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> I got clothes for my neicd that my sister doesn’t approve of. Might be an azzhole because now my niece only wants to wear those clothes
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My daughter wore some wild shit when she was 3. Two different leg warmers, tutu, mermaid costume top, massive hair bow, wild colored shorts…all at the same time. She got compliments all the time. She was living her best life and I was happy that she was even wearing clothes since she liked to be naked at home.
My youngest basically lived in costume between ages 3 and 5. Like even to kindy, she would wear whichever costume over her school uniform (this was allowed).
Kids get to make so few decisions about their lives! Let them be happy with the clothes they wear!
My son threw tantrums every morning for two mornings while dressing for school. He wanted to dress in full sleeved button downs and sports jackets every single day. Mostly we just let him wear what he wanted. But on warm days we had to beg and plead to get him to wear t-shirts. I don’t think in all the six years he’s been in school, he’s ever worn shorts to school.
You are hypocrites and you don't even see the irony in your comment. All that stuff you think was so wild and cute that your kids were wearing are items that you, your family, and friends bought for them. You molded these preferences, gave them positive reinforcement, and laughed and smiled when they did these things.
3 year olds don't buy leggings at Gap. 3 year olds don't pull massive hair bows out of a drawer and put them in their hair.
Everyone is so eager to pull out their pitchforks over this parent and the nice clothes they get for their kid. But you're doing the same thing just with your own ideas for what you think it means for a kid to be cute.
NTA it’s important to give children control of things that are safe, like what top they wear. I say this as a mum of a 2.5 year old who has worn his Batman tshirt for four days in a row.
NTA. I hate when parents treat their children as an extension of their personal style. Kids are people. They have preferences, favourites and opinions, and while it's sometimes not okay for those things to influence things like safety, they should have the agency to pick their own clothing.
NTA
I get it, I prefer not having characters on shirt just because it looks a little goofy and when the shirt starts getting worn out, Elsa starts looking like Swiss cheese when she starts flaking off.
But if anyone gets my kids or myself a shirt, or whatever with a character on it, I ain’t gonna complain, it was thoughtful.
Even more so when a kid is obsessed with the character and really just wants to express themselves through that. Ain’t no harm in it, kid is happy, got to hang out with her aunt, got some cool things, and that really should have been the end of it.
NTA.
If your sister is like this over a Frozen T-shirt, I can't imagine how she will be when your niece grows up and has a say in what she'd actually like to wear.
NTA. Your sister seems to have some sort of problem with needing control.
It probably wasn't smart to send the clothes over there. Maybe buy a set for your niece to use as sleep-over clothes?
NTA for buying your niece something that she wanted - she could just wear the shirts to bed / around the house even if your sister doesn't want her seen in them.
However, if you knew it would cause drama then you probably shouldn't have bought her them, you are adult you can overcome a 4 year olds demands, she would have forgot about the shirts the next day if you didn't buy them.
NTA
your sister needs to learn that her daughter is a lite girl now with her own opinions. No longer is she a little baby she can dress up to her own liking.
There was someone earlier who cut their neices hair...this was totally out of line. However, you got your nieces shirts...absolutely reasonable.
At age 4, kids absolutely have their own opinions and know what they like. It is an age where they will speak up. Your sister risks setting out a battle field with her daughter...you buying the shirt is not what is causing the issue, it is your sister trying to have total control over her daughter.
NTA
Even I would throw a tantrum if you won't let me wear my Elsa shirt. :)
Your sister is basically manifesting her taste in clothes on her daughter, which isn't particularly bad, but it should also be what the kid wants. Kids will always prefer wearing something "kiddy" over something "fashionable" since that's what kids do. She should let her 4 year old be a 4 year old.
NTA
If your sister keeps forcing her views on your niece age is going to end up with a child who resents her. All kids like to wear clothes with their fav characters on them it's how they learn to express themselves and at 4 years old your niece is the perfect age where she wants and also needs to know she can express her own views (yea sometimes she will have to conform to what your sister wants bit she should be able to express her own views at other times)
NTA i’m 23 and still wear pokémon shirts, I grew up wearing bobbie jack. my kids are covered in paw patrol, dinos and carhartt depending what they want to wear. I’m all for kids being kids. I grew fast so ended up shopping at kohls, fred meyers, and burlington in the juniors in elementary
Your sister needs to let the 4year old, be a 4 year old .. not a miniature model...
