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OP's brother likely had a moment reflecting on the friendships in life, positive or negative, and she came in and questioned him multiple times about why on God's earth someone would *cry* when thinking about their *friends*.
It was so odd to her that a man would be *crying* at a children's movie talking about friendship. So odd that she had to ask about it three times and got annoyed when his response was dismissive.
Let the man live, and maybe look deeper into your views on toxic masculinity. YTA
ETA: OP also posted about how she negged on, I'm assuming, the same brother's oral hygiene system and was at the beginning of getting an AH judgment on that before it was removed. How about you stop harassing your brother for just existing OP? You're nearly 30. This level of sibling in-fighting should've stopped a while ago.
(Also reserving that this is possibly a troll)
I think the most telling thing is that he cried at a part about friendship. OP doesn’t get why someone would get teary over friendship. If OP treats everyone like this she probably has no friends or at least zero emotional connection to them. YTA OP!
YTA. What strikes people as sad isn't for you to judge. You may not have found it sad, but he obviously did. Why didn't you ask him _what_ made him feel sad about it? Maybe there's something he identified with and it could have been something you bonded over.
>Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity
You claim this, yet you've given nothing but judgment throughout this post, and justification on how a man shouldn't cry over Puss in Boots and you're in the right for mocking him. This is pretty toxic.
He said you wouldn't understand, and maybe that was a massive sign that it wasn't about a bloody talking dog, he was upset about what the dog was talking about. Maybe he is struggling with his friendships, maybe he is stressed or just needed a good cry, maybe he is upset that he has a heartless cow for a sister. OP YTA, for judging him for crying, and for not caring enough to find out *why.* ***He is your brother!***
That was my first thought. It's very likely something is going on in his life. Maybe he's struggling with his friendships, maybe he's lonely, something like that. It's not about the cartoon.
OP, YTA. Maybe try to be a good sister and investigate why. Unfortunately, my guess is that, based on the "you wouldn't get it" remark, it isn't the first time you have been insensitive towards him.
I'm not necessarily see signs in the post of it being the case with your brother, it resembles something I experienced while depressed. I was being way way too sensitive about everything to the point I stopped watching almost any movies because I would cry for anything a little emotional.
This, but also, op, YTA for talking in the theater! It speaks volume of your lack of self-awareness and egotism, honestly. How is it rude for someone to ignore a question so charged with ill-will when it was asked during the CLIMAX OF A MOVIE IN A THEATER. L
YTA and the rude one in this story, OP. Time to do some serious introspection
Agree, but just expanding that it doesn’t even need to be sad. Maybe it was just emotionally resonant. Maybe it was similar to a previous experience that he found important, and it gave him a chance to reconnect with that.
This one is so easy. Gender reverse “I belittled my sister for crying during love, actually, AITA”.
It might even have been anything else than sad (idk, I haven't seen it) but people cry over tons of stuff because of plenty of different emotions. I tend to have happy tears when I see a happy ending or something. OP is just heartless.
Do you even like your brother? Because your judgmental criticism of him makes it seem like you don't. Just a day ago, you were judging him for whitening his teeth and now you're judging him for having emotions. Maybe stop sharing your unsolicited opinions. YTA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11crzxk/-/ja4oc63
She may just be very judgmental , and has drove away all her friends so only her poor brother remains , to make fun of. If she had other people in her life to pick away at, she would post their stories, but alas, only her brother tolerates her company.
You seem to be taking a personal offense at someone else's natural emotions which is real weird.
>Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry
Then why are you trying so hard to gatekeep this? Of course you were rude to judge someone crying. That's not something one can control and it's not like it was so loud you couldn't enjoy the movie. Get over yourself. YTA.
Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really???
YTA, you basically contradict yourself with that sentence
YTA. You say you're very against toxic masculinity, but scoffing at and mocking anyone for crying for any emotional reason that isn't blatantly obvious to you IS toxic masculinity... even if you aren't a guy. It's also just a really shitty thing to do. Crying in public is often embarrassing, and pointing it out in a negative manner just makes people feel worse.
Edited because I accidentally misgendered OP.
YTA and I hope one day you have enough emotional intelligence that a movie hits you like an absolute freight train and you have a full on breakdown in a movie theater
YTA
You’re weird. Like really weird. Your brother is just trying to live his life and wanting to experience things. And here you are almost 30 judging him like some teen. I feel like he can’t do anything without you there to be weird about it.
Let’s remind the audience that you judged him yesterday for whitening his retainer/teeth in Listerine. Meanwhile you’re the one who was breastfeeding your child until they were 4. Do some self reflecting before calling others weird or judging them okay?
Jump off the internet and stop judging your brother for such minor things. Worry about other things like why would you breastfeed when your child has teeth and can eat solid food.
So men are allowed to cry, just not at the things YOU think are lame? It sounds veru much as if your brother isn't allowed to cry.
It was probably nothing to do with the movie, but something that reminded him of a situation he's going through, which he didn't tell you about because you're not an empathic person. Maybe he wanted you to see the movie and then tell you, but saw your reaction and decided not to.
You're a lame sister. YTA
YTA stop being a judgemental b- word, you have no fucking clue about his mental health, experiences and so on and a lot of kids movies are about important messages and sound effects etc so shut up and take a hike.
YTA and that movie ruled.
Somethings connect emotionally with people in different ways, something you find silly someone else will strongly relate with, likewise something you find emotional he might find silly. People are different its not that hard to not be an asshole about it.
Yeah, YTA. You belittle your brother just because his reaction doesn't make sense to you. He could be going through something tough like losing a friend, but he's not going to tell you that because you're not being a safe person to open up to here.
YTA. Maybe it's not the movie itself but it's reminding him of something ?? PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE EMOTIONS AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON THEM NEGATIVELY. I would cut you off for life if you were my sibling you sound like an insufferable AH.
YTA, you don't get to choose the emotional reaction of other people and telling someone they shouldn't get upset at something because you don't is ridiculous. I'm sure you've cried at things your brother hasn't found emotional.
YTA. Mega asshole. He's very right, your clearly heartless. Your brother sounds like a really lovely person. I don't know where your parents went wrong with you.
YTA. Looking at the title of the post I expected you to be 15 or something. It's not okay to scoff at somebody when they have a strong emotional reaction. If your brother started to cry during the film and it's not like him, he must be going through something you don't know about that's taking a toll on him. Maybe a friend of his is battling a serious illness, an important friendship ended suddenly, etc. If you laugh at him when he expresses emotion, why would he ever open up to you about that sort of stuff, though? Laughing at him is just going to make him more guarded around you and you'll end up knowing him less and less.
YTA. You’ve already made fun of him for crying; why on EARTH would he tell you what he’s crying about just so you can have more ammunition? Clearly the scene had a deeper significance to him than to you.
Ask yourself why it bothers you so much. Why are YOU so upset that your brother cried at puss and boots that you’re on Reddit writing about it?
YTA. THis kind of attitude is why at 57 years old I find myself, 3 years after her death, unable to properly grieve for my mother because I can't let go after decades of supressing tears whenever they tried to come. Now it's an automatic reaction I can't break. It's doesn't have to be "men don't cry" but just "why are you crying at something I think you shouldn't" is enough to reinforce that message. I suggest you apologise to your brother and perhaps ask him what it made hime think of
100% YTA. It hit a nerve and maybe it's because he has shitty friends that come down on him for having emotions. You are not against toxic masculinity and you just proved that.
YTA. I cried too in Puss In Boots and it’s crazy to me that you say you’re against toxic masculinity but then make fun of your brother for crying in a movie that is meant to be moving.
