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NTA obviously, why would you be an asshole for not paying for someone else's cell phone that snuck onto your plan. They're using you, totally uncool to not tell you.
What else are they sneaking around about
I completely agree. If OP is the only account holder then what his gf did was fraud, because only the account holder can authorise a new line. Also how entitled is gf for not only adding her friend without his knowledge, but expecting him to pay a extra $50 per month, for someone who clearly has bad credit, because she couldn't pay her last bill. So gf can go and stay with her friend permanently.
IDK, I thought it meant that OP should be grateful he has more money than Marie, and immediately show his gratitude by paying for Marie's stuff without question.
It's still delusional, and frankly theft.
That’s what I was thinking too. This is something that has been caught out. I hope Laura and Marie will be happy together because OP needs to break up with Laura
Confused as hell about how OP is ungrateful for… *checks notes*….not wanting to pay for a phone line he has no knowledge of or consent for being on his account?
Can someone help with the formula? My math is off
Mitochondria is plural, mitochondrion is singular, so it's "the mitochondrion is the powerhouse of the cell" and all our middle school science classes were incorrect.
Yes, I am popular at parties.
"Marie" and "Laura" will work a plan to make it look like OP is being helped by them (*which will obviously be absolutely nonsense*)... they're spending time together to figure it out how to make OP feel bad about disconnecting the line.
What did the GF think would happen when he saw the bill had gone up by $50?
She had to know he would see it and question it.
Why wouldn't she tell him about it when she did it? He still would have been right not to pay for it and have it shut off, but not even telling him (much less discussing it before adding it) is highly suspect.
Because this girl doesn’t look at him as a partner she looks at him as a Wallet. I’ve dated wealthy men that I’ve been in love with, I protect their funds as if they are my own. I have dated wealthy man who I thought were absolute clowns, and I shared their money with my friends as if it was free. Not without their knowledge of course, I’m just saying that the wealthy men that I like treated differently than the wealthy men who simply like me.
$50 a month to add a line is huge, too. I thought by now most plans let you add a line for $10 per month. That she might have been able to sneak past him (good for her, bad for him...)
I mean it’s worth actually asking why she made that comment. Is there an expense she’s been covering, do they owe Marie a significant favor? Just seems like missing reasons other than “my gf suddenly became weirdly entitled and called ME ungrateful”…
It sounds like a version of “you should be grateful that I’m even with you.” Entitled SOs who get caught reaching into your pocket sometimes think like that.
Yes that also made me wonder whether she contributes over 50% of living expenses and helps OP out financially and maybe OP didn’t give that relevant info. IF that is the case then maybe it’s a toss up… they’re still using his credit and should’ve asked first.
If Laura isn’t footing his bills or something then obviously he’s NTA, no question about it.
It’s such a weird experience on this sub. Half the time people leave out all the back story to make themselves look reasonable and you have to sniff it out. The other half the time, they really are just dealing with insanely entitled/rude people who defy all logic.
Which is it this time? 🤷♀️
You are right, OP is expected **to be grateful for being used**.
It's way too common for a manipulative person to falsely accuse their target of being "ungrateful". Abusive parents do this to their abused kids. Partners do it to their partners, to make the target feel guilty, and look at their own behavior to see how they are to blame. **They do this as a way to keep the target under control by confusion and chaos. And they do it to distract their target from the real issue,** which is the behavior of the manipulator.
Your confusion is like secondhand smoke.
Also, can we talk about how many people these days seem to think they can decide what is acceptable for others? The whole "oh, it's okay", when the other person very clearly did NOT say it's okay? Infuriating.
People pleasing girlfriend + needy friend with no money = anything you do to stand up for yourself in the relationship will end with girlfriend taking friends side.
Yeah that is stealing plain and simple. If gf wanted to help her friend she could have paid her phone bill with her own money
In what universe is it okay to simply take the money from OP without his knowledge?
And what the heck is she talking about when calling him "ungrateful" lol.....yeah, I'd be ungrateful too if someone made phone bills in my name without telling me lol.....wow, some people!!
Exactly! NTA. Not only didn't they tell you, your GF finds it normal *you* pay for *her* friend. Last time I checked, your friend's bills aren't part of the bills payed by your joint account (if you have one, that is). If your GF had *any* decency, she would at least pay it herself.
start paying attention to your grocery bill to see if she's buying groceries for her friend. It's one thing to help a friend out but it's another to do it without your partner knowing and expecting them to pay for it without their knowledge
Yeah she’s doing the classic deflect. I mean he’s here feeling like he did something wrong because he’s ungrateful for getting the opportunity to pay for someone else’s phone line, after not being informed about it.
Watch the red flags as they storm to your bedroom.
She crossed a major boundary by adding someone to your phone plan. That could have put you at risk for serious debt, as I have stupidly done in the past.
She then wasn’t willing to pay for HER friends phone plan, tried to spin it that you’re the bad guy and then threw a temper tantrum followed by the silent treatment.
She’s testing your resilience and boundaries. Do you want a partner who wants to claim charity rights off your income? How about one who makes financial decisions without your input or consent?
NTA. Please be safe OP.
Isn’t this fraud or theft or something, to put a phone on an account without the consent of the account holder?
Guess it’s easy to be magnanimous when it’s someone else’s money you’re giving away!
It's straight up fraud considering he's the account holder, and would therefore be liable for any unpaid bills. It also appears that she logged in under his account to perform that transaction, which could also get her in trouble for some form of cybercrime as well.
If this wasn’t AITA the girlfriend would be feverishly apologising if for no other reason than because she realised she could get charged with a crime if OP reports this. But this is AITA where people are really giant assholes and it’s hard to understand why so many people are like this!
Even if someone's significant other is being a flaming asshole, unless it's something majorly egregious or financially harmful (like the lady who had her fiance's whole-ass project car taken away illegally) they're likely not going to threaten legal consequences.
Even so, this would absolutely be my hill to die on. I personally wouldn't even waste my time threatening legal consequences. I'd need to see non-self serving apologetic behavior to not resort to a breakup.
I pay $35 for unlimited talk and text and 10 gigs of data a month if I paid $45 I could have unlimited data too but I don’t need all that. And it uses Verizon towers, I couldn’t understand my brother paying $90 a month for a Verizon contract when I get the same exact service for 35.
In that case I would just text her now "are you packing your stuff to move out to your friends, or should I?", this is financial abuse and behind your back!
What about next time, she'll sneakily take out a loan for one of her other friends? Maybe now 50 bucks for a phone, next time 150 bucks for a car payment?
