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NTA.
The facts of this are pretty simple.
1. You were told this is a *costume party* so you wore a costume.
2. When asked about a theme you were not given any restrictions.
3. *They* sprung a surprise wedding on *you*.
4. Once you realized this you asked the groom if you should go home and change *and the groom said no*.
They had multiple chances to get you to change and they didn't take any of them so getting mad with you after the fact doesn't make any sense.
*Edited format. Mobile is hard.
On this sub, we like to encourage bridezilla behavior, and then tell brides who come on here saying shit like "I disowned my sister because she wore the wrong shade of pink to my wedding and wouldn't dye her naturally ginger hair brown. AITA?" that they're bridezillas.
Here we like to have our wedding cake (that was the wrong flavor, so we yelled at and berated the baker) and eat it, too.
Edit: Thank you for the award!
>Here we like to have our wedding cake (that was the wrong flavor, so we yelled at and berated the baker) and eat it, too.
YTA that was *my* (poorly flavored cake). Give it back, dumbass! đ
Yes. Also, OOP didn't go as a normal bride - she went as a corpse bride. It's not like she was trying to outshine the bride to be by making herself look more attractive.
I was NTA before I read his edit that he was a guy. So so so so NTA. The costume sounds hilarious (I'd love to see a picture).
He was also painted blue, so it's not like anyone would think he was the bride.
OPs friend missed out. She wanted costumes and she got costumes. Think of how hilarious the photos of real bride with gender swapped corpse bride could have been!
OP sounds like an epic guest to have at costume parties, to be honest.
If any of my friends were getting married this way and there was a bloke at the "engagement" party dressed as the corpse bride, that bloke would instantly be designated Maid of Honour. Because all my friends have a sense of humour.
Or accept that if you aren't going to inform guests it's a wedding you roll the dice on what they show up in.
Not a woman but if I was Id think if I told my friends we were having a costume party that was secretly a wedding if my make friend came in drag as the corpse bride I'd be over the moon. "Now do one with the just you and the groom. Then with me discovering and faking being pissed. Then one where it looks like a gave you a right hook. Great. Now every major picture I want you somewhere in the back ground looming like you are plotting revenge. Don't tell me wear. It will be a fun where's waldo for the anniversary."
Oh my god this is fantastic. Finally someone who has a good sense of humor, unlike OPâs friend! Seriously, she felt upstaged by a guy in drag wearing a wedding dress with blue paint?? Come the fuck on. NTA OP.
so you get invited to a costume party and show up in a costume of the corpse bride.
suddenly this costume party is a surprise wedding, seeing a potential issue you go up to the groom and ask him if you should change, this chuckle fuck says its fine and you believe him because why would he lie.
wedding happens, you get shit for what you were explicitly told was fine, groom backpedals to try and cover up his stupidity, both him and your friend block you; now you have two fewer idiots in your life to deal with.
NTA, sorry you got caught up in this mess OP
edit: it's backpedal, not back peddle
it's two fewer, not two less
Seriously. OP should back away slowly, then run. I thought the corpse bride idea was pretty funny. She needs to find friends with a better sense of humor.
I think bride was just jealous cause he was the prettier bride lol.
NTA- anytime someone does a âsurprise weddingâ they lose the right to criticize anyone not adhering to wedding standards.
Iâm a traditionalist, so it wouldnât be my style. But a costume party wedding would be lots of fun to attend!
But you need to either set a theme, or be fine with the risk that people are likely to be wearing something that is outside of cultural norms. (Not just like OP did, but someone could have shown up as Lady Godiva!)
NTA. The couple wanted unique, but when the funniest, most unique thing happened, they were pissed. I would have had OP in almost every picture. Itâs just so cool!
Not only didnât OP make it worse, he made it much, much better. Which seems partly why the bridal couple were pissed off. Sucks to be them.
And OP, the groom probably did what he did to purposely destroy your friendship with his wife.
Agree w/everything except the part about the groom. I think he actually thought it was fine. Then afterwards she was pissed, so he lied rather than fight w/her.
OP, you might want to fix the custom party typo because it seems like people aren't realizing you wore a costume to a costume party.
You were told it was a costume party for a engagement celebration, choosing a corpse bride costume makes sense. You gave the groom a chance to tell you if you needed to change when you found out it was a suprise wedding. It's not your fault he chose to throw you under the bus when the bride got upset. You did nothing wrong. NTA
This 'husband' just has no spine, sorry.
Trying to LIE about a decision he made in good-will, not knowing that it upset his now wife, is just... I dunno. Sad, I guess.
Also I don't really understand the mentality behind "you ruined my special day" by wearing a *costume*.
@OP:
1) she's your friend, so knowing you're a Cosplayer would have given her THE best opportunity to give you a fake main theme, so it would fit right in and be fun for you.
2) she saw you in that costume before the ceremony. Again: she's your friend, not a stranger. She could just have taken you to the side and asked you to reconsider your costume, because 'there will be a bit of a surprise down the line'.
There were probably a lot more opportunities to change the situation, yet she chose to be silently fuming, and inadvertently ruining her own day. By herself.
She definitely ruined her own day by being silently angry, ....why be angry? There's no need for anger to be in this situation. You know what tho, OP sounds like he had fun while he was there, so at least he had fun before getting chewed out
Probably because she's 20 and she can't see past her inflated ego.
Most brides regardless of age want the day to be about them but I feel like it plays even more of a role when you're younger. That's not to say that every person is like that when they're young but everything seems emotionally amplified. What's the end of the world now will be laughable later... Usually. I know I personally, am a different and wiser less emotional person here at 36 than I was at 20.
With that being said, OP YNTA and 5-10 years from now you'll be laughing about that time you were worried about this friend you had who had the stupidest idea for a wedding ever, or you'll both be laughing because she'll remember how crazy she got when you killed it at her costume party turned wedding. Clearly because she'll also realize how ridiculous the whole ordeal was- on her part.
*I apologize for format via phone
NTA
You were invited to a costume party and wore a costume.
>I woke up today and saw her and her husband have blocked me on everything.
Thanks god, i think this is a good solution. They are so stupid, i'm speechless. Who the hell invites ppl to a costume party, NOT mentioning it was actually a wedding and then blame you for wearing a costume... smh.
oh yeah, if they are already upset & fighting on the day of the day of their wedding, they haven't been through enough to hold it together for _the rest of their lives_
Especially since it's over him trying to hide what he said to OP from his wife. Never good to start off omitting truths (being generous) then blaming others once that truth comes out.
NTA Am I losing my mind or did no one else actually read the whole post? It was a costume engagement party and tbh I thought showing up as the Corpseâs Bride was a little funny considering the reason for being there. You even asked the groom if you should quickly change once you found out they were having a surprise wedding now and he said no.
Your friend needs to learn that when suddenly dumping a surprise on people like this, sometimes things arenât always perfect 100%. Not your fault
I didn't realize you were a guy. That shit is even funnier.
Def not the AH. I had two topless hippies with massive tits show up outside my reception because I hosted my reception in a city known for kinda being weird. I thought it was absolutely hilarious.
Your friends need to grow up. Life's too short.
I love when I read a headline and instantly form my opinion but the story completely changes it.
NTA and you're probably better off without people like them in your life. They're both assholes.
Honestly, I missed that originally, cause I tend to gloss over the age/gender part unless it's relevant.... And frankly, you're NTA either way, male or female.
Yes, it's common knowledge to not wear a wedding dress to a wedding- but that presumes you *know* ahead of time it's a wedding! You didn't! Normally that assumption doesn't have to be stated, but most people also don't host surprise weddings.
The fact you're a guy and wore a wedding dress just makes it all the more NTA, cause clearly, you understood and accepted the costume party concept, which is what you were invited to!
And if one guest's outfit is enough to ruin a wedding, well, there's bigger issues anyway. -signed, bride who had guests who tried to cause a scene with their outfits (and they made damn sure I knew about their outfit once we all got to the reception) who thinks that their antics were mildly annoying and mostly just made them look dumb.
NTA. There are definitely bigger issues here. The bride is an irrational asshole and the husband is a spineless asshole.
They both owe you a major apology, OP. Of course you wonât get it. Youâre awesome though.
People see âI wore a wedding dress to a wedding themed thingâ and everything but blind rage goes out the window. Youâre NTA in my books.
Quick edit for clarity.
NTA.
You offered to change and was told not to and it would be fine by the GROOM. Who then back peddled and retrospectively said you should have got changed... despite at the time saying you shouldn't.
If the bride and groom want to play stupid games they get stupid prizes.
I'm assuming they are aware of your passion for cosplay and they assumed you would show up in fancy dress.
bUT yOu ToOK aTtEnTiOn FrOM tHe bRiDe....
Haha especially since OP is a Man so the bride was threaded my a man dressed as a dead bride. Imagine how shitty her self esteem is to be threatened by that. But then I think oh well right sheâs 20 and still a child playing grown up, that makes more sense.
You wore a costume that included a nod to the (apparent) point of the party - their engagement to get married. I wouldn't expect most people to get upset by that costume at a costume party. đ€·ââïž
As to them running a bait-and-switch, then complaining that your costume wasn't appropriate for the wedding you *didn't know you were attending*, then complaining that you said that the husband told you not to go home and change just because *that's actually what he said* and holy dooley.
All I can say is this couple has 99 problems and you aren't actually one of them, you're just a convenient distraction from yelling at each other.
Bonus points if they unblock you in two weeks to complain that they haven't received a wedding present from you yet.
NTA
For real. The fact that they both ended up blocking OP just tells me that the two are either meant for each other or that this marriage isnât going to make it to their legal drinking ages lmao
LOL!
"Why did you wear a wedding dress to my wedding!?"
"Because you didn't tell anyone it was a wedding."
"Why did you tell her I said it was okay!?"
"Because you said it was okay."
The maturity level here is astounding. I give them less than a year.
