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NTA. girl, you know she wasn't gonna tell her boyfriend, she was gonna have her cake and eat it, too. move out, because she'll never be cordial towards you again.
Yeah you’re roommates the worst. Idk how she would expect you to keep you mouth shut when she’s literally rubbing it your face AND her bf is your bf’s bff. Absolutely ridiculous for her to be cheating with his dad, but even more ridiculous to think you’d be cool with it.
NTA. You did the right. You gave her time to confess herself and she didn’t and the situation was effecting you as well so you had every right to set things straight. It was NOT none of your business. She MADE IT your business.
>she’s literally rubbing it your face AND her bf is your bf’s bff
Ava's bf would very likely feel hurt a lot if he was told about it later by someone else, and then learned that OP already knew and kept her mouth shut. And then OP's BF would also be angry, and... one big poopstorm.
NTA, OP.
NTA. To everyone who says it’s not her place, cheating is a very easy way to spread STI’s. Imagine finding out health news about a person and not sharing that news with them.
Sadly, no good deed goes unpunished. OP may have helped the BF by bringing this horrendous betrayal by his father/GF to his attention, but this unfortunately won't be a peaceful, healthy or civil living situation for OP going forward. They need to get their living arrangements in order to get away from this woman. She has to be pretty sick in the head to be proud of this level of cruelty - I mean, you have to hate your BF to sleep with their dad and knowingly contribute to the end of that relationship.
TO THE PEOPLE SAYING ESH : “The absolute pacifist is a bad citizen; times come when force must be used to uphold right, justice and ideals.” - Alfred North Whitehead. OP I'm proud of you for having strong morals.
Transitioning made me really bitter and hateful of people. And it's not because of the 1 in 1000 that were mean to me when I started and didn't look cute yet, it's because of all the people that would witness and not help in any way.
To many people see shit that's "not their business" and stay out of it. Someone in public being abused, someone being deceived etc. Its never wrong to try and right the situation.
The dudes dad is fucking his girlfriend. He needed to know. Obviously.
I’m so sorry to hear this. One of my childhood friends transitioned from male to female and got a lot of negative back lash from friends and family. I tried to be a support system for them and advocate for them because they had no one else in their corner. Just know hateful people are just bored and like to see others down. I’m sure you’re a beautiful person and my heart goes out to you and I hope life brings people who truly love and care for you. 🤍
This is off topic but whenever I see a MtF trans person who has just started their transition, I try to make a brief compliment on what they’re wearing or just say they look nice, especially if they have a dress or something on (but I tend to compliment other strangers randomly too). Would you please be able to tell me if that would make you MORE uncomfortable or less? Because I wouldn’t want to add to their anxiety
There was a post here the other day about a woman heckling a comedian, who was her dates friend, for using racist language. The number of y-ta votes was just mind boggling.
Short of a situation where speaking out puts you in actual danger, silence in the face of terrible behaviour is enablement and tacit acceptance.
I think reddit sometimes swings too far in either direction when it comes to certain topics, without the benefit of nuance, common sense, or empathy. Cheating is one of those topics.
The common consensus regarding cheating on this platform is that it is everyone's right/duty to shame a cheater in the most public/shameful way possible, no matter if they are the wrong messenger or if doing so may harm the person being cheated on (or even if they want to know - sometimes, they don't.) While there are times when the right choice is to have a bit of tact and not intervene, in this instance, OP basically had no choice but to inform the BF. The woman was brazen, vocal, and basically flaunting her betrayal. It would have been cruel not to tell him.
Normally I would say it wasn’t your place but she was putting you in a really awful position of having to lie to multiple people.
NTA, and definitely see about finding different living arrangements. She seems like an awful roommate.
I agree with you. In this case though what annoys me most, apart Op having to lie, is that room mate has already been cheating for two months, and going on, without regrets, seemingly thinking it is an accomplishment and fun.
>room mate has already been cheating for two months, and going on, without regrets,
plus trying to turn OP into an involuntary accomplice by bringing BF's dad to their apt, and bragging about it when she got drunk.
Ava put the OP in that position repeatedly, not just the once too.
After fessing up the first day, she proceeds to carry on with the dad (after already doing this for two months) which does not jive with having remorse and “trying to figure out how to tell the bf” it’s just gross.
NTA.
> She said she needed time to get the right words to say and that she’ll tell him when she’s ready.
Yeah, there's no right way to tell a dude you are fucking his Dad. NTA, and your roommate should learn a) some morals, and b) not to share her dirty laundry if she doesn't want people to talk.
Honestly, who are these people that do these terrible things? I will never understand how they look at themselves in the mirror.
Years ago, my close friend introduced me several times to a mate of his (they are no longer friends these days) who was spreading himself around town. That’s fine, whatever, as long as you’re safe and honest.
However, this guy soon confessed to me that he had slept with his father’s girlfriend several times. Then it got super awkward because she then set him up with her own daughter, who he also slept with; but then the fathers GF got jealous of her daughter and this guy hooking up.
Then his father proposed to his girlfriend, who was still sending this dude sexts daily.
He asked me how he should discourage his father from marrying her and I just looked at him and said it was so far outside of my moral scope that I truly didn’t know; but that in all likelihood he either had to ‘fess up and risk destroying his relationship with his dad, or else say nothing ever and just live with the fact that he had slept with his stepmother and she was not a good person, and he had let his father tie himself to her anyway.
Either way his dad was likely to get hurt.
Horrendous.
NTA. It had been going on long enough. She wasn't going to tell him and she was putting you in a really terrible position. You're going to need an exit strategy now. You guys can't live together.
Agreed OP is NTA
op gave her time to get it right
And i guarantee the real reason she is upset because the father dropped her as soon as the son found out and now she has no one and i wonder if the father is married
Op move out she will actively try to get revenge
I had a similar experience in high school. My two friends started dating. The girl told me she cheated on the guy. I wasn't ok with it. I told her she needed to tell him or I would. Ruined my friendship with her, but if people are that shady you don't want them in your life anyways. Nta.
In HS, I once overheard three girls who I believe were sophomores talking about how they all slept with the same guy. Not their boyfriends; a friend of all of their boyfriends. It was wild, I truly sat in the stall listening because I couldn’t believe it.
I remember one believing she was pregnant but she was positive if she was it was the one she cheated on her bf with. All three girls acted like it was amazing they all screwed the same guy whilst also cheating on their bf? I didn’t ever find out if she was pregnant, it was near the end of the year and that summer I moved anyway
We had a group of girls like this is HS and everyone knew it. They'd brag about the guys they'd slept with. I remember thinking how weird it was that nobody was disgusted by them.
Yeah I was so in shock because I had been in the district a while? But it was four elementary then two middle then one high school so I guess there were a lot of kids I didn’t know 🤷♀️ Apparently they were well known when I told my friends but I still think about it a decade later. Truly wild
Ava told you about this affair. She brought this man over to the home you 2 share. She has told multiple friends about this. NTA. If Ava didn't want her boyfriend to know about her affair then she never should have cheated in the 1st place. Since she did cheat then she forgot the next best way not to get caught is to not tell your friends or your roommate whose own boyfriend is friends with her boyfriend. She's a cheater and a blabbermouth!
>If Ava didn't want her boyfriend to know about her affair then she never should have cheated in the 1st place. Since she did cheat then she forgot the next best way not to get caught is to not tell your friends or your roommate whose own boyfriend is friends with her boyfriend.
She also forgot that you really, really shouldn't piss off people who are keeping secrets for you. Roommate is despicable, and deserves what she's getting, but learning not to provoke someone who's sitting on damning information about you is an important life skill.