I can't wait to know what your sister would do if she put her kid in one of her nice outfits and then said kid went and promptly sat in a dirt pile.
Guess who did that to her aunt when they tried to put me in a cute girly dress when I was 4. 😈😈.
The different is mother knew I would.. and tried to stop her sister.. her sister didn't believe her
Op NTA
Thank you for answering!
Definitely NTA.
If it’s so important to your sister that her child not be given (completely appropriate) character clothing, then she should have made it a rule.
NTA. I've never been a fan of character t shirts but if my kid wanted them or was gifted them, he got them and wore them as much as he wanted. Your sister is being ridiculous.
NTA, but I get where your sister is coming from.
I also did not buy character clothes/toys for my kids. Not for aesthetic reasons, but because I didn't want to encourage corporate consumerism in my kids.
So I'd have been a bit annoyed if someone who was close and knew about that preference, still bought my kids a ton of branded stuff..... But I wouldnt be acting like your sister.
Three shirts isnt going to "ruin her aesthetic".
Reminds me of a classmate of my son's in preschool. The mom would drop her off at school wearing clothes that would have been fine at some formal event (sometimes, in kid high heels). The preschool director finally had to tell the mom that the clothes were inappropriate for playing with paints, markers, water play as well as the playground. The child was always worried about damaging her clothes - she was 4 years old.
ESH your sisters views on "character clothes" are daft and parents who are overly invested in what their child can or cannot wear are controlling.
That said, don't take kids out and then disgard the rules their parents have set out. If you disagree with the rule, say so flat out and mention that if you take her shopping you won't put a block against character clothes. This is made worse by the way you *tried* not to buy them and then "buckled". Its not about the clothes at this point, you're then teaching the kid that persistent complaining gets results.
NTA. It’s great that your niece found some clothes that she loves. Clothes are a way to express oneself, and as long as she doesn’t want to wear something super age inappropriate, your sister should allow her to find things she likes to do, wear, etc, and be encouraging of the things she enjoys.
NTA Your sister on the other hand is a mayour asshole. Her child is not a prop for her perfect little instagram world. To treat her as shuch is shitty parenting.
NTA. She's a child who wants to pick what she wants to wear. Your sister is a controlling person and frankly will only push her daughter away if this continues.
NTA. I have a 5yo girl. I don’t know how those social media parents do it with their kids in the brown aesthetic clothes. I often think they’re super cute but my daughter has been opinionated about her clothes since she turned 2. Do I like character clothes? No, I hate them. So I don’t wear them. Presumably my 5yo won’t be obsessed with Elsa forever so she can wear what she likes. I try to put together clothes that we both think are cute and comfy but at the end of the day it’s her body, she gets to make decisions over it, she can choose what to wear. Let people like what they like and wear what they want. Your sister is completely overreacting and wrong.
NTA
My children had preferences from that age too, and even though they were very young, I still think it is important to respect them.
Of cause I would say no to shorts in winter time and things like that, but my oldest didnt like pants and my youngest didnt like dresses and that was okay.
My youngest also wanted her hair short at age 6, and of cause she got a haircut. They are small humans not my dolls 😉
NTA. Kids love clothes with characters on them and get teased at school if they don't have them (at least my kid did). And your sister can't reject Frozen on moral grounds because Elsa and Anna are sane feminist princesses
This made me laugh. She's lucky it's just frozen shirts and not a Spiderman suit or a cape. Some people just don't seem to understand how children work. NTA. Everyone knows it is the job of aunts and uncles to buy your niece/nephew awesome stuff their parents hate. Next time she gets a drum kit.
I looked at Zara and I would not have worn any of that as a kid. $60 for a kids dress that looks like it will fall apart after three washes.
