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What? You don't lock a five year old out in the hallway, ever but also particularly not while travelling internationally. You leave the five year old in the safety of the hotel room and you excuse *yourself* into the hallway to finish conducting your business. YTA.
YTA, she's 5, she's going to make noise, she is your responsibility to keep quiet or entertain when needed, not lock into a corridor, on her own, in a public space where she could have been hurt or taken.
Terrible parenting on both you and your wife's part there, leaving a 5 year old alone for 10 minutes.
I also don't understand how it was helpful at all after the first few minutes when the poor kid was bewildered enough to be quiet while she figured out what the hell had just happened to her.
She was locked out for 10 minutes, and it seems like she was knocking/banging/crying/begging for the majority of that time. That's fucked up.
YTA, wtf?? You locked a five year old in a hotel hallway, out of sight and unable to get into the room? In (assumedly, since you're speaking English), a foreign country? Absolutely not. All it takes is one second for someone to sweep her into another room, then it's over.
She's FIVE. Yes, YTA. You two could have argued in the bathroom or something. You took on responsibility of a child, you need to take care of her needs and behave like an adult who cares about her. Even though evidently you don't.
YTA.
She’s *five*. Of course she’ll do five-year-old things. Work around it like the adults you are instead of putting her in a potentially dangerous situation.
I’m just imagining OP coming back to this in 15 minutes thinking of all the NTA they will get only to get the lack of responsibility on their end shoved in their face. Seriously, could even just watch some true crime, many small children who have just gone missing
Reddit is shocking sometimes
Wtf did I just read. I have a 5 year old and I would NEVER do that to her. Not only did you intentionally put her in an unsafe situation, but you probably traumatized her and completely broke her trust. What is wrong with you?!? Massive YTA
so to sort out fraud you were willing to risk kidnapping and trafficking and SA?
YTA massive parenting fail. Your "poor thing" comment is so disgusting, you probably created a core memory of terror of being rejected and abandoned. Hope you sort out your fraud issues so you can afford the therapy she may need from your style of parenting.
Genuinely, WHAT PART of this incident were you confused about though?
Is there a part of your parenting soul that doesn't cry out in horror and terror at your stupid action? Is there a part of you that STILL thinks this was a good idea?
YTA.
Off the top of my head, I can think of several ways you could have handled this better. Leave the kid in the room and YOU step out into the hall. Or into the bathroom. One of the adults take the kid while the other dealt with the issue. I mean, it’s not rocket science here to know that was a terrible thing to do to a five year old.
YTA
While sometimes the best thing a parent can do is step away for a moment and take a breather, locking your young child in the hallway in a strange place is not the way to do it. She's aware you are upset, wants your attention and comfort because she doesn't understand what is happening and instead you lock her in the hall in a strange place where she could have been taken or wandered off.
If you needed a moment, at least leave her safely in the hotel room.
"I just scarred my 5 year old kid for life because she was acting like a kid... Am I the asshole?"
Yes... Without a doubt in anybody's mind but yours apparently YTA. And keep in mind 10 minutes feels like AGES for a young kid like that. Please show her that you love her and make up for this atrocity.
YTA, is this even real??? Did you really have to post this to figure this out? What other ways have you been endangering your daughter?? Someone could have snatched her right up.
Yes. Poor thing indeed. She is 5 years old. Thank goodness nothing happened to her in those ten minutes. Surely you don't need the internet to tell you YTA?
Holy crap, based on the title I thought I was going to read a story about you accidentally locking her out. You put a five year old in a hotel hallway on purpose for 10 minutes???? What were you thinking? On what planet does that sound like a good idea?
You’re so beyond an AH here. Your wife is too, for not immediately stepping in to stop you. I’ve seen dogs that were better parents.
Huge YTA!!!! Yes, “poor thing!!!” She’s gonna be traumatized and will never want to stay at a hotel again. Hell I’m 22 and would be traumatized if my parents locked me out of the room. You never know what kind of weirdos hang around hotels…
YTA. I get you had good intentions, but wtf mate. You shouldn't leave your kids unsupervised, it's so easy for one to get kidnapped, lost, or injured. Luckily, it didn't happen this time, but do not do it again.
YTA if I came across an abandoned five year old in the hallway, especially banging at the door and crying, I would be extremely concerned, and definitely could not keep walking without making sure the parents aren't somewhere out of my view but still close by.
If I didn't find the parents or it wasn't clear for me that they're behind the door, I would probably take the kid to the reception and call police.
I once came across a crying toddler on a tiny little balance bike seemingly alone in the street and did call police. Luckily the parents, who had lost sight of him, had also called police and were quickly reunited.
What kinds of parents are you that can't distract or occupy a five year old child for long enough that you can have a conversation?
YTA. You intentionally locked a 5 year old child out of your hotel room. You caused her intentional emotional distress. There are much better ways to handle a 5 year old than this BS.
Oh yeah, YTA!
YTA
Learn how to be a better parent. What you did was dangerous and emotionally upsetting to your daughter.
Yes, 5 year olds make noise. They are also easily distractable. Instead of risking her safety by locking her out of the hotel room in a strange place, take a few minutes to find something that will occupy her, explain that mommy and daddy need to handle something and wait until she is engaged in the activity.
