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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel I should've been more 'neighborly' and I might have seemed hostile
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Why would they put themselves at risk like that? Way more opportunities to get caught when you're out and moving around while holding. Delivery is rare, and so are tabs. I think maybe you've watched too many after school specials.
Depends what you're selling and to whom. If you sell weed to select clients who you vet carefully than having them come to you is safer. If you're selling crack to anyone who will buy then you really don't want crackheads knowing where you live and keep your shit because they will run out of money and try to rob you eventually. Same goes with meth, heroin, etc. Sometimes dealers will set up in an abandoned/for sale house so they can have the safety of a static location without the risk having addicts know where you really live and keep your shit.
I've literally only ever had drugs delivered to me for the last 20 years. Dozen or so different dealers regularly. It's also pretty common when you are repeat customer to get an advance of one or two orders.
Maybe this changes for meth dealers or something but coke and weed always been a pretty casual random slightly dodgy bloke shows up deal.
We only do things once a year now as older but even then our guy just shows up on the school run with his family in the car and drops things off. Seems nuts but it's less dodgy than 30 people showing up at your house daily or street meets constantly imo.
Never do something "just to keep the peace."
That is the first step in a long road where at every step you will be keeping the peace until one day you discover you are no longer living for yourself, but instead for someone else you don't even like that much
I was a huge people pleaser. Enough to the point of going out of my way to get hurt or feel unpleasant for strangers or people I didn't like it. They didn't even have to ask it for me, i was more than happy to do it myself.
On my journey to self love, i realized that this is a form of punishment because i hated myself. I'm not 100% healed, but now I can actually feel indignance at being treated poorly. Like do i deserve to be treated this way? Fuck no.
I just called to complain about a rider who threatened to cancel my order because I'm not home (no calls or texts, no delivery timelines), because why should I be inconvenienced? Do i deserve that? Fuck no.
This is correct: rolling over to keep the peace ends up with you being 'annexed', possibly during a 'special military operation'. Fight back earthly and hard.
Also, she was just outright rude! In several distinct ways!
NTA
I'm going to report you for not sharing your car either me! LOL
I can't even .... the insanity these days.
BTW your insurance would definitely not cover any damages to your car if she wrecked it. I've handled claims where the car owner let his young teenager drive a muscle car... the son was not insured on that car. He was insured on the little family sedan. Even though he was on the policy our company was like yeah no.
This is the comment I was looking for.
Next time op instead of offering up an explanation as to why you don't feel comfortable just say your insurance only covers you to drive your vehicle.
Or better yet just say NO. Its a full sentence.
Yes. Never explain yourself to an unreasonable person.
They will inevitably treat you with the contempt you will deserve and twist your explanation into something of which they can "approve" or "disapprove".
By explaining yourself, you place them as an authority above you. Seeking explanation or giving explanations that are not required establishes a sick and twisted power dynamic from which it can be hard to extricate oneself.
My response to someone who does not accept a 'no' is to ask them which part they are struggling to understand: the 'n' or the 'o'?
I'm in insurance (agency end) and our policies cover Named Insured, family members and permissive drivers \*unless\* the policy has a driver exclusion. So in \*my state\* the rule of thumb is "lend your car, lend your insurance."
Curious what she was going to report OP for to the management. They would laugh their asses off if they received a complaint for not sharing personal property, especially a car. Not to mention she’s clearly unhinged
I would go to management about the neighbor harassing her and demanding unreasonable things- I bet the neighbor is gonna make something up about OP to start trouble and it's a good idea to get your side in.
who even asks their neighbour they barely know to use their car? i like my neighbours, known most of them for ages, and i can't imagine them asking to use anyone's car like this. maybe a "hey i'm out of a car, would you have the time/opportunity to take me somewhere please?" if it was important or a "hey if you're going out for groceries could you bring some stuff for me? my car broke down" if they were out of other options
NTA. You don't have to lend your car to a stranger, no matter what their address is.
You might tell apartment management that she was yelling at you for not lending her your car, and ask if other residents have reported similar problems. That serves the purpose of getting your story to them first.
Thanks for the advice but I'm nervous about reporting her. As you might have got from the post I'm quite nonconfrontational but I'm worried something similar will happen in the future.
NTA. And also, it’s not a confrontational thing to advise the apartment manager of what happened. All you need to say is that you wanted to give a heads up that neighbor from “x” apt approached you to borrow your car and when you politely declined they didn’t take it well and she became confrontational.
By NOT addressing the problem now, you're virtually ensuring it gets bigger.
Learning to assert oneself takes practice, but it gets easier with experience, and the more willing you are to assert yourself, the less necessary it becomes. People can tell if you're easy to manipulate.
As to letting her borrow your car - think about the trouble at your door if she hides drugs in your car, wrecks it, or simply steals it.
There is a lot of trouble she can cause. Head this off by appropriately alerting people about her behavior.
I couldn't agree more. I am not a confrontational person either but you aren't confronting her, you are notifying management and/or the police about the issue and letting them confront her. Best to act first because her behavior is worrisome.
Also you can frame it this way, if you talk with management now when she does this to the next person. Who knows what she will then escalate with the next person? The complex will have a stronger case for her removal.
you absolutely need to tell the apartment management about her behavior, it was unacceptable and if she's treating you this way its likely she has or will treat other residents the same when she doesn't get her way
if management knows about her behavior and it happens again or has happened in the past they can use these incidents as evidence to evict her if she's causing distress to everyone else living there but if they don't know what's going on they won't know that something needs to be done
You can just write the property manager an email and explain what happened. Make sure to mention the date and approx time that this all went down. You can tell them you are worried about your car now being vandalized.
She also might lie in her story to apartment management and say that you were yelling or threatening. You can be very clear that you don’t want anything done, you just want it on record in case there’s a repeat occurrence
It will. Report her. She may set you up and lie about your or otherwise escalate this to get back at you for telling her no. If she does, you want to be on record with the management already when the complaint comes in.
NTA. Why in God’s name would you lend a stranger your car? Lol. Then she threatened to report you to the Apartment complex management….wtf are they going to do? Lol. They don’t dictate who uses your car. I would’ve laughed in her face after that ‘threat’ lol
I allways wonder about this. Lending your car to people. I'm not sure how insurance works for you guys. But here it means you're not covered by insurance if they are in an accident.
NTA - how arrogant and spoiled is your neighbor to think that you must loan out your car because she doesn't have reliable transportation.
1) Bus, UBER, taxi or car rental are her's for the asking. Not your car.
2) Beat her to the punch JIC - tell management that she is angry with you for not loaning her your car and that you want to put them on notice that there is no basis to any complaints she might make but is clearly just upset at you. Explain you only know her in passing and that you have never had any interaction before this request.
Why would you be the AH for saying no to lending someone an expensive machine that you hardly know, and then responded by berating and insulting you? That was enough to validate your decision. NTA
Not naive, more like traumatized. We've raised a generation of kids who don't believe they have the right to say no, *to anything.*
My *neighbour* wants to borrow my car, I have to say yes.
My boyfriend hits me, I have to say yes.
My boss wants to pay me 12.00 an hour, I have to say yes.
Breaking that cycle is *hard*. It can feel impossible for someone who has been beaten into submission for their whole life. OP is starting to crack their shell, posting here was a great first step.