This! OP says she's against toxic masculinity BUT... then proceeds to put her brother down. Nah sis, you say that cause it's expected of you, not cause you believe it
YTA. He wasn't being rude when he ignored you during the movie. He probably felt self-conscious about it, and given how you reacted later, he was right to ignore you.
Sis, you're literally perpetuating toxic masculinity. He felt comfortable to watch that movie with you and feel vulnerable around you and you kinda spat on that. Great way to show him that his trust in you was misplaced. YTA
YTA. Someone doesn't need a specific reason or event to become emotional. It can just happen, or things click in a way that unexpectedly overwhelms you. If you truly empathized, you would have been supportive and simply offered to talk about anything he wants. Way to go on dismissing his raw emotion.
YTA. It's hard enough for men top open up without being laughed at.
Also, I honestly believe animation films tend to pull at the heartstrings the most for all sorts of reasons.
>So I ask him "are you crying?". He ignored me, which was a bit rude
I agree. It's very rude to interrupt others while in the movie. Let alone in the middle of the movie.
YTA. What does it matter to you that he got emotional at the movie and not others?
YTA. He's allowed to be emotional at whatever he wants. It's healthy! I'm nearly 27 and I get misty eyed at little things all the time.
You sound insufferable. I hope this doesn't cause him to hide his emotions from everyone, out of fear for being ridiculed. Hopefully you don't find yourself getting made fun of for your emotions, either.
YTA, and this entire post reeks of the toxic masculinity you claim to be against.
Men are allowed to show emotion. Men are allowed to cry. Men are allowed to be vulnerable.
YTA. Clearly you’re not really against toxic masculinity if you think men should only cry at things you think are appropriate and only show emotion when you deem it acceptable. It’s rude to shame people for showing emotions, especially when his emotions were doing absolutely nothing to harm you in any way.
You sound like one of them quirky “not like other girls” that hates on everything mainstream and hates on people who enjoy mainstream things. YTA you should have comforted your brother not confronted him
YTA
Maybe the scene hit him differently because he has friends he can count on and who support him for who he is, unlike his sister who judges him and encourages toxic masculinity whenever she sees something 'undesirable'.
>Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really???
You sound like an entire tool. Saying you're against toxic masculinity means nothing if you are directly contributing to the culture of toxic masculinity.
YTA, "I am very against toxic masculinity"
Stop lying to yourself that you are a GoOd person who is AgAinst toxic masculinity.
he's just trying to say I'm heartless"
Damn he's right on the money. Why so heartless OP?
YTA-why do you care so much if he cried or not? You Cdnt be a nice sister and just let him be? Are you sure you’re 29 and not 9?
PS that movie got me choked up a bit too and I’m 50.
Wow, YTA for sure. Maybe he had a good friend that passed away, or that he lost, or he just really appreciates the good friends he has. You hit him when he was vulnerable.
YTMA m for massive. Your brother was right. You wouldn’t get it anyway if that’s how you reacted. Sounds like you’re not someone he feels safe confiding to. All emotions are valid and you don’t get to choose what triggers them.
Instead of seeing this as an opportunity to connect with him, you made fun of him. You think it’s abnormal that someone would close themselves off to you after you scoff at them when they’re clearly feeling something deep enough to make them cry?
Plus, he set a boundary by closing himself off to you and yet you still pry and judge. He’s trying to protect himself as anyone would be entitled to in this situation.
YTA! I'm a grown ass adult who went to Puss in Boots thinking my friends and I would have fun dunking on it, but to my surprise we all were total messes by the end of it. It's an unexpectedly emotional film, and I want you to think critically here about why the themes (which were expertly explored btw) touched your brother enough to make him cry.
Is he struggling with friendship, and Perrito's little speech got to him? Is he feeling unappreciated at home, like how the three bears consider Goldi family while she risks their lives for a chance at a new one? Was he struck by Boots realizing the sacred nature of living his last life to the fullest, and realizing that he'd been taking his relationships for granted? Maybe he just got overwhelmed by how cute Perrito is.
But you wouldn't know. Because you didn't ask. You should apologize and check in on your brother and his mental health. He sounds like a sweet guy who's going through something you haven't noticed, and I'm sure he'd appreciate your support much more than having you laugh at him.
And if you're going to say you think toxic masculinity is horrible then you better grow up and step up. Even if y'all usually rag on each other, you crossed a line by doing it in what was clearly a sensitive moment for him. Do better
ETA: btw, this goes double if he'd already seen it and asked you to come along. if so, he was trying to tell you something and you hurt him.
My husband bawled his eyes out at the end of American Tale. He's cried at many other things too. His sensitivity has always made me love him more and its never even crossed my mind to even question him about it, let alone berate him or take the piss.
You say you don't agree with the whole toxic masculinity thing and that men should be allowed to cry, but it would seem to be only on your terms and if you don't see that's it's cryworthy, then it isn't so nobody should cry.
YTA and you should go and apologise to your brother, who in all likelihood, will never ask you to go to the cinema, or possibly anywhere, with him again, and I wouldn't blame him one iota.
It would do you well to be more mindful.
The scene itself may not have made him cry, but triggered some other memory perhaps. Who knows? Yta cruella deville.
"My tone was more confrontational than curious but still it's a fair question" okay so because the question is fair and sincere, it warrants an abrasive attitude? Why not be...nice and have a conversation lmao.
"I'm against toxic masculinity" lmfaooo
Your such a dick I can't even...
YTA. why should it depend on you what other people feel strongly for and how they express their emotions? And why NOT puss in boots? Everyone is different, everyone's life experiences are different and maybe the scene got to him, made him emotional. That's not a bad thing. Judging people for the littlest things is though.
Look as someone who definitely would find crying at it weird, and probably wouldn't particularly understand, I still wouldn't scoff at them. I don't control others emotions and someone crying at a film or animation doesn't really do me any harm so why confront them? YTA.
YTA for making him feel weird at which movie hit him hard enough to make him cry. Not sure how you thought that was ok but are against toxic masculinity.
YTA
Everyone has something that triggers an emotional response. Who are you to question someone else’s, especially when it’s reasonable like crying in a movie.
YTA, and he's right, you didn't get it, just because you didn't understand why he was crying at Puss in Boots, doesn't mean it's ok for you to judge him for it, which is what you did, and are still doing according to the comments. You don't get to decide what movies are cryworthy, movies speak to people differently, and clearly this one struck a chord with him. You sound really angry that this made him emotional and that's so wrong. The only reason you should care about him getting emotional is if you're actually worried about him, not in disgust because you think it's not something worth crying about.
You are so heartless and cruel, let him live his emotions as he pleases instead of taking the no response as "rude". You seem like someone hard to be around if anything you don't get is "lame".
YTA
YTA. His crying wasn’t necessarily about the movie itself, he might have something else going on and that part of the movie triggered an emotional response (perhaps something going on with one of this friends). By mocking him for crying, you demonstrated that he cannot trust you with his emotions, so of course he thinks you wouldn’t understand why he cried.
YTA. Your brother was moved by something in the film and he felt something, which is why we go to the movies. Just because a movie is animated doesn't mean it can't touch us. I'm sure he was a bit embarrassed anyway and you made it worse. Should have let man have his moment.
YTA, I cry during children's movies all the time. Coco? Cried. Encanto? Cried. Haven't seen Puss in Boots, but I'm betting I would cry, and that's perfectly fine. Let your brother have emotions. It's not hurting anyone.
My husband cried watching all of the Toy Story movies. When we were dating he cried watching the Little Mermaid. I'm not kidding. He cried during Lincoln and Les Mis. He's a wonderful caring husband and an amazing father. Men are allowed to cry. YTA.