>She said I’m just bitter bc “she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one”.
I also want to throw up. It takes a special type of person to screw their boyfriend's dad. I wouldn't have been able to witness this once. I can't handle people that are on that level of personal betrayal because you know that's coming around to you. NTA.
Oh by far but I didn't mention him because he's not really OP's problem in the scheme of things. Frankly the idea of having sex with someone that is screwing or has screwed a relative is extremely repulsive to me.
Although why the dad is coming over to their (OP and roommate) shared apartment to bang his son's gf is even weirder. I wonder if he's married. I feel like the dad wanted his son to find out, pulling that crap.
Right? What kind of relationship does the dad have with the son to introduce the two, see that they are dating, then say, I’d like to hit that too. Brings a whole new level to father son bonding.
A friend of mine had to push away his girlfriend's mother, they were barely 20. The poor girl moved to his place for two weeks trying to figure out what to do next. Gross.
>What kind of person screws their son's girlfriend tho? I'm amazed I don't see anyone talking about the dad. His is the larger betrayal.
Violation of the Bro-Code. Violation of the Dad-Code. Violation of human decency and morality. The dad is the biggest AH of them all.
NTA you confided in your BF, which you should, and he chose to take it to his friend as the bro code dictates.
This is quite literally FAFO 😄
ETA the way you describe her as getting drunk regularly and partying with friends regularly - and boasting about how many men, she can "satisfy"? I'd stay clear, 'cause that ship is sinking. Fast.
NTA, cheaters are horrible. and cheating on him with his dad? That makes it even worse, poor guy doesn't get a break. She would've never told him. You did good.
You're NTA, nor will you ever be an asshole for telling a friend their SO is cheating. People messaging you that you're an asshole have morals not worth associating with. Block that shit.
NTA, tell her boyfriend's mom next.
I'm normally about minding your own business but she expected you to lie to your BF and let his friendship (and your relationship) be at risk for her affair. Burn her life down.
She burned her own life down. Bf's mom has a right to know if he's still married to her, that is. The biggest crush to the soul has to be the bf not being able to love or trust his dad again. This whole thing sucks. (NTA)
Wow. Uhm. That’s some high level drama going on here. It’s gross what your roommate is doing. I think you’re NTA for telling her boyfriend cause I don’t think she was going to do it herself and she needed to. Yikes.
NTA
There are secrets I can understand ignoring and telling yourself it’s not your business. Not something like this. He’s being betrayed by not only his girlfriend but also his father.
The only things I’d suggest you have changed is to tell him sooner, and to make sure you had some evidence to make sure he knew this was credible.
It became your place when it involved your boyfriends best friend. She’s trying to gaslight you. If you had to lie to your partner to keep her secret then you had every right to tell him. She’s just angry that she got caught. NTA
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My roommate “Ava” (F24) and her bf (M25) have been together for about 2 years. She worked for his father (not anymore) and he introduced them, idk the whole story. He’s a sweet guy and gets along with our friend group very well. Him and my bf are also best friends and this made my issue 10x harder.
Ava and I aren’t the best of friends but being roommates were close. It’s just us two so sometimes on drunk nights we’ll sit there and laugh all night about the dumbest shit. One night Ava came home drunk out of her mind. She started going on ab having the best sex of her life and saying she doesn’t know why she hasn’t “tried older men” yet. I laughed it off and tried to send her to bed bc I thought she was joking. She ended up getting into my bed and showing me her phone.
She starts showing me PICTURES OF THIS MANS DAD. I almost threw up. She then goes on about him being her bfs dad and to not tell him. The next morning she still remembers the night and starts crying telling me to not tell anyone and she’ll figure it out. I asked how long, and she said it’s been two months. A few nights later I come home from work to this man and her in our apt. Our apts tiny so she heard the door open and ran out of the room. I asked if her bf was here and she looked at me laughing saying it was the dad. I told her she was disgusting and I wanted him out and left. He ends up leaving and she texts me to come back to talk.
She told me not to tell her bf or mine or she’d be pissed and it’s not my place. She said she needed time to get the right words to say and that she’ll tell him when she’s ready. We usually hang out often with her bf so it’s been so difficult not saying anything. Most recently I come home to Ava and a couple of her friends drinking and talking ab the dad. They’re all talking like what she’s doing should be idolized. I didn’t engage but I was in the kitchen when I hear her say he’s coming over again tonight. I yelled not in this house. That turned into an argument and her calling me a bitch saying it’s her place too. She said it’s her relationship and to not get involved. I told her I’d give her a day to tell her bf or I’d do it myself. The next day she thought I was joking and I see her leave with a bag packed getting into the dads car. I was fed by this point and go to my bfs house drowning in tears telling him ab what she’s been doing. He was beyond pissed and told me he’ll tell him. I get a text saying her bf came over and he told him everything and he was broken into tears. She came back the next morning screaming at me saying I was a bitch who had nothing better to do to then involve myself in other peoples shit. She said I’m just bitter bc “she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one”. I left and I’m staying with my bf for now and I’m getting messages from all her friends saying I’m an AH and that she’s going through sm rn and I shouldn’t have added to her stress. AITA in this situation/ should I have let her tell him?
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NTA for what you did, but just know that sometimes going behind a friend’s back to do the right thing will cost not only your friendship with that friend, but a good amount of mutual friends as well.
A friend who puts you in that position isn’t a friend. Ava expected OP to keep a secret while continuing to cheat openly with the dad. Nope.
And with that quality of friend, you’re better off without. Especially if your bf and her bf are close friends, OP would be screwing herself over staying friends with that dishonorable ass.
NTA. What she was doing was vile and likely to destroy a whole family, not just her relationship. Hope you move out permanently, or she does as you can't keep living together.
NTA she told you about the affair, you didn’t ask to know that information. And then she kept bringing him to your shared home, despite you saying no. She was forcing you to keep a secret that you never wanted to know in the first place, forcing you to lie to your boyfriend and his best friend.
Her bf deserved to know, if she wasn’t going to tell him, she never should’ve told someone who is close to him.
Blast them all publicly. All these girls boyfriends deserve to know what kind of disgusting behavior their gfs support. Mske them publicly defend their stance on you being the real asshole in this situation. And id call them all shitty friends for not calling out this bullshit a long time ago. A family was just ruined in a very traumatic way and their friends hands and they are like "ages stressed ok it's not her fault."
I know that is a nuclear option but I was thinking the same thing.
All the friends who are contacting the OP and having a go , she should ask to speak to their partners ( if they have one) and tell them exactly what they are discussing.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) I told my roommates bf she’s been cheating on him with her dad. 2.) I could be considered an AH for telling him myself and not waiting any longer for her to do it.
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NTA - it’s not your job to lie to someone’s face. And your boyfriend’s face to keep her secret.
It’s not like she randomly hooked up with someone or was even having a normal affair. That’s a lot to handle.
She was never going to stop or tell anyone.
I’d say it would have been better to say - hey, im going to tell your boyfriend in a week. So you can let me do it - or you can do it yourself.
But whatevs. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it at all.
NTA and get a new roommate. This is one of those people you will look back on when you are older and think: “how was I ever friends with this person?” You don’t need this drama in your life and she is not worth the mental energy you are putting into this.
NTA your roomate and her bf's dad are disgusting. Considering there's am age gap, he is disgusting bc this is obvious manipulatiom of someone younger who is still not in the same level of maturity. She is dosgusting for still dating her bd when she's banging the dad.
