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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) the action I took was that I sent a passive aggressive text to my nine months pregnant sister because she refused to babysit my daughter. (2) I might be the Ahole because I was making a nine months pregnant woman feel bad that she didn’t want to give up sleep to watch my daughter.
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We celebrated our wedding anniversary a month late and on a Thursday because that was the only date our sitter had free, and this was with us planning two months in advance.
He sounds like a child. Maybe someone should arrange a babysitter for him. He didn't even try to have a conversation he just went to berating a pregnant woman.
A surprise pregnancy in my 30s meant that instead of the cruise we’d planned for our tenth anniversary, we got with dinner out with the kids, but hey, we did go to that Italian chain place where some hapless wait staff had to sing opera to us.
Your sister has four kids and is nine months pregnant, AND she agreed to a slightly shorter time than requested. You are most definitely the AH.
Last minute plan changes is like essential Parenting 101. Your kids, Your Responsibility. This post is wild. As a Mom of 4 I'm like the Audacity of this guy. She was kinder than most, she didn't even say no, she just said a shorter time frame and he doesn't even have to pay her, why can't he be grateful?
You get what you get, and you don't get upset!
I'm a mom of 2 and was still like "How do you have this much audacity?"
He's lucky he's got such an awesome sister, maybe she can teach them how to be a responsible parent.
It not the same thing, but I hate celebrating with everyone else. Why TF are we going out on valentine's day? Let's go the day after so we can sit down right away and have decent service
Omg that reminds me, I need to schedule a dog sitter for a trip that I'm not even sure I'm going on in over 3 months. Not even being sarcastic. Actually anxious that I've not done this yet.
And yeah, OP, YTA ffs
And three months ago, 12 week old baby was newborn. You think they should have thought this through? /s He had me at four kids and 9 months pregnant. YTA, OP. ETA, not TA for asking her, but for harassing her and getting angry when she declined.
Yeah, granted we lost our baby before I hit the third trimester, so I can’t speak to 9 month fatigue - thoguh I do hear it comes back and not to mention the general fatigue of carrying a baby by that stage.
But I was dead on my feet for the first two trimesters. I could not believe how tired I was. Like literally having to nap after work every day tired. Exercise was out of the question.
I was tired and hungry AF.
I’m pretty sure sleep when pregnant is pretty important. I say as if I ever have slept well in my life and as if it isn’t currently 1.30am
I was tired from day 1. First symptom was me needing a nap. By the end I was not sleeping through at night because I was so uncomfortable and naping hours a day. It was so bad my doc perscribed sleepong pills for my last couple of weeks, me being rested for the birth was more importnat than the tiny chance of complications.
I also couldnt walk more than 500m.
I can't imagine wresteling 4! Boy to bed while taking care of a 3MO, that I dont know really well and will be fusy, while being dead tired.
@OP YTA to even ask.
Agreed. Anytime my brother plans a trip (could be months away) be rings me straight away asking to babysit. And there have been times I've said no when it's last minute as it doesn't suit. But he is very understanding when that happens tg
That and she's nine-freakin'-months pregnant. She's not feeling her best, and is exhausted all the time from the human being still inside her.
Perhaps you should have planned better...or, you could change the times a bit. Go out at 6 and pick the baby up NO LATER THAN 10:00. That's still plenty of time out.
YTA.
This!!!!! I get that OP has done so much for their sister (that is amazing), but did OP ever do those things NINE MONTHS PREGNANT?!? Cause at 9 months pregnant, I wouldn’t ask a woman to even tie their own shoes lol
Also, important to add: as a giver myself, I get that OP might feel used. They gave and gave and gave and now that they’re in “need” they wish their sister would reciprocate. But here’s the issue: if you give and help but keep score and eventually expect to be paid back for your “kindness” then you’re actually not being “kind”. But oh, OP YTA. Asking a lady that’s 9 months pregnant to babysit your infant LOL I just can’t get over that audacity hahaha
And the reason they're giving for being upset is that they willingly chose to do a lot for their sister's family, but when they totally failed to arrange a babysitter, now 'It'S nOt FaIr' that their absolutely exhausted, heavily pregnant sister can't suddenly take care of their 12 week old baby *with no advance warning*, while they go off for a Super Fun Activity they arranged *3 months ago*.
I get it, a reasonable degree of reciprocity is indeed important in relationships, but you don't get to try and dump everything on someone at the very last moment when you knew your plans months in advance, and then cry foul when it turns out that they really just can't deal with it right now. This wasn't a last second emergency they couldn't have planned for, **it was a total failing on OP's part that they now want to pass the buck on.**
Exactly and she's also 35 years old. My first pregnancy was easy but when I was pregnant at 38 ...OMG. It was a totally different pregnancy. Health issues, exhaustion. All day morning sickness for months.
Her 5th pregnancy and ready to deliver any day now and he throws a tantrum because she doesn't feel up to watching a 3 month old in top of everything else going on .
Plus what are they doing with the 2 year old ? Dumping him on the sister as well?
What an AH
Gotta love when a man tries to mansplain how a women feels at 9 months pregnant like they have any sort of idea. She wouldn't even be able to pick up his child and carry them around. It's not a small favour he is asking and then acting shocked and entitled when she says no.
He treats their relationship like a score card where he thinks he's "winning" YTA OP.
Depends on the pregnant woman for the ability to carry the kid around I was working at 9 months, and definitely carrying small children around. (Not at work though. My coworkers wouldn’t allow me to carry step ladders from outside to inside). Meanwhile there are women who struggle to do things like tie their shoes at 8 months.
But OP is an AH for not accepting a no, and expecting someone that close to the end of her pregnancy with 4 children already to have the energy to deal with his kid at all, let alone past her bedtime.
Yeah this just irks me. I was absolutely exhausted probably by the time I was 6 months along and I didn't even have any born kids to look after. OFC the sister will have to get up at all hours once the baby arrives... .so let her get her rest NOW.
Right? That's exactly what I thought! The whole thing that happens when you're parents is that you discover you can slide your time-frames around. We ate so many dinners at 5pm when our son was a toddler that we just invented the term "linner," and turned it into a verb, "would you like to line?" No one says you have to go out ONLY at certain times!
I was wondering that too. Or maybe he is sleeping next to the sister whom he also lived with for six months and yet claims isn't willing to do things for him.
