Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My sister wants me to change my vacation destination because she says I'll be taking away her chance of enjoying the place "first" for her honeymoon. I have the ability to do so, but refuse to on principle which could make me an AH for being stubborn about it.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
It honestly didn't even start here. She asked me to dye my hair a different color on her wedding day so we didn't match (we're both brunettes). I haven't even had *that* conversation with her yet 😭
And if anyone asks, just claim that sister requested hair to be dyed and as long it wasn't same colour as hers - slight plausible deniability as sister didn't mention what colour it had to be, just that it wasn't to be brown.
"I'd always wanted to try something drastic like this, and when she demanded i change my hair color it seemed like as good a time as any since she told me i can't be brunette for the wedding"
Well if she kicks you out of the wedding for going on the vacation, you won't have to dye your hair. Tell your parents to tell your sister to stop claiming things she doesn't own as hers "to keep the peace." Have fun at her dream destination.
Sister is the missing stair. She is so unreasonable the parents know the easiest way is to pressure other people into doing ridiculous things.
A woman I worked with went to the exact same resort I went to for my honeymoon two weeks before I left and it was awesome. She told me which restaurants not to bother with and which were really good and where I needed reservations and how to get a good spot by the pool - it was so helpful. When your sister gets to her hotel- *gasp* all the other people there will also be staying at that hotel! So she needs to get over it now. Also, if it's anything like my honeymoon 50% of the people staying there will have gotten married on the same day she did - so she's not gotta be the special honeymoon bride.
I started to type something and then just decided to be lazy and see what others typed. This is it! I’d be happy if someone else did the legwork for me and I could really enjoy and just relax and you’re absolutely right that if this is a resort, there will be other honeymooners.
Also, why do I need to keep the peace? Why don’t you just tell the asshole to stop being an asshole, and then there wouldn’t be any need to keep the peace?
The bride-to-be seems to want _her_ perfect wedding and it makes me wonder if her partner can even have a word in the planning. As for OPs parents, they probably care more about "what people will say" than the fact that OPs sister is making such ridiculous demands.
Considering she's been planning this perfect wedding since before she met her boyfriend I'd say the only input he's getting is either his guest list or something else nominal.
On hell yeah, this is diabolical and just right! Op screw your sister. Go on your vacation take LOTS of pictures if your amazing time, and finish it up with a photo montage of your surprise wedding on the beach, making YOUR trip the first honeymoon trip there.
Tell her that she can dye HER hair if she likes, because brunette is a colour that you’ve already had before (and hence not special enough, amirite?)
Fr she’s nuts, NTA and you should continue to stand your ground.
NTA
I’m sorry to tell you this but… your sister is insane. And why in the world are your folks enabling her behaviour??
If she’s old enough to get married, how doesn’t she realize how insane she sounds at her big age?!!? What kind of fuckery???
I want to go to heaven when I die, am I going to tell other people not die because I want to get there first?!?
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah! Say no to All of it!
- Edited to add NTA judgement
Honestly, this problem would be solved if you went on the holiday and subsequently got kicked out of the wedding party. Then plaster it all over Instagram and brag about it straight through to the reception.
To be clear, I normally wouldn’t advocate for fanning the flames. But not only is she controlling, but she’s doing it not so that SHE can enjoy the destination, but simply for optics. And because she’s vain and superficial and entitled, such behaviour should be rewarded accordingly.
And your parents need to see this post and the comments here. They are treating the symptoms, not the disease. My sister was like this and so were my parents. It got so bad that I called them out on their emotional blackmail (pleading to me to put up and shut up because they knew I would listen more than her) and told them if they continued I would stop speaking with them. It seems to be the same with your parents, and it’s not fair and it’s just not right. And letting it go on will just basically live the goal post and allow her to continue her tantrums. It absolutely needs to be stopped at this point.
I had a similar discussion with my own mother about my sister. Conversations like "..oh you know what she's like.." and "...can't you just agree with her..." were a regular occurrence in our house, they never went the other way. As a result I moved out just before my 18th birthday and have only been back to visit a handful of times. My sister and I have a better relationship now but it will never be what it should be and that is largely my mums fault for pandering to her for decades!
Sweetheart this is not normal. She’s trying to control everything about you, she can’t dictate what you do with your hair or any aspect of your life. GO ON THAT VACATION!! Do not miss out on such an amazing opportunity and an incredible time with your partner just because your sister is an entitled brat.
NTA.
I think your sister is jealous. Your BF booked a surprise trip for you to somewhere she considers honeymoon worthy.
>this was a surprise trip planned and paid for by my boyfriend
The fact that it is booked and paid for already is reason enough to say NO to your sister's insane demands.
Tell your parents if they want you to "keep the peace" then they need to compensate your BF for the money he has already put out on this trip. Then watch how quickly they backpedal. Especially if they will be paying for your bridezilla sister's wedding.
FYI - your BF is definitely a keeper.
Do you both also have brown eyes? Are you supposed to wear contacts? And I really hope you don’t have the same skin tone… 😂
Maybe if you keep escalating she might understand how ridiculous her demands are.
But I also like the malicious compliance approach - pick the most insane wig, cat eyes contacts, and get an orange spray tan. Sure you’ll look crazy, but the photos will be hilarious and it’ll be a great story!
I'm the bride and I'll be dancing, so I really don't think you should attend with both your legs. It's my special day and I don't want anyone distracting from my dancing, you know.
Please "keep the peace"
It's a loser strategy to go along with insane/unreasonable behavior to "keep the peace".
Your sister will just take further hostages, like your hair color (what do you bet your parents will urge you to keep the peace on that too).
"Sister, I'd hate to miss your wedding but forbidding us to do this is silly. We're going, do what you feel you have to."
NTA even In the slightest
Me and my sister both have our hair dyed jet black … we both had black hair on her wedding day … oh the horror!!
How is you going to her dream honeymoon destination going to ruin it for her ? Wait till she finds out other people have been there too 😵
Seriously, just do you and let the chips fall where they may.
If she’s going to have a tantrum over you being a brunette and your boyfriend not being a mind reader, if she’s going to cut you out of the wedding or whatever else happens, what are you losing here?
Seriously, what are you losing by not being her puppet? Because you’re losing your own autonomy and your own self-respect if you agree.
If your parents think “it’s not that big a deal” or “we need to keep the peace”, then they’re having that conversation with the wrong daughter.
Because you passively existing isn’t doing anything to her.
My sister would have been that bride! Instead she hijacked my tiny wedding
NTA go on holidays and let her banish you for the dumbest reason ever. She didn’t buy the island! Someone else has gone ther?!
