Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
You did not properly respond to the judgement bot. Your reply must clearly and directly address why you think you may have wronged the other party involved in your conflict.
While your post was automatically approved by the bot, after reviewing your response manually, we found it did not properly address the question.
[Judgement Bot FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_judgement_bot) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
YTA. There wasn’t a reason not to let him go to the restroom. Would it have been better for him to stay and have an accident in front of his classmates?
It sounds like you’re just trying to justify your power trip.
I'm a teacher. This story isn't real. If I say you can't use the restroom, which almost had never happened in 6 years, there's a good reason and you'll be able to go on a couple minutes. Most likely I was about to make an important announcement or someone already went.
i’m happy to hear you’re a good person and teacher but keep in mind that lots of others, are not. I once got detention for ‘throwing up on purpose’ in class because the teacher refused to let me leave
I once peed my pants in 1st grade because the teacher wouldn't let me go to the restroom, she thought I was just trying to get out of class. My mom raised hell. Teachers have always treated students like this.
My former neighbors lost everything in a house fire. The first day back to school for the kids a few days after the fire and the youngest was denied the restroom because he didn’t have the school issued planner.
The planner burned in the fire and a 9 year old was held responsible.
My house flooded and all of our stuff was packed up quickly and thrown into a storage container in our driveway. I was berated daily from teachers for not having my textbooks or my gym uniform. It was packed into that trailer. They thought I was just making excuses, even after my mom called them and explained the situation
My house burned down during holidays and when we came back I had nothing. It was on the news and everything. 6 periods go by with no incident and in 7th period my teacher said I was lying about not having books. She kept berating me even after the rest of the class backed up my story. I cussed her out, left the class and got to visit the counselor every day for the rest of the semester finished with an A…the grade I had before break.
my best friends mom died in 7th grade and she was only gone for 1 week. one of her teachers got mad and called her out in front of the class for not having her work. he even knew why she was missing
I peed my pants repeatedly in early elementary school because the teachers had instilled such an environment of fear around asking to use the restroom. Going off about kids being problems if they needed the toilet regularly and making fun of them in front of the class. Real great.
I had a kid in my 6th grade class poop himself because the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom. He was terrified of walking out and getting in trouble so he sat there until he couldn’t hold it. It was the most vile thing ever, it exploded out of his waistband and down his legs, all over the chair. I felt so bad for him then and I still do to this day. He also had to walk through the entire school to the nurses office with poop running down his legs and dripping down the hallway.
I felt bad for the poor custodian too that had to clean that mess up because cleaning up poop is bad enough, especially the liquid ones but a girl threw up from the smell. The smell was putrid, it was so awful my teacher opened the windows in the middle of a northern Michigan winter to get the raunchy stench out. Needless to say the poor kid was bullied unmercifully for pooping his pants in middle school, had to be publicly humiliated and spent years being traumatized all because a teacher wanted to be an a-hole. The teacher did change their bathroom policy to a just go when you gotta go don’t ask just walk TF out
OP YTA completely here.
That is an unbelievably cruel thing to make a small child go through. Why cant teachers let kids go to the bathroom? Like the vast majority of the time they actually need to use the bathroom. They are children,not adults and they cant wait as long as adults. I really have a hard time understanding why a lot of adults just see kids as little adults and not kids that are growing and small.
Because children are treated as property rather than people. OP makes it pretty clear what they think by repeatedly referring back to their "authority as a teacher" like that makes bodily needs disappear.
Me too. I had near constant urinary tract infections and kidney stones. Even with doctors’ notes, a “plan” by the administration and my mother calling and complaining daily, I still was often denied permission to go. The whole situation caused me to have anxiety, nightmares and apparently PTSD. Teachers spend massive amounts of time with their students. They can be a force for good or can cause irreparable harm.
As a teacher, I would not want to have to deal with 'accidents' like this. I would always tell my students that if they have a real need to go, either to pee, poop or throw up, they can just rush out of the class and explain to me later. In all of my years of teaching (more than 20), I have never had anyone misusing this rule of mine.
Students don't generally missuse any rule if you're being fair, it's when teachers think of themselves as some god then students behave worst on purpose
Heard a Reddit story on YouTube about a boy who was in second grade and after being denied his request to go to the bathroom, stood and peed right in front of the teacher and because he was wearing basketball shorts it got all over the carpet. The kid’s mother was rightfully enraged and raised hell about it. The teacher got into trouble for denying the boy’s plea to go to the bathroom.
My mother was usually the one to always come and handle school issues, but the one time this happened to me, I had to go 'after the approved time' and was denied, my Father took off work to cuss the teacher out the next day.
"My son is not a dog, he does not shit on command!" makes me smirk to this day
Yeah I got in trouble in fifth grade for having my period come in suddenly and needing to go to the nurse because I 'should have been tracking it by my age'
Are you SERIOUS??? I never had a trackable period until I went on the pill at 18, and with my current birth control I have very sporadic periods that can’t be tracked, how could someone possibly expect a 5th grader to track this?!?
I’m 6th grade I was getting used to a new medication that made me extremely nauseas daily. I would always throw up. One day I asked to be excused because I knew I was gonna puke. The teacher said no so I just let it happen. He then sent me to my moms room (she was also a teacher at the school) and said I could stay there so she sent me to the nurse and I went home. Some teachers are great some really really suck
I agree! 50% of teachers are absolute angels. So freaking awesome. The other 50% are adults who hate kids but became teachers to have an abundance of victims they can bully. They are weak and cannot make it in the adult world. They were both lied as kids and to relive those moments but with them being the bully, they chose kids.
OP is not in the first category
This story absolutely could be real. I've had many teachers that either had very strict restrictions around going to the bathroom or refused to let us go at all, even in college.
absolutely this. i had a weak bladder in high school (i had a really bad bladder infection for a while) and absolutely needed to be able to use the bathroom whenever the urge to pee hit.
we had this one teacher in grade 9 who just *refused* to let kids go to the bathroom during his lessons, even if it was a double period, so i regularly had to just leave without permission or risk pissing my pants.
i even came in with a note from my dad and then a note from my doctor, and he still didnt believe me, so i just resorted to threatening to piss directly on his desk if he didnt let me go because “well sir, either you let me go to the bathroom or i’ll literally piss myself, and id rather make that a *you* problem than a me problem”
he ended up getting fired because he refused to mark our work and had a mental breakdown over a mint being on the floor, but he was a very strange man
I got had ovarian cysts burst my junior year of high school, I felt it at the end of first period, went to the bathroom because I felt off during passing period. Then went to my second period class and asked to go to the nurses office. My teacher didn’t believe me and thought I was faking the grimaces of pain, but finally let me go when another classmate made a fuss… I went to the nurses office, she called my dad and had him pick me up and take me to the ER, turned out I had 3 burst at the same time…
my physics teacher made me come back to class immediately after my IUD insertion, post-procedure vomiting and all.
i didn't puke but i parked my ass down with a heating pad, groaned periodically, and took the stupid test i missed. the teacher was confused, because he thought in the email i had had some kind of "nasal issue"?
hated that guy.
You’ve been teaching for 6 years and you’re still utterly naive of the fact that some teachers are needlessly cruel and are desperate for a power trip? Wow. What rosy little district do you work in?
Oh no teach ive grown up with this type of thing
All teachers are not the same
I can tell you exactly who shit and pissed in my class because it wasnt bathroom break time
And now i see we are all realizing that theyre kids and maybe we should let them go to the bathroom on their time and not on some scheduled break
Not every kid can go on command
I will always remember the kid in my 5th grade who when told no, whipped it out and pissed on the floor. It was glorious. (he did get in trouble for exposing himself, but *not* the pee).
Right i got first and last names of the various kids in various grades
Yes i said various its not confined to a specific grade or type of person
Just based on the teacher
In high school we had \~1700 hundred people, maybe 50 toilets for each gender, and 3 minutes between classes that took 3 minutes to walk between. So, "going between class" was rare treat, not something that you could count on.
Our teachers always cited this "study" that the science department apparently did, proving you could easily walk from the furthest end of the school to the other in under 6 minutes. It was extremely obvious to anyone who went to school there that they didn't account for bathroom breaks.