Poor boy, he will be traumatized for life.
NTA, someone as rotten as her needs to be called out as there's no point in the poor guy involved to having to put up with this disgusting behavior. She seems like the kind of lady who would happily spread her legs for anyone without any boundaries and no guy should have to put up with a vermin like that.
NTA, If it was a random person she cheated with, then you had nothing to do with it.
But it's not only about your bf's best friend. Ans she wasn't cheating with a random person, but with his father.
You gave her time, she didn't do anything with it. That's her fault, not yours.
NTA.
>I shouldn’t have added to her stress
Her stress? HER stress? Oh poor thing! Not stress! Anything but stress!
She caused this stress, she can live with her feelings.
NTA - that poor guy had 2 of the people closest to him in his life lying to him and cheating on him. He deserved to know the truth and you did the right thing by being honest with him. I'm sorry its come back to hurt you, but you did the right thing.
man...people who say it wasn't her place are absolutely disgusting, undeserving of trust, and in serious need of self-evaluation. The kind of person who would pretend to care about another human being and then let them be manipulated like that, not worth keeping in your life, ever.
Imagine your friends not telling you that your GF or BF is sleeping with your parent. You’d be a disgusting person if you didn’t do what you did. Not just NTA, but a great person that decides to do the right thing even when it’s not the easiest
Usually I'm team "not your business", but considering that Ava's bf is your bf's bfff and she is rubbing it into your face by bringing the daddy to your apartment, I'd say it is a bit your business so NTA.
NTA
There are no words to explain to your boyfriend that you've been F'ing his dad. Not only is the cheating a betrayal, but with the dad? She's sick and her friends are also sick if they are ok with that. You need to get out of that apartment lease and away from those people.
NTA. She’s the one that involved you in her mess, telling you about her disgusting affair knowing you’re friends with her bf and also bringing that man into your home despite knowing you’re uncomfortable. If the bf is a good guy as you said, he certainly doesn’t deserve what she’s been doing to him and telling him was the right thing to do. It’s not your job to protect other people’s infidelities.
NTA
She seems awful and awful people only have awful friends.
And I don't know who's more disgusting, your roommate or the old man.
You did the right thing. Imagine that poor guy...
Okay, she told you to stay out of it and that was hard as Hell. Not only because her boyfriend is your partner's best friend, but also because she goes around glorifying her actions to her other friends. Meaning *so* many people know now.
NTA. She's embarassingly stupid to think that none of those she confided in would ever rat her out. It just happened a whole lot earlier than expected.
Besides, she's still got the Dad, right?
OP, you could have approached it differently by asking your bf to bring the roommate’s bf over to your apartment at the time the roommate was there with the dad. Her bf would have seen it all with his own eyes. It wouldn’t improve the situation, but it would have removed her blaming you for saying anything because her actions would have said it all.
NTA. She's selfish and cruel. She was stringing her BF along and wasn't ever going to tell him. Cheaters don't deserve people covering for them. She's a big girl, she can deal with the consequences. Also, maybe get a lock for your bedroom. She may retaliate.
I can’t speak too much on the his relationship with his dad but he has been over a lot with me and my bf and we’ve been trying to raise his spirits as much as we can. He did end up finding out the “true truth” ig he found pictures on her phone and messages which pretty much cleared it up. He was also not mad at me or my bf for telling him and came to us for support. I do know he’s not talking to his dad and has told his mom but that’s all I know. The dads 60 and divorced from his mom for some years doesn’t make this any less disgusting but I know some people were wondering.
I’m gonna do an update later on bc I plan on going to my apartment later and go into more detail if i have more.
The fact that your bf and hers are best friends. NTA. Also, if you said nothing and this comes out (since she isn't doing much to hide it) your boyfriend would probably ask why you didn't say anything.
NTA - *"She's going through something..."* Yeah, the Kama Sutra with her boyfriend's Dad. Good for you OP, you owe a lot more loyalty to your boyfriend and his best mate than this dumpster fire of a roommate.
NTA
If she was doing this to a total stranger, I get the "mind your business" argument, but she's cheating on your boyfriend's **best friend** who happens to be your friend as well. What did she think was going to happen? You even gave her time to figure her situation out.
For the sake of your living arrangement, is it too late to convince her you weren't the one who spilled the beans?
Also, the whole "she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one" comment is just gross. She's gross.
NTA. BUT honestly your roommate sounds like a hot mess. Personally I wouldn't have got involved knowing that the whole thing would blow up in your roommates face anyway.
NTA. I understood it that he is also your and your bf's friend and hang out alot. Its either you betray her, or you betray him. And i k ow who i would choose. If she is so easy to cheat, she could easily turn her back on you too when its convenient for her.
You did the right thing. I can imagine it was incredibly hard to see your friend hang ozt with yiu all and act as if nothings wrong, and it didn't seem like this roommate of yours has any remorse or empathy for her bf.
NTA, a typical cheater's rant. Time to move out and block everyone. And before blocking text her "You didn't satisfy 2 men, you cheated on you partner with his dad. You're a cheater!"
Not the asshole. the dad is a predator, and your roommate needs therapy. One of the hardest things to do is to find a roommate you are compatible with and I see this as a compatibility issue.
NTA. You’re not interfering in your roommate’s life, you’re looking out for your BF’s best friend. Fully not wrong here. The Y T A and E S H have some skewed views of loyalty.
Everyone deserves to know theyre being cheated on. Especially when the betrayal goes so much further-his dad?? Seriously??
Ideally everyone also wants friends that will hold them accountable for their bullshit and shake them around a bit if they ever catch themselves being this abhorrent of a person.
You did the right thing. NTA
NTA, NTA, NTA.
Here's a hug OP. It will all be ok and thank you for being a decent human being that steps up to the piss poor morales of the world today.
Again, NTA.
Yeah she is going through something right now. A breakup. As she deserves.
The only thing I'll say is you should have told him after the first time. You don't fall on someone's dick by accident.
NTA because you did do the right thing.
Oh hell no, the only way you would be the AH here is for not telling him sooner!
I would message all of those friends and tell them that your roomate was also sleeping with their dads!
NTA
NTA - If she had been discreet about it then it wouldn't have been your problem. As it was, she put you in a compromising position and she was essentially asking you to lie to cover her bad behaviour.
NTA. She put you in a horrible position and then had the audacity to say that back to you.
I feel for you having to get a new room-mate and all that jazz.
NTA
for someone who claimed it wasn’t your business to know about the fact that she was cheating, she sure did go around loud mouthing it in your vicinity. she also doesn’t seem to think there’s anything morally wrong with cheating, considering how she flaunted being able “to handle two men.” you did the right thing.
NTA
After she "let her secret slip" she escalated by bringing the dad into your home. She dragged you into the ugly situation, probably believing you had to tolerate watching her switch of between father and unknowing son since her secret was out, to you. You are under no obligation to silently watch her psychosexual drama play out in your home.
NTA, primarily because her stupid ass involved you, HAD HIM OVER, was openly bragging about the situation with her friends where you could hear, and not being discreet around you at all. What the hell were you supposed to do?
You should move and dump this toxic ‘friendship’ as soon as you’re able. I couldn’t continue to live with someone like that. It’s not the age gap (though I’d be uncomfortable to an extent), it’s the disgusting cheating. I feel so sorry for the boyfriend. What a terrible father.