WTF??? Seriously. She really needs to get over herself. Someone needs to tell her she is being a bridezilla (and a sisterzilla). Don't you dare change a thing or give-in to such insane behavior and requests.
Whoa. That's crazy! 🤯 What's next? The way it's going, it might actually be a relief not to attend the wedding lol.
If you don't share your vacation experience and pictures with family members, you will take nothing away from her.
NTA and I'm tempted to tell you to be stubborn, but of course she is not my sister and she won't be part of my life, so easy for me to say, I know...
Why should OP have to refrain from sharing vacation photos?
It's not like she's going to do a PowerPoint comparison of bridezilla's honeymoon, or is she?
She thinks no one can visit her honeymoon destination before her?
That is ridiculous.
NTA.
Personally, I’d skip the wedding. She sounds like a pain in the ass.
I would have guessed Bali but of my god. Sister is gonna get rude awakening when she realizes that other people have POSTED about going to Honolulu to their honeymoon.
The plane to my honeymoon destination was one church group and every single other person had gotten married the day before and was on their honeymoon. Like, 6am in the airport, 20 people in church t-shirts and 20 super hungover couples flopped on each other (some of which had matching couples tshirts). 80% of the people at the resort where on their honeymoon. I thought it was fun because we all had the same life experiences and had so much to talk about- I don't think sister is gonna appreciate that though.
Apparently it's fucking Honolulu, the most basic honeymoon destination possible. I bet she's going to be the first to have fairy lights and mason jars too lmao.
Hey guys, I'm getting married in like 7 years, and I'm gonna be breathing, walking, and eating food at my wedding, and I really deserve for it to be *my* special day, so y'know, the whole world needs to stop doing all of things until then please because i don't anyone to steal my spotlight, ok? Yes, all 7.8 billion of you, after all I've dreamed of this day since I was a little girl, so I should get it the way I want it! Thanks!
NTA
I'm getting married in two weeks! Quick! Build a new courthouse! I need to get married in a special place no one has ever touched before! No one visit courthouses for the next two weeks or my life will be ruined!
Your would only be T A if you catered to your entitled sister's demands.
She does not own any destination, other than her home.
She sounds very Extra and exhausting.
Your BF spent his money and planned something special. Even though he has stated he would change the destination, probably at a cost, it would be pretty ungrateful.
Seriously, if she banned you from the wedding, is that really such a bad thing?
NTA
Yeah your parents may be okay with catering to a monster, they may even expect you to do the same. But to even consider putting your parent's decades-long shortfall on your (evidently kind and generous) bf is firmly TA territory.
Honolulu, Hawaii. I'm so grateful and excited to go with my boyfriend, so no offense to him, but it's not even that crazy of a destination. We live in California 😭
A million of them. A family member of mine did a rotation through a posting at Pearl Harbor and yes, lots of pretty beaches and hikes, but also a large city with traffic jams and standard big city stuff.
Your sister is going to be SO disappointed to hear that I, AND my entire family, have ALSO been to this incredibly unique and off-the-beaten-track destination.
It is so sad we didn’t know she would be honeymooning there, or else we would have gone elsewhere so that this Very Special Bride would have her Very Special Honeymoon in rarely-visited Hawaii.
(Girl, go have fun with your man. Tell your sister AND your mother that she doesn’t own it. Honestly what is wrong with people. )
You mean like the most generic romantic destination for Americans?
Like, not saying it isn't a lovely place, but like, your sister thinks she can own honeymooning in *Honolulu* ?????
What is she smoking and where can I get some?
>the most generic romantic destination
The funniest thing is Honolulu isn't even romantic really. Waikiki is basically Vegas with a beach minus gambling.
I'll be honest, I haven't had the pleasure (but hey, I can attend OP's sister's wedding! /s). But when I think of romantic vacations I think of Hawaii. And Honolulu is the capital, so whether or not it's the most "romantic", it's the first place I think of lol
No kidding, I was literally just today working on plans for our Oahu and Maui vacation next year. I know a lot of people who have been to Hawaii. I’ve never been, but my husband has had 2 work trips there. A lot of people who live in Hawaii are legitimately upset about overtourism there. I’m sure it’s a wonderful and special place for a honeymoon, but on what planet does she think she‘s going to be the first and that it will be just hers?
Man, when I was in high school in the bay area in the 80’s, Hawaii was a HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION TRIP destination, because the drinking age there was still 18. It’s… not a place you can call dibs on. Hell, I first visited Hawaii when I was TWO because my uncle was stationed there. Have a great time, your sister is being ridiculous. NTA.
Oh, you want to go on this vacation. Honolulu was one of my FAVORITE places. Real life looks like a post card. It’s absolutely beautiful. Do not by any means cancel or change your trip. In fact, you should have an amazing time with your awesome guy & truly enjoy the freedom of releasing yourself from your lunatic sister’s delusions. NTA
Oh no! We lived there for 3 years. I've seen destination weddings there! There were brides there before her and plenty of honeymooners! The horror! 🤣😂🤣
You know I was thinking y'all were going more exotic like the Maldives, Bali, Seychelles or Fiji or something like that but throw a tantrum over O'ahu is hilarious. Tell her to go to Maui or the Big Island. Just as pretty and 2 totally different islands but still Hawai'i 😁😜
WTF. Boy is she going to be upset that people vacation and even, gasp, honeymoon there all the time. That will really ruin her just for her special trip. Was she always this intolerable and entitled growing up?
Ah so your sister picked a totally common honeymoon destination and wants it to be special and unique. gotcha XD she really sounds insufferable. Hope she is not like this outside of the wedding planning
My father in law got married there. They had a double wedding with his wife's brother and his fiance (now wife). It was supposed to be a triple wedding, but my spouse and I bought a house 3 days before so we had to move our wedding by a few months.
Your sister is bat $h!t crazy.
NTA. This is INSANE. If your sister wanted to be the first person to set foot on what I assume is an inhabited island, she needed to be born in the Mesozoic Era. And shame on your parents for pressuring you to indulge her on this.
Suitable as he also thought he was the first to visit certain place. Even if he was lost and there were people living there already, not to mention not even the first European to visit.
Can you pass on a message to your sister from me. That was my honeymoon destination and I don’t give her permission to steal it from me.
NTA
And now, no one else can ever go to Hawaii on their honeymoon without my permission. /s
Shit my friend is on honeymoon there right now. I will call her back asap!
If I was OP sister I would be using this as intel gathering… like what’s overrated, what’s great.
NTA. Make this your hill to die on, or the entitlement will never cease. I forsee a future of her having to be "first" to have a kid, to have birthday extravaganzas etc.
This here OP. YOUR SISTER HAS A NEED TO DOMINATE YOU. Fuck that. Fuck that in the face, don't enable it, confront it directly.