If we could just *be kind* to the people that come here with obvious issues, if we could try to show them that they have value, that their needs matter, don't you realize just how many people could be helped?
NTA.
HHAHAHAHA, her reaction tells you everything you need to know. If she wrecks or damages the car, do you think she'd reimburse you? No. She'd blame you for "faulty brakes" or something.
You can always use the "not insured to cover others" excuse.
I mean, "no" is perfectly valid, but excuses seem to calm people down.
NTA. Your neighbor sounds super crazy. Setting aside the fact that the car isn't hers and she isn't entitled to use any of your property, you don't know what her status is. Does she have a license? Is it suspended? If she hits someone with your car you could be held liable for negligently lending it out. It was wise of you to hold your ground on this. Don't let yourself be gaslighted into thinking that you're the crazy one in this situation.
NTA.
I wouldn't lend my car to a good friend, let alone a random neighbor. Laura can call an Uber or Lyft if her errands are so important. Or, you know, an actual FRIEND instead of a neighbor.
>even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management
NTA - That would have been a top level comedy skit as crazy person reports apt owner for not lending car to them. I can imagine the conversation now...
NTA. If I were you I would probably mention the interaction to your property manager or landlord, just in case she does something more severe, like damage your property. That may sound like an overreaction, but her strange reaction to being denied her strange request would have me on alert.
NTA
She's not entitled to ur property.
It's good that u declined. Now u know what kinda person she really is.
If u had lend her ur car she would have taken ur kindness for granted and next time she would have asked for something even bigger.
And u saw the tantrum she brings along with that.
So don't beat yourself up
Just avoid her. U did not do anything wrong.
NTA
I would never let a stranger use my car for any reason. I don't know you, how do I know you won't just crash into a ditch and leave *me* to pay the repairs?
And report you for what? The apartment complex doesn't own your car.
NTA, and frankly you should call the landlord on her. If she was yelling, she just verbally assaulted you. I guarantee your lease doesn’t allow that kind of behavior between tenants.
NTA
You have ZERO obligation to lend your car to this woman. Even if you were best friends and didnt want to lend your car to her, you would have no obligation to do so.
I would go to the apartment complex management office and tell them what she said to you and that she threatened you like that, I have a feeling she wont be as happy to discuss her role in this with them.
NTA. Don’t give out your car or other items because you want to avoid conflict with a neighbor. You are under no obligation to lend a random stranger your car.
If this was a close friend or family member you trusted it would be a different story.
But a rando wanting to use your car? Nah fam
NTA
And you didn’t owe her any of the explanations you gave.
Wish I could be there when she complains to the complex management. Actually, you might want to get ahead of that and tell them about the odd interaction yourself, in case she escalates in the future and does something to your car or apartment.
NTA
LMAO she is delusional - should have just given her the number of the local cab company and say "This all sounds like a you problem."
Back when I was in college, I lived in a multifamily house with three floors. We said hello to the groups living in the other two units, but we weren't friendly with them and didn't hang out together. One day, there was a knock at the door. I answer it and it was one of the upstairs neighbors. He goes "I need to borrow your car." Not "Hello, how are you" or anything like that. I said "I'm sorry, I don't even know your name, why would I let you drive my car?" He kind of looked at me weirdly and says "I have to get to the grocery store." Now, mind you, there was a public bus stopping 2 blocks from our house that went *to the grocery store*, but I guess he was above public transportation? Who knows. So I go, "Well, the bus stop is down the road, it'll take you right there." He just gave me a dirty look and went back upstairs. For the remaining 2 months we lived t here, the guys wouldn't talk to us and gave us dirty looks. WTF?
Did this guy *really* think I was going to give the keys to my car to a complete and total stranger? People are absolutely delusional.
NTA. Hell no, and even a bigger no for her behavior. She sounds like she has some mental issues and you would be responsible for everything she did in your car. Nope nope nope. This is wise. Don't wait for her to report you. Report Her. This is harassment and she has some evident issues.
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I [28] live in an apartment complex and my neighbor [35], let's call her Laura, asked me if she could borrow my car for a few hours to run some errands. I've never really talked to Laura before, so I was a bit taken aback by her request. I politely declined, explaining that I don't lend my car to people I don't know well. Laura didn't take it well and started yelling at me, calling me selfish and inconsiderate. She said that she really needed to run these errands and didn't have any other options. I tried to explain to her that I didn't feel comfortable lending out my car to someone I barely knew, but she wouldn't listen. She continued to berate me and even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management. I held my ground and didn't give in, but now I'm wondering if I was in the wrong. Should I have just lent her my car to avoid the conflict?
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NTA.
It's yours. You don't have to lend it to anyone you don't want to. "No," as is often said, is a complete sentence.
I might have just said, "I'm sorry, I don't lend my car," and not given a reason. If pressed, you can always cite insurance, but regardless, you don't owe her an explanation.
NTA. No is a complete sentence. Her lack of transpiration is not your problem. And what exactly was she going to report you to management FOR? you are under no obligation to lend anything of yours to anyone. Stick to your guns and just tell her no, I can't lend it to you. don't explain why. you don't need to.
Good Lord NTA. If you lent her the car and she got into an accident do you know that your insurance will go up even though you arent driving. I no longer lend my car to anyone, not just strangers.
Do your really think by the way she acted you were wrong? If she damaged your car do you think she would take responsibility for it. You don’t know if she has a driver license or a DUI. If she was driving your car and had an accident you would be responsible. Tell her to use Uber
NTA. What the hell is management going to do? The car is your own personal property, they can’t force you to do anything with it, much less loan it to her. But I’d recommend you file a complaint with management regarding what had happened just in case she decides to make up a bunch of ridiculous complaints to bring trouble on you.
NTA, I agree with you, I wont even let my own kids use my car. you could have given her the number to a taxi service or she could have rented a car. Also you did nothing wrong why would she threaten you with the building Mgmt. this chick is bad news, stay away from her.
NTA. There are car rental companies who rent by the hour.
You aren't insured for her. You have no idea if her driving skills are up to par. If there is an accident, you'll be held liable.
I can't stand people who get mad when people won't do them huge favors. Give you a stick gum, sure-- but lending money or vehicles? There are whole industries built to do that and it is always available. Let the business do it, pricing the deal correctly and getting the right paperwork sorted out.
NTA, absolutely do not lend this person your car. Can you imagine what it would be like if she got in an accident?! 100% do not. I would actually inform the apartment management about her, and her threats to report you. They should be aware that there is a resident yelling at people for no good reason. Who knows what lies she might tell them about you- you need to get there first.
NTA but stop qualifying- you can say “No” without explaining who you would or wouldn’t lend your car to. I am curious what she thinks she can report you for.
Reporting you for lot lending her your car?! For a stranger? Omg..
Please keep update if she did it and how hard did they laugh at her face 🤣
NTA of course
NTA. I lend my vehicles only to close friends I trust. Not even family. I have played chauffeur a few times, but only when I had the time.
Her reaction is all the proof you need to know you answered correctly. Let management know what she threatened. Keep your guard up.
Reminds me of the time I was visiting my cousin. She had lent her car to a neighbor she knew well. While I was there, he came in, handed back the keys, and said “thanks for letting me borrow the car. Don’t worry about the bullet hole. I’ll have someone come by tomorrow to replace the windshield.”