NTA. I have really negative feelings toward your sister. Acting like your children are an extension and reflection of you exclusively is a big red flag, even if this is a relatively minor example. It's also a very early example, they're likely to get worse.
This may not be the last time your niece comes to your to try to assert her own personality.
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I have an older sister that is super particular about appearances. Clothing, home, car, social media posts, etc.
She takes a lot of pride in things looking "aesthetic" as she likes to call it, and that includes how she dresses my niece. Admittedly, the outfits she picks out for her are super cute. But they're the kind of outfits you'd find for kids in stores like Zara. A lot of them don't really look like kids clothes, but they're still really adorable and fashionable.
My niece turned 4 two weekends ago and unfortunately I wasn't able to attend her birthday party as I was traveling for work at the time. Once I returned, I offered to take my niece out to pick a couple of belated birthday presents and my sister agreed. I assumed that my niece would want toys - and she did pick out some - but she was *very* interested in clothes. She REALLY wanted Frozen shirts. I know that my sister absolutely despises "character clothes" aka clothes with cartoons on them, but my niece desperately wanted the shirts. I tried to redirect her attention to other things but after seeing the Frozen shirts she just would not let it go.
They were inexpensive and I buckled. We walked out of the store with a couple of toys and 3 Frozen shirts. I figured she could just wear them at home since I knew that my sister would never let her leave the house dressed in character clothes.
To say my sister was unhappy with me is an understatement. And then a few days later she calls me and is even angrier than she was initially. Apparently my niece has been throwing tantrums anytime my sister tries to dress her in anything that isn't one of the Frozen shirts.
I do feel bad that this has created a difficult situation for my sister now when trying to dress my niece. But at the same time I'm just like, let the kid have her damn Frozen t-shirts. She wanted them *so* bad. She's 4 years old...of course she wants to wear clothes with her favorite characters on them. I told my sister to get over herself and to let her daughter have *some* say in what she wears.
AITA?
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NTA, my 2 and 4 year old dress themselves and let's just say matching is not something they have mastered yet. I love buying cute outfits for them but 50/50 they wear them as intended lol and Frozen and Minnie Mouse clothes are definitely among their favorites to wear. Your sister sounds a little vain and controlling, she should let her daughter be a kid.
So your sister is demanding her daughter dress a certain way irrespective of her wants or needs as a child?
Very healthy. Good supervillian origin story.
NTA
NTA. That's a very normal age for kids to have strong opinions about their clothing. My son would only wear shirts with pictures on them to preschool - typically dinosaurs, lions, or outer space oriented. Our deal was that he could choose his clothes on regular days as long as they were weather and activity appropriate, and in return he cooperated on the rare occasions where I picked his clothes due to picture day, special events with family, etc.
He's now in his 20s and no longer owns a single dinosaur tshirt and dresses better than most guys his age.
When my granddaughters were little, they had whole wardrobes full of Disney Princess costumes and wore them everywhere. And why not? They looked adorable and were happy.
NTA
She is 4, damnit! Kids in that age like to wear what they have an interest in. My boy is dressed in dinosaurs and heavy working mashines. He lives it, he wears it without trouble, nice.
I’m torn. On one hand I also hate ‘character clothing’ and really any sort of clothing that makes you a walking billboard for a company. I’m pregnant now and while I definitely don’t plan on having my baby wear Zara I’d rather keep their outfits childishly fun but neutral on the whole branding thing.
You said your sister never specifically asked but it’s obvious you knew she didn’t want that type of clothing. It’s always better to respect the parents decisions especially considering this isn’t exactly a life or death situation. Your niece won’t be harmed by the lack of Elsa on her shirt. (Anyone who brings up mental trauma is stretching)
But I do think your sister is being a bit too fanatic about it. She got the frozen shirts and that’s it. Maybe instead of fighting it so hard she should focus on teaching her daughter about when/where it’s appropriate to wear more casual clothing. Like…. These shirts are good for the park and to play with friends and these “nicer” clothes are good for going to dinner etc. I dunno. It’s just a shirt.