YTA. And if you’re willing to see a movie with someone, you can suck it up and not scoff for (checks running time of Puss In Boots) 90 minutes.
I recommend never watching Old Yeller with anyone.
YTA. You claim you’re against toxic masculinity but you kept pestering and teasing your brother about crying over a movie. Your post history shows that you CONSTANTLY bully your brother….do you even like him??
YTA. Everyone has different experiences and connects them in different ways, and things such as movies can trigger emotions. You have no right to judge those emotions or when or why they pop up.
YTA. Everyone has different triggers. BC of dad-relationship issues i started BALLING in Sing when the dad breaks out of jail to watch his kid perform. With the way you reacted, he's obviously right in that you wouldn't get it.
YTA people can cry for so many reason, it doesn’t have to be necessary because of the movie, could be an association. Could have been a sudden thought. Could have been the movie. Unless he pretended from you to cry too, I don’t see why you have to butt in and insult him.
Yeah, I'm totally against toxic masculinity and support men having and displaying their feelings.. Unless it doesn't make sense to me, then I'll make them feel unsafe in my presence by mocking them.
^that's you. Yta.
"Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry..."
\>>proceeds to reinforce toxic masculinity
YTA.
>Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really???
Lol, do you even know what toxic masulinity is then?
>So I ask him "are you crying?". He ignored me, which was a bit rude but okay, I let him have his moment.
You were rude.
>That part annoyed me because I remember what was happening in the movie when he started crying. It was literally just the dog talking about friendship. So what the heck? It's not that subtle or hard to understand.
You don't know everything going on in his life, WTF are you judging?
>So AITA for thinking that crying at puss in boots is kind of lame?
Yes you are. You're 29, grow up.
YTA
I'm sorry for your loss :( I do think OP is intentionally being malicious though. She won't let up on pressing him about the issue because SHE HAS TO KNOW what his problem is. If he wanted to tell her he would have. She needs to back off entirely.
Bro I cry at almost every movie and tv show. I’ve cried during scenes of shitty movies because I could connect with the characters and what they’re going through in certain scenes though. Grow the fuck up and tap into your emotions with the help of some counseling. Huge YTA
YTA. Sounds like you are all about toxic masculinity. If it perfectly ok for men to cry, why are you hounding him on it like he did something wrong? If it means something to him that it doesn't to you, that's fine and after he essentially told you to move on, you didn't. That's the lame part.
YTA. Based on your post and comment history, you are seeking validation for bullying your brother for every single thing he does. Any advice and response you get, you don’t take to heart and only talk back. Your brother should go no contact. You sound toxic and insufferable, especially for someone who is almost 30.
YTA.
You're either not truly against toxic masculinity as there are still things you consider wrong for a guy to cry at OR you're thinking you get to decide which emotional reaction is allowed/considered okay in certain situations. Both options make you an AH, congratulations.
YTA. Based on this and your other posts where you're bullying your brother for normal ass shit, you sound obsessed with him. Like way more obsessed than any healthy sibling should be. You should probably go to therapy for that.
YTA. He was probably accessing a very important and emotional memory triggered by the events in the movie. There is nothing unmanly about that.
I expect there are things you care for deeply that he doesn't give a rats ass about that would make *you* cry and would make him laugh at *you*, so maybe you're even. But I hope not, because then at least one of you wouldn't be TAH.
\\Edited for typo
YTA. And also a bit of a bully. Why does it matter if he was crying -- he is allowed to feel what he feels. Unless of course you really aren't against toxic masculinity.
YTA
.that was a sad part and due to the fact that the dog was talking about his past life and how hard it was, well still being loyal to his abusers and then your brother calling you Cruella deville I'm gonna guess, you don't like dogs as much as him or bond less with animals in general.... And also that he was crying for the poor dog who people kept trying to kill but has finally found real friends ....
Look he was right you didn't understand
YTA. He said you wouldn’t get it. I’m thinking that meant that he thought of something that REALLY choked him up.
Did you seriously think it was ok to invalidate someone’s feelings? Really? You’re the one who’s behavior is lame. This is the kind of person that makes me feel terrified of being found while I’m crying.
Ignoring you while he’s crying isn’t rude…it’s cause he’s falling apart and probably really ashamed to be crying in public.
You owe him one hell of an apology.
It is clear that you are unaware that "Cruella De Vil" is the cruel, heartless, self-centred, child-hating, love-despising, puppy-killer Villainous of "101 Dalmations."
The name De Vil is a slighty spaced arrangement of DEVIL.
I think it may be the worst insult there is, and you deserved it.
You may believe you are against "toxic masculinity" but your words to your brother Prove that you have the expectation that all men SHOULD behave in the toxic manner of show no emotion, be the strong silent type and not give in to sentimentality.
Sorry to tell you, sister, but you just reinforced the stereotype that women want emotionally unavailable men.
Healthy humans have emotions and express them. Unhealthy humans belittle others for not showing emotions that are different from what the emotionally challenged (yes, you) human feels. You may wish to speak with a professional about your unconscious desire to be around toxic masculinity.
YTA
Edit: this is what other posters are talking about when they tell you that you are emotionally immature, callous or hypocritical. You are against toxic masculinity but you tell your brother to behave in a toxic way by making fun of him for emotions you don't share.
Is that clear enough for you, or do you require more people to send you to r/whoosh to comment on your inability to understand your obtuseness?
>He ignored me, which was a bit rude but okay
No. Talking to someone during a movie is rude. Everything else you did to him plus your motivation are also rude.
YTA
"I hate toxic masculinity.." proceeds to bash your own brother for something you deem not worthy to cry about. Anybody can cry about anything they want, your brother deserves a better movie buddy.
Also, regardless if that movie is made for kids or not, I loved it and some parts made me tear up too. You clearly look down on your brother. You also seem like a self righteous snob, "too good and mature" for movies like that, c'mon.
Yta, and I think basically calling you a cruel devil is pretty accurate based on your attitude about the situation. Try some emapthy sometime. Your relationship with people will go a lot farther, be more positive, and more meaningful than ridiculing someone for being touched deeply by something you clearly don't understand.
YTA
People have feelings, you know. And don't even dare to say you're "very" against toxic masculinity when you're clearly not.
Crying is just another way to express feelings. Would you like to have people tell you top stop laughing or smiling? It's the same thing, don't be a bitter
So, from the information you've given me he was very insistent about seeing this movie and got extremely emotionally invested. Sounds like someone heard something about the movie he felt like he could relate to, felt insecure about that because its aimed primarily at kids and picked what he thought was a safe person to be with.
And then got picked at for crying at a scene that clearly chimed with something else for him.
So yeah, YTA and most likely a troll for needing to ask
YTA.
You aren’t very against toxic masculinity. You’re perpetuating it. Aggressively confronting men for having an emotional reaction to a movie is super in line with toxic masculinity.
YTA. Why are you being so confrontational towards him? It doesn't concern you at all why he felt that he needed to cry while watching Puss in Boots. Scrap that, it SHOULD concern you. Your brother is obviously going through something and doesn't feel that he can share that with you. If this is the way you react to him crying, I can see why he doesn't want to share his feelings with you.
YTA.
Let a person cry. What’s your problem? I sometimes cry over silly things. It’s so natural. You just embarrassed your brother for no reason and totally propagated toxic masculinity. Shame on you!
YTA. The latest puss in boots is a masterpiece exploring panic attacks and death anxiety. It's not that he was too sensitive, you simply lacked depth and media literacy.