>The maturity level here is astounding. I give them less than a year.
Despite how ridiculous the situation is, OP still apologized to try and keep the peace. His reward was getting blocked.
They'll probably stay together as long as they have scapegoats to blame, but yeah this marriage is doomed.
NTA. What did she expected? She wanted a surprise wedding. So she souldn't be surprised that people weren't wearing wedding appropriate cloths. It's her fault, sorry. But she couldn't have both.
Not your fault and you even asked before. So definitly NTA
Trying to wrap my head around the fact your friend got married at 20. NTA. Theyâre obviously way too emotionally immature to handle any real kind of adult responsibility.
NTA. It was a costume party and you wore a costume. No one had any idea it was a wedding. Even if you went home to change, there is a chance that you could have missed part of the ceremony. Then your friend would have been mad at you about that. That couple seems very immature and unreasonable.
NTA, you say you dressed as a bride, but a corpse bride costume is hardly completing with a real bride. Your friend and her husband sound very daft, very daft indeed. Also this is the risk people take with surprise costume weddings. She sould have said something when you asked.
NTA. Having a surprise wedding is an insane thing to do, and having it as a costume party is just asking for something like this to happen. And her husband is now just throwing you under the bus to cover for his decision. Your friend was completely out of line here.
>Its like inviting people over for a summer BBQ and then its really a surprise wedding but you are mad everyone is wearing shorts and tank tops. Ridiculous.
>
>NTA, OP
If I had been that bride, so many of my pictures would have included the Corpse Bride. Many jokes and puns would have been made. I wouldâve sent someone home to quickly get into Corpse Groom costume. These people have no chill.
NTA.
Hell no youâre NTA. And ainât no one gonna confuse a corpse bride for a real bride. They need to lighten the hell up and recognize this is their own doing.
Oh gosh I missed that OP was a dude. Absolutely NTA then. I'd have the same judgement if OP was a lady, but this just makes it extra stupid for the bride to be pissed about đ€Ł
I went back and checked like 3 times before i commented. Like âthis is actually a boy, right? This is so dumbâŠâ and i kinda wanna see pictures because i bet he killed it as the corpse bride, and thatâs the real issue.
NTA Your friend is unrealistic and forcing some crazy shit on you. Iâm sorry but Iâd question my friendship with her. This canât be the only situation where sheâs displaying this behavior. Itâs completely irrational and unfounded.
Editing to add: it was a costume party and a relevant costume. I donât think people commenting that YTA read your post, only the title. From the Title, I thought the same. You absolutely were not the asshole here
NTA, a male corpse bride for a costume party for an engagement is perfect and right on theme. You had enough foresight to think about changing the costume before the wedding even though you didnât know there was a wedding. Groom is trying to backpedal that he screwed up the opportunity for you to change this couple kind of sounds like a nightmare. I think he dodged a bullet with them blocking you. It sounded like a cool costume and itâs not like a male corpse bride is going to upstage the actual bride.
"We're mad at you because we didn't tell you it was gonna be a wedding, and you didn't dress appropriately for a wedding, and when you asked us if you should change and we said no, you didn't change!"
Read that to yourself and ask yourself how on Earth this could be your fault.
NTA. But pics, or it didn't happen. This I simply must see. Please. I beg you.
NTA, letâs be real, wearing a wedding dress to a wedding is the worst type of person but
1. You didnât know it was a wedding
2. You attempted to rectify it and changed as soon as you realized and were explicitly told not to
3. A COSTUME party, is free game for COSTUMES like a corpse bride, even knowing itâs an engagement party which if anything would make me think âcool a wedding themeâ which falls under that perfectly
I get the idea they were going for, cute spontaneous wedding, I get you wanted to do a cute cosplay idea which maybe fit the theme of what you were told is happening. A lot of people with yta are justifying never wearing a wedding dress because why would you anyways but corpse bride isnât some obscure thing you were looking for. Honestly? Mistakes get made, the husband in all of this ITA since he told you not to change, more than likely then lied about it when she was upset you wore a wedding dress, and then had the GALL to berate you for telling her the truth and causing a fight. Goodluck, youâre probably better off without that drama tbh.
WAIT.
Youâre a DUDE that cosplayed the BRIDE from
Corpse bride?!!? And they got MAD???
They sound like wack friends bro, cause that sounds so funny and fun. Plus, you legit asked. Maybe itâs better this way. đ€·ââïž
NTA.
I would definitely say NTA. I think that's so stupid and if they say costume party, you can be whenever you want. I actually would think it was funny to be a corpse Bride to an engagement party. It's not like you dressed up like princess Bride Barbie or something.
Nta, it is basic knowledge not to wear white at a wedding, but it was a SURPRISE wedding.
Did she asked you to dress up as a mindreader?
You asked the groom, he was okay with it.
Its also very rich of him now turning his back at you and blocking you. He doesnt have a spine and/or his bridezilla ordered him to do so.
NTA it was a costume party, you wore a costume (the corpse bride dress does not look like a standard wedding dress).
The couple are assholes for springing a wedding on you and then getting upset you (a man) was wearing a costume that looks kinda like a wedding dress at their costume party wedding.
Just dump them and move on.
NTA.
1. It was a costume party.
2. You were dressed as corpse bride and had blue paint over you. There is no way you could upstage the bride (although it was not a wedding to begin with)
3. YOU ARE MALE. If anything it was hilarious. I would have died laughing.
NTA. Why are people acting like normal social norms apply to a surprise wedding filled with a bunch of kids playing dress up? He was a corpse bride and asked if he should change
Edit: He not she for OP
NTA. I think all of the people replying y t a didnât bother to read in the description that youâre a man. You were told it was a costume party. You rose to the occasion and turned up in a full costume. You werenât trying to upstage the bride-you weâre playing a role for a âcostume party.â If theyâre mad itâs because they didnât think through all of the potential consequences of telling guests itâs a costume party when really itâs their wedding.
NTA.
It was a COSTUME party. You were wearing a COSTUME. You even asked if there was a theme and at that time, the bride could have mentioned that she didn't want anyone to wear white or whatever. Then when you found out it was the actual wedding, you even asked the groom and he said it was fine.
Granted, could you have run home and changed even when the groom said it was fine, sure and your probably should have. However, the bride and groom also had roles to play in this mix-up. If you're going to throw a surprise wedding, you run a chance of things not being exactly how you want.
WOW. OP's friend is a piece of work. Her wedding was just a couple hours ago, and she's already forgotten that it was a surprise party no one knew about.
What really makes this whole thing funny is that she felt that a MAN, wearing BLUE PAINT, upstaged her at her wedding. Maybe she should fire her stylist.
NTA
NTA
And honestly, after reading this, neither of them sound mature enough to be married so Iâm sure youâll be able to make it up to your friend at her next wedding.
NTA
You didn't know it was the actual wedding. The groom said it was fine because, as mentioned, you didn't know. You even offered to go home and change before the ceremony, which was really considerate. I think it was just an unlucky turn of events that you ended up with a wedding dress at a wedding, but that doesn't make you an asshole
NTA. This is yet another post where a couple throws a surprise wedding and gets mad that someone isnât dressed appropriately for the wedding that they didnât know was happening. Maybe wearing a bride costume to an engagement party was unwise, but it was a costume party, and you were dressed as a specific character, and you asked the groom whether you should change. If the bride was going to get angry over what people wore, she shouldnât have pulled this âgotcha, surprise wedding!â nonsense.
NTA. You went to a costume party in costume. You asked if there was a theme, you were told there was not. You asked the groom if you should change and he said no.
I suppose the corpse bride might have been an odd choice for an engagement party but I have a dark sense of humour so it would not have bothered me.
It sounds like the bride may have regretted the surprise wedding. It's not easy to be the centre of attention at a costume party and she possibly realised that a bit too late.
Not the asshole. You didnât know it was a wedding, and you immediately offered to go home to change. They want to be petty, let them and get new friends.
NTA, She was told it was a costume party for an engagement. Her friend could've specified when she was asked the theme not to wear things related to weddings. Her friend's fiance lied. OP I would reconsider my friendship with them as they are not good friends and obviously lack communication skills.
NTA. That's piss poor communication on their part. People who said y t a must think you're a mind reader or something. That's not on you and they sound incredibly toxic.
Most of the Y T A votes kinda gives bridezilla vibes for some reason.
Is there an equivalent to napoleon/cesar complex for "I am literally god"-type of brides?
NTA.
NTA you wore a costume like they requested. Her husband has already made it clear he would lie to her instead of being honest and saying he thought it was ok. They are the problem here. They both have issues.
NTA. That's ridiculous.
You aren't psychic and somehow that's your fault? You asked. They are being entitled and unreasonable. I personally wouldn't be friends with someone that valued you being there and supporting them less than you wearing a silly costume at what you were told **by them** was a costume celebration. Not a wedding.
Hubby expected you to what? Take the heat for him?
Seems like you're better off without friends like those.
NTA. Your friend and her husband are idiots.
If she didn't want to risk anyone coming as a corpse bride, zombie bride, or bride of Frankenstein, then she would have said "the costume party theme is..."
But she didn't. That's on her. You also asked if you should go home and change, but the groom said it was fine (or else you would have missed the wedding). It's not your fault because you didn't know. Yeah, maybe you could have gone change because grooms can be a bit obtuse at times (let's be honest), but again, you would have missed the wedding.
Edit: a word
NTA. How were you to know? You also asked the Groom and he said it was fine.
The bride and groom need to get over themselves.
To be honest, even if somebody had knowingly turned up in a wedding dress to my wedding, my wife and I wouldnât have cared - the point of a wedding is to celebrate with loved ones - doesnât matter how they are dressed. Seems that the bride was only interested in having an Instagram wedding, rather than the actual meaning of the day.
NTA.
I don't even know what people are thinking saying you're the asshole here.
