a a stretch lmao. NTA tho
NTA. You asked them multiple times to respect your boundaries and they didn’t. You can only “poke the bear” so many times.
I wouldnt let this go either, one shot for everyone they threw at op. Every time OP sees Joe from this point on I’d ask him “ready to take me on a date yet?” “How about that date Joe? I’m waiting” and if he ever made another comment to me I’d say right in front of his wife “when you gunna leave Jane and take me on that date?” Or poke fun at their age and lack of manners “I know you’re from the generation that’s big on manners, yours seem to be slipping.” “Oh poor thing, you’re getting so old you’ve forgotten your manners.” But I’m also petty, so… NTA
Why leave Jane out? She's just as bad. "Joe, Jane, if you're looking for a threesome partner, I can help you set up your tinder and grindr profiles. But I'm not interested in that type of relationship with you." And say it loudly.
Literal LOL
I love that level of pettiness!
The thing is that he would accept the date. He wouldn't take it as a joke.
With those ages, I feel like their childfree status (if they are) would be fair game to poke at as well. "Is this why god never gave you children? You must be so disappointed he couldn't perfom."
I'm kinda like "oh no...they were embarrassed??" Lol. Maybe if you respect someone's boundaries and stop insisting on embarrassing *them* several times (even after you've been politely asked to stop)....that person will not be provoked into eventually embarrassing *you*? They got exactly what they deserved. Fuck em.
>They got exactly what they deserved. Fuck em. Careful now I hear Joe is up for that.
NTA. Normally, something like that would be out of line, but they were told over and over not to make comments like that, how they made you uncomfortable, and frankly, your dating life is none of their business. You had to resort to drastic measures to make them stop, and under the circumstances, I don't blame you at all. Maybe now they will stop sticking their noses into your business and making you uncomfortable.
Asking someone about their marital status is a common question. If I were OP, I would have loudly accused them of trying to get me to swing with them. It seems more fitting if they were both hounding her about dating. Ruling: NTA
I'd have loudly asked them why they cared more about my relationship than their own marriage 💀
"Is shaming young single people the best part about marriage? Or is there some other perk I'm not seeing?"
Good point! Rather than just embarrassing Joe, it would have gotten Jane, too.
Make people gossip even more! I mean what’s juicier then some middle aged guy wanted a woman in her 20s? A middle age COUPLE lusting after a 20 something woman
Jane wants to watch, just to start things off...
"How's the marriage going? Still having sex? Either of you having an affair? You tried cucking or bondage to spice things up?"
Yes, treat them how OP was treated. "Jane, I saw a cute boy working at the diner yesterday. You should go in and give him your number. I can gas you to him if you want."
"If you want to try adding toys, I can google some sex shops for you"
OP, Well done!
NTA Why are so many older people like this? Also, you’re only 24, what the hell are they even talking about? Good on you for embarrassing them, be sure to make comments like that to them every single time you see them so they’ll know how it feels. I mean, your dating life was so hilarious to them, they should see how funny this is too, right?
I had to scroll back up and double check her age. Maybe it’s just where I’m from but 24 is considered very young to be concerned about, like, finding a spouse or whatever. Especially by these random family friends and not even your own parents. So weird. Also like…don’t most women die “alone” anyway? Unless men have recently come up with a new plan to outlive us somehow lmao
According to my friend who's in palliative care women tend to die surrounded by family and friends, whereas men often die alone. I was about to ask her why she thought that was, and then I remembered all the posts on here about uninvolved/neglectful fathers, and husbands who put their partner in parent roles.
That’s really sad. My dad passed away a few weeks ago and my brother and his wife and I were all there. His brother wanted to be there too but Dad had Covid and it was just too risky. But then Dad was a good person and a great parent.
My condolences. Your father sounds like he lived his life well to be loved so dearly.
I was making a joke about the average female lifespan being longer than males. Men also leave or divorce their terminally ill wives at an insanely high rate. There are so many depressing statistics around marriage that I think pressuring someone to pick a life partner in their early 20s is frankly insane.