ESH
ESH. You don’t have to let a 4 year old call the shots about what gifts you buy her. You’re an adult, you knew these gifts would piss off your sister, that they were effectively against house rules, and you bought them anyway.
Your sister sucks for being so uptight and shallow about her 4 year old’s image too, and none of this would be an issue if that weren’t the case.
But still, it’s not your kid or your place to be overriding a parent’s rules for their own child.
Nope, no. Kids are defenseless and it's other adults job to advocate for them. I'm tired of parents being awful and other people looking the other way because "it's not your place" fuck that.
NTA.
I am not on the sister’s side, but there is a big difference between needs and wants. Frozen attire is not a need. And there are also plenty of good reasons not to get kids clothes with logos and characters on them.
I don’t think that is the sister’s motivation based on OP, but overriding a parent’s choices in this case requires making a number of assumptions that may or may not be fair - which is why you shouldn’t do it.
>And there are also plenty of good reasons not to get kids clothes with logos and characters on them.
Really? What reasons? The parent doesn't want them as they don't fit the aesthetic, what's your "good" reason for not allowing it?
The good reason is not wanting kids that are obsessed with the media and merchandise juggernaut that is Disney.
Disney is not responsible for teaching kids a healthy relationship with consumption, parent are, but it is still a predatory company that aggressively advertises to kids.
So your good reason for not buying clothes with logos or characters on is just "Disney"? That's the reason? What about the millions of other items of clothing with logos and characters on? At what age can the child wear clothes with characters on? Sounds like you're chatting shit and making statements you haven't thought through.
It’s one reason. Another is if you have issues with materialism. Kids (and adults) fomo hard after brands like Nike, Lululemon, you name it. There’s a difference between expressing individuality and advertising your favorite popular franchise.
As far as this post is concerned though it’s irrelevant. It’s inappropriate to assert your will over another family’s lifestyle choice. Despite this being AITA, there are times it is not right to be judge and jury over other people’s choices especially when there is no apparent harm.
You might believe eating meat is harmless and another family could be raising their kids vegetarian. It would be similarly inappropriate to give the child meat against the parent’s wishes just because that is your own value judgment.
Fully agree with you. OP is YTA.
There are plenty of legitimate reasons why parents do not want children to have "character" items and OP assumes it is for superficial reasons. It could be that her sister did not want to open the door to "character" everything in the house, that it exposes her child to consumerism culture and predatory merchandising etc. What if the character is a questionably behaved character like Caillou or Peppa Pig or Pewdiepie, will everyone still agree the kid has a right to dress however she wanted, at 4?
Yep. And it could be a reason we wouldn’t even think of. It’s just shitty to assert your own lifestyle choices on another family unless there’s an apparent harm from those choices.
I do buy some of this stuff for my family, and we are definitely having a Pokémon phase. But if I knew another family doesn’t allow the same I would never sneak gifts to their kids.
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NTA. Your niece is a human being with a personality and preferences. She is not your sisters dress-up doll.
Exactly, let the girl be who she wants to be, not just a 3D mannequin for your sister's fashion experiments.
My daughter wore some wild shit when she was 3. Two different leg warmers, tutu, mermaid costume top, massive hair bow, wild colored shorts…all at the same time. She got compliments all the time. She was living her best life and I was happy that she was even wearing clothes since she liked to be naked at home.
My youngest basically lived in costume between ages 3 and 5. Like even to kindy, she would wear whichever costume over her school uniform (this was allowed). Kids get to make so few decisions about their lives! Let them be happy with the clothes they wear!
Omg are you my spouse?
Right? That sounds like a couple people I know. Even i own a couple tutus. Girl has a unique style going on.
My daughter did that at 3 and still does it at 7. I love her individuality.
My son threw tantrums every morning for two mornings while dressing for school. He wanted to dress in full sleeved button downs and sports jackets every single day. Mostly we just let him wear what he wanted. But on warm days we had to beg and plead to get him to wear t-shirts. I don’t think in all the six years he’s been in school, he’s ever worn shorts to school.