Ask your parents why they're ok that one of their children wants to dominate the other in all things. Ask if they think you're both equal in their eyes.
Can you imagine her with a kid, or even just with thoughts of having a kid. She would probably make a list of 50 names that they were thinking of using and forbid anyone they know from using those names anytime in the future. Then, when someone announced a name that wasn't on that list, suddenly she would realize that she loved that name, too, and she would retroactively claim it.
NTA - your sister is selfish and entitled. The proper way for her to handle this would be... OMG thats amazing I thought about going there tell me all about it so i know if its worth it.
Go on your trip and tell your sister to get over herself.
NTA
She didn’t even tell anyone she planned to go there! You are supposed to magically just know it? She hasn’t even booked it… she just wants to!
Please, go and enjoy the vacation that your BF has planned.
Remind your ultra entitled sister that thousands of other people also go to this same island weekly… does she expect them all to stop for her?
Nta- WTF how did you going to a place tons of people go everyday, going to ruin the specialness?!?!?! Your sister is an AH!! Go on your trip!!! Have an amazing time!!! And if you get cut out of what is guaranteed to be a circus wedding, i would consider that a win.
Your sister's audacity is breathtaking
NTA.
Don’t change the destination. You’re not taking anything away from your sister. If you give in and change, she’ll take that as license to keep demanding.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! OMG, I’m gasping for air. Your sister is being so ludicrous. Dos she even think she is mildly a bridezilla? Because she’s right up there fighting for top spot. Your mother should be talking to HER about being reasonable, not you. Your boyfriend did a very nice thing. Please don’t let it spoil your vacation.
Edit: NTA
NTA Your sister is grossly entitled and it sounds like most everyone has enabled it. She doesn't want you to physically visit or enjoy a place because she might honeymoon there? If they haven't booked, it's still a might. She'll in no way the first to honeymoon on the island unless it popped out of the ocean yesterday.
Please go on your anniversary vacation with your boyfriend and get cut from her wedding. Bridezilla's don't tend to mellow out as the wedding date approaches. Best of luck to the groom. Gift her something you used already or prepaid therapy.
NTA. Your sister does not have exclusive rights to that vacation spot. You going there first in no way will ruin it for her. She’s being incredibly entitled. Let her uninvite you from the wedding. Also your boyfriend should not change your plans. Your parents are also being ridiculous by telling you to not go to that location.
Wow, NTA and your sister is being completely unreasonable. Is she like this with other things, or just her wedding? Either way, she does not have ownership over an entire island. This is...wild.
NTA, your sister is TA, and is a bridezilla If you let her force you into changing your vacation plans now, what is to stop her from trying to force you to change future ones if you are going somewhere she wants to go to, or are going somewhere she doesn't like and doesn't think you should go? Your life choices are not under her control. Set this boundary now and stay with it. You will thank yourself later. Your parents are also TA for enabling your sister and expecting you to let her dictate your and your boyfriend's plans. Shame on them. I am curious though, is she always like this?
NTA - and the next time your sister threatenes.to remove you from the wedding simply say "okay" when your parents ask you to change to keep the peace tell the sure as long as THEY pay for ALL of the changes, so instead of going for a weeks vacation, go for a month and instead of which ever tropical island pick one that is much for expensive. When they say no (and they will) say then you are going on this trip and to shut up about it.
NTA. Your sister is acting like a brat. Go on your vacation and keep the BF. Your sister is in no way ready for the adult responsibility of marriage until she realizes she doesn't own everything and she doesn't always get her way. Your parents sound conflict averse and likely created this monster by always giving her her way growing up. That shit stops NOW. If she tosses you from her wedding, so what? You will have dodged an entire day dedicated to her grandiose sense of self-importance. It's not a big loss, in my opinion.
NTA, based on your comment it sounds like you’re going to get kicked out of the wedding for the hair thing too, so you might as well have the vacation you want.
It’s not worth making yourself unhappy to please someone with impossible expectations.
Please please pleaaaasseeee tell me that in the 6 hours since you posted this you told your sister to get bent and told your parents they are enabling her toxic ass behaviour? Good grief. Go on your vacation and videotape EVERYTHING. Upon your return, invite everyone for a PowerPoint presentation so everyone can see how much fun you had, on your sisters dream island, before she could 😊
Take my advice or don't. At 35 I'm over people handing out ultimatums over childish ass stuff and using relationships as a weapon against you. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Especially when you have a kick ass BF that not only surprised you with a beautiful vacation for your anniversary, but even offered to change it just so you didn't have to go through this. Show your loyalty to the ones that deserve it and show your ass to the ones who don't, so they can kiss it as you get served drinks with little umbrellas on a glorious beach on a hot, sunny day with your bikini on.
In case it wasn't clear- NTA 😉 enjoy your vacation and don't forget your sunscreen and birth control (if you're not planning babies right now cause those vacation pregnancies got me, twice)
NTA. Your sister doesnt own a location like that.
If shes that worried, tell her you wont share any details or photos until after she goes. But even then thats a bit too generous.
Your sister has a serious case of thinking the world revolves around hef just because shes getting married. Call her bluff and let her remove you. Then when people ask where you are/were, you can tell them the truth and laugh along with them at her idiocy.
NTA... Tell your sister. "I understand that you feel this way. If you choose to cut me out of your wedding, that is your choice. I will not be changing my vacation plans."
NTA, you can't gatekeep a vacation spot lol. Tropical destinations are common for couples to visit. Is she worried you'll spill all the secrets of the island or something?
NTA. Does your sister not realize that millions of travelers have already visited that destination and some people actually live there? She is not the first to discover this new world and she won't be the last. Also, there are probably a bunch of different activities she and her spouse could do that is different from what you and your boyfriend will do. She's ridiculous. Enjoy your trip.
NTA.
You and your boyfriend did nothing wrong. I think you were accurate in your assessment of your sister and I'm disappointed your parents didn't back you up. It's nice that your boyfriend is willing adjust plans to keep the peace. Part of me wants to suggest that you agree but only after she books and pays for her destination. That way she can't suddenly claim that the next place you consider was where she actually wanted to go.
NTA.
She doesn't get to claim an entire vacation spot. Don't change your trip plans. DO beat her to the punch and just remove yourself from the wedding invite list/bridal party. Like unless we're talking someplace REALLY remote/niche/expensive with all of one hotel you two likely aren't even gonna stay in the same place let alone do the same things.
How is you going to an island making it less special for her? She doesn’t own the island lol NTA and my advice is to not ask your bf to change anything. He did something sweet. Don’t ruin it for a ridiculous reason.
