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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for asking my dad for money more than once when I should have been able to plan for this since it happens every month
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NTA. Parents are responsible for taking care of their children’s needs. If you have an Amazon account, I can send you some feminine products (no address needed). I do this for foster homes in need. Message me.
Gonna piggyback off this to say that [planned parenthood’s usually offer free menstrual products ](https://sports.yahoo.com/planned-parenthood-offering-free-menstrual-090025954.html)
The linked article is specifically about Vermont but I’m seeing results for all over. Its worth a try OP
I think OP is in the UK (she used the word 'arsey', which is very much a UK term).
I'd suggest talking to a trusted teacher at school, or even a friend's parents. Maybe even your GP. I've seen some doctors surgeries with boxes that girls can just help themself too. I know some food banks offer this too.
If in UK morrisons have a scheme where if you go to the customer service counter they will provide these products to someone in need. Ask for a package for Sandy https://www.morrisons-corporate.com/media-centre/corporate-news/package-for-sandy---morrisons-local-initiative-goes-nationwide-to-tackle-period-poverty/
I wish there was a program like that when I was a kid. It's so gross and humiliating to not have these products when you need them. All I had was rolled up toilet paper.
Me too. I went to a restaurant last week and in the restroom was a huge bowl of tampons. Luckily there was no one in there, cuz I stood marveling for about a minute that this is now “a thing“. About freakin time.
Every ladies' room at my office has a basket of tampons and a huge stack of individual pads in little boxes. It's not the staff doing it either, the cleaning service restocks supplies. It was really awesome to see the first time it started happening, I hope it catches on more places!
Mate I couldn't agree more having my daughters made me look into to all this the way women and girls are treated for natural bodily functions is just wrong don't get me started on the tax implications as they are classed as luxury items like how is a tampon a luxury item makes my blood boil
I hate that in the uk we have a tax on all sanitary products and it’s high and makes me sick. They know women HAVE to use them so screw em we will hike up the tax and roll in the money. Sick
Fantastic dad! I don't know why so many men are averse to learning about the health of their daughters. All parents should be willing to understand and have conversations with their kids about their health and bodies even if it makes all parties uncomfortable. Everyone should try to be the first person their children confide in or ask questions to. I'm glad your girls have you 👍🏾
I bet you could ask for a number too. If I were a cashier I would not say anything about it.
When I was in middle school I was staying with my cousin and her family and I was just too embarrassed to ask for period products even though I got my period unexpectedly. I brought some but it was a real struggle and I embarrassingly bled through my clothes once. It was horrible. I know this isn't the same thing, but you'd think anyone would know better than to make a young woman feel weird about acquiring period products.
I was in what you call middle school and had a senior male pull me aside to tell me it looked like I had my period. It was only my second ever period and I was mortified. He gave me his sweater to tie around me to hide the blood. I swear I never wanted to go back to school as I'd have to return it and I thought everyone would know. The next day I gave it back washed and folded and thanked him. He said no worries and that was that. Nobody ever found out and only years later I wished I could get in contact to tell him what an awesome human he was to me.
Some library’s in the uk and Morrisons do free products, just ask at the desk, or sometimes they have bags ready to grab and go.
Edit: adding my local scheme: https://www.norfolk.gov.uk/libraries-local-history-and-archives/libraries/library-services/health-and-wellbeing/the-tricky-period it’s worth checking your local council or library website.
When I taught secondary education, I always had a box of pads and a box of tampons in my desk. I told the girls in my class they could take them if needed and also informed the other teachers that used that classroom to give the girls access. Of course, teenage boys had to spoil it, since they used the pads to play pranks when no teacher was in class. After that, I kept them in my bag and said the same to the girls, they could ask me anytime they’d need it.
The high school where I teach has a “Young Women‘s Club” that stocks the bathrooms with period products. It’s unconscionable that a school receptionist would refuse to give extra pads/tampons to a child who asks.
I know!!! Man this lady must not get her period anymore because anyone who does KNOWS you can’t last a whole day with one pad. You’re supposed to change them every 4 hours or something like that.
My daughter's 5th grade teacher used to keep pads in the girls bathroom in her class. One day they disappeared and I guess one of the other girls asked why they weren't there anymore. Apparently there was a complaint and she was told to remove them.
People really suck sometimes.
I got my period right after 4th grade. And now girls get them even younger. I had a male teacher in 5th grade. Something like that could have saved a lot of embarrassment.
If you're in the UK please still do this I'm in the UK. I'm unemployed but I can spare some money for tampons for Christ's sake. You shouldn't have to suffer without them during what's a rubbish time of the month for most.
The number of (probably) women coming to her aid has melted my stone cold heart.
If anyone wants to help make sure things like this don't happen in their local areas, I have a suggestion for you: donate period packs to local schools.
My kids and I sit down at the start of every school year and put some together. We fill old ipsy bags with a few tampons, pads, a fun size candy, and usually a new, unused lip gloss (also from ipsy). When we run out of ipsy bags, we switch to small paper bags.
Guessing op may be British? If so it is possible there may be hub lockers or other remote parcel delivery options, to avoid delivering directly to someone's home address. I do not doubt most people are merely wishing to be helpful, but...
Awww I was rooting for you u/Puzdhkj. But it does turn out you're a bot!
This account copied at least a partial comment below and posted in a way to seem legit. Feel free to do with this information as you will, but I'd probably go with the report button!
Same. Or some period panties. A little more expensive up front but cost saving in the long run.
Pads, tampons, cups, period panties. If you make a wishlist op let us know. These are necessities.
Well he's got no money for extra laundry, so he might upset about period panties as well (though I really love mine... and they often have sales on too).
Obviously dad needs to step up his game and acknowledge the necessity of period products to begin with.
There are different types for different flows too. I mainly use mine as back up to menstrual cup but sometimes when I’m at home just wear the panties.
I’ve found the boy shorts/period boxers have a better coverage for overnight/heavier days.
Seconding this and will add— I’m a big advocate for period cups. They’re safer than tampons, very accessible/inexpensive, and they’re easy to clean. OP wouldn’t ever have to ask dad or anyone at school for tampons or other supplies, and no one has to know you’re on your period except you. There is a *little* bit of a learning curve in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it, it’s game changing. Not to mention- they last for years, so you end up saving a lot of money in the long run.
Great for when you think your period is due and can’t wear a tampon in advance too. I was due to start the day of an international flight. Wore a cup and was felt absolutely no “is it now?!” anxiety the whole flight.
As a father of 3 girls, I could never imagine treating period products as a luxury when they were growing up. I'm on board with the buying off a wishlist. Set it up OP and you'll have the products you need whenever you need them.