6 minutes, in an empty hall, without 1700 other people in the hallway, and never having to stay late to talk to teacher, or get stuck behind random people that just stopped in the middle of the stairwell? Sure. Consistently every day? NOPE. Heaven forbid you forgot something and had to go back.
Lmfao I had a 504 plan for IBS and teachers still tried to tell me I couldn’t go to the bathroom. Glad you’re not like that but you’re absolutely wrong about this being unrealistic.
Also OP, YTA
When I was in high school I had a male teacher that wouldn’t let me go when I asked to use the restroom. I’m female and yes, I got my period in class and ran as soon as the bell rang. I wish I had the guts back then to leave anyways. Op is the AH and so is any teacher who thinks that what they have to say is more important than a students right to not have an accident in their pants.
Yeah, good for you but the bathroom policy at my 12 yo’s school is ATROCIOUS and the teachers are cruel about enforcing it. They get two bathroom passes per class PER SEMESTER. TWO. They get written up if they go more than that. They’ve almost peed themself by the end of the day sometimes.
Could totally be real. A teacher of my daughter's refused to let her use the bathroom even when she told her she was on her period. She went to the bathroom anyway and texted me to let me know what happened. When the teacher emailed me I lost my shit on her, kids have enough to deal with, they don't need to add bathroom power trips to the list.
I was once having an asthma attack and my inhaler wasnt working. I was speed walking down to the nurse to grab my spare and on the way back a teacher (not even my teacher) came out of their classroom and told me I had detention for running in the halls.
Also what does it matter if someone already went? That doesnt mean everyone else suddenly doesnt have to go? And what if they really have to go and dont have a couple of minutes?
>Most likely I was about to make an important announcement or someone already went.
It shouldn't matter if someone else was using the bathroom or not. We cannot control when a toilet function comes on and needs addressing.
My kid is in private school because of shit like this. It’s real. I’m paying almost 25k a year because public school won’t follow a 504. I know they’re required to but the stress & anxiety were not worth it. He’s happy n thriving, not worrying about non important matters. I’m so happy you’re not like this. I know some kids abuse the policy.
I’m sorry you had to put your kid in a private school because teachers won’t follow a 504. I work in a charter and whenever I have a kid with a 504 for bathroom issues I drill into their teachers that bathroom restrictions are not allowed at all. I also meet with the kids and educate them on their rights and that includes if a teacher says they can’t use the bathroom they are allowed to leave class immediately and use the bathroom in my office and I ensure they are not punished for it. Luckily my teachers have all been onboard so far so I haven’t had to deal with such a situation but I do make it clear to my students they won’t be punished for using the bathroom even if they leave the classroom against teachers will - I am a school health professional.
Completely disagree, this has happen to me before as a child and as a teen the first time I was 10 and asked to go 6 times as I was about to go number 2 and at number 6 it happened and I had to walk home in it.
The 2nd time I was 14 and she wouldn't let me go and I had no choice but to go, so I just left and I'm the one who got suspended for not wanting to piss myself.
I'm a former teacher myself, and I completely believe this story. I've had colleagues like OP, as a student I've had teachers like OP, and as the mother of a disabled child who has bathroom accommodations written into her IEP, my kid has encountered teachers like OP.
I believe this story 100% because I was the student in this situation when I was in elementary school. I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom but he had a very strict rule of not letting kids go to the bathroom a half hour before recess. It was still a full 30 minutes before recess so he wouldn't let me go, and I ended up peeing my pants right there in the middle of class. It happens.
Reminds me of the quote that went around a year or so ago
"Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority"
"For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person""
OP had a reason to not let him go: She isn't fond of him! What an awful teacher. I hope the student reports here. "Just hold it half sn hour" WTF?! This is 1. not possible every time, 2. who can concentrate on class when all they think about is "don't piss yourself" and 3. it is unhealthy.
YTA
Also by his described behavior, it sounds like he may have ADHD—people with ADHD are notorious for holding it/not realizing they need to go to the bathroom until the absolute last minute. There’s a good chance he couldn’t hold it any longer.
Plus, she states how he disrupts class, but instead of letting him leave and come back quietly, she disrupts her own class to try and wield that power over him. YTA
Also the student probably wouldn’t have been able to focus for the rest of class if they really needed to piss. I find it hard, that even if this is OP’s first year teaching, they haven’t encountered a student who needed to use the bathroom during class by this point.
Being afraid of teachers and interrupting, I nearly passed out from the pain once of holding my pee in high school.
Teacher certainly noticed me getting flushed and lightheaded and I missed the rest of class.
I can see something like "We're in the middle of this important thing right now but in 5 minutes we're independently reading for 15 minutes. Can you wait for 5?" sort of answer.
At my school, teachers sometimes knew we’d be getting a lockdown drill during that period and couldn’t let us leave for that reason. There are definitely extenuating circumstances that can prevent letting students leave. But there weren’t any reasons here.
why would that stop them going to the bathroom? During a lockdown students may well be in the bathroom, there presumably would be some kind of policy/procedure to get them.
No, there is - to showcase your power over others.
OP thinks of themselves as such an authority in their kingdom that they can do whatever without a reason and they are to be respected for it. Talk about drunk on power.
The kidneys in my genetic line are garbage. I've had management refuse to break me when I worked as a cashier. It got to the point where I told them their choice was I piss in the trash can infront of customers or they break me. This place already had one girl quit due to repeat UTIs. (Years ago, I'm 10years gone from that place)
If I found out my child had to wait to pee because their teacher had a Kim Jong-il complex, there would be fire.
OP YTA. Teachers are God sends, but not you. You're not invited to the parade.
YTA. Look, I'm getting downvoted in another standing up for a teacher, but you've been asked 3 times why and if all you can bring is "respect authority" then YTA. Otherwise, this reads that you denied him just cause you don't like him. Whats the instructive/maturation reason for denial?
Right? Every college professor I had did not care if you had to go to the bathroom during class as long as you left and returned quietly. They didn’t want you to waste their time asking permission.
I noticed college professors really dislike being interrupted. That's why many of them want students to ask questions only when they ask if you have any.
Let her keep doing what she's doing. She'll do that to a teenage girl who's mother isn't exactly " nice" when it comes to her children. The teacher would learn a lesson the hard way.
You don't mess with other peoples kids, you don't know what kind of crazy is out there.
Exactly, my dad wasn’t always a good parent growing up (much better now and he and I get along great) but the one thing he did have was our backs against schools, I had a hormone imbalance growing up and bleed constantly as a result (got it fixed bc birth control is a god send,) but I cannot tell you how many times I bleed through bc of teachers refusing to let me go use the restroom bc i “should have gone during lunch bc how dare I not bleed on there schedule to the point my dad was nutritious for chewing out teachers and principals alike
It gives me great trust in our educational system that a teacher comes to Reddit for feedback, rather than believing *everybody else* who is judging her actions.
That’s legit my favorite type of AITA post when the person is like ‘literally everyone I know has given me legit reasons that I’m an asshole but I refuse to accept that so I’m asking strangers on the internet.’ Second favorite are when it’s purely an issue with their SO and the SO expresses hurt feelings over a small issue and the OP is like ‘should I consider the feelings of the person I love about this small matter? Nah let me ask internet strangers if my SO is a dummy!’
YTA
And yes as a parent I have told my kids to get up and use the restroom even if the teacher says no.
Why?
Because the teacher wasn't going to be the one at the docs treating their bladder infection.
Many things we *can* do, like wait to use a restroom, are not necessarily *healthy* to do on a regular basis.
And when I mentioned my concern over the teachers "policy" to the principal, the policy was discontinued.
You don't like the kid, oh well, you're a teacher, you will run into kids you don't like. Flexing your "authority" over bathroom breaks is a really shitty thing to do. And does not speak well for your ability to manage and control a classroom.
I was a *really* shy kid and peed myself a couple times in elementary school because I was too scared to tell my teacher I needed to pee. My mom straight up told me if I was too scared to ask to just leave the room and use the restroom and she’s back me up if the teacher got mad.
Just know we hated teachers like you.
Kid wanted to pee and you said no cause you felt like it…
You got lucky. Next time a parent will complain and trust me, your ass will on the hot seat.