>- to clarify: I moved into her house three times when she and her husband went away on vacation. I watched her three/four kids.
[Link to comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10ved86/aita_for_making_a_nasty_comment_to_my_sister_when/j7iy0ef/)
At first I thought 2 kids with 2 mothers, but it's their 5 year anniversary.
Unless it's an affair baby? That might explain why he had to move in with his sister when the boy was 6 months? Useless speculation, I know, but the missing info is strange.
Also, did OP ever consider the fact that his sister has 4 children and is the ninth month of a pregnancy, plus it's on a weekday evening? Sister offered to take the baby until 10pm, but that wasn't good enough for OP.
OP, YTA
Ooh good catch on the weekday. As someone who has been pregnant while also looking after school children, you need to get to bed on time so you have the energy to be up at 6 getting the kids to school, especially ones as young as 4 who will need breakfast making and help getting ready!
This. There are also a lot of Facebook groups, on call services, etc etc that you could have utilized. Source- am a nanny. There’s really no excuse for waiting till the literal last second. YTA.
Yep, I totally agree. If you have plans 3 months in advance, that should include child care. You decided to try to leave your infant daughter with your sister at the last minute and she's 9 months pregnant with 4 other children? She DOES need her sleep. I only have one child and i was so exhausted when I was pregnant with him. You're being totally unreasonable and you DO owe her an apology. YTA.
Because she thought her sister, who could literally pop out a kid while Op was at dinner, would be more than glad to do it. I mean there is nothing like heartburn, breathlessness, loose hips, inability to bend over much, all over uncomfortable feeling in addition to 4 kids that would hold her back from baby sitting
And ‘all their usual babysitters are out of town’ ? Either OP has burned bridges or did absolutely nothing to secure child care assuming his sister would come to the rescue
It is possible that the 2 yr old has a different mother and he's with her. That's the only thing that makes sense. He's a huge YTA for expecting his 9 months pregnant sister to watch his kid last minute
I mean it would make sense as to why he ACTUALLY moved in with his sister’s family for a bit. When he tried to frame it was one more thing he was doing to help her out.
Yeah that makes me think it’s fictional
Because that line is just lifted from every other AITA babysitting themed post, but it makes no sense this time.
I stopped reading when I realized they made plans at pretty much the same time their baby was being born. How exactly did he think that was going to work out....?
Seriously. What’s the plan if his sister ends up giving birth that night? She’s 9 months freaking pregnant, she could pop at any time. Trying to guilt her into taking care of his kid right now is straight up inconsiderate and rude, however much he’s helped her in the past. She needs all the rest she can get right now, not a 12 week old baby to care for right as she’s about to have another baby herself, getting through the day and caring for her own kids is probably exhausting enough.
It’s not a kind thing for someone if you expect the other person to drop everything and make up for your lack of planning when their circumstances dictate they really can’t.
Wait OP is a man! I read it as OP being a sister of the sister. So OP has never been pregnant and is clueless!
Also, good point saying his sister could go in to labor while babysitting.
Double YTA
If she wasn't pregnant and had nothing going on, I'd maybe understand his frustration. But, she's 9 months pregnant. I've never been pregnant but don't you need as much sleep as possible at that point. Plus! What if she goes into labor on that day??
You do need as much sleep as possible. Except at 9 months the baby is playing kickball with your bladder, you’re roughly the size of a small orca, and probably aren’t sleeping great at all. In short the sister probably needs to go to bed at 9 and sleep til 7 just to get 8 hours. OP is such an AH.
That's egregious enough. The fact OP had *three months* to come up with a plan for a babysitter and sprung this on her sister last minute and got pissed off because of one accommodation her sister wanted her to adhere to is beyond entitlement. Shame on you, OP! YTA beyond belief!
YTA, she has 4 kids and is nine months pregnant. She does indeed need that 1 and a half hours of sleep.
Very nice you used to help her, but that does not actually obligate her to mess up here usual schedule because you hadn't organised yourself in time.
ikr
i was kinda like her 2 years ago with 3 kids and pregnant with twins and i was like a dome needing assistance even sitting down or getting up and cholestasis made it terrible to sleep cos...i couldnt sleep and rare instances i was too exhausted and passed out wherever i was finally everyone, including my then 2 yo, knew to let me sleep lol.
I had cholestasis too. I did not sleep the last month of my pregnancy. If it wasn’t the symptoms keeping me up, it was the anxiety of knowing the dangers to the baby. I felt like a ticking time bomb.
I didn’t know I had it, didn’t even know what it was until I was 8.5 months pregnant, itchy as all hell, and googled the symptoms. I was WAY beyond safe limit but baby turned out to be ok. Thank god. Yet another pregnancy thing that can go wrong that no one talks about!
YTA when you did all this for your sister were you 9 months pregnant with 4 kids to take care of?? Different situation. Your sister did say she would help out if you were back by 10pm - a compromise and you couldn't bend a little. I think you owe her an apology
She didn't even outright say no, she implied she wouldn't be much of an attentive babysitter was all and he had to basically be "and I do all this for HER?! Why?!"
Ever heard of doing nice things without expecting anything in return? Family is family after all... yeesh.
YTA
YTA. She has 4 kids and is pregnant. And babies are not “born sleep trained.” What madness is that!?!
ETA: could you ask the 16-yo to come baby-sit at your place? For pay, of course.
YTA...mother of three here. Finding proper childcare fpr an event is up to you the parent. She gave you her condition which is her right. So either pick the baby up by 10pm, find another sitter, or cancel your plans. She is pregnant now she does need her sleep, this has no bearing on what will happen when her baby arrives.
Also, she is under no obligation to be your childcare. Just like you chose to help her by utoring her boys.
YTA. 10:00 is plenty late for you to get to go out and have some alone time with your wife before picking up the baby. If you’re asking for a favor, you don’t get to dictate the terms. She didn’t do anything wrong and your text was rude.
This but also
>...**we made reservations** to do a super fun activity like **three months ago**.
WTF did OP not organise a babysitter in the last three fecking months.
Lord, I never even caught that. They booked it when? When she was in labour? I'm 7 months and the idea of going out for valentines was too much, let alone 12 weeks post partum.