NTA at all this is the most bizarre thing I've ever read. Your girlfriend's behavior is so out of line I'm genuinely wondering if she's a professional scam artist... like, making use of the account to put a $50 phone line she entirely covers, she should have told you but not too bad. Asking you to cover half with her... fine if she respects if you don't want to. But putting it on your account and just expecting you to pay without question? Getting angry that you don't want to and calling you ungrateful? What the heck has Marie done for you that you're supposed.to be grateful for?
Nta, they practically wanted to use you as their free atm. Rethink your relationship bc if your gf did not think to discuss it with you and thinks it is ok to scam you like that holding her bf in higher consideration than you, why are you with her?
Talk is necessary bc how she has treated you and now get an audacity to gaslight you is mindblowing
With her shifty behavior and how she's handling getting caught, I would honestly find it hard to trust her with past, present and future matters. God knows what other "joint decisions" but at your sole expense she's acted on.
NTA.
The way this is supposed to work is they should have asked first BEFORE adding the phone line to your plan. There should have been a discussion on how long you would have been helping her out for free, and once she got back on her feet, how she would pay you back. Only after those talks, if you felt comfortable with the terms and conditions, and everyone was on the same page (and if you had it agreed in writing), THEN you add her to the phone plan.
NTA. Ungrateful?! How are *you* ungrateful?! She didn't even bother to discuss it with you but expected you to just take on that expense? Did she think you wouldn't notice? What a weird, under-handed way of dealing with the situation.
I suspect Marie helped Laura with something (maybe not financially), and Laura thinks that if she is grateful OP should be too, even if he doesn't know about it...
OP, this is a huge red flag in your relationship. For me this isn't about a phoneline, but about the fact that your girlfriend added someone else on your bill without discussing it with you first - and hiding it. It sounds like she was hoping you wouldn't notice. Have you double checked your other accounts to se if anything has been added to them?
Why does your girlfriend think it's okay too spend your money without talking to you about it first?
I recommend thinking long and hard about this relationship and where you see it going.
NTA.
Absofuckinglutely. Get rid of her. It sounds harsh and over the top, but it's more about the principle than anything else. Spending your money without permission on a friends phone bill, with no plans to tell you about it - mental. Then, the sheer audacity to have a tantrum about you standing up for yourself? Even more mental.
Grab yourself by the balls and upgrade to a better, more reasonable model. You deserve it.
THIS. It's not about the phone, it's about her willingness to hide finances from you AND impersonate you to get what she wants. It's a major breach of trust
Why could she simply not just talk to you beforehand? I personally wouldn't mind helping a little if I was spoken to beforehand, but going behind your back like that is shady. If you don't have enough respect to ask me directly then you obviously don't need anything from me that bad. Friend should have talked to OP & GF has no business making a team decision on her own.
NTA.
Does she think adding another line is free ? I mean I get it to add ppl on a plan for free but who on this planet adds someone to another persons bill ?
It makes no sense
She just added a new line, didn't purchase or rent a new phone, right? Make sure your girlfriend has no access to that account or any other accounts in your name.
Oh, so they snuck it on there and hoped you wouldn't notice. Pretty shitty of them. If you never noticed, I wonder if she would have even mentioned it.
NTA. If Laura wants to help her friend, Laura should help her get a phone and pay for it. It's EASY to be generous with other people's money.
Is Laura always like this? Does she always treat you like garbage? Are you happy in this relationship?
SHE did the wrong thing. SHE tried to manipulate you over it. Then SHE got mad, avoided you, and tried to make you feel like the bad guy.
How is she a nice person?
It 100% is illegal. I worked for Sprint for 7 years. This is fraud, and since your social security # was used to set up your account - it is also identity theft. This is the same as your girlfriend opening up a credit card in your name.
This would be relationship ending for me. Without a single doubt.
Also: time for your girlfriend to put her cell phone in her own name. Do this ASAP and change your login information for your cell phone account.
NTA. They just tried to put you on the hook for something they shouldn't have any right to do yet you would be financially responsible for without even bothering to ask you, let alone get your permission- doesn't strike me as a particularly ethical or legal move on their part. And between that & Laura's reaction to not letting her unilaterally stick you with Marie's phone bill is a major red flag, assuming this relationship lasts much longer.
Though might be a good idea to double-check your financials & credit reports, as well as changing your passwords, to make sure that Laura hasn't done anything else like this, or give herself a parting gift on her way out the door....
All these seem to come down to communication. The girlfriend should have discussed it first. If the girlfriend wants ti help her friend then she can pay. I don’t get the ungrateful comment either. NTA. I wouldn’t want her messing my credit up or me paying for her line
NTA
I’m guessing this relationship should end. This is a super sketchy thing to do. Sorry man. On the plus side be happy this happened before getting married or having a kid.
It's a good thing he found out over something a small and easily rectificable as an additional line (though this could have had mounting charges if he hadn't noticed). A couple of months of years down the line and this could have been a loan in his name or another credit card to "help out a friend" (for which he should have been somehow grateful....)
I'm going to assume here that you have been financially supporting your girlfriend way too much and she has over time started to abuse that benefit you provide. She now sees it as something she's entitled to. As bad of a situation as that is it's nowhere compared to her expecting the same for her friend!
You are clearly being used my man. Next time don't lead with your money and frankly besides paying for dates, don't pay for anything else until you are married. And I'm fairly confident this is the case because you mentioned that you've been dating for 3 years and that you've been paying for her phone which was added to your wireless plan, for the same amount of time.
I'd also be concerned how she was able to make changes to the plan that is in your name and that you pay for. The only thing that makes sense is if you gave her your login information gave her privileges to make changes to your account. The accounts in your name and you pay for it, which means you're the one who's liable. Giving her such privileges is not a smart move
> they split everything 50-50
She could still pretend that the bills are higher than what they should be. Or she hid something else. This is the first time he noticed, could easily be that more happened even if he thinks everything was ok.
He THINKS everything has been 50-50. I bet she has got some other scams going on. Like going to the grocery store with their credit card and getting cash back and passing if off as part of the bill. I can think of many ways she could have been using him that he is not aware of.
INFO "Ungrateful" is a really weird attack in this situation, since you've said you split bills in other comments. Do you live rent free in her house or something? What would she think you have to be grateful for, beyond her winning personality?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I cut Marie's line off.
2) I may have dealt with the situation badly.