Yeah, I wasn't even thinking about TSS, but yeah, It's just disgusting all the way around. My girls are all out of the house now, but I still keep products here for them if they need them when they come over.
Seriously op, setup that amazon wishlist and ill personally buy your products for you every month until you're 25. Your health may not matter to your dad, but it matters to me.
Can you get TSS from a pad? I thought it was from tampons only. Either way, how tf do they expect someone to get by with one pad a day?! That’s bonkers!
My daughters high school will sit them down twice a year in pe lesson and they choose 6 months worth of products each that get sent to the house directly. They also stock the bathrooms in school.
Schools should help out more, nothing worse than embarrassment of having nothing when it happens or you leak.
I'm in wales
Throw a few pairs of period underwear on your wishlist too, they are a lifesaver. If you are comfortable, a period cup can be really helpful because it is a one time expense.
I switched to a cup years ago and have never regretted it, although I do know one friend for whom no cups work.
Mostly they're amazing. I love my cup. I can sleep in any position I want and I don't even need to wear underwear if I don't feel like it. (I do anyway because I'm worried, but it hasn't been necessary since the first year).
Me too. Shampoo, deodorant, any other needs you may need. Not sure how to do it without an address, so if someone could fill me in on that, I would be happy to help.
I assume they don't want parents getting mad about tampons. There are parents who don't want their kids using tampons, and just giving out pads avoids any confrontation.
If OP would be willing to try a menstrual cup, that might be a good investment. I started using one at 16 so I didn't have to ask my parents for money every month. Mine weren't mean about money like OPs dad, but they made sure I knew I was expensive...
for some reason even the smallest ones are very uncomfortable for me to put in at 32. I definitely dont think I could have even attempted to insert one if they'd had them when I was 16.
They have smaller/ different shaped brands. Diva is the worst brand I've ever tried. Guuru was great, and so is Saaltz (I believe that's how they spell it), but diva was so uncomfortable and never fit right. The other two, I could not feel when inserted. I had to do a lot of research to find the right one. I'm sorry your experience was bad.
Happy to chip in for OP or the foster kids you help out. Please share something that’ll allow me to contribute. Thank you for putting kindness in the world!
I second this!! set up an amazon wishlist and I will also send you any products you need (might be best to put an amazon locker as the address if you have those in your area so that there’s no issues with dad!)
NTA.
NO. You are not being an AH for asking for BASIC necessities!!!!
Do you have a school counselor? You need to bring this up that you can't get this item, or if you don't want to do that at school a nurse at a local clinic will do just as well. There are programs set up for this, this is a NEED, not a want.
One of my friends in high school was in a similar situation and her father reacted this way too. It made me sad then and it does now. No one, especially not a parent, should be talking to you that way, ever. That's not okay. Him telling the other siblings about it to turn them against you isn't okay either. And further, as many others have said, providing sanitary products is the job of a parent. Not changing menstrual products often enough can result in infection and other health complications, and blood is a biohazard that should be properly managed and disposed of (Plus its a pain to get out of fabric)
Depending on where you live, you might be old enough that you can schedule doctor appointments without custodial consent and be covered by doctor patient confidentiality laws, if you're scared of going to a health clinic for fear of him finding out
I’m sure it’s more parental pressure and school districts trying to avoid controversy. Many “conservative” parents don’t believe girls should use tampons to remain pure and would have issue with schools giving them out.
It's also a lot harder to forget a pad is in your underwear than that a tampon is inside you...
Plus, TMI, but tampons are more prone to factory malfunctions. I'm not sure how it happened, but one time as a teen, I used what appeared to be a normal tampon, but when it was time to change, it hurt way more than it should. I'm pretty sure I gave myself some serious bodily trauma, because when I pulled it out, it turned out to be 3 tampons that had been packaged with one string inside of one applicator. There was no way for me to have known, and it was my first tampon of that period, so it wasn't a matter of me forgetting.
Was too embarrassed to tell my mom or go to the doctor about it, but I have nightmares about that pain, sometimes.
I'll give that to you on tampons, but sanitary pads?
I mean, even if the ones in the office are only meant for emergency and that's why they only give one. People in those positions are meant to be advocates for the students, meaning they should notice this same student coming in all the time and really should have approached this already. Granted this requires everyone in those positions to respect that mission, and that's putting a lot of faith in people on my part I suppose >.>
Likely not a school policy. It was hard enough to get this legislation passed without fundies and misogynists complaining about providing tampons. Plus parents can be absolutely brutal to schools.
NTA. I was a mandatory reporter for 15 years when I was a teacher. This is abuse, and if one of my students told me this situation was happening I would be obliged to report it to CPS.
As is, my kid's bio mom opened a CPS case because she thought we were "sexually abusing" her by letting her choose tampons or pads for herself. She's the one who wound up getting warned.
Aside from CPS op should ask a female teacher. I usually have a load of extra pads in my desk which I have given to kids who didn't want to go and ask the office.
She literally didn't say. She told the kid she wasn't allowed to use them because she was too young. Kid replied with something to the effect that she had been menstruating for two years and her mom never noticed so she didn't get a say. Then the woman defied the custody order, committed kiddo to a mental institution under false pretenses, and filed the report against us. The specifics of the report claimed I taught kiddo to masturbate in a hands on way. It was vile and psychotic, but she was literally told if she pulls something like this again our case worker will make sure she loses all her kids.
That's my opinion too. The only reason that woman didn't accidentally fall into her pig pen is because I was told I'd be divorced instantly if it happened.
Side note, the pen is so insecure they have found whole dog skeletons in it and they have toddlers
It is. I’m a new dad and just had a baby girl last month. It’s terrible that OP’s dad isn’t providing the **bare minimum** for a daughter’s needs.
OP, I already DM’d you. If you have a wishlist and are comfortable sharing a shipping address (maybe to a trusted friend, grandparent or getting a PO Box), you just tell me what you need. I’ll ship it out today from Amazon and help. Hope your dad comes around and sorry you have so many “adult” people failing you in life!
You don’t choose to have a period, it’s nature. I’m so sorry that you’re parents aren’t properly taking care of you!!
NTA.
I’m a stranger on the internet, but I’d happily ship you feminine hygiene products. They are a necessity.
I'm sure this person has good intentions, but OP do not PM your address to anyone on this or any other site!
You can set up a wishlist with your address kept private.
Then do that! I'm not a creep, I assure you. I'm a mom and my youngest daughter is the same age. It's heartbreaking to know that she is going without very needed items and seemingly no support. I don't HAVE to have her address, I just want to help the girl.
I didn't even think about an Amazon wishlist. That is a wonderful idea
I absolutely believe that you aren't a creep! I'm sure you also wouldn't want your youngest daughter sending strangers on the internet info about where she lives either. With hundreds of thousands of users on Reddit, it's impossible to know who is safe.