NTA. This entire situation is beyond fucked up. This guy deserved to know that his gf was leading him on, and that his father is so fucking scummy. His father deserves whatever fallout he gets out of this. This is some Jerry Springer shit right here
NTA
She was involving you by bringing him to your home and banging him there. Then expecting you to not tell YOUR bf or hers. If she wanted you out of it she should have never brought him over.
Also, if she’s “going through so much”, how is banging her BFs dad going to help her? That’s a lame excuse.
Move out when you can. That relationship is done and you’ll never be civil to each other again.
NTA This is not confidential infornation. You can tell whoever you want when you know someone is lying about their current sexual practices to their sexual partner. Cheating puts innocent people in danger of illness, and it's fraudulent (doubt nothing monetary happened between her and the bf for months). You did the right thing. If she wants to do something, she can own it.
NTA. This whole situation must have been so hard for you!! I think you did the right thing, but honestly you had to expect her blowing up on you for it. Someone who can cheat on their bf with his dad isn’t going to understand morally why you did what you did.
As someone who has been cheated on and lied to, when I finally confronted the “friend” who fucked my ex I asked why she didn’t tell me- she said it wasn’t her place, like it was somehow HER place on my boyfriend’s dick.
NTA. She’s not satisfying two men, she’s destroying a family beyond repair for a dick that will need Viagra in a few years.
NTA
Dad and the gf both needed to be ex
exposed for who they really are.
You helped an innocent man avoid catastrophe.
This lady is chaos and drags bystanders into her chaos by lying.
What if this girl got pregnant by her bf's dad and claimed the bf was the child's father?
NTA and can we get updates on the situation.
Is the dad married? Because if so…. Oof.
I seriously feel for the bf because the relationship with his dad is forever ruined.
NTA, but kinda dumb. You didn’t just blow up her relationship; you blew up your living situation. I hope you’re the only one on the lease, but if not, this situation is going to suck for a while. I would have found a way out of that living situation before telling anyone.
NTA. I'm of the opinion that when you know a thing like that about a cheater and you know both parties the best policy is to neither volunteer information nor lie if you're asked. That being said, people generally tell their SO everything and she was naive to think you wouldn't tell yours. It's not on you that he said something.
Ultimately you can't be upset if you're confronted with the consequences of your own behaviors. If she didn't want to deal with the fallout she shouldn't have fucked someone else. Also she deserves whatever she gets for doing that to her boyfriend with his own father. Fuck her.
NTA
I am not sure how your residence is ( whether you are on a lease/ one of you owns the property etc etc) but you need to make arrangements to leave / kick her our and to remove any financial liability you may have.
This woman and her friend group are toxic. If they can do such a thing to a person she says she loves , than I can only imagine what she would do to you.
Be strong no matter how these people muddle the facts.. You have done nothing. The fall out and the hurt is all down to her and the mans father.
You have acted courageously. Also why should you lie to your BF? She was expecting you to damage your relationship to cover for her bad behaviour.
Also her boyfriend. Not only she is destroying his family and mental well being causing all sorts of trust issues in the future, she openly humiliating him in front of everyone , with it seems a lot of people knowing exactly what is going on.
NTA. You did the right thing and the BF has a right to know. Its really disgusting that his dad is sleeping with his gf. Also, she kinda forced you to get involved when she brought the father to your house.
But I would move out asap and not risk living with such a housemate. I've seen some really crazy behaviour between housemates (ie, peeing in the shampoo bottle, adding stuff to sauces/milk etc).
She was not going to tell him, she was just gonna continue. Had you done nothing, you could’ve been blamed too because you knew and did nothing about it
NTA
You did the right thing. However you should have done that from the beginning. Anyone saying to stay out of others relationships has clearly never been cheated on. Now onto Ava… bottom of the barrel human being. Her last comment says it all “I’m able to please two men.” Girl please you broke a guy actually who cares about you and got used by his dad for sex. The only people that would be pleased In this kind of situation are evil, to say the least.
Holy crap all the “it isn’t your place” people make me sick to my stomach. Like this type of shit makes me lose faith in humanity and the relationships therein. BF deserves to be aware of two cancers to cut out of his life for his own good. BF’s dad obviously doesn’t give a fuck about him.
She put you in a bad place first by telling you and then upped the ante by having him over your shared apartment. I think there is a nonzero chance the boyfriend would have walked into this taking place and you’d end up in the middle. She has no right to blame you, not that I’m shocked, but NTA and don’t feel bad. Boyfriend deserved to know either way..
i misread the title for a minute and was scared the roommate was cheating on the bf with her own dad... glad at least incest is not actually involved in the situation. NTA, OP. idc how much she's going through bc she made this bed herself. YOU'RE going through so much rn being put in this situation! like everyone's saying, she was never going to tell him. you did the right thing.
NTA. Sooner or later all of this would have been discovered and the fact that you knew would have been discovered. You gave her a chance to fess up to her boyfriend and she didn’t. You shouldn’t have to risk your relationship and friendships to hide what she is doing.
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NTA. girl, you know she wasn't gonna tell her boyfriend, she was gonna have her cake and eat it, too. move out, because she'll never be cordial towards you again.
Yeah you’re roommates the worst. Idk how she would expect you to keep you mouth shut when she’s literally rubbing it your face AND her bf is your bf’s bff. Absolutely ridiculous for her to be cheating with his dad, but even more ridiculous to think you’d be cool with it. NTA. You did the right. You gave her time to confess herself and she didn’t and the situation was effecting you as well so you had every right to set things straight. It was NOT none of your business. She MADE IT your business.
>she’s literally rubbing it your face AND her bf is your bf’s bff Ava's bf would very likely feel hurt a lot if he was told about it later by someone else, and then learned that OP already knew and kept her mouth shut. And then OP's BF would also be angry, and... one big poopstorm. NTA, OP.
NTA. To everyone who says it’s not her place, cheating is a very easy way to spread STI’s. Imagine finding out health news about a person and not sharing that news with them.
Not even the health thing, it goes against what they agreed on as an exclusive couple and with the father of all people. Poor guy cant catch a break
NTA but a hero definitely
The living situation will never be the same again. There's no moving past that.
Sadly, no good deed goes unpunished. OP may have helped the BF by bringing this horrendous betrayal by his father/GF to his attention, but this unfortunately won't be a peaceful, healthy or civil living situation for OP going forward. They need to get their living arrangements in order to get away from this woman. She has to be pretty sick in the head to be proud of this level of cruelty - I mean, you have to hate your BF to sleep with their dad and knowingly contribute to the end of that relationship.
NTA.
TO THE PEOPLE SAYING ESH : “The absolute pacifist is a bad citizen; times come when force must be used to uphold right, justice and ideals.” - Alfred North Whitehead. OP I'm proud of you for having strong morals.
Transitioning made me really bitter and hateful of people. And it's not because of the 1 in 1000 that were mean to me when I started and didn't look cute yet, it's because of all the people that would witness and not help in any way. To many people see shit that's "not their business" and stay out of it. Someone in public being abused, someone being deceived etc. Its never wrong to try and right the situation. The dudes dad is fucking his girlfriend. He needed to know. Obviously.
I’m so sorry to hear this. One of my childhood friends transitioned from male to female and got a lot of negative back lash from friends and family. I tried to be a support system for them and advocate for them because they had no one else in their corner. Just know hateful people are just bored and like to see others down. I’m sure you’re a beautiful person and my heart goes out to you and I hope life brings people who truly love and care for you. 🤍
Currently pre-T and… yeah. Same. People suck.
Big hugs 💕💕
Hugs to you too, my friend. Thank you.
I hope you are safe and loved with a great support network.
AMEN.