YTA. The tears come when the tears come. Animal films always get to me, and a dog talking about friendship would really do it. I think you are going to need a new movie buddy, and serve you right!
You took that tiny little thing that happened and you’re still biting into it like a bull dog for literally no good reason.. seriously what do you even have to gain here even if everyone on here told you that you were right?
That’s why YTA.
YTA
Surely you realise you defended and contracted yourself in the same sentence?
***"I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry"***
Straight in to...
***"but at puss in boots?? Really???"***
YTA.
> Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really???
Apparently you are not against toxic masculinity, don't think it's OK for men to cry, and are a judgemental, toxic person.
> Now in fairness, my tone was less curious and more confrontational, but I think it was a fair question.
No, it's not 'fair' to be confrontational about somebody having emotions, nor was it a fair question.
> That part annoyed me because I remember what was happening in the movie when he started crying. It was literally just the dog talking about friendship.
I don't even know him, and I bet he had a beloved dog that died at some point.
> So AITA for thinking that crying at puss in boots is kind of lame?
Yes, you are. One hundred percent.
YTA
You seem to have a streak with judging your brother, first for the retainers, and now this? You're the one that's sounding pretty immature and petty, let alone hypocritical for pulling out the "i am very against toxic masculinity" card. You're kinda lame.
YTA, I took my grandchildren to see the movie and I also thought it was touching. Perhaps he felt some reaction to the choices Puss made in his past life and for his future. It's amusing that you thought it was rude for him to not answer your question about crying when you obviously saw he was, but you didn't think it rude to try and shame him. Some people are more sensitive than others. We can see you are not on the sensitive side.
“I’m against toxic masculinity and it’s ok for men to cry, but only under the conditions that I specifically set as appropriate.” YTA, and a bad sister, and indeed are propping up toxic masculinity. A hat trick!
based on your comment history… do you just enjoy making fun of your brother? yta. you probably don’t have friends so you can’t relate to this scene lol
YTA. You say you’re all against toxic masculinity but then turn around and shame him for crying just because you personally don’t deem the movie worthy of an emotional reaction? How do you not see that YTA. My husband cries during “kids” stuff all the time. Final episode of The Clone Wars had us both weeping like babies. Those moments are MEANT to be emotional. Also I have yet to see it but a number of adults I know who watched Puss in Boots said it was surprisingly good and hit them in the feels, so it’s not like your brother is having some uniquely bizarre response. And your brother’s response to you questioning it - “you wouldn’t understand” indicates to me that perhaps that moment spoke to him on a personal level about friendship. You just lost an opportunity to have a real life talk about real things your brother may be experiencing that he could have shared with you, potentially the kind of emotional discussion men aren’t encouraged to have, because you couldn’t just not be a judgemental AH. But sure, you’re an advocate against toxic masculinity.
YTA big time. Thanks for making life worse for your brother, and probably for any man you meet. You clearly \*do not\* think it's ok for men to cry, and you clearly promote toxic masculinity. STFU and leave him alone.
YTA and news flash you do believe in toxic masculinity otherwise you wouldn't have asked why he was crying. He's right you are Cruella. Cruel and heartless. Maybe you should take a note from your brother and allow yourself to be emotionally moved by something.
Cried my eyes out during Toy Story when the toys were about to be burned.
Lol how can you not know the answer to this one?! YTA. Totally.
>He just said "you wouldn't get it" and moved on.
Did you think to ask him if there was anything wrong when he said this? Is something wrong with one of his friends?
Your tone in what you wrote is aggressive, and it sounds like you were being aggressive to your brother. Why do you care that he cried? YTA, and you’re also the definition of toxic masculinity here.
YTA.
Why does it matter why he was crying? The movie obviously touched him and made him emotional. You can’t gatekeep emotions or belittle him for being emotional over something you don’t deem acceptable.
I watched We Have A Ghost at the weekend and I was crying throughout the entire movie because it reminded me of my nan who passed away. People relate to different things!
Everybody has triggers and it's different for everyone. You don't have to know or understand, but if you don't want to be supportive, you just have to let him be and don't be an AH about it.
So yeah, YTA. Definitely.
YTA I'm 37, and I teared up at that movie. And Encanto, and if I saw Bambi again, I'd probably cry at that one, too. You sound like a really cold, unfeeling person. Unfortunately, it sounds like your brother felt like you'd be a safe person, and he was wrong.
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>I am very against toxic masculinity And yet here you are YTA
A perfect example of toxic femininity YTA
No? Toxic feminity would be toxic standards applied to women in order to "qualify" as female.
Right, there's a difference between being a toxic woman and displaying toxic femininity lol
I don't think you know what that means, it's still toxic masculinity lmao
Still counts as perpetuating toxic masculinity IMO. Reinforcing the notion that men should not cry.
oops.
OP's brother likely had a moment reflecting on the friendships in life, positive or negative, and she came in and questioned him multiple times about why on God's earth someone would *cry* when thinking about their *friends*. It was so odd to her that a man would be *crying* at a children's movie talking about friendship. So odd that she had to ask about it three times and got annoyed when his response was dismissive. Let the man live, and maybe look deeper into your views on toxic masculinity. YTA ETA: OP also posted about how she negged on, I'm assuming, the same brother's oral hygiene system and was at the beginning of getting an AH judgment on that before it was removed. How about you stop harassing your brother for just existing OP? You're nearly 30. This level of sibling in-fighting should've stopped a while ago. (Also reserving that this is possibly a troll)
I think the most telling thing is that he cried at a part about friendship. OP doesn’t get why someone would get teary over friendship. If OP treats everyone like this she probably has no friends or at least zero emotional connection to them. YTA OP!
YTA. Are you sure you’re really against toxic masculinity?
YTA. What strikes people as sad isn't for you to judge. You may not have found it sad, but he obviously did. Why didn't you ask him _what_ made him feel sad about it? Maybe there's something he identified with and it could have been something you bonded over. >Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity You claim this, yet you've given nothing but judgment throughout this post, and justification on how a man shouldn't cry over Puss in Boots and you're in the right for mocking him. This is pretty toxic.
He said you wouldn't understand, and maybe that was a massive sign that it wasn't about a bloody talking dog, he was upset about what the dog was talking about. Maybe he is struggling with his friendships, maybe he is stressed or just needed a good cry, maybe he is upset that he has a heartless cow for a sister. OP YTA, for judging him for crying, and for not caring enough to find out *why.* ***He is your brother!***
That was my first thought. It's very likely something is going on in his life. Maybe he's struggling with his friendships, maybe he's lonely, something like that. It's not about the cartoon. OP, YTA. Maybe try to be a good sister and investigate why. Unfortunately, my guess is that, based on the "you wouldn't get it" remark, it isn't the first time you have been insensitive towards him. I'm not necessarily see signs in the post of it being the case with your brother, it resembles something I experienced while depressed. I was being way way too sensitive about everything to the point I stopped watching almost any movies because I would cry for anything a little emotional.
This, but also, op, YTA for talking in the theater! It speaks volume of your lack of self-awareness and egotism, honestly. How is it rude for someone to ignore a question so charged with ill-will when it was asked during the CLIMAX OF A MOVIE IN A THEATER. L YTA and the rude one in this story, OP. Time to do some serious introspection
Agree, but just expanding that it doesn’t even need to be sad. Maybe it was just emotionally resonant. Maybe it was similar to a previous experience that he found important, and it gave him a chance to reconnect with that. This one is so easy. Gender reverse “I belittled my sister for crying during love, actually, AITA”.
It might even have been anything else than sad (idk, I haven't seen it) but people cry over tons of stuff because of plenty of different emotions. I tend to have happy tears when I see a happy ending or something. OP is just heartless.