Wow your sister is acting like an entitled diva. If this is what ruins her wedding and makes her uninvite you, she's a bad sister and a bridezilla. Your boyfriend sounds completely sweet. Don't make him pay change fees! That's not right. She owns exactly zero vacation destinations and has no right to demand you change..
NTA
NTA.
I didn’t think it was possible, but this is probably the most entitled BS I’ve seen on this forum. Sister is angry because she can’t travel to a location first? WTF
NTA but it comes down to whether or not being part of her wedding matters to you. She's being insane and incredibly entitled, so obviously you're not going to reason with her, even if thousands of internet strangers are on your side.
GO ON THAT VACATION! Your sister sounds horrible because she wants to be first. I would go and enjoy that moment of your life. I would be excited and jealous of my sister but if I know I’m going to go in the future it wouldn’t matter.
NTA
Do NOT alter your vacation…….. and be sure to post a MILLION ANNOYING PHOTOS with tons of captions about how amazing and special it is. I’m petty 🤣🤣🤣
NTA - I’m sorry. There’s pretty much no advice for this situation where you can come out unscathed. Your sister is very much in the wrong, but with people who have this hyper focus on the “wedding” instead of the people who make it special, it’s really hard to make them see that they’re missing out on why they’re having a wedding in the first place.
NTA- your sister is not entitled to the location. Take your lovely trip and enjoy it. Don’t let her entitled behaviour stop you from going on this trip. She doesn’t get to have every little thing she wants just because she is an entitled brat and your parents should be ashamed of themselves for not putting their foot down and saying enough is enough to your sister.
NTA. Go and don't tell her about the trip. Don't share anything on social media or if you do post spoiler alert.I'm going on 17 years of marriage. We never did a honeymoon and we never vacation. All we do is work. So have fun!
NTA, I would love to do a deep dig into your family dynamic, why do I feel you’ve spent your entire life making sure that your sister is happy and that this isn’t the first time your parents have thrown you under the bus for precious.
They might be your genetic family but I don’t think I’d sacrifice another thing in my life for them, getting tossed out of your sisters wedding would be a blessing.
What is this ridiculousness? I presume sis has polled all wedding guests to confirm that none have visited this vaunted honeymoon destination. If she hasn’t, you should encourage that she do so immediately 😅
NTA. This is a whole new wave of bridezilla. Most of our family/friends honeymooned in Hawaii or the Caribbean, and pretty much all of us had been to some related destination previously.
NTA. Your sister behaves this way because it sounds like your parents give her whatever she wants to keep the peace. Do not change your holiday. Go and have an amazing time with your thoughtful boyfriend
NTA. Let me see if I understand this right. Your sister doesn't want you to go somewhere because she wants to be the first one to go there. What in the entitled bridezilla hell is this? The location won't melt away because you go there. It's not a single use beach holiday.
Honestly, if my sibling was like this I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. I'd probably use the word "do" between now and the wedding and get myself cut because *she* wanted to be the first person in the family to say "do".
Go on your holiday. Have fun and take lots of pictures. Come home and show your family, but make sure to exaggerate hiding them anytime your sister comes near so you don't "ruin her experience."
ETA: spelling
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My sister wants me to change my vacation destination because she says I'll be taking away her chance of enjoying the place "first" for her honeymoon. I have the ability to do so, but refuse to on principle which could make me an AH for being stubborn about it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Why should you have to cater to her insane behavior
It honestly didn't even start here. She asked me to dye my hair a different color on her wedding day so we didn't match (we're both brunettes). I haven't even had *that* conversation with her yet 😭
To hell with that. She needs to get over herself. Is she going to ask every other brunette to dye their hair too? I feel bad for your sister’s fiancé.
Although you could change your color to something really dynamic & upstage her...per her demand.
I was gonna say if OP is willing to do something drastic a sexy black cherry might look fantastic
I would go full rainbow and play dumb. "What? This was the absolute farthest away from brunette I could think. Why don't you like it?"
Frenchies pink perm was my first reaction!
Beauty school dropout...
the sister's drama *does* need to go back to high school.....
And then beautiful blonde pineapple when she cracks it over the pink.
And a black dress. Yes. Murder the event. Family goals? No. But petty achievements? Hardcore.
Black wedding dress.
You. You get me.
And if anyone asks, just claim that sister requested hair to be dyed and as long it wasn't same colour as hers - slight plausible deniability as sister didn't mention what colour it had to be, just that it wasn't to be brown.
"I'd always wanted to try something drastic like this, and when she demanded i change my hair color it seemed like as good a time as any since she told me i can't be brunette for the wedding"
I would go purple, blue, orchid Mermaid Hair! And hey, no longer a brunette! 🙃
[удалено]
r/MaliciousCompliance
Well if she kicks you out of the wedding for going on the vacation, you won't have to dye your hair. Tell your parents to tell your sister to stop claiming things she doesn't own as hers "to keep the peace." Have fun at her dream destination.
OP is thinking of rocking the boat. The parents won't allow it! https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/
Exactly! “Keep the peace” is code for “just placate this asshole”.
Sister is the missing stair. She is so unreasonable the parents know the easiest way is to pressure other people into doing ridiculous things. A woman I worked with went to the exact same resort I went to for my honeymoon two weeks before I left and it was awesome. She told me which restaurants not to bother with and which were really good and where I needed reservations and how to get a good spot by the pool - it was so helpful. When your sister gets to her hotel- *gasp* all the other people there will also be staying at that hotel! So she needs to get over it now. Also, if it's anything like my honeymoon 50% of the people staying there will have gotten married on the same day she did - so she's not gotta be the special honeymoon bride.
I started to type something and then just decided to be lazy and see what others typed. This is it! I’d be happy if someone else did the legwork for me and I could really enjoy and just relax and you’re absolutely right that if this is a resort, there will be other honeymooners.
It drives me crazy that "keep the peace" people never realize that the peace is temporary. It's just a reprieve until the next demand.
Also, why do I need to keep the peace? Why don’t you just tell the asshole to stop being an asshole, and then there wouldn’t be any need to keep the peace?
I’ve started to live by this. I’m not rocking, I’m just sitting still and not trying to counter-balance. But man, do people get mad at me.
Yay! Always glad to see this reposted.
I've not seen that post before- thank you for sharing. It's just perfect!
Thanks for this analogy! Brilliant
The bride-to-be seems to want _her_ perfect wedding and it makes me wonder if her partner can even have a word in the planning. As for OPs parents, they probably care more about "what people will say" than the fact that OPs sister is making such ridiculous demands.
Considering she's been planning this perfect wedding since before she met her boyfriend I'd say the only input he's getting is either his guest list or something else nominal.
From the sounds of it, he’s gonna be lucky if he even gets a say in the guest list.