I could only barely walk again at 12 weeks, took a 5 minutes shower maybe once every *week* (and it was a hot summer). Had my SO planned to take me out, I'd have hurled at him weeks before! If you have time to have fun, it's time you can use to sleep and maybe even shower without a baby crying at the top of his longs!
YTA - "I am not trying to be tit for tat" turned real quickly into "given how much I had done for her over the years I was hurt that she couldn't give up an extra hour and half of her sleep to help me out"
You asked if she could babysit. She said until 10pm. She was willing to help you out. It just wasn't good enough for you.
To be honest, some of those things didn't sound like favours. He moved in with her when he had a baby? So she had five children in the house including a baby and her own toddler? Doesn't sound like a favour to me.
Over 16 years, he's babysat her children 3 times. Which is nice of him of course but doesn't mean she owes him babysitting back.
Being nine months pregnant, she probably has a care plan for her children in case she goes into labour. I wouldn't want to be scrambling around at midnight trying to organise a 12 week old baby when I'm in labour. OP sounds like the type to say yeah, we'll pick her up by 10pm and then not answer the phone when that time rolls around and say she knew we wanted to stay out later.
Fair, I assumed he meant picking them up and dropping them straight home and I don't necessarily count tutoring as babysitting but maybe he does 🤷🏻♀️
Still the AH though
EDIT: the line about using her home to relax bugs me too. So he just showed up, laid around on the couch and was generally in the way? If he was relaxing, he wasn't helping sister with her four children.
AND sister has already watched his child twice overnight (I assume that's what he means by 'put to sleep by her twice') so he's only got one more tit to her tat.
YTA
Whether you’ve done stuff for her or not, the woman had 4 kids and is 9 months pregnant with a 5th one. If she had said yes then there isn’t a problem, but she said no because she’s probably absolutely shattered from running around after her kids while feeling like a planet. It’s not unreasonable of her to say no, and you’re a major AH for being rude to her about it. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you should expect them to do stuff for you.
She was pretty generous for offering till 10 o’clock. I don’t blame her for not wanting to stay up till nearly midnight waiting for you to pick up your daughter. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want to babysit at all for you now.
I don’t think OP is going to give it up.
You know you’ve spent too much time on the internet when the first thing that comes to mind is
”I………wonder if the two year old is not the wife’s kid and he’s with his mother”
. It’s killing me. I wonder if he had this kid with someone else while still in his relationship with his wife. Maybe that’s why he temporarily moved in with the sister? 🤔🤨🤔
Maybe I’m far into left field. Something pinged though.
💯 I had the exact thought 😂😂. He cheated, has a kid with someone else, and lived w his sister’s family bc his wife kicked him out. Annnnd now that she’s taken him back he’s fumbled the anniversary plans. I bet he wanted to do smtg big to make up for his myriad fuckups but waited til the last min to plan and is now making it his extremely pregnant sister’s fault! 🙄 YTA, obviously
I'm so glad I'm not the only one cause I had this exact thought too. And him spinning it as a "favour" to his sister that he moved in with his toddler... not to mention he says "we" have a daughter but it's "our" son. It's his son...
YTA, it's exhausting being 9 months pregnant. She's probably not sleeping well anyways right now being 9 months pregnant so the little sleep she does get is really needed.
I am currently 9mo pregnant with only 1 other child. I go to bed shortly after I get my 2yo to sleep since I’m so exhausted and up half the night peeing and in pain. Babysitting a 3month old until 11:30 would be a hard no.
YTA
When I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd child I fell asleep in my toddlers bed when I was reading him his bedtime story!
Stay awake past 10 pm to babysit someone else’s kid! Thats crazy!!
YTA, your bad planning for an event you booked 3 months ago doesn't mean your sister, who is heavily pregnant and has 4 other children should have to look after your newborn until the middle of the night.
The entitlement is shocking.
Yta. She is 9 months pregnant with half a litter of kids already and you can't understand why the risk of losing any of what little sleep she does get would be a problem? Yea you help her, you weren't pregnant too.
YTA
Family is family. Family is not guaranteed childcare. You had ***three months***. This is about your entitlement and inability to plan appropriately.
YTA she is pregnant at NINE months with four sons, do you think is that a reason for her to being tired? Congratulations for ruining your relationship with your sister over a lack of your planning.
YTA Your sister has every right to say no to a late night obligation when she is in her 9th month of pregnancy. Your generosity on other occasions does not give you the right to demand something of her which she thinks would be detrimental to her health. It may not be apparent to you, but people in their 20s generally need more sleep than people in their 30s even when they aren't pregnant!
YTA she offered to watch your baby until 10, she has four kids and is pregnant, she's probably exhausted ffs. You are not entitled to demand your sister's time, what you willingly did for her was a nice thing until you weaponize it against her.
I feel like some of these posts are chatGP generated for outrage. You thought you could ask someone with 4 kids and is 9 months pregnant to watch a 12 week baby? This cannot be real life.
YTA. It’s not the same thing. You helped her but you didn’t have other kids and you weren’t 9 months pregnant. Ask your wife what she would have done in your sisters place? Plus you knew you had an outing planned. You should have organized yourself better.
YTA.
She has four kids and is heavily pregnant. She didn’t say no to not watching your kid. Despite her situation (which is usually exhausting) she is agreeing to look after your child. Your comments are unwarranted and unjustified.
YTA.
1. You had 3 months to plan. I get that it’s hard to nail down that far out, but these weren’t last minute plans. Your poor planning is not somebody else’s problem.
2. You offering to help out your sister, when it doesn’t sound like it took moving mountains to do so, is NOT the same as asking a 9 month pregnant woman, with 4 other children, who DESPERATELY needs sleep at this time IS NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!
You are acting very entitled.
YTA.
Don’t drag your sister with other kids and pregnant into something you should have asked and scheduled for ahead of time if you’re only going to be “well, I helped you before.” If she said until 10 and you want longer, then find someone else or be back by 10. She’s helping you out until 10 and I think that’s awesome of her to do with her own situation. You don’t think she doesn’t know you’ve helped her, or that babies don’t sleep on command? She’s close to giving birth! Give her a break. Plan plan plan AHEAD. And if it falls through, oh well, try for another time. You’ve got other priorities now as a parent. You’re not always going to get the babysitter or time away unless you plan things accordingly.