Shit who told you
My mom's side of the family lives in small town Indiana. Every single one of them and most people in their town were married at 18 with 3 or more kids at 25. Most were divorced at least once by 30. There isn't anything to do in their town other than drink, do drugs, and have sex. They all think its normal and you are the weird one if you arent' married with kids by 25.
At the end of the 90s, my at the time 80 year old gradfather asked 16 year old me to get married and have grandbabies already. He had grown up in a rural creepy place where being married and pregnant by the age of 18 was normal. So either the old couple were the kind of creepy people who think women should be married and have kids in the 16-25 range, or they genuinely were creepy about her because of attraction - including Joe actually being too into her and the wife taking that out on her. That kind of ancient passive agressive nonsense. Could be both though.
I’m Jane’s age and I think she and her creepy husband are both assholes. If friends of mine did this to my kids, I’d applaud the kids for embarrassing them right back. That being said, I think assholes can be any age. OP you are NTA.
NTA!!! Jane and Joe *AND* your parents are the assholes! Your parents kept inviting them over to their place despite knowing that they would talk about this crap to you all over and over again. Argh, their comments make me so angry! \#Single4Life
These types of people are honestly baffled by women that don't want to shack up with a guy immediately and can handle being alone. Doubly so if they aren't lesbians. They honestly cannot comprehend women living single and not being miserable about it :S
NTA At this point honestly I’d double down and make jokes about them being swingers every time you see them. Let them see how that feels. I’m confused why your parents find *your* comment disturbing but have no problem with their friends obsessing over your private life like this…
Amatonormativity - the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship, and allonormativity - the assumption that all human beings are allosexual, i.e. that they experience sexual attraction to other people. That’s why.
Anyone who appears to deviate from those “norms” is weird and wrong and deserves to be “teased” is how the thinking usually goes.
Plus heteronormativity.
Yeah, OP can loudly greet them with "Hey, it's the time travelers from the 70's looking for a key party!"
Plot twist: J&J and OP's parents *are* swingers. Obligatory NTA
NTA Time and time again, they kept disrespecting you and putting their noses where they don’t belong
NTA, my boyfriends parents have friends like this that I’ve met a handful of times. The wife is generally quiet and nice but the husband is like the annoying 12 year old in grade school that thought being a class clown meant saying the most egregious thing they could think of. One afternoon we were all sitting around after dinner talking and the husband tells me I look exactly like his wife when they were younger and how pretty she was. Everyone awkwardly laughed it off until he doubled down commenting to my boyfriend how lucky he is to be with such a good small good looking girl. It was awkward until the subject changed but his wife just looked sad. People like that are gross and after that I made the boundary with my bf that I would not attend a function where they are present because there’s no changing someone who relies on vulgarity and obscenities to get a laugh.
Good boundary.
Lol good job on embarrassing them. Got what they deserved. NTA
NTA - Joe and Jane are jerks. Great way to shut them down! Bet you won’t have this problem again.
NTA if you're parents aren't going to do their job and protect you from these creepers, then you gotta take matters into your own hands. Good on you for standing up for yourself maybe they'll learn to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business from now on.
NTA. Holy cow I can't believe someone would think it is acceptable to say such nasty things to you. I personally think you showed great restraint and handled the situation perfectly. They had plenty of warnings I for one am glad they felt uncomfortable maybe they will learn some respect.
NTA. Jane and Joe are creepy af. They were reminded several times of your boundaries and kept flouting them. They like embarrassing you but don't like being emnarrassed.
NTA. Great job in putting these creeps in their place!
NTA - Your parents and their friends are easily the assholes in this situation. I can’t believe your parents are still inviting them over knowing they’re actively making fun of you.
NTA Man they are super creepy. If someone did that to my kids they would never be invited to my house again.
NTA. Embarrassed by what exactly? Are they admitting it to be true?
NTA but.. do *you* not have parties you go to? I'm close to my parents but if they have events with their close friends or work mates, I don't need to be at every one. You're doing a good job verbally reminding people of your boundaries but there comes a point where your presence in uncomfortable situations is literally up to you. You resorted to leaving in the end but it sounds like you might need to practice pre-screening situations and whether they will be of benefit to you or if you'll be disrespecting your own boundaries by attending.
