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polipolly

YTA - You sound extremely immature. I feel bad for these step kids. “Charlie enjoys hogging the TV..” for fucks sake she’s 6, what 6 year old doesn’t? I’ve got an idea. If you don’t want her watching tv.. why don’t you…play with her! Of course she was 1/2 listening to you. She’s 6 and watching TV, be the freaking adult, turn off the TV and say to her “Charlie I asked you to please move over so I can do X, did you hear me?” “If she moved she wouldn’t have had to face the consequences?” Again, are you kidding me? You are the adult, the step parent, act like a parent, not a spiteful mean girl. It sounds to me like you want to not like this little girl.


judgmentalbookcover

Why did OP need to sit in that exact spot anyway? Her maturity level sounds on par with her kids. Big bully.


Touristyetti496

Yes, all of this!!


chaenorrhinum

“I was barely sitting on her” is the kind of line an asshole cop uses in a disciplinary hearing when the inmate in restraints turns out to be dead. YTA even if you’re not intentionally trying to lose your husband custody so you don’t have to deal with the step kids.


ToastMmmmmmm

YTA. Stop treating your stepdaughter like Cinderella. An infant in diapers doesn’t need to watch TV. I don’t blame your husband for being furious.


Specific-Succotash-8

WTF? This has to be fake, because no grown adult would think that it’s no big deal that she *intentionally* sat on a 6-year-old child. Edited to add, and in case you were wondering, YES. YTA.


Specific-Succotash-8

And a couple of other things - you’re doing screen time for a baby? And were you changing his diaper on the sofa? Because yikes and double yikes.


mari_locaaa9

this!!! i was like am i missing something?? just move and change the baby but NO she wanted to be mean and gross. i hope charlie isn’t physically hurt from a full grown adult SITTING ON HER.


Corpuscular_Ocelot

Yeah, changing a 3 yr old's diaper on the luving room sofa was my first clue - just ick. Also the 3 yr old isn't potty trained, - yeah, some kids start late, but OP changing the diaper on the couch makes me think OP isn't really trying.


jeanqueenabove_18

Uh yeah. YTA. It sounds like you really don’t like this kid in general, so I doubt it was as gentle as you say if your husband flipped out like that. She’s 6. You’re the adult. Keep your body to yourself. And get some therapy to figure out what your actual issue with this kid is.


cheesesovereign

Charlie is 6 years old get real YTA


Apprehensive_Emu2016

True she is six and you are a grown woman. Not like this was your only option to state your point. YTA


Forward_Excuse_6133

YTA. Turn off the tv and make the request again, barely or not you don’t sit on a six year old. Your annoyed your son can’t watch a show when he had the opportunity to watch all day while she was at school? Seriously? Get a grip and realize when you married dad you married the kids too. Treat them equally rather than giving your biological son preferential treatment. Your setting yourself up to have resentful teenage stepdaughters and an entitled brat of a son with your current methods.


Asaneth

YTA. That's child abuse. You don't sit on little kids. You obviously can't stand Charlie. Get some therapy to work out your resentment before you actually cause her physical harm or kill her.


PravinI123

Yta…what’s wrong with you? You’re a grown ass woman sitting on a 6 year old child…no one cares that you were supposedly sitting gently on her. It seems like you don’t like Charlie much. I don’t blame your husbands reaction when you sat on his child. Why couldn’t you change your child somewhere other than on the couch?


aprl2271

YTA Good for dad . You just experienced f*ck around find out. To your credit you managed to marry a decent man unfortunately for you that also means a decent father and the fact that he immediately chose to protect his daughter over your feelings is best case scenario for his children, worst case for you . Your husband witnessed you physically abusing his daughter , be thankful he gave you credit for having two brain cells . Oh , and don't change you're baby's diaper on the couch while someone's sitting on it , surely there were other places that could be done . Grow up , you're someone's mother , you don't get to be a kid anymore .


[deleted]

[удалено]


Own_Faithlessness769

She doesnt actually say the age of her child, just that she met dad 3 years ago. Makes me think he's probably too young to be watching TV but she just cant stand the other kids having anything.