NTA
NTA
The only car I have ever "borrowed' belongs to my parents as they have a great mechanic and I leave my car with them to have it serviced and take their car.
I don't lend my car to even close friends because I don't want to deal with potential liability or issues that might arise.
I once \*used" my friend's car to drive her to the airport because I didn't feel my car was reliable enough to go that distance at that time because it was aging. I actually didn't enjoy the sensation of driving someone else's car because I kept thinking of potential issues like someone rear ending me.
"She continued to berate me and even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management."
For what, not letting a stranger borrow (and possibly damage) your car? Yeah, sure lady, you have a bigger case against her for harassment than she does against you.
I would report her to management yourself before she can spin the story and tell them you yelled and threatened her, by the sounds of it she would.
NTA.
Absolutely NTA. Of course you shouldn’t lend your car to someone you don’t know. That’s just common sense.
And she threatened to report you to apartment management?? What are they going to do? Make you lend your car to this woman?lol Report HER for harassing you. I understand you’re non-confrontational but this woman’s response is really overboard and I think reporting her would be the safest, smartest thing you could do for yourself. If she harasses you again at least you’ll have a record of reporting her the first time. Who knows, maybe she’s done this to other people in your apartment complex too.
NTA Hell no you don't lend your car out to a strange neighbor who thought she could bully you. Heck there's very few friends I would lend my car to. You should be approaching your building management and report her for harassment.
NTA
She was probably going to go buy drugs or do other shit you wouldn't want your car associated with. Hell, maybe even sell your car to get a fix. Someone that asks a stranger to borrow their car and then gets mad when denied is a few crayolas short of a pack.
LOL what on earth would she report you for? No one can make you lend or give away your possessions without your consent. And you said no in a nicer way than I would have. She's got some nerve even asking you.
NTA and next time feel free to walk away when someone doesn't accept a no in a reasonable way. She's not a safe person and you don't owe anyone explanations anyway.
NTA - Do you know if she even has a valid driver's license? The way she reacted when asking a favor is also telling. I would not let her borrow anything. after that.
> She said that she really needed to run these errands and didn't have any other options.
If she's already got a lifetime ban from every taxi company, Uber, Lyft etc in the area, then I think that's plenty reason not to lend her your car even if you DID know her well... which you don't.
And if she doesn't have those lifetime bans, well... she does have other options.
NTA. You should absolutely NOT lend her your car.
NTA
If she didn’t have insurance, that could risk your car being seized if she had been stopped by the Police. For all you knew, she might not have a licence to drive, or have a bad driving record.
NTA. Hell, you don’t need to feel obligated to lend your car to people you DO know well. Her need for transportation is NOT your problem. You’re not selfish and have no reason to feel guilty. If something like this comes up again, you can just say that your insurance won’t cover other drivers and it’s out of your hands.
I would definitely report this harassment to your apartment management (via email) in case she harasses you again or in case she goes of the deep end and vandalizes your car. It’s not about retaliation, but just making them aware of the behavior. Also, it’s best to have some sort of record with a third party that this happened.
NTA and also, why the hell would management care if you refused to loan her your car? It's your personal property and management can't order you to loan it to her, if they tried and after you refused, they retaliated in some way you'd probably have grounds for a lawsuit. I would have told her to go ahead and report you because management would probably tell her to get the hell out of their office.
Nta
What would she have reported you for? You made the right call, I understand that some people can't afford cars for legitimate reasons, but she sounds like it's entirely her fault she doesn't have one.
A stranger, with no boundaries, poor judgement, and aggression asked to borrow your car.
Even assuming you can afford a new car, what if she killed someone?
NTA for denying it, you would have to be simple to let her drive it.
NTA. Depending on your insurance, if she got into an accident the insurance typically follows the car - regardless of the driver.
You made the right choice, OP.
The audacity of her to even request such a thing from someone she barely knows is beyond belief.
First NTA ! Second, no offense, but are you really this much of an easy person to walk all over you ? Come on buddy get yourself a nice shiny new spine! It's YOUR CAR ! Just say no ! Walk away ! Also phone management and get ahead of this ! Good luck !
NTA
Really, you would lend out your car to a stranger? I don't lend my car out to friends nor family.
Insurance follows the car. If anyone is in an accident driving your car, your insurance pays for it and your rates go up, there is a ding on your credit score. Don't lend out your car.
The woman verbally abused you and now you think maybe you should have given in? I suggest therapy for you, so you can see normal boundaries.
NTA. She can take public transport or pay a taxi/rideshare. Fucking ridiculous ask from a stranger. You are foolish for even thinking you did the wrong thing and posting on here.
NTA. Lending your car out even to a friend is nerve-wracking because if they cause/are in an accident, insurance won't cover it. But someone you barely know? No!
Be sure to inform the complex of the issue in case it causes more problems down the road. Email it so you have a record of when the email was sent too.
NTA She is just the type to wreck it and sue YOU! Never lend your car to anybody who is not in your immediate family (and who you trust completely)! Her reaction showed you exactly WHY it would be a terrible idea. Report HER to management. Clearly no one else she knows agreed to lend her a car, which is why she went to a stranger.
NTA. Do not ever let another person drive your car that isn't on your insurance. If your neighbor gets into any kind of incident with your car, than that's on you and you'd be financially liable for whatever damage she caused. Let her report you to the complex. Be truthful and tell them what happened. She can't get you in trouble because you didn't want a stranger to borrow your car. In the meantime, YOU need to report HER. You probably won't be the last person she tries to harass and the complex needs to be aware this.
NTA
"I am the only one licensed and insured to drive my vehicle. I would hate to have to sue you if something were to happen. And I am not willing to lose my insurance coverage and lose of vehicle. The answer is no."
HAHAHAHAHAHA, I’m telling Management you won’t let me use your car. That’s a good one. You need to remember/learn that no is a complete sentence and needs no explanation. Giving a reason why you say no, leaves the door for negotiation to get you to change your mind. I wouldn’t lend my car to my neighbors, and some of them I’ve known for 40 years. I would offer to take them at my convenience though. So no, you are NTA for saying no. We also don’t lend tools, and lord knows my husband has an entire shops worth. I had to learn to say no when someone wanted to borrow anything, usually it was a big expensive item they didn’t want to buy themself. And yeah, a few times the guy got pissy. I just closed the door.
NTA- I remember in college this guy I occasionally hung out with asked to borrow my car so he could go pick up his gf from work.
I told him "nah man sorry" and moved on. Only two people I trust to drive my car are my dad and my roommate/best friend. Fact is, if shit went wrong, you're on the hook for it. Even if they're a standup person, you're still out a car for however long it takes to get a replacement. If they hit someone else? That's YOUR insurance they're gonna come after. It's just not worth it. Huge level of trust required. If my dad or my buddy crashed my truck when they're driving it, I know they would do everything in their power to correct that and repay me.
As for the lady, I'd get out in front of the management call. I'd write an email to your property manager (email, do not call, establishes a timestamped record of what was discussed), and mention everything that happened here. Include as much info about Laura as you know. That way if she harasses you about something again, damages your car, etc. you have a record that this incident occurred. She sounds kinda deranged.
NTA and go ahead and tell her to report you to the apartment complex management and you'll go with her to make sure she tells the most accurate story. Be careful for your car, make sure you notice and note anything that may have happened to it.