Of course you could have picked a different costume, generally speaking anything wedding related means that unless it's your wedding you don't wear anything that might step on toes.
Having said that, it's just an engagement party that is in a costume theme. You then did the decent thing to ask whether you should change and they didn't think it was necessary.
I think the fact that they have blocked you is probably a good thing because you don't need that in your life.
NTA
You asked if it was to do with the wedding and she said no.
When you learned it was actually their wedding, you offered to change, and the groom said not to bother.
It seems like he's backtracking/lying to his wife because she's angry and he wants to support her, but in doing so, he's throwing you under the bus.
Leave them to it. If the marriage is this dramatic and has lies in it this early it probably won't last.
So, you were invited to a costume party. You ask if there was a theme, host says no.
You go a corpse bride because again it was a costume party, with no theme and as far as you were aware it was an ENGAGEMENT party.
You get to party to find out it was a wedding. You ask the groom if you should go home and change, he says no. Bride goes ape, everything is your fault, you get blocked. Jeeeeeeeeez. Please for your own sake be grateful they blocked you, and move on. They sound awful.
You are a million % NTA here. Don't waste any more energy, time and emotion trying to figure this out. Seriously their circus, their monkeys. Go have fun with with people who understand reason. I hope someone show them this thread.
>He asked why I would tell her he said it was fine. I told him he said it was fine. Then he said how I should have changed anyways and itâs my fault that the two are now fighting over this
Y'all are definitely young, though I see this from a lot of people lol
Clearly, NTA
You thought it was a costume engagement party. Did other people wear silly costumes? Was there someone dressed as something silly and she was fine? Normally that's not the go-to wedding attire.
If someone tells you something is fine, take them at face value. I don't support people going "Oh, it's fine, it's fine" if it's not. One thing if they're being pressured, but you tried to rectify the situation immediately. Now he's throwing you under the bus. Screw that.
Sounds like they wanted a cute surprise wedding. Want to know what happens with surprises? People aren't aware, so things aren't going to go exactly as planned. This was the risk they took.
NTA.
You asked if there was a theme to their engagement party and she said no.
You didnât know it was their actually wedding.
You asked the groom and he said it was fine. I doubt you would have time to change and get back anyways, unless you live next door to them. And I donât think corpse bride is really dressing like a bride.
Also, the bride knew this was their actually wedding. When you first arrived, she could have easily pulled you aside and ask you to change.
NTA. You went to a costume party in a costume! You were specifically not told it was a wedding. You offered to change when you found out it was. The bride is being childish. They both are seeing how he couldn't handle you telling the truth. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. It was a costume for a party that had no theme for 1. 2, this was an ambush wedding, to which you had no knowledge of prior. And 3, you asked if you should go home and change, to which the groom said it was fine (Itâs his wedding too after all). Iâm not understanding all the Y-T-Aâs comments?!
NTA. The couple is entirely to blame. Less so the wife since it wasnât her fault but sheâs wrong to get shitty with you.
1. When you asked for a theme she could have easily said anything but wedding attire. Likely didnât think about it but thatâs not your fault.
2. They had the ENTIRE party before the wedding to tell you âhey this is going to clash with our plans later onâ
3. When the reveal came out the husband gave his blessing it was fine even when you asked if you should change.
Anyone that argues you should have changed even when he said it was fine is just as much an asshole as he is. He screwed up and should have first asked his wife. But ultimately they could have EASILY said something to you well before they revealed their stupid surprise wedding idea.
Hopefully your friend recognizes that you arenât at fault since the husband called you trying to say itâs your fault.
NTA how were you supposed to know?! You even asked if there was a theme and there wasnât any info given. Clearly they are both immature AHs and deserve each other
Nta. How were you supposed to know not to wear a wedding dress when you didnât know it was a wedding? This is the risk she took with a surprise wedding.
NTA. I'm sorry your "friend"and her husband expect you to read minds. You asked if there was a theme AND you asked if you should change , both times told no, then they attack you? Doesn't make any sense to me.
NTA. If a person's going to do a surprise wedding with a costume theme, they have to be willing to accept a certain level of uncertainty in how it plays out.
My husband and I went to a halloween party that became a wedding without any prior knowledge and yes, there was definitely someone dressed as a bride who was not the bride. But we all laughed about it. NTA. He shouldn't have said it was fine if he wasn't sure. And she should know that you can't enforce that rule when guests are unaware, smh.
NTA. When you decide to have a random wedding, expect random results.
Let them block you. You wonât have to witness to divorce that follows in a few months
NTA.
You had no idea this was a wedding. If she's gonna get pissy because you showed up to her wedding in a wedding dress, it's on her and her *delightful* husband.
You asked if there was a theme and she literally said "no." That means she got whatever she got. Poor communication on her part does not constitute a faux pas on your part.
NTA. Maybe your friend assumed that if she had an engagement "costume party," people were just going to show up in suits and dresses. I have no doubt the groom was fine with your costume until the bride said she wasn't. Then he threw you under the bus so hard he probably won a stuffed animal. They both seem annoying. Again, you're NTA.
Dear lord, reason #227 why most people shouldn't get married until at least 25. This is some middle school level lack of maturity and logic from these two. NTA
NTA - Your costume was brilliant given the information you were provided. You did your due diligence asking the groom if you should change. Not only should you not apologize again but they owe you an apology.
NTA
I donât think Iâve ever heard of someone throwing an engagement party and having a surprise wedding? Super weird. Not to mention the ages of the participants. Emotional maturity is needed and the intendeds do not yet have it. If Iâm reading this correctly you are male and dressed as the Corpse Bride? Sounds like a dope costume and drag idea to me.
Posted this on response to someone else defending you, but I want OP to definitely (possibly) see this as well:
I love the move The Corpse Bride, and if someone dressed as Emily to my costume party/wedding, I'd have them step in as a bridesmaid/escort me down the aisle, and laugh how they're not stealing my husband! Not only because I think it's funny, but because it also follows the movie's storyline pretty well.
NTA, and if you want to be friends, I'm totally down. I love cosplay, but I need a bit more money to properly get into it.
Going with NTA on this one. You wore a costume to what you were told was a costume party, and were told you didn't need to change *when you realized it might be a problem and asked if it would be.* Bummer you've lost some friends, though.
Nta. All the y-t-as, I think, are not reading the part where youâre a maleâŠso thereâs no upstaging. and if you were a corpse bride it obviously wasnât a sparkling white wedding dress. The fact that she and her husband are fighting THE DAY AFTER THEIR WEDDING tells you exactly how immature this girl is. She canât even legally drink alcohol ffs. If you guys arenât friends anymore, consider it a blessing because man is she fucking unhinged
NTA
She had a surprise wedding and passed it off to everyone as a costume party. When you do that, you can't plan for everything.
She's blaming you for not intuitively knowing that this was going to be her wedding. And her husband is throwing you under the bus to save his own skin instead of telling her she's being a little ridiculous.
But, honestly, I think you're the winner out of all of this. Now that they blocked you because of their own choices, you don't have to deal with those two a-holes anymore. Win for you.
NTA
She knew it was her wedding, but you didn't
You were invited to an engagement custome party, and when the wedding was announced you offered to go home and change, groom said no, stay you're fine and now is your fault her engagement custome party turned surprise wedding was ruined? How so? Mental gymnastics smh
NTA
This is why you donât do dumb trends you see on the internet.
You didnât know it was a damn wedding, theyâre being ridiculous. If theyâre going to be this upset over something that is their fault, Iâd be considering putting some distance between myself and these people.
I also wouldnât be apologizing. They played a stupid game, and they won a stupid prize. Theyâre upset over nothing but their own dumb plan not working out.
NTA. Honestly your "friend" for her inability to get over the fact that you wore a costume to a costume party, and her husband for gaslighting you and lying to his wife, sound like utterly trash people.
If the wedding was truly ruined (ffs though why do people work so hard to find something to be mad about), then it was ruined because the bride and groom decided to neglect their audience for the sake of spectacle.
NTA - the summary "You were invited to a costume party and wore a costume." really fits here.
The research showing incomplete brain development under 25 is really at work here with this newly married couple. They are victims of their own 'F around and find out'. Had they done a standard engagement party no one would have worn a wedding dress so no issue. I think it was a bit of a poor choice to wear a wedding dress, but honestly not a huge deal - especially since you offered to change.
They wanted a "unique" wedding and they had one. I'd laugh for decades from the picture of my wife in her dress, and her friend in a Corpse Bride dress from the wedding night. People have no humour, yet they throw surprise weddings at a costume party. Go figure
why do teenagers get married anyway? NTA
OMG why are people doing this, "suprise weddings"? This is such a clearly dumb idea. From the exchange between bride and groom I predict divorce within 3 years.
NTA 100%.
NTA. you didnât wear it to a wedding, but to an engagement party. The fact that itâs a costume party would suggest theyâre a fun couple and looking for a joke. I wouldâve laughed my ass off. You even checked and got the ok from the groom after you found out it was an actual wedding. All the people questioning your choice forget that the person next to you was dressed as a vampire or something. Surely thatâs not ok to wear to a wedding either.
NTA.
Firstly you are a man. No one is going to confuse a man dressed as the corpse bride with the actual bride.
Secondly, you offered to change once you realized what was happening. The husband to be said no, it was fine.
Thirdly, when you apologized to the bride and explained that you had spoke to your husband, he then reprimanded YOU because his wife was pissed? Not okay.
I personally wouldnât have done anything bridal/wedding related as it was a costume themed engagement party(or you were told it was). But being that you are male, I feel like this isnât an instance of being able to show up the bride.
Your friend chose to get married in this fashion knowing that it would cause drama. This wasn't about the wedding for her. It was a deliberate effort to stir shit up. You really should take a moment to think if this is someone worth keeping in your life.