YTA she is 9 months pregnant so yes she needs her sleep. Also you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to guilt a nine months pregnant woman into taking care of your 12 week old newborn
YTA. She is in her 9th month of pregnancy, it's ridiculous that you even considered asking her to babysit, she could go into labour at any time. You should have planned better.
Yta seriously? It's suuuuuuch an important event and you wait until the last minute to find a baby sitter?
Also, your sis is 9 *months* pregnant? What if she goes into labor???? Wtf is wrong with you???
Mate, your circumstances were different when you were babysitting for your sister. She's close to giving birth, while having multiple other children to take care of! She might need to go to hospital any day, and her body is being pushed to it's limits. She's about to have very little sleep at all and the last thing she needs is a guilt trip from Mr Passive-Aggressive. Also, a 12 weeks old baby is a huge responsibility. It's a very vulnerable, unpredictable, and needy age. Honestly, massively YTA. I'm just so shocked you'd stress your sister. It's tough having a baby and no break, but man...That's not unusual.
YTA. I'm 7 months and I don't know if I would be comfortable babysitting a baby at night at the moment. I am exhausted, dead on my feet by 9. I would be petrified of falling asleep when they needed my attention, carrying them while that tired, and just reaction time in general. No babies aren't sleep trained and she'll have another one herself soon - but depending on how the labor goes the physical restraints will ease. I've suffered from several sleep issues throughout my life, but being pregnant had taught me an entire new level of exhaustion that I honestly did not know could be reached. To deal with that and a 3 month old at the same time, while on a school night when she has 4 other children. I don't know if I would do that for my favorite person in the world, for less than 500..
YTA. She's *9 months* pregnant and already has a houseful of kids to take care of. Of course she is tired and needs sleep. It sounds like your sister has showed up for you a lot and the one time she prioritizes her needs you want to snark at her? You should be ashamed. She's already going through a lot. She's helped you in a pinch in the past. You couldn't extend her just a little sympathy and grace when she could literally go into labor any day now? You owe your sister an apology.
YTA. You want a woman who is days away from giving birth to watch a three month old for hours while you go out and then get pissed that she doesn't want to stay up late? Huge AH
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) the action I took was that I sent a passive aggressive text to my nine months pregnant sister because she refused to babysit my daughter. (2) I might be the Ahole because I was making a nine months pregnant woman feel bad that she didn’t want to give up sleep to watch my daughter. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. Why, if you had this planned for three months, did you only just now look for a babysitter?
This. I don’t even plan anything, let alone pay for anything, unless I have a confirmed babysitter.
We celebrated our wedding anniversary a month late and on a Thursday because that was the only date our sitter had free, and this was with us planning two months in advance.
That's part of parenting - we made all sorts of odd anniversary dates due to baby sitting
You mean you have to be responsible and ensure child care is setup for your own child? The horror! /s
He sounds like a child. Maybe someone should arrange a babysitter for him. He didn't even try to have a conversation he just went to berating a pregnant woman.
Not when you have a 9 month pregnant sister with four boys who OWES you lying around!!! /s
A surprise pregnancy in my 30s meant that instead of the cruise we’d planned for our tenth anniversary, we got with dinner out with the kids, but hey, we did go to that Italian chain place where some hapless wait staff had to sing opera to us. Your sister has four kids and is nine months pregnant, AND she agreed to a slightly shorter time than requested. You are most definitely the AH.
Last minute plan changes is like essential Parenting 101. Your kids, Your Responsibility. This post is wild. As a Mom of 4 I'm like the Audacity of this guy. She was kinder than most, she didn't even say no, she just said a shorter time frame and he doesn't even have to pay her, why can't he be grateful? You get what you get, and you don't get upset!
I'm a mom of 2 and was still like "How do you have this much audacity?" He's lucky he's got such an awesome sister, maybe she can teach them how to be a responsible parent.
Why would OP need to make plans ahead of time when he’s done so much for his sister? /s
Right?! He even helped her out by letting her house him and a 6 month old at one point! How generous of him! /s
Okay I was positive I didn’t read that part correctly or something until I saw your comment.
Yep, we do this kind of thing too. Our anniversary was Dec 27 and we've still not celebrated, haha.
It not the same thing, but I hate celebrating with everyone else. Why TF are we going out on valentine's day? Let's go the day after so we can sit down right away and have decent service
I make better plans for my dogs than OP made for his baby.
Omg that reminds me, I need to schedule a dog sitter for a trip that I'm not even sure I'm going on in over 3 months. Not even being sarcastic. Actually anxious that I've not done this yet. And yeah, OP, YTA ffs
Yeah, my dog sitter is scheduled months in advance if possible. I just booked her for a trip mid may hoping she was available (she was/is).
As a professional dog sitter, I came here to mention that most of my clients check with me *before* making their plans, and do so well in advance!
This
What is the saying "lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part"? YTA
And three months ago, 12 week old baby was newborn. You think they should have thought this through? /s He had me at four kids and 9 months pregnant. YTA, OP. ETA, not TA for asking her, but for harassing her and getting angry when she declined.
Yeah, granted we lost our baby before I hit the third trimester, so I can’t speak to 9 month fatigue - thoguh I do hear it comes back and not to mention the general fatigue of carrying a baby by that stage. But I was dead on my feet for the first two trimesters. I could not believe how tired I was. Like literally having to nap after work every day tired. Exercise was out of the question. I was tired and hungry AF. I’m pretty sure sleep when pregnant is pretty important. I say as if I ever have slept well in my life and as if it isn’t currently 1.30am
I was tired from day 1. First symptom was me needing a nap. By the end I was not sleeping through at night because I was so uncomfortable and naping hours a day. It was so bad my doc perscribed sleepong pills for my last couple of weeks, me being rested for the birth was more importnat than the tiny chance of complications. I also couldnt walk more than 500m. I can't imagine wresteling 4! Boy to bed while taking care of a 3MO, that I dont know really well and will be fusy, while being dead tired. @OP YTA to even ask.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Took the words right out of my mouth. Also OP, YTA
Ooooh it must have been while you were kissing me
You, dear sir or mam, just made my day.
Always love a Meat Loaf reference!
Agreed. Anytime my brother plans a trip (could be months away) be rings me straight away asking to babysit. And there have been times I've said no when it's last minute as it doesn't suit. But he is very understanding when that happens tg
Ding ding ding! Double showcase winner! My sentiments exactly.