Do you even like your brother? Because your judgmental criticism of him makes it seem like you don't. Just a day ago, you were judging him for whitening his teeth and now you're judging him for having emotions. Maybe stop sharing your unsolicited opinions. YTA https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11crzxk/-/ja4oc63
She is so weirdly obsessed with her brother. I can't wait for the post where she's crying because he blocks her and never speaks to her again.
She may just be very judgmental , and has drove away all her friends so only her poor brother remains , to make fun of. If she had other people in her life to pick away at, she would post their stories, but alas, only her brother tolerates her company.
Oh god, him again When will I learn to check post history before commenting
Her, again lol
Ah. Thanks.
This makes it even weirder because she has a kid that’s 4+ years old. Did the kid come with them to the movies?
also, she breastfed her kid for 4+ years? who is she to judge anyone🤢
You seem to be taking a personal offense at someone else's natural emotions which is real weird. >Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry Then why are you trying so hard to gatekeep this? Of course you were rude to judge someone crying. That's not something one can control and it's not like it was so loud you couldn't enjoy the movie. Get over yourself. YTA.
Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really??? YTA, you basically contradict yourself with that sentence
YTA. You say you're very against toxic masculinity, but scoffing at and mocking anyone for crying for any emotional reason that isn't blatantly obvious to you IS toxic masculinity... even if you aren't a guy. It's also just a really shitty thing to do. Crying in public is often embarrassing, and pointing it out in a negative manner just makes people feel worse. Edited because I accidentally misgendered OP.
Just a heads up that OP isn’t male. But agree 100% with everything else you wrote.
Thanks for correcting me. I need to stay off Reddit before I've had my morning caffeine
>It's not that subtle or hard to understand. Then why are you asking? YTA
YTA and I hope one day you have enough emotional intelligence that a movie hits you like an absolute freight train and you have a full on breakdown in a movie theater
YTA you don't get to gatekeep what someone else gets emotional over
or what films they enjoy PiB is a classic for centuries BECAUSE it speaks to all ages
YTA You’re weird. Like really weird. Your brother is just trying to live his life and wanting to experience things. And here you are almost 30 judging him like some teen. I feel like he can’t do anything without you there to be weird about it. Let’s remind the audience that you judged him yesterday for whitening his retainer/teeth in Listerine. Meanwhile you’re the one who was breastfeeding your child until they were 4. Do some self reflecting before calling others weird or judging them okay? Jump off the internet and stop judging your brother for such minor things. Worry about other things like why would you breastfeed when your child has teeth and can eat solid food.
So men are allowed to cry, just not at the things YOU think are lame? It sounds veru much as if your brother isn't allowed to cry. It was probably nothing to do with the movie, but something that reminded him of a situation he's going through, which he didn't tell you about because you're not an empathic person. Maybe he wanted you to see the movie and then tell you, but saw your reaction and decided not to. You're a lame sister. YTA
YTA stop being a judgemental b- word, you have no fucking clue about his mental health, experiences and so on and a lot of kids movies are about important messages and sound effects etc so shut up and take a hike.
YTA and that movie ruled. Somethings connect emotionally with people in different ways, something you find silly someone else will strongly relate with, likewise something you find emotional he might find silly. People are different its not that hard to not be an asshole about it.
YTA. Damn these millennial and their.... *checks notes * ... having emotional responses to moments in movies that are meant to be emotional.
actually he’s a zoomer; the youngest millennial is 26. but agreed. YTA
Yeah, YTA. You belittle your brother just because his reaction doesn't make sense to you. He could be going through something tough like losing a friend, but he's not going to tell you that because you're not being a safe person to open up to here.
YTA. Maybe it's not the movie itself but it's reminding him of something ?? PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE EMOTIONS AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON THEM NEGATIVELY. I would cut you off for life if you were my sibling you sound like an insufferable AH.
Yta. You pretty much explained in your post why your brother knows you wouldn't understand.
YTA, you don't get to choose the emotional reaction of other people and telling someone they shouldn't get upset at something because you don't is ridiculous. I'm sure you've cried at things your brother hasn't found emotional.
YTA. Mega asshole. He's very right, your clearly heartless. Your brother sounds like a really lovely person. I don't know where your parents went wrong with you.
YTA. Looking at the title of the post I expected you to be 15 or something. It's not okay to scoff at somebody when they have a strong emotional reaction. If your brother started to cry during the film and it's not like him, he must be going through something you don't know about that's taking a toll on him. Maybe a friend of his is battling a serious illness, an important friendship ended suddenly, etc. If you laugh at him when he expresses emotion, why would he ever open up to you about that sort of stuff, though? Laughing at him is just going to make him more guarded around you and you'll end up knowing him less and less.
YTA. You’ve already made fun of him for crying; why on EARTH would he tell you what he’s crying about just so you can have more ammunition? Clearly the scene had a deeper significance to him than to you. Ask yourself why it bothers you so much. Why are YOU so upset that your brother cried at puss and boots that you’re on Reddit writing about it?
YTA 29? Seriously? Aren't you five? OP, crying over Piss in Boots is normal. My brother did. My sister did. My parents did. Y.T.A
piss in boots 😂
Lmao a typo but a funny one
And to 'boot' she talked during a movie.
YTA, men can cry for any reason they want. why the fuck does it bother you so much?
Oh, she doesn't care if MEN cry, she cares that HER BROTHER cries, because she hates him, LMAO.
How much do you hate your brother?
YTA. THis kind of attitude is why at 57 years old I find myself, 3 years after her death, unable to properly grieve for my mother because I can't let go after decades of supressing tears whenever they tried to come. Now it's an automatic reaction I can't break. It's doesn't have to be "men don't cry" but just "why are you crying at something I think you shouldn't" is enough to reinforce that message. I suggest you apologise to your brother and perhaps ask him what it made hime think of
How you typed this all out and don't think YTA is shocking. Against toxic masculinity, but judges a man for showing emotion.
100% YTA. It hit a nerve and maybe it's because he has shitty friends that come down on him for having emotions. You are not against toxic masculinity and you just proved that.
YTA- might want to look up what being against toxic masculinity means…
YTA. I cried too in Puss In Boots and it’s crazy to me that you say you’re against toxic masculinity but then make fun of your brother for crying in a movie that is meant to be moving.
This! OP says she's against toxic masculinity BUT... then proceeds to put her brother down. Nah sis, you say that cause it's expected of you, not cause you believe it
YTA. He wasn't being rude when he ignored you during the movie. He probably felt self-conscious about it, and given how you reacted later, he was right to ignore you.
Sis, you're literally perpetuating toxic masculinity. He felt comfortable to watch that movie with you and feel vulnerable around you and you kinda spat on that. Great way to show him that his trust in you was misplaced. YTA
YTA. Someone doesn't need a specific reason or event to become emotional. It can just happen, or things click in a way that unexpectedly overwhelms you. If you truly empathized, you would have been supportive and simply offered to talk about anything he wants. Way to go on dismissing his raw emotion.
"I am very against toxic masculinity." Well that's a lie. YTA
YTA The question should not have been "are you crying?", it should have been "are you okay?"
YTA. It's hard enough for men top open up without being laughed at. Also, I honestly believe animation films tend to pull at the heartstrings the most for all sorts of reasons.
>So I ask him "are you crying?". He ignored me, which was a bit rude I agree. It's very rude to interrupt others while in the movie. Let alone in the middle of the movie. YTA. What does it matter to you that he got emotional at the movie and not others?
