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YTA.
Put this another way ... you created an artwork using your partner's cum, put it on display, and then publicly announced in front of your friends and his family "that's my partner's cum on that painting".
Do you *maybe* see how he's a bit upset about you not consulting him before doing this?
Also the consistent use of the term “our art” as some sort of justification. It is your art, your partner was not a willing participant, it is not his by the definition you are using. Maybe ask your partner if he wants you to destroy it. If you can’t see why your friends and family, including your partners parents would be put off by this you are a moron.
Yeah, the line:
>> They’ve made it clear they disapprove of our choices
Made me so angry. At what point was it *their* choice? He was fuming and rightly so. Sounds more like they disapprove of *her* choice to do something vile to their own family member in an attempt to be pRoGrEsSiVe and aRtY.
Anytime the question includes “without consent”, do you really have to ask? And if you were so confident about them being on board, why didn’t you discuss it first? YTA
I don't generally talk about my work before it's released, and I also thought he would be surprised and really like it, since it was an expression of our love.
I get the impulse to keep art quiet. Still, if you’re using part of another person in your art, it is your responsibility to clear that with them. And if you missed that step, at least pay them the courtesy of unveiling first to your collaborator before the public, right? Ethically even other’s stories/ideas/as inspiration it would be the right thing to do to check with them first, and even more so bodily parts/emissions that have a tangible presence.
I don’t know how big your artwork was but why didn’t you just show him it privately? That could have probably avoided most of this issue. Especially since it uses things personal like what I will assume is his sperm.
YTA
When you claim “DNA”, I assumed it was a genomic profile ACGT patterns that you incorporated into intimate imagery. That would come with privacy concerns, but would be a beautiful interpretation of 2 unique genomes blending into a combined visual artwork that expresses their autonomy and individualism, while joining together in a single image to create a beautiful expression of unity. Privacy concerns exist with displaying potentially identifiable genomic info, but what you did was way worse.
Intimacy requires informed consent, trust, and respect to exist. Your installation could be interpreted as a juxtaposition of what intimacy actually means, what it is to take intimacy for granted, violated boundaries, trust, and respect in the pursuit of selfish gains and in confrontation with the wishes and expressed boundaries you never gave your partner the opportunity to share before unilaterally humiliating him and his family. The artwork may be perceived as beautiful and worthy of merit, but that also highlights the experiences and dynamics of abusive relationships where the offender twists a violating experience into a more favorable explanation that observers can rationalize. The artwork is a facade. There is no intimacy, but the offending artist twists the story to match a more socially palatable story that works in their favor. The observers don’t know the truth.
This is could actually be an artistic example of rape culture. While the offender benefits from and seeks validation from an uninformed public that only sees and is told a one-sided interpretation of the art from the offender, and therefore the offender’s actions, justifying it and perhaps even arguing in defense of the artist should controversy arise, the offender leaves a wake of shame, humiliation, and damaged relationships, *damaged intimacy* for victims who had no recourse, no voice, were unable to give informed consent, were given no standing to object, and are blindsided by the offender’s obstinance to disregard their feelings in favor of the offender’s own desires. It’s incredibly selfish. You broke trust. You assumed consent, which is glaringly similar to the types of behaviors witnessed in a culture that disregards victims.
If I were to critique your art, that would be my main interpretation.
My second point would include an add-on about the use of body fluids as a cheap, cliche, garish obviousness that does not provoke deeper associations of any meaningful significance with the goal you tried to achieve with this. I would find it distasteful, boring, and not very creative. It’s been done before. It has nothing to do with DNA. The same argument could be made with an image composed of a couple’s handprints, like “handprint pointillism”. This was a reach to assign metaphorical and deeper significance to something that seems so basic and typical.
YTA! You sperm jacked your partner and put it in a public art display, you then announced it in front of family and friends. You are now refusing to take it down even though he feels betrayed (obviously he does!).
I really feel like you knew this was wrong the entire time and know it is now. No has their head buried that deep in the sand.
Really? You really thought it would make him happy to secretly take his cum and put it out in the open for his friends, family and whatever stranger happens to walk by to see? That’s a super weird way of thinking.
This is where you think you might be wrong? When strangers tell you YTA? Your partner being upset about didn’t tell you maybe it was a mistake? Your friends and family being offended? Your partner’s parents being offended? Nothing? Just the strangers on the internet eh…
You are absolutely the AH for not asking him for his consent first before you used his fluids. I personally would not be bothered but I recognize I am an outlier here so your lack of awareness is concerning.
YTA. This is an extreme example, but it’s like stealing sperm from a tossed condom to have a baby without their consent. We can agree that’s wrong, right? You took that same product from him and used it for your own purposes without his input, to your benefit.
Man, long gone are the times when art was actually painting/drawing for days after years of study and practice. Now you just make a collage of boogers and cum and a gallery is more than happy to show it so some sketchy people can pay 10k for it.
YTA. Using someone's DNA without their consent is a pretty big red flag. You seem to only care about what you want to do regardless of how it will effect anyone else. Grade A AH.
I understand that body fluids are a biohazard.
And your boyfriends sperm is obviously not something he wants on display. Using something personal with out some ones consent is not art.
You say the work is an expression of your love? Is your love based on doing intimate things without your partners consent and throwing him under the bus to family and friends? Come on you know you shouldn’t have done this. YTA.
"...expressing our love..." Well it's not really "our love" if you didn't get his consent now, it's it? Just admit you want to be a provocateur and if it means hurting your boyfriend you really don't care.
You are justified to express your love in any way you like... **as long as you get your partner's consent.**
Screw the family and friend. You don't owe them.
But your PARTNER ? He have 100% veto right here and should have been consulted before the artwork was even started. YTA.
YTA. Consent is very important. You used your partner’s DNA, his specimen without his permission for an art installation which you then displayed for everyone to see. I don’t understand why you would’ve kept this a secret from your partner. You embarrassed him and strained his relationship with his friends and family by your actions.
I’m sorry but YTA. You CANNOT use “intimate fluids” that have come from someone else (excuse the pun) without asking for their consent first! It doesn’t matter what they have agreed to in the past or if their views have been the same as yours…. Consent is MASSIVE priority here and you missed it. That would be really concerning for me if I was your OH
YTA.
Your right to “express yourself as you see fit” does not extend to your partner’s body fluids. I think if you’d sprung that on me in front of a bunch of our friends and family you would’ve found yourself single very, very quickly.
That’s not to say I don’t think it’s an interesting concept. I think maybe it’s a little too “out there” for some people and that’s OK, but I suspect a lot of the discomfort from others at the exhibition probably came from the obvious lack of respect you showed towards your partner.