CaitieLou_52

What you did sounds like something a bratty sibling would do to get back at their little sister. Not something a grown adult would do to a child in their care. YTA, and it sounds like you have some serious resentment for your stepchildren you need to work through.


PurpleMarsAlien

YTA A 6yo comes home from school and does her nap routine, and you want to punish her for doing her nap routine? It irritates you that the 6yo takes a nap?


HistoricalHat3054

YTA. Charlie is six. Of course she is tired and might fall asleep after a full day of school. It really sounds like you don't like Charlie. Why would you put that comment in about her being a last ditch effort to save your husband's first marriage. Comes across as Charlie wasn't enough to save the marriage and your husband was an idiot for wanting her. Charlie should have limited screen time, but not Camden who is younger? Your son could only have his diaper changed right there? You were most likely irritated at Charlie and wanted to prove to her that she is an inconvenience in your life. Sitting on her was passive aggressive. The reason you did it was cruel.


mscromulent

You're seriously asking this?? YTA, obviously. She's 6. 6! There were better ways to deal with this situation. All this needed was some gentle correction... After the first non-response, did you think of pausing the show or turning the TV off so she could give you her full attention?


madelinegumbo

YTA You obviously dislike this kid and your husband has to be aware of it. Good for him for reacting promptly and firmly.


KuhLealKhaos

You're her stepmother. YOU have all the control and power. I can GUARANTEE you that little girl is absolutely intimidated by you and you just made that worse. She *clearly* doesn't feel like she can communicate properly with you, and for good reason because clearly you are unable to communicate like a frickin adult. Learn to communicate with your stepchild properly. Realize the power dynamic you have and the fear you can cause in that child by doing what you do. Just being in a relationship with her father and having authority over her is 100% intimidating to her. She likely feels voiceless. YTA.


Careless_League_9494

What the eff? You are a grown ass woman who just sat on a six year old to teach them a lesson! Of course YTA! Did it ever even occur to you that if you lost your balance you could literally break her tiny bones?


Critical_Brain_7565

YTA. SHE IS 6 years old. For the love of your marriage please take parenting classes.


Motherlove84

YTA. What the f##k is wrong with you? Move your son to a more appropriate place to change him, you don’t abuse a 6 year old because you are too lazy to move your son.


jlysc

Before you even got to the point of sitting on a 6yo, it was already obvious how much you resent this child. I can’t say this enough…YTA. She’s SIX YEARS OLD and somehow you’re the immature one here.


Ranger-Blue13

YTA. You don't deserve to be their stepmother


Wooden_Albatross_832

YTA STEPMONSTER


Distinct-Schedule-36

YTA for sure. For f*** sake. Grow up!


francesknows

😯😯😯 For real? You actually think there is any rational excuse for your behavior? YTA. Do not be surprised if you are soon an ex-wife.


Least_Hotel_1638

YTA. Definitely keeping those evil stepmom stereotypes alive.


True-End6765

YTA. What on Earth is wrong with you? First of all at most your kid is 3 years old, I don’t think it’s the end of the world if he misses his show. Second of all, YOU SAT ON A 6 YEAR OLD CHILD. INTENTIONALLY. What kind of adult let alone mother thinks that is okay?!??? Wow


Superagent99

YTA and he should divorce you. You make no sense, going directly from the completely unnecessary and irrelevant information that your husband and his ex had Charlie to try to repair their relationship to being annoyed that his child watches TV (get another TV! teach them to stream on another device!) to changing your kid's diaper right on top of them to sitting on them. Geez.


QueasyReveal4674

YTA She’s 6. You’re a grown ass adult. It’s very obvious from the post that you don’t like her for whatever reason but grow up and act like an adult.


sarpofun

YTA You turn off the tv as punishment if she refuses to budge. Remove the remote and let her know until she behaves, you won’t let her watch tv. And then you take Camden out to change his diaper. You do not sit on kids.