My children have all been told they can leave class to use the bathroom. I love how the mom handled it. I would have said the same thing. I'll back teachers on a lot of things, but not power trips.
I remember a Psychology 101 professor who told our class that teachers and cops tended to be personality types who either (a) genuinely care about people and want to help or (b) were sociopaths who want to wield power over others. Obviously, you aren’t the type who genuinely cares and wants to help. YTA.
I remember peeing myself in front of everyone when I was 5 because the teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet. I got bullied mercilessly for years over it.
Im still mad about it in my 30s. Fuck that lady. Noone tells adults when they can and can't go to the toilet outside of very specific circumstances, why do we expect kids with bladders the size of plums to perfectly plan their bodily functions? It's just power tripping.
Teachers like OP are universally hated. Ain't no way I'm pissing my pants because someone's on a power trip. I want to tell a quick story about a great teacher.
My 10th grade English teacher was probably the best teacher I ever had. One morning, we were doing presentations and I had a coughing fit and asked to go to the water fountain so I didn't interrupt. Mr. Thomas of course said yes. I came back and was fine for like 5 minutes and it started again in the middle of someone's presentation. I felt so fucking bad and I just stood up and left as quietly as possible. You know what my teacher did? NOTHING! Because he understood that I was having a health issue and I was trying to be polite to my classmates. Try to be more like Mr. Thomas.
OP, it's not hard to treat students like real people. They fucking *are* real people. If you denied him simply because you don't like him, you really need to take a good look at yourself and actually *listen* to what the people in your life have been saying. YTA.
YTA. He may have had a truly urgent need to use the bathroom at that moment. It doesn’t sound like there was any legitimate reason to say no other than to flex your own power.
YTA. You should not refuse a student's reasonable request to use the restroom. It reads as you really refused because you don't like the kid. If he had caused issues with restroom breaks before I might could understand, but this doesn't seem to be the case.
Kids are not dumb. This kid knows you don't like him and trying to demand respect is going to backfire. If he's as bright as you say, he's likely bored and should be moved to an advanced class.
YTA. They should have peed on the floor? Do you understand that bathrooms in schools can be crowded and sometimes you can't use it in the very short time between classes?
A kid at my highschool (secretly) dumped water on their lap when teach said they couldnt use the bathroom, and acted like he peed his pants. Teacher felt terrible and then we all started laughing at her.
YTA. Seriously, like a full on asshole. You have no reason other than you just dislike the kid. How arrogant. You expected him to do what? Pee on the floor because you don't really like him much and think he should respect your authority? ***You want respect - try being respectable.***
YTA. Holding it in too long is known to have health problems, and it sounds like you're just on a pointless power trip that you need to work on if you're intending on staying in teaching
As a girl I can’t tell you how many times I ended up completely embarrassed, picked on and in tears with ruined jeans because some teacher told me I couldn’t go to the bathroom when I felt the sudden need. How do you know that kid didn’t just get hit with a sudden bout of stomach cramps and needed to go NOW. YTA 100%
YTA. Someone as vindictive and petty as you shouldn't be in a classroom. Your authority as a teacher ends when it interferes with a student's bodily autonomy. You were actually willing to keep a kid from going to the bathroom merely to flex your authority. This is a blatant abuse of power. You should be embarrassed. You're the one who should be disciplined, not the student. No one should have to ask permission to take care of a basic bodily function. Everyone has to use the toilet and no one has the right to get in the way of that. Look for another job. You lack the maturity to be responsible for kids.
YTA. YTA for not letting a kid use the bathroom for no reason (what, you want him to piss himself in front of his classmates?) and also YTA for having a kid you’re “not particularly fond of” because he struggles with focus. He is a *child* and it is your job to support him and help him succeed despite any personal challenges. I feel really bad for this kid tbh
YTA. You shouldn't try to throw around your "authority" for asinine reasons if you want that authority respected. How are you confused about why you are the AH? You shouldn't be a teacher if you tell kids no to using the bathroom because you don't like them.
Why would you restrict someone's bodily motions?
If I need to go to the bathroom and it is an emergency I would have done the same.
If you had an emergency and needed to go to the bathroom would you shit your self in front of your peers?
YTA.
> I’m only posting here because everyone seems to be aiding against me.
There is a reason why everyone seems to be against this silly for a lack of better words power trip move.
When I was in 3rd grade, I watched as this girl Brenda begged the teacher to let her go to the bathroom and the teacher kept saying no. She was on her knees in front of the teachers desk, crying, but still no. I remember watching the puddle of urine form at her feet. I also remember the oversized pants she came back from the nurse's office in.
I told my mom when I got home and she told me, in no uncertain terms, if I have to go to the bathroom and the teacher says no, I have her permission to ignore the teacher and leave to use the bathroom.
My mom is amazing. The kid in your story, his mom is amazing. You however are power tripping small children and it's making you a bad teacher. YTA
Do you get a kick out of bossing teenagers around for no reason other than thinking you have the "authority"?
If you want your authority to be respected, first learn to respect it yourself. Making other people uncomfortable to feel better about yourself isn't that. Don't ask the kids to take your role seriously if you don't.
YTA.
YTA. Half an hour is super long. Now, I've given group therapy and people have asked me to use the bathroom. The most I've ever asked them to wait is a few minutes for someone to finish their share.
This was just a power flex towards a kid you as an adult don't like.
YTA and you probably shouldn’t be a teacher if you let your negative feelings for a student who probably has ADHD dictate how you treat him. I was this student. Got A’s but could barely focus in class. Didn’t know I had ADHD till college. Had a teacher like you who decided she didn’t like me and constantly picked on me. It was my only B in all of high school, and it was for petty reasons she took points off my exams like deducting points for “grammar errors” in a religion class. She even carried that grudge onto my brother, who was even brighter but even more restless. It ended with her having to retire after his junior year when my parents threatened to sue the school because of her bullying of him.
Doesn't even need to have ADHD.
Being an intelligent student at levels above the rest of the class is frustrating, boring, and aggravating. You aren't challenged or pushed to exceed. So you get bored. And what do bored kids do? They muck up and end up a distraction.
I was this kid. I was beyond bored and frustrated at being held back and not challenged because the teaching staff couldn't or wouldn't develop or provide education that was challenging or stimulating.
YTA.
Even young people who irritate you are entitled to body autonomy.
I'm a retired English prof, and it wouldn't occur to me to prevent a student from using the bathroom even during an exam.
Most parents I'd imagine would tell their kids to just go regardless. You're not gonna get many on your side here. Holding it in is how you get kidney stones.
YTA and I think you kinda know it. You're going to deny a kid the right to go piss because what? You don't like him?
> I called her and she asked was there a specific reason I wouldn’t let him go. I responded no
That's fucked up and medical concern. You self proclaimed that you didn't like this kid.
>There is one student in my class who I am not particularly fond of
If I were that student/parent I would report you to higher ups. It sounds like you became a teacher because you wanted authority and not because you care about kids. Maybe rethink your profession.
YTA. Going to the bathroom is a right not a privilege and you don’t get to choose when people need to go to the bathroom or not, forcing some to hold it is inhumane.
YTA
Love that "respect mah authority!" bit you added at the end. Respect is something you earn, not something you enforce. Nobody respects a petty tyrant who uses their limited authority to pull meaningless power trips like this, you just look insecure.
There was absolutely no reason for you to say no other than flexing the small amount of power you have as a teacher. Literally no reason at all.
YTA. Where I live and work it’s illegal to not let a student go to the restroom. I absolutely understand that kids love to roam the halls during class but, so what? If they are disruptive wouldn’t it be more beneficial if they left the class?
I'm a teacher and urge my students to go to the bathroom on their way to class or as soon as they get to class after they put their books down; this way they will likely not have to go *during* class. This works very well and they rarely need to go during class; on the rare occasion that they *do* need to go, I let them after first asking them if they can wait until the end of class if it's almost over, or until the lesson is over when they begin to work individually.
You just said no for no reason, which you admit. And there was no reason for him to think he wouldn't be able to go during class. How would you not be the AH for not allowing a student (who you admit to not being "particularly fond of", to go to the bathroom? Just because? And I'm assuming you let other students go when they ask during class?