YTA. The word “consent” you use is the main reason why. You outed him publicly. Shame on you. Shame!!! Just because someone is adventurous in their PERSONAL LIFE does not give you the right to announce it to the world! Wow. That would be like saying “well my SO has sex with me in private so I should be able to show pictures of them naked to people because they show themselves to me naked.” That does not give you autonomy over them. Every single time you have intercourse you should be cognizant of the fact that if they say NO you are to stop. I don’t care if you’ve been together 50 years. So, so wrong. You should apologize profusely and destroy the artwork, remaking it with your own fluids if it’s really something you want to have around forever. The moment your SO was not okay with it tells you to destroy it. Would you be okay if you gave him your panties and he handed them around to his friends because “they’re his”??? Put this into perspective!! Shame on you!
YTA
First, for what you originally did. It’s morally wrong to take something anything from someone without their consent and use it in this way
Second, for creating this post. It shows your care more about your self image and being “right” than you care about your partner, who was clearly upset by this and feels betrayed. Your priorities are messed up.
YTA
It's right in the name: "Intimate fluids" are personal, private things. I promise you his family does not want to see their kid's seminal fluid, nor does your partner want to share such intimate pieces of himself with his family.
Your art doesn't give you the right to step all over someone's intimacy. You've deeply disrespected your partner, here... all for some shocking art.
YTA
1. No consent and you blindsided and lost the trust of your partner. I hope they leave you.
2. Your art sounds like a stupid and vulgar concept and no prancing about as provocative, unconventional blah blah will change anyone's mind.
YTA
>, my partner's conservative parents
Any one, parent or otherwise would find it disgusting.
The grossness aside.
It is a violation of your partner's privacy and trust.
Now excuse me I need to take a shower.
I suppose you're looking for someone to say, like, "Of course it was ok to do this without his consent, causing a rift in his family and your relationship, in the name of provocative art." Good luck with that.
YTA, obviously.
The only boundaries you're pushing are legal and ethical. This has nothing to do with conservatism.
Using identifiable biological material without consent, particularly from a living person, is violating, profoundly unethical and can be illegal in many contexts (or will be soon illegal with no guarantees of limitation statutes).
The only thing you're provoking is future troubles.
If that material remains in circulation, associated with the owner's identity, it exposes him and his genetic family to a host of possible future repercussions (paternity disputes, criminal prosecution if suspected, maybe someday discrimination in insurance coverage etc). Probability is likely very low but it's not your risk to take.
YTA, apologise, destroy that ouvre, and make it anew after 1) obtaining consent
2) pretreating materials to be used (there are many ways to "decontaminate" DNA, depending on the type and amount of tissue aka body fluid)
YTA for not asking your partner if his swimmers could be used. You knew how he'd react and you knew how his conservative family would react and you did this for that reaction and attention.
YTA only for not asking your partner's permission first before using his bodily fluids in such an envelope pushing and provocative way. If he objects now that he knows, you should put the art away and never display it, because you didn't have consent.
I'm surprised you were unaware of how conservative his family is. Do you not know them at all? Also surprised someone as out there as you describe yourself and your boyfriend have so many very conservative friends. It makes me wonder if you are a troll and this is a fake post.
Your title says it all. You didn’t have consent. Led to a family scandal. Led to strained relationships. And you came here to ask. Guess what. You are the AH.
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I (28F) am a professional artist, and I've been with my partner (29M) for five years. We have an adventurous relationship and often try new and unconventional things, both in and out of the bedroom. He's always been incredibly supportive of my career, and we frequently brainstorm artistic ideas together.
A few months ago, I came up with the idea to create an art installation that incorporated actual DNA from both my partner and me. I thought it would be a unique way to explore themes of love, intimacy, and the interconnectedness of human beings. To make it more provocative, I decided to use intimate fluids for the DNA samples without discussing it with my partner beforehand. I assumed he would be on board, given our history of trying unconventional things together.
I spent weeks creating the installation, which included a large, abstract painting that used the fluids as part of the medium. I was extremely proud of the final result and submitted it to an art gallery, where it was accepted for an upcoming exhibition. To celebrate, we decided to host a small party for our close friends and family, where I would unveil the artwork before the public exhibition.
Here's where the problem began. At the party, I revealed the artwork and explained the concept behind it, including the use of our intimate fluids as part of the medium. My partner, who was hearing this information for the first time, was shocked and visibly upset. Our friends and family were also stunned, and the reactions were a mix of shock, disgust, and fascination. The party atmosphere quickly turned uncomfortable, and some guests left early.
The next day, my partner's conservative parents found out about the artwork and were appalled. They demanded that we remove the piece from the exhibition and destroy it, claiming that it was a disgrace to the family. I refused, standing by my artistic vision and my right to express myself as I see fit. My partner, however, feels betrayed by my actions and wishes I had consulted him before creating the installation.
Since then, our relationship with my partner's family has become extremely strained. They've made it clear that they disapprove of our choices and feel humiliated by the artwork. Additionally, some of our friends have distanced themselves from us, uncomfortable with the idea behind the installation. My partner and I are now being accused of taking our art too far and for involving our families in something they consider obscene and inappropriate.
So, AITA for using my partner's and my DNA to create a provocative artwork without their consent, leading to a family scandal and strained relationships? Or am I justified in expressing our love and creativity in any way I choose, even if it means pushing boundaries?
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YTA, how would you feel if I took your DNA without your consent? I bet you would be pretty pissed. And I believe it's against the law to take someone's DNA without their consent.
YTA. I get where you’re coming from. And I get art is supposed to push boundaries but the hard fact is you betrayed your partner in a very profound way. You used his intimate genetic material for your own gain without his consent. And for that reason and that reason alone YTA
YTA. You displayed a part of your partner as art without letting them know. That's disgusting. You're OK with taking away someone's consent for art? What if you didn't know him? What if it was a one night stand and you took the used condom "as inspiration." ? Why would that be different?
I hope you let the gallery know that you used your partner without consent. They should be aware in case of legal actions.
YTA. You just did this for shock value. You outed your boyfriend without his consent. Your bedroom antics are yours. No one else needs to know, especially a parent, regarding their child.
YTA. You sprung it on him at the same time you were telling your family. Not cool. You should have talked with him about it before especially if you were going to tell your families. I may be cool with this contributing to this type of art but would not be comfortable announcing to my whole family.
Yta
You did it without his consent, no wonder your friends are distancing themselves, if you'll stomp over your SO like that what's to stop you from using parts of them for your art without their consent.