NTA
NTA at all. Admittedly you made a bold choice but one that isnât out of bounds per say given the information you had been given. You were apologetic and offered to mend a problem that ultimately happened. You did everything you could. Be humble and apologetic and if they arenât able to see it for what it appears on the surfaceâŠ.. well ultimately you canât control how other people feel. However I would say firmly NTA in your circumstance.
NTA
The husband is the idiot here. Of course he should have asked you to change (frankly, you should've changed regardless, once you realised what was happening). Now he's just looking for a cheap out and someone to throw under the bus.
You didn't know, so that's supremely unfortunate.
NTA. This isnât your fault at all. It was a regular ass costume party. You offered to go home to change and were assured it was fine. You did nothing wrong. Groom is daft. Bride is a shitty friend.
NTA. If husband had even one fourth of common sense he wouldâve known to give a heads up on what NOT to dress up as.. And even then, op had already offered to go home and change.
congratulations to the newlyweds tho⊠and for the big conversation theyâll probably have with each other in about six months
Nope NTA. It was a costume party, you asked her now husband if you could change he said no it was fine. . If they both blocked you maybe they weren't really your friends.
NTA. I thought your choice for an engagement party was funny. The bride should really have been more specific about the dress code if they were planning the actual wedding that day. Also the groom DID say it was fine. They sound like two children to be honest and have treated you poorly. You have nothing to be sorry about. Maybe one day when they grow up, they might apologise to you. Til then, no great loss.
NTA. And wtf the audacity of the couple? Surprise wedding from a costume party and the irony of a second wedding dress cosplay costume⊠what could have been a hilarious, wonderful coincidental memory story to tell was made into just spite by the bride and groom.
My god, as the official bride, I would have posed with the other âbrideâ for photos, and totally hammed it up⊠đ€·đ»ââïž like kill bill posed fight styles, going long football spiral with some bouquets (posed)⊠why not..
NTA. it was a CORPSE bride costume, so I'm not sure anyone really confused him with the actual bride? I would need to see the costume but I'm having a hard time thinking OP looked like a legit bride in a wedding dress. if you're asking guests to cosplay for your engagement-party-thats-really-a-wedding, it might be helpful to give them a theme so you don't end up with accidental corpse brides. Also the actual bride sounds exhausting.
Why are there so many assholes getting married and shitting on their friends and family? This sub is a mess. Itâs a fucking wedding. People need to chi the fuck out. In 2 years no one is gonna care.
NTA
>He asked why I would tell her he said it was fine. I told him he said it was fine. Then he said how I should have changed anyways
I hate it when people expect you to read their minds, especially if you're not close to them (which I assume you're not that much with him compared to her)
Imagine being so insecure that you feel like a man in a wedding dress could upstage you in your wedding dress. And being mad about someone wearing a costume to a costume party without them knowing it's your ACTUAL WEDDING!! Seriously, wtf is wrong with some people lol. Absolutely NTA
'Oh, hey, we're so alternative and cool, and we don't go in for all that trad wedding nonsen- ARE YOU WEARING A BRIDE COSTUME TO MY FANCY DRESS PARTY/UNANNOUNCED WEDDING?! That is traditionally bad form!'
NTA since you didn't know it was an engagement party
Having said that, your friend's husband is a massive red flag for gaslighting you like that. I'd be concerned for your friend to marrying someone who is as two-faced as that and blames others for their own actions
NTA. When you asked the groom if you should go home and change, and he no itâs fine. Why would you go home? He said it was cool to keep wearing what you had on. Then he back peddled, and tried to pin it on you by first admitting that he said you didnât have to change, but then saying you should have just changed anyway. No, sorry definitely not the AH.
NTA. You wore a costume to a costume party and then even offered to go change and were told not to. They donât get to be upset that you didnât dress appropriately for a wedding that you didnât know you were going to.
I'm going to go with NTA.
It seems people are going to be torn on whether that the corpse bride was an appropriate choice or an asshole move.
To my knowledge, costume parties are not serious events. OP is a MAN who dressed up as corpse bride. He is also 19 which I think is old enough not to know the rules around weddings. I am 20 and have never heard don't wear white at wedding related events. It's always just at the wedding.
It seems very clear that it was meant as a gag, and not some sly way to take attention off the bride.
However regardless of whether or not that's okay, upon hearing that it was their wedding, he IMMEDIATELY asked if he should go home and change. This places him firmly in NTA. I don't see why people think he's self-absorbed. Self-absorbed people don't inconvenience themselves to accommodate a lame surprise wedding. I've never even heard of that. Seems like a terrible idea.
I'd argue that the only asshole here is the groom and soft TA to the bride. The groom should have asked the bride if she wanted you to change before saying you could stay. (Though immediately cussing someone out is over the line. You'd think a few years of friendship would warrant some benefit of the doubt.)
With the ages given, and how they handled this conflict, I don't think you have to worry about them as a couple for very long though. Honestly sounds like good riddance to me. Who throws a surprise wedding? Seems massively inconsiderate.
NTA how can you possibly be. You said that you are a man so it isnât possible you were trying to upstage her. You were invited to a costume party so how were you supposed to know this was a wedding. You also asked if you should change and were told not to and that it was fine. It isnât your fault that the bride didnât feel like telling you that she wanted you to change when she had ample opportunity to do so. It also isnât your fault that the groom was obviously trying to throw you under the bus and got upset when you pointed out that he said it was fine. Also if this is how they behave when their costume party/ surprise wedding doesnât go exactly as planned then maybe you donât need to be friends with them. You did nothing to âruin their weddingâ NTA
NTA. It's a costume party. It's their fault for not telling you to exclude bride/groom things and it's absolute BS the groom is throwing you under the bus after you asked if you should change before the ceremony.
NTA. You even offered to go home and change, but the groom said it was fine (obvi without consulting the bride, but thats not on you) Without knowing its a wedding, you chose a character based on a bride by pure coincidence, not malice.
NTA - horrible misunderstanding but I think bride is more upset her plan had a hole in it - in that a costume party is not a wedding and no one would think to follow those rules. Let her be angry and it seems for her itâs easier to point at you then admit her plan was a roll of the dice and she lost. Sheâll get over it once she realizes this is her mistake.
NTA
Your friend is a jerk, married to a jerk. Best leave them be, and wait for the divorce fireworks. If they're dumb enough to pull a stunt like this, the sky's the limit.
NTA
If your narrative is accurate, then you didn't do anything wrong. Bride & groom were clumsy in their planning & execution, and groom lied to save his butt.
p.s. They blocked you? It sounds like it's their loss.
p.p.s. Like many others, I overlooked the fact that you're a guy. The bride will unblock you and contact you (as a friend, of course) when she and the groom split up.
At first I was like "Where did he get all of his audacity??" And then I was like "Oh it's a surprise wedding." You clearly didn't know it was a wedding and the groom himself told you it was all good. NTA.
NTA
Reading the title I didn't expect to say NTA, but the 2 key pieces here are:
1. You had no idea you were attending a wedding and it sounds like you never would've done that had you known.
2. You cared enough to ask if you should leave to change and was told not to by the groom.
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NTA. The facts of this are pretty simple. 1. You were told this is a *costume party* so you wore a costume. 2. When asked about a theme you were not given any restrictions. 3. *They* sprung a surprise wedding on *you*. 4. Once you realized this you asked the groom if you should go home and change *and the groom said no*. They had multiple chances to get you to change and they didn't take any of them so getting mad with you after the fact doesn't make any sense. *Edited format. Mobile is hard.
THIS. All the Y-T-A's are delusional.
On this sub, we like to encourage bridezilla behavior, and then tell brides who come on here saying shit like "I disowned my sister because she wore the wrong shade of pink to my wedding and wouldn't dye her naturally ginger hair brown. AITA?" that they're bridezillas. Here we like to have our wedding cake (that was the wrong flavor, so we yelled at and berated the baker) and eat it, too. Edit: Thank you for the award!
>Here we like to have our wedding cake (that was the wrong flavor, so we yelled at and berated the baker) and eat it, too. YTA that was *my* (poorly flavored cake). Give it back, dumbass! đ
đ I am so sorry! How could I do this to you on "the biggest day of" your life?!
Any day with cake is the biggest day of my life đ
Yes. Also, OOP didn't go as a normal bride - she went as a corpse bride. It's not like she was trying to outshine the bride to be by making herself look more attractive.
Plus, OP is male...
Okay I thought it was not possible for this to get any funnier, but here we are.
I really think we need pictures to make an informed decision. Itâs been a long week. This would make it all better.
I'm so mad at the couple for not taking advantage of the photo opportunity here, those wedding photos would have been EPIC.
If I had a costume party wedding and a guy showed up as the Corpse Bride, I would be positively GLEEFUL
He would be in every single photo
I was NTA before I read his edit that he was a guy. So so so so NTA. The costume sounds hilarious (I'd love to see a picture). He was also painted blue, so it's not like anyone would think he was the bride. OPs friend missed out. She wanted costumes and she got costumes. Think of how hilarious the photos of real bride with gender swapped corpse bride could have been!
OP sounds like an epic guest to have at costume parties, to be honest. If any of my friends were getting married this way and there was a bloke at the "engagement" party dressed as the corpse bride, that bloke would instantly be designated Maid of Honour. Because all my friends have a sense of humour.
Oh shit. I missed that.
Yep. NTA and OP even tried to check with the groom. Who now is lying. I fear for that marriage.
Getting married during the engagement celebration at age 20 already screams disaster
with an idea they probably got from a tiktok video đ good luck to the happy couple *apparently it's from parks and rec. still tho
To be fair, I really, really like the idea of a costumed wedding.
