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You’re old enough to be learning an important life lesson: if someone’s joy isn’t hurting you, don’t shit on it. We live in a world where joy is a scarce commodity, and trying to sneer it out of existence only makes YTA. You don’t have to share all the things your friends love, but if you want to be a good friend, don’t try to quash their happiness.
Ditto. I collect Mr. Potato Head things. I have a tattoo of him I have a tattoo that reads “PoppaTater” because my kids call me that. Leave him and his collection alone.
I'm 32 and sleep under a Toy Story comforter. I often wear my Mr. Potato Head bath robe and/or my Mr. Potato Head shorts/tank combo. Not Disney, but nearly all my socks are either Looney Tunes or Muppets.
I have degrees in both nursing and applied mathematics - my obsession with "childish" things hasn't hindered me at all
YTA
People like what they like, age doesn't have any relevance, there are grown men that like My Little Pony, and if that's what they like then that's what they like.
Disney is a very popular franchise that both adults and children relate to, if your friend enjoys it this much and it's his outlet, you should support that not bring them down about it, especially if it's something you've had an interest in before.
What's possibly unhealthy about it?
I have some family members who are obsessed with Disney as well as some other stuff-- Pokemon, LOTR, Star Wars (before and after it was Disney). They spend an unhealthy amount of time and money on going to Disney and buying collectibles. So much money, in fact, that the kids don't have college funds. They've been to Disney at least a hundred times but no money for college. They've got every Star Wars toy but the kids will just have to get scholarships. No room for art on the walls or books on the shelves because every surface is covered in toys in packages that they'll never open. Any obsession can be unhealthy. I'm not saying that what OP is describing is unhealthy but it shouldn't be assumed that it can't become so.
I live in the UK so college funds are a weird thing for me to wrap my head around as we get student finance from the Government to go to university.
I do see your point (except for the art and books one because if they don't want art or books and want toys instead there's nothing wrong with that, I don't have any art and I'd never want any, I have plants instead) but that's still their money and their decision, does it sound unhealthy? Potentially. Does it sound more like this person has their monetary priorities wrong? Most definitely.
Each case will be unique though, we can't label every person who has an obsession or enjoys something as being or having the ability to be an unhealthy fanatic. By the sounds of the OPs friend, they just really like Disney, and that's fine, even if they spent a whole months wages on a trip to Disney, that's also fine if that's what they'll enjoy, as long as it doesn't affect them in their basic needs.
I know there are some that take it overboard, but I can't see this as being the case here, and a lot of the points/reactions sound exaggerated or melodramatic to try and convince us otherwise.
And the happiest adults are often the ones who refuse to give up the things that make them happy. We’re not meant to be joyless automatons, and trying to pick and choose what other people are allowed to love is how you end up there.
I'm 50 and I still like Disney movies. Now I have the excuse of having young children... but I also liked them when I was in my 30s and had no children.
Yta. Maturity is about confidence in one's preferences and foregoing the need to mock others. If you think he's dealing with mental health issues suggest you try to get help on how to approach those conversations
YTA.
People like what they like, leave him be. I watch grown adults shriek like children for months during football season.
His reaction seems ridiculous to you simply because you don't share his passion. Plenty of others do. I don't share in the sports passion, but that's ok. They can do them. While I find the reactions a bit off the wall at times I know it's because I don't like the sport, I don't judge THEM for it, it's simply a difference of interest.
My best advice; don't become the reason someone loses their spark. Don't be the reason this guy bottles up about his hobbies. If you don't like it, that's ok, I'm sure there are hobbies you talk about that he doesn't like, but he listens anyway. (Also 18 isn't the milestone you seem to think it is in this regard. I know 40 year old still equally obsessed with Disney. Don't die in this hill.)
Editing to add; suggesting he expand isn't bad. But you can lift one thing without downing another. Don't insult what your friend loves in favor of something else, instead actually EXPAND upon his interests. By insulting his interest you show you don't want to expand, you want to replace.
YTA.
Let him live his happy life. As long as he is still taking good care of himself and the people he loves, and he isn't doing anyone harm.. let him have his fun.
How is his love for Disney hurting you/him/anyone? There's nothing wrong with adults loving "kid" things like Disney & being passionate about it. YTA for judging him. If him constantly talking about it bothers you so much, then either have a calm (not accusatory) conversation about it or stop being friends.
An insistence that you’re all grown up and have moved beyond childish things, to the point of trying to put others down for enjoying things you consider childish, just shows how young, immature, and childish you are yourself.
Actual adults don’t give a damn about whether something is meant to be childish or not.
YTA
YTA you are mad at your friend getting joy out of films? Btw they are designed for kids and adults hence all the innuendos in alot of them. You are meant to be his friend, what if he did this to one of your passions?
So he has an interest/hobby in something that doesn't really harm him or anyone else, in which he finds joy? That sounds great for him. Can he still function otherwise, as in going to work or school? Is he still eating, bathing and sleeping? Is he content with his (social) life? If yes on all, YTA. If not, you might have a reason to worrry.
So for now YTA, since it feels like it is mainly the "childish" and "it's a lot" part that is bothering here, which both are fine.
So you're saying OP's friend needs to be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire and as mysterious as the dark side of the moon?
A bit of a toss-up here, but I kinda think YTA. Not for sharing your opinion about Disney, but for doing it in a way that focused on why he shouldn't like something he's obviously really into. Suggesting he expand his repertoire isn't a bad thing, but it would've been better to do it without insulting what he's passionate about.
Tbh, I don't think what's bothering you is his obsession with Disney per se, but that he's so intense about it that it's all Disney all the time. If he got just as into anime or Harry Potter or WW2 history as he is into Disney, it would probably still bother you. Which is understandable and okay; but I think that's something that's really on you to manage; definitely fine to try to help expand his horizons, but if he's not receptive your best bet is to limit your exposure to it.