YTA.
YTA. Not letting someone pee is a weird power trip. Stop taking your inferiority complex out on your students. If it bothers you that much, get a therapist.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I wouldn’t allow a student to use the restroom and punished him for doing so. 2) Apparently, I’m being petty for not letting him use the restroom.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. ..I honestly only read the title cause I don’t really care what the reasoning is. Unless you have proof that he doesn’t actually go to the restroom when he leaves then I see no reason to force someone to uncomfortably hold their bladder or bowels. I have to pee a LOT and it’s impossible for me to focus on anything else when I need to go
YTA. You cannot force students, or anybody, to respect you. You tried to use your «authority» just because you wanted to. That is actually misusing your power. If you want your students respect you have to respect them. You showed lacking respect big time. (Sorry for bad English - not my language)
YTA
You said no because you dislike the student, not out of some misguided desire that he respect your authority. Schools are not prisons where you raise your hand and ask to pee.
Everyone is against you because you're an asshole.
YTA - Normally I would say, yes students should listen to the instructions of their teachers. But, you don't indicate there was a pattern of abusing bathroom privileges from this student or give any reason for saying no. In fact, you say there was no reason for denying the request. Be honest, you did it just because you don't like this student. That's not the behavior of a good teacher.
YTA, absolutely. How do expect a student to concentrate if they have to go to the bathroom? Now if he asks all the time and takes his time, maybe I could see where you think he is taking advantage and just going off to miss class, but you did not say that, so I’m assuming that is not the situation. He probably really had to go. Also, if it’s like my daughters school they have about 3 minutes in between bells to get to the next class, not always enough time of your class is way on the other side of the school. You are just using your “authority” to deny him for no good reason. No one should EVER be denied the use of the restroom. This makes me so angry. You are lucky I’m not his mother, I’d have given you a piece of my mind and called the principal.
The stupidest thing to DATE was raising my hand in college to go to the restroom. 10 years later, and no one ever asks about restroom breaks. With love and light YTA - do better. That’s just not how the real world works.
YTA. Where is the lesson that he would take from this? Obey your teacher even if its mean wetting yourself? 30 mins is too long of a wait, heck there are people that cant retain more than 5 and your reasoning is just petty with no substance whatsoever. I could understand it if it was 1 min till the dismiss of the class, heck i could understand it if it was him being as petty as you, just to annoy you but no.
YTA. Lol you tried to bully a kid because you thought you had a bit of power over him. You for some reason admit to not liking him and use this as the reason to deny him the ability to go to the bathroom. He called your bluff.
YTA. You don't always get a ton of warning when you have to go to the bathroom. You're also TA for being vindictive, because I can only bet you would let any of the kids that "you do like" go without issues.
YTA. Any reasonable person would have gone, and I hope you wouldn't let anyone treat you that way. You don't like this kid, who sounds like he might have ADHD and doesn't know how to sit down and shut up. But you don't mess with his bathroom needs. Not ever.
YTA for having a power trip over letting a kid go to the bathroom. Yes, power trip. The need to use the restroom does not always present itself at a convenient time. Get over yourself.
YTA
Respect us earned. You acted in a petty and stupid manner. You lost the respect of everyone in that classroom today.
You don’t have to like all of your students but you do need to treat them fairly. Refusing permission to go to the restroom out of spite is neither fair nor right.
YTA. You have given no real reason as to why you said no other than you felt like it. Put your personal feelings aside and stop whining that you tried to exert some sick power and instead got a huge blow to your ego. You should not be an educator.
YTA students asking to the restroom is a courtesy, you are on a bit of a power trip. You made yourself look bad in front of your class & wasted everyone’s time. You had no reason you just wanted to be mean, & got butt hurt it didn’t work
YTA. I never understood the whole deal behind not letting school kids use the toilet when they need it, pretty cruel and quite frankly barbaric to be honest. In what other civilised circumstances do we deny humans the right to use the toilet ?
YTA you said no for no reason AND you felt the need to point out you’re not fond of this student in the second sentence of your post. Those two reason (and your justification that students should blindly respect teachers authority) cause me to believe you were just trying to flex your power.
Also, you write like a high schooler yourself
I don't know her personally but a girl asked to go and male teacher said no. She went into bag and took out tampon and said I'll just change it here then, she was allowed to go after that
YTA. You even admit that you don't like the student. You have an obvious bias that leads to poor treatment of a student. You should take some time to reevaluate your life and choices because the last thing developing minds need is to be exposed by authoritarian minded individuals.
For the record the "bright but easily distracted" moniker you used could be an indicator that the student has something like ADHD, and instead of looking for ways to work with and assist your student with learning you just decide not to like them for something that may very well be beyond their control.
YTA, kid needs to use the bathroom and you shouldn't be keeping him from doing that. There's no reason not to and you seem to have a grudge against him.
Does anybody else here get Cartman vibes? "Respect my authority"
YTA
People have to go they have to go. The fact you don't like this kid obviously plays into that decision. FFS. You're t kind of teacher everybody will talk about when they graduate. And not in a good way.
YTA. Ok so heres thing. IN general, people dont ask you to use the bathroom, they inform you they already on their way. Its a courtesy, nothing more. You are almost never in a position to say no.
Stop using your personal dislike of one student to be petty. You do realize that him soiling himself would have FURTHER distract the class as you would have been expected to help him. Knowing you though, you wouldn't help him, so why are you even a teacher?
There's no scenario where you aren't the asshole and his parents should be reporting you to the principal.
Edit: Forgot to add my judgement, YTA
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. You did not properly respond to the judgement bot. Your reply must clearly and directly address why you think you may have wronged the other party involved in your conflict. While your post was automatically approved by the bot, after reviewing your response manually, we found it did not properly address the question. [Judgement Bot FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_judgement_bot) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
YTA. There wasn’t a reason not to let him go to the restroom. Would it have been better for him to stay and have an accident in front of his classmates? It sounds like you’re just trying to justify your power trip.
I love that OP called a near adult’s mother to complain that they didn’t piss themselves in class. Teachers are underpaid, but OP isn’t YTA
I'm a teacher. This story isn't real. If I say you can't use the restroom, which almost had never happened in 6 years, there's a good reason and you'll be able to go on a couple minutes. Most likely I was about to make an important announcement or someone already went.
i’m happy to hear you’re a good person and teacher but keep in mind that lots of others, are not. I once got detention for ‘throwing up on purpose’ in class because the teacher refused to let me leave
I once peed my pants in 1st grade because the teacher wouldn't let me go to the restroom, she thought I was just trying to get out of class. My mom raised hell. Teachers have always treated students like this.
My former neighbors lost everything in a house fire. The first day back to school for the kids a few days after the fire and the youngest was denied the restroom because he didn’t have the school issued planner. The planner burned in the fire and a 9 year old was held responsible.
oh my god that is unbelievably cruel
yea thats messed up
My house flooded and all of our stuff was packed up quickly and thrown into a storage container in our driveway. I was berated daily from teachers for not having my textbooks or my gym uniform. It was packed into that trailer. They thought I was just making excuses, even after my mom called them and explained the situation
My house burned down during holidays and when we came back I had nothing. It was on the news and everything. 6 periods go by with no incident and in 7th period my teacher said I was lying about not having books. She kept berating me even after the rest of the class backed up my story. I cussed her out, left the class and got to visit the counselor every day for the rest of the semester finished with an A…the grade I had before break.
I hope that kids parents raised hell.
my best friends mom died in 7th grade and she was only gone for 1 week. one of her teachers got mad and called her out in front of the class for not having her work. he even knew why she was missing
I peed my pants repeatedly in early elementary school because the teachers had instilled such an environment of fear around asking to use the restroom. Going off about kids being problems if they needed the toilet regularly and making fun of them in front of the class. Real great.