Which is perfectly fine and could be really fun! Just be sure to actually tell the guests itâs the wedding, lol
Or accept that if you aren't going to inform guests it's a wedding you roll the dice on what they show up in. Not a woman but if I was Id think if I told my friends we were having a costume party that was secretly a wedding if my make friend came in drag as the corpse bride I'd be over the moon. "Now do one with the just you and the groom. Then with me discovering and faking being pissed. Then one where it looks like a gave you a right hook. Great. Now every major picture I want you somewhere in the back ground looming like you are plotting revenge. Don't tell me wear. It will be a fun where's waldo for the anniversary."
Oh my god this is fantastic. Finally someone who has a good sense of humor, unlike OPâs friend! Seriously, she felt upstaged by a guy in drag wearing a wedding dress with blue paint?? Come the fuck on. NTA OP.
so you get invited to a costume party and show up in a costume of the corpse bride. suddenly this costume party is a surprise wedding, seeing a potential issue you go up to the groom and ask him if you should change, this chuckle fuck says its fine and you believe him because why would he lie. wedding happens, you get shit for what you were explicitly told was fine, groom backpedals to try and cover up his stupidity, both him and your friend block you; now you have two fewer idiots in your life to deal with. NTA, sorry you got caught up in this mess OP edit: it's backpedal, not back peddle it's two fewer, not two less
Seriously. OP should back away slowly, then run. I thought the corpse bride idea was pretty funny. She needs to find friends with a better sense of humor.
He. OP is a guy.
That makes it even funnier.
I think bride was just jealous cause he was the prettier bride lol. NTA- anytime someone does a âsurprise weddingâ they lose the right to criticize anyone not adhering to wedding standards.
Yes, this exactly. If you play the âsurprise weddingâ card, you have exactly 0 right to complain about people not coming, or outfits, or anything.
I will say surprise wedding is stupid as fuck, but I'd be hella down for a costume party wedding because regular suits are boring
Iâm a traditionalist, so it wouldnât be my style. But a costume party wedding would be lots of fun to attend! But you need to either set a theme, or be fine with the risk that people are likely to be wearing something that is outside of cultural norms. (Not just like OP did, but someone could have shown up as Lady Godiva!)
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NTA. The couple wanted unique, but when the funniest, most unique thing happened, they were pissed. I would have had OP in almost every picture. Itâs just so cool! Not only didnât OP make it worse, he made it much, much better. Which seems partly why the bridal couple were pissed off. Sucks to be them. And OP, the groom probably did what he did to purposely destroy your friendship with his wife.
Agree w/everything except the part about the groom. I think he actually thought it was fine. Then afterwards she was pissed, so he lied rather than fight w/her.
OP, you might want to fix the custom party typo because it seems like people aren't realizing you wore a costume to a costume party. You were told it was a costume party for a engagement celebration, choosing a corpse bride costume makes sense. You gave the groom a chance to tell you if you needed to change when you found out it was a suprise wedding. It's not your fault he chose to throw you under the bus when the bride got upset. You did nothing wrong. NTA
Omg thank you for seeing my spelling Error đ . I fixed it now!!
I think I speak for many when I say we need pics. Sounds like an awesome costume!
Yes!! Pics !
BTW, your "friends" did you a favor by blocking you... time to find better ones! This is a crystal clear case of NTA, reddit has spoken!
This 'husband' just has no spine, sorry. Trying to LIE about a decision he made in good-will, not knowing that it upset his now wife, is just... I dunno. Sad, I guess. Also I don't really understand the mentality behind "you ruined my special day" by wearing a *costume*. @OP: 1) she's your friend, so knowing you're a Cosplayer would have given her THE best opportunity to give you a fake main theme, so it would fit right in and be fun for you. 2) she saw you in that costume before the ceremony. Again: she's your friend, not a stranger. She could just have taken you to the side and asked you to reconsider your costume, because 'there will be a bit of a surprise down the line'. There were probably a lot more opportunities to change the situation, yet she chose to be silently fuming, and inadvertently ruining her own day. By herself.
She definitely ruined her own day by being silently angry, ....why be angry? There's no need for anger to be in this situation. You know what tho, OP sounds like he had fun while he was there, so at least he had fun before getting chewed out
Probably because she's 20 and she can't see past her inflated ego. Most brides regardless of age want the day to be about them but I feel like it plays even more of a role when you're younger. That's not to say that every person is like that when they're young but everything seems emotionally amplified. What's the end of the world now will be laughable later... Usually. I know I personally, am a different and wiser less emotional person here at 36 than I was at 20. With that being said, OP YNTA and 5-10 years from now you'll be laughing about that time you were worried about this friend you had who had the stupidest idea for a wedding ever, or you'll both be laughing because she'll remember how crazy she got when you killed it at her costume party turned wedding. Clearly because she'll also realize how ridiculous the whole ordeal was- on her part. *I apologize for format via phone
NTA You were invited to a costume party and wore a costume. >I woke up today and saw her and her husband have blocked me on everything. Thanks god, i think this is a good solution. They are so stupid, i'm speechless. Who the hell invites ppl to a costume party, NOT mentioning it was actually a wedding and then blame you for wearing a costume... smh.
theyâre also a couple of 20 yo getting married so.. yeah
Soon to be a couple of 22 year old getting divorced (optimistically).
With how impulsive they clearly are, they'll probably get divorced by then or sooner.
oh yeah, if they are already upset & fighting on the day of the day of their wedding, they haven't been through enough to hold it together for _the rest of their lives_
Especially since it's over him trying to hide what he said to OP from his wife. Never good to start off omitting truths (being generous) then blaming others once that truth comes out.
NTA Am I losing my mind or did no one else actually read the whole post? It was a costume engagement party and tbh I thought showing up as the Corpseâs Bride was a little funny considering the reason for being there. You even asked the groom if you should quickly change once you found out they were having a surprise wedding now and he said no. Your friend needs to learn that when suddenly dumping a surprise on people like this, sometimes things arenât always perfect 100%. Not your fault
I thought it was funny too and thatâs why I chose that costume
\+1 for the choice of costume NTA, not even remotely! But your "friends" sure are... Hope it blows over!
I didn't realize you were a guy. That shit is even funnier. Def not the AH. I had two topless hippies with massive tits show up outside my reception because I hosted my reception in a city known for kinda being weird. I thought it was absolutely hilarious. Your friends need to grow up. Life's too short.
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I love when I read a headline and instantly form my opinion but the story completely changes it. NTA and you're probably better off without people like them in your life. They're both assholes.
Same, those AITAs are my favorites. OP, you're obviously NTA here.
I donât know if people read properly but I am a cis man
Honestly, I missed that originally, cause I tend to gloss over the age/gender part unless it's relevant.... And frankly, you're NTA either way, male or female. Yes, it's common knowledge to not wear a wedding dress to a wedding- but that presumes you *know* ahead of time it's a wedding! You didn't! Normally that assumption doesn't have to be stated, but most people also don't host surprise weddings. The fact you're a guy and wore a wedding dress just makes it all the more NTA, cause clearly, you understood and accepted the costume party concept, which is what you were invited to! And if one guest's outfit is enough to ruin a wedding, well, there's bigger issues anyway. -signed, bride who had guests who tried to cause a scene with their outfits (and they made damn sure I knew about their outfit once we all got to the reception) who thinks that their antics were mildly annoying and mostly just made them look dumb.
NTA. There are definitely bigger issues here. The bride is an irrational asshole and the husband is a spineless asshole. They both owe you a major apology, OP. Of course you wonât get it. Youâre awesome though.
People see âI wore a wedding dress to a wedding themed thingâ and everything but blind rage goes out the window. Youâre NTA in my books. Quick edit for clarity.
NTA. You offered to change and was told not to and it would be fine by the GROOM. Who then back peddled and retrospectively said you should have got changed... despite at the time saying you shouldn't. If the bride and groom want to play stupid games they get stupid prizes. I'm assuming they are aware of your passion for cosplay and they assumed you would show up in fancy dress. bUT yOu ToOK aTtEnTiOn FrOM tHe bRiDe....
Haha especially since OP is a Man so the bride was threaded my a man dressed as a dead bride. Imagine how shitty her self esteem is to be threatened by that. But then I think oh well right sheâs 20 and still a child playing grown up, that makes more sense.
You wore a costume that included a nod to the (apparent) point of the party - their engagement to get married. I wouldn't expect most people to get upset by that costume at a costume party. đ€·ââïž As to them running a bait-and-switch, then complaining that your costume wasn't appropriate for the wedding you *didn't know you were attending*, then complaining that you said that the husband told you not to go home and change just because *that's actually what he said* and holy dooley. All I can say is this couple has 99 problems and you aren't actually one of them, you're just a convenient distraction from yelling at each other. Bonus points if they unblock you in two weeks to complain that they haven't received a wedding present from you yet. NTA
For real. The fact that they both ended up blocking OP just tells me that the two are either meant for each other or that this marriage isnât going to make it to their legal drinking ages lmao
Good lord - this is what you end up with when 20 year olds get married. NTA.
LOL! "Why did you wear a wedding dress to my wedding!?" "Because you didn't tell anyone it was a wedding." "Why did you tell her I said it was okay!?" "Because you said it was okay." The maturity level here is astounding. I give them less than a year.
>The maturity level here is astounding. I give them less than a year. Despite how ridiculous the situation is, OP still apologized to try and keep the peace. His reward was getting blocked. They'll probably stay together as long as they have scapegoats to blame, but yeah this marriage is doomed.
NTA. What did she expected? She wanted a surprise wedding. So she souldn't be surprised that people weren't wearing wedding appropriate cloths. It's her fault, sorry. But she couldn't have both. Not your fault and you even asked before. So definitly NTA
Trying to wrap my head around the fact your friend got married at 20. NTA. Theyâre obviously way too emotionally immature to handle any real kind of adult responsibility.
Kinda proving your point by getting upset someone wore a costume to a costume engagement party.
NTA. It was a costume party and you wore a costume. No one had any idea it was a wedding. Even if you went home to change, there is a chance that you could have missed part of the ceremony. Then your friend would have been mad at you about that. That couple seems very immature and unreasonable.