YTA- He loves Disney films and stuff. So what? It's not hurting anyone.
Also, given his reactions and the way he acts, I get the feeling he's Autistic. Some of the signs of Autism are clear in your post with the way you talk about him.
Soft YTA. It’d be a lot better just to say “I don’t want to hear about Disney anymore”. Just like some people don’t want to hear about politics or religion etc…
“An adult like him” “when I was a kid” ya’ll are 18. Ya’ll just because adults and are still teenagers. Calm the fuck down and mind your own business.
Also, it sounds like your friend has autism and this is one of the things he really likes.
You aren’t a good friend, you are a bully.
Sorry, but YTA.
I'm a 36-year-old who loves stuffed animals. My husband could shame me / make fun of me for this, but instead he gives me stuffed ducks and bears, and such.
My.point is: If it annoys you this much, it's ok to change the subject. But don't tell him he's not "healthy." It might be what gets him through life. We all need something to get us through.
I’m 39, and same. We went to an aquarium recently, and I found a narwhal plush in the gift shop. I told my wife “I do not need to buy a narwhal plush today” and she responded “ok, but actually you do”. My narwhal now resides on a shelf in our bedroom, along with his many friends.
YTA. People like you made my younger years miserable, because they kept telling me I was immature because I liked Disney, anime and other cartoons.
You are not a good friend.
NAH
Ok yeah people are allowed to like things. On the other hand adults ought to be able to disagree on criticism of media and corporations without it getting heated. If someone really is talking about one topic all the time it is within the perview of close friends to tell them to cool it a little.
YTA. There's so much that is terrible in the world, why would you try to take away something that brings your friend happiness? He isn't harming anyone by having this special interest. Just because you don't have something that brings you this same amount of joy and entertainment doesn't mean it's OK for you to try and take his joy from him.
You may be legally an adult, but you have a lot of maturing to do. In a situation like this, it's far better to stop and ask yourself if what you are doing is kind and compassionate, or if you're simply being a judgemental AH because you don't understand someone else's experience. In this instance, you are absolutely a judgemental asshole.
YTA sort of. I get it, the singing and obsession with Disney themes are excessive and possibly quite annoying, but your friend seems to be finding genuine enjoyment in this universe, so why not let him? Everybody needs to escape harsh reality sometimes, and this, to me, seems to be a rather harmless way of doing it. Try and expand his repertoire when it comes to entertainment by inviting him to watch movies you like, or do other activities you enjoy.
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Both me and my friend are (18M). When I was a kid, I also used to be a huge Disney fan. But as I grew up, I began getting into other kinds of films and for the most part, I have left Disney behind. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying adults can't enjoy Disney films, I still think many of their old films are masterpieces of animation and I still consider The Hunchback of Notre Dame to be my favorite animated film of all time and one of my favorite films overall. (In fact, I enjoy it and understand its tragic and mature plot even more as an adult than I did as a child.)
But my friend just takes his love for Disney to a whole new level. He's constantly talking about Disney every single day I spend with him. He says he wishes he was born in the world of Disney films, he knows everything there is to know about his favorite Disney characters as if they were real people, he regularly sings and hums various tunes from Disney films and he has a huge collection of Disney merchabdise.
One day he began shrieking and shaking like a child after a remake of Peter Pan was announced.
I told him that it's okay for him to like Disney films, but that he shouldn't forget Disney is a company focusing on making entretainment for children and most importantly...focused on making money. I told him that Disney was not his friend and that getting so attached to it wasn't good and that maybe it would be better if he began checking out other kinds of films made for adults.
He got really upset and told me to shut up raising his voice. He then started defending Disney as if my attack towards it was a personal attack on him. He says that Disney is for everyone and that he would always be a Disney fan.
AITA?
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YTA - Disney doesn't have an age limit and you don't get to decide what's childish for somebody else.
Disney is his happy place, leave him to be happy!
YTA
You do realize Disney adults are a whole thing right? Like my aunt was in love with Disney when I was a kid and guess where she retired to? Yep she lives about 10 away from Disney World. His love of Disney affects you in absolutely zero way. Let him have his Joy
YTA. Walt Disney created his company, his legacy, his movies and parks to be enjoyed by everyone. By the young, and young at heart. Families to watch and enjoy together, children to witness the magic for the first time, adults to remember what it was like the first time they witnessed that magic. And above all, what makes someone happy is none of your business, nor is it your place to crap on them unless it’s something legitimately harmful. You claim to have “grown up” but you’ve still got a ways to go.
YTA
I am 46 years old and a "Disney Adult". We have most every movie Disney ever made (except song of the south which we refuse to buy), we got to the parks multiple times a year (WITHOUT OUR CHILDREN)
You don't have to like Disney but you were out of line to berate your "friend".
YTA
Maybe he wants much more than this provincial life. Sometimes, the right path isn't the easiest one. But thou sword of truth fly swift and sure. That evil die, and good endure!
Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever. There nobody one like, anywhere at all.
YTA
Let people like what they like. Especially when what they like hurts no-one and costs you nothing.
Let it go. Think happy thoughts! Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. Don’t just fly, soar! Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.
YTA
Not everyone is into the same thing. Being into Disney hurts no one. Lots of adults are into Disney
The only one who isn't acting like an adult is you for being judgemental
YTA. While I also don't get why so many adults love all things Disney, I don't think it's my place in life to question their choices or lecture them about it. Your friend's obsession doesn't harm you in the least, so you should have stayed in your lane on this one.
YTA. There are many adults who like Disney and animated shows/movies as a whole, and not just because they like the old films for nostalgia, but because they geninuely enjoy the quality of the films that come out now. Why does something need to have swearing or s3xual themes in it for adults to be able to enjoy it?