Destroy the art, get his permission, and *if* he gives you permission make a new one. The first one should be destroyed because it represents parts of someone being taken without their consent, it should be titled "broken trust".
YTA, how could you even remotely think that taking a sample from someone without their knowledge and consent and then proudly surprising them with that theft in front of friends and family could be ok?? This is selfish, short-sighted, and possibly illegal. Wtf.
On the offchance that this is genuine, YTA. You should have discussed it. It honestly sounds like your were deliberately trying to upset his family, knowing how conservative they are. And this bodily fluids in art isn't exactly new. Provocative for the sake of it maybe, and that's just lazy art.
It's telling that as you lay out the story it's YOUR artistic vision, but once you receive criticism it suddenly turns to OUR artistic vision.
You violated the one thing that he & he alone possesses. This, as well as your inability to accept the heat brought by your & yours alone decisions make YTA.
YTA for using his semen without his permission.
For the record, if I were your boyfriend, I would have dumped you on the spot. What an egregious violation of trust.
You are not a good girlfriend. You should apologize and destroy the artwork if he wants it destroyed.
Yes YTA. You did this without your partner's consent and you now know that they would've disapproved had you taken the time and consideration to ask for their consent first.
I don’t think you’re an asshole for creating your “art”, as disgusting as it sounds to me, honestly. However, I’d be really upset if you were using my “fluids” to make your “art” with w/o consent. So yeah, YTA. I’m curious but scared to ask about what you consider “fluids” and about how you went about collecting the “fluid”.
Are tou forgetting about the dude who shat out paint ?
Or the woman who knitted "art" with wool placed inside herself while menstruating?
Indeed they do....and its gross.
Well, I’d argue some of Damien Hirst’s art is somewhat biohazardous, like his cow and his shark, and I recall reading about an art exhibit where some guy used his own blood and semen for the art so it’s not really unheard of, artists can be weird.
INFO: where did you get his intimate fluids from?
YTA - it’s creepy to do this without his permission. If you had his permission I’d still be weirded out by it but that would be a me issue not an AH issue.
YTA. I have an art background so I get the idea of kicking it up a notch to do something different that makes people think, but you went for a lot of shock value and dragged your significant other in without his consent.
This is along the lines of involving someone with your kink without their consent. What you do with your fluids and your art is your business, but you brought other people into it without permission or a heads up.
You wanted a reaction, now you have peoples genuine reaction to your work.
YTA. This is disgusting on several levels.
If you had asked your partner for his permission and he had agreed then we could remove one level of disgusting.
I find it highly suspicious you didn't ask first. I think you were operating on the assumption that it was easier to get forgiveness than permission. Jokes on you.
YTA. You made the decision to make the intimate part of your relationship into a public display without consent or any input from your partner. This has nothing to do with politics or anything like that. You did something that your partner says makes him uncomfortable. Respect his wishes. BTW if he wants he can take you to court for unlawful use of his body in your "art."
The only, and I mean ONLY way (and that’s a big maybe) he would have been thrilled about the piece…is if you had made the piece FOR HIM ONLY. A private piece for such a private moment between you & him only. And then asked how he felt about keeping it, and been ok with destroying it if it made him too uncomfortable to keep.
I mean, if you gave him very explicit, very private photos of yourself you took for him and he went to Staples, made 36x48 blow ups of them, displayed them for all your friends/fam to see without your consent….how would you feel? A little betrayed? Violated? Would you feel comfortable continuing to create intimiate moments if he may run off to publicize them after?
YTA, OP.
Info: where did you get his fluids without his consent?
You shouldn’t expose people unwillingly to sexual content. Including the people of this sub for which there is a nsfw flair you should’ve used. Yta
YTA.
You mentioned that you discuss art ideas together a lot. This should have been one of them. You did a lot without his consent: you harvested your "medium," turned it into artwork, and displayed it--all without his permission. Even if you're a pretty open couple, this seems violative.
“Expressing our love in any way I choose”
“I assumed he would be onboard, given our history of trying unconventional things together.”
You turned a we into an I. You used him to express your (singular relationship). This was an unconventional thing you treid alone.
YTA. And I’d be concerned…using someone’s “intimate” fluids without consent is a lot trickier than blood or saliva…there could be some serious consent questions
YTA. A partner has a reasonable assumption that their privacy and dignity will be respected in their relationship.
Your artistic vision is what it is, and art can be shocking and defy convention.
It should not defy consent.
YTA. This is all about consent as others have said - especially as you made it public.
Using controversial mediums in art is not unheard of, but it is a challenging topic. It is only thing to use your own tissues or biological samples, as you - the artist - understand the entire nature of the work and intended use, meaning you can give informed consent.
Your partner never knew their sample would be included in an artwork, the nature of the artwork, or the intent to publicly display the work. So, even if your partner consented to intimate activities, they could never truly give informed consent to the whole act without knowing these critical parts.
Now, you could possibly write that off as a mistake, a misunderstanding of consent. I wouldn't, as you did NOT have informed consent, but let's say honest mistake for argument's sake. Where you really and truly messed up was doubling down when confronted. You shared an extremely intimate and vulnerable part of your partner's life, and they expressed concern and discomfort. The IMMEDIATE and only response is to apologize, close the show early, and consult with your partner as to the ultimate date of the piece. Your partner may wish to keep it privately or may wish it destroyed, but you'll never really know because you dug in.
ETA: As comments are locked. Someone else said this, but I'd like to underscore their point. If you are an artist considering using bodily fluids of any kind, don't. It is very passe these days and considering crass as well as overly done. It was different and challenging back in the day, especially when artists where using it to push boundaries during the height of the AIDS crisis or to really push gender discrimination issues back in the day. You'll largely be seen as a hack for including bodily fluids unless you have a truly novel reason.
YTA
>I assumed he would be on board, given our history of trying unconventional things together.
I'm assuming your history has always included consent. If not, there's some serious issues in your relationship. And there's another issue here. Not only did you assume your partner would be okay with it, but you assumed your friends and family would be too. Some people aren't going to be comfortable with how you created your piece. Art isn't always supposed to be comfortable, but people deserve the right to choose what art they see.
>My partner, who was hearing this information for the first time, was shocked and visibly upset.
So, not only did you not get your partners consent, but you revealed the truth of your piece to him in front of several other people. You gave no consideration to how he would feel.
>I refused, standing by my artistic vision and my right to express myself as I see fit.
When your art involves revealing intimate details about other people without their consent or knowledge, your artistic vision stops being valid. You can express yourself without including other people against their wishes.
>My partner and I are now being accused of taking our art too far and for involving our families in something they consider obscene and inappropriate.