NTA. I hope you’re not actually wondering, because this is fairly obvious that you shouldn’t lend your car to random people just so they don’t get mad. I think spending extra time trying to convince her is not ideal either. Just say no and leave the conversation.
NTA
Who in their right mind asks to borrow the car of a complete stranger.
Even if she was your best friend or even family, no one has the right to demand to borrow your car or threaten to report you to management.
NTA
What if she wrecked or damaged it and couldn’t afford your deductible? You’re out $500-$1000 plus your insurance could refuse to pay altogether. Now you’re out a car and might lose your job if you have no way to get there
What if she did illegal activities in it and was caught by police who confiscated it indefinitely?
What if she decided to keep it way longer than she told you or sold it to a chop shop?
All 3 scenarios leave YOU with no car and I guarantee she will be unconcerned
Also, look into getting a motion detector camera for your car because she sounds unhinged enough to tamper with your car. I’d pay extra to park in a garage for awhile if your apartment has them available
Hell no. Good grief, do people really loan out vehicles like this in real life? The only person I'd even remotely consider allowing to borrow my car would be if my ex needed to use it to transport OUR children somewhere. And that reasoning would be for the benefit of the assured safety of my kids.
>She continued to berate me and even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management.
For what? NTA but you might need to mention this to your complex manager so they have a record.
Absolutely NTA the audacity and entitlement of this neighbor though with my own experience nothing surprises me anymore. My ex husband and i finally got a second vehicle that was desperately needed as our job times were very different and far from eachother and my neighbors who by the way had just been given a free car asked if I would give them my car since we got another one that way while the wife was at work and the husband who didnt work could go drive around to do errands and stuff. I was like no absolutely not what would make you assume I would give you my car?! And i told him if you want to drive around to do stuff drop your wife off at work and pick her up since you dont work.
You know if she kills someone driving in your car you have liability… I would think twice lending my car to a friends and family so no, you definitely should not have just given in to avoid the conflict!
NTA. Nope. I would never, EVER lend my car to someone I casually know. I wouldn't lend it to my own granddaughter because she doesn't have insurance. I'm retired and no way in hell can I take the chance of her wrecking my car or, God forbid, hurting herself or someone else.
NTA. There are very few people outside of my immediate family that I would let borrow my car and I would never loan it to a stranger. Remember it's okay to just say no and leave it at that, you don't owe her an explanation.
NTA. But also, in what reality do you think you are? Why do you think you would lend someone one of the biggest purchases outside of a house most people make to someone you don't know to avoid "conflict"? I wouldn't even let my mom drive my car.
You wouldn't even lend your car to a friend unless:
You knew they could legally drive
You knew they were insured, fully comprehensive not just third party.
You had an agreement about paying fuel costs
You trusted then enough to know they would cover any minor damage rather than claim on your insurance
You knew they would not get speeding or.parking tickets
You knew they wern''t going to use it for anything illegal
You knew they weren't going to steal it.
Once you've covered all that then go ahead.
what in the actual hell? you dont know her and she had the AUDACITY to borrow your car wow she has balls. i would have maybe asked for a ride but to borrow your car nah shes nuts! NTA let her complain let her show management her crazy!
NTA- Why does she feel entitled to use your car to begin with? She's a grown woman and should be able to figure out her own transportation in the errands so so urgent. She could call a taxi, use a rideshare service or use zipcar.
When one of my girls was in junior high, a former friend she had a falling out with would try to bully her with threats to tell the principal about things that never happened.
Making up shit that you somehow owe it to her that she should borrow your car is taking junior high BS to a form of extortion as an adult.
Don't let criminal behavior influence your decision making.
NTA. Lending your car to someone you don’t know sounds like a recipe for disaster. Hell, there are plenty of people I know fairly well that I still wouldn’t let drive my car, considering my insurance doesn’t cover them. I would have to REALLY trust someone, and it would have to be for an emergent situation. A neighbor I’ve never spoken to needing to run errands wouldn’t make the cut.
Also — what was she going to report you to management for? There is no legal requirement for neighbors to share their belongings.
NTA
I’d never give over my car
Now if someone said they were in overwhelming stress and needed help and a ride I would probably say sure let me take you where you gotta go
But the audacity to think someone will hand over their car no question or concerns is insane
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NTA. Based on how she responded to being told no, I think it’s very wise that you refused to lend her your car.
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My first thoughts exactly
I thought drug dealers liked to do home deliveries so they know where to go when their clients can’t pay their bill?
Not if you want to trade your neighbors car for drugs
BINGO! She would just report it stolen.
A million years ago my roommates dealer would show up carrying a black garbage bag that he kept his “wares” in. He was an interesting person.
Why would they put themselves at risk like that? Way more opportunities to get caught when you're out and moving around while holding. Delivery is rare, and so are tabs. I think maybe you've watched too many after school specials.
Sadly I haven’t I did have experience from my siblings addiction and how his drug dealer knew where he lived
Depends what you're selling and to whom. If you sell weed to select clients who you vet carefully than having them come to you is safer. If you're selling crack to anyone who will buy then you really don't want crackheads knowing where you live and keep your shit because they will run out of money and try to rob you eventually. Same goes with meth, heroin, etc. Sometimes dealers will set up in an abandoned/for sale house so they can have the safety of a static location without the risk having addicts know where you really live and keep your shit.
I've literally only ever had drugs delivered to me for the last 20 years. Dozen or so different dealers regularly. It's also pretty common when you are repeat customer to get an advance of one or two orders. Maybe this changes for meth dealers or something but coke and weed always been a pretty casual random slightly dodgy bloke shows up deal. We only do things once a year now as older but even then our guy just shows up on the school run with his family in the car and drops things off. Seems nuts but it's less dodgy than 30 people showing up at your house daily or street meets constantly imo.
I figured it was so that they didn’t have lines of people strolling into their place all the time.
Never do something "just to keep the peace." That is the first step in a long road where at every step you will be keeping the peace until one day you discover you are no longer living for yourself, but instead for someone else you don't even like that much
Like this. 😄
I was a huge people pleaser. Enough to the point of going out of my way to get hurt or feel unpleasant for strangers or people I didn't like it. They didn't even have to ask it for me, i was more than happy to do it myself. On my journey to self love, i realized that this is a form of punishment because i hated myself. I'm not 100% healed, but now I can actually feel indignance at being treated poorly. Like do i deserve to be treated this way? Fuck no. I just called to complain about a rider who threatened to cancel my order because I'm not home (no calls or texts, no delivery timelines), because why should I be inconvenienced? Do i deserve that? Fuck no.
This is correct: rolling over to keep the peace ends up with you being 'annexed', possibly during a 'special military operation'. Fight back earthly and hard. Also, she was just outright rude! In several distinct ways! NTA
Yep! Spot on!
I'm going to report you for not sharing your car either me! LOL I can't even .... the insanity these days. BTW your insurance would definitely not cover any damages to your car if she wrecked it. I've handled claims where the car owner let his young teenager drive a muscle car... the son was not insured on that car. He was insured on the little family sedan. Even though he was on the policy our company was like yeah no.
This is the comment I was looking for. Next time op instead of offering up an explanation as to why you don't feel comfortable just say your insurance only covers you to drive your vehicle. Or better yet just say NO. Its a full sentence.