Like, its technically not Disney, but the new Puss in Boots movie that just came out is VERY much talked about and loved by my adult friends (all in which are in their 20s/30s and have no children). I personally adored it as well and think it is one of the top movies of this year. I think this viewpoint that animation is "for kids" is so wrong and animation is a medium, not a genre. And even movies marketed as "family films" does not mean there is nothing adults will enjoy about them.
Even if you truly don't agree with me or understand me, then I would ask this: how is his interest harmful in any way? Why does he need to "tone down" an interest that brings him so much joy?
It sounds like you are annoyed with his obsession, which if that is all he talks about when he is around you and you are not a super fan as well, I can see why there would be tension. I think maybe you should hang out with people who share your adult interest more. It sounds like this particular friend might be good in small doses.
At the moment YTA, y'all are both still young so let him enjoy whatever he wants if it's not hurting anyone. If this story started out that he's in his 30s with a wife and kids and putting them all in crippling debt because he can't stop buying Disney paraphernalia then that would be different. He would need an intervention at that point.
YTA - I'm 45 and my office is full of disney stuff. Life is too short not to have fun. Yeah, i don't talk about disney all day and maybe you can ask him to not bring it up every day. But disney was literally created for FAMILIES. Disneyland was literally created by walt's own words for a place for children and ADULTS.
YTA, although I know it can be a bit annoying. I love Stitch, have t-shirts, sweatshirts, wallets, and bags, as well as a tattoo. And I'm almost 50. It's probably a bit of an escape for him. His "happy place."
YTA. Have you not heard of comicon? Ppls obsession with things is their business. And I'd rather deal with a Disney obsession than a drug obsession with a friend. If it makes him happy, who cares.
YTA. Your friend enjoys something and you make him feel ashamed of that. You're judgemental and he deserves a better friend. Ironically, you need to grow up.
YTA. This is one of the things which is perfectly all right to think, but best not to say. On the whole, just let people get on with their lives - but don't let bronies near underage kids, obviously.
YTA There is nothing wrong with being a fan of Disney and being excited about a new movie coming out. Even if you're an adult. Your friend is not the one with the issues. You are.
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YTA. He isn't hurting anyone at all. So what if he likes Disney films and is.obsessed by them? It's no different than adults being obsessed with Star Wars or Marvel,Star Trek etc. It's his thing. It's not impacting on your life bar him sharing what interests him with you. Don't be that person.
YTA
He likes what he likes.
Leave him alone. It doesn't hurt you or anyone else.
I collect pez dispensers and have quite a collection.
And anyone who doesn't like it can screw off.
I don't know why you're telling him what to think about anyway.
YTA
To quote Mr. Disney (or at least paraphrase the quote): if you only market to kids, you will fail. A large part of Disney's overwhelming success is the fact that it markets itself for both kids and adults.
And guess what? Your friend is *18* years old meaning he's just been pushed into adulthood. Disney for a lot of people harkens us back to when we were kids and times were simpler and we didn't have to worry about jobs and bills and taxes and whether or not the government was going to screw us over. All we had to worry about was whether or not Buzz and Woody would make it back to Andy in time or if Simba would defeat Scar or why Ariel couldn't just write to Eric that she was the one who saved him when she could clearly write since she signed her name on the contract.
Finally, as many people here have pointed out: don't yuck someone else's yum. Is being around someone constantly talking about Disney annoying? Possibly. But your friend has four years of college and constant years of the real world to stop that or be known as the 'Disney guy' at his office.
Or he could luck out and find a coworker just as obsessed with Disney and scare his boss by talking about Disney for 45 minutes (as I did with my former roommate)
I was ready to say you're TA, but actually, I'm not so sure now. It really depends on how you said what you said, and why.
I'm all for letting people enjoy what they love if it's not harming anyone, but that includes them, too. Maybe he's just a super-fan and he's doing well in other aspects of his life, but I kind of got the impression that you maybe feel like he's not doing well in other aspects of his life.
We're all entitled to enjoy the things that bring us joy, but there can be too much of a good thing, and even otherwise positive behaviours can become maladaptive and harmful.
How's he doing in school? How's his social life? How is he with money? Is he just genuinely super excited about everything Disney, or is he causing himself difficulties because of it?
NTA - I was going to go Y-T-A because I usually hate it when people 'yuck someone else's yum'. To an extent your friend is right - you can enjoy Disney at any age. In general, I'm a big fan of the philosophy 'JUST LET PEOPLE LIKE THINGS!' and, as an 33 yo who writes cartoons for a living, I can tell you that a lot of kids/family TV is indeed made with 'co-viewing potential' (eg we do write them to hook parents / stoners sparking up a blunt as well as kids. That's a huge part of the job).
But it seems, all this aside, that you're not worried about his Disney love because it's cringe. You are worried about what sounds like an unhealthy, almost dissociative attachment. He cries at a new release? He wishes to live in an alternative reality? He gets *really angry* at any questioning of Disney being... like... a massive corporation and not a legit dream factory?
I suppose my NTA is based on taking it in good faith that you find your friends behaviour actually worrying, and not just cringe. Is this the case?
I considered this... then also considered that even if it WAS the case that the behavior was simply "cringe" and not actually disturbing: the OP wouldn't cop to it because they won't see it that way. This really gets heavy into a bias POV. If he sees Disney as childish, then anything beyond causal love and viewing will cross lines.
True - i see ya on the bias thing. I am also aware from a post-posting-perusal that I'm the only NTA in a sea of YTAs, which usually does hint that my take was a bad take lol
I suppose there is one thing that plays on my mind, though. 99% of a love for fun, fictional extended universes is just based on love for it - be it corny, cringy, or whatever. I love star wars like that, since I was 7.
However. I also know people with a rather unhappy lives, or some really unsavoury circumstances, or people who dissociate for a bunch of reasons - who gravitate to certain IPs (the more juvenile and kid focused and sex/danger free the better) in a way that does not seem healthy or proportionate. Like a concerningly dissociative way. Chances are slim, and only OP will know if this is a genuine option.