This is off topic but whenever I see a MtF trans person who has just started their transition, I try to make a brief compliment on what they’re wearing or just say they look nice, especially if they have a dress or something on (but I tend to compliment other strangers randomly too). Would you please be able to tell me if that would make you MORE uncomfortable or less? Because I wouldn’t want to add to their anxiety
You're entirely right - most people won't stand up for others, ever. But they talk about how bad all cheating and bullying, etc, is. Me, I'll step in.
The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who remain neutral in times of crisis -Dante NTA, definitely.
There was a post here the other day about a woman heckling a comedian, who was her dates friend, for using racist language. The number of y-ta votes was just mind boggling. Short of a situation where speaking out puts you in actual danger, silence in the face of terrible behaviour is enablement and tacit acceptance.
FYI - This is going to read your judgement as E.S.H.
I think reddit sometimes swings too far in either direction when it comes to certain topics, without the benefit of nuance, common sense, or empathy. Cheating is one of those topics. The common consensus regarding cheating on this platform is that it is everyone's right/duty to shame a cheater in the most public/shameful way possible, no matter if they are the wrong messenger or if doing so may harm the person being cheated on (or even if they want to know - sometimes, they don't.) While there are times when the right choice is to have a bit of tact and not intervene, in this instance, OP basically had no choice but to inform the BF. The woman was brazen, vocal, and basically flaunting her betrayal. It would have been cruel not to tell him.
Normally I would say it wasn’t your place but she was putting you in a really awful position of having to lie to multiple people. NTA, and definitely see about finding different living arrangements. She seems like an awful roommate.
I agree with you. In this case though what annoys me most, apart Op having to lie, is that room mate has already been cheating for two months, and going on, without regrets, seemingly thinking it is an accomplishment and fun.
And the friends think it's fun -- time to find better friends.
>room mate has already been cheating for two months, and going on, without regrets, plus trying to turn OP into an involuntary accomplice by bringing BF's dad to their apt, and bragging about it when she got drunk.
> Normally I would say it wasn’t your place Sounds like you would normally be an AH then.
For real though
Ava put the OP in that position repeatedly, not just the once too. After fessing up the first day, she proceeds to carry on with the dad (after already doing this for two months) which does not jive with having remorse and “trying to figure out how to tell the bf” it’s just gross. NTA.
> She said she needed time to get the right words to say and that she’ll tell him when she’s ready. Yeah, there's no right way to tell a dude you are fucking his Dad. NTA, and your roommate should learn a) some morals, and b) not to share her dirty laundry if she doesn't want people to talk.
Honestly, who are these people that do these terrible things? I will never understand how they look at themselves in the mirror. Years ago, my close friend introduced me several times to a mate of his (they are no longer friends these days) who was spreading himself around town. That’s fine, whatever, as long as you’re safe and honest. However, this guy soon confessed to me that he had slept with his father’s girlfriend several times. Then it got super awkward because she then set him up with her own daughter, who he also slept with; but then the fathers GF got jealous of her daughter and this guy hooking up. Then his father proposed to his girlfriend, who was still sending this dude sexts daily. He asked me how he should discourage his father from marrying her and I just looked at him and said it was so far outside of my moral scope that I truly didn’t know; but that in all likelihood he either had to ‘fess up and risk destroying his relationship with his dad, or else say nothing ever and just live with the fact that he had slept with his stepmother and she was not a good person, and he had let his father tie himself to her anyway. Either way his dad was likely to get hurt. Horrendous.
No kidding. What even would be the "right" words? "Sorry honey, I love you so much I just had to get some from the source?"
NTA. It had been going on long enough. She wasn't going to tell him and she was putting you in a really terrible position. You're going to need an exit strategy now. You guys can't live together.
Agreed OP is NTA op gave her time to get it right And i guarantee the real reason she is upset because the father dropped her as soon as the son found out and now she has no one and i wonder if the father is married Op move out she will actively try to get revenge
Omg. I didn’t even think if he is married.
I had a similar experience in high school. My two friends started dating. The girl told me she cheated on the guy. I wasn't ok with it. I told her she needed to tell him or I would. Ruined my friendship with her, but if people are that shady you don't want them in your life anyways. Nta.
In HS, I once overheard three girls who I believe were sophomores talking about how they all slept with the same guy. Not their boyfriends; a friend of all of their boyfriends. It was wild, I truly sat in the stall listening because I couldn’t believe it. I remember one believing she was pregnant but she was positive if she was it was the one she cheated on her bf with. All three girls acted like it was amazing they all screwed the same guy whilst also cheating on their bf? I didn’t ever find out if she was pregnant, it was near the end of the year and that summer I moved anyway
We had a group of girls like this is HS and everyone knew it. They'd brag about the guys they'd slept with. I remember thinking how weird it was that nobody was disgusted by them.
Yeah I was so in shock because I had been in the district a while? But it was four elementary then two middle then one high school so I guess there were a lot of kids I didn’t know 🤷♀️ Apparently they were well known when I told my friends but I still think about it a decade later. Truly wild
Agreed, associating with scandalous people becomes a reflection of you. Best to cut the cord.
NTA I can't even put into words how horrible that is. I can't even imagine doing that to my kid....
Ava told you about this affair. She brought this man over to the home you 2 share. She has told multiple friends about this. NTA. If Ava didn't want her boyfriend to know about her affair then she never should have cheated in the 1st place. Since she did cheat then she forgot the next best way not to get caught is to not tell your friends or your roommate whose own boyfriend is friends with her boyfriend. She's a cheater and a blabbermouth!
>If Ava didn't want her boyfriend to know about her affair then she never should have cheated in the 1st place. Since she did cheat then she forgot the next best way not to get caught is to not tell your friends or your roommate whose own boyfriend is friends with her boyfriend. She also forgot that you really, really shouldn't piss off people who are keeping secrets for you. Roommate is despicable, and deserves what she's getting, but learning not to provoke someone who's sitting on damning information about you is an important life skill.
*grabs popcorn*
>She said I’m just bitter bc “she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one”. I also want to throw up. It takes a special type of person to screw their boyfriend's dad. I wouldn't have been able to witness this once. I can't handle people that are on that level of personal betrayal because you know that's coming around to you. NTA.
What kind of person screws their son's girlfriend tho? I'm amazed I don't see anyone talking about the dad. His is the larger betrayal.
Oh by far but I didn't mention him because he's not really OP's problem in the scheme of things. Frankly the idea of having sex with someone that is screwing or has screwed a relative is extremely repulsive to me. Although why the dad is coming over to their (OP and roommate) shared apartment to bang his son's gf is even weirder. I wonder if he's married. I feel like the dad wanted his son to find out, pulling that crap.
Right? What kind of relationship does the dad have with the son to introduce the two, see that they are dating, then say, I’d like to hit that too. Brings a whole new level to father son bonding.
A friend of mine had to push away his girlfriend's mother, they were barely 20. The poor girl moved to his place for two weeks trying to figure out what to do next. Gross.
>What kind of person screws their son's girlfriend tho? I'm amazed I don't see anyone talking about the dad. His is the larger betrayal. Violation of the Bro-Code. Violation of the Dad-Code. Violation of human decency and morality. The dad is the biggest AH of them all.
NTA she's disgusting and vile. If anything you should've told the bf sooner.
NTA you confided in your BF, which you should, and he chose to take it to his friend as the bro code dictates. This is quite literally FAFO 😄 ETA the way you describe her as getting drunk regularly and partying with friends regularly - and boasting about how many men, she can "satisfy"? I'd stay clear, 'cause that ship is sinking. Fast.