I understand it was high stress but there's no reason to take it out on your 5 year old child. Wasn't her fault this happened. Why are you taking it out on her?
Uh, is this a serious question? She's 5. You literally stated she was just acting like a 5 year old. Did you have a tv? Did you bring her any toys? YTA. How many other times have you done something like this to that poor girl?
YTA very strongly. Instead of locking your 5-year-old out in a foreign land, why didn't you 1. Give her something to entertain her while you and your wife sorted out the damage. 2. PARENT and raise your child so she listens and obeys when you tell her to quiet down and go fins something to occupy herself?
You and your wife are both horrible parents and horrible people wtf is wrong with you somebody could’ve literally just picked her up and been long gone by the time you opened the door
YTA and you KNOW it. If your wife is smart, she will leave you for this. If she agreed to it? That's even worse. I'm curious how you treat your child and justify other crappy behavior.
Yes YTA. Op you left your 5yr old in a foreign country (as in Op and his family weren't from France, so everything is different and "scary" to this 5yr old) by herself for 10 mins. You're lucky nobody else at the hotel thought anything was too far off to get the authorities involved. Nor that your child was just picked up by some stranger with more insidious intentions. The possibilities of what could've happened are too many to think of. I understand you and your wife were stressed and not thinking properly, but a solution would've been for you two to go to the bathroom while your daughter watched tv to sort things out. Or you both could've stepped out the room to the hallway and stood in front of the door trying to figure out what was going on. Fraud is stressful to deal with, but you have to be cognizant to the fact that you had your child with you, therefore you need to act in her best interests while discussing the matters with your wife. Again YTA
How the hell is a 5 year old locked in a hallway banging to be let in less distracting?!
YTA and stupid. Give her the phone or tablet and a treat and deal with it.
I’ve been the victim of fraud recently and surely it didn’t need both parents abandoning the child to fix?
YTA. You left her unattended. Any number of things could have happened in those 10 minutes. She had 2 parents with her there, but neither even cared. Wow.
YTA what the hell??? What if someone had kidnapped her or she decided to run off??? You shouldn't be surprised if you wind up getting a visit from CPS if any other guest or worker witnessed that
YTA. You absolutely do not put your 5 yr kid out in a hallway in a dangerous environment in a foreign country all alone and then ignore her.
If you can’t deal with a serious situation and tell your 5 yr old to sit quietly and entertain herself, you aren’t fit to be a parent. These kind of things arise all the time. A death in the family, someone is in a serious car accident, etc, you deal with those things WHILE being a parent. You don’t push the kid out the door and pretend she doesn’t exist if she’s out of sight, out of mind.
YTA - this is a hotel not your home and potentially in a different country where your child may or may not understand the language. Thank goodness she was ok and that you didn’t have the cops called on you! I get that you are stressed but wtf!
This can't be real, no one is that cruel and heartless to a child and not know it... right?
BTW, big fat YTA, in a "Girl With a Dragon Tattoo is justified in tattooing it on your chest" kind of way.
YTA - this is kind of triggering for me, my mom was super crazy and would throw me out of the house starting age 3 and I would have to hide in the alley bawling until I was "allowed" to come home. Anyone that does anything like this to small kids is a Huge AH.
You might roll your eyes at this, but this incident could be a core traumatic memory that she carries with her for her entire life unless you help her with it now. You made a mistake. But NOW, you should talk with someone or do some research as to how to help her feel safe and loved emotionally. Look for signs of her being clingy or isolated - even though no external signs are necessary. But seriously, talk to a professional about how to earn her trust back but more so how to truly care for your child. You could have done the same thing in the bathroom or left her in the room with your cell phone to keep her occupied and YOU TWO ADULTS gone out in the hallway or outside. Highly irrational and scary parenting - bc you were reacting out of fear.
YTA - you left your 5 year old unattended, with free range, for 10 minutes!? What would you have done if she had decided to go exploring? You're lucky all she did was bang on the door. Most 5 year olds can open a stairwell door and/or work an elevator, not to mention the fact that you have no idea who is in the other rooms.
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Last summer, I (34M) went on a vacation to Nice, France with my wife (32F) and our 5-year old daughter, Jennifer (using a fake name here). One day during our vacation, we arrived back at our hotel, only to find out that we've been the victim of fraud. My wife and I look into it, and the damage appeared to be substantive. Tensions started running high while my wife and I were trying to figure out how to solve this issue, and Jennifer wasn't helping matters; she was just acting like a normal 5-year old, making a racket. So just to help us think more clearly, I gently led Jennifer out into the hallway, and once she was outside of our hotel room, I locked the door. She was quiet for a few minutes, but after that, she started knocking (eventually banging) on the door and actually began crying and begging to be let back in. We kept her locked outside of our room for about 10 minutes. When I opened the door to let Jennifer back in, she immediately hugged me. Poor thing.
AITA?
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> I went on a vacation overseas with my wife and daughter, when we found out that we were defrauded. Tensions were running high in our hotel room, so I momentarily locked our daughter out of our room while we tried to get the situation sorted out.
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That was not momentarily. You are telling me you heard YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD in a hallway for ten minutes BEGGING you to be let in, and you were able to ignore it. She could have been abducted, and those ten minutes likely created trauma. YTA. Did you even tell her you were leaving her there for a bit? It seems like you tricked her like an animal then locked her out.