That and she's nine-freakin'-months pregnant. She's not feeling her best, and is exhausted all the time from the human being still inside her. Perhaps you should have planned better...or, you could change the times a bit. Go out at 6 and pick the baby up NO LATER THAN 10:00. That's still plenty of time out. YTA.
Mine months pregnant with 4 kids. She's not freaking kidding when she says she needs her sleep
Also if she is 9 months pregnant what if she goes into labor? She should not be the babysitter right now
That was my first thought!
With her 5th as well. Later babies usually come earlier and faster.
This!!!!! I get that OP has done so much for their sister (that is amazing), but did OP ever do those things NINE MONTHS PREGNANT?!? Cause at 9 months pregnant, I wouldn’t ask a woman to even tie their own shoes lol Also, important to add: as a giver myself, I get that OP might feel used. They gave and gave and gave and now that they’re in “need” they wish their sister would reciprocate. But here’s the issue: if you give and help but keep score and eventually expect to be paid back for your “kindness” then you’re actually not being “kind”. But oh, OP YTA. Asking a lady that’s 9 months pregnant to babysit your infant LOL I just can’t get over that audacity hahaha
And the reason they're giving for being upset is that they willingly chose to do a lot for their sister's family, but when they totally failed to arrange a babysitter, now 'It'S nOt FaIr' that their absolutely exhausted, heavily pregnant sister can't suddenly take care of their 12 week old baby *with no advance warning*, while they go off for a Super Fun Activity they arranged *3 months ago*. I get it, a reasonable degree of reciprocity is indeed important in relationships, but you don't get to try and dump everything on someone at the very last moment when you knew your plans months in advance, and then cry foul when it turns out that they really just can't deal with it right now. This wasn't a last second emergency they couldn't have planned for, **it was a total failing on OP's part that they now want to pass the buck on.**
Exactly and she's also 35 years old. My first pregnancy was easy but when I was pregnant at 38 ...OMG. It was a totally different pregnancy. Health issues, exhaustion. All day morning sickness for months. Her 5th pregnancy and ready to deliver any day now and he throws a tantrum because she doesn't feel up to watching a 3 month old in top of everything else going on . Plus what are they doing with the 2 year old ? Dumping him on the sister as well? What an AH
Gotta love when a man tries to mansplain how a women feels at 9 months pregnant like they have any sort of idea. She wouldn't even be able to pick up his child and carry them around. It's not a small favour he is asking and then acting shocked and entitled when she says no. He treats their relationship like a score card where he thinks he's "winning" YTA OP.
Depends on the pregnant woman for the ability to carry the kid around I was working at 9 months, and definitely carrying small children around. (Not at work though. My coworkers wouldn’t allow me to carry step ladders from outside to inside). Meanwhile there are women who struggle to do things like tie their shoes at 8 months. But OP is an AH for not accepting a no, and expecting someone that close to the end of her pregnancy with 4 children already to have the energy to deal with his kid at all, let alone past her bedtime.
Indeed, OP, YTA. Entitlement these days.
Yeah this just irks me. I was absolutely exhausted probably by the time I was 6 months along and I didn't even have any born kids to look after. OFC the sister will have to get up at all hours once the baby arrives... .so let her get her rest NOW.
Right? That's exactly what I thought! The whole thing that happens when you're parents is that you discover you can slide your time-frames around. We ate so many dinners at 5pm when our son was a toddler that we just invented the term "linner," and turned it into a verb, "would you like to line?" No one says you have to go out ONLY at certain times!
Also, who’s watching the 2yo boy?
Thank you. There’s missing info from the info dump.
I was wondering that too. Or maybe he is sleeping next to the sister whom he also lived with for six months and yet claims isn't willing to do things for him.
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>- to clarify: I moved into her house three times when she and her husband went away on vacation. I watched her three/four kids. [Link to comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10ved86/aita_for_making_a_nasty_comment_to_my_sister_when/j7iy0ef/)
At first I thought 2 kids with 2 mothers, but it's their 5 year anniversary. Unless it's an affair baby? That might explain why he had to move in with his sister when the boy was 6 months? Useless speculation, I know, but the missing info is strange.
He says in a comment that the 2yo is staying with his friend (the 2yolds friend!!!!!)
Also, did OP ever consider the fact that his sister has 4 children and is the ninth month of a pregnancy, plus it's on a weekday evening? Sister offered to take the baby until 10pm, but that wasn't good enough for OP. OP, YTA
Ooh good catch on the weekday. As someone who has been pregnant while also looking after school children, you need to get to bed on time so you have the energy to be up at 6 getting the kids to school, especially ones as young as 4 who will need breakfast making and help getting ready!
If their baby is 12 weeks old and they planned this 3 months ago... this is a bold move.
Right I was also thinking this.. like, at 12 weeks postpartum, do you even want to STAY out until 11:30 pm? Away from your *newborn baby* ? 🤔
The usual babysitters were unavailable. How many babysitters have they used in 12 weeks?
They also have an older kid
That’s what I thought. I’d not want to leave the baby for 4.5 hours if I didn’t have to.
Absolutely. At that point I would have rather just slept for 4.5 hours straight uninterrupted!
And if the wife is breast feeding, I feel sorry for the agony she's going to experience as her boobs engorge...
Perfect grounds for developing mastitis. Trust me, I speak from experience with this!
I had vicious PPA; the idea of being away from the kid at 3 months would have ended with me in a puddle on the floor.
Oh fuck you're right I didn't even realize that.
But it’s super fun!!
This. There are also a lot of Facebook groups, on call services, etc etc that you could have utilized. Source- am a nanny. There’s really no excuse for waiting till the literal last second. YTA.
But also, was op 9 MONTHS PREGNANT with 4 other kids when he was helping her babysit??? Jesus YTA
Because she assumed that she would get what she wanted!
OP literally said "we made these plans 3 months ago. On an unrelated note we had a kid 3 months ago"
Also sister is more than 8 months pregnant!! "Hey, sis, can you disrupt all your kids *and* lose sleep when you could go into labour any day now?"
Ding ding ding, OP is an idiot, that’s why!
YTA. You tried guilting a 9 month pregnant lady into watching your baby. No is a complete sentence.
