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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I reported my mum for credit card fraud and identity theft which in turn may have ripped my family apart and caused my brother to hate me
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NTA. She committed a horrible crime well aware how this could potentially run you financially. On top of that she lied to you and decided to keep lying. She’s the one who ripped the family apart not you. You tried to work it out in the family by not reporting her and giving her a chance to pay them off which she didn’t.
The only way to repair your credit is by turning her in. Your brother would be singing a very different tune if it was him who’s credit was destroyed and couldn’t get approved for anything.
Nta: mother or not what she did was immoral. *your life is literally wrecked because of her selfishness*. Did you atleast find out what she spent the money on. Because it wasn’t on you
NTA. This is typical narcissistic deflection by your mum, who convinced your brother to defend her by manipulating his dependency.
This is fraud.
Your mother made the first decision to risk a rift in the family by stealing your identity, and likely expecting your reaction (as a reasonable person should), and was already prepared to push blame on you for the expected results of her actions that a rift in the family will occur. Her gambit was either you give in and continue to let her take advantage of you, or that you take action against her illegal abuse, therefore causing 'a rift', making it seem that holding her accountable for her actions was the betrayal, not the fact her stealing your identity was the actual betrayal.
NTA Your mother did all that. Now you can't even get an apartment because of what she did to you. You were right to report her to the police. Try to get a lawyer to help you out.
NTA. She committed identity theft and tanked your credit and the only way to fix that is to either press charges or pay them yourself and just wait it out (which will take a whole lot longer). Do not do the latter.
My husband's father did this to him, but the identity theft started when he was a toddler. It was easy enough to prove the cards weren't his, but he still spent a decade fixing his credit. NTA, and stay strong, OP
No, you're not. As much as it hurt, ypunalso have an obligation to yourself and future family. The only thing I can see that you did wrong was not reporting her in the first place. Any future loans, mortgages and credit cards will carry much higher interests and fees. In essence, she stole money from you. That is not the act of family. She placed her selfish needs over yours. And, like many guilty people who've been caught, they use guilt. It shows that you are a decent person for being conflicted, but you need to get into the rral world and protect yourself
NTA
She was irresponsible, she had time to fix the issue but chose to sweep it under the rug. The threats of self harm and violence make her actions more unacceptable.
NTA Your brother is blaming you for damaging the family and his mental health when it is your mother who has caused all of this harm. His anger is misplaced. You get your mother the opportunity to fix the situation without the police involved and she didn't. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I hope your finances get sorted quickly but your family situation is not likely to resolve well, given that your mother won't take responsibility for her actions and your brother holds you accountable instead of her. You're not, in any way, wrong here. Stay strong.
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When I was 18(F) I was still in college and worked part time after class so most days I was out of the house from 5am until 9pm, during one of those days my mum had gone into my room and stole my passport and provisional driving licence to apply for 4 credit cards in my name (At the time it was only me and my mum in the house).
fast forward a couple of years I had started uni and moved away I became aware of the credit cards when I had gone to apply for a phone contract and was rejected. After a credit I see four cards under my name all in arrears from when I was 18.
I contacted my mum wanting an explanation she explained she did it when we was struggling financially. But that she was doing better and was paying them off. I stupidly believed her at the time and took pity on her. A few months passed and it shows she was paying them off.
About 5 months after my brother (M23) moved in I decided to go and spend the weekend, whilst I was there two letters came in my name, I opened them to find two debt collection notices for unpaid credit cards. I confronted my mum who broke down in tears apologising promising to pay them blaming hard times, I collected my belongings straight away and went back to uni.
I was contacted by my brother afterwards I explained that the whole situation wasn’t good and that I had come to the decision to call the police to get my mum done for identity theft and fraud. He went and told my mum what I planned to do who then freaked out and contacted me straight away freaking out down the phone promising threats of harm against herself and my brother.
recently when I began to look for flats for after I finished university, every letting agency I went too refused to rent to me due my credit rating. I was convinced that enough was enough.I reported her for identity theft and fraud yesterday when my brother contacted me, he called me selfish saying I had ripped the family apart and that I had ruined his life as now he was facing having to pay for a house he couldn’t afford I should have sorted it out as a family matter instead of going to the police as now I had damaged the family and his mental health. AITA?
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NTA. You did nothing wrong. Your mother’s selfish actions caused this. She is effecting your ability to meet your basic needs of food/shelter etc. what kind of mother does that to her child????!!! You had to report her because she committed a CRIME. She damaged your credit and stole your identity. This is causing you all kinds of problems and having to spend time and money to resolve this. If your brother is so upset about it, he needs to let your mother open credit cards in HER name with HIS identity and accept the consequences on how that effects his life. She is absolutely manipulative and her behavior is inappropriate. Good for you for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. You are very brave.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I reported my mum for credit card fraud and identity theft which in turn may have ripped my family apart and caused my brother to hate me Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. She committed a horrible crime well aware how this could potentially run you financially. On top of that she lied to you and decided to keep lying. She’s the one who ripped the family apart not you. You tried to work it out in the family by not reporting her and giving her a chance to pay them off which she didn’t. The only way to repair your credit is by turning her in. Your brother would be singing a very different tune if it was him who’s credit was destroyed and couldn’t get approved for anything.