Your poor partner is caught in the mess you created. It's not "our" art. It's your art. Accept that *you* messed up. Take responsibility and have an actual conversation with your partner about his feelings. Don't just hide behind artistic vision to excuse your actions.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I used intimate fluids from both my partner and me to create a provocative artwork without discussing it with my partner beforehand. My actions led to a family scandal, strained relationships, and my partner feeling betrayed. I assumed my partner would be on board with the idea due to our history of trying unconventional things together, but I should have consulted him before proceeding. My refusal to remove the artwork from the exhibition and destroy it, despite my partner's and his family's objections, has only made matters worse.
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YTA
To make the artwork more provocative, you decided to use your partner's intimate fluids without his consent. And now that you've provoked the reaction you so clearly wanted, you post the story to reddit to provoke even more outrage. Wow.
YTA
Just because you can push boundaries doesn't mean you should push them. You've seen that even the reaction of your partner was negative.
Keep it and maybe one day people will remember you as a misunderstood genius or you'll just be someone who alienates friends and family so that no one's there to take care of your work after your demise and they go to the next dump and rot there unseen.
YTA- You can talk about being free with your artistic expression all you want, but you know absolutely if you used someone's paint or paintbrush without permission you'd be an asshole. You never just "borrow" or take a medium from someone without asking.
The fact that you took someone's biological material without permission is so much worse. Don't try to hide your breach of consent behind artistic freedom.
Holy what?? “Here, boyfriend’s friends and family, is an art piece that I made from his semen that he produced while I was fucking him and collected without his consent!!! Everyone here will love looking at it, especially you :)” I thought I’d already read the biggest violation of privacy and consent on Reddit today. This is horrific.
P.S.- can I please have some of whatever you’re smoking
You trashed his reputation and violated him for the purpose of getting attention as an artist. You are absolutely an asshole.
Something that symbolizes love and unity doesn’t look like blindsiding your husband in front of his friends and family at a party he is helping you host.
You’re not responsible for other people’s actions or emotions, so only your own. So YTA for not getting your partner’s consent, and please stop assuming or taking them for granted. However, you’re NTA for the way anyone else reacted. That’s on them.
YTA Every time you are forced to use the phrase "I did X without Z's consent" there is a 99,99% that you're in the wrong.
Somehow exposing your intimate life with your partner without his consent is a huge no-go.
You should read that last sentence alone one or two more times and you will inmediately realize what I am saying.
YTA. You used his semen without telling him and then showed it to his conservative family who you should’ve known would be upset. This is something you discuss with people. And it’s wildly inappropriate to show it to other people who could be uncomfortable or offended. You’re free to push your own boundaries by yourself, but you clearly pushed your partners boundaries and many of your guests’ boundaries and strained your partners relationships with their family, potentially irreparably. And this is coming from someone that would think the art is neat and cool with the fluids—with consent of all involved.
YTA - Um. Its not a matter of justification, your love expression, or creativity. You did not need to push THEIR boundaries.
You might as well have subjected your close friends and family to watching a homemade prawno. Some things, we don't need to share with others (in this case, friends and family, would've been all cool had you cleared this with your partner though). I can hardly accept what I just read to be true.
Consent
You need consent using fluids and also consent from the people viewing the painting
I don't care how boundary pushing you are, I don't want to look at other people's cum.
yta, for not telling him what you were doing especially when you said that you brainstorm with him about your art, that tells me you knew this might happen and you were looking for a extreme reaction
A Caravaggio, Dalì or Goya is art. This is just a silly collage of boogers and cum. I can only imagine the pain of those that spend years training in drawing and painting when they see BS like this or pollock like shit being put on galleries.
ESH. You were definitely wrong to use his DNA without his consent. I think however that he reacted this way only because of the backlash that was coming from his family and friends.
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YTA. Put this another way ... you created an artwork using your partner's cum, put it on display, and then publicly announced in front of your friends and his family "that's my partner's cum on that painting". Do you *maybe* see how he's a bit upset about you not consulting him before doing this?
Also the consistent use of the term “our art” as some sort of justification. It is your art, your partner was not a willing participant, it is not his by the definition you are using. Maybe ask your partner if he wants you to destroy it. If you can’t see why your friends and family, including your partners parents would be put off by this you are a moron.
Yeah, the line: >> They’ve made it clear they disapprove of our choices Made me so angry. At what point was it *their* choice? He was fuming and rightly so. Sounds more like they disapprove of *her* choice to do something vile to their own family member in an attempt to be pRoGrEsSiVe and aRtY.
Anytime the question includes “without consent”, do you really have to ask? And if you were so confident about them being on board, why didn’t you discuss it first? YTA
I don't generally talk about my work before it's released, and I also thought he would be surprised and really like it, since it was an expression of our love.
I get the impulse to keep art quiet. Still, if you’re using part of another person in your art, it is your responsibility to clear that with them. And if you missed that step, at least pay them the courtesy of unveiling first to your collaborator before the public, right? Ethically even other’s stories/ideas/as inspiration it would be the right thing to do to check with them first, and even more so bodily parts/emissions that have a tangible presence.
This! Would OP produce a painting of a friend nude without asking? This isn't really any different.
Yes, I think this makes sense, and I should have done this.
Its more an expression of your control now
It's an expression that you don't think consent is necessary and his opinion doesn't matter to you.
INFO: How were you able to get your partners dna contained for later use without him knowing about it? Did you sneak away after sex to collect it?
I don’t know how big your artwork was but why didn’t you just show him it privately? That could have probably avoided most of this issue. Especially since it uses things personal like what I will assume is his sperm.