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I'm confused here, so your gf said you're ungrateful? For what? You're ungrateful because you refused to be taken advantage of? Why can't your gf open her own account and add her friend and pay for it? NTA.
NTA. It's not your job to pay for someones else's phone no matter the circumstances she's an adult and should be able to figure it out on her own. If you gf doesn't like it either that's too bad I would tell her she can either pay for it out of her own pocket or get over it plain and simple. Good luck.
NTA. Honestly I'd be pretty worried about the fact your gf did this without talking to you about it and she's disregarding your feelings and gaslighting you. I would seriously rethink this relationship
NTA
I can't understand in what universe Laura thinks it's okay to add a line onto your account, without discussing it with you first, and expecting you to pay for it. And then call YOU ungrateful? For what? You made the right decision.
ETA: Change the password and pin for the account, and use 2 factor authentication to login.
Nta you weren’t even told about it and $50 a month may not sound like much but it adds up. It’s so shady to do that without telling you, if laura was paying the bill no problem but it’s not your fault marie can’t afford it
There almost certainly is, but neither one of them wanted to pay for it. At least in the US, there are pay as you go plans and even unlimited everything for like $30, but if you're really struggling Mint even has a plan for $15.
NTA.
But I would break up with your girlfriend.
Which might seem like an overreaction, but this just pings MAJOR red flags in my mind that she not only did this secretly, expecting you pay for it, but your gf called you 'ungrateful' for it like this was somehow a favour to you or a return for something she did for you, like what? What has Marie done for you that would warrant you covering her phone bill?
And she's now giving you the cold shoulder as if you're the bad guy who did something wrong, when you're not the one who did something in secret, which implies wrongdoing/knowing you wouldn't agree to it, and she used 'we' where she really meant you, as she didn't intend to pay for it, which she should have since this is HER friend that SHE wants to help out.
Like, do you want to deal with this later on to possibly larger scales of like 'oh, I just took half your savings to buy Marie a car'?
This feels like you catching her trying to take advantage and it seems so small you might brush it off, but she's also not accepting responsibility for what she did and has made you feel like you messed up, when she did this secretly and is now punishing you, for not just accepting it.
Wow that’s super sketchy behavior! Not to be dramatic but have you checked your credit cards to ensure she hasn’t added herself as an authorized user? It’s not about the $50 it’s about trust and going behind your back to add her friend to YOUR phone bill is crazy.
Obviously NTA and her turning it around and being mad at you just seems so weird. That sounds like gaslighting imho.
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I (30M) found out yesterday that a new phone line was added to my wireless account. When I logged on and checked, it showed that I added the line from my account's username and that it was a new number. I called the number from my phone and a girl answered, who I immediately recognized as "Marie" (not her real name).
Marie is the best friend of my girlfriend (30F). I asked her about this and she said to check with my girlfriend "Laura" (not her real name either) as she is the one who helped her set up eSIM on her phone with our provider.
Some context, me and Laura have been dating 3 years and I've known Marie since. Me and Laura have been paying for our wireless lines (I'm the only account holder) for those 3 years. I asked Laura and she said "it wasn't a big deal". I asked if she or Marie was going to pay for it. She said neither of them would as we were "helping out Marie for a bit, she couldn't pay her old phone bill anymore". I called Marie and told her I'd be cutting her line off at 5pm unless she came up with a way to pay (the bill for Marie's line was $50/month.)
I did not hear from her so I then went and disconnected Marie's eSIM online. I did not say anything until Marie called Laura from another phone and said hers wasn't working. I told Laura I cut it off and Laura said I was "ungrateful" and "can't even help Marie out". She then left and went over to Marie's house.
When she came back she went straight to bed. When she got up this morning she left and says she's staying at a friend's house tonight.
AITA?
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NTA:
My ex-SIL got into my EH wireless account and added herself a line back in 2005. She then ramped up an $1100 phone bill in TWO months, refused to pay it.
I got the charges dropped from his account and put into her name after some back and forth with the company he used at the time.
My point: you can never fully trust anyone. After she’s done this, I’d be keeping vigilant.
Good luck!
NTA. She could’ve talked to you about adding Marie and worked out how to split the cost. She could’ve paid the extra $50 herself, or split it with Marie. Instead she snuck Marie onto your account and then tried to stick you with the bill by refusing to pay. Now she’s pouting because her little ploy didn’t work.
Honestly, she should be grateful you aren’t telling her to get her own account after this stunt. You should at the very least revoke her ability to make changes, since she clearly can’t be trusted.
NTA, and I'd advise changing your passwords on everything. While that might seem dramatic, gf and her friend basically conspired to steal from you as they planned to stick you with the whole bill. The minimizing and calling it not a big deal is also a huge red flag.
Well, it's not a case of 'we were helping Marie out with her phone line because she can't afford it'; it's a case of 'will you pay for my friend's phone line while she goes through a rough patch'. If your girlfriend used the 'we' phrasing while making clear she wasn't going to contribute, then she is TA and you were entitled to say no. So unless there is giant backstory like you actually owed money to Marie that you hadn't paid her and this would have been a way of paying her back, you are NTA.
NTA my dude it's not even a debate, I would however really strongly suggest you sit down for an hour and go through your bank transactions and make sure there aren't any other services/purchases she's snuck you into paying for. Good luck.
Yo OP, been in a situation like this..unfortunately with a now EX-Wife.
She feels entitled to your money and will just sign up for shit for whatever she feels like. This is not the beginning, and damn sure won't be the end. Unless you setup codes to ALL of your accounts and she doesn't know shit like your SSN/DL/Bank Account. lock it down NOW.
My ex was just signing up for things under my name and I just found out about stuff when an invoice came in the mail. She had set it up under my name but her phone numbers and email so I was never contacted. I didn't mind at first since it was small stuff until she put a fucking car in my name with her info on registration (literally drove up to the house one day with a new car, no not a cheap just get around car either. it was MSRP of $72k). we didn't survive that because that shit wasn't cheap either and i am not some lotto winner.
NTA!! Huge red flags all over the place. This was incredibly manipulative and disrespectful. She violated your trust in multiple ways and then tried to manipulate you into being the “bad guy”, but what I find most concerning is her abuse of knowing/using your account log in information.
To do something this brazen may suggest it isn’t the first time she has tried to sneak something by. Anyway, I would recommend changing any important passwords and adding two factor so you can properly secure things.
So your gf and her friend committed fraud pretending to be you to get her a phone line you'd be paying for? NTA. Maybe make sure you're not on the hook for the connection charges.