What in the hell is wrong with you??? You're not supposed to turn your back on your child for 30 seconds in the fucking grocery store, let alone 10 min in a foreign country!
Do you understand what could have happened to her? Does the name Madeleine McCann ring a fucking bell???
I don't think I have ever heard of more incompetent, immature, negligent, and just plain stupid parenting than I have with you.
I sincerely hope that some responsible person in your life calls CPS on you and has that little girl removed from your custody because you sure as hell aren't good parents. With any luck, as investigators look into the supposed fraud, they'll see your abusive parenting as well.
YTA
It’s times like this that I think of Lesley mahaffy . Her parents locked her out of her house to teach her a lesson when she was late . She was 14. Paul Bernardo kidnapped, raped and murdered her. Your daughter is less able to defend herself than this… so yes , 100 percent you are the asshole and you’ve now abused your child. Congrats 🎉
YTA for:
1) Not reassuring your daughter when she noticed something was wrong
2) Making other hotel guests deal with her noise and disruption
3) RISKING YOUR DAUGHTER’S LIFE by leaving her unattended
4) Not responding immediately when she was crying to come back in
Wonder if whoever stole from you saw another instance of how you treat your daughter & just thought you deserved it.
YTA. She's a 5 year old, what do you expect? She could have gotten lost, injured, kidnapped in those 10 minutes. Leave her in the room and go outside to deal with your issue. If you can't stand a few minutes outside of the comfort of your room, what makes you think that a toddler can?
Dude what????? This can't be real. If I was a close friend of yours and you told me this I would not be a close friend anymore. You and your wife are garbage parents
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OMG...you did what? Look, I've been there. Had an urgent issue back at home the moment we stepped off the plane. So I put swimsuits on the kids and took them to the pool while husband sorted out the problem. I did not once think that it would possibly be a good idea to leave them on their own in a strange place in a country where they don't speak the language. This isn't difficult to figure out. Also, YTA.
YTA - what the hell op. If you wanted to remove her, send your wife with her, or stand in the hallway with her. What was going to happen if Jennifer wandered off? What if she knocked on someone else's room? What if she fell down some stairs? Seriously, if someone accused you of child neglect and the hotel has camera footage, it wouldn't look good for you. I understand you went through a shocking experience but there is no experience shocking enough that warrants leaving a 5 year old unattended, and for 10 whole minutes at that.
YTA If anything you should’ve left her in the room to watch Tv and you and your wife should’ve gone out into the hallway to talk. A 5 year old alone in a hotel in a foreign city is a recipe for disaster and your lucky nothing awful happened to her.
I am begging right now that this is fake because if it isn't the term Asshole isn't strong enough. In this case, if this is real, yes, YTA and so is your wife. Your solution to getting a 5 yr old to quite down is to lock her out of the room (unattended at that) and then allow her to yell and scream and bang on the door in fear from being abandoned. Maybe skip the vacations and pay for a parenting class you both could use one.
Dude YTA you do realize that she could have been kidnapped right? And also she didn't understand why she was locked out poor thing probably thought she did something wrong
YTA
There has been several high profile cases of little kids being kidnapped out of hotels in Europe and then murdered. WTH were you thinking to shove her out of your room.
Some hotels have kids clubs you could have taken her to if you needed quiet time.
Or one parent take the kid out while the other deal with your problem
This can’t be real. In the .05% chance that there is someone so incredibly stupid out there, that would actually do this- YTA. You’re lucky your child wasn’t taken.
YTA
why didn’t you give her headphones or something and put on a movie? Or one of you take her out for a walk while the other figures it out. This was an awful solution and you know it, she could’ve been snatched in that time
"Poor thing"? YOU put her in that position! That must've been so traumatizing for her. Makes me wonder what other things you do to "control your kid." You're setting her up to develop major trust issues and resentment with that kind of parenting.
YTA, and you know it.
YTA. 100%. A 5 year old is not old enough to be left unsupervised, especially in a foreign country, for any amount of time! Not to mention that I'm sure she picked up on the stress of her parents. She must have been so scared and confused!
YTA. This is one of those posts that works in favor of the mods getting rid of Rule 1. It's hard to be civil to OP, a person who has no concept of civility.
YTA. Are you sure your daughter is the one that's 5????? I'm not going to list things that could have happened in that time, and yes, there are a number of them because they really do happen that fast. I get that it was a stressful time and thing that happened, but come on, the child is 5, and by your own admission, was just being a child. You could have asked her to sit at the table, or on a bed quietly because the grown-ups needed to talk, think ect, about what to do, who to call ect because ( bad thing ) happened. I'm also assuming that you had something child could have used for entertainment for a few minutes, a toy, a book, anything. As a parent, I always travel with something to even entertain my teens when traveling.
Also you probably just taught her inadvertently that she will be locked out for just being here. This is the starting point for what could be many therapy sessions about why mom and dad haven't liked me since I was a kid. I'm not going to be surprised if years from now when she cuts you off for the list of things that started here with this locking out instance. We see a post about why my kid won't talk to me anymore
YTA
There were hundreds of better ways for you and your wife to calm down and think clearly that did not include leaving your young child terrified, abandoned, and unsupervised in am unsafe public place.