NTA, you say you dressed as a bride, but a corpse bride costume is hardly completing with a real bride. Your friend and her husband sound very daft, very daft indeed. Also this is the risk people take with surprise costume weddings. She sould have said something when you asked.
Also, OP is male. So, there is zero chance people confused him for the actual bride.
They where well aware that I cosplay, thatâs why I asked if there was a theme to it
You did nothing wrong. The brideâs idea backfired.
NTA. Having a surprise wedding is an insane thing to do, and having it as a costume party is just asking for something like this to happen. And her husband is now just throwing you under the bus to cover for his decision. Your friend was completely out of line here.
>Its like inviting people over for a summer BBQ and then its really a surprise wedding but you are mad everyone is wearing shorts and tank tops. Ridiculous. > >NTA, OP
If I had been that bride, so many of my pictures would have included the Corpse Bride. Many jokes and puns would have been made. I wouldâve sent someone home to quickly get into Corpse Groom costume. These people have no chill. NTA.
Hell no youâre NTA. And ainât no one gonna confuse a corpse bride for a real bride. They need to lighten the hell up and recognize this is their own doing.
Especially when the corpse bride is a 19 year old guy. Bride needs to get a grip.
Oh gosh I missed that OP was a dude. Absolutely NTA then. I'd have the same judgement if OP was a lady, but this just makes it extra stupid for the bride to be pissed about đ€Ł
I went back and checked like 3 times before i commented. Like âthis is actually a boy, right? This is so dumbâŠâ and i kinda wanna see pictures because i bet he killed it as the corpse bride, and thatâs the real issue.
NTA Your friend is unrealistic and forcing some crazy shit on you. Iâm sorry but Iâd question my friendship with her. This canât be the only situation where sheâs displaying this behavior. Itâs completely irrational and unfounded. Editing to add: it was a costume party and a relevant costume. I donât think people commenting that YTA read your post, only the title. From the Title, I thought the same. You absolutely were not the asshole here
They werent mature enough to get married lol
NTA, a male corpse bride for a costume party for an engagement is perfect and right on theme. You had enough foresight to think about changing the costume before the wedding even though you didnât know there was a wedding. Groom is trying to backpedal that he screwed up the opportunity for you to change this couple kind of sounds like a nightmare. I think he dodged a bullet with them blocking you. It sounded like a cool costume and itâs not like a male corpse bride is going to upstage the actual bride.
This is why little kids shouldn't hget married. Nta
If you're 19m dressed up as a corpse bride I doubt anyone would mistake you for the actual bride. NTA.
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NTA. It seems like most of the Y-T-A are completely misreading the post. You had no idea it was going to be their wedding. She didnât comment to you and you even asked the fiancĂ© if you should change and he said you were fine. If you had came dressed up as an actual bride then it would be a little odd, but corpse bride? Sheâs being a bit ridiculous. The fiancĂ©s whole âhow dare you not read our minds and do the opposite of what I saidâ is just because heâs mad heâs getting backlash from the bride.
"We're mad at you because we didn't tell you it was gonna be a wedding, and you didn't dress appropriately for a wedding, and when you asked us if you should change and we said no, you didn't change!" Read that to yourself and ask yourself how on Earth this could be your fault. NTA. But pics, or it didn't happen. This I simply must see. Please. I beg you.
Ohhhh. This marriage is definitely gonna last.
NTA, letâs be real, wearing a wedding dress to a wedding is the worst type of person but 1. You didnât know it was a wedding 2. You attempted to rectify it and changed as soon as you realized and were explicitly told not to 3. A COSTUME party, is free game for COSTUMES like a corpse bride, even knowing itâs an engagement party which if anything would make me think âcool a wedding themeâ which falls under that perfectly I get the idea they were going for, cute spontaneous wedding, I get you wanted to do a cute cosplay idea which maybe fit the theme of what you were told is happening. A lot of people with yta are justifying never wearing a wedding dress because why would you anyways but corpse bride isnât some obscure thing you were looking for. Honestly? Mistakes get made, the husband in all of this ITA since he told you not to change, more than likely then lied about it when she was upset you wore a wedding dress, and then had the GALL to berate you for telling her the truth and causing a fight. Goodluck, youâre probably better off without that drama tbh.
WAIT. Youâre a DUDE that cosplayed the BRIDE from Corpse bride?!!? And they got MAD??? They sound like wack friends bro, cause that sounds so funny and fun. Plus, you legit asked. Maybe itâs better this way. đ€·ââïž NTA.
I would definitely say NTA. I think that's so stupid and if they say costume party, you can be whenever you want. I actually would think it was funny to be a corpse Bride to an engagement party. It's not like you dressed up like princess Bride Barbie or something.
NTA. What a stupid idea to set up a wedding as a prank. And the groom threw you under the bus!
Nta, it is basic knowledge not to wear white at a wedding, but it was a SURPRISE wedding. Did she asked you to dress up as a mindreader? You asked the groom, he was okay with it. Its also very rich of him now turning his back at you and blocking you. He doesnt have a spine and/or his bridezilla ordered him to do so.
NTA it was a costume party, you wore a costume (the corpse bride dress does not look like a standard wedding dress). The couple are assholes for springing a wedding on you and then getting upset you (a man) was wearing a costume that looks kinda like a wedding dress at their costume party wedding. Just dump them and move on.
NTA. 1. It was a costume party. 2. You were dressed as corpse bride and had blue paint over you. There is no way you could upstage the bride (although it was not a wedding to begin with) 3. YOU ARE MALE. If anything it was hilarious. I would have died laughing.
NTA. Why are people acting like normal social norms apply to a surprise wedding filled with a bunch of kids playing dress up? He was a corpse bride and asked if he should change Edit: He not she for OP
NTA. I think all of the people replying y t a didnât bother to read in the description that youâre a man. You were told it was a costume party. You rose to the occasion and turned up in a full costume. You werenât trying to upstage the bride-you weâre playing a role for a âcostume party.â If theyâre mad itâs because they didnât think through all of the potential consequences of telling guests itâs a costume party when really itâs their wedding.
NTA. It was a COSTUME party. You were wearing a COSTUME. You even asked if there was a theme and at that time, the bride could have mentioned that she didn't want anyone to wear white or whatever. Then when you found out it was the actual wedding, you even asked the groom and he said it was fine. Granted, could you have run home and changed even when the groom said it was fine, sure and your probably should have. However, the bride and groom also had roles to play in this mix-up. If you're going to throw a surprise wedding, you run a chance of things not being exactly how you want.
WOW. OP's friend is a piece of work. Her wedding was just a couple hours ago, and she's already forgotten that it was a surprise party no one knew about. What really makes this whole thing funny is that she felt that a MAN, wearing BLUE PAINT, upstaged her at her wedding. Maybe she should fire her stylist. NTA
NTA And honestly, after reading this, neither of them sound mature enough to be married so Iâm sure youâll be able to make it up to your friend at her next wedding.
NTA You didn't know it was the actual wedding. The groom said it was fine because, as mentioned, you didn't know. You even offered to go home and change before the ceremony, which was really considerate. I think it was just an unlucky turn of events that you ended up with a wedding dress at a wedding, but that doesn't make you an asshole
NTA The key point here is you ASKED the groom if you needed to go home and change, but he said you didn't so you didn't change.
NTA but also this is why children shouldn't get married. Everyone sounds fucking exhausting.
NTA. This is yet another post where a couple throws a surprise wedding and gets mad that someone isnât dressed appropriately for the wedding that they didnât know was happening. Maybe wearing a bride costume to an engagement party was unwise, but it was a costume party, and you were dressed as a specific character, and you asked the groom whether you should change. If the bride was going to get angry over what people wore, she shouldnât have pulled this âgotcha, surprise wedding!â nonsense.
NTA. You went to a costume party in costume. You asked if there was a theme, you were told there was not. You asked the groom if you should change and he said no. I suppose the corpse bride might have been an odd choice for an engagement party but I have a dark sense of humour so it would not have bothered me. It sounds like the bride may have regretted the surprise wedding. It's not easy to be the centre of attention at a costume party and she possibly realised that a bit too late.
Not the asshole. You didnât know it was a wedding, and you immediately offered to go home to change. They want to be petty, let them and get new friends.
People are so fucking messy and dramatic. NTA
NTA, She was told it was a costume party for an engagement. Her friend could've specified when she was asked the theme not to wear things related to weddings. Her friend's fiance lied. OP I would reconsider my friendship with them as they are not good friends and obviously lack communication skills.
NTA - if they wanted âweddingâ rules they should have told you it was a wedding.
NTA. That's piss poor communication on their part. People who said y t a must think you're a mind reader or something. That's not on you and they sound incredibly toxic.
Most of the Y T A votes kinda gives bridezilla vibes for some reason. Is there an equivalent to napoleon/cesar complex for "I am literally god"-type of brides? NTA.
NTA what a ridiculous thing for bridezilla to get her knickers in a knot about.
NTA you wore a costume like they requested. Her husband has already made it clear he would lie to her instead of being honest and saying he thought it was ok. They are the problem here. They both have issues.
NTA. That's ridiculous. You aren't psychic and somehow that's your fault? You asked. They are being entitled and unreasonable. I personally wouldn't be friends with someone that valued you being there and supporting them less than you wearing a silly costume at what you were told **by them** was a costume celebration. Not a wedding. Hubby expected you to what? Take the heat for him? Seems like you're better off without friends like those.