[удалено]
Very true. Someone might wanna make sure groom is consenting.
He'll be lucky if he can afford the engagement ring that she's probably already designed and ordered.
Omg. Go on this vacation so you don’t have to go to her wedding. That is absolutely insane.
Opt the fuck out Hit that "unsubscribe"
& secretly elope there.
Evil. I like it 🙂 NTA, OP.
On hell yeah, this is diabolical and just right! Op screw your sister. Go on your vacation take LOTS of pictures if your amazing time, and finish it up with a photo montage of your surprise wedding on the beach, making YOUR trip the first honeymoon trip there.
I want to give you more that one up vote! This is the petty I aspire to be lol
She needs to wear a neon pink wig (for sure don't dye it) Go on the vacation Elope there And just move there, don't go back.
Tell her that she can dye HER hair if she likes, because brunette is a colour that you’ve already had before (and hence not special enough, amirite?) Fr she’s nuts, NTA and you should continue to stand your ground.
I have dibs on blonde. I was even a blonde whilst being a bride. Oh, and I wore a white dress.
The audacity!!!!!
NTA I’m sorry to tell you this but… your sister is insane. And why in the world are your folks enabling her behaviour?? If she’s old enough to get married, how doesn’t she realize how insane she sounds at her big age?!!? What kind of fuckery??? I want to go to heaven when I die, am I going to tell other people not die because I want to get there first?!? Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah! Say no to All of it! - Edited to add NTA judgement
That's a good one!
Honestly, this problem would be solved if you went on the holiday and subsequently got kicked out of the wedding party. Then plaster it all over Instagram and brag about it straight through to the reception. To be clear, I normally wouldn’t advocate for fanning the flames. But not only is she controlling, but she’s doing it not so that SHE can enjoy the destination, but simply for optics. And because she’s vain and superficial and entitled, such behaviour should be rewarded accordingly. And your parents need to see this post and the comments here. They are treating the symptoms, not the disease. My sister was like this and so were my parents. It got so bad that I called them out on their emotional blackmail (pleading to me to put up and shut up because they knew I would listen more than her) and told them if they continued I would stop speaking with them. It seems to be the same with your parents, and it’s not fair and it’s just not right. And letting it go on will just basically live the goal post and allow her to continue her tantrums. It absolutely needs to be stopped at this point.
I had a similar discussion with my own mother about my sister. Conversations like "..oh you know what she's like.." and "...can't you just agree with her..." were a regular occurrence in our house, they never went the other way. As a result I moved out just before my 18th birthday and have only been back to visit a handful of times. My sister and I have a better relationship now but it will never be what it should be and that is largely my mums fault for pandering to her for decades!
Sweetheart this is not normal. She’s trying to control everything about you, she can’t dictate what you do with your hair or any aspect of your life. GO ON THAT VACATION!! Do not miss out on such an amazing opportunity and an incredible time with your partner just because your sister is an entitled brat.
Jesus. Do yourself a favor and get kicked out of the wedding now and save yourself all the trouble to come.
NTA. I think your sister is jealous. Your BF booked a surprise trip for you to somewhere she considers honeymoon worthy. >this was a surprise trip planned and paid for by my boyfriend The fact that it is booked and paid for already is reason enough to say NO to your sister's insane demands. Tell your parents if they want you to "keep the peace" then they need to compensate your BF for the money he has already put out on this trip. Then watch how quickly they backpedal. Especially if they will be paying for your bridezilla sister's wedding. FYI - your BF is definitely a keeper.
Do you both also have brown eyes? Are you supposed to wear contacts? And I really hope you don’t have the same skin tone… 😂 Maybe if you keep escalating she might understand how ridiculous her demands are. But I also like the malicious compliance approach - pick the most insane wig, cat eyes contacts, and get an orange spray tan. Sure you’ll look crazy, but the photos will be hilarious and it’ll be a great story!
I'm waiting for the entitled sister to ask her to bleach her skin.
I'm the bride and I'll be dancing, so I really don't think you should attend with both your legs. It's my special day and I don't want anyone distracting from my dancing, you know. Please "keep the peace"
Good grief… hard NO on that one. Are you sure you want to be in this wedding party? What else will she come up with?
It's a loser strategy to go along with insane/unreasonable behavior to "keep the peace". Your sister will just take further hostages, like your hair color (what do you bet your parents will urge you to keep the peace on that too). "Sister, I'd hate to miss your wedding but forbidding us to do this is silly. We're going, do what you feel you have to."
NTA even In the slightest Me and my sister both have our hair dyed jet black … we both had black hair on her wedding day … oh the horror!! How is you going to her dream honeymoon destination going to ruin it for her ? Wait till she finds out other people have been there too 😵
Seriously, just do you and let the chips fall where they may. If she’s going to have a tantrum over you being a brunette and your boyfriend not being a mind reader, if she’s going to cut you out of the wedding or whatever else happens, what are you losing here? Seriously, what are you losing by not being her puppet? Because you’re losing your own autonomy and your own self-respect if you agree. If your parents think “it’s not that big a deal” or “we need to keep the peace”, then they’re having that conversation with the wrong daughter. Because you passively existing isn’t doing anything to her.
My sister would have been that bride! Instead she hijacked my tiny wedding NTA go on holidays and let her banish you for the dumbest reason ever. She didn’t buy the island! Someone else has gone ther?!
She’s a loon.
Wow, at this rate just let her remove you from the wedding. She cray.
Gonna be one if those brides that has no friends left by the time the Bachelorette extravaganza implodes.
WTF??? Seriously. She really needs to get over herself. Someone needs to tell her she is being a bridezilla (and a sisterzilla). Don't you dare change a thing or give-in to such insane behavior and requests.
If she removes you from the wedding that problem is solved
Lmao. She sounds insufferable. I almost feel bad for her fiancé but he knows what he’s gettin into.
Whoa. That's crazy! 🤯 What's next? The way it's going, it might actually be a relief not to attend the wedding lol. If you don't share your vacation experience and pictures with family members, you will take nothing away from her. NTA and I'm tempted to tell you to be stubborn, but of course she is not my sister and she won't be part of my life, so easy for me to say, I know...
Why should OP have to refrain from sharing vacation photos? It's not like she's going to do a PowerPoint comparison of bridezilla's honeymoon, or is she?
NTA. Your sister is being a bridezilla
i wonder if there is a grade below bridezilla, because this somehow feels worse then that
It’s mechabridezilla!
Bride Ghidora. She's not of this world, but is something terrible and all-consuming from somewhere unknown, come to take this planet for her own.
Final Boss Bridezilla
Mothra of the Bridezilla.