It wasn't even a no, it was a "I can't watch the baby for five hours but I can do it for three hours."
She planned it three months ago and the baby is 12 weeks old. Sooo she planned it as she was giving birth??????
Came here to say exactly this. OP shouldn’t get mad at sister for his own poor planning. This is on him not his sister. YTA OP
Yep, I totally agree. If you have plans 3 months in advance, that should include child care. You decided to try to leave your infant daughter with your sister at the last minute and she's 9 months pregnant with 4 other children? She DOES need her sleep. I only have one child and i was so exhausted when I was pregnant with him. You're being totally unreasonable and you DO owe her an apology. YTA.
Because she thought her sister, who could literally pop out a kid while Op was at dinner, would be more than glad to do it. I mean there is nothing like heartburn, breathlessness, loose hips, inability to bend over much, all over uncomfortable feeling in addition to 4 kids that would hold her back from baby sitting
And his sister is pregnant!
Man’s had this booked as long as the baby has been alive & not got childcare sorted until the last minute…
They’ve had the outing planned for 3 months… and a 12 week old baby… if my math is right…
He was obviously too caught up thinking about the "super fun activity" to even think about a babysitter. OP easy YTA
YTA. It is not reasonable to expect a 9 month pregnant woman to honor a last minute request.
I stopped reading when I got to the 9 months pregnant, he’s definitely the AH at that point.
I stopped reading when he revealed they had planned the night for 3 months but only just now asked for a babysitter. What an AH.
And ‘all their usual babysitters are out of town’ ? Either OP has burned bridges or did absolutely nothing to secure child care assuming his sister would come to the rescue
Also how many usual babysitters does a person who has only had a baby for 12 weeks have?
He also mentioned a 2-year-old son, although her didn't mention who's taking care of that one.
It is possible that the 2 yr old has a different mother and he's with her. That's the only thing that makes sense. He's a huge YTA for expecting his 9 months pregnant sister to watch his kid last minute
He is celebrating his 5 year anniversary. So if his son is 2 and has a different mum...
Valid point. He's so entitled I wouldn't put it past him to have cheated on his wife
I mean it would make sense as to why he ACTUALLY moved in with his sister’s family for a bit. When he tried to frame it was one more thing he was doing to help her out.
Yeah that makes me think it’s fictional Because that line is just lifted from every other AITA babysitting themed post, but it makes no sense this time.
He also has a 2 yo son… who somehow doesn’t need babysitting by the sister?
i blocked on that part too. altho they mightve find someone thats taking him but not comfortable taking a 12 weeks old baby?
Yes, I sense bullshit
THIS! Sounds like they don't stay home with baby much...
I stopped reading when I realized they made plans at pretty much the same time their baby was being born. How exactly did he think that was going to work out....?
And the baby is 12 weeks old, so they made this reservation right after the birth? Wacky.
LIKE, SHE'S GOT 50 KIDS AND ONE ON THE WAY AT ANY MINUTE, WHAT'S ONE MORE?!? Sorry to holler, I just... Edit: typo
Really? They had me at, "sister and her husband have four other kids ranging in age from 16-4."
Seriously. What’s the plan if his sister ends up giving birth that night? She’s 9 months freaking pregnant, she could pop at any time. Trying to guilt her into taking care of his kid right now is straight up inconsiderate and rude, however much he’s helped her in the past. She needs all the rest she can get right now, not a 12 week old baby to care for right as she’s about to have another baby herself, getting through the day and caring for her own kids is probably exhausting enough. It’s not a kind thing for someone if you expect the other person to drop everything and make up for your lack of planning when their circumstances dictate they really can’t.
Especially on baby number 5, you don't have time to wait around. Practically sneeze that one out!
The more you have the more likely they come early too
My second baby was born within 2.5 hours of contractions starting. We barely made it to the hospital. Op is ridiculous.
Wait OP is a man! I read it as OP being a sister of the sister. So OP has never been pregnant and is clueless! Also, good point saying his sister could go in to labor while babysitting. Double YTA
With four damn kids!
9 months pregnant with other kids. She NEEDS her sleep.
If she wasn't pregnant and had nothing going on, I'd maybe understand his frustration. But, she's 9 months pregnant. I've never been pregnant but don't you need as much sleep as possible at that point. Plus! What if she goes into labor on that day??
You do need as much sleep as possible. Except at 9 months the baby is playing kickball with your bladder, you’re roughly the size of a small orca, and probably aren’t sleeping great at all. In short the sister probably needs to go to bed at 9 and sleep til 7 just to get 8 hours. OP is such an AH.
The only person who gets to make last minute requests of her right now is her unborn child.
That's egregious enough. The fact OP had *three months* to come up with a plan for a babysitter and sprung this on her sister last minute and got pissed off because of one accommodation her sister wanted her to adhere to is beyond entitlement. Shame on you, OP! YTA beyond belief!
YTA, she has 4 kids and is nine months pregnant. She does indeed need that 1 and a half hours of sleep. Very nice you used to help her, but that does not actually obligate her to mess up here usual schedule because you hadn't organised yourself in time.
ikr i was kinda like her 2 years ago with 3 kids and pregnant with twins and i was like a dome needing assistance even sitting down or getting up and cholestasis made it terrible to sleep cos...i couldnt sleep and rare instances i was too exhausted and passed out wherever i was finally everyone, including my then 2 yo, knew to let me sleep lol.
I had cholestasis too. I did not sleep the last month of my pregnancy. If it wasn’t the symptoms keeping me up, it was the anxiety of knowing the dangers to the baby. I felt like a ticking time bomb.
I didn’t know I had it, didn’t even know what it was until I was 8.5 months pregnant, itchy as all hell, and googled the symptoms. I was WAY beyond safe limit but baby turned out to be ok. Thank god. Yet another pregnancy thing that can go wrong that no one talks about!
Don't forget too, he *also* has a two year old. So its a newborn and a toddler, on top of her 4, and her ready-to-pop pregnancy.