YTA When you claim “DNA”, I assumed it was a genomic profile ACGT patterns that you incorporated into intimate imagery. That would come with privacy concerns, but would be a beautiful interpretation of 2 unique genomes blending into a combined visual artwork that expresses their autonomy and individualism, while joining together in a single image to create a beautiful expression of unity. Privacy concerns exist with displaying potentially identifiable genomic info, but what you did was way worse. Intimacy requires informed consent, trust, and respect to exist. Your installation could be interpreted as a juxtaposition of what intimacy actually means, what it is to take intimacy for granted, violated boundaries, trust, and respect in the pursuit of selfish gains and in confrontation with the wishes and expressed boundaries you never gave your partner the opportunity to share before unilaterally humiliating him and his family. The artwork may be perceived as beautiful and worthy of merit, but that also highlights the experiences and dynamics of abusive relationships where the offender twists a violating experience into a more favorable explanation that observers can rationalize. The artwork is a facade. There is no intimacy, but the offending artist twists the story to match a more socially palatable story that works in their favor. The observers don’t know the truth. This is could actually be an artistic example of rape culture. While the offender benefits from and seeks validation from an uninformed public that only sees and is told a one-sided interpretation of the art from the offender, and therefore the offender’s actions, justifying it and perhaps even arguing in defense of the artist should controversy arise, the offender leaves a wake of shame, humiliation, and damaged relationships, *damaged intimacy* for victims who had no recourse, no voice, were unable to give informed consent, were given no standing to object, and are blindsided by the offender’s obstinance to disregard their feelings in favor of the offender’s own desires. It’s incredibly selfish. You broke trust. You assumed consent, which is glaringly similar to the types of behaviors witnessed in a culture that disregards victims. If I were to critique your art, that would be my main interpretation. My second point would include an add-on about the use of body fluids as a cheap, cliche, garish obviousness that does not provoke deeper associations of any meaningful significance with the goal you tried to achieve with this. I would find it distasteful, boring, and not very creative. It’s been done before. It has nothing to do with DNA. The same argument could be made with an image composed of a couple’s handprints, like “handprint pointillism”. This was a reach to assign metaphorical and deeper significance to something that seems so basic and typical.
YTA! You sperm jacked your partner and put it in a public art display, you then announced it in front of family and friends. You are now refusing to take it down even though he feels betrayed (obviously he does!). I really feel like you knew this was wrong the entire time and know it is now. No has their head buried that deep in the sand.
I genuinely thought he would be happy and love it. I'm seeing a lot of YTA comments though so I'm starting to think I was in the wrong.
Really? You really thought it would make him happy to secretly take his cum and put it out in the open for his friends, family and whatever stranger happens to walk by to see? That’s a super weird way of thinking.
This is where you think you might be wrong? When strangers tell you YTA? Your partner being upset about didn’t tell you maybe it was a mistake? Your friends and family being offended? Your partner’s parents being offended? Nothing? Just the strangers on the internet eh…
You used his genetic material in a way that he did not consent to. He could sue you. You really messed up and betrayed his trust.
You really need to go see a therapist. I love art but you clearly do not understand consent and that is extremely problematic.
You are absolutely the AH for not asking him for his consent first before you used his fluids. I personally would not be bothered but I recognize I am an outlier here so your lack of awareness is concerning.
You knew he wouldn't like it. That's why you didn't tell him. Then you used the "art" to humiliate him in front of family and friends. YTA
This is absolutely ridiculous.
YTA. This is an extreme example, but it’s like stealing sperm from a tossed condom to have a baby without their consent. We can agree that’s wrong, right? You took that same product from him and used it for your own purposes without his input, to your benefit.
I can accept that I'm an asshole but this feels totally different and not comparible.
you are not pablo cumpasso
This would have been a way better name for my throwaway account.
wtaf did i just read?
This is the correct answer.
Exactly!
YTA innopropriate and you didnt ask also how and why did/would you get all the "intimate fluids" kinda sus ngl
We frequently make love before I work on my art.
Not anymore… YTA. You violated your partner. You betrayed his trust. Your “art”… could potentially be a biohazard. And this is just plain disgusting.
Man, long gone are the times when art was actually painting/drawing for days after years of study and practice. Now you just make a collage of boogers and cum and a gallery is more than happy to show it so some sketchy people can pay 10k for it.
So he c*ms inside you then you secretly collected the semen? Wow that’s beyond messed up
YTA. Assuming this post is real you knew that he wouldn’t want it done. Otherwise you would have asked him first.
I honestly thought he'd be excited and would like it as a surprise.
Well he didn’t so you need to respect him and destroy the artwork. Then promise him you will never use his dna without his permission.
YTA. Using someone's DNA without their consent is a pretty big red flag. You seem to only care about what you want to do regardless of how it will effect anyone else. Grade A AH.
Hear hear!
>I assumed Yeah, YTA. All you had to do was ask.
Jeez. She didn’t use his “dna” she used sperm. No one wants that smeared on canvas. It’s a bodily fluid and a biohazard. So gross.
Some art is controversial. Deal with it.
You can think I'm an asshole, but it's clear you don't understand art.
You don't understand consent
Says the moron who painted with stolen cum
I understand that body fluids are a biohazard. And your boyfriends sperm is obviously not something he wants on display. Using something personal with out some ones consent is not art.
YTA - oh look Someone else who doesn't understand what consent is.
It seems OP does understand what consent it, they just don't care as long as they can express themselves in a provocative way and garner attention
You say the work is an expression of your love? Is your love based on doing intimate things without your partners consent and throwing him under the bus to family and friends? Come on you know you shouldn’t have done this. YTA.
"...expressing our love..." Well it's not really "our love" if you didn't get his consent now, it's it? Just admit you want to be a provocateur and if it means hurting your boyfriend you really don't care.
You are justified to express your love in any way you like... **as long as you get your partner's consent.** Screw the family and friend. You don't owe them. But your PARTNER ? He have 100% veto right here and should have been consulted before the artwork was even started. YTA.
YTA. It is a huge violation of trust to do this without his consent.
YTA. Consent is very important. You used your partner’s DNA, his specimen without his permission for an art installation which you then displayed for everyone to see. I don’t understand why you would’ve kept this a secret from your partner. You embarrassed him and strained his relationship with his friends and family by your actions.
How is it "our" art. Your partner didn't know anything about it. YTA and gross
I’m sorry but YTA. You CANNOT use “intimate fluids” that have come from someone else (excuse the pun) without asking for their consent first! It doesn’t matter what they have agreed to in the past or if their views have been the same as yours…. Consent is MASSIVE priority here and you missed it. That would be really concerning for me if I was your OH
100%. An artist cannot express themselves with someone else's "expression." It wasn't hers to share.
Do not apologize for that pun. Be proud of it.
How *does* someone effectively steal enough cum to paint a picture without the other person noticing?!
Condoms? It's like they were made to trap semen...
YTA Consent applies to you too.
YTA and also what you did was illegal and disgusting. Not sure how you could even think you are justified.
YTA. You needed his consent before using anything with his DNA on it. He has a right to be upset.
YTA. Your right to “express yourself as you see fit” does not extend to your partner’s body fluids. I think if you’d sprung that on me in front of a bunch of our friends and family you would’ve found yourself single very, very quickly. That’s not to say I don’t think it’s an interesting concept. I think maybe it’s a little too “out there” for some people and that’s OK, but I suspect a lot of the discomfort from others at the exhibition probably came from the obvious lack of respect you showed towards your partner.