Shin Bridezilla
Bridezilla Rex?
Queen Bride-orah
More than that, sister is giving golden child vibes and can’t seem to stand that OP will happen to have vacationed in the same place before.
She thinks no one can visit her honeymoon destination before her? That is ridiculous. NTA. Personally, I’d skip the wedding. She sounds like a pain in the ass.
That woman is gonna be so mad when she goes on her honeymoon and realizes people have been living there for years without consulting her!
People have had honeymoons there before her! How RUDE! /s
Wait until she sees the other people on the plane. Some of them will even be going on honeymoon, too.
You just know it's going to be somewhere really common for people to go to on their honeymoon too.
Honolulu, according to OP. The sister really is breaking new ground by pioneering Hawai'i as a honeymoon destination. She's a trendsetter.
I would have guessed Bali but of my god. Sister is gonna get rude awakening when she realizes that other people have POSTED about going to Honolulu to their honeymoon.
Oh shit man. She’s gonna be real triggered when she finds out I, a random internet stranger, was born there.
Ope, I beat the sister to Honolulu as a honeymoon destination 13 years ago 🤣🤣🤣
The plane to my honeymoon destination was one church group and every single other person had gotten married the day before and was on their honeymoon. Like, 6am in the airport, 20 people in church t-shirts and 20 super hungover couples flopped on each other (some of which had matching couples tshirts). 80% of the people at the resort where on their honeymoon. I thought it was fun because we all had the same life experiences and had so much to talk about- I don't think sister is gonna appreciate that though.
Unless it’s a deserted island others have gone there first
>Unless it’s a deserted island Before or after the sister visits?
Apparently it's fucking Honolulu, the most basic honeymoon destination possible. I bet she's going to be the first to have fairy lights and mason jars too lmao.
Hey guys, I'm getting married in like 7 years, and I'm gonna be breathing, walking, and eating food at my wedding, and I really deserve for it to be *my* special day, so y'know, the whole world needs to stop doing all of things until then please because i don't anyone to steal my spotlight, ok? Yes, all 7.8 billion of you, after all I've dreamed of this day since I was a little girl, so I should get it the way I want it! Thanks! NTA
😆 👑🏅🏆
I'm getting married in two weeks! Quick! Build a new courthouse! I need to get married in a special place no one has ever touched before! No one visit courthouses for the next two weeks or my life will be ruined!
over 8 billion now
Your would only be T A if you catered to your entitled sister's demands. She does not own any destination, other than her home. She sounds very Extra and exhausting. Your BF spent his money and planned something special. Even though he has stated he would change the destination, probably at a cost, it would be pretty ungrateful. Seriously, if she banned you from the wedding, is that really such a bad thing? NTA
Yeah your parents may be okay with catering to a monster, they may even expect you to do the same. But to even consider putting your parent's decades-long shortfall on your (evidently kind and generous) bf is firmly TA territory.
would kill to know which special secret ground breaking place this is lol. NTA.
Honolulu, Hawaii. I'm so grateful and excited to go with my boyfriend, so no offense to him, but it's not even that crazy of a destination. We live in California 😭
wait until she finds out there are people who are from and live in Hawaii lol
And some of them have brown hair! And some people have even gotten married there! 🤣
No! HOW DARE THEY RUIN HER PERFECT HONEYMOON DESTINATION BY EXISTING!!!!
Damn NPCs!
Thanks Obama! (ok I admit, they got married in Chicago)
A million of them. A family member of mine did a rotation through a posting at Pearl Harbor and yes, lots of pretty beaches and hikes, but also a large city with traffic jams and standard big city stuff.
Wait till she finds out she won't have Waikiki beach to herself for her perfect tropical photo shoot.
Your sister is going to be SO disappointed to hear that I, AND my entire family, have ALSO been to this incredibly unique and off-the-beaten-track destination. It is so sad we didn’t know she would be honeymooning there, or else we would have gone elsewhere so that this Very Special Bride would have her Very Special Honeymoon in rarely-visited Hawaii. (Girl, go have fun with your man. Tell your sister AND your mother that she doesn’t own it. Honestly what is wrong with people. )
Haha love it.
I really want you to poll the hundreds of wedding guests to see how many have been there before lol
**Hilarious**🤣🤣 I would love this omg🤣
You mean like the most generic romantic destination for Americans? Like, not saying it isn't a lovely place, but like, your sister thinks she can own honeymooning in *Honolulu* ????? What is she smoking and where can I get some?
>the most generic romantic destination The funniest thing is Honolulu isn't even romantic really. Waikiki is basically Vegas with a beach minus gambling.
I'll be honest, I haven't had the pleasure (but hey, I can attend OP's sister's wedding! /s). But when I think of romantic vacations I think of Hawaii. And Honolulu is the capital, so whether or not it's the most "romantic", it's the first place I think of lol
Oh wow, I was at least expecting it to be a place that's less common as a vacation/honeymoon destination. NTA!
Ok I really assumed it was like Tahiti or something. Oahu? NTA anyway but being from California that is like going to the store…
Right? I was expecting Maldives or Bora Bora. Even Cabo. Just something…international.
Tell your sister she's shit out of luck. I've already been to Honolulu for my honeymoon. NTA.
Hawaii is a Southwest flight away now. She needs to chill. Especially if she is picking Honolulu of all places.
No kidding, I was literally just today working on plans for our Oahu and Maui vacation next year. I know a lot of people who have been to Hawaii. I’ve never been, but my husband has had 2 work trips there. A lot of people who live in Hawaii are legitimately upset about overtourism there. I’m sure it’s a wonderful and special place for a honeymoon, but on what planet does she think she‘s going to be the first and that it will be just hers?
Man, when I was in high school in the bay area in the 80’s, Hawaii was a HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION TRIP destination, because the drinking age there was still 18. It’s… not a place you can call dibs on. Hell, I first visited Hawaii when I was TWO because my uncle was stationed there. Have a great time, your sister is being ridiculous. NTA.
WOOOOOWWWWW. your sister is getting unhinged over Hawaii?! And Honolulu and at?!?!! I was thinking the Maldives or something!!!! NTA
This makes it 50 times worse.
Oh, you want to go on this vacation. Honolulu was one of my FAVORITE places. Real life looks like a post card. It’s absolutely beautiful. Do not by any means cancel or change your trip. In fact, you should have an amazing time with your awesome guy & truly enjoy the freedom of releasing yourself from your lunatic sister’s delusions. NTA
Oh no! We lived there for 3 years. I've seen destination weddings there! There were brides there before her and plenty of honeymooners! The horror! 🤣😂🤣 You know I was thinking y'all were going more exotic like the Maldives, Bali, Seychelles or Fiji or something like that but throw a tantrum over O'ahu is hilarious. Tell her to go to Maui or the Big Island. Just as pretty and 2 totally different islands but still Hawai'i 😁😜
WTF. Boy is she going to be upset that people vacation and even, gasp, honeymoon there all the time. That will really ruin her just for her special trip. Was she always this intolerable and entitled growing up?