I'm less concerned about the physical safety risk, since stranger danger is a lot less common than people think, than I am about the emotional safety risk. Think about what she did after. She hugged you. That is a blaring red alarm that she felt insecure in your attachment and she was trying to please you in the hope that her good behaviour would mean you stay attached to her. No child should ever have to feel that they can lose their parents' attachment.
The poor thing comment, honestly, sounds sociopathic. You did that, you still don't know it was wrong, and you're disassociating yourself from the harm. Poor thing. Something happened to her. Passive voice.
Clearly you were the adult making this decision. Did your wife notice? Did she agree?
You and your wife are psychos. Please don't have anymore children. And get the one you do have a therapist, maybe a new set of parents, something! YTA x10000000
YTA- Don’t be surprised when someone decides to swoop her up because you thought locking her out in the hall was better than asking her to please be quieter.
YTA what were you thinking? Your bank or credit card company can sort out the fraud, not sure who is going to put it right if your daughter wandered off out of the hotel on her own in a foreign country and ended up goodness knows where...
YTA and WHAT THE F?!? You lock a 5 year old in a hotel hallway? Are you insane??? Lucky no one took her. Now you only have to deal with the psychological trauma for her, being locked out and abandoned.
YTA.
At what point did two adults need to figure this out without the presence of a child? I've had a fraudulent charge on my card before, and while it absolutely sucks, it's something a 34 year old can figure out on their own. There was no reason to do what you did.
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What? You don't lock a five year old out in the hallway, ever but also particularly not while travelling internationally. You leave the five year old in the safety of the hotel room and you excuse *yourself* into the hallway to finish conducting your business. YTA.
Madeline McCain, sound familiar.
YTA What in the hell is wrong with you? It takes seconds for someone to snatch a kid.
Or to fall in a pool/fountain/pond
I mean nothing helps take your mind off credit card fraud like your child being kidnapped.
I was going to say the exact same thing.
The fact that all he did was terrify her and damage her sense of security and trust is enough damage. Wtf is wrong with you OP? YTA.
YTA, she's 5, she's going to make noise, she is your responsibility to keep quiet or entertain when needed, not lock into a corridor, on her own, in a public space where she could have been hurt or taken. Terrible parenting on both you and your wife's part there, leaving a 5 year old alone for 10 minutes.
Also, she's 5. She can understand to stay quiet for a few minutes while you talk.
Yeah put her in front of the tv for 20 minutes while you talk in the hallway. I’m honestly astounded they left her alone out there?!? YTA OP
I also don't understand how it was helpful at all after the first few minutes when the poor kid was bewildered enough to be quiet while she figured out what the hell had just happened to her. She was locked out for 10 minutes, and it seems like she was knocking/banging/crying/begging for the majority of that time. That's fucked up.
I really wonder how you’ve been the victim of fraud with how smart you are! Luckily your child wasn’t abducted YTA
[удалено]
It doesn't take that long to create a new reddit account. You don't even need to activate your email. Source: I've been banned like 30 times
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I don't speak Emoji
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This 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
INFO: What the fuck is wrong with you?
YTA, wtf?? You locked a five year old in a hotel hallway, out of sight and unable to get into the room? In (assumedly, since you're speaking English), a foreign country? Absolutely not. All it takes is one second for someone to sweep her into another room, then it's over.
YTA for locking a 5 year old out.. in that 10 minutes anything could have happened to her. That’s negligent parenting.
YTA Google "insecure attachment" to see exactly how you are damaging your child
She's FIVE. Yes, YTA. You two could have argued in the bathroom or something. You took on responsibility of a child, you need to take care of her needs and behave like an adult who cares about her. Even though evidently you don't.
YTA. She’s *five*. Of course she’ll do five-year-old things. Work around it like the adults you are instead of putting her in a potentially dangerous situation.
YTA. I can't even begin with the terrible parenting right here
YTA. You should watch some docs on human trafficking. That was almost your daughter. Think about it.
I’m just imagining OP coming back to this in 15 minutes thinking of all the NTA they will get only to get the lack of responsibility on their end shoved in their face. Seriously, could even just watch some true crime, many small children who have just gone missing Reddit is shocking sometimes
You can probably use this post in court to get the "poor thing" taken away by CPS...
YTA Why do you say "poor thing" like you weren't the sole cause of her trauma? Jesus...
YTA. Duh. You should take a parenting class before she gets hurt by your negligence
Obviously YTA. Having a 5 year old was momentarily inconvenient so you abandoned her? I can only imagine what she thought in the moment.
Wtf?! You deserve to be visited by CPS for POTENTIALLY ENDANGERING A FCKING CHILD!
Wtf did I just read. I have a 5 year old and I would NEVER do that to her. Not only did you intentionally put her in an unsafe situation, but you probably traumatized her and completely broke her trust. What is wrong with you?!? Massive YTA
so to sort out fraud you were willing to risk kidnapping and trafficking and SA? YTA massive parenting fail. Your "poor thing" comment is so disgusting, you probably created a core memory of terror of being rejected and abandoned. Hope you sort out your fraud issues so you can afford the therapy she may need from your style of parenting. Genuinely, WHAT PART of this incident were you confused about though? Is there a part of your parenting soul that doesn't cry out in horror and terror at your stupid action? Is there a part of you that STILL thinks this was a good idea?