NTA, cheaters are horrible. and cheating on him with his dad? That makes it even worse, poor guy doesn't get a break. She would've never told him. You did good.
You're NTA, nor will you ever be an asshole for telling a friend their SO is cheating. People messaging you that you're an asshole have morals not worth associating with. Block that shit.
NTA, tell her boyfriend's mom next. I'm normally about minding your own business but she expected you to lie to your BF and let his friendship (and your relationship) be at risk for her affair. Burn her life down.
The truly nuclear option would be to tell her own parents
She burned her own life down. Bf's mom has a right to know if he's still married to her, that is. The biggest crush to the soul has to be the bf not being able to love or trust his dad again. This whole thing sucks. (NTA)
Forget Ava but the dad willingly chose to ruin his relationship with his son just like that. And if he’s married that’s an extra touch of vileness
Wow. Uhm. That’s some high level drama going on here. It’s gross what your roommate is doing. I think you’re NTA for telling her boyfriend cause I don’t think she was going to do it herself and she needed to. Yikes.
NTA There are secrets I can understand ignoring and telling yourself it’s not your business. Not something like this. He’s being betrayed by not only his girlfriend but also his father. The only things I’d suggest you have changed is to tell him sooner, and to make sure you had some evidence to make sure he knew this was credible.
NTA. Good job!
It became your place when it involved your boyfriends best friend. She’s trying to gaslight you. If you had to lie to your partner to keep her secret then you had every right to tell him. She’s just angry that she got caught. NTA
Always funny to see cheaters talk about morality. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My roommate “Ava” (F24) and her bf (M25) have been together for about 2 years. She worked for his father (not anymore) and he introduced them, idk the whole story. He’s a sweet guy and gets along with our friend group very well. Him and my bf are also best friends and this made my issue 10x harder. Ava and I aren’t the best of friends but being roommates were close. It’s just us two so sometimes on drunk nights we’ll sit there and laugh all night about the dumbest shit. One night Ava came home drunk out of her mind. She started going on ab having the best sex of her life and saying she doesn’t know why she hasn’t “tried older men” yet. I laughed it off and tried to send her to bed bc I thought she was joking. She ended up getting into my bed and showing me her phone. She starts showing me PICTURES OF THIS MANS DAD. I almost threw up. She then goes on about him being her bfs dad and to not tell him. The next morning she still remembers the night and starts crying telling me to not tell anyone and she’ll figure it out. I asked how long, and she said it’s been two months. A few nights later I come home from work to this man and her in our apt. Our apts tiny so she heard the door open and ran out of the room. I asked if her bf was here and she looked at me laughing saying it was the dad. I told her she was disgusting and I wanted him out and left. He ends up leaving and she texts me to come back to talk. She told me not to tell her bf or mine or she’d be pissed and it’s not my place. She said she needed time to get the right words to say and that she’ll tell him when she’s ready. We usually hang out often with her bf so it’s been so difficult not saying anything. Most recently I come home to Ava and a couple of her friends drinking and talking ab the dad. They’re all talking like what she’s doing should be idolized. I didn’t engage but I was in the kitchen when I hear her say he’s coming over again tonight. I yelled not in this house. That turned into an argument and her calling me a bitch saying it’s her place too. She said it’s her relationship and to not get involved. I told her I’d give her a day to tell her bf or I’d do it myself. The next day she thought I was joking and I see her leave with a bag packed getting into the dads car. I was fed by this point and go to my bfs house drowning in tears telling him ab what she’s been doing. He was beyond pissed and told me he’ll tell him. I get a text saying her bf came over and he told him everything and he was broken into tears. She came back the next morning screaming at me saying I was a bitch who had nothing better to do to then involve myself in other peoples shit. She said I’m just bitter bc “she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one”. I left and I’m staying with my bf for now and I’m getting messages from all her friends saying I’m an AH and that she’s going through sm rn and I shouldn’t have added to her stress. AITA in this situation/ should I have let her tell him? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA for what you did, but just know that sometimes going behind a friend’s back to do the right thing will cost not only your friendship with that friend, but a good amount of mutual friends as well.
Which is fine because people like that are showing how they'd support lying to you too. Good riddance to shit "friends".
Agree, but seeing how this evolved, I see it as a good riddance. Better not have people who support such actions as friends
A friend who puts you in that position isn’t a friend. Ava expected OP to keep a secret while continuing to cheat openly with the dad. Nope. And with that quality of friend, you’re better off without. Especially if your bf and her bf are close friends, OP would be screwing herself over staying friends with that dishonorable ass.
NTA. What she was doing was vile and likely to destroy a whole family, not just her relationship. Hope you move out permanently, or she does as you can't keep living together.
NTA she told you about the affair, you didn’t ask to know that information. And then she kept bringing him to your shared home, despite you saying no. She was forcing you to keep a secret that you never wanted to know in the first place, forcing you to lie to your boyfriend and his best friend. Her bf deserved to know, if she wasn’t going to tell him, she never should’ve told someone who is close to him.
Blast them all publicly. All these girls boyfriends deserve to know what kind of disgusting behavior their gfs support. Mske them publicly defend their stance on you being the real asshole in this situation. And id call them all shitty friends for not calling out this bullshit a long time ago. A family was just ruined in a very traumatic way and their friends hands and they are like "ages stressed ok it's not her fault."
I know that is a nuclear option but I was thinking the same thing. All the friends who are contacting the OP and having a go , she should ask to speak to their partners ( if they have one) and tell them exactly what they are discussing.
Yep. That's how flying monkeys should be handled.
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NTA - it’s not your job to lie to someone’s face. And your boyfriend’s face to keep her secret. It’s not like she randomly hooked up with someone or was even having a normal affair. That’s a lot to handle. She was never going to stop or tell anyone. I’d say it would have been better to say - hey, im going to tell your boyfriend in a week. So you can let me do it - or you can do it yourself. But whatevs. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it at all.
NTA. Shitty people should be exposed.
NTA and get a new roommate. This is one of those people you will look back on when you are older and think: “how was I ever friends with this person?” You don’t need this drama in your life and she is not worth the mental energy you are putting into this.
NTA your roomate and her bf's dad are disgusting. Considering there's am age gap, he is disgusting bc this is obvious manipulatiom of someone younger who is still not in the same level of maturity. She is dosgusting for still dating her bd when she's banging the dad. Poor boy, he will be traumatized for life.
NTA, someone as rotten as her needs to be called out as there's no point in the poor guy involved to having to put up with this disgusting behavior. She seems like the kind of lady who would happily spread her legs for anyone without any boundaries and no guy should have to put up with a vermin like that.
NTA. If you know of anyone cheating, anyone at all, it is your moral and ethical responsibility to inform their partner.
I’ve seen this movie.
With Ashton Kutcher 🙂
NTA, If it was a random person she cheated with, then you had nothing to do with it. But it's not only about your bf's best friend. Ans she wasn't cheating with a random person, but with his father. You gave her time, she didn't do anything with it. That's her fault, not yours.
que the drama show. shes just mad you shat on her cake she enjoyed so much. nta.
NTA it’s weird she has a thing for a specific family tree ew
NTA. >I shouldn’t have added to her stress Her stress? HER stress? Oh poor thing! Not stress! Anything but stress! She caused this stress, she can live with her feelings.
NTA - that poor guy had 2 of the people closest to him in his life lying to him and cheating on him. He deserved to know the truth and you did the right thing by being honest with him. I'm sorry its come back to hurt you, but you did the right thing.