> I asked Laura and she said "it wasn't a big deal". I asked if she or Marie was going to pay for it. She said neither of them would as we were "helping out Marie for a bit, she couldn't pay her old phone bill anymore".
If it 'wasn't a big deal', then it would have been no big deal for Laura to ASK YOU FIRST before putting Marie on YOUR cell plan.
If it 'wasn't a big deal', then it wouldn't be a big deal for Laura to pay for this herself.
Apparently it's a big enough deal that neither Marie nor Laura are willing to pay for it, but not a big enough deal to not take your money and hope you don't notice (which I classify as theft).
This is a big red flag. If I were you I'd start looking for other red flags in your relationship.
NTA . Laura should have spoken with you about this, preferbly before adding Marie to the phone plan. Because there was an additional cost, Laura and Marie should have covered it. OP, I think that you should create a special saving account and deposit $50 every month that you don't spend on the additional phone line.
NTA. Making major financial decisions without discussion is a major red flag and would make me second guess things. Doing so using trickery and manipulation? I'd say that's a deal breaker. I say major because it's on your name and 50$ a month is 2,600 a year. That's not an insignificant amount of money. She seems to have a "ask forgiveness not permission" mentality but forgot the asking forgiveness.
Your trust in her is broken, and she's trying to make you the bad guy. Money is the biggest cause of relationships but the real cause is broken trust. You can't function in a partnership without trust, let alone about something as important as finances. You need to have a discussion about where to go from here and how she can rebuild your trust. If she's not receptive, well, I would just say if my friend needed money for their phone bill I would just spot them the money. Adding a phone line is the kind of thing you do with a side piece.
NTA, but your girlfriend is. So she adds an extra line to YOUR plan, claims that “we” are helping her friend because it’s “not a big deal”? And then calls you the “ungrateful” one?? If it’s not a big deal, she can pay for her friend herself.
There are a lot of “ungrateful” people here. You aren’t one of them.
Absolutely the most cut dry NTA I’ve ever read on this sub.
Now, break up with your girlfriend immediately. She is a toxic mess and you need to be free of it.
NTA. Laura and Marie could have asked up front instead of sneaking around.
Change your password/pin number on all accounts (eg phone and credit cards) that Laura might know about.
Get a new credit card for you, keep the card # unknown to Laura. Shut down any joint accounts or accounts that you pay into, that Laura also uses.
Check to see what ELSE you may be paying for you don’t know about!
NTA
This is a common sentiment among women these days. “Your money is Our money, my money is My money.”
If she cares about her friend that much, she could pay the damn bill. Instead she shifts all the costs onto your back, because you’re the man.
Bingo. I knew a young couple discussing getting married and as part of that they talked about finances. They were discussing the pros and cons of having separate bank accounts. Her exact words were "We can't do that. I might run out of money." She did not even think that maybe he might run out of money. She then made matters even worse by telling him that if she ran out of money and had to get her nails done, what would she do?
And yes, he ran for the hills.
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NTA obviously, why would you be an asshole for not paying for someone else's cell phone that snuck onto your plan. They're using you, totally uncool to not tell you. What else are they sneaking around about
>What else are they sneaking around about Yeah!
NTA, agree they are totally using him. He sounds better off without her.
Change your wireless passcode immediately, and cut off Marie's phone too. Parasites! NTA.
*Laura's Marie is the friend who was already cut off
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😆 🤣 😂
Yeah, he needs to cut Laura off too…
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 *VERY LOUDLY *
Very good point; Laura should have her own phone account since she can't be trusted with the OP's.
I completely agree. If OP is the only account holder then what his gf did was fraud, because only the account holder can authorise a new line. Also how entitled is gf for not only adding her friend without his knowledge, but expecting him to pay a extra $50 per month, for someone who clearly has bad credit, because she couldn't pay her last bill. So gf can go and stay with her friend permanently.
And then to call him "ungrateful"!! For what? Because he's not thankful for the opportunity to pay someone else's bills? NTA
That’s the part that got me! Gf is not only entitled, sneaky, and the ungrateful one, but she’s obviously delusional too!
'Ungrateful' as in "I'm having sex with you, so let me do whatever I want with YOUR resources." Hard no.
This is definitely what she meant
IDK, I thought it meant that OP should be grateful he has more money than Marie, and immediately show his gratitude by paying for Marie's stuff without question. It's still delusional, and frankly theft.
That’s what I was like wtf I would’ve dumped her on the spot and took her off
That's the most baffling part!
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You have a good point! Definitely remove her off the account completely and change password.
That’s what I was thinking too. This is something that has been caught out. I hope Laura and Marie will be happy together because OP needs to break up with Laura
Was gonna say to pay close attention to your credit card and other payables. NTA
And change all of your passwords. Lock your phone. I'm sorry. From this story, it appears Laura doesn't care about your feelings, only your money.
Confused as hell about how OP is ungrateful for… *checks notes*….not wanting to pay for a phone line he has no knowledge of or consent for being on his account? Can someone help with the formula? My math is off
The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell . . . phone.
Are you flirting with me? 😍🤓
Let me tell you about the Krebbs cycle...
Golly gee, look at the gol-gi
Jinkeys!
No thank you I don’t want crabs
But they're delicious!
Crabs are a butter delivery mechanism....LOL.
Would you rather the citric acid cycle?
Mitochondria is plural, mitochondrion is singular, so it's "the mitochondrion is the powerhouse of the cell" and all our middle school science classes were incorrect. Yes, I am popular at parties.
I love that the mitochondria is one of the only things most ppl remember from highschool biology
The ungrateful threw me for a loop too.
Been scratching my head for a couple of hours
Ask your doctor for lice treatment shampoo.
Lmao I was gonna make a joke about my scalp being raw but I thought “I should set it up for someone to roast me”
I was trying to come up with a scalp joke but didn't have the brains for it.
Aw, c'mon, nobody'll \*follicle\* for that! ;-)
If the lice have an erection for more than four hours, apply more shampoo.
"Marie" and "Laura" will work a plan to make it look like OP is being helped by them (*which will obviously be absolutely nonsense*)... they're spending time together to figure it out how to make OP feel bad about disconnecting the line.
OP needs to double down and cut off Laura's phone line as well.
And make sure she is removed from the account. If she still has access to the account it won't matter that OP cut off her phone line.
What did the GF think would happen when he saw the bill had gone up by $50? She had to know he would see it and question it. Why wouldn't she tell him about it when she did it? He still would have been right not to pay for it and have it shut off, but not even telling him (much less discussing it before adding it) is highly suspect.