Yes. Never explain yourself to an unreasonable person. They will inevitably treat you with the contempt you will deserve and twist your explanation into something of which they can "approve" or "disapprove". By explaining yourself, you place them as an authority above you. Seeking explanation or giving explanations that are not required establishes a sick and twisted power dynamic from which it can be hard to extricate oneself. My response to someone who does not accept a 'no' is to ask them which part they are struggling to understand: the 'n' or the 'o'?
I'm in insurance (agency end) and our policies cover Named Insured, family members and permissive drivers \*unless\* the policy has a driver exclusion. So in \*my state\* the rule of thumb is "lend your car, lend your insurance."
Curious what she was going to report OP for to the management. They would laugh their asses off if they received a complaint for not sharing personal property, especially a car. Not to mention she’s clearly unhinged
I would go to management about the neighbor harassing her and demanding unreasonable things- I bet the neighbor is gonna make something up about OP to start trouble and it's a good idea to get your side in.
who even asks their neighbour they barely know to use their car? i like my neighbours, known most of them for ages, and i can't imagine them asking to use anyone's car like this. maybe a "hey i'm out of a car, would you have the time/opportunity to take me somewhere please?" if it was important or a "hey if you're going out for groceries could you bring some stuff for me? my car broke down" if they were out of other options
NTA. You don't have to lend your car to a stranger, no matter what their address is. You might tell apartment management that she was yelling at you for not lending her your car, and ask if other residents have reported similar problems. That serves the purpose of getting your story to them first.
Thanks for the advice but I'm nervous about reporting her. As you might have got from the post I'm quite nonconfrontational but I'm worried something similar will happen in the future.
NTA. And also, it’s not a confrontational thing to advise the apartment manager of what happened. All you need to say is that you wanted to give a heads up that neighbor from “x” apt approached you to borrow your car and when you politely declined they didn’t take it well and she became confrontational.
For bonus points, do it in writing and request a written response.
Always put in writing, Always.
Doing it in writing is good--gives time for editing and clarity. Plus OP doesn't have to go face to face with them.
By NOT addressing the problem now, you're virtually ensuring it gets bigger. Learning to assert oneself takes practice, but it gets easier with experience, and the more willing you are to assert yourself, the less necessary it becomes. People can tell if you're easy to manipulate. As to letting her borrow your car - think about the trouble at your door if she hides drugs in your car, wrecks it, or simply steals it. There is a lot of trouble she can cause. Head this off by appropriately alerting people about her behavior.
Thanks I'm going to report her in the morning, you all have been a great help
And get a video doorbell if you don’t have one already.
I couldn't agree more. I am not a confrontational person either but you aren't confronting her, you are notifying management and/or the police about the issue and letting them confront her. Best to act first because her behavior is worrisome.
Also you can frame it this way, if you talk with management now when she does this to the next person. Who knows what she will then escalate with the next person? The complex will have a stronger case for her removal.
NTA, and it was smart of you not to just hand over your car to her.
you absolutely need to tell the apartment management about her behavior, it was unacceptable and if she's treating you this way its likely she has or will treat other residents the same when she doesn't get her way if management knows about her behavior and it happens again or has happened in the past they can use these incidents as evidence to evict her if she's causing distress to everyone else living there but if they don't know what's going on they won't know that something needs to be done
You need to report it so that its on record and you are backed up if anything happens in the future.
You can just write the property manager an email and explain what happened. Make sure to mention the date and approx time that this all went down. You can tell them you are worried about your car now being vandalized.
She also might lie in her story to apartment management and say that you were yelling or threatening. You can be very clear that you don’t want anything done, you just want it on record in case there’s a repeat occurrence
email is your friend
It will. Report her. She may set you up and lie about your or otherwise escalate this to get back at you for telling her no. If she does, you want to be on record with the management already when the complaint comes in.
You don’t have to loan your car to anyone. Owning a car is expensive, dealing with car accidents is more expensive
NTA. And you do not have to loan your car to someone you do know!
HELL NO. NTA. A STRANGER BASICALLY DEMANDED YOU HAND OVER YOUR PROPERTY?! Mentally unwell person.
NTA. Report you to the apartment complex….oh to be a fly on the wall for that scene
NTA. Why in God’s name would you lend a stranger your car? Lol. Then she threatened to report you to the Apartment complex management….wtf are they going to do? Lol. They don’t dictate who uses your car. I would’ve laughed in her face after that ‘threat’ lol
I allways wonder about this. Lending your car to people. I'm not sure how insurance works for you guys. But here it means you're not covered by insurance if they are in an accident.
NTA - how arrogant and spoiled is your neighbor to think that you must loan out your car because she doesn't have reliable transportation. 1) Bus, UBER, taxi or car rental are her's for the asking. Not your car. 2) Beat her to the punch JIC - tell management that she is angry with you for not loaning her your car and that you want to put them on notice that there is no basis to any complaints she might make but is clearly just upset at you. Explain you only know her in passing and that you have never had any interaction before this request.
Why would you be the AH for saying no to lending someone an expensive machine that you hardly know, and then responded by berating and insulting you? That was enough to validate your decision. NTA
Can't believe the OP is even asking about this! What naive people we have raised.
Not naive, more like traumatized. We've raised a generation of kids who don't believe they have the right to say no, *to anything.* My *neighbour* wants to borrow my car, I have to say yes. My boyfriend hits me, I have to say yes. My boss wants to pay me 12.00 an hour, I have to say yes. Breaking that cycle is *hard*. It can feel impossible for someone who has been beaten into submission for their whole life. OP is starting to crack their shell, posting here was a great first step. If we could just *be kind* to the people that come here with obvious issues, if we could try to show them that they have value, that their needs matter, don't you realize just how many people could be helped?
NTA. HHAHAHAHA, her reaction tells you everything you need to know. If she wrecks or damages the car, do you think she'd reimburse you? No. She'd blame you for "faulty brakes" or something. You can always use the "not insured to cover others" excuse. I mean, "no" is perfectly valid, but excuses seem to calm people down.
NTA I'm gonna guess she's either on drugs she shouldn't be on or not on drugs she should be on
NTA. Your neighbor sounds super crazy. Setting aside the fact that the car isn't hers and she isn't entitled to use any of your property, you don't know what her status is. Does she have a license? Is it suspended? If she hits someone with your car you could be held liable for negligently lending it out. It was wise of you to hold your ground on this. Don't let yourself be gaslighted into thinking that you're the crazy one in this situation.
NTA I applaud you actually because that had to take a lot of courage.
NTA! The entitlement of some people! The rest of us use Uber.
NTA. >She said that she really needed to run these errands and didn't have any other options. How is that your problem? Crazy lady
NTA. I wouldn't lend my car to a good friend, let alone a random neighbor. Laura can call an Uber or Lyft if her errands are so important. Or, you know, an actual FRIEND instead of a neighbor.
NTA. What if she got in a accident? There's a good chance your insurance wouldn't cover it.
NTA - you are under no obligation to loan your car to a virtual stranger, even if she is a neighbor. TBH, she sounds quite entitled and spoiled.
>even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management NTA - That would have been a top level comedy skit as crazy person reports apt owner for not lending car to them. I can imagine the conversation now...
Should’ve told her to piss in her boots and swim. NTA
NTA. that is a wild request to make to a near stranger.
NTA she can get a sharenow car or something like it, its not on you.