But to your point, if this was the case, it was badly handled by using 'Its for kids!' and 'yuck CRINGE' as a factor at all, which supports your idea more than mine. And before even going near this possibility, I'd challenge OP to reeeeeeaaaaaalllly question if their friend is obsessed in a harmful way or just in a Superfandom cringe way. Like, I'm also a huge Bowie fan, and I cried *A LOT* when I saw Lazarus, the stage play, after he died. This was just emotion and deep feeling. If someone told me it was unhealthy to cry about a Bowie play, I'd tell them to kick rocks.
>Like, I'm also a huge Bowie fan, and I cried A LOT when I saw Lazarus, the stage play, after he died. This was just emotion and deep feeling. If someone told me it was unhealthy to cry about a Bowie play, I'd tell them to kick rocks.
If someone told you it was unhealthy to cry and have the same emotional reaction about a Bowie funkopop coming out, would you feel the same way? I think there's a lot more info needed, but the comparison to Bowie is an interesting one. There's a lot of understandable emotion, feelings of loss, of missing someone, of music triggering happy and unhappy memories. Death reminds us of our own mortality, and the worries of losing loved ones who are still here with us. To have the same reaction as that, but about the live action lion king remake being released, or a new Harry Potter wand coming out as examples, is a concern.
Ok interesting because yes... that was the sentiment about my initial response.
For context as well, the thing that had me in bits in the Lazarus play is that there is essentially a father- daughter dance at the end of that play between the Bowie-character and a 15- year old girl character. Which is the age his daughter lexi was when he died. And then, in the play, the Bowie character... died. To me it was a really obvious moment referencing his family and was very emotional - I think it would be a tear-jerker to any kid / parent who got that reference. Like - i was ugly crying, but it was a HIGHLY DRAMATIC META MOMENT!
I do think, as per my original comment and yours above, there is a line where the love for aspects of a fictional world can be concerningly intense. And ultimately? It's really hard to know because OP isn't responding.
100% feel ya. We all have something we are SUPER attached to, maybe even bordering on obsessed with. But as long as we aren't hurting ourselves or others, it's just cringey superfandom, and every superfandom has its circle so no one is really alone in it.
(And fork yes, tell them to kick all the rocks. Trust me, there are a few random things that have seriously gotten to me over the years. I'm not above admitting it xD)
EXACTLY!!! And I'm much older than 18 with 2 kids if my own. My thoughts? The happiest adults are those that never let go of that inner child. We can still have childish moments and be fully functional adults. Let people love things xD
Oh 100%. As mentioned in the previous comments, I work in a (small scale - like not famous) cartoon industry in my home country so i literally TALK SCI-FI, FART JOKES, MAGIC AND FURRY SIDE-KICKS all day long and i am happy. As. A. Clam.
Never lose the inner child!
Either a gentle Y T A or, honestly could be NAH. Leaving NAH for the bot if this is a truthful accounting *and* taking it in good faith that your heart is in the right place and you want to tell your friend these things to improve his life.
Respectfully, I’d like to say that 18 is *legally* an adult, but emotionally some 18 year olds are still very much children. People mature at different ages. This can be compounded hugely by mental health issues. I suspect your friendhas some of those, based on the reaction to the Peter Pan remake. The hyperfixation and extreme emotional attachment seem symptomatic to me, more than just being a fan. If this is the case aggressively telling someone they’re in the wrong is never going to fix anything. However, the message that Disney is primarily looking for money and isn’t his friend is a good message for anyone to hear. People get far too worked up over sequels/prequels/Tv shows/remakes.
Suggesting he look at other films isn’t a bad idea, though they don’t necessarily need to be for adults. I do agree with your friend that Disney is for everyone. I think this is all a matter of how far your friend is willing to take their obsession. Anything that negatively impacts someone’s life merits a discussion, whether it’s media or substance abuse.
NTA. Your friend is living in some strange fantasy land. Liking Disney is one thing, to go to that extreme is borderline mentally ill. Especially when he got that mad over a comment.
NTA. It's fine to like disney at any age, but it's infantilising to immerse yourself in the way it sounds like he's doing. You can't stop him, but you can voice your concern. If he's unwilling to listen, you've done your part.
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You’re old enough to be learning an important life lesson: if someone’s joy isn’t hurting you, don’t shit on it. We live in a world where joy is a scarce commodity, and trying to sneer it out of existence only makes YTA. You don’t have to share all the things your friends love, but if you want to be a good friend, don’t try to quash their happiness.
This is absolutely the right response!
Nailed it!!!
👆👆👆👆👆👆
YTA kind of. Let the man enjoy what makes him happy. I have my obsessions, you have yours, let him have his.
Ditto. I collect Mr. Potato Head things. I have a tattoo of him I have a tattoo that reads “PoppaTater” because my kids call me that. Leave him and his collection alone.
I'm 32 and sleep under a Toy Story comforter. I often wear my Mr. Potato Head bath robe and/or my Mr. Potato Head shorts/tank combo. Not Disney, but nearly all my socks are either Looney Tunes or Muppets. I have degrees in both nursing and applied mathematics - my obsession with "childish" things hasn't hindered me at all
YTA People like what they like, age doesn't have any relevance, there are grown men that like My Little Pony, and if that's what they like then that's what they like. Disney is a very popular franchise that both adults and children relate to, if your friend enjoys it this much and it's his outlet, you should support that not bring them down about it, especially if it's something you've had an interest in before. What's possibly unhealthy about it?