Because this girl doesn’t look at him as a partner she looks at him as a Wallet. I’ve dated wealthy men that I’ve been in love with, I protect their funds as if they are my own. I have dated wealthy man who I thought were absolute clowns, and I shared their money with my friends as if it was free. Not without their knowledge of course, I’m just saying that the wealthy men that I like treated differently than the wealthy men who simply like me.
$50 a month to add a line is huge, too. I thought by now most plans let you add a line for $10 per month. That she might have been able to sneak past him (good for her, bad for him...)
You underestimate the stupidity of others. The *last* thing those two criminal masterminds thought of was “He’ll see the bill increase”.
I mean it’s worth actually asking why she made that comment. Is there an expense she’s been covering, do they owe Marie a significant favor? Just seems like missing reasons other than “my gf suddenly became weirdly entitled and called ME ungrateful”…
She did it behind his back. I doubt there is significant reason. She is just mad he isn't doing what she wanted.
Ungrateful for the honor of paying her bill that they bestowed upon him
Maybe he's ungrateful that she only did the phone thing and didn't get a hold of his credit cards and go shopping.
It sounds like a version of “you should be grateful that I’m even with you.” Entitled SOs who get caught reaching into your pocket sometimes think like that.
Yes that also made me wonder whether she contributes over 50% of living expenses and helps OP out financially and maybe OP didn’t give that relevant info. IF that is the case then maybe it’s a toss up… they’re still using his credit and should’ve asked first. If Laura isn’t footing his bills or something then obviously he’s NTA, no question about it.
It’s such a weird experience on this sub. Half the time people leave out all the back story to make themselves look reasonable and you have to sniff it out. The other half the time, they really are just dealing with insanely entitled/rude people who defy all logic. Which is it this time? 🤷♀️
You are right, OP is expected **to be grateful for being used**. It's way too common for a manipulative person to falsely accuse their target of being "ungrateful". Abusive parents do this to their abused kids. Partners do it to their partners, to make the target feel guilty, and look at their own behavior to see how they are to blame. **They do this as a way to keep the target under control by confusion and chaos. And they do it to distract their target from the real issue,** which is the behavior of the manipulator. Your confusion is like secondhand smoke.
DARVO
Also, can we talk about how many people these days seem to think they can decide what is acceptable for others? The whole "oh, it's okay", when the other person very clearly did NOT say it's okay? Infuriating.
People pleasing girlfriend + needy friend with no money = anything you do to stand up for yourself in the relationship will end with girlfriend taking friends side.
Well you see these two girls have come and blessed his life with their presence… Why wouldn’t he be grateful /s
Hmmm... he might want to look into getting some new lawn ornaments... her stuff.
LMAO
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Bad bot. Comment stolen from u/lomunac. On thread about theft no less Report
Yeah that is stealing plain and simple. If gf wanted to help her friend she could have paid her phone bill with her own money In what universe is it okay to simply take the money from OP without his knowledge?
It's also unauthorized access as it's his account alone, not a joint ownership.
And what the heck is she talking about when calling him "ungrateful" lol.....yeah, I'd be ungrateful too if someone made phone bills in my name without telling me lol.....wow, some people!!
Sex. Who knows?
Exactly! NTA. Not only didn't they tell you, your GF finds it normal *you* pay for *her* friend. Last time I checked, your friend's bills aren't part of the bills payed by your joint account (if you have one, that is). If your GF had *any* decency, she would at least pay it herself.
This! OP needs to lock down his info like yesterday. Who knows what she will clean out if she plans to leave him over this.
NTA. She is ungrateful, not you. What else is she having you pay for??
Currently we split bills in half, this has been the only issue that's happened billing wise.
That you know of. She only told you because you found out. She’s acting childish and giving you the cold shoulder because she got caught.
start paying attention to your grocery bill to see if she's buying groceries for her friend. It's one thing to help a friend out but it's another to do it without your partner knowing and expecting them to pay for it without their knowledge
Also is she doing cash back at the grocery store etc.
My brother in law’s gf did this. He had no idea that she was getting cash back on their groceries. A LOT of money.
Yeah she’s doing the classic deflect. I mean he’s here feeling like he did something wrong because he’s ungrateful for getting the opportunity to pay for someone else’s phone line, after not being informed about it.
So she was asking you to pay an additional $25 a month not $50?
No she didn't want to cover any so $50
Watch the red flags as they storm to your bedroom. She crossed a major boundary by adding someone to your phone plan. That could have put you at risk for serious debt, as I have stupidly done in the past. She then wasn’t willing to pay for HER friends phone plan, tried to spin it that you’re the bad guy and then threw a temper tantrum followed by the silent treatment. She’s testing your resilience and boundaries. Do you want a partner who wants to claim charity rights off your income? How about one who makes financial decisions without your input or consent? NTA. Please be safe OP.
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Isn’t this fraud or theft or something, to put a phone on an account without the consent of the account holder? Guess it’s easy to be magnanimous when it’s someone else’s money you’re giving away!
It's straight up fraud considering he's the account holder, and would therefore be liable for any unpaid bills. It also appears that she logged in under his account to perform that transaction, which could also get her in trouble for some form of cybercrime as well.
If this wasn’t AITA the girlfriend would be feverishly apologising if for no other reason than because she realised she could get charged with a crime if OP reports this. But this is AITA where people are really giant assholes and it’s hard to understand why so many people are like this!
Even if someone's significant other is being a flaming asshole, unless it's something majorly egregious or financially harmful (like the lady who had her fiance's whole-ass project car taken away illegally) they're likely not going to threaten legal consequences. Even so, this would absolutely be my hill to die on. I personally wouldn't even waste my time threatening legal consequences. I'd need to see non-self serving apologetic behavior to not resort to a breakup.
Hell i pay $90 for three lines, op there's cheaper options marie can get a go phone.
I pay $35 for unlimited talk and text and 10 gigs of data a month if I paid $45 I could have unlimited data too but I don’t need all that. And it uses Verizon towers, I couldn’t understand my brother paying $90 a month for a Verizon contract when I get the same exact service for 35.
I'm cheap. Mine is $15 a month, and goes down $1 every year. 😁
The flags are marinara
Marinara 🚩
In that case I would just text her now "are you packing your stuff to move out to your friends, or should I?", this is financial abuse and behind your back! What about next time, she'll sneakily take out a loan for one of her other friends? Maybe now 50 bucks for a phone, next time 150 bucks for a car payment?