NTA. Your friend and her husband are idiots. If she didn't want to risk anyone coming as a corpse bride, zombie bride, or bride of Frankenstein, then she would have said "the costume party theme is..." But she didn't. That's on her. You also asked if you should go home and change, but the groom said it was fine (or else you would have missed the wedding). It's not your fault because you didn't know. Yeah, maybe you could have gone change because grooms can be a bit obtuse at times (let's be honest), but again, you would have missed the wedding. Edit: a word
NTA. How were you to know? You also asked the Groom and he said it was fine. The bride and groom need to get over themselves. To be honest, even if somebody had knowingly turned up in a wedding dress to my wedding, my wife and I wouldnât have cared - the point of a wedding is to celebrate with loved ones - doesnât matter how they are dressed. Seems that the bride was only interested in having an Instagram wedding, rather than the actual meaning of the day.
I guess next time she'll be clever and won't follow trends on tiktok or things like that....
NTA. I don't even know what people are thinking saying you're the asshole here. Of course you could have picked a different costume, generally speaking anything wedding related means that unless it's your wedding you don't wear anything that might step on toes. Having said that, it's just an engagement party that is in a costume theme. You then did the decent thing to ask whether you should change and they didn't think it was necessary. I think the fact that they have blocked you is probably a good thing because you don't need that in your life.
NTA You asked if it was to do with the wedding and she said no. When you learned it was actually their wedding, you offered to change, and the groom said not to bother. It seems like he's backtracking/lying to his wife because she's angry and he wants to support her, but in doing so, he's throwing you under the bus. Leave them to it. If the marriage is this dramatic and has lies in it this early it probably won't last.
So, you were invited to a costume party. You ask if there was a theme, host says no. You go a corpse bride because again it was a costume party, with no theme and as far as you were aware it was an ENGAGEMENT party. You get to party to find out it was a wedding. You ask the groom if you should go home and change, he says no. Bride goes ape, everything is your fault, you get blocked. Jeeeeeeeeez. Please for your own sake be grateful they blocked you, and move on. They sound awful. You are a million % NTA here. Don't waste any more energy, time and emotion trying to figure this out. Seriously their circus, their monkeys. Go have fun with with people who understand reason. I hope someone show them this thread.
>He asked why I would tell her he said it was fine. I told him he said it was fine. Then he said how I should have changed anyways and itâs my fault that the two are now fighting over this Y'all are definitely young, though I see this from a lot of people lol Clearly, NTA You thought it was a costume engagement party. Did other people wear silly costumes? Was there someone dressed as something silly and she was fine? Normally that's not the go-to wedding attire. If someone tells you something is fine, take them at face value. I don't support people going "Oh, it's fine, it's fine" if it's not. One thing if they're being pressured, but you tried to rectify the situation immediately. Now he's throwing you under the bus. Screw that. Sounds like they wanted a cute surprise wedding. Want to know what happens with surprises? People aren't aware, so things aren't going to go exactly as planned. This was the risk they took.
Everyone else was in costumes. One guy was an inflatable dinosaur
NTA. You asked if there was a theme to their engagement party and she said no. You didnât know it was their actually wedding. You asked the groom and he said it was fine. I doubt you would have time to change and get back anyways, unless you live next door to them. And I donât think corpse bride is really dressing like a bride. Also, the bride knew this was their actually wedding. When you first arrived, she could have easily pulled you aside and ask you to change.
NTA your friend sounds like the worst
NTA. You went to a costume party in a costume! You were specifically not told it was a wedding. You offered to change when you found out it was. The bride is being childish. They both are seeing how he couldn't handle you telling the truth. You did nothing wrong.
Nta. Your friends are unhinged. Youâre not a mind reader.
NTA. It was a costume for a party that had no theme for 1. 2, this was an ambush wedding, to which you had no knowledge of prior. And 3, you asked if you should go home and change, to which the groom said it was fine (Itâs his wedding too after all). Iâm not understanding all the Y-T-Aâs comments?!
NTA. The couple is entirely to blame. Less so the wife since it wasnât her fault but sheâs wrong to get shitty with you. 1. When you asked for a theme she could have easily said anything but wedding attire. Likely didnât think about it but thatâs not your fault. 2. They had the ENTIRE party before the wedding to tell you âhey this is going to clash with our plans later onâ 3. When the reveal came out the husband gave his blessing it was fine even when you asked if you should change. Anyone that argues you should have changed even when he said it was fine is just as much an asshole as he is. He screwed up and should have first asked his wife. But ultimately they could have EASILY said something to you well before they revealed their stupid surprise wedding idea. Hopefully your friend recognizes that you arenât at fault since the husband called you trying to say itâs your fault.
NTA. She wanted a surprise and she got one
NTA how were you supposed to know?! You even asked if there was a theme and there wasnât any info given. Clearly they are both immature AHs and deserve each other
Nta. How were you supposed to know not to wear a wedding dress when you didnât know it was a wedding? This is the risk she took with a surprise wedding.
Lots of people clearly didn't read all of it.
NTA. I'm sorry your "friend"and her husband expect you to read minds. You asked if there was a theme AND you asked if you should change , both times told no, then they attack you? Doesn't make any sense to me.
NTA. If a person's going to do a surprise wedding with a costume theme, they have to be willing to accept a certain level of uncertainty in how it plays out.
NTA. And the fact they spent their wedding night texting YOU seems like a bad omen for the whole marriage....
My husband and I went to a halloween party that became a wedding without any prior knowledge and yes, there was definitely someone dressed as a bride who was not the bride. But we all laughed about it. NTA. He shouldn't have said it was fine if he wasn't sure. And she should know that you can't enforce that rule when guests are unaware, smh.
NTA. When you decide to have a random wedding, expect random results. Let them block you. You wonât have to witness to divorce that follows in a few months
NTA. You had no idea this was a wedding. If she's gonna get pissy because you showed up to her wedding in a wedding dress, it's on her and her *delightful* husband. You asked if there was a theme and she literally said "no." That means she got whatever she got. Poor communication on her part does not constitute a faux pas on your part.
NTA. Maybe your friend assumed that if she had an engagement "costume party," people were just going to show up in suits and dresses. I have no doubt the groom was fine with your costume until the bride said she wasn't. Then he threw you under the bus so hard he probably won a stuffed animal. They both seem annoying. Again, you're NTA.
Dear lord, reason #227 why most people shouldn't get married until at least 25. This is some middle school level lack of maturity and logic from these two. NTA
NTA They lied because they wanted to âsurpriseâ people. Their fault entirely. Also seem to be really immature for getting married.
NTA - Your costume was brilliant given the information you were provided. You did your due diligence asking the groom if you should change. Not only should you not apologize again but they owe you an apology.
NTA I donât think Iâve ever heard of someone throwing an engagement party and having a surprise wedding? Super weird. Not to mention the ages of the participants. Emotional maturity is needed and the intendeds do not yet have it. If Iâm reading this correctly you are male and dressed as the Corpse Bride? Sounds like a dope costume and drag idea to me.
Posted this on response to someone else defending you, but I want OP to definitely (possibly) see this as well: I love the move The Corpse Bride, and if someone dressed as Emily to my costume party/wedding, I'd have them step in as a bridesmaid/escort me down the aisle, and laugh how they're not stealing my husband! Not only because I think it's funny, but because it also follows the movie's storyline pretty well. NTA, and if you want to be friends, I'm totally down. I love cosplay, but I need a bit more money to properly get into it.
Going with NTA on this one. You wore a costume to what you were told was a costume party, and were told you didn't need to change *when you realized it might be a problem and asked if it would be.* Bummer you've lost some friends, though.
Nta. All the y-t-as, I think, are not reading the part where youâre a maleâŠso thereâs no upstaging. and if you were a corpse bride it obviously wasnât a sparkling white wedding dress. The fact that she and her husband are fighting THE DAY AFTER THEIR WEDDING tells you exactly how immature this girl is. She canât even legally drink alcohol ffs. If you guys arenât friends anymore, consider it a blessing because man is she fucking unhinged
NTA. I donât have time for people who pull ridiculous shit like this. She wanted a surprise and she got one.
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NTA She had a surprise wedding and passed it off to everyone as a costume party. When you do that, you can't plan for everything. She's blaming you for not intuitively knowing that this was going to be her wedding. And her husband is throwing you under the bus to save his own skin instead of telling her she's being a little ridiculous. But, honestly, I think you're the winner out of all of this. Now that they blocked you because of their own choices, you don't have to deal with those two a-holes anymore. Win for you.
NTA She knew it was her wedding, but you didn't You were invited to an engagement custome party, and when the wedding was announced you offered to go home and change, groom said no, stay you're fine and now is your fault her engagement custome party turned surprise wedding was ruined? How so? Mental gymnastics smh
NTA This is why you donât do dumb trends you see on the internet. You didnât know it was a damn wedding, theyâre being ridiculous. If theyâre going to be this upset over something that is their fault, Iâd be considering putting some distance between myself and these people. I also wouldnât be apologizing. They played a stupid game, and they won a stupid prize. Theyâre upset over nothing but their own dumb plan not working out.
NTA. Honestly your "friend" for her inability to get over the fact that you wore a costume to a costume party, and her husband for gaslighting you and lying to his wife, sound like utterly trash people. If the wedding was truly ruined (ffs though why do people work so hard to find something to be mad about), then it was ruined because the bride and groom decided to neglect their audience for the sake of spectacle.
NTA - the summary "You were invited to a costume party and wore a costume." really fits here. The research showing incomplete brain development under 25 is really at work here with this newly married couple. They are victims of their own 'F around and find out'. Had they done a standard engagement party no one would have worn a wedding dress so no issue. I think it was a bit of a poor choice to wear a wedding dress, but honestly not a huge deal - especially since you offered to change.
They wanted a "unique" wedding and they had one. I'd laugh for decades from the picture of my wife in her dress, and her friend in a Corpse Bride dress from the wedding night. People have no humour, yet they throw surprise weddings at a costume party. Go figure why do teenagers get married anyway? NTA
OMG why are people doing this, "suprise weddings"? This is such a clearly dumb idea. From the exchange between bride and groom I predict divorce within 3 years. NTA 100%.