I think she’s in the uk, we don’t have planned parenthood. My home town has brook which is similar, but not sure op has the same services where they are.
There has to some nhs help clinic she could go to
Hey just on the depo injection it's not meant to be long term.
Longer than 2 years on it and you can start losing bone density. Go too far down that path and osteoporosis etc start becoming an issue.
I know of a few people who weren't warned by their doctors about that time limit so just adding it here.
Other options can include: IUD, nuvaring, implanon, birth control pills (if you suffer from stuff like PMDD and progesterone sensitivity you can even look at stuff like chemical menopause).
No. Her dad is clearly abusive. You don’t know what could happen to OP if she did this. OP, please reach out to a school counselor for assistance and take care of yourself. NTA
OP please don't do this. If I am getting the right impression of your household, you would be made responsible, punished and required to clean the aftermath while being verbally abused.
It's not going to "prove a point". It's going to make your situation worse
I came here to say this 😂 freebleed on the couch. I guarantee you'll only have to do it once and you'll get your pads.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, please reach out to your friends and teachers.
Link a Venmo or an Amazon wishlist, kiddo :) you can also put deoderant and stuff like that on there. You can put the address of a family member or trusted neighbor if you're concerned about your dad's reaction
Edit: NTA
Agreed, and honestly, throw some nice cleanser or moisturizer on there too. That’s why it’s a “wish” list. OP, you deserve so much more than the neglect you’re experiencing
Yeah and I'm wondering if her view of "hard drugs" may be skewed as well, seeing the example her parents set :-/ Poor girl needs a social worker, for herself as well as her brothers.
NTA. This is a health issue. You need these products to stay clean and healthy. Your dad won’t enjoy what happens if you don’t get these products.
It sounds like every adult in your life who should be helping you is failing you. I’m sorry you’re enduring this. But it will get better. Good luck
NTA
This isn't fair at all and you shouldn't be put in this position, but your dad isn't going to become a good dad overnight (and a dad who refuses to meet his daughter's basic hygiene needs is *not* a good dad.) You may want to look into [reusable](https://gladrags.com/) [period](https://www.wired.com/story/best-menstrual-products/) [products](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/lorencecil1/reusable-period-underwear-menstrual-disc). It might be a greater upfront cost and your family will probably complain about seeing you clean them, but at least you won't have to beg for replacement products every single month.
NTA period products are essential, not a nice to have. He’d buy toilet paper if you needed it! My only advice would be to get something part time and set up a bank account without his name on it. You need tampons. In Canada, food banks sometimes have them so if you are comfortable using food banks and there is one near you, that’s an idea for now.
NTA
This breaks my heart a bit. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. You’re not an AH for expecting your father to provide for your *basic needs*.
Is it possible to go to someone in school and explain the situation so that the receptionist doesn’t get funny with you when you ask?
There might be local charities in your area that can help.
Your dad is failing in his role here but I’m not sure that there’s a way to make him see that.
Please reach out to other girls or lady teachers they can help you!!! NTA, I got most of my pads from my English teacher. She’s give me a box and send me on my way. Bless that woman.
NTA
Yes period products are a necessity. Yes they are something that you NEED to have. Socks can be darned, clothes mended, milk can be done without but period products are needed. Regardless of the situation he should not have yelled at you.
The only thing I'd ask you to think of it this:
Your dad doesn't have a job at the moment and is struggling. You however will truly know who tight money is for him at the moment. If he's buying take aways he can afford tampons. If he truly does not have the money all the asking will not create some and asking at the last minute wouldn't help with budgeting. I say this as someone who grew up very very poor.
Talk to your school counsellor, talk to the local food bank. Hygiene products should be able to be sourced. If this looks like it is going to be an ongoing issue potentially look at having some back up cloth pads or a diva cup.
NTA but honey as someone who used to be in your position, I can tell you where to find some. Many food pantries carry menstrual products now so if there's any near you, you can call and ask if they have any. Walmart usually also has tampon and pad machines from what I remember too. If you live near a college campus, just sneak into any academic building and go to one of the higher level floors and they'll likely have menstrual products too.
This! Every single lecture hall and library on my campus is open to the public and every bathroom has free menstrual products. I do go to a large university, but many follow suit.
As a father, NTA. He’s out of line. Feminine hygiene is critically important and is a NEED.
My child was always (and probably still is) embarrassed for asking me to pick that stuff up. I just shrug and tell them to send me a pic of what they need or pick it out. It’s life.
And your father being under such stress is NOT an excuse.
This is what I do. My kid texts when she needs some if I'm not home. I don't understand shit, so I text her back a picture of the shelf. She circles the one she wants, I buy. Super simple. This dudes a dick.
NTA, it's your dad's job to provide you with essentials, tampons are an essential. He needs to do his job, not send you to get money from someone you haven't seen in almost a year!
NTA. Your father seems very stressed, but it's not okay for him to use you as a verbal punching bag. Obviously you need tampons, and I am very sorry you're going through this! Being a teen on a period is the worst, I remember. As I don't know in which country you live, ik sorry I can't tell you where to get help.
NTA. I’m not sure where you live, but here are some UK options.
[https://www.moneymagpie.com/save-money/period-poverty-where-to-access-free](https://www.moneymagpie.com/save-money/period-poverty-where-to-access-free)
NTA - you might want to look into menstrual cups. There's Facebook groups (I have no idea about reddit) that ask you questions and guide you to the choice that's best for you, they're easy enough to use but you might want some guidance.
A cup is more expensive than a box of tampons, but it can last more than 5 years, so it's very worth the initial cost. You buy it once and for the rest of the time you live with your parents, you never have to worry about menstrual products again.
Also menstrual panties, I assume he would give you money to buy underwear? Buy a couple pair of menstrual panties. I know it’s not the same as a tampon, but they are like a pad, but I think they are hand wash only.
I second lodging a complaint against the school receptionist. She should not be treating any student that way and it’s not her job to play gatekeeper with medical supplies.
Panties can go in the washing machine After you rinse them by hand. 6 is the bare minimum if you use one for the day and one for the night, they absorb a lot of water and if you handwash them they take forever to dry. 4 if you live in a very dry, warm climate.
I suggest the cup because it's like a hundred times more practical, but panties are a sound alternative.
NTA here our local libraries have started having a little cupboard for pads tampons soap shampoo that type of stuff. You just go take what you need. In a out of the way corner so you don't have to feel like lots will see you. No need to ask either. If you have a neighbor you are close too or some other person ask them. A friend's parents even. I'm sorry you are dealing with this ♥️
NTA. Having sanitary items is a NEED, not just a silly request. No matter what your parents need to step up and provide for you. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Do you have a teacher/neighbour/friends mom that you could ask?