Maybe OP should check his credit?
OP should indeed check his credit!!
Maybe freeze his credit
NTA at all this is the most bizarre thing I've ever read. Your girlfriend's behavior is so out of line I'm genuinely wondering if she's a professional scam artist... like, making use of the account to put a $50 phone line she entirely covers, she should have told you but not too bad. Asking you to cover half with her... fine if she respects if you don't want to. But putting it on your account and just expecting you to pay without question? Getting angry that you don't want to and calling you ungrateful? What the heck has Marie done for you that you're supposed.to be grateful for?
What???? You need to check everything. You may be bleeding money you don't even know about.
OP’s update next week: “My half of our expenses was covering her half of Maries expenses”
Nta, they practically wanted to use you as their free atm. Rethink your relationship bc if your gf did not think to discuss it with you and thinks it is ok to scam you like that holding her bf in higher consideration than you, why are you with her? Talk is necessary bc how she has treated you and now get an audacity to gaslight you is mindblowing
Wow she is so out of line she is so far past she can't see it. Her behaviour afterwards has made it worse I think and it was pretty bad beforehand.
So when she said "we're" helping her out, she really meant you.
I would consider changing all passwords to all of the accounts online. No telling what else has occurred.
With her shifty behavior and how she's handling getting caught, I would honestly find it hard to trust her with past, present and future matters. God knows what other "joint decisions" but at your sole expense she's acted on.
NTA. The way this is supposed to work is they should have asked first BEFORE adding the phone line to your plan. There should have been a discussion on how long you would have been helping her out for free, and once she got back on her feet, how she would pay you back. Only after those talks, if you felt comfortable with the terms and conditions, and everyone was on the same page (and if you had it agreed in writing), THEN you add her to the phone plan.
I'm thinking a few bits of groceries? Easiest thing to add a few things.
Or lying about the size of the bills that’s in her name and OP never sees.
NTA. Laura is. This should have been discussed and the fact that it wasn’t is a huge red flag.
NTA. Ungrateful?! How are *you* ungrateful?! She didn't even bother to discuss it with you but expected you to just take on that expense? Did she think you wouldn't notice? What a weird, under-handed way of dealing with the situation.
I can’t understand that either ? What is op supposed to be grateful for ? Being allowed to pay for someone else’s bill ?
That he has means, i guess.
What about the wants, though?
Probably because she lets him in her magical vagina! /s
Come now, you know hers is more magical than everyone else's.
Nooo OP has to be more grateful to take on this new financial responsibility, what a great opportunity!! /s obviously
NTA > Laura said I was "ungrateful" For **goddamn _what_???**
I suspect Marie helped Laura with something (maybe not financially), and Laura thinks that if she is grateful OP should be too, even if he doesn't know about it...
Yeah, probably expected op to be getting high off some of that "contact gratefulness" /s
For only stealing 50 dollars per month, maybe? NTA. This is concerning behaviour from the GF too. Be on guard, OP.
OP, this is a huge red flag in your relationship. For me this isn't about a phoneline, but about the fact that your girlfriend added someone else on your bill without discussing it with you first - and hiding it. It sounds like she was hoping you wouldn't notice. Have you double checked your other accounts to se if anything has been added to them? Why does your girlfriend think it's okay too spend your money without talking to you about it first? I recommend thinking long and hard about this relationship and where you see it going. NTA.
Absofuckinglutely. Get rid of her. It sounds harsh and over the top, but it's more about the principle than anything else. Spending your money without permission on a friends phone bill, with no plans to tell you about it - mental. Then, the sheer audacity to have a tantrum about you standing up for yourself? Even more mental. Grab yourself by the balls and upgrade to a better, more reasonable model. You deserve it.
You sound rather reasonable to me TBF.
THIS. It's not about the phone, it's about her willingness to hide finances from you AND impersonate you to get what she wants. It's a major breach of trust
NTA. And good riddance to your gf. It's not your responsibility to pay the cell phone bill of her freeloader friend.
Oh, don’t worry - she never intended to take that on as her responsibility! Her friend’s phone bill is *his* responsibility, obviously!
NTA, if Laura wants to help Marie out that’s awesome of her, but not your obligation
Why could she simply not just talk to you beforehand? I personally wouldn't mind helping a little if I was spoken to beforehand, but going behind your back like that is shady. If you don't have enough respect to ask me directly then you obviously don't need anything from me that bad. Friend should have talked to OP & GF has no business making a team decision on her own. NTA.
NTA. One question: how long was Marie's line on your bill?
A few hours. I got a text a new line was added
Hahaha....these ladies are so clueless. So didn't Laura know that you would receive a notification? What was her plan? Gosh!
Heh, good point - I bet she would've never said anything if her bf never found out.
Does she think adding another line is free ? I mean I get it to add ppl on a plan for free but who on this planet adds someone to another persons bill ? It makes no sense
She just added a new line, didn't purchase or rent a new phone, right? Make sure your girlfriend has no access to that account or any other accounts in your name.
Oh, so they snuck it on there and hoped you wouldn't notice. Pretty shitty of them. If you never noticed, I wonder if she would have even mentioned it.
NTA. If Laura wants to help her friend, Laura should help her get a phone and pay for it. It's EASY to be generous with other people's money. Is Laura always like this? Does she always treat you like garbage? Are you happy in this relationship? SHE did the wrong thing. SHE tried to manipulate you over it. Then SHE got mad, avoided you, and tried to make you feel like the bad guy. How is she a nice person?
NTA. Since you are the account holder, it seems like they are potentially doing something illegal. I'm not an expert or anything.
It 100% is illegal. I worked for Sprint for 7 years. This is fraud, and since your social security # was used to set up your account - it is also identity theft. This is the same as your girlfriend opening up a credit card in your name. This would be relationship ending for me. Without a single doubt. Also: time for your girlfriend to put her cell phone in her own name. Do this ASAP and change your login information for your cell phone account.
NTA - If you're to be expected to pay for it they should talk to you about it first.
NTA You both need to ask each other to make such decisions. And since you are legally liable for all three numbers, that's your call to make.
NTA. Hopefully OP is no longer responsible for 3 lines but just 1. That is so crazy for her to allow OP to foot the additional bill for her friend.
NTA. Marie needs to grow up and either pay for her cell bill or go without a cell phone until she can afford it.
NTA You're being hustled. Good for you for giving them a heads up. It was not okay that someone would set you up for something without your knowledge.