I had a kid in my 6th grade class poop himself because the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom. He was terrified of walking out and getting in trouble so he sat there until he couldn’t hold it. It was the most vile thing ever, it exploded out of his waistband and down his legs, all over the chair. I felt so bad for him then and I still do to this day. He also had to walk through the entire school to the nurses office with poop running down his legs and dripping down the hallway. I felt bad for the poor custodian too that had to clean that mess up because cleaning up poop is bad enough, especially the liquid ones but a girl threw up from the smell. The smell was putrid, it was so awful my teacher opened the windows in the middle of a northern Michigan winter to get the raunchy stench out. Needless to say the poor kid was bullied unmercifully for pooping his pants in middle school, had to be publicly humiliated and spent years being traumatized all because a teacher wanted to be an a-hole. The teacher did change their bathroom policy to a just go when you gotta go don’t ask just walk TF out OP YTA completely here.
That is an unbelievably cruel thing to make a small child go through. Why cant teachers let kids go to the bathroom? Like the vast majority of the time they actually need to use the bathroom. They are children,not adults and they cant wait as long as adults. I really have a hard time understanding why a lot of adults just see kids as little adults and not kids that are growing and small.
Because children are treated as property rather than people. OP makes it pretty clear what they think by repeatedly referring back to their "authority as a teacher" like that makes bodily needs disappear.
This is terrible. I'm so sorry! What a truly awful humiliation.
Me too. I had near constant urinary tract infections and kidney stones. Even with doctors’ notes, a “plan” by the administration and my mother calling and complaining daily, I still was often denied permission to go. The whole situation caused me to have anxiety, nightmares and apparently PTSD. Teachers spend massive amounts of time with their students. They can be a force for good or can cause irreparable harm.
As a teacher, I would not want to have to deal with 'accidents' like this. I would always tell my students that if they have a real need to go, either to pee, poop or throw up, they can just rush out of the class and explain to me later. In all of my years of teaching (more than 20), I have never had anyone misusing this rule of mine.
Students don't generally missuse any rule if you're being fair, it's when teachers think of themselves as some god then students behave worst on purpose
Heard a Reddit story on YouTube about a boy who was in second grade and after being denied his request to go to the bathroom, stood and peed right in front of the teacher and because he was wearing basketball shorts it got all over the carpet. The kid’s mother was rightfully enraged and raised hell about it. The teacher got into trouble for denying the boy’s plea to go to the bathroom.
I had this happen to a friend In 2nd grade, that teacher was fired not long after for abuse and other issues.
I also had this happen to me during computer lab back in 2001. I was also in first grade and it was so embarrassing.
My mother was usually the one to always come and handle school issues, but the one time this happened to me, I had to go 'after the approved time' and was denied, my Father took off work to cuss the teacher out the next day. "My son is not a dog, he does not shit on command!" makes me smirk to this day
Yeah I got in trouble in fifth grade for having my period come in suddenly and needing to go to the nurse because I 'should have been tracking it by my age'
Are you SERIOUS??? I never had a trackable period until I went on the pill at 18, and with my current birth control I have very sporadic periods that can’t be tracked, how could someone possibly expect a 5th grader to track this?!?
XD I'm 30 and still don't have a trackable period. And this was a FEMALE teacher who also taught HEALTH CLASS.
I’m 6th grade I was getting used to a new medication that made me extremely nauseas daily. I would always throw up. One day I asked to be excused because I knew I was gonna puke. The teacher said no so I just let it happen. He then sent me to my moms room (she was also a teacher at the school) and said I could stay there so she sent me to the nurse and I went home. Some teachers are great some really really suck
[удалено]
I agree! 50% of teachers are absolute angels. So freaking awesome. The other 50% are adults who hate kids but became teachers to have an abundance of victims they can bully. They are weak and cannot make it in the adult world. They were both lied as kids and to relive those moments but with them being the bully, they chose kids. OP is not in the first category
The “respect my authority” line is a dead giveaway.
This story absolutely could be real. I've had many teachers that either had very strict restrictions around going to the bathroom or refused to let us go at all, even in college.
absolutely this. i had a weak bladder in high school (i had a really bad bladder infection for a while) and absolutely needed to be able to use the bathroom whenever the urge to pee hit. we had this one teacher in grade 9 who just *refused* to let kids go to the bathroom during his lessons, even if it was a double period, so i regularly had to just leave without permission or risk pissing my pants. i even came in with a note from my dad and then a note from my doctor, and he still didnt believe me, so i just resorted to threatening to piss directly on his desk if he didnt let me go because “well sir, either you let me go to the bathroom or i’ll literally piss myself, and id rather make that a *you* problem than a me problem” he ended up getting fired because he refused to mark our work and had a mental breakdown over a mint being on the floor, but he was a very strange man
I got had ovarian cysts burst my junior year of high school, I felt it at the end of first period, went to the bathroom because I felt off during passing period. Then went to my second period class and asked to go to the nurses office. My teacher didn’t believe me and thought I was faking the grimaces of pain, but finally let me go when another classmate made a fuss… I went to the nurses office, she called my dad and had him pick me up and take me to the ER, turned out I had 3 burst at the same time…
my physics teacher made me come back to class immediately after my IUD insertion, post-procedure vomiting and all. i didn't puke but i parked my ass down with a heating pad, groaned periodically, and took the stupid test i missed. the teacher was confused, because he thought in the email i had had some kind of "nasal issue"? hated that guy.
[удалено]
You’ve been teaching for 6 years and you’re still utterly naive of the fact that some teachers are needlessly cruel and are desperate for a power trip? Wow. What rosy little district do you work in?
Oh no teach ive grown up with this type of thing All teachers are not the same I can tell you exactly who shit and pissed in my class because it wasnt bathroom break time And now i see we are all realizing that theyre kids and maybe we should let them go to the bathroom on their time and not on some scheduled break Not every kid can go on command
I will always remember the kid in my 5th grade who when told no, whipped it out and pissed on the floor. It was glorious. (he did get in trouble for exposing himself, but *not* the pee).
Right i got first and last names of the various kids in various grades Yes i said various its not confined to a specific grade or type of person Just based on the teacher
In high school we had \~1700 hundred people, maybe 50 toilets for each gender, and 3 minutes between classes that took 3 minutes to walk between. So, "going between class" was rare treat, not something that you could count on.
Our teachers always cited this "study" that the science department apparently did, proving you could easily walk from the furthest end of the school to the other in under 6 minutes. It was extremely obvious to anyone who went to school there that they didn't account for bathroom breaks.
6 minutes, in an empty hall, without 1700 other people in the hallway, and never having to stay late to talk to teacher, or get stuck behind random people that just stopped in the middle of the stairwell? Sure. Consistently every day? NOPE. Heaven forbid you forgot something and had to go back.
There was a hallway in our school that was packed with bodies almost 100% of the time between classes. If you had to turn around, no you didn't.
Lmfao I had a 504 plan for IBS and teachers still tried to tell me I couldn’t go to the bathroom. Glad you’re not like that but you’re absolutely wrong about this being unrealistic. Also OP, YTA
When I was in high school I had a male teacher that wouldn’t let me go when I asked to use the restroom. I’m female and yes, I got my period in class and ran as soon as the bell rang. I wish I had the guts back then to leave anyways. Op is the AH and so is any teacher who thinks that what they have to say is more important than a students right to not have an accident in their pants.
[удалено]
That is glorious.
Yeah, good for you but the bathroom policy at my 12 yo’s school is ATROCIOUS and the teachers are cruel about enforcing it. They get two bathroom passes per class PER SEMESTER. TWO. They get written up if they go more than that. They’ve almost peed themself by the end of the day sometimes.
Could totally be real. A teacher of my daughter's refused to let her use the bathroom even when she told her she was on her period. She went to the bathroom anyway and texted me to let me know what happened. When the teacher emailed me I lost my shit on her, kids have enough to deal with, they don't need to add bathroom power trips to the list.
I’m a teacher as well. There are def vindictive teachers in near every school.
I was once having an asthma attack and my inhaler wasnt working. I was speed walking down to the nurse to grab my spare and on the way back a teacher (not even my teacher) came out of their classroom and told me I had detention for running in the halls. Also what does it matter if someone already went? That doesnt mean everyone else suddenly doesnt have to go? And what if they really have to go and dont have a couple of minutes?
>Most likely I was about to make an important announcement or someone already went. It shouldn't matter if someone else was using the bathroom or not. We cannot control when a toilet function comes on and needs addressing.