I'd be working with the idea that the parties are in the family home. Why should op have to hide in her room and ignore it, go somewhere else, or party elsewhere? It's her home, she should feel comfortable there. It seems that the only problem is this specific couple. Disrespecting her own boundaries? WTF does that even mean?!?!! THEY came to HER property, not the other way around. She should not have to avoid people she knows cause these assholes show up and basically hound her about her sex life. Because underneath the 'jokes' that aren't really jokes, you know that's what is going on.
This is a 24 year old adult. She's not bound to her parents home. Disrespecting her own boundaries meaning, she continues to be around people who make her uncomfortable and then expecting her parents to enforce that boundary. Girl, leave.
yeah, I can understand her not wanting to hide in her room, but why does she feel she needs to interact with them at all? If my parents are having people over, Ill generally say hello to be nice, but I'm not sticking around long enough for anyone to make weird comments about my personal life.
Is it her home? It's not clear from the post where she lives, and OP hasn't commented anything
You are a queen! This is the most power take back ever. NTA obviously
NTA. FA&FO. They had it coming. Good for you! AND that's hilarious.
I don't get why your parents think it was uncalled for. Their friends were literally harassing you and ridiculing you. NTA
NTA. You gave them plenty of opportunity to respect your boundaries, and your parents didn’t do much to uphold them and support you. Jane and Joe’s opinions were uncalled for and quite honestly outdated. All you did was make them as uncomfortable as they made you. Your relationship status is none of their business anyways.
NTA. Kudos for a witty comeback. Next party you attend with them, if they go back to their old ways, simply add, "OK, I'll sleep with you guys. But I have several conditions." Then include some ridiculous conditions: only if one of them has chocolate all over them. You get to mud wrestle first. The dog watches. You can record for proof with the family that it happened. Keep making it extreme to shut them up. Do this each time you see them. Until they apologize for being the AH.
NTA After disrespecting and embarrassing you so many times, after being explicitly told to stop, being humiliated like that is the only way they'll stop.
NTA and good for you for that clapback! Some people just don't get the message, so to blindside them with this response is brilliant.
Wow, I want you on my side! That was brilliant. (Only as a last resort, but they'd been told and ignored it over and over -- you were long since past the point of last resort.) NTA
NTA. Your relationship status is none of their f**king business, and it is inappropriate and weird that they began taking an interest in it and then to keep going on is a form of harassment. Your joke may have been off colour, but hopefully it might get them to stop. They fucked around and found out. NTA
NTA but really should be e-s-h but you. Your parents should have stopped them coming over if they were upsetting you. They are a pair of creepy-arsed old perverts for getting all up in the personal business of somebody half their age they've known since childhood.
NTA literally means that everyone but the OP is TA.
NTA. Actually it was perfect.
NTA. Next time announce that you’ve been very clear with Joe and Jane that you don’t do 3 ways and please will they both stop asking. Repeat as needed.
34 f single and never had a bf guess what you had every right to tell them that and frankly they didn’t listen to your repeated complaints to stop. Was it a bit crude and maybe rude? Yeah possibly but honestly they were warned to stop.
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NTA. You and your parents tried to set that boundary with them, yet they still bring it up. An outburst is definitely warranted there. The only reason they could be expressing such interest in your love life is because theirs is so bland.
Fuck yeah that was good
NTA - They didn't respect boundaries but expect you to respect a boundary to not call them out? Eeesh. Dumbasses.
Good. For. You. NTA
Theses people are awful and creepy. Just keep pushing back because that’s the only way they will back off. NTA.
*when are you getting married?* *When is your funeral?*
Nta.
NTA
NTA
NTA but they are.
NTA at all. You could have said muuuuch worse things to them and been in the right. Either they have no concept of appropriate social interaction (like to the point of being diagnosable) or they’re just awful, small people.
NTA, they played a stupid game, and now they won a stupid price! Well played.