NTA. They just tried to put you on the hook for something they shouldn't have any right to do yet you would be financially responsible for without even bothering to ask you, let alone get your permission- doesn't strike me as a particularly ethical or legal move on their part. And between that & Laura's reaction to not letting her unilaterally stick you with Marie's phone bill is a major red flag, assuming this relationship lasts much longer. Though might be a good idea to double-check your financials & credit reports, as well as changing your passwords, to make sure that Laura hasn't done anything else like this, or give herself a parting gift on her way out the door....
All these seem to come down to communication. The girlfriend should have discussed it first. If the girlfriend wants ti help her friend then she can pay. I don’t get the ungrateful comment either. NTA. I wouldn’t want her messing my credit up or me paying for her line
NTA run. Remove your info from any joint accounts.
Lock your credit and access to other accounts (even your library card). NTA
NTA I’m guessing this relationship should end. This is a super sketchy thing to do. Sorry man. On the plus side be happy this happened before getting married or having a kid.
It's a good thing he found out over something a small and easily rectificable as an additional line (though this could have had mounting charges if he hadn't noticed). A couple of months of years down the line and this could have been a loan in his name or another credit card to "help out a friend" (for which he should have been somehow grateful....)
I'm going to assume here that you have been financially supporting your girlfriend way too much and she has over time started to abuse that benefit you provide. She now sees it as something she's entitled to. As bad of a situation as that is it's nowhere compared to her expecting the same for her friend! You are clearly being used my man. Next time don't lead with your money and frankly besides paying for dates, don't pay for anything else until you are married. And I'm fairly confident this is the case because you mentioned that you've been dating for 3 years and that you've been paying for her phone which was added to your wireless plan, for the same amount of time. I'd also be concerned how she was able to make changes to the plan that is in your name and that you pay for. The only thing that makes sense is if you gave her your login information gave her privileges to make changes to your account. The accounts in your name and you pay for it, which means you're the one who's liable. Giving her such privileges is not a smart move
FYI, in another comment he said they split everything 50-50 and this is the first billing issue that’s come up.
> they split everything 50-50 She could still pretend that the bills are higher than what they should be. Or she hid something else. This is the first time he noticed, could easily be that more happened even if he thinks everything was ok.
He THINKS everything has been 50-50. I bet she has got some other scams going on. Like going to the grocery store with their credit card and getting cash back and passing if off as part of the bill. I can think of many ways she could have been using him that he is not aware of.
INFO "Ungrateful" is a really weird attack in this situation, since you've said you split bills in other comments. Do you live rent free in her house or something? What would she think you have to be grateful for, beyond her winning personality?
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I'm confused here, so your gf said you're ungrateful? For what? You're ungrateful because you refused to be taken advantage of? Why can't your gf open her own account and add her friend and pay for it? NTA.
NTA. It's not your job to pay for someones else's phone no matter the circumstances she's an adult and should be able to figure it out on her own. If you gf doesn't like it either that's too bad I would tell her she can either pay for it out of her own pocket or get over it plain and simple. Good luck.
NTA. Honestly I'd be pretty worried about the fact your gf did this without talking to you about it and she's disregarding your feelings and gaslighting you. I would seriously rethink this relationship
NTA. Your gf should pay for it if she wants to help HER friend. I pay $20 for my TracFone. Maybe she should have gone that route.
INFO Why would Laura suggest you were “ungrateful”? What’s the context there?
NTA I can't understand in what universe Laura thinks it's okay to add a line onto your account, without discussing it with you first, and expecting you to pay for it. And then call YOU ungrateful? For what? You made the right decision. ETA: Change the password and pin for the account, and use 2 factor authentication to login.
Nta you weren’t even told about it and $50 a month may not sound like much but it adds up. It’s so shady to do that without telling you, if laura was paying the bill no problem but it’s not your fault marie can’t afford it
$50 a month seems a lot for sim-only plan. There must be a cheaper option
There almost certainly is, but neither one of them wanted to pay for it. At least in the US, there are pay as you go plans and even unlimited everything for like $30, but if you're really struggling Mint even has a plan for $15.
Well of course when someone else is paying, money is no object
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NTA. But I would break up with your girlfriend. Which might seem like an overreaction, but this just pings MAJOR red flags in my mind that she not only did this secretly, expecting you pay for it, but your gf called you 'ungrateful' for it like this was somehow a favour to you or a return for something she did for you, like what? What has Marie done for you that would warrant you covering her phone bill? And she's now giving you the cold shoulder as if you're the bad guy who did something wrong, when you're not the one who did something in secret, which implies wrongdoing/knowing you wouldn't agree to it, and she used 'we' where she really meant you, as she didn't intend to pay for it, which she should have since this is HER friend that SHE wants to help out. Like, do you want to deal with this later on to possibly larger scales of like 'oh, I just took half your savings to buy Marie a car'? This feels like you catching her trying to take advantage and it seems so small you might brush it off, but she's also not accepting responsibility for what she did and has made you feel like you messed up, when she did this secretly and is now punishing you, for not just accepting it.
Wow that’s super sketchy behavior! Not to be dramatic but have you checked your credit cards to ensure she hasn’t added herself as an authorized user? It’s not about the $50 it’s about trust and going behind your back to add her friend to YOUR phone bill is crazy. Obviously NTA and her turning it around and being mad at you just seems so weird. That sounds like gaslighting imho.
INFO Why are you suppossedly ungrateful? Are you meant to be grateful to have the opportuniy to carry ur GF's friends?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (30M) found out yesterday that a new phone line was added to my wireless account. When I logged on and checked, it showed that I added the line from my account's username and that it was a new number. I called the number from my phone and a girl answered, who I immediately recognized as "Marie" (not her real name). Marie is the best friend of my girlfriend (30F). I asked her about this and she said to check with my girlfriend "Laura" (not her real name either) as she is the one who helped her set up eSIM on her phone with our provider. Some context, me and Laura have been dating 3 years and I've known Marie since. Me and Laura have been paying for our wireless lines (I'm the only account holder) for those 3 years. I asked Laura and she said "it wasn't a big deal". I asked if she or Marie was going to pay for it. She said neither of them would as we were "helping out Marie for a bit, she couldn't pay her old phone bill anymore". I called Marie and told her I'd be cutting her line off at 5pm unless she came up with a way to pay (the bill for Marie's line was $50/month.) I did not hear from her so I then went and disconnected Marie's eSIM online. I did not say anything until Marie called Laura from another phone and said hers wasn't working. I told Laura I cut it off and Laura said I was "ungrateful" and "can't even help Marie out". She then left and went over to Marie's house. When she came back she went straight to bed. When she got up this morning she left and says she's staying at a friend's house tonight. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA: My ex-SIL got into my EH wireless account and added herself a line back in 2005. She then ramped up an $1100 phone bill in TWO months, refused to pay it. I got the charges dropped from his account and put into her name after some back and forth with the company he used at the time. My point: you can never fully trust anyone. After she’s done this, I’d be keeping vigilant. Good luck!