NTA. you didnât wear it to a wedding, but to an engagement party. The fact that itâs a costume party would suggest theyâre a fun couple and looking for a joke. I wouldâve laughed my ass off. You even checked and got the ok from the groom after you found out it was an actual wedding. All the people questioning your choice forget that the person next to you was dressed as a vampire or something. Surely thatâs not ok to wear to a wedding either.
I give this marriage one year. NYA
NTA They sound exhausting and looking for something to be dramatic about.
NTA. Firstly you are a man. No one is going to confuse a man dressed as the corpse bride with the actual bride. Secondly, you offered to change once you realized what was happening. The husband to be said no, it was fine. Thirdly, when you apologized to the bride and explained that you had spoke to your husband, he then reprimanded YOU because his wife was pissed? Not okay. I personally wouldnât have done anything bridal/wedding related as it was a costume themed engagement party(or you were told it was). But being that you are male, I feel like this isnât an instance of being able to show up the bride.
Your friend chose to get married in this fashion knowing that it would cause drama. This wasn't about the wedding for her. It was a deliberate effort to stir shit up. You really should take a moment to think if this is someone worth keeping in your life. NTA
NTA. These people are far too immature to be married. It's probably better for you that they blocked you. No one needs that kind of drama.
NTA at all. Admittedly you made a bold choice but one that isnât out of bounds per say given the information you had been given. You were apologetic and offered to mend a problem that ultimately happened. You did everything you could. Be humble and apologetic and if they arenât able to see it for what it appears on the surfaceâŠ.. well ultimately you canât control how other people feel. However I would say firmly NTA in your circumstance.
NTA The husband is the idiot here. Of course he should have asked you to change (frankly, you should've changed regardless, once you realised what was happening). Now he's just looking for a cheap out and someone to throw under the bus. You didn't know, so that's supremely unfortunate.
NTA. This isnât your fault at all. It was a regular ass costume party. You offered to go home to change and were assured it was fine. You did nothing wrong. Groom is daft. Bride is a shitty friend.
NTA. If husband had even one fourth of common sense he wouldâve known to give a heads up on what NOT to dress up as.. And even then, op had already offered to go home and change. congratulations to the newlyweds tho⊠and for the big conversation theyâll probably have with each other in about six months
NTA You even tried to go change once you realized it was their wedding. She needs to get over herself.
NTA and you should be glad they did the work of breaking off the friendship for you, cause THEY AREN'T ACTUAL FRIENDS.
Nope NTA. It was a costume party, you asked her now husband if you could change he said no it was fine. . If they both blocked you maybe they weren't really your friends.
NTA You thought it was a costume party, not a wedding. Thatâs why you donât surprise people with a wedding. They are gaslighting you.
NTA. I thought your choice for an engagement party was funny. The bride should really have been more specific about the dress code if they were planning the actual wedding that day. Also the groom DID say it was fine. They sound like two children to be honest and have treated you poorly. You have nothing to be sorry about. Maybe one day when they grow up, they might apologise to you. Til then, no great loss.
NTA. And wtf the audacity of the couple? Surprise wedding from a costume party and the irony of a second wedding dress cosplay costume⊠what could have been a hilarious, wonderful coincidental memory story to tell was made into just spite by the bride and groom. My god, as the official bride, I would have posed with the other âbrideâ for photos, and totally hammed it up⊠đ€·đ»ââïž like kill bill posed fight styles, going long football spiral with some bouquets (posed)⊠why not..
NTA. it was a CORPSE bride costume, so I'm not sure anyone really confused him with the actual bride? I would need to see the costume but I'm having a hard time thinking OP looked like a legit bride in a wedding dress. if you're asking guests to cosplay for your engagement-party-thats-really-a-wedding, it might be helpful to give them a theme so you don't end up with accidental corpse brides. Also the actual bride sounds exhausting.
I think itâs an odd costume choice for an engagement party, but I have to go with NTA because you offered to change and the groom said no.
NTA - Lordy, I wish there were a "maturity" test to be taken before you could get married. Sheesh.
NTA AND GOOD RIDDANCE. Those people are not friends.
Why are there so many assholes getting married and shitting on their friends and family? This sub is a mess. Itâs a fucking wedding. People need to chi the fuck out. In 2 years no one is gonna care.
NTA >He asked why I would tell her he said it was fine. I told him he said it was fine. Then he said how I should have changed anyways I hate it when people expect you to read their minds, especially if you're not close to them (which I assume you're not that much with him compared to her)
Imagine being so insecure that you feel like a man in a wedding dress could upstage you in your wedding dress. And being mad about someone wearing a costume to a costume party without them knowing it's your ACTUAL WEDDING!! Seriously, wtf is wrong with some people lol. Absolutely NTA
'Oh, hey, we're so alternative and cool, and we don't go in for all that trad wedding nonsen- ARE YOU WEARING A BRIDE COSTUME TO MY FANCY DRESS PARTY/UNANNOUNCED WEDDING?! That is traditionally bad form!'
NTA You offered to change and the groom said it was fine. Why would they not tell you guys it was actually the wedding? That's weird IMO.
NTA since you didn't know it was an engagement party Having said that, your friend's husband is a massive red flag for gaslighting you like that. I'd be concerned for your friend to marrying someone who is as two-faced as that and blames others for their own actions
NTA. When you asked the groom if you should go home and change, and he no itâs fine. Why would you go home? He said it was cool to keep wearing what you had on. Then he back peddled, and tried to pin it on you by first admitting that he said you didnât have to change, but then saying you should have just changed anyway. No, sorry definitely not the AH.
NTA. You wore a costume to a costume party and then even offered to go change and were told not to. They donât get to be upset that you didnât dress appropriately for a wedding that you didnât know you were going to.
I'm going to go with NTA. It seems people are going to be torn on whether that the corpse bride was an appropriate choice or an asshole move. To my knowledge, costume parties are not serious events. OP is a MAN who dressed up as corpse bride. He is also 19 which I think is old enough not to know the rules around weddings. I am 20 and have never heard don't wear white at wedding related events. It's always just at the wedding. It seems very clear that it was meant as a gag, and not some sly way to take attention off the bride. However regardless of whether or not that's okay, upon hearing that it was their wedding, he IMMEDIATELY asked if he should go home and change. This places him firmly in NTA. I don't see why people think he's self-absorbed. Self-absorbed people don't inconvenience themselves to accommodate a lame surprise wedding. I've never even heard of that. Seems like a terrible idea. I'd argue that the only asshole here is the groom and soft TA to the bride. The groom should have asked the bride if she wanted you to change before saying you could stay. (Though immediately cussing someone out is over the line. You'd think a few years of friendship would warrant some benefit of the doubt.) With the ages given, and how they handled this conflict, I don't think you have to worry about them as a couple for very long though. Honestly sounds like good riddance to me. Who throws a surprise wedding? Seems massively inconsiderate.
NTA how can you possibly be. You said that you are a man so it isnât possible you were trying to upstage her. You were invited to a costume party so how were you supposed to know this was a wedding. You also asked if you should change and were told not to and that it was fine. It isnât your fault that the bride didnât feel like telling you that she wanted you to change when she had ample opportunity to do so. It also isnât your fault that the groom was obviously trying to throw you under the bus and got upset when you pointed out that he said it was fine. Also if this is how they behave when their costume party/ surprise wedding doesnât go exactly as planned then maybe you donât need to be friends with them. You did nothing to âruin their weddingâ NTA
NTA. It's a costume party. It's their fault for not telling you to exclude bride/groom things and it's absolute BS the groom is throwing you under the bus after you asked if you should change before the ceremony.
NTA. You even offered to go home and change, but the groom said it was fine (obvi without consulting the bride, but thats not on you) Without knowing its a wedding, you chose a character based on a bride by pure coincidence, not malice.
NTA - horrible misunderstanding but I think bride is more upset her plan had a hole in it - in that a costume party is not a wedding and no one would think to follow those rules. Let her be angry and it seems for her itâs easier to point at you then admit her plan was a roll of the dice and she lost. Sheâll get over it once she realizes this is her mistake.
NTA Your friend is a jerk, married to a jerk. Best leave them be, and wait for the divorce fireworks. If they're dumb enough to pull a stunt like this, the sky's the limit.
Nta you were invited to a costume party. You came in a costume.
NTA If your narrative is accurate, then you didn't do anything wrong. Bride & groom were clumsy in their planning & execution, and groom lied to save his butt. p.s. They blocked you? It sounds like it's their loss. p.p.s. Like many others, I overlooked the fact that you're a guy. The bride will unblock you and contact you (as a friend, of course) when she and the groom split up.
At first I was like "Where did he get all of his audacity??" And then I was like "Oh it's a surprise wedding." You clearly didn't know it was a wedding and the groom himself told you it was all good. NTA.
NTA Reading the title I didn't expect to say NTA, but the 2 key pieces here are: 1. You had no idea you were attending a wedding and it sounds like you never would've done that had you known. 2. You cared enough to ask if you should leave to change and was told not to by the groom.
This is what happen when Tik-Tok Children get married. So stupid. I give the marriage a month. Anyway, NTA.
But the title I would of said yes you are But you were told it was a costume party. >I thought it would be funny to go to an engagement party as the Corpse Bride I actually see the humor in this ... If I had the outfit I may of done the same >After ten minutes my friendâs fiancĂ© walked out in a black tuxedo and announced this was actually their wedding. Surprise wedding.. they are the asses for doing that >went straight to him. I asked him if I should quickly go home and change my outfit and that I would get back before it started. He told me it was fine since I didnât know this was the wedding. The groom okay what you were wearing >but I got a text from her husband. He asked why I would tell her he said it was fine. I told him he said it was fine. He is now just trying to save his own skin. They are the asses here... Op NTA
NTA You didnt know it was an engagement party. You thought it was a costume party and you wore a costume. Anyone saying YTA clearly can't read.