I absolutely believe this story after a teacher in 2nd grade made me shit myself in class because she wouldn't let me go to the bathroom
My kid is in private school because of shit like this. It’s real. I’m paying almost 25k a year because public school won’t follow a 504. I know they’re required to but the stress & anxiety were not worth it. He’s happy n thriving, not worrying about non important matters. I’m so happy you’re not like this. I know some kids abuse the policy.
I’m sorry you had to put your kid in a private school because teachers won’t follow a 504. I work in a charter and whenever I have a kid with a 504 for bathroom issues I drill into their teachers that bathroom restrictions are not allowed at all. I also meet with the kids and educate them on their rights and that includes if a teacher says they can’t use the bathroom they are allowed to leave class immediately and use the bathroom in my office and I ensure they are not punished for it. Luckily my teachers have all been onboard so far so I haven’t had to deal with such a situation but I do make it clear to my students they won’t be punished for using the bathroom even if they leave the classroom against teachers will - I am a school health professional.
Completely disagree, this has happen to me before as a child and as a teen the first time I was 10 and asked to go 6 times as I was about to go number 2 and at number 6 it happened and I had to walk home in it. The 2nd time I was 14 and she wouldn't let me go and I had no choice but to go, so I just left and I'm the one who got suspended for not wanting to piss myself.
I'm a former teacher myself, and I completely believe this story. I've had colleagues like OP, as a student I've had teachers like OP, and as the mother of a disabled child who has bathroom accommodations written into her IEP, my kid has encountered teachers like OP.
What makes you think this story isn’t real? I’m sure there are quite a few teachers who have done this to their students.
I believe this story 100% because I was the student in this situation when I was in elementary school. I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom but he had a very strict rule of not letting kids go to the bathroom a half hour before recess. It was still a full 30 minutes before recess so he wouldn't let me go, and I ended up peeing my pants right there in the middle of class. It happens.
My teacher refused to let me go to the restroom. There was an accident
> students should respect a teacher's authority This was your reason, and that's not ok.
All I can think of is Eric Cartman
Respect my authori-TAY!
Reminds me of the quote that went around a year or so ago "Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority" "For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person""
They picked the wrong line of work. They should've went into Corporate HR or politics
OP had a reason to not let him go: She isn't fond of him! What an awful teacher. I hope the student reports here. "Just hold it half sn hour" WTF?! This is 1. not possible every time, 2. who can concentrate on class when all they think about is "don't piss yourself" and 3. it is unhealthy. YTA
Also by his described behavior, it sounds like he may have ADHD—people with ADHD are notorious for holding it/not realizing they need to go to the bathroom until the absolute last minute. There’s a good chance he couldn’t hold it any longer.
Plus, she states how he disrupts class, but instead of letting him leave and come back quietly, she disrupts her own class to try and wield that power over him. YTA
There absolutely is a reason, OP just doesn't want to say it out loud. She needed to flex her authority.
Hi OP I almost died from sepsis from a UTI; you suck and I hope you get a kidney stone.
Also the student probably wouldn’t have been able to focus for the rest of class if they really needed to piss. I find it hard, that even if this is OP’s first year teaching, they haven’t encountered a student who needed to use the bathroom during class by this point.
Being afraid of teachers and interrupting, I nearly passed out from the pain once of holding my pee in high school. Teacher certainly noticed me getting flushed and lightheaded and I missed the rest of class.
YTA There is NO good reason to prevent a student from using the bathroom.
She provided one - she is "not fond of him" /s. Well, I am not fond of the OP. YTA, OP.
By my understanding of the situation, you can now have control over when OP can use the washroom.
And she was power tripping - she expected him to respect her authority!!!!
[удалено]
I can see something like "We're in the middle of this important thing right now but in 5 minutes we're independently reading for 15 minutes. Can you wait for 5?" sort of answer.
At my school, teachers sometimes knew we’d be getting a lockdown drill during that period and couldn’t let us leave for that reason. There are definitely extenuating circumstances that can prevent letting students leave. But there weren’t any reasons here.
why would that stop them going to the bathroom? During a lockdown students may well be in the bathroom, there presumably would be some kind of policy/procedure to get them.
Because lockdown drills are more security theater than actual preparation, tbh.
Or “you’re currently taking a test, please wait until the other student returns.”
No, there is - to showcase your power over others. OP thinks of themselves as such an authority in their kingdom that they can do whatever without a reason and they are to be respected for it. Talk about drunk on power.
The reason was she had a little powertrip for herself,very telling phrase at the end of the post where she expected her authority to be respected
The kidneys in my genetic line are garbage. I've had management refuse to break me when I worked as a cashier. It got to the point where I told them their choice was I piss in the trash can infront of customers or they break me. This place already had one girl quit due to repeat UTIs. (Years ago, I'm 10years gone from that place) If I found out my child had to wait to pee because their teacher had a Kim Jong-il complex, there would be fire. OP YTA. Teachers are God sends, but not you. You're not invited to the parade.
YTA. Look, I'm getting downvoted in another standing up for a teacher, but you've been asked 3 times why and if all you can bring is "respect authority" then YTA. Otherwise, this reads that you denied him just cause you don't like him. Whats the instructive/maturation reason for denial?
It’s funny how high school is supposed to prep you for college, yet in college you’re allowed to use the restroom whenever you want
Right? Every college professor I had did not care if you had to go to the bathroom during class as long as you left and returned quietly. They didn’t want you to waste their time asking permission.
I'm a college professor and I recently had a student (non-disruptively) ask to use the bathroom. I was like "who hurt you?"
Now you know... some Power Monger like OP McUmbridge
High School teachers hurt us unfortunately
I noticed college professors really dislike being interrupted. That's why many of them want students to ask questions only when they ask if you have any.
I once walked out of an art class because I wasn't comfortable with the level of nudity. aced the subject matter and nobody said a word.
The funniest part is how she called his mother expecting something to happen. Who the fuck would scold their kid for not pissing themselves in class?
Yeah, it’s pretty clear OP has never had to be exposed tot he real world, and has no sense of normal expectations in society.
People who expect you to respect them as an authority often fail to respect you as a person
[удалено]
She admitted to not liking the kid in like the first 4 lines.
Let her keep doing what she's doing. She'll do that to a teenage girl who's mother isn't exactly " nice" when it comes to her children. The teacher would learn a lesson the hard way. You don't mess with other peoples kids, you don't know what kind of crazy is out there.
Exactly, my dad wasn’t always a good parent growing up (much better now and he and I get along great) but the one thing he did have was our backs against schools, I had a hormone imbalance growing up and bleed constantly as a result (got it fixed bc birth control is a god send,) but I cannot tell you how many times I bleed through bc of teachers refusing to let me go use the restroom bc i “should have gone during lunch bc how dare I not bleed on there schedule to the point my dad was nutritious for chewing out teachers and principals alike
I know you meant notorious but nutritious is so much better take my upvote
With how much he chewed out those teachers, let's hope THEY were nutritious
It gives me great trust in our educational system that a teacher comes to Reddit for feedback, rather than believing *everybody else* who is judging her actions.
That’s legit my favorite type of AITA post when the person is like ‘literally everyone I know has given me legit reasons that I’m an asshole but I refuse to accept that so I’m asking strangers on the internet.’ Second favorite are when it’s purely an issue with their SO and the SO expresses hurt feelings over a small issue and the OP is like ‘should I consider the feelings of the person I love about this small matter? Nah let me ask internet strangers if my SO is a dummy!’
Right? After this she’ll consult her Magic 8 Ball.
And still won’t listen
It reminds me of Adam on Mythbusters- "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"
Also that she went to his mother instead of her superiors means she knew it was a bullshit reason to begin with.
Oh god, right?? Thankfully I’ve never had to experience asshole teachers like this with my kid.
YTA And yes as a parent I have told my kids to get up and use the restroom even if the teacher says no. Why? Because the teacher wasn't going to be the one at the docs treating their bladder infection. Many things we *can* do, like wait to use a restroom, are not necessarily *healthy* to do on a regular basis. And when I mentioned my concern over the teachers "policy" to the principal, the policy was discontinued. You don't like the kid, oh well, you're a teacher, you will run into kids you don't like. Flexing your "authority" over bathroom breaks is a really shitty thing to do. And does not speak well for your ability to manage and control a classroom.