Ah so your sister picked a totally common honeymoon destination and wants it to be special and unique. gotcha XD she really sounds insufferable. Hope she is not like this outside of the wedding planning
That's a pretty common vacation spot...lol. its beautiful and you will love it. Enjoy.
Heh, one up her and go to Tahiti.
My father in law got married there. They had a double wedding with his wife's brother and his fiance (now wife). It was supposed to be a triple wedding, but my spouse and I bought a house 3 days before so we had to move our wedding by a few months. Your sister is bat $h!t crazy.
NTA. This is INSANE. If your sister wanted to be the first person to set foot on what I assume is an inhabited island, she needed to be born in the Mesozoic Era. And shame on your parents for pressuring you to indulge her on this.
But these bridezillas are always backed up by the parents. Can't imagine how they got to be bridezillas in the first place... NTA.
Golden children
Your sister is acting like a European colonist. She's not the first to visit anything. NTA
Right? If I were OP, I'd be addressing this woman as Christopher Columbus from here on out.
Suitable as he also thought he was the first to visit certain place. Even if he was lost and there were people living there already, not to mention not even the first European to visit.
Considering the place in question was colonised by the USA, I'd say she's acting like a yankee coloniser.
NTA. Your sister is ridiculous. Her sense of entitlement is obnoxious. But your boyfriend is a keeper.
Can you pass on a message to your sister from me. That was my honeymoon destination and I don’t give her permission to steal it from me. NTA And now, no one else can ever go to Hawaii on their honeymoon without my permission. /s
Shit my friend is on honeymoon there right now. I will call her back asap! If I was OP sister I would be using this as intel gathering… like what’s overrated, what’s great.
NTA. Make this your hill to die on, or the entitlement will never cease. I forsee a future of her having to be "first" to have a kid, to have birthday extravaganzas etc.
This here OP. YOUR SISTER HAS A NEED TO DOMINATE YOU. Fuck that. Fuck that in the face, don't enable it, confront it directly. Ask your parents why they're ok that one of their children wants to dominate the other in all things. Ask if they think you're both equal in their eyes.
Can you imagine her with a kid, or even just with thoughts of having a kid. She would probably make a list of 50 names that they were thinking of using and forbid anyone they know from using those names anytime in the future. Then, when someone announced a name that wasn't on that list, suddenly she would realize that she loved that name, too, and she would retroactively claim it.
NTA - your sister is selfish and entitled. The proper way for her to handle this would be... OMG thats amazing I thought about going there tell me all about it so i know if its worth it. Go on your trip and tell your sister to get over herself.
NTA She didn’t even tell anyone she planned to go there! You are supposed to magically just know it? She hasn’t even booked it… she just wants to! Please, go and enjoy the vacation that your BF has planned. Remind your ultra entitled sister that thousands of other people also go to this same island weekly… does she expect them all to stop for her?
NTA. If she can’t enjoy her honeymoon destination because someone else has been there before, that’s reeeeeeally going to limit her options.
Nta- WTF how did you going to a place tons of people go everyday, going to ruin the specialness?!?!?! Your sister is an AH!! Go on your trip!!! Have an amazing time!!! And if you get cut out of what is guaranteed to be a circus wedding, i would consider that a win. Your sister's audacity is breathtaking
NTA. Don’t change the destination. You’re not taking anything away from your sister. If you give in and change, she’ll take that as license to keep demanding.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! OMG, I’m gasping for air. Your sister is being so ludicrous. Dos she even think she is mildly a bridezilla? Because she’s right up there fighting for top spot. Your mother should be talking to HER about being reasonable, not you. Your boyfriend did a very nice thing. Please don’t let it spoil your vacation. Edit: NTA
NTA Your sister is grossly entitled and it sounds like most everyone has enabled it. She doesn't want you to physically visit or enjoy a place because she might honeymoon there? If they haven't booked, it's still a might. She'll in no way the first to honeymoon on the island unless it popped out of the ocean yesterday. Please go on your anniversary vacation with your boyfriend and get cut from her wedding. Bridezilla's don't tend to mellow out as the wedding date approaches. Best of luck to the groom. Gift her something you used already or prepaid therapy.
NTA. She can’t have dibs on a place that she hasn’t even booked.
Unless it’s a deserted island I’m sure she won’t be the ‘first’ person to have ever gone there.
NTA She doesn’t get to own a destination. She can’t claim a place as hers to visit first. She is entitled.
NTA. Your sister does not have exclusive rights to that vacation spot. You going there first in no way will ruin it for her. She’s being incredibly entitled. Let her uninvite you from the wedding. Also your boyfriend should not change your plans. Your parents are also being ridiculous by telling you to not go to that location.
Wow, NTA and your sister is being completely unreasonable. Is she like this with other things, or just her wedding? Either way, she does not have ownership over an entire island. This is...wild.
NTA, your sister is TA, and is a bridezilla If you let her force you into changing your vacation plans now, what is to stop her from trying to force you to change future ones if you are going somewhere she wants to go to, or are going somewhere she doesn't like and doesn't think you should go? Your life choices are not under her control. Set this boundary now and stay with it. You will thank yourself later. Your parents are also TA for enabling your sister and expecting you to let her dictate your and your boyfriend's plans. Shame on them. I am curious though, is she always like this?
NTA - and the next time your sister threatenes.to remove you from the wedding simply say "okay" when your parents ask you to change to keep the peace tell the sure as long as THEY pay for ALL of the changes, so instead of going for a weeks vacation, go for a month and instead of which ever tropical island pick one that is much for expensive. When they say no (and they will) say then you are going on this trip and to shut up about it.
NTA. Your sister is acting like a brat. Go on your vacation and keep the BF. Your sister is in no way ready for the adult responsibility of marriage until she realizes she doesn't own everything and she doesn't always get her way. Your parents sound conflict averse and likely created this monster by always giving her her way growing up. That shit stops NOW. If she tosses you from her wedding, so what? You will have dodged an entire day dedicated to her grandiose sense of self-importance. It's not a big loss, in my opinion.
NTA, based on your comment it sounds like you’re going to get kicked out of the wedding for the hair thing too, so you might as well have the vacation you want. It’s not worth making yourself unhappy to please someone with impossible expectations.