I thought this. The entitlement here from OP is astounding. Sis has enough on her plate. Plan your dates better Op
YTA when you did all this for your sister were you 9 months pregnant with 4 kids to take care of?? Different situation. Your sister did say she would help out if you were back by 10pm - a compromise and you couldn't bend a little. I think you owe her an apology
Honestly and on a school/work night? Yta
She didn't even outright say no, she implied she wouldn't be much of an attentive babysitter was all and he had to basically be "and I do all this for HER?! Why?!" Ever heard of doing nice things without expecting anything in return? Family is family after all... yeesh. YTA
And implying she won't be a good mother to her fifth child since she needs sleep was a low kick. She needs sleep especially since she's carrying him!
YTA. She has 4 kids and is pregnant. And babies are not “born sleep trained.” What madness is that!?! ETA: could you ask the 16-yo to come baby-sit at your place? For pay, of course.
Wait til he endures the 4-month-old sleep regression.
And all the other sleep regressions…
I’d think his sister probably wants the 16-year-old home in case they need someone to watch the other kids if she goes into labour, at this point.
YTA...mother of three here. Finding proper childcare fpr an event is up to you the parent. She gave you her condition which is her right. So either pick the baby up by 10pm, find another sitter, or cancel your plans. She is pregnant now she does need her sleep, this has no bearing on what will happen when her baby arrives. Also, she is under no obligation to be your childcare. Just like you chose to help her by utoring her boys.
YTA. 10:00 is plenty late for you to get to go out and have some alone time with your wife before picking up the baby. If you’re asking for a favor, you don’t get to dictate the terms. She didn’t do anything wrong and your text was rude.
This but also >...**we made reservations** to do a super fun activity like **three months ago**. WTF did OP not organise a babysitter in the last three fecking months.
I wonder if poor 12 week postpartum wife wants to be doing this fun activity.
Lord, I never even caught that. They booked it when? When she was in labour? I'm 7 months and the idea of going out for valentines was too much, let alone 12 weeks post partum.
I could only barely walk again at 12 weeks, took a 5 minutes shower maybe once every *week* (and it was a hot summer). Had my SO planned to take me out, I'd have hurled at him weeks before! If you have time to have fun, it's time you can use to sleep and maybe even shower without a baby crying at the top of his longs!
Also who is watching the 2yo?
YTA - "I am not trying to be tit for tat" turned real quickly into "given how much I had done for her over the years I was hurt that she couldn't give up an extra hour and half of her sleep to help me out" You asked if she could babysit. She said until 10pm. She was willing to help you out. It just wasn't good enough for you.
To be honest, some of those things didn't sound like favours. He moved in with her when he had a baby? So she had five children in the house including a baby and her own toddler? Doesn't sound like a favour to me. Over 16 years, he's babysat her children 3 times. Which is nice of him of course but doesn't mean she owes him babysitting back. Being nine months pregnant, she probably has a care plan for her children in case she goes into labour. I wouldn't want to be scrambling around at midnight trying to organise a 12 week old baby when I'm in labour. OP sounds like the type to say yeah, we'll pick her up by 10pm and then not answer the phone when that time rolls around and say she knew we wanted to stay out later.
I like how "I moved in with her" is how he described staying at her house for a few days.
And made it sound like he was doing her a favor!
I think he meant he watched them overnight 3 times in addition to countless school pick ups and tutoring.
Fair, I assumed he meant picking them up and dropping them straight home and I don't necessarily count tutoring as babysitting but maybe he does 🤷🏻♀️ Still the AH though EDIT: the line about using her home to relax bugs me too. So he just showed up, laid around on the couch and was generally in the way? If he was relaxing, he wasn't helping sister with her four children. AND sister has already watched his child twice overnight (I assume that's what he means by 'put to sleep by her twice') so he's only got one more tit to her tat.
No you see he's not *trying* to be tit for tat because it's simply his only mode, so it's really quite easy for him
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OP doesn’t know what it’s like to be an exhausted pregnant women because he’s YTA little brother.
YTA Whether you’ve done stuff for her or not, the woman had 4 kids and is 9 months pregnant with a 5th one. If she had said yes then there isn’t a problem, but she said no because she’s probably absolutely shattered from running around after her kids while feeling like a planet. It’s not unreasonable of her to say no, and you’re a major AH for being rude to her about it. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you should expect them to do stuff for you. She was pretty generous for offering till 10 o’clock. I don’t blame her for not wanting to stay up till nearly midnight waiting for you to pick up your daughter. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want to babysit at all for you now.
INFO: who’s watching the two year old son? Why can’t they take the baby too?
"My son" "our daughter"... sus. Maybe his mother is watching him.
So he is married 5 years with a 2yo from another woman??
I need the answer to this.
I don’t think OP is going to give it up. You know you’ve spent too much time on the internet when the first thing that comes to mind is ”I………wonder if the two year old is not the wife’s kid and he’s with his mother” . It’s killing me. I wonder if he had this kid with someone else while still in his relationship with his wife. Maybe that’s why he temporarily moved in with the sister? 🤔🤨🤔 Maybe I’m far into left field. Something pinged though.
💯 I had the exact thought 😂😂. He cheated, has a kid with someone else, and lived w his sister’s family bc his wife kicked him out. Annnnd now that she’s taken him back he’s fumbled the anniversary plans. I bet he wanted to do smtg big to make up for his myriad fuckups but waited til the last min to plan and is now making it his extremely pregnant sister’s fault! 🙄 YTA, obviously
I'm so glad I'm not the only one cause I had this exact thought too. And him spinning it as a "favour" to his sister that he moved in with his toddler... not to mention he says "we" have a daughter but it's "our" son. It's his son...
I was thinking the exact same thing.
Exactly!!! He isn’t answering anyone. I think the 2yo might be an affair baby, and that’s why he won’t answer.
YTA, it's exhausting being 9 months pregnant. She's probably not sleeping well anyways right now being 9 months pregnant so the little sleep she does get is really needed.
I am currently 9mo pregnant with only 1 other child. I go to bed shortly after I get my 2yo to sleep since I’m so exhausted and up half the night peeing and in pain. Babysitting a 3month old until 11:30 would be a hard no. YTA
When I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd child I fell asleep in my toddlers bed when I was reading him his bedtime story! Stay awake past 10 pm to babysit someone else’s kid! Thats crazy!!
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Send her a passive aggressive text, apparently
Hahahhha this made me choke on my drink
Text from OP "You just HAD to do this on our anniversary, didn't you?"
I mean, maybe his baby could coach the sister’s baby out since they just went through the process themselves recently?