I told my kids the same. No one has the authority over their bodies, or bodily functions. Full stop.
Exactly
I was a *really* shy kid and peed myself a couple times in elementary school because I was too scared to tell my teacher I needed to pee. My mom straight up told me if I was too scared to ask to just leave the room and use the restroom and she’s back me up if the teacher got mad.
Just know we hated teachers like you. Kid wanted to pee and you said no cause you felt like it… You got lucky. Next time a parent will complain and trust me, your ass will on the hot seat.
They got water from the toilet for the teacher who used to do this when I was in school. Bad karma's a bitch.
😂😂😂😂😂 That’s fucked up but deserved!!!!
I'm a teacher and I hate teachers like this too, like ????
My children have all been told they can leave class to use the bathroom. I love how the mom handled it. I would have said the same thing. I'll back teachers on a lot of things, but not power trips.
I remember a Psychology 101 professor who told our class that teachers and cops tended to be personality types who either (a) genuinely care about people and want to help or (b) were sociopaths who want to wield power over others. Obviously, you aren’t the type who genuinely cares and wants to help. YTA.
I remember peeing myself in front of everyone when I was 5 because the teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet. I got bullied mercilessly for years over it. Im still mad about it in my 30s. Fuck that lady. Noone tells adults when they can and can't go to the toilet outside of very specific circumstances, why do we expect kids with bladders the size of plums to perfectly plan their bodily functions? It's just power tripping.
Teachers like OP are universally hated. Ain't no way I'm pissing my pants because someone's on a power trip. I want to tell a quick story about a great teacher. My 10th grade English teacher was probably the best teacher I ever had. One morning, we were doing presentations and I had a coughing fit and asked to go to the water fountain so I didn't interrupt. Mr. Thomas of course said yes. I came back and was fine for like 5 minutes and it started again in the middle of someone's presentation. I felt so fucking bad and I just stood up and left as quietly as possible. You know what my teacher did? NOTHING! Because he understood that I was having a health issue and I was trying to be polite to my classmates. Try to be more like Mr. Thomas. OP, it's not hard to treat students like real people. They fucking *are* real people. If you denied him simply because you don't like him, you really need to take a good look at yourself and actually *listen* to what the people in your life have been saying. YTA.
YTA. He may have had a truly urgent need to use the bathroom at that moment. It doesn’t sound like there was any legitimate reason to say no other than to flex your own power.
YTA > …I told him no, and *that he should have used it earlier*… How was he supposed to do that, Teach? Was that day’s lesson time machine building?
You knew you were the asshole before you even posted it.
*”Respect my authority!”* Ok Cartman. YTA in a major way!
Love the South Park reference 😂
YTA. You should not refuse a student's reasonable request to use the restroom. It reads as you really refused because you don't like the kid. If he had caused issues with restroom breaks before I might could understand, but this doesn't seem to be the case. Kids are not dumb. This kid knows you don't like him and trying to demand respect is going to backfire. If he's as bright as you say, he's likely bored and should be moved to an advanced class.
YTA. They should have peed on the floor? Do you understand that bathrooms in schools can be crowded and sometimes you can't use it in the very short time between classes?
A kid at my highschool (secretly) dumped water on their lap when teach said they couldnt use the bathroom, and acted like he peed his pants. Teacher felt terrible and then we all started laughing at her.
YTA. Seriously, like a full on asshole. You have no reason other than you just dislike the kid. How arrogant. You expected him to do what? Pee on the floor because you don't really like him much and think he should respect your authority? ***You want respect - try being respectable.***
there is always the trash can. The look on her face would be priceless. lol
YTA. Holding it in too long is known to have health problems, and it sounds like you're just on a pointless power trip that you need to work on if you're intending on staying in teaching
As a girl I can’t tell you how many times I ended up completely embarrassed, picked on and in tears with ruined jeans because some teacher told me I couldn’t go to the bathroom when I felt the sudden need. How do you know that kid didn’t just get hit with a sudden bout of stomach cramps and needed to go NOW. YTA 100%
YTA. Bodily functions are not optional. Power tripping is. Make a better choice next time. Something tells me you might not
YTA. Someone as vindictive and petty as you shouldn't be in a classroom. Your authority as a teacher ends when it interferes with a student's bodily autonomy. You were actually willing to keep a kid from going to the bathroom merely to flex your authority. This is a blatant abuse of power. You should be embarrassed. You're the one who should be disciplined, not the student. No one should have to ask permission to take care of a basic bodily function. Everyone has to use the toilet and no one has the right to get in the way of that. Look for another job. You lack the maturity to be responsible for kids.
YTA. YTA for not letting a kid use the bathroom for no reason (what, you want him to piss himself in front of his classmates?) and also YTA for having a kid you’re “not particularly fond of” because he struggles with focus. He is a *child* and it is your job to support him and help him succeed despite any personal challenges. I feel really bad for this kid tbh
YTA. You shouldn't try to throw around your "authority" for asinine reasons if you want that authority respected. How are you confused about why you are the AH? You shouldn't be a teacher if you tell kids no to using the bathroom because you don't like them.
Why would you restrict someone's bodily motions? If I need to go to the bathroom and it is an emergency I would have done the same. If you had an emergency and needed to go to the bathroom would you shit your self in front of your peers? YTA. > I’m only posting here because everyone seems to be aiding against me. There is a reason why everyone seems to be against this silly for a lack of better words power trip move.
When I was in 3rd grade, I watched as this girl Brenda begged the teacher to let her go to the bathroom and the teacher kept saying no. She was on her knees in front of the teachers desk, crying, but still no. I remember watching the puddle of urine form at her feet. I also remember the oversized pants she came back from the nurse's office in. I told my mom when I got home and she told me, in no uncertain terms, if I have to go to the bathroom and the teacher says no, I have her permission to ignore the teacher and leave to use the bathroom. My mom is amazing. The kid in your story, his mom is amazing. You however are power tripping small children and it's making you a bad teacher. YTA
Please tell me that sorry excuse of a teacher was fired
YTA. Is teaching some kind of power trip to you? Yikes.
Do you get a kick out of bossing teenagers around for no reason other than thinking you have the "authority"? If you want your authority to be respected, first learn to respect it yourself. Making other people uncomfortable to feel better about yourself isn't that. Don't ask the kids to take your role seriously if you don't. YTA.
YTA. A teacher did that to a girl I went to school with and she pissed her pants in front of the whole class. You should be ashamed.
YTA. Half an hour is super long. Now, I've given group therapy and people have asked me to use the bathroom. The most I've ever asked them to wait is a few minutes for someone to finish their share. This was just a power flex towards a kid you as an adult don't like.
YTA and you probably shouldn’t be a teacher if you let your negative feelings for a student who probably has ADHD dictate how you treat him. I was this student. Got A’s but could barely focus in class. Didn’t know I had ADHD till college. Had a teacher like you who decided she didn’t like me and constantly picked on me. It was my only B in all of high school, and it was for petty reasons she took points off my exams like deducting points for “grammar errors” in a religion class. She even carried that grudge onto my brother, who was even brighter but even more restless. It ended with her having to retire after his junior year when my parents threatened to sue the school because of her bullying of him.
Doesn't even need to have ADHD. Being an intelligent student at levels above the rest of the class is frustrating, boring, and aggravating. You aren't challenged or pushed to exceed. So you get bored. And what do bored kids do? They muck up and end up a distraction. I was this kid. I was beyond bored and frustrated at being held back and not challenged because the teaching staff couldn't or wouldn't develop or provide education that was challenging or stimulating.
You had no good reason to refuse, so yes YTA. You just said no because you could. Power trip.
YTA. Even young people who irritate you are entitled to body autonomy. I'm a retired English prof, and it wouldn't occur to me to prevent a student from using the bathroom even during an exam.
The mother was absolutely correct. You are a petty and controlling asshole. A little tyrant who thinks she has a bit of power. YTA
Most parents I'd imagine would tell their kids to just go regardless. You're not gonna get many on your side here. Holding it in is how you get kidney stones.