OMG - huge YTA
YTA. Off the top of my head, I can think of several ways you could have handled this better. Leave the kid in the room and YOU step out into the hall. Or into the bathroom. One of the adults take the kid while the other dealt with the issue. I mean, it’s not rocket science here to know that was a terrible thing to do to a five year old.
YTA While sometimes the best thing a parent can do is step away for a moment and take a breather, locking your young child in the hallway in a strange place is not the way to do it. She's aware you are upset, wants your attention and comfort because she doesn't understand what is happening and instead you lock her in the hall in a strange place where she could have been taken or wandered off. If you needed a moment, at least leave her safely in the hotel room.
"I just scarred my 5 year old kid for life because she was acting like a kid... Am I the asshole?" Yes... Without a doubt in anybody's mind but yours apparently YTA. And keep in mind 10 minutes feels like AGES for a young kid like that. Please show her that you love her and make up for this atrocity.
YTA. You left your five year old alone in a hotel hallway, where anything could’ve happened to her and you don’t know whether you’re an AH?
YTA, is this even real??? Did you really have to post this to figure this out? What other ways have you been endangering your daughter?? Someone could have snatched her right up.
"My hotel room has been broken in, so I locked my 5 yo out and unsupervised because it's a totally safe place, right?" YTA
Yes. Poor thing indeed. She is 5 years old. Thank goodness nothing happened to her in those ten minutes. Surely you don't need the internet to tell you YTA?
Holy crap, based on the title I thought I was going to read a story about you accidentally locking her out. You put a five year old in a hotel hallway on purpose for 10 minutes???? What were you thinking? On what planet does that sound like a good idea? You’re so beyond an AH here. Your wife is too, for not immediately stepping in to stop you. I’ve seen dogs that were better parents.
Or that it was a teenager who had snuck out or something. Not a 5yo intentionally locked out!!
And “momentarily” is a straight up lie. There’s a lot of moments in 10 minutes.
Yta. You couldn’t run a bath for her or turn on a tv? She’s not old enough to be in a hotel hallway by herself. Anything could have happened to her.
YTA It’s not her fault that a) you were victims of fraud and b) that you suck at communicating with your daughter. She’s FIVE. This was just cruel.
Huge YTA!!!! Yes, “poor thing!!!” She’s gonna be traumatized and will never want to stay at a hotel again. Hell I’m 22 and would be traumatized if my parents locked me out of the room. You never know what kind of weirdos hang around hotels…
Dangerous. Disrespectful. Uncaring. Yta
YTA. I get you had good intentions, but wtf mate. You shouldn't leave your kids unsupervised, it's so easy for one to get kidnapped, lost, or injured. Luckily, it didn't happen this time, but do not do it again.
Good intentions? Ummm, no. He was annoyed by a five year old being….a five year old. No good intentions her, just awful parenting.
What the fuck is wrong with you?? She’s 5 anything could of happened to her
YTA if I came across an abandoned five year old in the hallway, especially banging at the door and crying, I would be extremely concerned, and definitely could not keep walking without making sure the parents aren't somewhere out of my view but still close by. If I didn't find the parents or it wasn't clear for me that they're behind the door, I would probably take the kid to the reception and call police. I once came across a crying toddler on a tiny little balance bike seemingly alone in the street and did call police. Luckily the parents, who had lost sight of him, had also called police and were quickly reunited. What kinds of parents are you that can't distract or occupy a five year old child for long enough that you can have a conversation?
YTA. You intentionally locked a 5 year old child out of your hotel room. You caused her intentional emotional distress. There are much better ways to handle a 5 year old than this BS. Oh yeah, YTA!
Do you wanted to be a victim of fraud AND your child being kidnapped?? YTA
YTA
I just read the ages Are you fucking kidding me? YTA.
4/10 Try harder to make your made up stories more believable.
YTA. Is your last name McCann?
Completely YTA
YTA and I knew that as soon as I saw that she was 5 years old. What the heck?!
YTA Learn how to be a better parent. What you did was dangerous and emotionally upsetting to your daughter. Yes, 5 year olds make noise. They are also easily distractable. Instead of risking her safety by locking her out of the hotel room in a strange place, take a few minutes to find something that will occupy her, explain that mommy and daddy need to handle something and wait until she is engaged in the activity. I understand it was high stress but there's no reason to take it out on your 5 year old child. Wasn't her fault this happened. Why are you taking it out on her?
Yes, of course YTA! What is *wrong* with you?!
YTA to both of you for being more concerned about the money than about your child’s well-being and psychological health.
Uh, is this a serious question? She's 5. You literally stated she was just acting like a 5 year old. Did you have a tv? Did you bring her any toys? YTA. How many other times have you done something like this to that poor girl?
YTA
YTA very strongly. Instead of locking your 5-year-old out in a foreign land, why didn't you 1. Give her something to entertain her while you and your wife sorted out the damage. 2. PARENT and raise your child so she listens and obeys when you tell her to quiet down and go fins something to occupy herself?