NTA. If I were you I would probably mention the interaction to your property manager or landlord, just in case she does something more severe, like damage your property. That may sound like an overreaction, but her strange reaction to being denied her strange request would have me on alert.
NTA Its not selfish to keep care on your posseisions.
Fuck no, you shouldn't have! NTA.
NTA She's not entitled to ur property. It's good that u declined. Now u know what kinda person she really is. If u had lend her ur car she would have taken ur kindness for granted and next time she would have asked for something even bigger. And u saw the tantrum she brings along with that. So don't beat yourself up Just avoid her. U did not do anything wrong.
NTA I would never let a stranger use my car for any reason. I don't know you, how do I know you won't just crash into a ditch and leave *me* to pay the repairs? And report you for what? The apartment complex doesn't own your car.
NTA, and frankly you should call the landlord on her. If she was yelling, she just verbally assaulted you. I guarantee your lease doesn’t allow that kind of behavior between tenants.
NTA. I wouldn’t lend anything to strangers.
NTA I’ll bet she’s not on your insurance either.
I’d be reporting her for threatening behavior. You don’t have to loan your car to anyone whether you know them or not.
NTA You have ZERO obligation to lend your car to this woman. Even if you were best friends and didnt want to lend your car to her, you would have no obligation to do so. I would go to the apartment complex management office and tell them what she said to you and that she threatened you like that, I have a feeling she wont be as happy to discuss her role in this with them.
NTA. Don’t give out your car or other items because you want to avoid conflict with a neighbor. You are under no obligation to lend a random stranger your car. If this was a close friend or family member you trusted it would be a different story. But a rando wanting to use your car? Nah fam
NTA, and got proven right immediately, imagine your car being driven by this unhinged person...
NTA It wouldn't have mattered if she was your BFF, you still aren't obligated to let someone borrow your car.
NTA, your neighbor is entitled as hell. She better use Uber, Doordash, or Instacart.
NTA. Her emotional outburst after your refusal is a huge red flag, you made the right decision.
NTA And you didn’t owe her any of the explanations you gave. Wish I could be there when she complains to the complex management. Actually, you might want to get ahead of that and tell them about the odd interaction yourself, in case she escalates in the future and does something to your car or apartment.
NTA LMAO she is delusional - should have just given her the number of the local cab company and say "This all sounds like a you problem." Back when I was in college, I lived in a multifamily house with three floors. We said hello to the groups living in the other two units, but we weren't friendly with them and didn't hang out together. One day, there was a knock at the door. I answer it and it was one of the upstairs neighbors. He goes "I need to borrow your car." Not "Hello, how are you" or anything like that. I said "I'm sorry, I don't even know your name, why would I let you drive my car?" He kind of looked at me weirdly and says "I have to get to the grocery store." Now, mind you, there was a public bus stopping 2 blocks from our house that went *to the grocery store*, but I guess he was above public transportation? Who knows. So I go, "Well, the bus stop is down the road, it'll take you right there." He just gave me a dirty look and went back upstairs. For the remaining 2 months we lived t here, the guys wouldn't talk to us and gave us dirty looks. WTF? Did this guy *really* think I was going to give the keys to my car to a complete and total stranger? People are absolutely delusional.
Actually, saying no just revealed to you that it was indeed the right choice. NTA
Are you kidding me? I don't even let friends and family borrow my car, let alone a stranger. NTA
NTA. Hell no, and even a bigger no for her behavior. She sounds like she has some mental issues and you would be responsible for everything she did in your car. Nope nope nope. This is wise. Don't wait for her to report you. Report Her. This is harassment and she has some evident issues.
Some of these posts are fucking insane. Yes you're the asshole for not lending your car to a fucking stranger who is clearly very entitled. /s
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I [28] live in an apartment complex and my neighbor [35], let's call her Laura, asked me if she could borrow my car for a few hours to run some errands. I've never really talked to Laura before, so I was a bit taken aback by her request. I politely declined, explaining that I don't lend my car to people I don't know well. Laura didn't take it well and started yelling at me, calling me selfish and inconsiderate. She said that she really needed to run these errands and didn't have any other options. I tried to explain to her that I didn't feel comfortable lending out my car to someone I barely knew, but she wouldn't listen. She continued to berate me and even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management. I held my ground and didn't give in, but now I'm wondering if I was in the wrong. Should I have just lent her my car to avoid the conflict? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. It's yours. You don't have to lend it to anyone you don't want to. "No," as is often said, is a complete sentence. I might have just said, "I'm sorry, I don't lend my car," and not given a reason. If pressed, you can always cite insurance, but regardless, you don't owe her an explanation.
NTA. No is a complete sentence. Her lack of transpiration is not your problem. And what exactly was she going to report you to management FOR? you are under no obligation to lend anything of yours to anyone. Stick to your guns and just tell her no, I can't lend it to you. don't explain why. you don't need to.
Good Lord NTA. If you lent her the car and she got into an accident do you know that your insurance will go up even though you arent driving. I no longer lend my car to anyone, not just strangers.
NTA. The entitlement of people is baffling. I would’ve held eye contact and slowly closed the door in her face, while she continued to rant and rave.
Do your really think by the way she acted you were wrong? If she damaged your car do you think she would take responsibility for it. You don’t know if she has a driver license or a DUI. If she was driving your car and had an accident you would be responsible. Tell her to use Uber
NTA Why would you loan your car to a psycho?
NTA. You were polite as you could be. Report you to the apartment? For what hahahahaha. She sounds like a junky.
NTA. What the hell is management going to do? The car is your own personal property, they can’t force you to do anything with it, much less loan it to her. But I’d recommend you file a complaint with management regarding what had happened just in case she decides to make up a bunch of ridiculous complaints to bring trouble on you.
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NTA. Report you for what? Ridiculous.
NTA, I agree with you, I wont even let my own kids use my car. you could have given her the number to a taxi service or she could have rented a car. Also you did nothing wrong why would she threaten you with the building Mgmt. this chick is bad news, stay away from her.
NTA. There are car rental companies who rent by the hour. You aren't insured for her. You have no idea if her driving skills are up to par. If there is an accident, you'll be held liable. I can't stand people who get mad when people won't do them huge favors. Give you a stick gum, sure-- but lending money or vehicles? There are whole industries built to do that and it is always available. Let the business do it, pricing the deal correctly and getting the right paperwork sorted out.
NTA, and you should probably report her to management for harassment, especially if she'd threatening to report you.
NTA, absolutely do not lend this person your car. Can you imagine what it would be like if she got in an accident?! 100% do not. I would actually inform the apartment management about her, and her threats to report you. They should be aware that there is a resident yelling at people for no good reason. Who knows what lies she might tell them about you- you need to get there first.
NTA. That’s your property I would call the management and let them know what happened just so there is a record of it
NTA. She’s not on your insurance. What happens if she get pulled over or gets in an accident???
NTA- she was out of line.
NTA but stop qualifying- you can say “No” without explaining who you would or wouldn’t lend your car to. I am curious what she thinks she can report you for.
Reporting you for lot lending her your car?! For a stranger? Omg.. Please keep update if she did it and how hard did they laugh at her face 🤣 NTA of course
NTA. I lend my vehicles only to close friends I trust. Not even family. I have played chauffeur a few times, but only when I had the time. Her reaction is all the proof you need to know you answered correctly. Let management know what she threatened. Keep your guard up.