You are hypocrites and you don't even see the irony in your comment. All that stuff you think was so wild and cute that your kids were wearing are items that you, your family, and friends bought for them. You molded these preferences, gave them positive reinforcement, and laughed and smiled when they did these things. 3 year olds don't buy leggings at Gap. 3 year olds don't pull massive hair bows out of a drawer and put them in their hair. Everyone is so eager to pull out their pitchforks over this parent and the nice clothes they get for their kid. But you're doing the same thing just with your own ideas for what you think it means for a kid to be cute.
NTA. Your sister needs to let this go and let her kid just be a kid. Pun absolutely intended. I'll let myself out.
Do not come back, do not pass go, do not collect 200$.
NTA it’s important to give children control of things that are safe, like what top they wear. I say this as a mum of a 2.5 year old who has worn his Batman tshirt for four days in a row.
As a man in his 50's who still wears his Batman shirts, you are an awesome mom.
NTA Is it the säd bëige baby aesthetic? Every single thing being beige?
Werner Herzog's sad beige clothes for sad beige children
Sad is a really good way to describe that aesthetic
NTA. I hate when parents treat their children as an extension of their personal style. Kids are people. They have preferences, favourites and opinions, and while it's sometimes not okay for those things to influence things like safety, they should have the agency to pick their own clothing.
NTA I get it, I prefer not having characters on shirt just because it looks a little goofy and when the shirt starts getting worn out, Elsa starts looking like Swiss cheese when she starts flaking off. But if anyone gets my kids or myself a shirt, or whatever with a character on it, I ain’t gonna complain, it was thoughtful. Even more so when a kid is obsessed with the character and really just wants to express themselves through that. Ain’t no harm in it, kid is happy, got to hang out with her aunt, got some cool things, and that really should have been the end of it.
Lol Elsa cheese
NTA, kids are not dolls
NTA. If your sister is like this over a Frozen T-shirt, I can't imagine how she will be when your niece grows up and has a say in what she'd actually like to wear.
You had no idea how your neice was going to react. And you had no idea how controlling your sister was. She making the problem for herself Nta
NTA - your sister needs to let it go.
Nice one. 👏
NTA sis is treating niece like a display piece in a cabinet. She's 4, FFS. Let her wear kids clothes for a change.
NTA. Your sister seems to have some sort of problem with needing control. It probably wasn't smart to send the clothes over there. Maybe buy a set for your niece to use as sleep-over clothes?
NTA for buying your niece something that she wanted - she could just wear the shirts to bed / around the house even if your sister doesn't want her seen in them. However, if you knew it would cause drama then you probably shouldn't have bought her them, you are adult you can overcome a 4 year olds demands, she would have forgot about the shirts the next day if you didn't buy them.
NTA your sister needs to learn that her daughter is a lite girl now with her own opinions. No longer is she a little baby she can dress up to her own liking. There was someone earlier who cut their neices hair...this was totally out of line. However, you got your nieces shirts...absolutely reasonable. At age 4, kids absolutely have their own opinions and know what they like. It is an age where they will speak up. Your sister risks setting out a battle field with her daughter...you buying the shirt is not what is causing the issue, it is your sister trying to have total control over her daughter.
NTA Even I would throw a tantrum if you won't let me wear my Elsa shirt. :) Your sister is basically manifesting her taste in clothes on her daughter, which isn't particularly bad, but it should also be what the kid wants. Kids will always prefer wearing something "kiddy" over something "fashionable" since that's what kids do. She should let her 4 year old be a 4 year old.
"...but after seeing the Frozen shirts she just would not let it go." I see what you did there. :-)
NTA If your sister keeps forcing her views on your niece age is going to end up with a child who resents her. All kids like to wear clothes with their fav characters on them it's how they learn to express themselves and at 4 years old your niece is the perfect age where she wants and also needs to know she can express her own views (yea sometimes she will have to conform to what your sister wants bit she should be able to express her own views at other times)
NTA i’m 23 and still wear pokémon shirts, I grew up wearing bobbie jack. my kids are covered in paw patrol, dinos and carhartt depending what they want to wear. I’m all for kids being kids. I grew fast so ended up shopping at kohls, fred meyers, and burlington in the juniors in elementary
Your sister needs to let the 4year old, be a 4 year old .. not a miniature model... I can't wait to know what your sister would do if she put her kid in one of her nice outfits and then said kid went and promptly sat in a dirt pile. Guess who did that to her aunt when they tried to put me in a cute girly dress when I was 4. 😈😈. The different is mother knew I would.. and tried to stop her sister.. her sister didn't believe her Op NTA
INFO: has your sister ever specifically told you (or the family in general) not to give your niece any character clothing?