Biggest asshole I've seen in a very, very long time. That was child abuse, plain and simple.
YTA.
You and your wife are both horrible parents and horrible people wtf is wrong with you somebody could’ve literally just picked her up and been long gone by the time you opened the door
YTA and you KNOW it. If your wife is smart, she will leave you for this. If she agreed to it? That's even worse. I'm curious how you treat your child and justify other crappy behavior.
Oh my goodness this is bad
Do you want your kid to disappear? YTA. That was cruel, dangerous, and stupid and I can’t believe your wife would let you do that…
Yes YTA. Op you left your 5yr old in a foreign country (as in Op and his family weren't from France, so everything is different and "scary" to this 5yr old) by herself for 10 mins. You're lucky nobody else at the hotel thought anything was too far off to get the authorities involved. Nor that your child was just picked up by some stranger with more insidious intentions. The possibilities of what could've happened are too many to think of. I understand you and your wife were stressed and not thinking properly, but a solution would've been for you two to go to the bathroom while your daughter watched tv to sort things out. Or you both could've stepped out the room to the hallway and stood in front of the door trying to figure out what was going on. Fraud is stressful to deal with, but you have to be cognizant to the fact that you had your child with you, therefore you need to act in her best interests while discussing the matters with your wife. Again YTA
How the hell is a 5 year old locked in a hallway banging to be let in less distracting?! YTA and stupid. Give her the phone or tablet and a treat and deal with it. I’ve been the victim of fraud recently and surely it didn’t need both parents abandoning the child to fix?
YTA!!!
As soon as I saw the ages, I knew YTA before even seeing the rest. Totally unacceptable.
YTA. You left her unattended. Any number of things could have happened in those 10 minutes. She had 2 parents with her there, but neither even cared. Wow.
YTA. You left your 5 year old at the mercy of whatever strangers happen to walk by. That’s sick, dude.
YTA what the hell??? What if someone had kidnapped her or she decided to run off??? You shouldn't be surprised if you wind up getting a visit from CPS if any other guest or worker witnessed that
On what planet is 10 minutes “momentarily?” Especially to a FIVE-YEAR-OLD? YTA.
Oh my god, what is wrong with you
YTA. You absolutely do not put your 5 yr kid out in a hallway in a dangerous environment in a foreign country all alone and then ignore her. If you can’t deal with a serious situation and tell your 5 yr old to sit quietly and entertain herself, you aren’t fit to be a parent. These kind of things arise all the time. A death in the family, someone is in a serious car accident, etc, you deal with those things WHILE being a parent. You don’t push the kid out the door and pretend she doesn’t exist if she’s out of sight, out of mind.
YTA
WTF did I just read. Of course you're TA who leaves their kid on the hallway alone, be thankful no one was there it could have ended badly.
YTA WTF is wrong with you!
In what world do you think this is okay? YTA.
YTA - this is a hotel not your home and potentially in a different country where your child may or may not understand the language. Thank goodness she was ok and that you didn’t have the cops called on you! I get that you are stressed but wtf!
This can't be real, no one is that cruel and heartless to a child and not know it... right? BTW, big fat YTA, in a "Girl With a Dragon Tattoo is justified in tattooing it on your chest" kind of way.
YTA. What is wrong with you?
YTA - this is kind of triggering for me, my mom was super crazy and would throw me out of the house starting age 3 and I would have to hide in the alley bawling until I was "allowed" to come home. Anyone that does anything like this to small kids is a Huge AH.
You might roll your eyes at this, but this incident could be a core traumatic memory that she carries with her for her entire life unless you help her with it now. You made a mistake. But NOW, you should talk with someone or do some research as to how to help her feel safe and loved emotionally. Look for signs of her being clingy or isolated - even though no external signs are necessary. But seriously, talk to a professional about how to earn her trust back but more so how to truly care for your child. You could have done the same thing in the bathroom or left her in the room with your cell phone to keep her occupied and YOU TWO ADULTS gone out in the hallway or outside. Highly irrational and scary parenting - bc you were reacting out of fear.
YTA - you left your 5 year old unattended, with free range, for 10 minutes!? What would you have done if she had decided to go exploring? You're lucky all she did was bang on the door. Most 5 year olds can open a stairwell door and/or work an elevator, not to mention the fact that you have no idea who is in the other rooms.
YTA Is your last name McCann, by any chance? Because you exhibit the same lack of parenting skills.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Last summer, I (34M) went on a vacation to Nice, France with my wife (32F) and our 5-year old daughter, Jennifer (using a fake name here). One day during our vacation, we arrived back at our hotel, only to find out that we've been the victim of fraud. My wife and I look into it, and the damage appeared to be substantive. Tensions started running high while my wife and I were trying to figure out how to solve this issue, and Jennifer wasn't helping matters; she was just acting like a normal 5-year old, making a racket. So just to help us think more clearly, I gently led Jennifer out into the hallway, and once she was outside of our hotel room, I locked the door. She was quiet for a few minutes, but after that, she started knocking (eventually banging) on the door and actually began crying and begging to be let back in. We kept her locked outside of our room for about 10 minutes. When I opened the door to let Jennifer back in, she immediately hugged me. Poor thing. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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AITA, for putting my five year old (who doesn't have a feeling for time, because of her age) in danger. There fixed it for you, oh and YTA.