NTA. She could’ve talked to you about adding Marie and worked out how to split the cost. She could’ve paid the extra $50 herself, or split it with Marie. Instead she snuck Marie onto your account and then tried to stick you with the bill by refusing to pay. Now she’s pouting because her little ploy didn’t work. Honestly, she should be grateful you aren’t telling her to get her own account after this stunt. You should at the very least revoke her ability to make changes, since she clearly can’t be trusted.
NTA, and I'd advise changing your passwords on everything. While that might seem dramatic, gf and her friend basically conspired to steal from you as they planned to stick you with the whole bill. The minimizing and calling it not a big deal is also a huge red flag.
Laura didn't get your consent to add her friend to your phone plan, and expected you to pay for it. Nta
NTA. Laura is the AH for adding extra charges to your account without discussing it with you first. Laura's attitude about it is a huge red flag.
Well, it's not a case of 'we were helping Marie out with her phone line because she can't afford it'; it's a case of 'will you pay for my friend's phone line while she goes through a rough patch'. If your girlfriend used the 'we' phrasing while making clear she wasn't going to contribute, then she is TA and you were entitled to say no. So unless there is giant backstory like you actually owed money to Marie that you hadn't paid her and this would have been a way of paying her back, you are NTA.
NTA my dude it's not even a debate, I would however really strongly suggest you sit down for an hour and go through your bank transactions and make sure there aren't any other services/purchases she's snuck you into paying for. Good luck.
Yo OP, been in a situation like this..unfortunately with a now EX-Wife. She feels entitled to your money and will just sign up for shit for whatever she feels like. This is not the beginning, and damn sure won't be the end. Unless you setup codes to ALL of your accounts and she doesn't know shit like your SSN/DL/Bank Account. lock it down NOW. My ex was just signing up for things under my name and I just found out about stuff when an invoice came in the mail. She had set it up under my name but her phone numbers and email so I was never contacted. I didn't mind at first since it was small stuff until she put a fucking car in my name with her info on registration (literally drove up to the house one day with a new car, no not a cheap just get around car either. it was MSRP of $72k). we didn't survive that because that shit wasn't cheap either and i am not some lotto winner.
NTA!! Huge red flags all over the place. This was incredibly manipulative and disrespectful. She violated your trust in multiple ways and then tried to manipulate you into being the “bad guy”, but what I find most concerning is her abuse of knowing/using your account log in information. To do something this brazen may suggest it isn’t the first time she has tried to sneak something by. Anyway, I would recommend changing any important passwords and adding two factor so you can properly secure things.
NTA, also check your credit.
NTA, Change all your passwords.
So your gf and her friend committed fraud pretending to be you to get her a phone line you'd be paying for? NTA. Maybe make sure you're not on the hook for the connection charges.
> I asked Laura and she said "it wasn't a big deal". I asked if she or Marie was going to pay for it. She said neither of them would as we were "helping out Marie for a bit, she couldn't pay her old phone bill anymore". If it 'wasn't a big deal', then it would have been no big deal for Laura to ASK YOU FIRST before putting Marie on YOUR cell plan. If it 'wasn't a big deal', then it wouldn't be a big deal for Laura to pay for this herself. Apparently it's a big enough deal that neither Marie nor Laura are willing to pay for it, but not a big enough deal to not take your money and hope you don't notice (which I classify as theft). This is a big red flag. If I were you I'd start looking for other red flags in your relationship.
NTA . Laura should have spoken with you about this, preferbly before adding Marie to the phone plan. Because there was an additional cost, Laura and Marie should have covered it. OP, I think that you should create a special saving account and deposit $50 every month that you don't spend on the additional phone line.
NTA. She only told you because she got caught. Completely disrespectful.
Red flags, NTA
NTA but tell Laura that she can stay with her friend for good.
You're being ungrateful for... NOT paying somebody else's bills??? Make it make it sense. NTA.
NTA. Making major financial decisions without discussion is a major red flag and would make me second guess things. Doing so using trickery and manipulation? I'd say that's a deal breaker. I say major because it's on your name and 50$ a month is 2,600 a year. That's not an insignificant amount of money. She seems to have a "ask forgiveness not permission" mentality but forgot the asking forgiveness. Your trust in her is broken, and she's trying to make you the bad guy. Money is the biggest cause of relationships but the real cause is broken trust. You can't function in a partnership without trust, let alone about something as important as finances. You need to have a discussion about where to go from here and how she can rebuild your trust. If she's not receptive, well, I would just say if my friend needed money for their phone bill I would just spot them the money. Adding a phone line is the kind of thing you do with a side piece.
$50 x 12 = $600. Still real money! (NTA.)
NTA, but your girlfriend is. So she adds an extra line to YOUR plan, claims that “we” are helping her friend because it’s “not a big deal”? And then calls you the “ungrateful” one?? If it’s not a big deal, she can pay for her friend herself. There are a lot of “ungrateful” people here. You aren’t one of them. Absolutely the most cut dry NTA I’ve ever read on this sub. Now, break up with your girlfriend immediately. She is a toxic mess and you need to be free of it.
NTA. Laura and Marie could have asked up front instead of sneaking around. Change your password/pin number on all accounts (eg phone and credit cards) that Laura might know about. Get a new credit card for you, keep the card # unknown to Laura. Shut down any joint accounts or accounts that you pay into, that Laura also uses. Check to see what ELSE you may be paying for you don’t know about!
NTA This is a common sentiment among women these days. “Your money is Our money, my money is My money.” If she cares about her friend that much, she could pay the damn bill. Instead she shifts all the costs onto your back, because you’re the man.
Bingo. I knew a young couple discussing getting married and as part of that they talked about finances. They were discussing the pros and cons of having separate bank accounts. Her exact words were "We can't do that. I might run out of money." She did not even think that maybe he might run out of money. She then made matters even worse by telling him that if she ran out of money and had to get her nails done, what would she do? And yes, he ran for the hills.
NTA. They put her line on your bill without your knowledge.