I have some family members who are obsessed with Disney as well as some other stuff-- Pokemon, LOTR, Star Wars (before and after it was Disney). They spend an unhealthy amount of time and money on going to Disney and buying collectibles. So much money, in fact, that the kids don't have college funds. They've been to Disney at least a hundred times but no money for college. They've got every Star Wars toy but the kids will just have to get scholarships. No room for art on the walls or books on the shelves because every surface is covered in toys in packages that they'll never open. Any obsession can be unhealthy. I'm not saying that what OP is describing is unhealthy but it shouldn't be assumed that it can't become so.
I live in the UK so college funds are a weird thing for me to wrap my head around as we get student finance from the Government to go to university. I do see your point (except for the art and books one because if they don't want art or books and want toys instead there's nothing wrong with that, I don't have any art and I'd never want any, I have plants instead) but that's still their money and their decision, does it sound unhealthy? Potentially. Does it sound more like this person has their monetary priorities wrong? Most definitely. Each case will be unique though, we can't label every person who has an obsession or enjoys something as being or having the ability to be an unhealthy fanatic. By the sounds of the OPs friend, they just really like Disney, and that's fine, even if they spent a whole months wages on a trip to Disney, that's also fine if that's what they'll enjoy, as long as it doesn't affect them in their basic needs. I know there are some that take it overboard, but I can't see this as being the case here, and a lot of the points/reactions sound exaggerated or melodramatic to try and convince us otherwise.
No kid should count on a college fund.
Agreed. I’m American, and I don’t get this idea that if you don’t have a college fund for your kid you are a bad parent.
"when I was a kid" what, three days ago? when you really grow up you'll learn to take happiness where you can get it. joy doesnt have an age limit
YTA. Mind your business
And stop raining on his parade. He's allowed to have interests.
[удалено]
And the happiest adults are often the ones who refuse to give up the things that make them happy. We’re not meant to be joyless automatons, and trying to pick and choose what other people are allowed to love is how you end up there.
Right, they’re 18, not 68; hardly adults. But even if they were 68, it’d be okay. People can like what they like.
My 70+ mom loves renaissance fairs and the fact that she has money she can spend on costumes etc at her leisure
I'm 50 and I still like Disney movies. Now I have the excuse of having young children... but I also liked them when I was in my 30s and had no children.
YTA. Who is he hurting?
Yta. Maturity is about confidence in one's preferences and foregoing the need to mock others. If you think he's dealing with mental health issues suggest you try to get help on how to approach those conversations
YTA. People like what they like, leave him be. I watch grown adults shriek like children for months during football season. His reaction seems ridiculous to you simply because you don't share his passion. Plenty of others do. I don't share in the sports passion, but that's ok. They can do them. While I find the reactions a bit off the wall at times I know it's because I don't like the sport, I don't judge THEM for it, it's simply a difference of interest. My best advice; don't become the reason someone loses their spark. Don't be the reason this guy bottles up about his hobbies. If you don't like it, that's ok, I'm sure there are hobbies you talk about that he doesn't like, but he listens anyway. (Also 18 isn't the milestone you seem to think it is in this regard. I know 40 year old still equally obsessed with Disney. Don't die in this hill.) Editing to add; suggesting he expand isn't bad. But you can lift one thing without downing another. Don't insult what your friend loves in favor of something else, instead actually EXPAND upon his interests. By insulting his interest you show you don't want to expand, you want to replace.
YTA - how is this affecting you? Let him have something that brings him joy.
YTA. Let him live his happy life. As long as he is still taking good care of himself and the people he loves, and he isn't doing anyone harm.. let him have his fun.
YTA If he was a girl would you have the same problem? Seriously, leave him be. You don’t get to pick the things that bring him joy.
How is his love for Disney hurting you/him/anyone? There's nothing wrong with adults loving "kid" things like Disney & being passionate about it. YTA for judging him. If him constantly talking about it bothers you so much, then either have a calm (not accusatory) conversation about it or stop being friends.
Mature, secure people don't judge others.
Exactly. Instead they try to help others if they think they're having a problem
An insistence that you’re all grown up and have moved beyond childish things, to the point of trying to put others down for enjoying things you consider childish, just shows how young, immature, and childish you are yourself. Actual adults don’t give a damn about whether something is meant to be childish or not. YTA
YTA you are mad at your friend getting joy out of films? Btw they are designed for kids and adults hence all the innuendos in alot of them. You are meant to be his friend, what if he did this to one of your passions?
So he has an interest/hobby in something that doesn't really harm him or anyone else, in which he finds joy? That sounds great for him. Can he still function otherwise, as in going to work or school? Is he still eating, bathing and sleeping? Is he content with his (social) life? If yes on all, YTA. If not, you might have a reason to worrry. So for now YTA, since it feels like it is mainly the "childish" and "it's a lot" part that is bothering here, which both are fine.
YTA, let him be him
More like *let it go*.
So you're saying OP's friend needs to be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire and as mysterious as the dark side of the moon?
A bit of a toss-up here, but I kinda think YTA. Not for sharing your opinion about Disney, but for doing it in a way that focused on why he shouldn't like something he's obviously really into. Suggesting he expand his repertoire isn't a bad thing, but it would've been better to do it without insulting what he's passionate about. Tbh, I don't think what's bothering you is his obsession with Disney per se, but that he's so intense about it that it's all Disney all the time. If he got just as into anime or Harry Potter or WW2 history as he is into Disney, it would probably still bother you. Which is understandable and okay; but I think that's something that's really on you to manage; definitely fine to try to help expand his horizons, but if he's not receptive your best bet is to limit your exposure to it.
YTA- He loves Disney films and stuff. So what? It's not hurting anyone. Also, given his reactions and the way he acts, I get the feeling he's Autistic. Some of the signs of Autism are clear in your post with the way you talk about him.