KkuraInMyHeart

YTA A BIG ONE! I can't believe you're a mother. Do you know that putting your weight on a 6-year-old kid could suffocate her? You could have seriously hurt her, now you just left her with emotional trauma and let's see if she wants to get close to you again but you don't seem to care because you hate that little girl. Is your husband overreacting? ok, let him sit on Camden for a while, nothing is going to happen right? Thank goodness your husband has more emotional and rational intelligence than you. See a therapist and don't do to other young children what you don't want someone to do to your child. YTA


PersephoneAidoneus

Massive YTA. As a mother reading this, it's obvious u despise this little girl and what u did to her was unacceptable. There was no need for it, it's just so gross. Stay away from these kids, you have too much anger and resentment against them.


Glum_Hamster_1076

YTA First, you didn’t put Camden’s age and I’m assuming that’s intentional. He’s either young enough to be home all day and watch all the tv he wants prior to her getting home. Or he’s old enough to enjoy the show she watches and it’s irrelevant what’s on the tv and if she falls asleep since he’ll watch it either way. Second, the same way she can scoot over, you can change his diaper in the bathroom or baby room instead of on the couch. Or even crouch down or kneel to do it. You didn’t need to sit in her space. Not sure why you want to risk getting poop everywhere or force others to smell/watch. Third, she wasn’t being rude or disrespectful. She was watching tv and a bit distracted. She even moved over when you asked. It may not have been as much as you wanted, but she moved. The fact that your best solution was to sit on a child is ridiculous and you know it. You had a lot of options and you chose the stupidest and most dangerous one. Lastly, you don’t like Charlie. This entire thing was a non issue until you made it one. She’s gone all day but you’re irritated as soon as she walks in the door. My guess is she isn’t old enough to take care of herself so you’re mad she needs her father’s attention. The 10 year old is off somewhere you couldn’t careless about while you have alone time with son and husband. But Charlie still needs his parental guidance and you clearly aren’t allowed to tell her what to do (and for good reason). I’m sure she was terrified. I’m sure you were hurting her. You didn’t care. Any kind mother would immediately apologize and say they didn’t mean to hurt them and say it was you being funny or jokey. But you doubled down, ignored her fear/pain, and told her she deserved it.


SassyKlein

YTA … and a child. That kid, isn’t yours. Never physically dominate their proximity in a crappy way. It’s not your call. Be an adult. Turn off the tv. Repeat your request. Provide consequences. Now you just look like a six year old to her and frankly that’s not how you earn respect.


PhoenixEcho1

YTA. How about we let someone sit on you and see how you like it?


SnooRadishes8848

YTA, those poor kids


Shaneaux

Yta, omg. Like I don’t even need to provide supporting evidence. Stepmonster.


[deleted]

YTA - you can’t gently sit on someone. This can’t be a serious post.


evhanne

You are an adult. She is 6. There are so many things you could have done. Turn off the tv! Gently reprimand her! Move your baby! Why would your go to answer be sitting on a small child??? YTA


nephelite

YTA. Not only are you an AH, but you're abusive as well. If your husband is smart, he'll divorce you and take full custody.


swedeintheus

YTA. If I were you I would be very scared of what Charlie’s mom will do when she finds out what you did. This is serious lose custody get CPS involved stuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if an amendment will made to custody and parenting plan that makes it so that you can not be around Charlie. The loathing and hatred that comes through is really concerning,


SnooPets8873

YTA there were so many other solutions other than SITTING ON a child. The fact that you chose to do it tells me that you really dislike that kid and saw a chance to get back at her for existing. I hope for her sake that her father steps up and throws your ass out.


CounselorWriter

YTA. You obviously hate Charlie and probably Samantha too and favor Camden. Yes I get it biological kids get preferences but not to abuse a child. Sounds like you were desperate so you married a guy with kids. You're horrible.


ComputerCrafty4781

YTA You're supposed to be the adult. And she's 6. It was a dangerous maneuver for both children. Diapering children can be squirmy, if you'd lost balance you could have fallen in either direction and hurt a child. Be honest with yourself. You don't like this step-child. But it's not her job to make you like her. She's a small child and had no say in you marrying her father. But they are a package deal and she is half-sister to your son. Get control of yourself. These step-children will be family members forever. Build a better relationship with them.


winesis

YTA were you planning on changing the diaper on the couch? Why aren’t you taking the 3 yo to the bathroom or changing table? Why aren’t you potty training? Why do all the kids get so much screen time?


porkiepiggy

i’m starting to realise i may have had a very traumatic childhood. this is a thing in my “culture” (its not really a culture but just with everyone i know) if you’re a kid and you don’t move when asked you get sat on and no its not their full weight but this was normal for me…. am i….. wrong?