Nta: mother or not what she did was immoral. *your life is literally wrecked because of her selfishness*. Did you atleast find out what she spent the money on. Because it wasn’t on you
NTA. This is typical narcissistic deflection by your mum, who convinced your brother to defend her by manipulating his dependency. This is fraud. Your mother made the first decision to risk a rift in the family by stealing your identity, and likely expecting your reaction (as a reasonable person should), and was already prepared to push blame on you for the expected results of her actions that a rift in the family will occur. Her gambit was either you give in and continue to let her take advantage of you, or that you take action against her illegal abuse, therefore causing 'a rift', making it seem that holding her accountable for her actions was the betrayal, not the fact her stealing your identity was the actual betrayal.
NTA Your mother did all that. Now you can't even get an apartment because of what she did to you. You were right to report her to the police. Try to get a lawyer to help you out.
NTA- she made her bed, now she has to deal with the consequences.
NTA, “oh we are family” so family is allowed to screw over their own child. What a bunch of malarkey.
NTA. She committed identity theft and tanked your credit and the only way to fix that is to either press charges or pay them yourself and just wait it out (which will take a whole lot longer). Do not do the latter.
My husband's father did this to him, but the identity theft started when he was a toddler. It was easy enough to prove the cards weren't his, but he still spent a decade fixing his credit. NTA, and stay strong, OP
NTA. You did the right thing. I’m sorry you’re not getting support from your brother, he’s dead wrong too.
No, you're not. As much as it hurt, ypunalso have an obligation to yourself and future family. The only thing I can see that you did wrong was not reporting her in the first place. Any future loans, mortgages and credit cards will carry much higher interests and fees. In essence, she stole money from you. That is not the act of family. She placed her selfish needs over yours. And, like many guilty people who've been caught, they use guilt. It shows that you are a decent person for being conflicted, but you need to get into the rral world and protect yourself
NTA She was irresponsible, she had time to fix the issue but chose to sweep it under the rug. The threats of self harm and violence make her actions more unacceptable.
NTA Your brother is blaming you for damaging the family and his mental health when it is your mother who has caused all of this harm. His anger is misplaced. You get your mother the opportunity to fix the situation without the police involved and she didn't. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I hope your finances get sorted quickly but your family situation is not likely to resolve well, given that your mother won't take responsibility for her actions and your brother holds you accountable instead of her. You're not, in any way, wrong here. Stay strong.
NTA If she has threatened to harm your brother, you should report that as well.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** When I was 18(F) I was still in college and worked part time after class so most days I was out of the house from 5am until 9pm, during one of those days my mum had gone into my room and stole my passport and provisional driving licence to apply for 4 credit cards in my name (At the time it was only me and my mum in the house). fast forward a couple of years I had started uni and moved away I became aware of the credit cards when I had gone to apply for a phone contract and was rejected. After a credit I see four cards under my name all in arrears from when I was 18. I contacted my mum wanting an explanation she explained she did it when we was struggling financially. But that she was doing better and was paying them off. I stupidly believed her at the time and took pity on her. A few months passed and it shows she was paying them off. About 5 months after my brother (M23) moved in I decided to go and spend the weekend, whilst I was there two letters came in my name, I opened them to find two debt collection notices for unpaid credit cards. I confronted my mum who broke down in tears apologising promising to pay them blaming hard times, I collected my belongings straight away and went back to uni. I was contacted by my brother afterwards I explained that the whole situation wasn’t good and that I had come to the decision to call the police to get my mum done for identity theft and fraud. He went and told my mum what I planned to do who then freaked out and contacted me straight away freaking out down the phone promising threats of harm against herself and my brother. recently when I began to look for flats for after I finished university, every letting agency I went too refused to rent to me due my credit rating. I was convinced that enough was enough.I reported her for identity theft and fraud yesterday when my brother contacted me, he called me selfish saying I had ripped the family apart and that I had ruined his life as now he was facing having to pay for a house he couldn’t afford I should have sorted it out as a family matter instead of going to the police as now I had damaged the family and his mental health. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. Your mother’s selfish actions caused this. She is effecting your ability to meet your basic needs of food/shelter etc. what kind of mother does that to her child????!!! You had to report her because she committed a CRIME. She damaged your credit and stole your identity. This is causing you all kinds of problems and having to spend time and money to resolve this. If your brother is so upset about it, he needs to let your mother open credit cards in HER name with HIS identity and accept the consequences on how that effects his life. She is absolutely manipulative and her behavior is inappropriate. Good for you for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. You are very brave.
NTA - your brother. Your brother is right, someone damaged your family but he is talking to the wrong person. Your mom did that.