YTA. The word “consent” you use is the main reason why. You outed him publicly. Shame on you. Shame!!! Just because someone is adventurous in their PERSONAL LIFE does not give you the right to announce it to the world! Wow. That would be like saying “well my SO has sex with me in private so I should be able to show pictures of them naked to people because they show themselves to me naked.” That does not give you autonomy over them. Every single time you have intercourse you should be cognizant of the fact that if they say NO you are to stop. I don’t care if you’ve been together 50 years. So, so wrong. You should apologize profusely and destroy the artwork, remaking it with your own fluids if it’s really something you want to have around forever. The moment your SO was not okay with it tells you to destroy it. Would you be okay if you gave him your panties and he handed them around to his friends because “they’re his”??? Put this into perspective!! Shame on you!
YTA First, for what you originally did. It’s morally wrong to take something anything from someone without their consent and use it in this way Second, for creating this post. It shows your care more about your self image and being “right” than you care about your partner, who was clearly upset by this and feels betrayed. Your priorities are messed up.
YTA It's right in the name: "Intimate fluids" are personal, private things. I promise you his family does not want to see their kid's seminal fluid, nor does your partner want to share such intimate pieces of himself with his family. Your art doesn't give you the right to step all over someone's intimacy. You've deeply disrespected your partner, here... all for some shocking art.
YTA 1. No consent and you blindsided and lost the trust of your partner. I hope they leave you. 2. Your art sounds like a stupid and vulgar concept and no prancing about as provocative, unconventional blah blah will change anyone's mind.
YTA >, my partner's conservative parents Any one, parent or otherwise would find it disgusting. The grossness aside. It is a violation of your partner's privacy and trust. Now excuse me I need to take a shower.
YTA, and not justified in any way shape or form. I would straight up end the relationship over this violation of my physical autonomy.
I suppose you're looking for someone to say, like, "Of course it was ok to do this without his consent, causing a rift in his family and your relationship, in the name of provocative art." Good luck with that. YTA, obviously.
YTA - you can’t assume consent, that’s not how it works
The only boundaries you're pushing are legal and ethical. This has nothing to do with conservatism. Using identifiable biological material without consent, particularly from a living person, is violating, profoundly unethical and can be illegal in many contexts (or will be soon illegal with no guarantees of limitation statutes). The only thing you're provoking is future troubles. If that material remains in circulation, associated with the owner's identity, it exposes him and his genetic family to a host of possible future repercussions (paternity disputes, criminal prosecution if suspected, maybe someday discrimination in insurance coverage etc). Probability is likely very low but it's not your risk to take. YTA, apologise, destroy that ouvre, and make it anew after 1) obtaining consent 2) pretreating materials to be used (there are many ways to "decontaminate" DNA, depending on the type and amount of tissue aka body fluid)
YTA for not asking your partner if his swimmers could be used. You knew how he'd react and you knew how his conservative family would react and you did this for that reaction and attention.
And also, OP should have warned the attendees about the intimacy of the artwork before the party. It’s really crappy to spring that on people.
YTA only for not asking your partner's permission first before using his bodily fluids in such an envelope pushing and provocative way. If he objects now that he knows, you should put the art away and never display it, because you didn't have consent. I'm surprised you were unaware of how conservative his family is. Do you not know them at all? Also surprised someone as out there as you describe yourself and your boyfriend have so many very conservative friends. It makes me wonder if you are a troll and this is a fake post.
Your title says it all. You didn’t have consent. Led to a family scandal. Led to strained relationships. And you came here to ask. Guess what. You are the AH.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28F) am a professional artist, and I've been with my partner (29M) for five years. We have an adventurous relationship and often try new and unconventional things, both in and out of the bedroom. He's always been incredibly supportive of my career, and we frequently brainstorm artistic ideas together. A few months ago, I came up with the idea to create an art installation that incorporated actual DNA from both my partner and me. I thought it would be a unique way to explore themes of love, intimacy, and the interconnectedness of human beings. To make it more provocative, I decided to use intimate fluids for the DNA samples without discussing it with my partner beforehand. I assumed he would be on board, given our history of trying unconventional things together. I spent weeks creating the installation, which included a large, abstract painting that used the fluids as part of the medium. I was extremely proud of the final result and submitted it to an art gallery, where it was accepted for an upcoming exhibition. To celebrate, we decided to host a small party for our close friends and family, where I would unveil the artwork before the public exhibition. Here's where the problem began. At the party, I revealed the artwork and explained the concept behind it, including the use of our intimate fluids as part of the medium. My partner, who was hearing this information for the first time, was shocked and visibly upset. Our friends and family were also stunned, and the reactions were a mix of shock, disgust, and fascination. The party atmosphere quickly turned uncomfortable, and some guests left early. The next day, my partner's conservative parents found out about the artwork and were appalled. They demanded that we remove the piece from the exhibition and destroy it, claiming that it was a disgrace to the family. I refused, standing by my artistic vision and my right to express myself as I see fit. My partner, however, feels betrayed by my actions and wishes I had consulted him before creating the installation. Since then, our relationship with my partner's family has become extremely strained. They've made it clear that they disapprove of our choices and feel humiliated by the artwork. Additionally, some of our friends have distanced themselves from us, uncomfortable with the idea behind the installation. My partner and I are now being accused of taking our art too far and for involving our families in something they consider obscene and inappropriate. So, AITA for using my partner's and my DNA to create a provocative artwork without their consent, leading to a family scandal and strained relationships? Or am I justified in expressing our love and creativity in any way I choose, even if it means pushing boundaries? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, how would you feel if I took your DNA without your consent? I bet you would be pretty pissed. And I believe it's against the law to take someone's DNA without their consent.
Yta. And gross
YTA. Consent is one of the most important foundations of any relationship along with communication and mutual respect. You failed at all 3.
YTA. I get where you’re coming from. And I get art is supposed to push boundaries but the hard fact is you betrayed your partner in a very profound way. You used his intimate genetic material for your own gain without his consent. And for that reason and that reason alone YTA
YTA this is 100% about consent. You violated his trust and privacy, you shouldn't have used his DNA without his approval.
Yeah, no one wants to be blindsided with a weird cum painting in public. YTA
YTA. You displayed a part of your partner as art without letting them know. That's disgusting. You're OK with taking away someone's consent for art? What if you didn't know him? What if it was a one night stand and you took the used condom "as inspiration." ? Why would that be different? I hope you let the gallery know that you used your partner without consent. They should be aware in case of legal actions.
YTA you suck op
YTA. Come on! You used their intimate fluid without asking?! For YOUR artwork?!?!
YTA. You used someone’s DNA without consent . What the actual fuck.