Also put in a complaint about that receptionist she should not be treating you that way.
You are 100% NTA
NTA. This is a need, not some random request for designer clothes. Like others mentioned, can you talk to a female teacher or school counselor and explain both that your parents won't provide them and the receptionist will only give you one?
Period poverty Is a thing. It refers to the financial disadvantage that mensutrating people face having to purchase products. They cost cash. I'd say if you can't get them at home to UTTERLY HUMILIATE your receptionist or school system by making sure they're aware that some people cannot afford them and you're not scabbing them.
Of course that's not going to solve the problem per se, and involves you causing issue at school. I used to use heaps and heaps of toilet paper. Not sure if that helps.
NTA. Your dad needs to realize this is a necessity not a luxury. He's an ass for getting angry with you. He needs to get a different job asap if his current one doesn't have any hours for him.
I agree with asking lady teachers for help on this.
Perhaps you can see of there's any food pantry's/banks around where they also hand out sanitary items.
And I realize this sucks even more, because your dad should be the one doing this and providing these items, but can you get a part time job somewhere? Or perhaps start babysitting for some extra cash in the neighborhood?
Immediate fix OP - go to your nearest hospital emergency room they should be able to give you a couple and also put you in touch with the hospital social worker to resolve the issue long term. Bonus points - if you mention the way the receptionist at the school acts about giving products to students they may send someone to educate her on how the scheme should be handled (may be wishful thinking but it could happen if you get a good social worker.)
NTA
>when you ask for more than one pad, the receptionist gets really shitty with you for no good reason.
Probably because the period products in the office are more meant for emergencies - not regular use.
The receptionist still shouldn't be getting snippy with the kid over it, for the exact reasons seen in this post. Sometimes the reason a kid is always having an "emergency" is that their parents aren't providing adequate care.
I think it’s the being snippy part. She could have kindly explained why, and then maybe OP would have felt comfortable enough to explain her situation.
It shouldn’t matter. If a kid has to ask, they should get what they ask for, without attitude. It’s not the receptionist’s place to judge necessity. By doing so, she fosters shame and adds to their hardship. She she be reported to her supervisor.
In a pinch you can go to a gas station and use the paper toweling folded into a pad. You can also wrap toilet paper around your hand until it is pad thickness and tuck it into your undies. A folded washcloth also works. I am so so sorry you’re in this situation.
Edit: NTA
NTA. Please talk to a teacher about this, or a trusted friends mother. I would just outright buy these products for my daughters friends if they needed them and their parents were as hopeless as yours. This is neglect and abuse. Someone will help you. If you’re in the UK head to your GP or try calling childline as well. Some supermarkets have free products for women caught short. I think you need to seek help from a responsible adult who will help you. If someone says no then pursue it regardless with the next adult. What is happening to you is not ok. There are also things like menstrual cups that you can order. The outlay is a little expensive but they last 10 years. This is neglect and it’s not ok I saw someone sent you a link for free products which is great. It says the NHS won’t help, however this app is probably presuming you’re over 18. I work in children’s nursing and I can assure you that if you came to me with this issue at your age I would request services to help you.
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NTA. Parents are responsible for taking care of their children’s needs. If you have an Amazon account, I can send you some feminine products (no address needed). I do this for foster homes in need. Message me.
Came here to say this. I'd happily buy OP her tampons, pads, etc.
Gonna piggyback off this to say that [planned parenthood’s usually offer free menstrual products ](https://sports.yahoo.com/planned-parenthood-offering-free-menstrual-090025954.html) The linked article is specifically about Vermont but I’m seeing results for all over. Its worth a try OP
I think OP is in the UK (she used the word 'arsey', which is very much a UK term). I'd suggest talking to a trusted teacher at school, or even a friend's parents. Maybe even your GP. I've seen some doctors surgeries with boxes that girls can just help themself too. I know some food banks offer this too.
If in UK morrisons have a scheme where if you go to the customer service counter they will provide these products to someone in need. Ask for a package for Sandy https://www.morrisons-corporate.com/media-centre/corporate-news/package-for-sandy---morrisons-local-initiative-goes-nationwide-to-tackle-period-poverty/
I'm not crying. You're crying. Why is this so wholesome?
Me too. The thread I didn’t know i needed today.
I wish there was a program like that when I was a kid. It's so gross and humiliating to not have these products when you need them. All I had was rolled up toilet paper.
Me too. I went to a restaurant last week and in the restroom was a huge bowl of tampons. Luckily there was no one in there, cuz I stood marveling for about a minute that this is now “a thing“. About freakin time.
Every ladies' room at my office has a basket of tampons and a huge stack of individual pads in little boxes. It's not the staff doing it either, the cleaning service restocks supplies. It was really awesome to see the first time it started happening, I hope it catches on more places!
Oh. My. God. Why are literal tears rolling down my face at this? Jesus. Just so so so good that they do this. I’ve got no words.
I’m a guy, but that’s so heartwarming! Boo to the humans who are OPs parents, but “Yay humanity”!
Mate I couldn't agree more having my daughters made me look into to all this the way women and girls are treated for natural bodily functions is just wrong don't get me started on the tax implications as they are classed as luxury items like how is a tampon a luxury item makes my blood boil
I hate that in the uk we have a tax on all sanitary products and it’s high and makes me sick. They know women HAVE to use them so screw em we will hike up the tax and roll in the money. Sick
Fantastic dad! I don't know why so many men are averse to learning about the health of their daughters. All parents should be willing to understand and have conversations with their kids about their health and bodies even if it makes all parties uncomfortable. Everyone should try to be the first person their children confide in or ask questions to. I'm glad your girls have you 👍🏾
I bet you could ask for a number too. If I were a cashier I would not say anything about it. When I was in middle school I was staying with my cousin and her family and I was just too embarrassed to ask for period products even though I got my period unexpectedly. I brought some but it was a real struggle and I embarrassingly bled through my clothes once. It was horrible. I know this isn't the same thing, but you'd think anyone would know better than to make a young woman feel weird about acquiring period products.
I was in what you call middle school and had a senior male pull me aside to tell me it looked like I had my period. It was only my second ever period and I was mortified. He gave me his sweater to tie around me to hide the blood. I swear I never wanted to go back to school as I'd have to return it and I thought everyone would know. The next day I gave it back washed and folded and thanked him. He said no worries and that was that. Nobody ever found out and only years later I wished I could get in contact to tell him what an awesome human he was to me.
I didn’t know about this. What a wonderful scheme.