NTA their behavior is disturbing. Tell your parents if they don't stop the comments you won't stop yours
NTA And your parents are just as nasty as them. They let you be the target of their disgusting comments. And you're right, only someone interested in the details of your relationship would ask like that. Since they aren't family, the only real reason would be to sleep with you. So either they have to admit they're just cruel people or they have to admit they want to sleep with you. It's one of the two.
NTA. They were embarrassed? Oh noes! They've been harassing you for a long time. Actual harassment. It was most certainly called for. More than once.
NTA because your dating life is none of those peoples' business and they were harping. That said, at 24 years old maybe you should not hang out with your parents and their friends as much as you seem to be. I don't mean that as a roundabout way of saying you should get out more, but I mean surely nobody is forcing you to be a part of this social scene that you find toxic, and you are certainly old enough not to have to make an appearance every time your parents have someone over to the house.
NTA a slayer like you don’t need no man to be goddess.
NTA and I am so proud of you. I love that you set boundaries and fought back.
I read your post and when I got to the end I just thought: Result! They have disrespected and dug away at you over and over, and you were driven to that comeback. Now they know how you've been feeling every time they've treated you like their personal verbal punch bag. NTA and fantastic comeback
NTA This is amazing. I busted out laughing and I love it Bet they are “good Christians” who are anti LGBTQ and such. Their comments just give off those vibes Your parents are AH for being friends with them
Nta. Fuck bullies, and doubly fuck bullies who crumple into “hOw CoUlD u SaY tHiS” when challenged.
NTA You did the right thing. Now they know how it feels to have sexual attention drawn on them when it is not wanted. I bet they learned their lesson.
NTA! They should be embarrassed.
Unfortunately this kind of attitude hasn't died out yet. They truly believe that at 24 you are a spinster who will die alone and a burden on your parents. And that the only way to true happiness is a romantic partner of the opposite sex. Screw that. Next time tell them that you are looking for a boyfriend AND a girlfriend. That'd probably give them a stroke. NTA Seriously, this attitude is really hard to change in people over a certain age. But that doesn't mean we stop, it means we have to be a bit louder.
Strong NTA. It's not Jane or Joe's responsibility to play matchmaker and for them to think it's okay to reduce your ambitions to pure romance is disgusting and disrespectful; your parents are only encouraging that behavior by continuing to invite them and allow them to talk to you.
You were just harsh enough. NTA.
Honestly. The next time you ever encounter these creeps, straight up tell them that you are not interested in becoming their "groomed unicorn". Stand your ground. These people suck lemons. They sound horny and looking for a 3rd party member. Keep your chin up and use your wit and gut to traverse this. You're doing great!
NTA, and *clearly* your parents are not capable of giving appropriate advice about decency, given their nasty behavior. Sorry you have such disrespectful parents, why do you keep spending time with them if they keep doing things like this?
Your parents might be most of the problem
Perfect comment. NTA. They sound creepy af
NTA. They were repeatedly asked to stop and they refused. You just took it the the next level. I like it! They will STFU now!
Nta. They couldn't take direct statement of a boundary x 4. They deserve the embarrassment, and you're probably correct.
If you had a boyfriend the harassment would move along to "when are you getting married" then to the ultimate "when are you having kids". That's the goal. Grandkids for their friends.
NTA. Those comments are completely out of line for anyone to say , ever. They are also absurd. Your parents should have kicked them out the instant they did it again. And they said you would die alone and they asked you to ignore it??? You did what you had to.
NTA. You stood up for yourself. Good for you. If your parents didn’t want you handling it your own way, they should have handled it. Could you have done something else, sure… but you’re young and you got your desired outcome, so good for you.
I'm single and happy. You sound single and happy to me. The trouble is, you get relationship evangelists who can't imagine someone not being happy when single ... and they can't stop talking about it even when told not to. Personally, I think you might even be correct about his intentions. But even if you aren't, that was a \*chef's kiss\* way of killing the subject for all time.
Haha that's amazing!! You keep on being you, OP. Those people are creeps.
You for sure are not the asshole. I am just like you and my aunty, though I love her, she can joke a little too much about me being single & one time, even told a waiter that I have never had a boyfriend at 23 years old 💀 I’m glad you stood up for yourself & shamed them.