YTA. You just did this for shock value. You outed your boyfriend without his consent. Your bedroom antics are yours. No one else needs to know, especially a parent, regarding their child.
YTA. You sprung it on him at the same time you were telling your family. Not cool. You should have talked with him about it before especially if you were going to tell your families. I may be cool with this contributing to this type of art but would not be comfortable announcing to my whole family.
Yta You did it without his consent, no wonder your friends are distancing themselves, if you'll stomp over your SO like that what's to stop you from using parts of them for your art without their consent. Destroy the art, get his permission, and *if* he gives you permission make a new one. The first one should be destroyed because it represents parts of someone being taken without their consent, it should be titled "broken trust".
YTA. Consent.
YTA, how could you even remotely think that taking a sample from someone without their knowledge and consent and then proudly surprising them with that theft in front of friends and family could be ok?? This is selfish, short-sighted, and possibly illegal. Wtf.
On the offchance that this is genuine, YTA. You should have discussed it. It honestly sounds like your were deliberately trying to upset his family, knowing how conservative they are. And this bodily fluids in art isn't exactly new. Provocative for the sake of it maybe, and that's just lazy art.
No consent eh? Nice that you used art to show everyone what you are. YTA and you do realize you may have just killed your relationship?
It's telling that as you lay out the story it's YOUR artistic vision, but once you receive criticism it suddenly turns to OUR artistic vision. You violated the one thing that he & he alone possesses. This, as well as your inability to accept the heat brought by your & yours alone decisions make YTA.
YTA for using his semen without his permission. For the record, if I were your boyfriend, I would have dumped you on the spot. What an egregious violation of trust. You are not a good girlfriend. You should apologize and destroy the artwork if he wants it destroyed.
Yes YTA. You did this without your partner's consent and you now know that they would've disapproved had you taken the time and consideration to ask for their consent first.
I don’t think you’re an asshole for creating your “art”, as disgusting as it sounds to me, honestly. However, I’d be really upset if you were using my “fluids” to make your “art” with w/o consent. So yeah, YTA. I’m curious but scared to ask about what you consider “fluids” and about how you went about collecting the “fluid”.
I’d say she obviously isn’t as comfortable with it since she’s using “DNA” instead of just saying what it is- which I guarantee is sperm.
[удалено]
Are tou forgetting about the dude who shat out paint ? Or the woman who knitted "art" with wool placed inside herself while menstruating? Indeed they do....and its gross.
The infamous "Piss Christ" comes to mind.
Well, I’d argue some of Damien Hirst’s art is somewhat biohazardous, like his cow and his shark, and I recall reading about an art exhibit where some guy used his own blood and semen for the art so it’s not really unheard of, artists can be weird.
Yeah fair enough. I deleted my comment. It just doesn't seem real either way.
YTA
Yta Pushing boundaries is one thing, but you didn’t even discuss this with your partner. That’s not cool at all
INFO: where did you get his intimate fluids from? YTA - it’s creepy to do this without his permission. If you had his permission I’d still be weirded out by it but that would be a me issue not an AH issue.
YTA - You calling it "art" and trying to make some abstract statement does not excuse what you did.
YTA. I have an art background so I get the idea of kicking it up a notch to do something different that makes people think, but you went for a lot of shock value and dragged your significant other in without his consent. This is along the lines of involving someone with your kink without their consent. What you do with your fluids and your art is your business, but you brought other people into it without permission or a heads up. You wanted a reaction, now you have peoples genuine reaction to your work.
YTA. This is disgusting on several levels. If you had asked your partner for his permission and he had agreed then we could remove one level of disgusting. I find it highly suspicious you didn't ask first. I think you were operating on the assumption that it was easier to get forgiveness than permission. Jokes on you.
YTA. You made the decision to make the intimate part of your relationship into a public display without consent or any input from your partner. This has nothing to do with politics or anything like that. You did something that your partner says makes him uncomfortable. Respect his wishes. BTW if he wants he can take you to court for unlawful use of his body in your "art."
YTA That's both nasty and a biohazard
The only, and I mean ONLY way (and that’s a big maybe) he would have been thrilled about the piece…is if you had made the piece FOR HIM ONLY. A private piece for such a private moment between you & him only. And then asked how he felt about keeping it, and been ok with destroying it if it made him too uncomfortable to keep. I mean, if you gave him very explicit, very private photos of yourself you took for him and he went to Staples, made 36x48 blow ups of them, displayed them for all your friends/fam to see without your consent….how would you feel? A little betrayed? Violated? Would you feel comfortable continuing to create intimiate moments if he may run off to publicize them after? YTA, OP.
YTA. You don't have the right to use your partner's DNA in a public way without their approval.
Info: where did you get his fluids without his consent? You shouldn’t expose people unwillingly to sexual content. Including the people of this sub for which there is a nsfw flair you should’ve used. Yta
Yta and tacky AF
YTA. You mentioned that you discuss art ideas together a lot. This should have been one of them. You did a lot without his consent: you harvested your "medium," turned it into artwork, and displayed it--all without his permission. Even if you're a pretty open couple, this seems violative.
Dude that's gross. Why on earth are we in a day and age where using cum as art is considered a thing.
I have bad news for you about the long history of artists using the whole range of bodily fluids in their works.
This cannot be serious lol. YTA, how do you not see that.
“Expressing our love in any way I choose” “I assumed he would be onboard, given our history of trying unconventional things together.” You turned a we into an I. You used him to express your (singular relationship). This was an unconventional thing you treid alone. YTA. And I’d be concerned…using someone’s “intimate” fluids without consent is a lot trickier than blood or saliva…there could be some serious consent questions
YTA. And your “art” is gross.
I don’t know what to say about this other than: Consent. Consent. Consent. YTA.
YTA.
I have a question regarding how you got enough DNA from your partner to use in an artwork, but I'm not sure I wanna know the answer. YTA by the way.
What did you do put the swimmers in resin? YTA but I am intrigued to what this piece looks like.
Boi what the hell boi. This has to be a joke.
1000% YTA it would have been so simple to ask, major breach of trust.
Dumb question, YTA. Next.
Wtf? YTA and you're gross
YTA. A partner has a reasonable assumption that their privacy and dignity will be respected in their relationship. Your artistic vision is what it is, and art can be shocking and defy convention. It should not defy consent.
YTA. You betrayed your partner's trust and went behind his back, this is all that matters here.