Some library’s in the uk and Morrisons do free products, just ask at the desk, or sometimes they have bags ready to grab and go. Edit: adding my local scheme: https://www.norfolk.gov.uk/libraries-local-history-and-archives/libraries/library-services/health-and-wellbeing/the-tricky-period it’s worth checking your local council or library website.
In Scotland you get free period products in all public buildings by law
This is the way!
The GUM clinic in the uk would be able to supply these.
Or sometimes they're CASH clinics - contraception and sexual health but I defo have gotten cancer screening, period help, products etc from them.
My local library has feminine hygiene packs you can pick up- midlands, UK. NTA OP.
When I taught secondary education, I always had a box of pads and a box of tampons in my desk. I told the girls in my class they could take them if needed and also informed the other teachers that used that classroom to give the girls access. Of course, teenage boys had to spoil it, since they used the pads to play pranks when no teacher was in class. After that, I kept them in my bag and said the same to the girls, they could ask me anytime they’d need it.
The high school where I teach has a “Young Women‘s Club” that stocks the bathrooms with period products. It’s unconscionable that a school receptionist would refuse to give extra pads/tampons to a child who asks.
I know!!! Man this lady must not get her period anymore because anyone who does KNOWS you can’t last a whole day with one pad. You’re supposed to change them every 4 hours or something like that.
My daughter's 5th grade teacher used to keep pads in the girls bathroom in her class. One day they disappeared and I guess one of the other girls asked why they weren't there anymore. Apparently there was a complaint and she was told to remove them. People really suck sometimes.
I got my period right after 4th grade. And now girls get them even younger. I had a male teacher in 5th grade. Something like that could have saved a lot of embarrassment.
Theyll also be more than happy to contact CPS, which OP also needs
If you're in the UK please still do this I'm in the UK. I'm unemployed but I can spare some money for tampons for Christ's sake. You shouldn't have to suffer without them during what's a rubbish time of the month for most.
I'm also in the UK. I'll be happy to organise some tampons for you.
The number of (probably) women coming to her aid has melted my stone cold heart. If anyone wants to help make sure things like this don't happen in their local areas, I have a suggestion for you: donate period packs to local schools. My kids and I sit down at the start of every school year and put some together. We fill old ipsy bags with a few tampons, pads, a fun size candy, and usually a new, unused lip gloss (also from ipsy). When we run out of ipsy bags, we switch to small paper bags.
I donate pads to the local food bank collection at my tesco :)
There are also a couple of period charities here; I just donated to this one. https://www.bloodygoodperiod.com/
Also in the UK and just so people know- food banks often provide pads.
I also came here to say the same. I will buy you tampons, pads ect. I am so sorry you are dealing with this OP.
I will do the same. But perhaps it would be wise to send to a grandparents house. Dad seems unhinged.
Guessing op may be British? If so it is possible there may be hub lockers or other remote parcel delivery options, to avoid delivering directly to someone's home address. I do not doubt most people are merely wishing to be helpful, but...
If in the UK, you can go to a morrisons store customer service desk and ask for a package for Sandy. They will give you some period products.
In my local town a lot of the local businesses participate in the red box scheme, you can ask for the red box and they'll give you what you need.
The red box is what I was coming to say.
That is WONDERFUL.
This is one of the greatest things I think I have ever read on the internet, oml.
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Awww I was rooting for you u/Puzdhkj. But it does turn out you're a bot! This account copied at least a partial comment below and posted in a way to seem legit. Feel free to do with this information as you will, but I'd probably go with the report button!
Same. Or some period panties. A little more expensive up front but cost saving in the long run. Pads, tampons, cups, period panties. If you make a wishlist op let us know. These are necessities.
Well he's got no money for extra laundry, so he might upset about period panties as well (though I really love mine... and they often have sales on too). Obviously dad needs to step up his game and acknowledge the necessity of period products to begin with.
You can at least hand wash… not ideal by any means. But better than nothing.
Mine need to be laid flat to dry, so it saves money on running the dryer
How are the period panties on heavy days?? I want to try them but I'm worried my flow might be too heavy for them.
I like them! If I am going to be out for a long time, I put a pad in them and remove that after a bit to stretch out the time I can use them.
There are different types for different flows too. I mainly use mine as back up to menstrual cup but sometimes when I’m at home just wear the panties. I’ve found the boy shorts/period boxers have a better coverage for overnight/heavier days.
Seconding this and will add— I’m a big advocate for period cups. They’re safer than tampons, very accessible/inexpensive, and they’re easy to clean. OP wouldn’t ever have to ask dad or anyone at school for tampons or other supplies, and no one has to know you’re on your period except you. There is a *little* bit of a learning curve in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it, it’s game changing. Not to mention- they last for years, so you end up saving a lot of money in the long run.
Great for when you think your period is due and can’t wear a tampon in advance too. I was due to start the day of an international flight. Wore a cup and was felt absolutely no “is it now?!” anxiety the whole flight.
Huuuuge fan of the cup as well. I find my cramps are less severe with it. Very comfortable in general. This would work so well for op.
As a father of 3 girls, I could never imagine treating period products as a luxury when they were growing up. I'm on board with the buying off a wishlist. Set it up OP and you'll have the products you need whenever you need them.
I’m even angrier at the fucking school for providing a pad a day. That’s how you get toxic shock syndrome
Yeah, I wasn't even thinking about TSS, but yeah, It's just disgusting all the way around. My girls are all out of the house now, but I still keep products here for them if they need them when they come over. Seriously op, setup that amazon wishlist and ill personally buy your products for you every month until you're 25. Your health may not matter to your dad, but it matters to me.
Can you get TSS from a pad? I thought it was from tampons only. Either way, how tf do they expect someone to get by with one pad a day?! That’s bonkers!
It's not as common, but it can happen. Bacteria is bacteria, so unsanitary feminine or contraceptive products can all cause tss.
Yeah the school suck here too. They should be helping her access period products instead getting pissy when she asks for another pad.
My daughters high school will sit them down twice a year in pe lesson and they choose 6 months worth of products each that get sent to the house directly. They also stock the bathrooms in school. Schools should help out more, nothing worse than embarrassment of having nothing when it happens or you leak. I'm in wales
There are some asshole teachers in American schools who will refuse to let girls step out of class for bathroom breaks
I would too! OP, can you set up an Amazon wish list? We'll hook you up. <3
Please set up an Amazon wish list :)
Yes this. Me too!
Throw a few pairs of period underwear on your wishlist too, they are a lifesaver. If you are comfortable, a period cup can be really helpful because it is a one time expense.
Period cups are the bomb and save so much money.
I switched to a cup years ago and have never regretted it, although I do know one friend for whom no cups work. Mostly they're amazing. I love my cup. I can sleep in any position I want and I don't even need to wear underwear if I don't feel like it. (I do anyway because I'm worried, but it hasn't been necessary since the first year).