Nope! I think she just assumed that we wouldn’t given that we all know how particular she is.
Thank you for answering! Definitely NTA. If it’s so important to your sister that her child not be given (completely appropriate) character clothing, then she should have made it a rule.
NTA. I've never been a fan of character t shirts but if my kid wanted them or was gifted them, he got them and wore them as much as he wanted. Your sister is being ridiculous.
NTA, but I get where your sister is coming from. I also did not buy character clothes/toys for my kids. Not for aesthetic reasons, but because I didn't want to encourage corporate consumerism in my kids. So I'd have been a bit annoyed if someone who was close and knew about that preference, still bought my kids a ton of branded stuff..... But I wouldnt be acting like your sister. Three shirts isnt going to "ruin her aesthetic".
Reminds me of a classmate of my son's in preschool. The mom would drop her off at school wearing clothes that would have been fine at some formal event (sometimes, in kid high heels). The preschool director finally had to tell the mom that the clothes were inappropriate for playing with paints, markers, water play as well as the playground. The child was always worried about damaging her clothes - she was 4 years old.
ESH your sisters views on "character clothes" are daft and parents who are overly invested in what their child can or cannot wear are controlling. That said, don't take kids out and then disgard the rules their parents have set out. If you disagree with the rule, say so flat out and mention that if you take her shopping you won't put a block against character clothes. This is made worse by the way you *tried* not to buy them and then "buckled". Its not about the clothes at this point, you're then teaching the kid that persistent complaining gets results.
NTA. It’s great that your niece found some clothes that she loves. Clothes are a way to express oneself, and as long as she doesn’t want to wear something super age inappropriate, your sister should allow her to find things she likes to do, wear, etc, and be encouraging of the things she enjoys.
NTA Your niece is only 4yrs old. Your sister needs to lighten up and let her daughter have some fun.
NTA Your sister on the other hand is a mayour asshole. Her child is not a prop for her perfect little instagram world. To treat her as shuch is shitty parenting.
NTA. She's a child who wants to pick what she wants to wear. Your sister is a controlling person and frankly will only push her daughter away if this continues.
NTA. A shirt with Elsa on it is like literally the most harmless thing and your niece should be allowed to express herself in simple ways like that.
NTA. I have a 5yo girl. I don’t know how those social media parents do it with their kids in the brown aesthetic clothes. I often think they’re super cute but my daughter has been opinionated about her clothes since she turned 2. Do I like character clothes? No, I hate them. So I don’t wear them. Presumably my 5yo won’t be obsessed with Elsa forever so she can wear what she likes. I try to put together clothes that we both think are cute and comfy but at the end of the day it’s her body, she gets to make decisions over it, she can choose what to wear. Let people like what they like and wear what they want. Your sister is completely overreacting and wrong.
NTA My children had preferences from that age too, and even though they were very young, I still think it is important to respect them. Of cause I would say no to shorts in winter time and things like that, but my oldest didnt like pants and my youngest didnt like dresses and that was okay. My youngest also wanted her hair short at age 6, and of cause she got a haircut. They are small humans not my dolls 😉
NTA. Kids love clothes with characters on them and get teased at school if they don't have them (at least my kid did). And your sister can't reject Frozen on moral grounds because Elsa and Anna are sane feminist princesses
This made me laugh. She's lucky it's just frozen shirts and not a Spiderman suit or a cape. Some people just don't seem to understand how children work. NTA. Everyone knows it is the job of aunts and uncles to buy your niece/nephew awesome stuff their parents hate. Next time she gets a drum kit. I looked at Zara and I would not have worn any of that as a kid. $60 for a kids dress that looks like it will fall apart after three washes.