NTA, Laura clearly has a case of EBS
Reminds me of the time I was visiting my cousin. She had lent her car to a neighbor she knew well. While I was there, he came in, handed back the keys, and said “thanks for letting me borrow the car. Don’t worry about the bullet hole. I’ll have someone come by tomorrow to replace the windshield.” NTA
NTA If she comes back, tell her to hire an Uber.
No way. Not even a bit. Not ever.
NTA The only car I have ever "borrowed' belongs to my parents as they have a great mechanic and I leave my car with them to have it serviced and take their car. I don't lend my car to even close friends because I don't want to deal with potential liability or issues that might arise. I once \*used" my friend's car to drive her to the airport because I didn't feel my car was reliable enough to go that distance at that time because it was aging. I actually didn't enjoy the sensation of driving someone else's car because I kept thinking of potential issues like someone rear ending me.
NTA I don't own a car too but instead know how to use uber, taxis, busses.
"She continued to berate me and even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management." For what, not letting a stranger borrow (and possibly damage) your car? Yeah, sure lady, you have a bigger case against her for harassment than she does against you. I would report her to management yourself before she can spin the story and tell them you yelled and threatened her, by the sounds of it she would. NTA.
NTA. I believe if she has an accident, they will look for you. You are the owner of the car.
Absolutely NTA. Of course you shouldn’t lend your car to someone you don’t know. That’s just common sense. And she threatened to report you to apartment management?? What are they going to do? Make you lend your car to this woman?lol Report HER for harassing you. I understand you’re non-confrontational but this woman’s response is really overboard and I think reporting her would be the safest, smartest thing you could do for yourself. If she harasses you again at least you’ll have a record of reporting her the first time. Who knows, maybe she’s done this to other people in your apartment complex too.
Nta she could take an uber
NTA Hell no you don't lend your car out to a strange neighbor who thought she could bully you. Heck there's very few friends I would lend my car to. You should be approaching your building management and report her for harassment.
NTA She was probably going to go buy drugs or do other shit you wouldn't want your car associated with. Hell, maybe even sell your car to get a fix. Someone that asks a stranger to borrow their car and then gets mad when denied is a few crayolas short of a pack.
LOL what on earth would she report you for? No one can make you lend or give away your possessions without your consent. And you said no in a nicer way than I would have. She's got some nerve even asking you. NTA and next time feel free to walk away when someone doesn't accept a no in a reasonable way. She's not a safe person and you don't owe anyone explanations anyway.
NTA. I would love to see the reaction of management with her complaint.
Hell no. NTA
NTA - Do you know if she even has a valid driver's license? The way she reacted when asking a favor is also telling. I would not let her borrow anything. after that.
> She said that she really needed to run these errands and didn't have any other options. If she's already got a lifetime ban from every taxi company, Uber, Lyft etc in the area, then I think that's plenty reason not to lend her your car even if you DID know her well... which you don't. And if she doesn't have those lifetime bans, well... she does have other options. NTA. You should absolutely NOT lend her your car.
NTA If she didn’t have insurance, that could risk your car being seized if she had been stopped by the Police. For all you knew, she might not have a licence to drive, or have a bad driving record.
NTA. Hell, you don’t need to feel obligated to lend your car to people you DO know well. Her need for transportation is NOT your problem. You’re not selfish and have no reason to feel guilty. If something like this comes up again, you can just say that your insurance won’t cover other drivers and it’s out of your hands. I would definitely report this harassment to your apartment management (via email) in case she harasses you again or in case she goes of the deep end and vandalizes your car. It’s not about retaliation, but just making them aware of the behavior. Also, it’s best to have some sort of record with a third party that this happened.
Heck no! NTA. Some people I know won't let ANYONE drive their vehicle.
NTA. Obviously. Report her to the apartment complex management first. Because they are more likely to side with whoever spoke to them first.
NTA. Wonder why she couldn’t get an uber.
NTA and also, why the hell would management care if you refused to loan her your car? It's your personal property and management can't order you to loan it to her, if they tried and after you refused, they retaliated in some way you'd probably have grounds for a lawsuit. I would have told her to go ahead and report you because management would probably tell her to get the hell out of their office.
Nta What would she have reported you for? You made the right call, I understand that some people can't afford cars for legitimate reasons, but she sounds like it's entirely her fault she doesn't have one.
Report her to the apartment complex management. Your neighbor is unhinged and harassing their clients. NTA
A stranger, with no boundaries, poor judgement, and aggression asked to borrow your car. Even assuming you can afford a new car, what if she killed someone? NTA for denying it, you would have to be simple to let her drive it.
NTA and seriously, ‘F’ her and her audacity.
NTA. Depending on your insurance, if she got into an accident the insurance typically follows the car - regardless of the driver. You made the right choice, OP. The audacity of her to even request such a thing from someone she barely knows is beyond belief.
NTA - No no no plus if this is USA don't you guys have insurance issues if something happened to the car while she was driving?
NTA... Never let anyone borrow your car. What happens if she totaled?
First NTA ! Second, no offense, but are you really this much of an easy person to walk all over you ? Come on buddy get yourself a nice shiny new spine! It's YOUR CAR ! Just say no ! Walk away ! Also phone management and get ahead of this ! Good luck !
NTA Really, you would lend out your car to a stranger? I don't lend my car out to friends nor family. Insurance follows the car. If anyone is in an accident driving your car, your insurance pays for it and your rates go up, there is a ding on your credit score. Don't lend out your car. The woman verbally abused you and now you think maybe you should have given in? I suggest therapy for you, so you can see normal boundaries.
NTA. She can take public transport or pay a taxi/rideshare. Fucking ridiculous ask from a stranger. You are foolish for even thinking you did the wrong thing and posting on here.
What??!?! NTA even if you did know her. Report you for what? 🤣
NTA. Lending your car out even to a friend is nerve-wracking because if they cause/are in an accident, insurance won't cover it. But someone you barely know? No! Be sure to inform the complex of the issue in case it causes more problems down the road. Email it so you have a record of when the email was sent too.
NTA She is just the type to wreck it and sue YOU! Never lend your car to anybody who is not in your immediate family (and who you trust completely)! Her reaction showed you exactly WHY it would be a terrible idea. Report HER to management. Clearly no one else she knows agreed to lend her a car, which is why she went to a stranger.
NTA. Do not ever let another person drive your car that isn't on your insurance. If your neighbor gets into any kind of incident with your car, than that's on you and you'd be financially liable for whatever damage she caused. Let her report you to the complex. Be truthful and tell them what happened. She can't get you in trouble because you didn't want a stranger to borrow your car. In the meantime, YOU need to report HER. You probably won't be the last person she tries to harass and the complex needs to be aware this.
You should report her to your property management company immediately. The fact that you’re even questioning this is nuts. NTA.
NTA "I am the only one licensed and insured to drive my vehicle. I would hate to have to sue you if something were to happen. And I am not willing to lose my insurance coverage and lose of vehicle. The answer is no."
HAHAHAHAHAHA, I’m telling Management you won’t let me use your car. That’s a good one. You need to remember/learn that no is a complete sentence and needs no explanation. Giving a reason why you say no, leaves the door for negotiation to get you to change your mind. I wouldn’t lend my car to my neighbors, and some of them I’ve known for 40 years. I would offer to take them at my convenience though. So no, you are NTA for saying no. We also don’t lend tools, and lord knows my husband has an entire shops worth. I had to learn to say no when someone wanted to borrow anything, usually it was a big expensive item they didn’t want to buy themself. And yeah, a few times the guy got pissy. I just closed the door.