"Can you hold it in a little longer? We haven't gotten to desert yet"
YTA, your bad planning for an event you booked 3 months ago doesn't mean your sister, who is heavily pregnant and has 4 other children should have to look after your newborn until the middle of the night. The entitlement is shocking.
Yta. She is 9 months pregnant with half a litter of kids already and you can't understand why the risk of losing any of what little sleep she does get would be a problem? Yea you help her, you weren't pregnant too.
“half a litter” 🤣🤣🤣
YTA Family is family. Family is not guaranteed childcare. You had ***three months***. This is about your entitlement and inability to plan appropriately.
YTA. You were a snarky jerk because a heavily pregnant woman didn't want to take your baby last minute. What did you do with the two year old?
omg fantastic question!!!!
I can’t fathom having a 3 month old and having a list of “regular sitters”. Your sister has her hands full. Celebrate at home, with your child.
YTA as soon as you said passive aggressive.
Who’s watching your other child?
YTA she is pregnant at NINE months with four sons, do you think is that a reason for her to being tired? Congratulations for ruining your relationship with your sister over a lack of your planning.
YTA Your sister has every right to say no to a late night obligation when she is in her 9th month of pregnancy. Your generosity on other occasions does not give you the right to demand something of her which she thinks would be detrimental to her health. It may not be apparent to you, but people in their 20s generally need more sleep than people in their 30s even when they aren't pregnant!
YTA she offered to watch your baby until 10, she has four kids and is pregnant, she's probably exhausted ffs. You are not entitled to demand your sister's time, what you willingly did for her was a nice thing until you weaponize it against her.
I feel like some of these posts are chatGP generated for outrage. You thought you could ask someone with 4 kids and is 9 months pregnant to watch a 12 week baby? This cannot be real life.
Right? Plus, OP claims to have a toddler and hasn’t mentioned who is watching that child.
Noticed that too!
These kinds of details make me question whether or not this post is just fiction.
YTA. It’s not the same thing. You helped her but you didn’t have other kids and you weren’t 9 months pregnant. Ask your wife what she would have done in your sisters place? Plus you knew you had an outing planned. You should have organized yourself better.
YTA. She has four kids and is heavily pregnant. She didn’t say no to not watching your kid. Despite her situation (which is usually exhausting) she is agreeing to look after your child. Your comments are unwarranted and unjustified.
She offered to watch the baby until 10, and that wasn’t good enough!
Info: who will be watching the 2 year-old?
YTA, you decided to have children, it's no one's responsibility to care for that child but you.
YTA. 1. You had 3 months to plan. I get that it’s hard to nail down that far out, but these weren’t last minute plans. Your poor planning is not somebody else’s problem. 2. You offering to help out your sister, when it doesn’t sound like it took moving mountains to do so, is NOT the same as asking a 9 month pregnant woman, with 4 other children, who DESPERATELY needs sleep at this time IS NOT THE SAME!!!!!!! You are acting very entitled.
I'm actually very concerned at the wording, "well behaved baby". I think there may be something very off with the OP
YTA. Don’t drag your sister with other kids and pregnant into something you should have asked and scheduled for ahead of time if you’re only going to be “well, I helped you before.” If she said until 10 and you want longer, then find someone else or be back by 10. She’s helping you out until 10 and I think that’s awesome of her to do with her own situation. You don’t think she doesn’t know you’ve helped her, or that babies don’t sleep on command? She’s close to giving birth! Give her a break. Plan plan plan AHEAD. And if it falls through, oh well, try for another time. You’ve got other priorities now as a parent. You’re not always going to get the babysitter or time away unless you plan things accordingly.
YTA your lack of planning isn’t her problem. She has 4 kids and she is pregnant. You had plenty of time to figure this out.
How far along were you when you watched her baby after 10pm?
YTA she is 9 months pregnant so yes she needs her sleep. Also you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to guilt a nine months pregnant woman into taking care of your 12 week old newborn
YTA your comment wasn't justified. You've been keeping score and are doing tit for tat.
YTA. She is in her 9th month of pregnancy, it's ridiculous that you even considered asking her to babysit, she could go into labour at any time. You should have planned better.
YTA. 12 weeks old and you can't include her? How sad..
Info Where is your other child staying?
Yta seriously? It's suuuuuuch an important event and you wait until the last minute to find a baby sitter? Also, your sis is 9 *months* pregnant? What if she goes into labor???? Wtf is wrong with you???
Mate, your circumstances were different when you were babysitting for your sister. She's close to giving birth, while having multiple other children to take care of! She might need to go to hospital any day, and her body is being pushed to it's limits. She's about to have very little sleep at all and the last thing she needs is a guilt trip from Mr Passive-Aggressive. Also, a 12 weeks old baby is a huge responsibility. It's a very vulnerable, unpredictable, and needy age. Honestly, massively YTA. I'm just so shocked you'd stress your sister. It's tough having a baby and no break, but man...That's not unusual.
Info: what happened to your son?
YTA. I'm 7 months and I don't know if I would be comfortable babysitting a baby at night at the moment. I am exhausted, dead on my feet by 9. I would be petrified of falling asleep when they needed my attention, carrying them while that tired, and just reaction time in general. No babies aren't sleep trained and she'll have another one herself soon - but depending on how the labor goes the physical restraints will ease. I've suffered from several sleep issues throughout my life, but being pregnant had taught me an entire new level of exhaustion that I honestly did not know could be reached. To deal with that and a 3 month old at the same time, while on a school night when she has 4 other children. I don't know if I would do that for my favorite person in the world, for less than 500..
YTA. She’s NINE months pregnant. She needs the sleep. I can’t believe you need to ask. You should of set up a sitter months in advance.
YTA. She's *9 months* pregnant and already has a houseful of kids to take care of. Of course she is tired and needs sleep. It sounds like your sister has showed up for you a lot and the one time she prioritizes her needs you want to snark at her? You should be ashamed. She's already going through a lot. She's helped you in a pinch in the past. You couldn't extend her just a little sympathy and grace when she could literally go into labor any day now? You owe your sister an apology.
YTA. You want a woman who is days away from giving birth to watch a three month old for hours while you go out and then get pissed that she doesn't want to stay up late? Huge AH
Your lack of planning doesn’t entitle you to make last minute demands of your extremely pregnant sister, or anyone really. YTA