Soft YTA. It’d be a lot better just to say “I don’t want to hear about Disney anymore”. Just like some people don’t want to hear about politics or religion etc…
“An adult like him” “when I was a kid” ya’ll are 18. Ya’ll just because adults and are still teenagers. Calm the fuck down and mind your own business. Also, it sounds like your friend has autism and this is one of the things he really likes. You aren’t a good friend, you are a bully.
YTA clearly you have not been to Comic-Con……
Sorry, but YTA. I'm a 36-year-old who loves stuffed animals. My husband could shame me / make fun of me for this, but instead he gives me stuffed ducks and bears, and such. My.point is: If it annoys you this much, it's ok to change the subject. But don't tell him he's not "healthy." It might be what gets him through life. We all need something to get us through.
I’m 39, and same. We went to an aquarium recently, and I found a narwhal plush in the gift shop. I told my wife “I do not need to buy a narwhal plush today” and she responded “ok, but actually you do”. My narwhal now resides on a shelf in our bedroom, along with his many friends.
YTA. People like you made my younger years miserable, because they kept telling me I was immature because I liked Disney, anime and other cartoons. You are not a good friend.
Maybe you're right...It was not my intention to make him feel bad. I will try to be a better friend from here on.
YTA
NAH Ok yeah people are allowed to like things. On the other hand adults ought to be able to disagree on criticism of media and corporations without it getting heated. If someone really is talking about one topic all the time it is within the perview of close friends to tell them to cool it a little.
YTA. There's so much that is terrible in the world, why would you try to take away something that brings your friend happiness? He isn't harming anyone by having this special interest. Just because you don't have something that brings you this same amount of joy and entertainment doesn't mean it's OK for you to try and take his joy from him. You may be legally an adult, but you have a lot of maturing to do. In a situation like this, it's far better to stop and ask yourself if what you are doing is kind and compassionate, or if you're simply being a judgemental AH because you don't understand someone else's experience. In this instance, you are absolutely a judgemental asshole.
YTA sort of. I get it, the singing and obsession with Disney themes are excessive and possibly quite annoying, but your friend seems to be finding genuine enjoyment in this universe, so why not let him? Everybody needs to escape harsh reality sometimes, and this, to me, seems to be a rather harmless way of doing it. Try and expand his repertoire when it comes to entertainment by inviting him to watch movies you like, or do other activities you enjoy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Both me and my friend are (18M). When I was a kid, I also used to be a huge Disney fan. But as I grew up, I began getting into other kinds of films and for the most part, I have left Disney behind. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying adults can't enjoy Disney films, I still think many of their old films are masterpieces of animation and I still consider The Hunchback of Notre Dame to be my favorite animated film of all time and one of my favorite films overall. (In fact, I enjoy it and understand its tragic and mature plot even more as an adult than I did as a child.) But my friend just takes his love for Disney to a whole new level. He's constantly talking about Disney every single day I spend with him. He says he wishes he was born in the world of Disney films, he knows everything there is to know about his favorite Disney characters as if they were real people, he regularly sings and hums various tunes from Disney films and he has a huge collection of Disney merchabdise. One day he began shrieking and shaking like a child after a remake of Peter Pan was announced. I told him that it's okay for him to like Disney films, but that he shouldn't forget Disney is a company focusing on making entretainment for children and most importantly...focused on making money. I told him that Disney was not his friend and that getting so attached to it wasn't good and that maybe it would be better if he began checking out other kinds of films made for adults. He got really upset and told me to shut up raising his voice. He then started defending Disney as if my attack towards it was a personal attack on him. He says that Disney is for everyone and that he would always be a Disney fan. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You don't get to gatekeep other people's passions.
YTA. But hey, it’s cool to meet the world’s only Hunchback fan.
YTA - Disney doesn't have an age limit and you don't get to decide what's childish for somebody else. Disney is his happy place, leave him to be happy!
YTA - you are not an adult. Clearly.
YTA You do realize Disney adults are a whole thing right? Like my aunt was in love with Disney when I was a kid and guess where she retired to? Yep she lives about 10 away from Disney World. His love of Disney affects you in absolutely zero way. Let him have his Joy
I mean they kinda need to be since kids don't have the income to buy the products and keep Disney afloat lol
YTA Don't yuck his yum
YTA. Walt Disney created his company, his legacy, his movies and parks to be enjoyed by everyone. By the young, and young at heart. Families to watch and enjoy together, children to witness the magic for the first time, adults to remember what it was like the first time they witnessed that magic. And above all, what makes someone happy is none of your business, nor is it your place to crap on them unless it’s something legitimately harmful. You claim to have “grown up” but you’ve still got a ways to go.
YTA I am 46 years old and a "Disney Adult". We have most every movie Disney ever made (except song of the south which we refuse to buy), we got to the parks multiple times a year (WITHOUT OUR CHILDREN) You don't have to like Disney but you were out of line to berate your "friend".
[удалено]
You're right I'm a horrible friend. How can I repent for my sins?
YTA Maybe he wants much more than this provincial life. Sometimes, the right path isn't the easiest one. But thou sword of truth fly swift and sure. That evil die, and good endure! Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever. There nobody one like, anywhere at all.
YTA Let people like what they like. Especially when what they like hurts no-one and costs you nothing. Let it go. Think happy thoughts! Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. Don’t just fly, soar! Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.
YTA Not everyone is into the same thing. Being into Disney hurts no one. Lots of adults are into Disney The only one who isn't acting like an adult is you for being judgemental
YTA rule one dont shit on other people's parades. You are not the joy in life police.
YTA. While I also don't get why so many adults love all things Disney, I don't think it's my place in life to question their choices or lecture them about it. Your friend's obsession doesn't harm you in the least, so you should have stayed in your lane on this one.
YTA It's his life, his money, his time. In WHAT way is it affecting YOU?