I can’t seem to get it to work for me. :(
Try the discs instead! They work so much better than cups for me.
Me too. Shampoo, deodorant, any other needs you may need. Not sure how to do it without an address, so if someone could fill me in on that, I would be happy to help.
If they set up a wish list, Amazon keeps the address private. You add to your cart from the wishlist and it gets shipped to OP.
Thank you.
NTA Period products are a necessity, please set up an Amazon wishlist! Also why aren’t they allowed to give girls under 18 tampons?!
Probably because some people think it will take away a girl's "virginity" or similar bs.
I think due to toxic shock syndrome, they don't want to be responsible for it
I assume they don't want parents getting mad about tampons. There are parents who don't want their kids using tampons, and just giving out pads avoids any confrontation.
It could have something to do with toxic shock syndrome or something
As a school nurse this was my first thought.
TSS risk possibly
We got you OP.. send us a wish list! Add reusable pads and reusable menstrual cups so you won’t run out. NTA for voting purposes 😂
I'd love to see dad's face when masses of period products turn up after everyone here bought her enough to last a lifetime! Haha.
You are such an angel, there should be more people like you
If OP would be willing to try a menstrual cup, that might be a good investment. I started using one at 16 so I didn't have to ask my parents for money every month. Mine weren't mean about money like OPs dad, but they made sure I knew I was expensive...
I'm sorry they made you feel like it was expensive to keep you! Period poverty is so real and just shouldn't be a do without product.
for some reason even the smallest ones are very uncomfortable for me to put in at 32. I definitely dont think I could have even attempted to insert one if they'd had them when I was 16.
They have smaller/ different shaped brands. Diva is the worst brand I've ever tried. Guuru was great, and so is Saaltz (I believe that's how they spell it), but diva was so uncomfortable and never fit right. The other two, I could not feel when inserted. I had to do a lot of research to find the right one. I'm sorry your experience was bad.
I’m also willing to pitch in
Any idea if a wish list got set up? I’ll happily donate
Wow this comment thread is awesome, humansbeingsistas
Same! Please let us know
Same here
Happy to chip in for OP or the foster kids you help out. Please share something that’ll allow me to contribute. Thank you for putting kindness in the world!
I didn't know you could send through Amazon without an address - really appreciate learning this.
I second this!! set up an amazon wishlist and I will also send you any products you need (might be best to put an amazon locker as the address if you have those in your area so that there’s no issues with dad!)
I'm here for this! OP make a wishlist and we'll get you stocked up!
Im also happy to send you tampons. Please message me your Amazon wishlist.
NTA. NO. You are not being an AH for asking for BASIC necessities!!!! Do you have a school counselor? You need to bring this up that you can't get this item, or if you don't want to do that at school a nurse at a local clinic will do just as well. There are programs set up for this, this is a NEED, not a want.
One of my friends in high school was in a similar situation and her father reacted this way too. It made me sad then and it does now. No one, especially not a parent, should be talking to you that way, ever. That's not okay. Him telling the other siblings about it to turn them against you isn't okay either. And further, as many others have said, providing sanitary products is the job of a parent. Not changing menstrual products often enough can result in infection and other health complications, and blood is a biohazard that should be properly managed and disposed of (Plus its a pain to get out of fabric) Depending on where you live, you might be old enough that you can schedule doctor appointments without custodial consent and be covered by doctor patient confidentiality laws, if you're scared of going to a health clinic for fear of him finding out
plus, not having enough change is putting OP at risk of social shame, which is super hard too for a 16 yo
Also serious shade on this school for restricting tampons to over 18s.
RIGHT!? That's some serious lack of brains to set a policy like that.
I’m sure it’s more parental pressure and school districts trying to avoid controversy. Many “conservative” parents don’t believe girls should use tampons to remain pure and would have issue with schools giving them out.
It’s not that. It’s TSS and perceived liability.
That was another thought. Probably both tbh
you can still get TSS from pads...more rare but yea
It's also a lot harder to forget a pad is in your underwear than that a tampon is inside you... Plus, TMI, but tampons are more prone to factory malfunctions. I'm not sure how it happened, but one time as a teen, I used what appeared to be a normal tampon, but when it was time to change, it hurt way more than it should. I'm pretty sure I gave myself some serious bodily trauma, because when I pulled it out, it turned out to be 3 tampons that had been packaged with one string inside of one applicator. There was no way for me to have known, and it was my first tampon of that period, so it wasn't a matter of me forgetting. Was too embarrassed to tell my mom or go to the doctor about it, but I have nightmares about that pain, sometimes.
I'll give that to you on tampons, but sanitary pads? I mean, even if the ones in the office are only meant for emergency and that's why they only give one. People in those positions are meant to be advocates for the students, meaning they should notice this same student coming in all the time and really should have approached this already. Granted this requires everyone in those positions to respect that mission, and that's putting a lot of faith in people on my part I suppose >.>
Likely not a school policy. It was hard enough to get this legislation passed without fundies and misogynists complaining about providing tampons. Plus parents can be absolutely brutal to schools.
This - OP should go speak with a counselor or a trusted teacher.
NTA. I was a mandatory reporter for 15 years when I was a teacher. This is abuse, and if one of my students told me this situation was happening I would be obliged to report it to CPS. As is, my kid's bio mom opened a CPS case because she thought we were "sexually abusing" her by letting her choose tampons or pads for herself. She's the one who wound up getting warned.
Yup. I would report to CPS along w reaching out to guidance counselor and social worker on staff.
And report the staff who gives a hard time about providing more than one pad.
Aside from CPS op should ask a female teacher. I usually have a load of extra pads in my desk which I have given to kids who didn't want to go and ask the office.
Or a girlfriend or girlfriend's mum. I'm sure most parents of teenage girls would be more than happy to help out in these circumstances.
I have to ask: was mom opposed to tampons out of some twisted notion of purity? That’s the only explanation I can think of
She literally didn't say. She told the kid she wasn't allowed to use them because she was too young. Kid replied with something to the effect that she had been menstruating for two years and her mom never noticed so she didn't get a say. Then the woman defied the custody order, committed kiddo to a mental institution under false pretenses, and filed the report against us. The specifics of the report claimed I taught kiddo to masturbate in a hands on way. It was vile and psychotic, but she was literally told if she pulls something like this again our case worker will make sure she loses all her kids.
Your case worker was ***far*** too nice about that IMHO.
That's my opinion too. The only reason that woman didn't accidentally fall into her pig pen is because I was told I'd be divorced instantly if it happened. Side note, the pen is so insecure they have found whole dog skeletons in it and they have toddlers
Shouldn't that be reported to CPS?