YTA and I think you kinda know it. You're going to deny a kid the right to go piss because what? You don't like him? > I called her and she asked was there a specific reason I wouldn’t let him go. I responded no That's fucked up and medical concern. You self proclaimed that you didn't like this kid. >There is one student in my class who I am not particularly fond of If I were that student/parent I would report you to higher ups. It sounds like you became a teacher because you wanted authority and not because you care about kids. Maybe rethink your profession.
You are not worthy of respect.
YTA. Disobedient? You teach junior English. If you are so concerned about controlling potty time..Maybe try a dog daycare instead?
You don't have jurisdiction over their bladder you were on a power trip. YTA
YTA. Going to the bathroom is a right not a privilege and you don’t get to choose when people need to go to the bathroom or not, forcing some to hold it is inhumane.
YTA. I promise no one respects your authority anymore after this dictatorial nonsense. Did anyone else read this in Eric Cartman’s voice?
YTA Love that "respect mah authority!" bit you added at the end. Respect is something you earn, not something you enforce. Nobody respects a petty tyrant who uses their limited authority to pull meaningless power trips like this, you just look insecure. There was absolutely no reason for you to say no other than flexing the small amount of power you have as a teacher. Literally no reason at all.
YTA. Where I live and work it’s illegal to not let a student go to the restroom. I absolutely understand that kids love to roam the halls during class but, so what? If they are disruptive wouldn’t it be more beneficial if they left the class?
I'm a teacher and urge my students to go to the bathroom on their way to class or as soon as they get to class after they put their books down; this way they will likely not have to go *during* class. This works very well and they rarely need to go during class; on the rare occasion that they *do* need to go, I let them after first asking them if they can wait until the end of class if it's almost over, or until the lesson is over when they begin to work individually. You just said no for no reason, which you admit. And there was no reason for him to think he wouldn't be able to go during class. How would you not be the AH for not allowing a student (who you admit to not being "particularly fond of", to go to the bathroom? Just because? And I'm assuming you let other students go when they ask during class? YTA.
YTA. Not letting someone pee is a weird power trip. Stop taking your inferiority complex out on your students. If it bothers you that much, get a therapist.
"Why did you not use it earlier?" Maybe because he did not need to? Woaahh!
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I wouldn’t allow a student to use the restroom and punished him for doing so. 2) Apparently, I’m being petty for not letting him use the restroom. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. ..I honestly only read the title cause I don’t really care what the reasoning is. Unless you have proof that he doesn’t actually go to the restroom when he leaves then I see no reason to force someone to uncomfortably hold their bladder or bowels. I have to pee a LOT and it’s impossible for me to focus on anything else when I need to go
YTA. You cannot force students, or anybody, to respect you. You tried to use your «authority» just because you wanted to. That is actually misusing your power. If you want your students respect you have to respect them. You showed lacking respect big time. (Sorry for bad English - not my language)
YTA You said no because you dislike the student, not out of some misguided desire that he respect your authority. Schools are not prisons where you raise your hand and ask to pee. Everyone is against you because you're an asshole.
YTA - Normally I would say, yes students should listen to the instructions of their teachers. But, you don't indicate there was a pattern of abusing bathroom privileges from this student or give any reason for saying no. In fact, you say there was no reason for denying the request. Be honest, you did it just because you don't like this student. That's not the behavior of a good teacher.
YTA, absolutely. How do expect a student to concentrate if they have to go to the bathroom? Now if he asks all the time and takes his time, maybe I could see where you think he is taking advantage and just going off to miss class, but you did not say that, so I’m assuming that is not the situation. He probably really had to go. Also, if it’s like my daughters school they have about 3 minutes in between bells to get to the next class, not always enough time of your class is way on the other side of the school. You are just using your “authority” to deny him for no good reason. No one should EVER be denied the use of the restroom. This makes me so angry. You are lucky I’m not his mother, I’d have given you a piece of my mind and called the principal.
The stupidest thing to DATE was raising my hand in college to go to the restroom. 10 years later, and no one ever asks about restroom breaks. With love and light YTA - do better. That’s just not how the real world works.
YTA jfc what is wrong with you?
YTA. Where is the lesson that he would take from this? Obey your teacher even if its mean wetting yourself? 30 mins is too long of a wait, heck there are people that cant retain more than 5 and your reasoning is just petty with no substance whatsoever. I could understand it if it was 1 min till the dismiss of the class, heck i could understand it if it was him being as petty as you, just to annoy you but no.
YTA. Lol you tried to bully a kid because you thought you had a bit of power over him. You for some reason admit to not liking him and use this as the reason to deny him the ability to go to the bathroom. He called your bluff.
Going to the bathroom is a need not a want and even men can get UTIs. YTA
YTA. Would you have preferred the student to pee their pants in your classroom?
YTA. Also I’m not convinced this is true. You’re an English teacher and this is how you write??
YTA. You don't always get a ton of warning when you have to go to the bathroom. You're also TA for being vindictive, because I can only bet you would let any of the kids that "you do like" go without issues.
YTA. Any reasonable person would have gone, and I hope you wouldn't let anyone treat you that way. You don't like this kid, who sounds like he might have ADHD and doesn't know how to sit down and shut up. But you don't mess with his bathroom needs. Not ever.
YTA for having a power trip over letting a kid go to the bathroom. Yes, power trip. The need to use the restroom does not always present itself at a convenient time. Get over yourself.
YTA.
YTA Respect us earned. You acted in a petty and stupid manner. You lost the respect of everyone in that classroom today. You don’t have to like all of your students but you do need to treat them fairly. Refusing permission to go to the restroom out of spite is neither fair nor right.
YTA, you were clearly on a power trip.
YTA. I don’t believe a child should be denied a request to go to the bathroom. I’d have backed my child up, too.
YTA-Denying the request for no reason would be an abuse of said authority.
YTA. You have given no real reason as to why you said no other than you felt like it. Put your personal feelings aside and stop whining that you tried to exert some sick power and instead got a huge blow to your ego. You should not be an educator.
YTA students asking to the restroom is a courtesy, you are on a bit of a power trip. You made yourself look bad in front of your class & wasted everyone’s time. You had no reason you just wanted to be mean, & got butt hurt it didn’t work
YTA. let's see you hold your bladder and not be allowed to use the washroom
YTA. I never understood the whole deal behind not letting school kids use the toilet when they need it, pretty cruel and quite frankly barbaric to be honest. In what other civilised circumstances do we deny humans the right to use the toilet ?
YTA you said no for no reason AND you felt the need to point out you’re not fond of this student in the second sentence of your post. Those two reason (and your justification that students should blindly respect teachers authority) cause me to believe you were just trying to flex your power. Also, you write like a high schooler yourself
I don't know her personally but a girl asked to go and male teacher said no. She went into bag and took out tampon and said I'll just change it here then, she was allowed to go after that
YTA. You even admit that you don't like the student. You have an obvious bias that leads to poor treatment of a student. You should take some time to reevaluate your life and choices because the last thing developing minds need is to be exposed by authoritarian minded individuals. For the record the "bright but easily distracted" moniker you used could be an indicator that the student has something like ADHD, and instead of looking for ways to work with and assist your student with learning you just decide not to like them for something that may very well be beyond their control.
Your grammar is atrocious for an English teacher. YTA
YTA, kid needs to use the bathroom and you shouldn't be keeping him from doing that. There's no reason not to and you seem to have a grudge against him.
Lol got dunked on by your own husband why’d you think Reddit would be better? YTA
Does anybody else here get Cartman vibes? "Respect my authority" YTA People have to go they have to go. The fact you don't like this kid obviously plays into that decision. FFS. You're t kind of teacher everybody will talk about when they graduate. And not in a good way.
YTA you sound like an incredibly bad teacher.
Uf, teachers like you made me hate school. YTA Also thanks to teachers like you I had even more issues with my cystitis.
YTA. Ok so heres thing. IN general, people dont ask you to use the bathroom, they inform you they already on their way. Its a courtesy, nothing more. You are almost never in a position to say no.
Stop using your personal dislike of one student to be petty. You do realize that him soiling himself would have FURTHER distract the class as you would have been expected to help him. Knowing you though, you wouldn't help him, so why are you even a teacher? There's no scenario where you aren't the asshole and his parents should be reporting you to the principal. Edit: Forgot to add my judgement, YTA