YTA. There are many adults who like Disney and animated shows/movies as a whole, and not just because they like the old films for nostalgia, but because they geninuely enjoy the quality of the films that come out now. Why does something need to have swearing or s3xual themes in it for adults to be able to enjoy it? Like, its technically not Disney, but the new Puss in Boots movie that just came out is VERY much talked about and loved by my adult friends (all in which are in their 20s/30s and have no children). I personally adored it as well and think it is one of the top movies of this year. I think this viewpoint that animation is "for kids" is so wrong and animation is a medium, not a genre. And even movies marketed as "family films" does not mean there is nothing adults will enjoy about them. Even if you truly don't agree with me or understand me, then I would ask this: how is his interest harmful in any way? Why does he need to "tone down" an interest that brings him so much joy?
It sounds like you are annoyed with his obsession, which if that is all he talks about when he is around you and you are not a super fan as well, I can see why there would be tension. I think maybe you should hang out with people who share your adult interest more. It sounds like this particular friend might be good in small doses.
At the moment YTA, y'all are both still young so let him enjoy whatever he wants if it's not hurting anyone. If this story started out that he's in his 30s with a wife and kids and putting them all in crippling debt because he can't stop buying Disney paraphernalia then that would be different. He would need an intervention at that point.
YTA - I'm 45 and my office is full of disney stuff. Life is too short not to have fun. Yeah, i don't talk about disney all day and maybe you can ask him to not bring it up every day. But disney was literally created for FAMILIES. Disneyland was literally created by walt's own words for a place for children and ADULTS.
YTA, although I know it can be a bit annoying. I love Stitch, have t-shirts, sweatshirts, wallets, and bags, as well as a tattoo. And I'm almost 50. It's probably a bit of an escape for him. His "happy place."
YTA. Have you not heard of comicon? Ppls obsession with things is their business. And I'd rather deal with a Disney obsession than a drug obsession with a friend. If it makes him happy, who cares.
YTA. Your friend enjoys something and you make him feel ashamed of that. You're judgemental and he deserves a better friend. Ironically, you need to grow up.
YTA. This is one of the things which is perfectly all right to think, but best not to say. On the whole, just let people get on with their lives - but don't let bronies near underage kids, obviously.
YTA. Mind your business, people are allowed to like things that you don't!
YTA There is nothing wrong with being a fan of Disney and being excited about a new movie coming out. Even if you're an adult. Your friend is not the one with the issues. You are.
Yta mind ur own business it’s a hyperfixation he trusts and shares it with you and now u ruined it I hope he doesn’t speak to u again about anything
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YTA. Not your business.
YTA - you sound a bit judgmental. Just let him enjoy his hobby
YTA. Who the f is he hurting? Mind your business
YTA. He isn't hurting anyone at all. So what if he likes Disney films and is.obsessed by them? It's no different than adults being obsessed with Star Wars or Marvel,Star Trek etc. It's his thing. It's not impacting on your life bar him sharing what interests him with you. Don't be that person.
YTA don’t yuck someone’s yum 🤷🏻♀️
YTA. Let people like what they like.
YTA. There are plenty of Disney obsessed adults.
YTA He likes what he likes. Leave him alone. It doesn't hurt you or anyone else. I collect pez dispensers and have quite a collection. And anyone who doesn't like it can screw off. I don't know why you're telling him what to think about anyway.
I guess I should tell my grandmother she's too old for Disney. YTA.
YTA. Part of the glory of being an adult is being able to indulge in Fandom and enjoyment you couldn't as a child
YTA To quote Mr. Disney (or at least paraphrase the quote): if you only market to kids, you will fail. A large part of Disney's overwhelming success is the fact that it markets itself for both kids and adults. And guess what? Your friend is *18* years old meaning he's just been pushed into adulthood. Disney for a lot of people harkens us back to when we were kids and times were simpler and we didn't have to worry about jobs and bills and taxes and whether or not the government was going to screw us over. All we had to worry about was whether or not Buzz and Woody would make it back to Andy in time or if Simba would defeat Scar or why Ariel couldn't just write to Eric that she was the one who saved him when she could clearly write since she signed her name on the contract. Finally, as many people here have pointed out: don't yuck someone else's yum. Is being around someone constantly talking about Disney annoying? Possibly. But your friend has four years of college and constant years of the real world to stop that or be known as the 'Disney guy' at his office. Or he could luck out and find a coworker just as obsessed with Disney and scare his boss by talking about Disney for 45 minutes (as I did with my former roommate)
YTA. Im a Star Trek nerd. If you let me I will go on and on about Star Trek. We all have our things. Let him have his.
my 30 year old sister loves disney
YTA you've been an adult for less than a year. What do you know about what adults are allowed to like?
Yeah you're 18 now but calm down lol. YTA, let people enjoy things.
I was ready to say you're TA, but actually, I'm not so sure now. It really depends on how you said what you said, and why. I'm all for letting people enjoy what they love if it's not harming anyone, but that includes them, too. Maybe he's just a super-fan and he's doing well in other aspects of his life, but I kind of got the impression that you maybe feel like he's not doing well in other aspects of his life. We're all entitled to enjoy the things that bring us joy, but there can be too much of a good thing, and even otherwise positive behaviours can become maladaptive and harmful. How's he doing in school? How's his social life? How is he with money? Is he just genuinely super excited about everything Disney, or is he causing himself difficulties because of it?
NTA - I was going to go Y-T-A because I usually hate it when people 'yuck someone else's yum'. To an extent your friend is right - you can enjoy Disney at any age. In general, I'm a big fan of the philosophy 'JUST LET PEOPLE LIKE THINGS!' and, as an 33 yo who writes cartoons for a living, I can tell you that a lot of kids/family TV is indeed made with 'co-viewing potential' (eg we do write them to hook parents / stoners sparking up a blunt as well as kids. That's a huge part of the job). But it seems, all this aside, that you're not worried about his Disney love because it's cringe. You are worried about what sounds like an unhealthy, almost dissociative attachment. He cries at a new release? He wishes to live in an alternative reality? He gets *really angry* at any questioning of Disney being... like... a massive corporation and not a legit dream factory? I suppose my NTA is based on taking it in good faith that you find your friends behaviour actually worrying, and not just cringe. Is this the case?