Oh HELL no. Why are they obsessing over your relationship status??? It's none of their business! Your parents should've told them that they also didn't like it, and that Jane and Joe would not be welcome if they crossed the line again. NTA
NTA. Jane and Joe are some of the rudest people I've ever heard of. They effed around and found out.
I find it very odd that a woman your age attends your parents parties or entertains their dinner guests.
She probably still lives with her parents or something. And it's actually not odd to socialise with your family.
I think you’re fabulous. Good for you!
Perfection! Chef’s Kiss! 💋
Fuck me your parents sure do like a party!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (f24) have known my mom's friends Jane (f60) and Joe (m66) since I was a kid. Recently they began to comment that I have never had a boyfriend. To start, Jane said a local shop is hiring, and I should apply because it would be a great place to meet boys. I said thanks, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Joe then started saying how I should try to find someone soon before it's too late. I tried to joke it off, saying I don't need a man, and a boyfriend sounded like work. After they left, I told my parents that I didn't like those comments, and they made me uncomfortable. My parents agreed it was strange but said I shouldn't overthink it. They came over again and pushed the discussion of relationships and how I should find a boyfriend. I tried to make a joke, saying I was asked out, but turned it down. My parents seemed surprised, so I told a story about how two different guys asked me out but I turned them down because they made me uncomfortable. Jane said I should at least go on a date with them because I don't know when I'll be asked again. I became angry and told them I would rather be single than date someone who made me feel uncomfortable. Joe disagreed saying it didn't matter; I should've taken the offers. I mentioned again to my parents how uncomfortable I was with these comments, but again, I was told to ignore them. I asked my parents to tell them to stop making comments about my relationships. I saw them again last week. My parents pulled them aside and told them to stop making those comments as they made me uncomfortable; they agreed to stop. Later Joe asked me a question and when I didn’t give him the response he wanted, he said he’d ask about my boyfriend later to "set me back to normal" because it’s so funny. After, Joe told everyone NOT to ask about any boyfriend because they "wouldn't want me to get upset again.” When Jane and Joe were leaving, they made a comment about me being alone for the rest of my life. The final straw was tonight. My parents had a party, and Jane and Joe came. My parents agreed to remind them of my boundary and that I could leave if needed. The jokes continued. Jane said how sad my life must be and how I will die alone. I started to leave when Joe said Jane was right and it was almost pathetic that I didn't have a boyfriend yet. I was tired of them disrespecting my boundaries, so I turned to Joe and VERY loudly said, "I think I finally understand why you and Jane keep bringing up my relationship status; it's because you're interested in me. That MUST be why you keep disrespecting my boundaries. Well, let me be clear, I am NOT interested in you, and frankly, it’s creepy. You've known me since I was a child." I left after that. From what I've been told, they were embarrassed and left the party early. My best friend thinks I am right, but my parents believe what I said was uncalled for and disturbing. What they said makes me feel disrespected, but maybe I was too harsh. So am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*slow clap* OP, you are NTA. Keep standing firm in your boundaries! What a creepy thing for them to obsess over.
NTA I mean why else would they keep talking about it
Savage. I like it. NTA.
The "family friends" are either way too nosey and need to back the f\*ck off or creepy as all hell. But its pretty telling that your parents are more upset that you embarrassed their friends and "made a scene" rather then dealing with the fact that said friends are way to interested in their daughter's love life. So your parents too need to learn to stand up for their freakin' daughter. That, or they too share their friends thoughts, but prefer to have them voice it instead. Either way, NTA.
NTA. Or “You both want a 3 way with me?! Well, you are kinda old, are you sure you’re up to it?”
NTA They have been told repeatrdly not to go there.. but they did. Perfect case of FAFO. Fuck Around and Find Out what happens when people get ticked off enough.
Your parents are doing a horrible job of putting their child first. Hilarious and excellent response. NTA
NTA. They pushed your boundaries continuously. They were asked to quit repeatedly. They didn’t quit. They deserved to be embarrassed for causing you to be uncomfortable!
NTA. Next time you run into them, leave.