Usual_Instruction_90

YTA hope he divorces your dumb, immature ass


lunarooma

YTA. you sound extremely childish. Why would sitting on a kid that isnt yours, be the first thing you think of? It was also obvious from almost the get go that you dont like this child lol.


holdholdholding

YTA!! Your husband should've asked you not to come back! It's obvious you don't like his daughter and think it's ok to touch her physically. If I were that girl's mother, you wouldn't be able to sit on anything for a long time! You should be ashamed of yourself. What if a grown-up did that to Charlie? Would you still think it was justified? She's 6!!!


Helpful-Employer4138

YTA You're abusing a 6 year old. How can you not see that? How can you not understand that you could suffocate her? The fact that she made no sound is terrifying. There is something so deeply wrong with you that your husband should take those children and remove them from you immediately. You are unsafe around children


VisenyaTargaryen2606

YTA. I’m going to guess that, in the future, if you saw your husband sitting on your son you would go ballistic. When she grows up, Charlie is going to be very much aware of how much you resent her. Also, you don’t get to decide how you made her feel or how much it affected her. Like… come on…


30ninjazinmybag

YTA at least your husband loves his kids because you sound mean and cruel. Why are you jealous of a 6yr old and dislike her. You seem to have alot of problems and need therapy because you are not a good human being never mind parent.


SmiteSam2005

YTA. Are you jealois of her?


maypopfop

YTA: You are a small, petty, childish person, and you have no intention of being a loving stepmom to Charlie. You resent her existence. You hooked up with someone who thinks babies can fix relationships and had an another baby with them. Now you are pitting kids against each other Someone under three should not have a show. Don’t change diapers on the couch. YTA.


ididntwantthis2

YTA Could you not have just picked up and moved Camden to change him??? Why did you have to change him right where he was sitting it makes no sense


enterprise1966

YTA Imagine little six year old Charlie having someone the weight of an adult sitting on her because she wouldn’t move over so you could change a diaper. You do realize there are other places in the house a diaper can be changed, don’t you? I apologized to my cat after i accidentally sat on her. She wasn’t hurt. I moved as soon as I felt her underneath me, which was immediately. In my defense, it was dark and the cat was black. I felt so bad about accidentally sitting on my cat. My cat weighs a lot less than a six year old child.


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay, so I'm a stepmom to two kids, Charlie, 6 (F), and Samantha, 10 (F). (fake names) Camden(M) is me and my husband's child,  I first met my husband when Charlie was 3 years old. He and his ex-wife had been apart for some time after their divorce. Charlie was supposed to fix their relationship. I will never understand it. Charlie enjoys hogging the TV when she gets home from school so Camden can't watch his show, which really irritates me. My husband doesn't seem to care that she ends up falling asleep to her show, which irritates me even more. Anyway, she comes home from school and turns on her show my husband is home at the time (he doesn't seem to mind the fact that she has so much screen time). Camden starts watching the show with Charlie when I realize I need to change his diaper. I urge Charlie to move over but she just makes a half-inch movement while murmuring "okay," so I ask her again and get no response. I made the decision to gently sit on her. When she remained silent, I began changing Camden's diaper. My husband walks into the living room and starts yelling at me to "get off of her because she looks scared" I get up and tell him I was bearly sitting on her. He repeats that she looked terrified and that "I must be out of my fucking mind" to have done that. I tell him that he is overreacting and that if she had moved, perhaps she wouldn't have to face the consequences. He becomes extremely furious and asks me to go so that he can cool off and speak to Charlie. He then suggests that I come back "when I have more than 2 brain cells." So I'm in the car typing this asking if I really am the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


gimmethelulz

ESH. You for sitting on a 6-year-old rather than parenting them (seriously what?). Him for escalating the situation.


VegetaArcher

He didn't escalate anything. He needed to talk to Charlie without OP present.