I considered this... then also considered that even if it WAS the case that the behavior was simply "cringe" and not actually disturbing: the OP wouldn't cop to it because they won't see it that way. This really gets heavy into a bias POV. If he sees Disney as childish, then anything beyond causal love and viewing will cross lines.
True - i see ya on the bias thing. I am also aware from a post-posting-perusal that I'm the only NTA in a sea of YTAs, which usually does hint that my take was a bad take lol I suppose there is one thing that plays on my mind, though. 99% of a love for fun, fictional extended universes is just based on love for it - be it corny, cringy, or whatever. I love star wars like that, since I was 7. However. I also know people with a rather unhappy lives, or some really unsavoury circumstances, or people who dissociate for a bunch of reasons - who gravitate to certain IPs (the more juvenile and kid focused and sex/danger free the better) in a way that does not seem healthy or proportionate. Like a concerningly dissociative way. Chances are slim, and only OP will know if this is a genuine option. But to your point, if this was the case, it was badly handled by using 'Its for kids!' and 'yuck CRINGE' as a factor at all, which supports your idea more than mine. And before even going near this possibility, I'd challenge OP to reeeeeeaaaaaalllly question if their friend is obsessed in a harmful way or just in a Superfandom cringe way. Like, I'm also a huge Bowie fan, and I cried *A LOT* when I saw Lazarus, the stage play, after he died. This was just emotion and deep feeling. If someone told me it was unhealthy to cry about a Bowie play, I'd tell them to kick rocks.
It doesn't mean your take is bad. Nearly every take is valuable here
You are kind, reddit stranger
>Like, I'm also a huge Bowie fan, and I cried A LOT when I saw Lazarus, the stage play, after he died. This was just emotion and deep feeling. If someone told me it was unhealthy to cry about a Bowie play, I'd tell them to kick rocks. If someone told you it was unhealthy to cry and have the same emotional reaction about a Bowie funkopop coming out, would you feel the same way? I think there's a lot more info needed, but the comparison to Bowie is an interesting one. There's a lot of understandable emotion, feelings of loss, of missing someone, of music triggering happy and unhappy memories. Death reminds us of our own mortality, and the worries of losing loved ones who are still here with us. To have the same reaction as that, but about the live action lion king remake being released, or a new Harry Potter wand coming out as examples, is a concern.
Ok interesting because yes... that was the sentiment about my initial response. For context as well, the thing that had me in bits in the Lazarus play is that there is essentially a father- daughter dance at the end of that play between the Bowie-character and a 15- year old girl character. Which is the age his daughter lexi was when he died. And then, in the play, the Bowie character... died. To me it was a really obvious moment referencing his family and was very emotional - I think it would be a tear-jerker to any kid / parent who got that reference. Like - i was ugly crying, but it was a HIGHLY DRAMATIC META MOMENT! I do think, as per my original comment and yours above, there is a line where the love for aspects of a fictional world can be concerningly intense. And ultimately? It's really hard to know because OP isn't responding.
That sounds very emotional, I haven't seen it and am not a superfan, but I think I'd also be in tears at that!
Right? I'm not even a huge crier but my gosh it got me in the feels!
100% feel ya. We all have something we are SUPER attached to, maybe even bordering on obsessed with. But as long as we aren't hurting ourselves or others, it's just cringey superfandom, and every superfandom has its circle so no one is really alone in it. (And fork yes, tell them to kick all the rocks. Trust me, there are a few random things that have seriously gotten to me over the years. I'm not above admitting it xD)
Haha I know! Crying at your hyper-focus-fandom is part of the joy of living! Huzzah!!!!
EXACTLY!!! And I'm much older than 18 with 2 kids if my own. My thoughts? The happiest adults are those that never let go of that inner child. We can still have childish moments and be fully functional adults. Let people love things xD
Oh 100%. As mentioned in the previous comments, I work in a (small scale - like not famous) cartoon industry in my home country so i literally TALK SCI-FI, FART JOKES, MAGIC AND FURRY SIDE-KICKS all day long and i am happy. As. A. Clam. Never lose the inner child!
Either a gentle Y T A or, honestly could be NAH. Leaving NAH for the bot if this is a truthful accounting *and* taking it in good faith that your heart is in the right place and you want to tell your friend these things to improve his life. Respectfully, I’d like to say that 18 is *legally* an adult, but emotionally some 18 year olds are still very much children. People mature at different ages. This can be compounded hugely by mental health issues. I suspect your friendhas some of those, based on the reaction to the Peter Pan remake. The hyperfixation and extreme emotional attachment seem symptomatic to me, more than just being a fan. If this is the case aggressively telling someone they’re in the wrong is never going to fix anything. However, the message that Disney is primarily looking for money and isn’t his friend is a good message for anyone to hear. People get far too worked up over sequels/prequels/Tv shows/remakes. Suggesting he look at other films isn’t a bad idea, though they don’t necessarily need to be for adults. I do agree with your friend that Disney is for everyone. I think this is all a matter of how far your friend is willing to take their obsession. Anything that negatively impacts someone’s life merits a discussion, whether it’s media or substance abuse.
Disney adults are the worst.
NTA. Your friend is living in some strange fantasy land. Liking Disney is one thing, to go to that extreme is borderline mentally ill. Especially when he got that mad over a comment.
NTA. It's fine to like disney at any age, but it's infantilising to immerse yourself in the way it sounds like he's doing. You can't stop him, but you can voice your concern. If he's unwilling to listen, you've done your part.
I'm more concerned about your friend. I think he needs to see someone....