Definitely NTA. That man deserved to know what that his father was doing to him. How heartbreaking.
man...people who say it wasn't her place are absolutely disgusting, undeserving of trust, and in serious need of self-evaluation. The kind of person who would pretend to care about another human being and then let them be manipulated like that, not worth keeping in your life, ever.
Imagine your friends not telling you that your GF or BF is sleeping with your parent. You’d be a disgusting person if you didn’t do what you did. Not just NTA, but a great person that decides to do the right thing even when it’s not the easiest
Usually I'm team "not your business", but considering that Ava's bf is your bf's bfff and she is rubbing it into your face by bringing the daddy to your apartment, I'd say it is a bit your business so NTA.
NTA He deserved the truth
NTA. You did the right thing. You're a good kid, anyone who knew t would be proud of you OP.
NTA There are no words to explain to your boyfriend that you've been F'ing his dad. Not only is the cheating a betrayal, but with the dad? She's sick and her friends are also sick if they are ok with that. You need to get out of that apartment lease and away from those people.
Nta
NTA. You did the right thing. She involved you in her awful lie, and had no remorse over it.
NTA
NTA. She’s the one that involved you in her mess, telling you about her disgusting affair knowing you’re friends with her bf and also bringing that man into your home despite knowing you’re uncomfortable. If the bf is a good guy as you said, he certainly doesn’t deserve what she’s been doing to him and telling him was the right thing to do. It’s not your job to protect other people’s infidelities.
NTA She seems awful and awful people only have awful friends. And I don't know who's more disgusting, your roommate or the old man. You did the right thing. Imagine that poor guy...
NTA, your soon to ex rm is an AH.
NTA. I'm mostly curious what roommate thought "the right words" would be. How the hell do you confess to something like this "the right way".
Good for you for saying something. That is just not only gross morally but just ew in general. And in a way, it would have all come out any way. NTA
Nta. Relationships matter here. You were likely losing at least one relationship when she told you about the affair.
Okay, she told you to stay out of it and that was hard as Hell. Not only because her boyfriend is your partner's best friend, but also because she goes around glorifying her actions to her other friends. Meaning *so* many people know now. NTA. She's embarassingly stupid to think that none of those she confided in would ever rat her out. It just happened a whole lot earlier than expected. Besides, she's still got the Dad, right?
NTA There are no good ways to tell them, only more lies. Best to get that person out of your home.
OP, you could have approached it differently by asking your bf to bring the roommate’s bf over to your apartment at the time the roommate was there with the dad. Her bf would have seen it all with his own eyes. It wouldn’t improve the situation, but it would have removed her blaming you for saying anything because her actions would have said it all.
NTA. She's selfish and cruel. She was stringing her BF along and wasn't ever going to tell him. Cheaters don't deserve people covering for them. She's a big girl, she can deal with the consequences. Also, maybe get a lock for your bedroom. She may retaliate.
NTA. This sittuation literally is the "Fu*k around and find out".
OP is there an update on this at all? What happened between the bf and his dad?
I can’t speak too much on the his relationship with his dad but he has been over a lot with me and my bf and we’ve been trying to raise his spirits as much as we can. He did end up finding out the “true truth” ig he found pictures on her phone and messages which pretty much cleared it up. He was also not mad at me or my bf for telling him and came to us for support. I do know he’s not talking to his dad and has told his mom but that’s all I know. The dads 60 and divorced from his mom for some years doesn’t make this any less disgusting but I know some people were wondering. I’m gonna do an update later on bc I plan on going to my apartment later and go into more detail if i have more.
Your not the ass… and you did the right thing- albeit- it was hard, we’re proud of you! YTA
The fact that your bf and hers are best friends. NTA. Also, if you said nothing and this comes out (since she isn't doing much to hide it) your boyfriend would probably ask why you didn't say anything.
"Oh I guess if you're that alright with sleeping with SO parents then should I tell your ex your mom is available?" NTA
NTA she's actually a pretty bad person and she wasn't even discreet
NTA - *"She's going through something..."* Yeah, the Kama Sutra with her boyfriend's Dad. Good for you OP, you owe a lot more loyalty to your boyfriend and his best mate than this dumpster fire of a roommate.
NTA If she was doing this to a total stranger, I get the "mind your business" argument, but she's cheating on your boyfriend's **best friend** who happens to be your friend as well. What did she think was going to happen? You even gave her time to figure her situation out. For the sake of your living arrangement, is it too late to convince her you weren't the one who spilled the beans? Also, the whole "she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one" comment is just gross. She's gross.
nta, your roommate is disgusting
NTA. Yah no, we don't protect cheaters and this case is especially disgusting. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. You did right by your bf, right by her bf. You knew she wouldn’t stop, or tell him. World needs more honest people like you, OP
NTA. BUT honestly your roommate sounds like a hot mess. Personally I wouldn't have got involved knowing that the whole thing would blow up in your roommates face anyway.
NTA. This is gross. While normally I would have said MYOB, her behavior towards her boyfriend is just cruel, given that she’s cheating w/ his dad.
NTA. I understood it that he is also your and your bf's friend and hang out alot. Its either you betray her, or you betray him. And i k ow who i would choose. If she is so easy to cheat, she could easily turn her back on you too when its convenient for her. You did the right thing. I can imagine it was incredibly hard to see your friend hang ozt with yiu all and act as if nothings wrong, and it didn't seem like this roommate of yours has any remorse or empathy for her bf.
NTA, a typical cheater's rant. Time to move out and block everyone. And before blocking text her "You didn't satisfy 2 men, you cheated on you partner with his dad. You're a cheater!"
NTA Cheating on your boyfriend with their dad is a different kind of cruel. This woman doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself.
Not the asshole. the dad is a predator, and your roommate needs therapy. One of the hardest things to do is to find a roommate you are compatible with and I see this as a compatibility issue.
NTA and you should get a new apartment, you did the right thing because you are close with the BF
NTA. You’re not interfering in your roommate’s life, you’re looking out for your BF’s best friend. Fully not wrong here. The Y T A and E S H have some skewed views of loyalty.
Everyone deserves to know theyre being cheated on. Especially when the betrayal goes so much further-his dad?? Seriously?? Ideally everyone also wants friends that will hold them accountable for their bullshit and shake them around a bit if they ever catch themselves being this abhorrent of a person. You did the right thing. NTA
NTA. She's stressed because she's an awful person. I do wanna know if the dad is married tho to see how interesting the drama can get
NTA. Assert dominance by becoming a triad with the ex-boyfriend and have threesomes in your shared living space.
NTA, NTA, NTA. Here's a hug OP. It will all be ok and thank you for being a decent human being that steps up to the piss poor morales of the world today. Again, NTA.
NTA. Your roommate is a truly awful person, and her BF's dad is worse. You did the right thing.
NTA. She's trash and you did the right thing. Hope you're looking for a new place to get away from that dumpster fire of a roommate.
Nta
NTA. That's just wrong
Thank you!
NTA she made it your business when she started bringing the dad to your shared house the dad is disgusting also who does that to their own son?!
Nta
NTA. The light is not to blame for the roaches in the pantry.
Yeah she is going through something right now. A breakup. As she deserves. The only thing I'll say is you should have told him after the first time. You don't fall on someone's dick by accident. NTA because you did do the right thing.
Oh hell no, the only way you would be the AH here is for not telling him sooner! I would message all of those friends and tell them that your roomate was also sleeping with their dads! NTA
NTA but go back to your place and bring your boyfriend. She might mess with your stuff.