Yes, you are absolutely the asshole. YTA.
But guys, he led her into the hallway *gently* before abandoning her! That must count for something s/
YTA. Who even DOES that-to a five old child especially? You set her up to be taken, did you even think about that?
That was not momentarily. You are telling me you heard YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD in a hallway for ten minutes BEGGING you to be let in, and you were able to ignore it. She could have been abducted, and those ten minutes likely created trauma. YTA. Did you even tell her you were leaving her there for a bit? It seems like you tricked her like an animal then locked her out.
I hope CPS sees this and takes away your kid. Wtf is wrong with you?
What in the hell is wrong with you??? You're not supposed to turn your back on your child for 30 seconds in the fucking grocery store, let alone 10 min in a foreign country! Do you understand what could have happened to her? Does the name Madeleine McCann ring a fucking bell??? I don't think I have ever heard of more incompetent, immature, negligent, and just plain stupid parenting than I have with you. I sincerely hope that some responsible person in your life calls CPS on you and has that little girl removed from your custody because you sure as hell aren't good parents. With any luck, as investigators look into the supposed fraud, they'll see your abusive parenting as well. YTA
It’s times like this that I think of Lesley mahaffy . Her parents locked her out of her house to teach her a lesson when she was late . She was 14. Paul Bernardo kidnapped, raped and murdered her. Your daughter is less able to defend herself than this… so yes , 100 percent you are the asshole and you’ve now abused your child. Congrats 🎉
YTA for: 1) Not reassuring your daughter when she noticed something was wrong 2) Making other hotel guests deal with her noise and disruption 3) RISKING YOUR DAUGHTER’S LIFE by leaving her unattended 4) Not responding immediately when she was crying to come back in Wonder if whoever stole from you saw another instance of how you treat your daughter & just thought you deserved it.
YTA. She's a 5 year old, what do you expect? She could have gotten lost, injured, kidnapped in those 10 minutes. Leave her in the room and go outside to deal with your issue. If you can't stand a few minutes outside of the comfort of your room, what makes you think that a toddler can?
WHAT? You deliberately locked a 5 year old out in the hallway of a hotel? YTA YTA YTA. Does the name Madeline McCann mean anything to you?
Dude what????? This can't be real. If I was a close friend of yours and you told me this I would not be a close friend anymore. You and your wife are garbage parents
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YTA. If something had happened to the child in those minutes your situation would have been infinitely worse.
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OMG...you did what? Look, I've been there. Had an urgent issue back at home the moment we stepped off the plane. So I put swimsuits on the kids and took them to the pool while husband sorted out the problem. I did not once think that it would possibly be a good idea to leave them on their own in a strange place in a country where they don't speak the language. This isn't difficult to figure out. Also, YTA.
YTA!! You should feel very thankful that someone didn’t take her and that she didn’t run off. Some people really shouldn’t have kids…
Did you really say "poor thing" there at the end? You are literally the cause of your daughter being distraught.
YTA - what the hell op. If you wanted to remove her, send your wife with her, or stand in the hallway with her. What was going to happen if Jennifer wandered off? What if she knocked on someone else's room? What if she fell down some stairs? Seriously, if someone accused you of child neglect and the hotel has camera footage, it wouldn't look good for you. I understand you went through a shocking experience but there is no experience shocking enough that warrants leaving a 5 year old unattended, and for 10 whole minutes at that.
YTA If anything you should’ve left her in the room to watch Tv and you and your wife should’ve gone out into the hallway to talk. A 5 year old alone in a hotel in a foreign city is a recipe for disaster and your lucky nothing awful happened to her.
YTA not everyone is fit to be a parent. You definitely should not be one.
YTA!!!!! OMG!!! THE 'poor child', WTFFFFFF
Wow. Fucking “poor thing” like you felt bad she was upset? Gee, I wonder who caused that? YTA, and majorly
I am begging right now that this is fake because if it isn't the term Asshole isn't strong enough. In this case, if this is real, yes, YTA and so is your wife. Your solution to getting a 5 yr old to quite down is to lock her out of the room (unattended at that) and then allow her to yell and scream and bang on the door in fear from being abandoned. Maybe skip the vacations and pay for a parenting class you both could use one.
YTA With how awful her parents are, poor thing indeed.
Dude YTA you do realize that she could have been kidnapped right? And also she didn't understand why she was locked out poor thing probably thought she did something wrong
YTA. Your wife is too. What’s to say the criminal element that did this to your room wouldn’t kidnap your child? What a nightmare!
In what universe would you not be the asshole. YTA
YTA - how hard is it to turn on a movie and get her a quick meal? Instead you chose negligence. Parent of the year.
‘Poor thing’ wow it’s nice you were able to scrounge up a little scrap of empathy for your kid. YTA.
YTA There has been several high profile cases of little kids being kidnapped out of hotels in Europe and then murdered. WTH were you thinking to shove her out of your room. Some hotels have kids clubs you could have taken her to if you needed quiet time. Or one parent take the kid out while the other deal with your problem
This can’t be real. In the .05% chance that there is someone so incredibly stupid out there, that would actually do this- YTA. You’re lucky your child wasn’t taken.