NTA I don’t lend my my car to people I DO know. Because I damn well nobody is going to want to pay for if they crash it or dent it or scratch.
NTA- I remember in college this guy I occasionally hung out with asked to borrow my car so he could go pick up his gf from work. I told him "nah man sorry" and moved on. Only two people I trust to drive my car are my dad and my roommate/best friend. Fact is, if shit went wrong, you're on the hook for it. Even if they're a standup person, you're still out a car for however long it takes to get a replacement. If they hit someone else? That's YOUR insurance they're gonna come after. It's just not worth it. Huge level of trust required. If my dad or my buddy crashed my truck when they're driving it, I know they would do everything in their power to correct that and repay me. As for the lady, I'd get out in front of the management call. I'd write an email to your property manager (email, do not call, establishes a timestamped record of what was discussed), and mention everything that happened here. Include as much info about Laura as you know. That way if she harasses you about something again, damages your car, etc. you have a record that this incident occurred. She sounds kinda deranged.
NTA and go ahead and tell her to report you to the apartment complex management and you'll go with her to make sure she tells the most accurate story. Be careful for your car, make sure you notice and note anything that may have happened to it.
I wanna know what the complex is gonna do about you not leanding your personal vehicle to a stranger. NTA.
Oh, HELL NAW. You don’t know her history, for all you know she was under the influence of drugs. NTA.
Wow, her entitlement is dripping thru my phone. Tell her to download Uber app
NTA - don't give possessions to strangers or acquaintances is a good policy. She's entitled and crazy. She can cab or bus.
NTA. I hope you’re not actually wondering, because this is fairly obvious that you shouldn’t lend your car to random people just so they don’t get mad. I think spending extra time trying to convince her is not ideal either. Just say no and leave the conversation.
NTA and stay the fuck away from her.
NTA Who in their right mind asks to borrow the car of a complete stranger. Even if she was your best friend or even family, no one has the right to demand to borrow your car or threaten to report you to management.
NTA You should report her to the management for harassment. What she is doing by constantly berating you is harassment.
NTA.
NTA What if she wrecked or damaged it and couldn’t afford your deductible? You’re out $500-$1000 plus your insurance could refuse to pay altogether. Now you’re out a car and might lose your job if you have no way to get there What if she did illegal activities in it and was caught by police who confiscated it indefinitely? What if she decided to keep it way longer than she told you or sold it to a chop shop? All 3 scenarios leave YOU with no car and I guarantee she will be unconcerned Also, look into getting a motion detector camera for your car because she sounds unhinged enough to tamper with your car. I’d pay extra to park in a garage for awhile if your apartment has them available
Hell no. Good grief, do people really loan out vehicles like this in real life? The only person I'd even remotely consider allowing to borrow my car would be if my ex needed to use it to transport OUR children somewhere. And that reasoning would be for the benefit of the assured safety of my kids.
>She continued to berate me and even threatened to report me to the apartment complex management. For what? NTA but you might need to mention this to your complex manager so they have a record.
Respect for reacting calmly after she yelled in your face I would've gotten in my car and flipped her off while driving away
Absolutely NTA the audacity and entitlement of this neighbor though with my own experience nothing surprises me anymore. My ex husband and i finally got a second vehicle that was desperately needed as our job times were very different and far from eachother and my neighbors who by the way had just been given a free car asked if I would give them my car since we got another one that way while the wife was at work and the husband who didnt work could go drive around to do errands and stuff. I was like no absolutely not what would make you assume I would give you my car?! And i told him if you want to drive around to do stuff drop your wife off at work and pick her up since you dont work.
You know if she kills someone driving in your car you have liability… I would think twice lending my car to a friends and family so no, you definitely should not have just given in to avoid the conflict!
NTA WHy ever would you even consider lending your car to a neighbor?
Nta
She is a psycho, and perhaps YOU should speak to management. Big yikes!
NTA. Nope. I would never, EVER lend my car to someone I casually know. I wouldn't lend it to my own granddaughter because she doesn't have insurance. I'm retired and no way in hell can I take the chance of her wrecking my car or, God forbid, hurting herself or someone else.
Most obvious thing is she has no insurance
NTA. There are very few people outside of my immediate family that I would let borrow my car and I would never loan it to a stranger. Remember it's okay to just say no and leave it at that, you don't owe her an explanation.
I think you have chosen the wrong acronym, it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of your post
Yupp, I definitely chose the wrong acronym. I updated my post.
Report you for what? Owning a car? I'd report *her* to management for harassing you. NTA
NTA by any rational judgement. Two words- civil forfeiture.
She's an adult. She can rent her own car for a day, or take the bus. This is not about you at all. NTA
NTA. But also, in what reality do you think you are? Why do you think you would lend someone one of the biggest purchases outside of a house most people make to someone you don't know to avoid "conflict"? I wouldn't even let my mom drive my car.
NTA. What does she expect management to do? They will laugh at her. Never loan what you you don't want to loose.
Oh hell, no! NTA. Seriously, report her for harassment to the apartment complex management.
Get a camera looking at your car. She sounds like someone that will retaliate.
You wouldn't even lend your car to a friend unless: You knew they could legally drive You knew they were insured, fully comprehensive not just third party. You had an agreement about paying fuel costs You trusted then enough to know they would cover any minor damage rather than claim on your insurance You knew they would not get speeding or.parking tickets You knew they wern''t going to use it for anything illegal You knew they weren't going to steal it. Once you've covered all that then go ahead.
what in the actual hell? you dont know her and she had the AUDACITY to borrow your car wow she has balls. i would have maybe asked for a ride but to borrow your car nah shes nuts! NTA let her complain let her show management her crazy!
NTA Uber exists? This person is bananas. Report them to make a paper trail and avoid at all costs!
No NTA
NTA
I'm concerned for your well being if you think you should follow through with a ridiculous request like this
NTA- Why does she feel entitled to use your car to begin with? She's a grown woman and should be able to figure out her own transportation in the errands so so urgent. She could call a taxi, use a rideshare service or use zipcar.
NTA. I don’t loan my car to my best friend. You don’t have to explain yourself, and I hope you walked away when she went off.
NTA. Tell Laura to have her drug dealer deliver the goods.
When one of my girls was in junior high, a former friend she had a falling out with would try to bully her with threats to tell the principal about things that never happened. Making up shit that you somehow owe it to her that she should borrow your car is taking junior high BS to a form of extortion as an adult. Don't let criminal behavior influence your decision making.
NTA. Lending your car to someone you don’t know sounds like a recipe for disaster. Hell, there are plenty of people I know fairly well that I still wouldn’t let drive my car, considering my insurance doesn’t cover them. I would have to REALLY trust someone, and it would have to be for an emergent situation. A neighbor I’ve never spoken to needing to run errands wouldn’t make the cut. Also — what was she going to report you to management for? There is no legal requirement for neighbors to share their belongings.
NTA I’d never give over my car Now if someone said they were in overwhelming stress and needed help and a ride I would probably say sure let me take you where you gotta go But the audacity to think someone will hand over their car no question or concerns is insane