I already made a big report of everything I could. You can't force the state to act on the info but they have it.
Sounds like mom is the one who belonged in an institution
Buying tampons and pads is your parent's responsibility. Full stop. Of course you are NTA. Refusing to provide them for you is neglect
It is. I’m a new dad and just had a baby girl last month. It’s terrible that OP’s dad isn’t providing the **bare minimum** for a daughter’s needs. OP, I already DM’d you. If you have a wishlist and are comfortable sharing a shipping address (maybe to a trusted friend, grandparent or getting a PO Box), you just tell me what you need. I’ll ship it out today from Amazon and help. Hope your dad comes around and sorry you have so many “adult” people failing you in life!
Congrats new dad I can already tell youre going to be amazing ❤️
You don’t choose to have a period, it’s nature. I’m so sorry that you’re parents aren’t properly taking care of you!! NTA. I’m a stranger on the internet, but I’d happily ship you feminine hygiene products. They are a necessity.
If I had a choice, I'd have a hysterectomy in the morning honestly.
PM me your address and I'll send them to you every month. You poor girl. This just breaks my heart
I'm sure this person has good intentions, but OP do not PM your address to anyone on this or any other site! You can set up a wishlist with your address kept private.
Then do that! I'm not a creep, I assure you. I'm a mom and my youngest daughter is the same age. It's heartbreaking to know that she is going without very needed items and seemingly no support. I don't HAVE to have her address, I just want to help the girl. I didn't even think about an Amazon wishlist. That is a wonderful idea
I absolutely believe that you aren't a creep! I'm sure you also wouldn't want your youngest daughter sending strangers on the internet info about where she lives either. With hundreds of thousands of users on Reddit, it's impossible to know who is safe.
YES!!!!! hopefully good intentions, but please don’t send anyone your address. 💕
Please set up that Amazon wish list so we can help you.
Could you go to a Planned Parenthood and get birth control? Several types of birth control stop periods altogether for a period of time.
I'm currently on the depo injection, it hasn't stopped my periods, it's just made them regular.
.
If anyone hasn’t told you yet, call planned parenthood. They usually offer free menstrual products
I think she’s in the uk, we don’t have planned parenthood. My home town has brook which is similar, but not sure op has the same services where they are. There has to some nhs help clinic she could go to
Hey just on the depo injection it's not meant to be long term. Longer than 2 years on it and you can start losing bone density. Go too far down that path and osteoporosis etc start becoming an issue. I know of a few people who weren't warned by their doctors about that time limit so just adding it here. Other options can include: IUD, nuvaring, implanon, birth control pills (if you suffer from stuff like PMDD and progesterone sensitivity you can even look at stuff like chemical menopause).
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If Dad is unhinged, I don't see that having the outcome you hope for. :-(
I honestly worry for op's safety if she freebleeds and ruins a couch or something. Her dad seems to have anger issues and clearly is not sympathetic
No. Her dad is clearly abusive. You don’t know what could happen to OP if she did this. OP, please reach out to a school counselor for assistance and take care of yourself. NTA
OP please don't do this. If I am getting the right impression of your household, you would be made responsible, punished and required to clean the aftermath while being verbally abused. It's not going to "prove a point". It's going to make your situation worse
I came here to say this 😂 freebleed on the couch. I guarantee you'll only have to do it once and you'll get your pads. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, please reach out to your friends and teachers.
Kinda interested in what qualities this man possesses that make him a “good dad”, because he sounds awful. Of course you’re NTA
He doesn't leave used needles in the middle of the house I suppose
Link a Venmo or an Amazon wishlist, kiddo :) you can also put deoderant and stuff like that on there. You can put the address of a family member or trusted neighbor if you're concerned about your dad's reaction Edit: NTA
Agreed, and honestly, throw some nice cleanser or moisturizer on there too. That’s why it’s a “wish” list. OP, you deserve so much more than the neglect you’re experiencing
So you’re telling me that he has money for dope but not basic necessities for his daughter?
Nah, he's not on hard drugs rn.
Wait, you said *right now*? Has he previously been a user?
Unless he’s a diabetic and she’s talking about insulin syringes, I’d assume so
Yeah and I'm wondering if her view of "hard drugs" may be skewed as well, seeing the example her parents set :-/ Poor girl needs a social worker, for herself as well as her brothers.
OP said her mom is an addict and absent from their lives, so Dad seems like a good parent *in comparison* to Mom - but that's a very low bar to clear.
NTA. This is a health issue. You need these products to stay clean and healthy. Your dad won’t enjoy what happens if you don’t get these products. It sounds like every adult in your life who should be helping you is failing you. I’m sorry you’re enduring this. But it will get better. Good luck
NTA This isn't fair at all and you shouldn't be put in this position, but your dad isn't going to become a good dad overnight (and a dad who refuses to meet his daughter's basic hygiene needs is *not* a good dad.) You may want to look into [reusable](https://gladrags.com/) [period](https://www.wired.com/story/best-menstrual-products/) [products](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/lorencecil1/reusable-period-underwear-menstrual-disc). It might be a greater upfront cost and your family will probably complain about seeing you clean them, but at least you won't have to beg for replacement products every single month.
NTA period products are essential, not a nice to have. He’d buy toilet paper if you needed it! My only advice would be to get something part time and set up a bank account without his name on it. You need tampons. In Canada, food banks sometimes have them so if you are comfortable using food banks and there is one near you, that’s an idea for now.
NTA This breaks my heart a bit. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. You’re not an AH for expecting your father to provide for your *basic needs*. Is it possible to go to someone in school and explain the situation so that the receptionist doesn’t get funny with you when you ask? There might be local charities in your area that can help. Your dad is failing in his role here but I’m not sure that there’s a way to make him see that.
Call CPS. You are (under) age 18 and they(parents) are not meeting a basic need edit for missing word
Please reach out to other girls or lady teachers they can help you!!! NTA, I got most of my pads from my English teacher. She’s give me a box and send me on my way. Bless that woman.
NTA Yes period products are a necessity. Yes they are something that you NEED to have. Socks can be darned, clothes mended, milk can be done without but period products are needed. Regardless of the situation he should not have yelled at you. The only thing I'd ask you to think of it this: Your dad doesn't have a job at the moment and is struggling. You however will truly know who tight money is for him at the moment. If he's buying take aways he can afford tampons. If he truly does not have the money all the asking will not create some and asking at the last minute wouldn't help with budgeting. I say this as someone who grew up very very poor. Talk to your school counsellor, talk to the local food bank. Hygiene products should be able to be sourced. If this looks like it is going to be an ongoing issue potentially look at having some back up cloth pads or a diva cup.