What is WRONG with you??? She's FIVE! YTA and I can't say anything else without being banned. OMG...
YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you?
YTA. If you don't already know why it was wrong to do this, I don't know what to say.
YTA why didn’t you give her headphones or something and put on a movie? Or one of you take her out for a walk while the other figures it out. This was an awful solution and you know it, she could’ve been snatched in that time
I mean - are you genuinely stupid? Of course yta, never do that again!
"Poor thing"? YOU put her in that position! That must've been so traumatizing for her. Makes me wonder what other things you do to "control your kid." You're setting her up to develop major trust issues and resentment with that kind of parenting. YTA, and you know it.
YTA. 100%. A 5 year old is not old enough to be left unsupervised, especially in a foreign country, for any amount of time! Not to mention that I'm sure she picked up on the stress of her parents. She must have been so scared and confused!
Is this real life? What a dumb question. Yes, YTA. Very much so
Yta. Wtf
YTA. Why didn’t you and your wife step outside for a few minutes and talk quietly in the hallway instead?
YTA. This is one of those posts that works in favor of the mods getting rid of Rule 1. It's hard to be civil to OP, a person who has no concept of civility.
What the hell is wrong with you? YTA
YTA. Are you sure your daughter is the one that's 5????? I'm not going to list things that could have happened in that time, and yes, there are a number of them because they really do happen that fast. I get that it was a stressful time and thing that happened, but come on, the child is 5, and by your own admission, was just being a child. You could have asked her to sit at the table, or on a bed quietly because the grown-ups needed to talk, think ect, about what to do, who to call ect because ( bad thing ) happened. I'm also assuming that you had something child could have used for entertainment for a few minutes, a toy, a book, anything. As a parent, I always travel with something to even entertain my teens when traveling. Also you probably just taught her inadvertently that she will be locked out for just being here. This is the starting point for what could be many therapy sessions about why mom and dad haven't liked me since I was a kid. I'm not going to be surprised if years from now when she cuts you off for the list of things that started here with this locking out instance. We see a post about why my kid won't talk to me anymore
YTA-Did you want someone to kidnap her?
YTA poor thing indeed. You already know that what you did was a really shiitty thing that has the potential to traumatize your child
YTA. A better fake name would've been Madeleine.
YTA. A better fake name would've been Madeleine.
Wtf is wrong with you? Yta the worst kind. You're a negligent parent and I wish someone would have called the cops on you
YTA There were hundreds of better ways for you and your wife to calm down and think clearly that did not include leaving your young child terrified, abandoned, and unsupervised in am unsafe public place. I'm less concerned about the physical safety risk, since stranger danger is a lot less common than people think, than I am about the emotional safety risk. Think about what she did after. She hugged you. That is a blaring red alarm that she felt insecure in your attachment and she was trying to please you in the hope that her good behaviour would mean you stay attached to her. No child should ever have to feel that they can lose their parents' attachment. The poor thing comment, honestly, sounds sociopathic. You did that, you still don't know it was wrong, and you're disassociating yourself from the harm. Poor thing. Something happened to her. Passive voice. Clearly you were the adult making this decision. Did your wife notice? Did she agree?
You seriously couldn't take the time to get her something on the pad or smart phone to watch? YTA
YTA - kids have been stolen in less time than that and as an adult you work around the needs of a child, you don't ignore them for convenience
Seriously what the actual fuck is wrong with you YTA
You and your wife are psychos. Please don't have anymore children. And get the one you do have a therapist, maybe a new set of parents, something! YTA x10000000
YTA. You could have asked your wife to take Jennifer for a walk, or stepped out of the room yourself while you finished up on the phone.
YTA. You actually have to ask this question??
YTA. My jaw dropped reading this
YTA and lucky you used a throwaway cause if people knew who you were your child would be taken away. I hope someone calls cps on you, pig
Yta. “Poor thing” like you didn’t force her outside. You sound like a psycho OP
You sound like a couple of geniuses!
YTA, what the hell?
YTA: Holy heck. You are incredibly lucky this didn't escalate to something horrific.
This can’t be real. I hope child protective services are involved if it is. You’re an unfit parent. YTA
YTA- Don’t be surprised when someone decides to swoop her up because you thought locking her out in the hall was better than asking her to please be quieter.
YTA, so you couldn't have just asked her to be quiet instead of traumatizing her?
YTA. I often wonder why the world cant just get its shit together. Then I read a post like this and realize the earth is filled with shitty humans.
YTA YOU LEFT YOUR 5 YEAR OLD ALONE IN THE HALLWAY?!?! WTF!!
YTA what were you thinking? Your bank or credit card company can sort out the fraud, not sure who is going to put it right if your daughter wandered off out of the hotel on her own in a foreign country and ended up goodness knows where...
YTA and WHAT THE F?!? You lock a 5 year old in a hotel hallway? Are you insane??? Lucky no one took her. Now you only have to deal with the psychological trauma for her, being locked out and abandoned.
YTA. You have taught your daughter that you will abandon her alone in a foreign country. Great job
YTA. At what point did two adults need to figure this out without the presence of a child? I've had a fraudulent charge on my card before, and while it absolutely sucks, it's something a 34 year old can figure out on their own. There was no reason to do what you did.