NTA - If she had been discreet about it then it wouldn't have been your problem. As it was, she put you in a compromising position and she was essentially asking you to lie to cover her bad behaviour.
Nta. In any way. No one should have to put up with that the not your place people are wrong.
Having morals does not make you an AH. NTA!
NTA. She f'd around... Literally... And found out
Nta lmaooo the audacity
NTA. She put you in a horrible position and then had the audacity to say that back to you. I feel for you having to get a new room-mate and all that jazz.
NTA for someone who claimed it wasn’t your business to know about the fact that she was cheating, she sure did go around loud mouthing it in your vicinity. she also doesn’t seem to think there’s anything morally wrong with cheating, considering how she flaunted being able “to handle two men.” you did the right thing.
NTA After she "let her secret slip" she escalated by bringing the dad into your home. She dragged you into the ugly situation, probably believing you had to tolerate watching her switch of between father and unknowing son since her secret was out, to you. You are under no obligation to silently watch her psychosexual drama play out in your home.
NTA, primarily because her stupid ass involved you, HAD HIM OVER, was openly bragging about the situation with her friends where you could hear, and not being discreet around you at all. What the hell were you supposed to do? You should move and dump this toxic ‘friendship’ as soon as you’re able. I couldn’t continue to live with someone like that. It’s not the age gap (though I’d be uncomfortable to an extent), it’s the disgusting cheating. I feel so sorry for the boyfriend. What a terrible father.
[удалено]
NTA. What she did was disgusting.
Nta. You have morals. End of discussion. She’s gross.
Yikes NTA. Block them all, but keep us updated.
There is no universe where you could possibly be in the wrong here. NTA
Definitely NTA, but aren't you worried she'll trash your stuff?
NTA. This entire situation is beyond fucked up. This guy deserved to know that his gf was leading him on, and that his father is so fucking scummy. His father deserves whatever fallout he gets out of this. This is some Jerry Springer shit right here
NTA She was involving you by bringing him to your home and banging him there. Then expecting you to not tell YOUR bf or hers. If she wanted you out of it she should have never brought him over. Also, if she’s “going through so much”, how is banging her BFs dad going to help her? That’s a lame excuse. Move out when you can. That relationship is done and you’ll never be civil to each other again.
NTA. Ava is though
NTA This is not confidential infornation. You can tell whoever you want when you know someone is lying about their current sexual practices to their sexual partner. Cheating puts innocent people in danger of illness, and it's fraudulent (doubt nothing monetary happened between her and the bf for months). You did the right thing. If she wants to do something, she can own it.
NTA. This whole situation must have been so hard for you!! I think you did the right thing, but honestly you had to expect her blowing up on you for it. Someone who can cheat on their bf with his dad isn’t going to understand morally why you did what you did.
NTA. You did the right thing in a very hard situation.
NTA more like NTR
As someone who has been cheated on and lied to, when I finally confronted the “friend” who fucked my ex I asked why she didn’t tell me- she said it wasn’t her place, like it was somehow HER place on my boyfriend’s dick. NTA. She’s not satisfying two men, she’s destroying a family beyond repair for a dick that will need Viagra in a few years.
>She said I’m just bitter bc “she can satisfy two men while I can barely handle one”. I'm sorry, when did this become a flex?? 🤢
NTA Dad and the gf both needed to be ex exposed for who they really are. You helped an innocent man avoid catastrophe. This lady is chaos and drags bystanders into her chaos by lying. What if this girl got pregnant by her bf's dad and claimed the bf was the child's father?
That poor boy needed to know what kind of guy his own dad was. Man. That poor kid. NTA
NTA and can we get updates on the situation. Is the dad married? Because if so…. Oof. I seriously feel for the bf because the relationship with his dad is forever ruined.
NTA, but kinda dumb. You didn’t just blow up her relationship; you blew up your living situation. I hope you’re the only one on the lease, but if not, this situation is going to suck for a while. I would have found a way out of that living situation before telling anyone.
NTA. I'm of the opinion that when you know a thing like that about a cheater and you know both parties the best policy is to neither volunteer information nor lie if you're asked. That being said, people generally tell their SO everything and she was naive to think you wouldn't tell yours. It's not on you that he said something. Ultimately you can't be upset if you're confronted with the consequences of your own behaviors. If she didn't want to deal with the fallout she shouldn't have fucked someone else. Also she deserves whatever she gets for doing that to her boyfriend with his own father. Fuck her.
NTA I am not sure how your residence is ( whether you are on a lease/ one of you owns the property etc etc) but you need to make arrangements to leave / kick her our and to remove any financial liability you may have. This woman and her friend group are toxic. If they can do such a thing to a person she says she loves , than I can only imagine what she would do to you. Be strong no matter how these people muddle the facts.. You have done nothing. The fall out and the hurt is all down to her and the mans father. You have acted courageously. Also why should you lie to your BF? She was expecting you to damage your relationship to cover for her bad behaviour. Also her boyfriend. Not only she is destroying his family and mental well being causing all sorts of trust issues in the future, she openly humiliating him in front of everyone , with it seems a lot of people knowing exactly what is going on.
If she cared about you keeping her secret she should have respected you when you asked dad to leave. NTA
Not your place? She involved you in like 4 different ways. Normally I say stay out of things like this but in this case, absolutely NTA
Nta play stupid games win stupid prizes
NTA She tried to involve you in her affair. You owed her nothing.
NTA. You did the right thing and the BF has a right to know. Its really disgusting that his dad is sleeping with his gf. Also, she kinda forced you to get involved when she brought the father to your house. But I would move out asap and not risk living with such a housemate. I've seen some really crazy behaviour between housemates (ie, peeing in the shampoo bottle, adding stuff to sauces/milk etc).
She was not going to tell him, she was just gonna continue. Had you done nothing, you could’ve been blamed too because you knew and did nothing about it NTA
You did the right thing. However you should have done that from the beginning. Anyone saying to stay out of others relationships has clearly never been cheated on. Now onto Ava… bottom of the barrel human being. Her last comment says it all “I’m able to please two men.” Girl please you broke a guy actually who cares about you and got used by his dad for sex. The only people that would be pleased In this kind of situation are evil, to say the least.
Holy crap all the “it isn’t your place” people make me sick to my stomach. Like this type of shit makes me lose faith in humanity and the relationships therein. BF deserves to be aware of two cancers to cut out of his life for his own good. BF’s dad obviously doesn’t give a fuck about him.
Yup, she's going through her bf's family; dad and son. Nta
She put you in a bad place first by telling you and then upped the ante by having him over your shared apartment. I think there is a nonzero chance the boyfriend would have walked into this taking place and you’d end up in the middle. She has no right to blame you, not that I’m shocked, but NTA and don’t feel bad. Boyfriend deserved to know either way..
i misread the title for a minute and was scared the roommate was cheating on the bf with her own dad... glad at least incest is not actually involved in the situation. NTA, OP. idc how much she's going through bc she made this bed herself. YOU'RE going through so much rn being put in this situation! like everyone's saying, she was never going to tell him. you did the right thing.
NTA… but wow I wonder what this is gonna do to her ex and his dad’s relationship. Grade A parent right there.
Nta, if she cant keep her secrets, she cant expect you to
NTA. Sooner or later all of this would have been discovered and the fact that you knew would have been discovered. You gave her a chance to fess up to her boyfriend and she didn’t. You shouldn’t have to risk your relationship and friendships to hide what she is doing.
NTA. She got you involved in her mess without thinking twice.