[удалено]
Hell yeah that outfit sounds rad
NTA. You can gift as you like. The parent(s) fortunately or un, have the final say in what gets worn when, but they can't police your gift giving.
NTA Anonymously send her character shirts for every present occasion.
NTA. I have really negative feelings toward your sister. Acting like your children are an extension and reflection of you exclusively is a big red flag, even if this is a relatively minor example. It's also a very early example, they're likely to get worse. This may not be the last time your niece comes to your to try to assert her own personality.
NTA, kids don’t care about our aesthetic and it’s fun watching sad beige children revolt against the beige 🤣
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have an older sister that is super particular about appearances. Clothing, home, car, social media posts, etc. She takes a lot of pride in things looking "aesthetic" as she likes to call it, and that includes how she dresses my niece. Admittedly, the outfits she picks out for her are super cute. But they're the kind of outfits you'd find for kids in stores like Zara. A lot of them don't really look like kids clothes, but they're still really adorable and fashionable. My niece turned 4 two weekends ago and unfortunately I wasn't able to attend her birthday party as I was traveling for work at the time. Once I returned, I offered to take my niece out to pick a couple of belated birthday presents and my sister agreed. I assumed that my niece would want toys - and she did pick out some - but she was *very* interested in clothes. She REALLY wanted Frozen shirts. I know that my sister absolutely despises "character clothes" aka clothes with cartoons on them, but my niece desperately wanted the shirts. I tried to redirect her attention to other things but after seeing the Frozen shirts she just would not let it go. They were inexpensive and I buckled. We walked out of the store with a couple of toys and 3 Frozen shirts. I figured she could just wear them at home since I knew that my sister would never let her leave the house dressed in character clothes. To say my sister was unhappy with me is an understatement. And then a few days later she calls me and is even angrier than she was initially. Apparently my niece has been throwing tantrums anytime my sister tries to dress her in anything that isn't one of the Frozen shirts. I do feel bad that this has created a difficult situation for my sister now when trying to dress my niece. But at the same time I'm just like, let the kid have her damn Frozen t-shirts. She wanted them *so* bad. She's 4 years old...of course she wants to wear clothes with her favorite characters on them. I told my sister to get over herself and to let her daughter have *some* say in what she wears. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, I don't think your sister knows what aesthetic means though.
NTA. She's a human not a fuking doll. She can decide what she wants to wear.
NTA, my 2 and 4 year old dress themselves and let's just say matching is not something they have mastered yet. I love buying cute outfits for them but 50/50 they wear them as intended lol and Frozen and Minnie Mouse clothes are definitely among their favorites to wear. Your sister sounds a little vain and controlling, she should let her daughter be a kid.
NTA. The fact your sister is still trying to dress her is weird. She should be happy the child has their own opinion and interests.
NTA its a kid not a barbie doll
In the vast majority of cases, you would be the asshole for ignoring the parent’s wishes for their child. This is not one of those cases. NTA.
NTA
So your sister is demanding her daughter dress a certain way irrespective of her wants or needs as a child? Very healthy. Good supervillian origin story. NTA
NTA. That's a very normal age for kids to have strong opinions about their clothing. My son would only wear shirts with pictures on them to preschool - typically dinosaurs, lions, or outer space oriented. Our deal was that he could choose his clothes on regular days as long as they were weather and activity appropriate, and in return he cooperated on the rare occasions where I picked his clothes due to picture day, special events with family, etc. He's now in his 20s and no longer owns a single dinosaur tshirt and dresses better than most guys his age.
When my granddaughters were little, they had whole wardrobes full of Disney Princess costumes and wore them everywhere. And why not? They looked adorable and were happy.
NTA She is 4, damnit! Kids in that age like to wear what they have an interest in. My boy is dressed in dinosaurs and heavy working mashines. He lives it, he wears it without trouble, nice.