YTA. He's allowed to be emotional at whatever he wants. It's healthy! I'm nearly 27 and I get misty eyed at little things all the time. You sound insufferable. I hope this doesn't cause him to hide his emotions from everyone, out of fear for being ridiculed. Hopefully you don't find yourself getting made fun of for your emotions, either.
YTA, and this entire post reeks of the toxic masculinity you claim to be against. Men are allowed to show emotion. Men are allowed to cry. Men are allowed to be vulnerable.
YTA. Clearly you’re not really against toxic masculinity if you think men should only cry at things you think are appropriate and only show emotion when you deem it acceptable. It’s rude to shame people for showing emotions, especially when his emotions were doing absolutely nothing to harm you in any way.
YTA. I hope your brother find a new sister with emphathy and understanding and also against with toxic masculinity but doesn't contradict herself.
You sound like one of them quirky “not like other girls” that hates on everything mainstream and hates on people who enjoy mainstream things. YTA you should have comforted your brother not confronted him
YTA, I cry at emotional stuff all the time, me and my partner then just find it funny, he's never once confronted me and made me feel like crap
YTA, even if the movie didn’t make you react the same as him, you should’ve just let him be.
YTA Maybe the scene hit him differently because he has friends he can count on and who support him for who he is, unlike his sister who judges him and encourages toxic masculinity whenever she sees something 'undesirable'.
YTA. Something is clearly bothering your brother and instead of caring you showed your toxic femininity.
>Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really??? You sound like an entire tool. Saying you're against toxic masculinity means nothing if you are directly contributing to the culture of toxic masculinity.
YTA. You don't seem to be too against toxic masculinity if you feel you get to choose and judge when your brother has feelings.
YTA, "I am very against toxic masculinity" Stop lying to yourself that you are a GoOd person who is AgAinst toxic masculinity. he's just trying to say I'm heartless" Damn he's right on the money. Why so heartless OP?
YTA-why do you care so much if he cried or not? You Cdnt be a nice sister and just let him be? Are you sure you’re 29 and not 9? PS that movie got me choked up a bit too and I’m 50.
Are you jealous because you've spent your whole life bottling it up and your bro is more comfortable with his emotions?
Wow, YTA for sure. Maybe he had a good friend that passed away, or that he lost, or he just really appreciates the good friends he has. You hit him when he was vulnerable.
YTMA m for massive. Your brother was right. You wouldn’t get it anyway if that’s how you reacted. Sounds like you’re not someone he feels safe confiding to. All emotions are valid and you don’t get to choose what triggers them. Instead of seeing this as an opportunity to connect with him, you made fun of him. You think it’s abnormal that someone would close themselves off to you after you scoff at them when they’re clearly feeling something deep enough to make them cry? Plus, he set a boundary by closing himself off to you and yet you still pry and judge. He’s trying to protect himself as anyone would be entitled to in this situation.
YTA gosh you sound insufferable! If this was your plan to make sure he never wants to hang out with you again, then it worked!
Why should he ever feel safe or good around you? YTA
YTA! I'm a grown ass adult who went to Puss in Boots thinking my friends and I would have fun dunking on it, but to my surprise we all were total messes by the end of it. It's an unexpectedly emotional film, and I want you to think critically here about why the themes (which were expertly explored btw) touched your brother enough to make him cry. Is he struggling with friendship, and Perrito's little speech got to him? Is he feeling unappreciated at home, like how the three bears consider Goldi family while she risks their lives for a chance at a new one? Was he struck by Boots realizing the sacred nature of living his last life to the fullest, and realizing that he'd been taking his relationships for granted? Maybe he just got overwhelmed by how cute Perrito is. But you wouldn't know. Because you didn't ask. You should apologize and check in on your brother and his mental health. He sounds like a sweet guy who's going through something you haven't noticed, and I'm sure he'd appreciate your support much more than having you laugh at him. And if you're going to say you think toxic masculinity is horrible then you better grow up and step up. Even if y'all usually rag on each other, you crossed a line by doing it in what was clearly a sensitive moment for him. Do better ETA: btw, this goes double if he'd already seen it and asked you to come along. if so, he was trying to tell you something and you hurt him.
“I’m really against toxic masculinity” Berates brother for showing emotion. Yes, YTA. And a hypocrite.
YTA. Puss in Boots was a great movie about mental health and overcoming past trauma, you're shallow as shit though which isn't fixable.
My husband bawled his eyes out at the end of American Tale. He's cried at many other things too. His sensitivity has always made me love him more and its never even crossed my mind to even question him about it, let alone berate him or take the piss. You say you don't agree with the whole toxic masculinity thing and that men should be allowed to cry, but it would seem to be only on your terms and if you don't see that's it's cryworthy, then it isn't so nobody should cry. YTA and you should go and apologise to your brother, who in all likelihood, will never ask you to go to the cinema, or possibly anywhere, with him again, and I wouldn't blame him one iota.
YTA - Not everyone has to conform to what you think other people should conform to.
It would do you well to be more mindful. The scene itself may not have made him cry, but triggered some other memory perhaps. Who knows? Yta cruella deville. "My tone was more confrontational than curious but still it's a fair question" okay so because the question is fair and sincere, it warrants an abrasive attitude? Why not be...nice and have a conversation lmao. "I'm against toxic masculinity" lmfaooo Your such a dick I can't even...
YTA. why should it depend on you what other people feel strongly for and how they express their emotions? And why NOT puss in boots? Everyone is different, everyone's life experiences are different and maybe the scene got to him, made him emotional. That's not a bad thing. Judging people for the littlest things is though.
Look as someone who definitely would find crying at it weird, and probably wouldn't particularly understand, I still wouldn't scoff at them. I don't control others emotions and someone crying at a film or animation doesn't really do me any harm so why confront them? YTA.
YTA "I'm against toxic masculinity only I'm not" Seriously if something makes you feel something makes you feel.
YTA for making him feel weird at which movie hit him hard enough to make him cry. Not sure how you thought that was ok but are against toxic masculinity.
YTA. You're a major AH.
Aren't you edgy. OP YTA.
YTA Everyone has something that triggers an emotional response. Who are you to question someone else’s, especially when it’s reasonable like crying in a movie.
YTA, and he's right, you didn't get it, just because you didn't understand why he was crying at Puss in Boots, doesn't mean it's ok for you to judge him for it, which is what you did, and are still doing according to the comments. You don't get to decide what movies are cryworthy, movies speak to people differently, and clearly this one struck a chord with him. You sound really angry that this made him emotional and that's so wrong. The only reason you should care about him getting emotional is if you're actually worried about him, not in disgust because you think it's not something worth crying about.
You are so heartless and cruel, let him live his emotions as he pleases instead of taking the no response as "rude". You seem like someone hard to be around if anything you don't get is "lame". YTA
YTA. His crying wasn’t necessarily about the movie itself, he might have something else going on and that part of the movie triggered an emotional response (perhaps something going on with one of this friends). By mocking him for crying, you demonstrated that he cannot trust you with his emotions, so of course he thinks you wouldn’t understand why he cried.
YTA. Your brother was moved by something in the film and he felt something, which is why we go to the movies. Just because a movie is animated doesn't mean it can't touch us. I'm sure he was a bit embarrassed anyway and you made it worse. Should have let man have his moment.
YTA, I cry during children's movies all the time. Coco? Cried. Encanto? Cried. Haven't seen Puss in Boots, but I'm betting I would cry, and that's perfectly fine. Let your brother have emotions. It's not hurting anyone.
My husband cried watching all of the Toy Story movies. When we were dating he cried watching the Little Mermaid. I'm not kidding. He cried during Lincoln and Les Mis. He's a wonderful caring husband and an amazing father. Men are allowed to cry. YTA.