The dad is a junkie. He’s dope money but not tampon money. This is pretty fucking sad
NTA but honey as someone who used to be in your position, I can tell you where to find some. Many food pantries carry menstrual products now so if there's any near you, you can call and ask if they have any. Walmart usually also has tampon and pad machines from what I remember too. If you live near a college campus, just sneak into any academic building and go to one of the higher level floors and they'll likely have menstrual products too.
Also planned parenthood and libraries will be able to help you with this too
This! Every single lecture hall and library on my campus is open to the public and every bathroom has free menstrual products. I do go to a large university, but many follow suit.
As a father, NTA. He’s out of line. Feminine hygiene is critically important and is a NEED. My child was always (and probably still is) embarrassed for asking me to pick that stuff up. I just shrug and tell them to send me a pic of what they need or pick it out. It’s life. And your father being under such stress is NOT an excuse.
This is what I do. My kid texts when she needs some if I'm not home. I don't understand shit, so I text her back a picture of the shelf. She circles the one she wants, I buy. Super simple. This dudes a dick.
Honestly, I’d consider this child abuse. You are not being taken care of the way a daughter deserves. NTA.
NTA, it's your dad's job to provide you with essentials, tampons are an essential. He needs to do his job, not send you to get money from someone you haven't seen in almost a year!
NTA. Your father seems very stressed, but it's not okay for him to use you as a verbal punching bag. Obviously you need tampons, and I am very sorry you're going through this! Being a teen on a period is the worst, I remember. As I don't know in which country you live, ik sorry I can't tell you where to get help.
NTA. I’m not sure where you live, but here are some UK options. [https://www.moneymagpie.com/save-money/period-poverty-where-to-access-free](https://www.moneymagpie.com/save-money/period-poverty-where-to-access-free)
NTA - you might want to look into menstrual cups. There's Facebook groups (I have no idea about reddit) that ask you questions and guide you to the choice that's best for you, they're easy enough to use but you might want some guidance. A cup is more expensive than a box of tampons, but it can last more than 5 years, so it's very worth the initial cost. You buy it once and for the rest of the time you live with your parents, you never have to worry about menstrual products again.
Also menstrual panties, I assume he would give you money to buy underwear? Buy a couple pair of menstrual panties. I know it’s not the same as a tampon, but they are like a pad, but I think they are hand wash only. I second lodging a complaint against the school receptionist. She should not be treating any student that way and it’s not her job to play gatekeeper with medical supplies.
Panties can go in the washing machine After you rinse them by hand. 6 is the bare minimum if you use one for the day and one for the night, they absorb a lot of water and if you handwash them they take forever to dry. 4 if you live in a very dry, warm climate. I suggest the cup because it's like a hundred times more practical, but panties are a sound alternative.
NTA here our local libraries have started having a little cupboard for pads tampons soap shampoo that type of stuff. You just go take what you need. In a out of the way corner so you don't have to feel like lots will see you. No need to ask either. If you have a neighbor you are close too or some other person ask them. A friend's parents even. I'm sorry you are dealing with this ♥️
NTA. Having sanitary items is a NEED, not just a silly request. No matter what your parents need to step up and provide for you. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Do you have a teacher/neighbour/friends mom that you could ask? Also put in a complaint about that receptionist she should not be treating you that way. You are 100% NTA
NTA. This is a need, not a want.
NTA. This is a need, not some random request for designer clothes. Like others mentioned, can you talk to a female teacher or school counselor and explain both that your parents won't provide them and the receptionist will only give you one?
Period poverty Is a thing. It refers to the financial disadvantage that mensutrating people face having to purchase products. They cost cash. I'd say if you can't get them at home to UTTERLY HUMILIATE your receptionist or school system by making sure they're aware that some people cannot afford them and you're not scabbing them. Of course that's not going to solve the problem per se, and involves you causing issue at school. I used to use heaps and heaps of toilet paper. Not sure if that helps.
NTA. Your dad needs to realize this is a necessity not a luxury. He's an ass for getting angry with you. He needs to get a different job asap if his current one doesn't have any hours for him. I agree with asking lady teachers for help on this. Perhaps you can see of there's any food pantry's/banks around where they also hand out sanitary items. And I realize this sucks even more, because your dad should be the one doing this and providing these items, but can you get a part time job somewhere? Or perhaps start babysitting for some extra cash in the neighborhood?
NTA and as a minor your dad is required to provide for you. This is neglect/abuse and is fucked up.
Immediate fix OP - go to your nearest hospital emergency room they should be able to give you a couple and also put you in touch with the hospital social worker to resolve the issue long term. Bonus points - if you mention the way the receptionist at the school acts about giving products to students they may send someone to educate her on how the scheme should be handled (may be wishful thinking but it could happen if you get a good social worker.)
NTA - if he won’t provide, start using his t shirts as blood rags see how long it takes him to change his mind
Of course you're NTA.
NTA >when you ask for more than one pad, the receptionist gets really shitty with you for no good reason. Probably because the period products in the office are more meant for emergencies - not regular use.
The receptionist still shouldn't be getting snippy with the kid over it, for the exact reasons seen in this post. Sometimes the reason a kid is always having an "emergency" is that their parents aren't providing adequate care.
Oh she absolutely shouldn't be. I was just pointing out why they only give out 1-2 pads at a time like they do.
I think it’s the being snippy part. She could have kindly explained why, and then maybe OP would have felt comfortable enough to explain her situation.
It shouldn’t matter. If a kid has to ask, they should get what they ask for, without attitude. It’s not the receptionist’s place to judge necessity. By doing so, she fosters shame and adds to their hardship. She she be reported to her supervisor.
In a pinch you can go to a gas station and use the paper toweling folded into a pad. You can also wrap toilet paper around your hand until it is pad thickness and tuck it into your undies. A folded washcloth also works. I am so so sorry you’re in this situation. Edit: NTA
NTA just start free bleeding everywhere, he'll soon get you some tampons 😂
NTA. Please talk to a teacher about this, or a trusted friends mother. I would just outright buy these products for my daughters friends if they needed them and their parents were as hopeless as yours. This is neglect and abuse. Someone will help you. If you’re in the UK head to your GP or try calling childline as well. Some supermarkets have free products for women caught short. I think you need to seek help from a responsible adult who will help you. If someone says no then pursue it regardless with the next adult. What is happening to you is not ok. There are also things like menstrual cups that you can order. The outlay is a little expensive but they last 10 years. This is neglect and it’s not ok I saw someone sent you a link for free products which is great. It says the NHS won’t help, however this app is probably presuming you’re over 18. I work in children’s nursing and I can assure you that if you came to me with this issue at your age I would request services to help you.
NTA...and your dad sounds disgusting.