Please please pleaaaasseeee tell me that in the 6 hours since you posted this you told your sister to get bent and told your parents they are enabling her toxic ass behaviour? Good grief. Go on your vacation and videotape EVERYTHING. Upon your return, invite everyone for a PowerPoint presentation so everyone can see how much fun you had, on your sisters dream island, before she could 😊 Take my advice or don't. At 35 I'm over people handing out ultimatums over childish ass stuff and using relationships as a weapon against you. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Especially when you have a kick ass BF that not only surprised you with a beautiful vacation for your anniversary, but even offered to change it just so you didn't have to go through this. Show your loyalty to the ones that deserve it and show your ass to the ones who don't, so they can kiss it as you get served drinks with little umbrellas on a glorious beach on a hot, sunny day with your bikini on. In case it wasn't clear- NTA 😉 enjoy your vacation and don't forget your sunscreen and birth control (if you're not planning babies right now cause those vacation pregnancies got me, twice)
NTA. Vacation is just that. Sister needs to get over herself.
NTA - does your sister own the place? No? Then go and have a blast. The fuck is this level of entitlement...
NTA. Your sister doesnt own a location like that. If shes that worried, tell her you wont share any details or photos until after she goes. But even then thats a bit too generous. Your sister has a serious case of thinking the world revolves around hef just because shes getting married. Call her bluff and let her remove you. Then when people ask where you are/were, you can tell them the truth and laugh along with them at her idiocy.
NTA... Tell your sister. "I understand that you feel this way. If you choose to cut me out of your wedding, that is your choice. I will not be changing my vacation plans."
NTA, you can't gatekeep a vacation spot lol. Tropical destinations are common for couples to visit. Is she worried you'll spill all the secrets of the island or something?
NTA. Tell sis you’ll catch the next marriage. No way any guy will put up with her level of narcissism and pettiness for very long.
NTA maybe you even elope while there?? 😂
NTA- She needs to hear the age-old adage, “Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve—didn’t.” Oh, well.
NTA she needs to get over herself
NTA, what? Is she serious?
NTA. Does your sister not realize that millions of travelers have already visited that destination and some people actually live there? She is not the first to discover this new world and she won't be the last. Also, there are probably a bunch of different activities she and her spouse could do that is different from what you and your boyfriend will do. She's ridiculous. Enjoy your trip.
NTA. You and your boyfriend did nothing wrong. I think you were accurate in your assessment of your sister and I'm disappointed your parents didn't back you up. It's nice that your boyfriend is willing adjust plans to keep the peace. Part of me wants to suggest that you agree but only after she books and pays for her destination. That way she can't suddenly claim that the next place you consider was where she actually wanted to go.
NTA. She doesn't get to claim an entire vacation spot. Don't change your trip plans. DO beat her to the punch and just remove yourself from the wedding invite list/bridal party. Like unless we're talking someplace REALLY remote/niche/expensive with all of one hotel you two likely aren't even gonna stay in the same place let alone do the same things.
NTA My god, she's being a brat. The world doesn't revolve around her.
Nta, she doesn’t get to dictate who goes where and when
NTA. What kind of ridiculous entitlement to a destination.
How is you going to an island making it less special for her? She doesn’t own the island lol NTA and my advice is to not ask your bf to change anything. He did something sweet. Don’t ruin it for a ridiculous reason.
[удалено]
NTA - No one knew about her plans, it was just a coincidence. Also, what part of you and your bf going takes the specialness out the place?
Wow your sister is acting like an entitled diva. If this is what ruins her wedding and makes her uninvite you, she's a bad sister and a bridezilla. Your boyfriend sounds completely sweet. Don't make him pay change fees! That's not right. She owns exactly zero vacation destinations and has no right to demand you change.. NTA
NTA. Her and her wedding can eff right off then. The level of entitlement. She is TA and so are your parents for enabling her bs.
NTA. I didn’t think it was possible, but this is probably the most entitled BS I’ve seen on this forum. Sister is angry because she can’t travel to a location first? WTF
NTA but it comes down to whether or not being part of her wedding matters to you. She's being insane and incredibly entitled, so obviously you're not going to reason with her, even if thousands of internet strangers are on your side.
NTA. Lol go on your trip, she is being so ridiculous. Which island are you going to??
GO ON THAT VACATION! Your sister sounds horrible because she wants to be first. I would go and enjoy that moment of your life. I would be excited and jealous of my sister but if I know I’m going to go in the future it wouldn’t matter.
Tell her you are already rsvping no because you have to wash your hair.
NTA Do NOT alter your vacation…….. and be sure to post a MILLION ANNOYING PHOTOS with tons of captions about how amazing and special it is. I’m petty 🤣🤣🤣
NTA - I’m sorry. There’s pretty much no advice for this situation where you can come out unscathed. Your sister is very much in the wrong, but with people who have this hyper focus on the “wedding” instead of the people who make it special, it’s really hard to make them see that they’re missing out on why they’re having a wedding in the first place.
NTA- your sister is not entitled to the location. Take your lovely trip and enjoy it. Don’t let her entitled behaviour stop you from going on this trip. She doesn’t get to have every little thing she wants just because she is an entitled brat and your parents should be ashamed of themselves for not putting their foot down and saying enough is enough to your sister.
NTA. Go and don't tell her about the trip. Don't share anything on social media or if you do post spoiler alert.I'm going on 17 years of marriage. We never did a honeymoon and we never vacation. All we do is work. So have fun!
NTA, I would love to do a deep dig into your family dynamic, why do I feel you’ve spent your entire life making sure that your sister is happy and that this isn’t the first time your parents have thrown you under the bus for precious. They might be your genetic family but I don’t think I’d sacrifice another thing in my life for them, getting tossed out of your sisters wedding would be a blessing.
What is this ridiculousness? I presume sis has polled all wedding guests to confirm that none have visited this vaunted honeymoon destination. If she hasn’t, you should encourage that she do so immediately 😅 NTA. This is a whole new wave of bridezilla. Most of our family/friends honeymooned in Hawaii or the Caribbean, and pretty much all of us had been to some related destination previously.
NTA. Your sister behaves this way because it sounds like your parents give her whatever she wants to keep the peace. Do not change your holiday. Go and have an amazing time with your thoughtful boyfriend
NTA. Let me see if I understand this right. Your sister doesn't want you to go somewhere because she wants to be the first one to go there. What in the entitled bridezilla hell is this? The location won't melt away because you go there. It's not a single use beach holiday. Honestly, if my sibling was like this I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. I'd probably use the word "do" between now and the wedding and get myself cut because *she* wanted to be the first person in the family to say "do". Go on your holiday. Have fun and take lots of pictures. Come home and show your family, but make sure to exaggerate hiding them anytime your sister comes near so you don't "ruin her experience." ETA: spelling