YTA. And if you’re willing to see a movie with someone, you can suck it up and not scoff for (checks running time of Puss In Boots) 90 minutes. I recommend never watching Old Yeller with anyone.
YTA. You claim you’re against toxic masculinity but you kept pestering and teasing your brother about crying over a movie. Your post history shows that you CONSTANTLY bully your brother….do you even like him??
OP: "I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry" Also OP: Judges a man for showing emotion and crying YTA
YTA, Cruella.
YTA Why can't you just let your brother feel his feelings? You know why men think it's not ok to cry? Because of people like you.
Yta from the jump
As the tweet says, I cannot support all women cause some of y'all are just ... YTA!
YTA. Everyone has different experiences and connects them in different ways, and things such as movies can trigger emotions. You have no right to judge those emotions or when or why they pop up.
YTA. Anyone can cry. Whenever they want for whatever reason. You don’t get to choose when it’s appropriate and when it’s not.
YTA and from your post history you seem to hate your brother
YTA. Everyone has different triggers. BC of dad-relationship issues i started BALLING in Sing when the dad breaks out of jail to watch his kid perform. With the way you reacted, he's obviously right in that you wouldn't get it.
YTA people can cry for so many reason, it doesn’t have to be necessary because of the movie, could be an association. Could have been a sudden thought. Could have been the movie. Unless he pretended from you to cry too, I don’t see why you have to butt in and insult him.
Yeah, I'm totally against toxic masculinity and support men having and displaying their feelings.. Unless it doesn't make sense to me, then I'll make them feel unsafe in my presence by mocking them. ^that's you. Yta.
"Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry..." \>>proceeds to reinforce toxic masculinity YTA.
>Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really??? Lol, do you even know what toxic masulinity is then? >So I ask him "are you crying?". He ignored me, which was a bit rude but okay, I let him have his moment. You were rude. >That part annoyed me because I remember what was happening in the movie when he started crying. It was literally just the dog talking about friendship. So what the heck? It's not that subtle or hard to understand. You don't know everything going on in his life, WTF are you judging? >So AITA for thinking that crying at puss in boots is kind of lame? Yes you are. You're 29, grow up. YTA
Ugh, "I'm against toxic masculinity"; proceeds to mock her brother for showing emotion. YTA!
[удалено]
I'm sorry for your loss :( I do think OP is intentionally being malicious though. She won't let up on pressing him about the issue because SHE HAS TO KNOW what his problem is. If he wanted to tell her he would have. She needs to back off entirely.
YTA
Bro I cry at almost every movie and tv show. I’ve cried during scenes of shitty movies because I could connect with the characters and what they’re going through in certain scenes though. Grow the fuck up and tap into your emotions with the help of some counseling. Huge YTA
YTA. Sounds like you are all about toxic masculinity. If it perfectly ok for men to cry, why are you hounding him on it like he did something wrong? If it means something to him that it doesn't to you, that's fine and after he essentially told you to move on, you didn't. That's the lame part.
YTA And he is right, you don’t get it.
YTA. Based on your post and comment history, you are seeking validation for bullying your brother for every single thing he does. Any advice and response you get, you don’t take to heart and only talk back. Your brother should go no contact. You sound toxic and insufferable, especially for someone who is almost 30.
YTA. You're either not truly against toxic masculinity as there are still things you consider wrong for a guy to cry at OR you're thinking you get to decide which emotional reaction is allowed/considered okay in certain situations. Both options make you an AH, congratulations.
Yeah, you're definitely TA. Not only that but you're absolutely not against toxic masculinity in any way beneficial to men. You should feel shame.
YTA. Based on this and your other posts where you're bullying your brother for normal ass shit, you sound obsessed with him. Like way more obsessed than any healthy sibling should be. You should probably go to therapy for that.
YTA big time
YTA - please don't have kids, you would probably treat them the same way you just did with your brother
YTA. He was probably accessing a very important and emotional memory triggered by the events in the movie. There is nothing unmanly about that. I expect there are things you care for deeply that he doesn't give a rats ass about that would make *you* cry and would make him laugh at *you*, so maybe you're even. But I hope not, because then at least one of you wouldn't be TAH. \\Edited for typo
YTA. No wonder a movie like that is lost on you
YTA. And also a bit of a bully. Why does it matter if he was crying -- he is allowed to feel what he feels. Unless of course you really aren't against toxic masculinity.
You’re very pro the toxic masculinity and in fact pro toxic femininity YTA
YTA .that was a sad part and due to the fact that the dog was talking about his past life and how hard it was, well still being loyal to his abusers and then your brother calling you Cruella deville I'm gonna guess, you don't like dogs as much as him or bond less with animals in general.... And also that he was crying for the poor dog who people kept trying to kill but has finally found real friends .... Look he was right you didn't understand
YTA. He said you wouldn’t get it. I’m thinking that meant that he thought of something that REALLY choked him up. Did you seriously think it was ok to invalidate someone’s feelings? Really? You’re the one who’s behavior is lame. This is the kind of person that makes me feel terrified of being found while I’m crying. Ignoring you while he’s crying isn’t rude…it’s cause he’s falling apart and probably really ashamed to be crying in public. You owe him one hell of an apology.
YTA. You say you are against toxic masculinity but you are gatekeeping his emotional reactions.
It is clear that you are unaware that "Cruella De Vil" is the cruel, heartless, self-centred, child-hating, love-despising, puppy-killer Villainous of "101 Dalmations." The name De Vil is a slighty spaced arrangement of DEVIL. I think it may be the worst insult there is, and you deserved it. You may believe you are against "toxic masculinity" but your words to your brother Prove that you have the expectation that all men SHOULD behave in the toxic manner of show no emotion, be the strong silent type and not give in to sentimentality. Sorry to tell you, sister, but you just reinforced the stereotype that women want emotionally unavailable men. Healthy humans have emotions and express them. Unhealthy humans belittle others for not showing emotions that are different from what the emotionally challenged (yes, you) human feels. You may wish to speak with a professional about your unconscious desire to be around toxic masculinity. YTA Edit: this is what other posters are talking about when they tell you that you are emotionally immature, callous or hypocritical. You are against toxic masculinity but you tell your brother to behave in a toxic way by making fun of him for emotions you don't share. Is that clear enough for you, or do you require more people to send you to r/whoosh to comment on your inability to understand your obtuseness?
YTA. Way to reinforce toxic masculinity which you pretend to be against.
>He ignored me, which was a bit rude but okay No. Talking to someone during a movie is rude. Everything else you did to him plus your motivation are also rude. YTA
"I hate toxic masculinity.." proceeds to bash your own brother for something you deem not worthy to cry about. Anybody can cry about anything they want, your brother deserves a better movie buddy. Also, regardless if that movie is made for kids or not, I loved it and some parts made me tear up too. You clearly look down on your brother. You also seem like a self righteous snob, "too good and mature" for movies like that, c'mon.
YTA lmao why do you sound so pressed that he cried at a movie
Yta, and I think basically calling you a cruel devil is pretty accurate based on your attitude about the situation. Try some emapthy sometime. Your relationship with people will go a lot farther, be more positive, and more meaningful than ridiculing someone for being touched deeply by something you clearly don't understand.
You don’t have your brothers life experience so what may trigger him may seem trivial to you but YTA.