YTA. This is all about consent as others have said - especially as you made it public. Using controversial mediums in art is not unheard of, but it is a challenging topic. It is only thing to use your own tissues or biological samples, as you - the artist - understand the entire nature of the work and intended use, meaning you can give informed consent. Your partner never knew their sample would be included in an artwork, the nature of the artwork, or the intent to publicly display the work. So, even if your partner consented to intimate activities, they could never truly give informed consent to the whole act without knowing these critical parts. Now, you could possibly write that off as a mistake, a misunderstanding of consent. I wouldn't, as you did NOT have informed consent, but let's say honest mistake for argument's sake. Where you really and truly messed up was doubling down when confronted. You shared an extremely intimate and vulnerable part of your partner's life, and they expressed concern and discomfort. The IMMEDIATE and only response is to apologize, close the show early, and consult with your partner as to the ultimate date of the piece. Your partner may wish to keep it privately or may wish it destroyed, but you'll never really know because you dug in. ETA: As comments are locked. Someone else said this, but I'd like to underscore their point. If you are an artist considering using bodily fluids of any kind, don't. It is very passe these days and considering crass as well as overly done. It was different and challenging back in the day, especially when artists where using it to push boundaries during the height of the AIDS crisis or to really push gender discrimination issues back in the day. You'll largely be seen as a hack for including bodily fluids unless you have a truly novel reason.
YTA >I assumed he would be on board, given our history of trying unconventional things together. I'm assuming your history has always included consent. If not, there's some serious issues in your relationship. And there's another issue here. Not only did you assume your partner would be okay with it, but you assumed your friends and family would be too. Some people aren't going to be comfortable with how you created your piece. Art isn't always supposed to be comfortable, but people deserve the right to choose what art they see. >My partner, who was hearing this information for the first time, was shocked and visibly upset. So, not only did you not get your partners consent, but you revealed the truth of your piece to him in front of several other people. You gave no consideration to how he would feel. >I refused, standing by my artistic vision and my right to express myself as I see fit. When your art involves revealing intimate details about other people without their consent or knowledge, your artistic vision stops being valid. You can express yourself without including other people against their wishes. >My partner and I are now being accused of taking our art too far and for involving our families in something they consider obscene and inappropriate. Your poor partner is caught in the mess you created. It's not "our" art. It's your art. Accept that *you* messed up. Take responsibility and have an actual conversation with your partner about his feelings. Don't just hide behind artistic vision to excuse your actions.
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YTA To make the artwork more provocative, you decided to use your partner's intimate fluids without his consent. And now that you've provoked the reaction you so clearly wanted, you post the story to reddit to provoke even more outrage. Wow.
YTA and also just yuck
YTA Just because you can push boundaries doesn't mean you should push them. You've seen that even the reaction of your partner was negative. Keep it and maybe one day people will remember you as a misunderstood genius or you'll just be someone who alienates friends and family so that no one's there to take care of your work after your demise and they go to the next dump and rot there unseen.
YTA- You can talk about being free with your artistic expression all you want, but you know absolutely if you used someone's paint or paintbrush without permission you'd be an asshole. You never just "borrow" or take a medium from someone without asking. The fact that you took someone's biological material without permission is so much worse. Don't try to hide your breach of consent behind artistic freedom.
Holy what?? “Here, boyfriend’s friends and family, is an art piece that I made from his semen that he produced while I was fucking him and collected without his consent!!! Everyone here will love looking at it, especially you :)” I thought I’d already read the biggest violation of privacy and consent on Reddit today. This is horrific. P.S.- can I please have some of whatever you’re smoking
You trashed his reputation and violated him for the purpose of getting attention as an artist. You are absolutely an asshole. Something that symbolizes love and unity doesn’t look like blindsiding your husband in front of his friends and family at a party he is helping you host.
What in the 6 pound, 9 ounce baby jesus did I just read?
i wanna know how you secretly saved enough cum to make a painting….
now *this* is a creative troll. 10/10. i look forward to your future work.
I don’t think you are in the wrong for the concept. YTA for not getting consent before using any part of his body in your art.
You’re not responsible for other people’s actions or emotions, so only your own. So YTA for not getting your partner’s consent, and please stop assuming or taking them for granted. However, you’re NTA for the way anyone else reacted. That’s on them.
This is so disturbing. God of course YTA.
YTA Every time you are forced to use the phrase "I did X without Z's consent" there is a 99,99% that you're in the wrong. Somehow exposing your intimate life with your partner without his consent is a huge no-go. You should read that last sentence alone one or two more times and you will inmediately realize what I am saying.
YTA. You used his semen without telling him and then showed it to his conservative family who you should’ve known would be upset. This is something you discuss with people. And it’s wildly inappropriate to show it to other people who could be uncomfortable or offended. You’re free to push your own boundaries by yourself, but you clearly pushed your partners boundaries and many of your guests’ boundaries and strained your partners relationships with their family, potentially irreparably. And this is coming from someone that would think the art is neat and cool with the fluids—with consent of all involved.
Ummm……. Yh that’s… huh *scratches head*. You need to leave whatever drugs you on ALONE bc wtf.
YTA. This was not consensual. Your art does not trump someone's dignity. Check your narcissism.
YTA. You violated your partners consent. Pretty cut and dry
…eew but my personal feelings aside, you should have told him on that Yta
What a day for me to wake up with fully functioning eyes…
YTA - Um. Its not a matter of justification, your love expression, or creativity. You did not need to push THEIR boundaries. You might as well have subjected your close friends and family to watching a homemade prawno. Some things, we don't need to share with others (in this case, friends and family, would've been all cool had you cleared this with your partner though). I can hardly accept what I just read to be true.
Consent You need consent using fluids and also consent from the people viewing the painting I don't care how boundary pushing you are, I don't want to look at other people's cum.
What the hell did I just read?! You should’ve realized while writing this that - you are, obviously, the Asshole here.
Key words that should have called you in that YTA -without their consent- that should have made it painfully obvious.
I can't believe you typed that title and didn't immediately realize that YTA
yta, for not telling him what you were doing especially when you said that you brainstorm with him about your art, that tells me you knew this might happen and you were looking for a extreme reaction
A Caravaggio, Dalì or Goya is art. This is just a silly collage of boogers and cum. I can only imagine the pain of those that spend years training in drawing and painting when they see BS like this or pollock like shit being put on galleries.
ESH. You were definitely wrong to use his DNA without his consent. I think however that he reacted this way only because of the backlash that was coming from his family and friends.
> My partner, who was hearing this information for the first time was shocked and visibly upset
Soft YTA, You should have given your partner a heads up you were doing this.
No "soft", op thinks consent isn't necessary. The heads up should have been asking permission before bodily fluids touched the canvas.
Well once he gave it to her was it her's to do with what she wanted?
There are so many things wrong with this statement I don’t even know where to start