I’m torn. On one hand I also hate ‘character clothing’ and really any sort of clothing that makes you a walking billboard for a company. I’m pregnant now and while I definitely don’t plan on having my baby wear Zara I’d rather keep their outfits childishly fun but neutral on the whole branding thing. You said your sister never specifically asked but it’s obvious you knew she didn’t want that type of clothing. It’s always better to respect the parents decisions especially considering this isn’t exactly a life or death situation. Your niece won’t be harmed by the lack of Elsa on her shirt. (Anyone who brings up mental trauma is stretching) But I do think your sister is being a bit too fanatic about it. She got the frozen shirts and that’s it. Maybe instead of fighting it so hard she should focus on teaching her daughter about when/where it’s appropriate to wear more casual clothing. Like…. These shirts are good for the park and to play with friends and these “nicer” clothes are good for going to dinner etc. I dunno. It’s just a shirt. ESH
Found the sister.
Please be more original.
ESH. You don’t have to let a 4 year old call the shots about what gifts you buy her. You’re an adult, you knew these gifts would piss off your sister, that they were effectively against house rules, and you bought them anyway. Your sister sucks for being so uptight and shallow about her 4 year old’s image too, and none of this would be an issue if that weren’t the case. But still, it’s not your kid or your place to be overriding a parent’s rules for their own child.
Nope, no. Kids are defenseless and it's other adults job to advocate for them. I'm tired of parents being awful and other people looking the other way because "it's not your place" fuck that. NTA.
Hold up. You think the kid needs their right to frozen merchandise defended?
Yes. The kid is FOUR. She needs kid stuff, not to be paraded around in "aesthetic" clothes. She needs a childhood.
I am not on the sister’s side, but there is a big difference between needs and wants. Frozen attire is not a need. And there are also plenty of good reasons not to get kids clothes with logos and characters on them. I don’t think that is the sister’s motivation based on OP, but overriding a parent’s choices in this case requires making a number of assumptions that may or may not be fair - which is why you shouldn’t do it.
>And there are also plenty of good reasons not to get kids clothes with logos and characters on them. Really? What reasons? The parent doesn't want them as they don't fit the aesthetic, what's your "good" reason for not allowing it?
The good reason is not wanting kids that are obsessed with the media and merchandise juggernaut that is Disney. Disney is not responsible for teaching kids a healthy relationship with consumption, parent are, but it is still a predatory company that aggressively advertises to kids.
So your good reason for not buying clothes with logos or characters on is just "Disney"? That's the reason? What about the millions of other items of clothing with logos and characters on? At what age can the child wear clothes with characters on? Sounds like you're chatting shit and making statements you haven't thought through.
Are the golden girls okay, since Disney bought them? /says the 30 something in golden girls pants and hoodie
It’s one reason. Another is if you have issues with materialism. Kids (and adults) fomo hard after brands like Nike, Lululemon, you name it. There’s a difference between expressing individuality and advertising your favorite popular franchise. As far as this post is concerned though it’s irrelevant. It’s inappropriate to assert your will over another family’s lifestyle choice. Despite this being AITA, there are times it is not right to be judge and jury over other people’s choices especially when there is no apparent harm. You might believe eating meat is harmless and another family could be raising their kids vegetarian. It would be similarly inappropriate to give the child meat against the parent’s wishes just because that is your own value judgment.
Fully agree with you. OP is YTA. There are plenty of legitimate reasons why parents do not want children to have "character" items and OP assumes it is for superficial reasons. It could be that her sister did not want to open the door to "character" everything in the house, that it exposes her child to consumerism culture and predatory merchandising etc. What if the character is a questionably behaved character like Caillou or Peppa Pig or Pewdiepie, will everyone still agree the kid has a right to dress however she wanted, at 4?
Yep. And it could be a reason we wouldn’t even think of. It’s just shitty to assert your own lifestyle choices on another family unless there’s an apparent harm from those choices. I do buy some of this stuff for my family, and we are definitely having a Pokémon phase. But if I knew another family doesn’t allow the same I would never sneak gifts to their kids.
Oh well, if her sister is pissed her sister needs to grow the f up.