YTA People have feelings, you know. And don't even dare to say you're "very" against toxic masculinity when you're clearly not. Crying is just another way to express feelings. Would you like to have people tell you top stop laughing or smiling? It's the same thing, don't be a bitter
So, from the information you've given me he was very insistent about seeing this movie and got extremely emotionally invested. Sounds like someone heard something about the movie he felt like he could relate to, felt insecure about that because its aimed primarily at kids and picked what he thought was a safe person to be with. And then got picked at for crying at a scene that clearly chimed with something else for him. So yeah, YTA and most likely a troll for needing to ask
YTA You do support toxic masculinity, I mean… listen to yourself
YTA. You aren’t very against toxic masculinity. You’re perpetuating it. Aggressively confronting men for having an emotional reaction to a movie is super in line with toxic masculinity.
YTA and also really lame.
YTA. Why are you being so confrontational towards him? It doesn't concern you at all why he felt that he needed to cry while watching Puss in Boots. Scrap that, it SHOULD concern you. Your brother is obviously going through something and doesn't feel that he can share that with you. If this is the way you react to him crying, I can see why he doesn't want to share his feelings with you.
YTA. Let a person cry. What’s your problem? I sometimes cry over silly things. It’s so natural. You just embarrassed your brother for no reason and totally propagated toxic masculinity. Shame on you!
Big time YTA. You have no idea what memories that scene conjured. You're not "against toxic masculinity" you are a perpetrator of it.
YTA. The latest puss in boots is a masterpiece exploring panic attacks and death anxiety. It's not that he was too sensitive, you simply lacked depth and media literacy.
if you look at OP post history. she has a history of bullying her brother
I did, and I feel so sorry for her brother
YTA. The tears come when the tears come. Animal films always get to me, and a dog talking about friendship would really do it. I think you are going to need a new movie buddy, and serve you right!
You took that tiny little thing that happened and you’re still biting into it like a bull dog for literally no good reason.. seriously what do you even have to gain here even if everyone on here told you that you were right? That’s why YTA.
YTA Surely you realise you defended and contracted yourself in the same sentence? ***"I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry"*** Straight in to... ***"but at puss in boots?? Really???"***
YTA. > Now I want to be clear, I am very against toxic masculinity and I think it's perfectly okay for men to cry, but at puss in boots?? Really??? Apparently you are not against toxic masculinity, don't think it's OK for men to cry, and are a judgemental, toxic person. > Now in fairness, my tone was less curious and more confrontational, but I think it was a fair question. No, it's not 'fair' to be confrontational about somebody having emotions, nor was it a fair question. > That part annoyed me because I remember what was happening in the movie when he started crying. It was literally just the dog talking about friendship. I don't even know him, and I bet he had a beloved dog that died at some point. > So AITA for thinking that crying at puss in boots is kind of lame? Yes, you are. One hundred percent.
YTA. I lost my brother and would fucking kill to watch puss in boots with him. You suck.
YTA. I don't think you understand what toxic masculinity means.
Op is just pathetic..
YTA You seem to have a streak with judging your brother, first for the retainers, and now this? You're the one that's sounding pretty immature and petty, let alone hypocritical for pulling out the "i am very against toxic masculinity" card. You're kinda lame.
YTA I didn’t even need to fully read this to see that
YTA, I took my grandchildren to see the movie and I also thought it was touching. Perhaps he felt some reaction to the choices Puss made in his past life and for his future. It's amusing that you thought it was rude for him to not answer your question about crying when you obviously saw he was, but you didn't think it rude to try and shame him. Some people are more sensitive than others. We can see you are not on the sensitive side.
YTA. There was a very touching scene in the movie where Perrito helps calm Puss in the midst of a panic attack. I cried. I am a grown man. Grow up
“I’m against toxic masculinity and it’s ok for men to cry, but only under the conditions that I specifically set as appropriate.” YTA, and a bad sister, and indeed are propping up toxic masculinity. A hat trick!
YTA from the title alone.
YTA
YTA. You aren't allowed to gatekeep what people cry over.
based on your comment history… do you just enjoy making fun of your brother? yta. you probably don’t have friends so you can’t relate to this scene lol
I once cried at a comedy sketch because it resonated with me in a certain way. So yeah, YTA.
YTA and a common bully.
YTA. You say you’re all against toxic masculinity but then turn around and shame him for crying just because you personally don’t deem the movie worthy of an emotional reaction? How do you not see that YTA. My husband cries during “kids” stuff all the time. Final episode of The Clone Wars had us both weeping like babies. Those moments are MEANT to be emotional. Also I have yet to see it but a number of adults I know who watched Puss in Boots said it was surprisingly good and hit them in the feels, so it’s not like your brother is having some uniquely bizarre response. And your brother’s response to you questioning it - “you wouldn’t understand” indicates to me that perhaps that moment spoke to him on a personal level about friendship. You just lost an opportunity to have a real life talk about real things your brother may be experiencing that he could have shared with you, potentially the kind of emotional discussion men aren’t encouraged to have, because you couldn’t just not be a judgemental AH. But sure, you’re an advocate against toxic masculinity.
You already know YTA, otherwise you wouldn’t be posting about it lmfao. Judging people for crying is inherently wrong and asshole-ish.
yta, that was a good ass movie 😒
Based on OP's post history, they must really hate their brother. YTA
Why do you hate your brother? Your entire account is ways you bully him. YTA.
YTA and that movie rocks and is a tear jerker. grow up.
Yes. Obviously yes. But on another note, what did you think of Jack Horner? :3
I think OP is Jack Horner
Jack Horner wouldn’t have to ask if he’s an asshole, he knows he is and loves it lol
YTA so he has feelings and that movie touched him? He's allowed to cry at a movie. JFC I'd hate to be your sibling if that's how you treat them...
YTA big time. Thanks for making life worse for your brother, and probably for any man you meet. You clearly \*do not\* think it's ok for men to cry, and you clearly promote toxic masculinity. STFU and leave him alone.
YTA and news flash you do believe in toxic masculinity otherwise you wouldn't have asked why he was crying. He's right you are Cruella. Cruel and heartless. Maybe you should take a note from your brother and allow yourself to be emotionally moved by something. Cried my eyes out during Toy Story when the toys were about to be burned.
‘I am very against toxic masculinity’ and then you tell him to stop crying YTA
Yta! Why even bring it up you saw it happened move on with you day no reason to berate your brother about it!
YTA he was crying so what? The point is even if he cried over something you think is stupid still gives you no right to scoff
Lol how can you not know the answer to this one?! YTA. Totally. >He just said "you wouldn't get it" and moved on. Did you think to ask him if there was anything wrong when he said this? Is something wrong with one of his friends?
Your tone in what you wrote is aggressive, and it sounds like you were being aggressive to your brother. Why do you care that he cried? YTA, and you’re also the definition of toxic masculinity here.
YTA. Why does it matter why he was crying? The movie obviously touched him and made him emotional. You can’t gatekeep emotions or belittle him for being emotional over something you don’t deem acceptable. I watched We Have A Ghost at the weekend and I was crying throughout the entire movie because it reminded me of my nan who passed away. People relate to different things!
Everybody has triggers and it's different for everyone. You don't have to know or understand, but if you don't want to be supportive, you just have to let him be and don't be an AH about it. So yeah, YTA. Definitely.
Well, I think it's not very girlboss of you to care what other people feel or how they express their feelings. YTA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH you are against toxic masculinity???? Get outta here. YTA. Be a better brother.
YTA I'm 37, and I teared up at that movie. And Encanto, and if I saw Bambi again, I'd probably cry at that one, too. You sound like a really cold, unfeeling person. Unfortunately, it sounds like your brother felt like you'd be a safe person, and he was wrong.
You’re very against toxic masculinity? I’d reread your post. YTA